The Sloppy Boys - 25. Harvey Wallbanger
Episode Date: April 9, 2021The guys discover a brunchy beverage with its very own mascot.HARVEY WALLBANGER RECIPE1.5oz/45ml Vodka.5oz/15ml Galliano3oz/90ml Orange JuiceRecipes via the International Bartenders Association (https...://www.iba-world.com/) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love.
I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford.
Hello!
And Tim Kalpakis.
What is happening out there?
Whoa!
And we're your hosts, the Sloppy Boys.
Hey.
Jeff, he just doesn't stop changing.
He's amazing, isn't he?
He's a chameleon.
Yeah, I'm sort of like Madonna, David Bowie.
And check me out here, drinking a Ham's Tall Boy.
Ooh!
Is that a 16-ouncer?
It's a 60-ouncer.
Is Tall Boy always 16, or is it just like a 22 is also 20?
This doesn't feel like a 22.
This feels like a 16.
And yeah, man, it's from the land of sky blue waters.
Hands, Milwaukee beer.
It's good.
That's like a Pilsner-y beer for those who don't know.
It's like your basic of beers, right?
They keep it nice and light on the taste.
Yeah.
They don't want to bog you down.
They don't want to hit you with all that taste up top.
I don't need that. I do not need that right now.
Yeah, I don't have my spittoon on me.
What do we have going on today?
This is a weird one because we could have just called it the screwdriver.
No, no, no.
We can't just call it the screwdriver because it's a fern bar drink a famous fern bar beverage between two fern bars
between two fern bars but before we go down the road of sir wallbanger what do you say we get into
some certain type of news that begins with a booze hit it
certain type of news that begins with a booze hit it i'm jeff dutton i'm mike hanford we got tim what is up i'm diane sawyer those stories and
andy rooney tonight on booze news you ugly bitch sent in by kang or eric kang great work kind of a 60 minutes vibe
kang yeah that was uh that was a cool one that that funny voice at the end is
ah it's good it's good yeah yeah what is that what is that effect because it sounds chip monkey
but it's also like really gritty at the same time it's the one that i use that i think
everyone keeps finding is on garage band it's called helium i think okay and it's trying to
make you sound like you're on helium but it kind of keeps your lower track in there too so you're
kind of bouncing back and forth between octaves a little grimy it's exciting i think for the booze
news for anyone sending in the booze news,
you can kind of do whatever you want,
but as long as it's got that voice at the end
with a little expletive,
I think that's about where we can say
that's a booze news song.
Yeah, those stand out.
Those are the highlights.
Send them in to thesloppyboyspodcast
at gmail.com.
And speaking of people sending stuff in,
our first purse-. Purse.
What the fuck?
Like a handbag?
Our first piece of booze news here is sent in by the Wicker Man from our Discord.
Sent us this story, and I'm sharing it with you guys, Gadouge, in the chat.
Aperol, our favorite aperitivo, has come out with a paint.
What?
Oh, I saw this. at it it is now you're
drinking this paint i think that you put you put a little prosecco a little paint a little soda
so is it just called aperol it's cool it's like a uh it's like a deep 70s orange it's like it's
bright yeah and it's so they kind of copyrighted the Pantone.
There's like a Pantone
digit that denotes a
certain color. The same way Dodger Blue is a
specific blue and they do paints
and stuff. Yeah, this looks like orange
to me.
It is very orange.
I guess when you make Aperol into a
spritz, it gets more orange, but Aperol
is more red-pink, and this is sort of
orange, but it is pleasant. I like it. It's like a
70s, orangey
kind of thing. I'm going to paint my
whole room this color. Orangey,
orangey, kind of an orange.
So, folks, if you're painting
your house, get yourself some of that.
And then, one other thing,
I had a
couple of film recommendations that pertain to booze.
First up,
this is a movie I don't even want to say too much about,
but you guys and everyone listening,
check it out.
It's,
it's new.
And I think it was in like festivals in,
in the fall and is now streaming on the,
the,
you can rent it on the normal VOD apps,
a movie called Bloody Nose Empty Pockets.
Either of you guys heard of that?
No.
About a bar, right?
It's about a dive bar.
Yeah, I've seen it.
Oh, you saw it?
Mm-hmm.
Ooh.
Have you seen it?
I've seen it.
You seen?
Yes.
Have you?
You have seen?
You seen?
I have not seen.
I don't know if I want to talk too much about it.
Yeah, that's kind of what I was thinking is I both have huge praise and then huge questions.
But then I said, maybe we all watch it.
Maybe it becomes a Patreon episode.
Ooh.
Well, interesting, interesting stuff. Yeah, because we just covered another round with Mads Mikkelsen.
Exactly.
Yeah.
We're becoming film freaks.
The boozy films just keep on coming and coming.
Oh, and then this is a thing just for people to check out,
is the new Ken Burns doc series is about Hemingway.
Check that out because the Sloppy Boys may be sometime soon
dipping into one of ernest's favorites if
you want to be up to speed take a peek at pbs now was hemingway was hemingway in the uh we didn't
start the fire song by bill joel yeah i think the first line is he wrote the book he did write the
books well that's all we have for booze news do do do do do there you go pretty good booze. He did write the books. Well, that's all we have for Booze News.
Do-do-do-do-do.
There you go.
Pretty good Booze News, huh?
God, I can't believe the Booze News theme used to be do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
It was good.
It was good.
It was good.
And now it's like, whatever.
I think, honestly, us just saying do-do-do may be better than anything anyone sent in.
Ouch. Ouch.
Ouch.
Not the kanger.
Well, I love what everybody's doing with it, but I'm kind of an audiophile.
So when it comes to the mixing and mastering, I'm hearing some frequencies that are a little bit off.
Oh, cool.
But that's okay.
You should do a master class.
I've been saying it for years.
Tim, master class.
I've been pitching it to master class for years.
Audio.
Audio mastering for Boo. Tim Masterclass. I've been pitching it to Masterclass for years. Audio. Audio mastering for booze news themes.
Or dummies.
Okay, let's talk about the drink of the day.
This is another hashtag sloppy spring beverage that everyone is going to go nuts for.
It is called the Harvey Wallbanger.
You've had?
I've not had.
I have not had.
You've heard of?
Have heard of and have had just a vodka juice
or vodka orange juice screwdriver,
but I not had this.
Before we started this podcast,
I had never even
heard of this one. So I had no image in my head. And then it was, it's fun because when I looked
it up, it is one where there's a lot of articles being like, Oh boy, we all know wall banger
drinkers and we all remember that. So it's funny to just stumble upon something you don't know
about. I feel like I had heard of it and I had heard that there were some, I mean, I didn't know that it was as simple as it is. I
was picturing something crazy because it's called the name Harvey wallbanger makes the mind real.
It really does. Yeah. It really paints a picture of a certain guy. I was picturing like a bullshot
level thing or something crazy. And then I started to hear about like the variants, like long, slow screw against a wall.
Oh yeah.
And all those keywords like mean something.
So slow gin is a slow gin.
It's yeah.
It's like slow gin and long Island iced tea.
Maybe long is just like,
it's like a big drink,
like a long drink or something.
Yeah.
There's a bunch of different variations and they all have little keywords in them.ff you when we were talking about this i get the feel like have you had this
i've not had i thought you you just you talked about it no when i asked if he'd had
i you were talking in a way like oh we gotta do the wall banger we the wall banger i know
the wall banger i thought you were saying i know this drink i know it i know shit i was full of shit and now it all comes around well i got that
galliano hanging out hell yeah puts that to good use right right right right so yeah this drink
we have galliano because we made golden dreams with it and this drink, the Harvey Wallbanger is vodka, OJ and Galeano Italian liqueur. So it's
basically a screwdriver with a little hint of a vanilla flavor that comes from the Galeano and
makes it a little, I guess it's supposed to taste a little bit creamsicle-y. Oh, I remember when we
did that, I didn't have the Galeano or yeah, I couldn't find Galeano. So I bought something else.
I'm blanking on the name and I'm going to guess what is it's but it's like socorro oh you're making a soporo soporo beer
i think is what you got oh oh what the hell am i thinking about uh it's like an italian thing it's
got coraco sambuca sambuca
that's like it's like saying eureka when you finally think of something.
Sambuca.
Sambuca.
Well, we had never heard of fern bars until our Cosmopolitan episode.
And then we found out that this was a trend in the 70s of these kind of yuppie upper class singles bars in the 70s.
They had brass railings, hanging plants, and stained glass lamps.
And what's funny is the original one is the original TGI Fridays
on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.
Yeah.
And then they spun off.
There's a big one.
There was a San Francisco one called Henry Africa's that was very hip.
Is that one word? one called Henry Africa's that was very hip. And is that one word?
No,
Henry,
Henry Africa.
There are these bars where I guess it was kind of the first time that single
women were encouraged to go out to singles bars and,
and meet men.
Oh,
the single ladies,
the single ladies.
Oh,
great.
Now you have me doing that dance.
I'll put my hands uper than my very own jeans
Tighter than my very own jeans
Can on my lips
The popular drinks at Firm Bars were
Cosmos, Lemon Drops, Mud Slides, Grasshoppers
All the beverages that we equate with
Kind of the dark age of
Sweet, bad cocktails
That's funny because those all live in my brain
Is the same thing
It's like the 80s, right? Yeah, and it kind of started in the 70s Eat bad cocktails. That's funny because those all live in my brain is the same thing. Yep.
It's like the 80s, right?
Yeah, and it kind of started in the 70s, went into the 80s, and then by the 90s, this type of bar just became...
Family restaurants.
Family restaurants, like Bennigan's, Rudigan's, Houlihan's, Applebee's.
The 99.
Uncle Moe's Family Feedbag.
Yeah, all the places with the crap on the walls.
So, Tim, you're saying this started in the 70s, went to 80s, so we're talking one from Disco to New Wave. Yeah. All the places with the crap on the walls. So Tim, you're saying this is
started in the 70s,
went to 80s.
So we're talking
one from Disco
to New Wave.
Okay.
It went from
Disco to Frisco.
Disco to Frisco.
All right.
Okay.
But this particular drink,
here's the myth behind it.
Yeah.
And you guys
are going to see right through it.
Tim,
we want to hear the facts.
Not the myth.
You'll figure out, let's see if you can figure out the facts when I, not the myth. You'll figure out.
Let's see if you can figure out the facts when I tell you this myth.
The myth is that in the 1950s, there was a surfer dude in Manhattan Beach, California named Tom Harvey, and that he went to a bar on the Sunset Strip called the Black Watch Bar.
And there's a famous bartender named Duke Antone.
And Harvey asked Duke for a special drink.
And Duke made him this, a screwdriver with some Galliano in it.
And then the myth says that Harvey drank so many of them
that he banged into walls.
Hey!
So that hence the Harvey wallbanger.
Now, guess what the real story is.
That's good.
Oh,
I hope it's exactly the same.
Me too.
No changes.
Oh,
it just wasn't,
uh,
the sunset strip.
It was on Santa Monica Boulevard.
No,
it was a marketing guy came up with the whole thing.
They're all marketing guys.
They had to sell some extra Galliano.
So they came up with putting it in a screwdriver.
Exactly.
It's the Galliano guy who was like assigned that account.
And maybe Duke Antone was involved, but he runs a bartending school in Connecticut.
So if it happened at all, it was in Connecticut.
Wow.
This is kind of like how Jesus was born in the summer, we think.
Yeah.
Well, speaking of Jesus and all the kind of iconography and the crucifixes you associate with
him uh they cooked up a mascot for this drink and he absolutely rules uh google uh harvey
wallbanger cartoon uh doing an image search what the he's like a little egghead guy
i mean i love that it's so all the things are so 70s
they look like straight out of hr puff and stuff exactly it's all like trippy hippie it looks like
lsd art yeah it's a guy holding a sandwich board what the one on that i see it's like a button
yeah huge feet and sandals and on the sandwich board it just says four measures of orange juice to one measure of vodka
add ice and stir splash in and measure galliano which yeah it's funny even within their campaign
they change up the recipe quite a bit and it varies from the iba but i love a lot of these
i'm seeing it says harvey wallbanger is the name and i can be made yeah i don't it feels like is
there a double entendre there like i can be made as in a drink can be made but made is like i don't it feels like is there's is there a double entendre there like i can be made
as in a drink can be made but made is like i don't know like a mob if you're in disguise and the cops
figure out it's you you're like oh they made me right or if you're tailing someone maybe i was
made he's a little drunk he looks like a he's he's a mess this guy yeah he's got bug eyes and wire
hair and he looks like shit sometimes he has no hair at all
yeah he's not smiling he just looks like spooked no he looks distraught uh he's like his eyes he's
got bags under his eyes and his mouth is a slit like just a horrible slit he looks like he's been
up all night listening to the sloppy boys podcast all right wall bangers so it feels like they were going for a california a surfer
stoner vibe so which is different than a san francisco yuppie burn bar vibe but who knows
maybe a funny little tattoo a little wall banger you know what more drinks should have mascots
folks i know send us your drink mascots draw them up send them you got sp Spuds McKenzie and Harvey Wallbanger, the only ones I can think of.
Oh, yeah.
And Spuds was discontinued because he was marketed towards kids.
I wonder if this Wallbanger had that same problem.
Well, kids, see, if kids ever got a look at this guy, they'd run for the hills.
This Wallbanger fellow.
Okay, so the recipe that we're going to use today from the IBA is one and a half ounces of vodka,
half an ounce of Galliano,
three ounces of fresh orange juice.
Stir the vodka and OJ with ice in a highball glass.
Float the Galliano on top.
Garnish with an orange slice and an Amaricino cherry.
Oh, we're putting Luxardos in here?
You better believe it.
Okay, Tim, I meant
to ask you this, and I'm going to do it now. I don't have any cherries. You know that. They've
been stolen from me. I don't know where they are. They're gone. Did you file a police report?
You think any of these cops care about that? I have that maraschino liquid, though. Should I
just do a little splash of that? You know, they said garnish. So I would say don't even worry about it because
if you splash it, you might turn this into
a tequila sunrise.
That's not so bad either, except it's vodka.
Vodka sunrise.
Jeff, do you have any questions that I can field?
Well, yeah.
I'm a little pissed off that I have to float that
Galeano. I want it in there, baby.
And what's float mean? You just pour it on top, right?
And don't stir it? Just pour it gently on top. But if that's the defining ingredient that makes us not
a screwdriver, it's kind of weird to be, if you put a straw down to the bottom, you'll just be
drinking screwdriver. It's like, is the Galliano garnish at that point? Yeah. Jeez. Should be part
of the drink. Yeah. Just good. A good looking garnish is a little pool of yellow. I feel like we haven't done a stirring drink lately.
This will be fun.
Don't over stir.
Don't get too excited.
No, no, no, no, no.
Great.
Well, I'm ready to make you make a drink.
How about you?
Yes, I am too.
Let's do it.
Yes.
Great.
Be right back.
Hey, folks, it's me, Miley. Sorry, Mike. Be right back. rock band that the Sloppy Boys actually tour with, with weird, funny songs like I Got a Perm
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You will love it.
And we're back.
Harvey Wallbanger's in hand.
Now, what are we going to do?
Are we going to drink from the top?
Are we going to sip from the bottom?
Are we going to mix it up?
Oh, I see what you're doing.
I see what the floater's all about.
Because if I were to just take a drink from the top right now,
I would just drink all of my Galliano.
Right. You got to sip selectively.
I'm going to sip selectively.
That's what I'll do.
I'm going to do that thing where like you,
you start,
you put,
you place the straw at the top of the drink.
And as you start sucking,
you push it down into the drink.
Oh my God.
Okay.
I'm going to do that.
The old Galeano plunge.
Very complicated.
Here we go.
Mm-hmm.
Oh. very complicated here we go oh alright
I'm just stirring it
I'm just stirring it
I instinctively just started stirring it
the Galeano plunge was too hard
my hands are sticky as hell
I got Sambuca
on my hands and I'm sticky
Sambuca when I put and I'm sticky. Sambuca!
Sambuca! When I put my
orange slice garnish on top, it
soaked up all the Galeano right into it.
So I'm going to have to eat that to get any
of it.
Here we go. I
took a little sip of Galeano as I was
making this thing. Yeah. And I
made myself mad again because it's
one of those star and East things.
Yeah.
It's licorice,
right?
I got eight fucking bottles of licorice liquor.
And,
but this one does have that vanilla thing.
We decided like when you mix it up,
the vanilla starts to come out.
We decided it really doesn't have vanilla on its own.
It's only when it's combined with the OJ.
Um,
so wait,
what do you,
what would you say?
I think that,
um,
if you didn't have Galliano and you wanted to use
what we already had, maybe some of that yellow
chartreuse that we used would
have worked. Right. Honestly,
even a tiny splash of absinthe.
I don't like the floater
when it's clear.
That's not fun because then you have no idea
what's floating around.
Where's the showmanship?
You know what this tastes like to me? The candy Like, that's not fun, because then you have no idea what's floating around. Where's the showmanship? Yeah.
You know what this tastes like to me?
The candy called Mike and Ike's.
No, Good and Plenty.
Hey, that other capsule-shaped candy.
Yeah, that other capsule-shaped.
But the thing is, it's got the fruit taste and the licorice. So it's kind of like an Ike and plenty.
I've been Mike.
Yeah, I'm getting it's an interesting drink.
Yeah.
You know, this is I feel like you kind of I like it because I'm lowering my bar of expectation.
It's not a showstopper like we've had on this podcast before, but it's more fun than just
having a screwdriver. Sure.
Yeah, a screwdriver is pretty
pedestrian, if you ask
me, and it's... Oh, yes.
A screwdriver is for
the common folk. Hoi polloi.
The common man. No, this is the war
banger. Now, you've got to watch it because
you know that I'm kind of a big-time
pedestrian. I'm out there on the sidewalks every day.
I'm using the footpath.
I've heard from the Neighborhood Drivers Association that you are often getting hit.
Stop talking to my Neighborhood Drivers Association.
Yeah, this is something.
And I'm not loving it.
It's not ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Right. It's not ba-da-ba-ba-ba.
Right, it's not ba-da-ba-ba-ba.
It's funny to have this after we've already done the Golden Dream,
because the Golden Dream is sort of heightened.
It's like this plus heavy cream.
Oh, hey, wait till we do the screwdriver.
Yeah, wait till we do just a shot of vodka.
We should do one week that's just a big glass of cream.
The thing that the people on the Discord hate.
Like, there was so much stuff where, like, they keep doing cream drinks.
I can't drink cream.
These fucking guys.
I hate their show.
I wish it never came in my life.
I can't drink cream.
I like it getting a little meltier. Yeah.
Well, this is going to be
what happens every time where we try it and we're like,
I have thoughts. And then as you get
halfway through, it gets a little melty.
You're like, ah, I love this drink.
It's not so bad after all.
I'm sorry I said anything.
What we really like is water.
Do you guys want to hear some of the pop culture references to this beverage?
Yes, yes, sure.
Because I mentioned Moe's Family Feedbag from The Simpsons,
but they call it out more specifically in a different episode.
In the Flaming Moe episode,
Homer is told by attorney Lionel Hutz that you can't copyright
a drink. This all goes back
to the Frank Wallbanger case of
1978. That's right.
And then the 1982
Milwaukee Brewers
were nicknamed Harvey's Wallbangers
because of their power hitting.
That's kind of weird because
they're already the Milwaukee Brewers. So it's
like to have another boozy joke is like you're're already the Brewers yeah they should be the Harvey wall or
ball bangers you know what's a funny thing I I am shocked hasn't been made into a movie
um or at least 10 seasons of a tv show that little Harvey wallbanger cartoon. Yeah. Yeah. That little guy. Um,
the fact that the Chicago Cubs used to do spring training in Catalina.
Oh yeah.
Cause the Wrigley gum guy who owns Wrigley field also like bought the island of Catalina in the fifties or something.
And the,
the idea of these like mustachioed like,
uh,
Chicago guys being like,
I'm going out the Catalina to play
training. We got it. They go very, they all get sunburned. He's like Chicago dudes. I went to the
field and I saw like, they like the Wrigley mansion looks like the white house and it's all
fancy, but it's such a small Island. It's funny. There's, there was like nothing else for them to
do. There's a, there's a baseball field there now.
I've been there, but I haven't been to the field.
There's not a stadium.
I saw a practice field, and I assumed that that was the place.
Last couple of things here I jotted down.
In CB trucker lingo, Harvey Wallbanger is a drunk driver.
Hey, that's funny.
You see somebody.
You say, watch out.
We got Harvey Wallbanger coming up. Yikes. And then, yeah, and it's been name dropped in Sesame Street and see no Hey, that's funny. So you see somebody and say, watch out. We got Harvey Wallbanger coming up.
Yikes.
And then, yeah,
and it's been named
dropped in Sesame Street
and see no evil,
hear no evil.
But Sesame Street.
Yeah.
Oh, there's a
there's a character
who loves practical jokes
and his name is
Harvey Knee Slapper.
Oh, that's funny.
Practical jokes.
Hey, did you see
because I'm on
a Sopranos kick.
Mm hmm. Did you see the clip going uh, cause I'm on a Sopranos kick. And did you see the,
uh,
clip going around of Gandolfini on Sesame street?
No.
Oh,
it's great.
What's he do?
Um,
I think Zoe,
does he make them an offer that they can't refuse?
Zoe's like the new Elmo.
She's like a girl,
right?
Yeah.
She's Elmo's friend.
She's like walking down the street and she gets like scared of something.
And she's like, ah, and she's kind of freaking out and Gandolfini's walking by and he's like what's the matter and she's like I got scared what's your matter with you and yeah yeah kind of
well it's funny because you hear the real Gandolfini voice which is just like which is just
like uh 15 degrees less piggy he's but he's there's no New Jersey in it too he's more Kevin
Finnerty he's he sounds like uh
just like a smart actor kind of and they're like you get frayed mr gandolfini and he's like yeah
i'm three i'm scared of three things and i forget what like the three of them are but
it just like cuts to little vignettes of him being like scared in bed
we gotta check that very charming knowing that like gand that Gandolfini can be a tyrant.
Yeah.
That little impression I just did was the best Gandolfini impression I've ever done.
Wow.
I actually didn't know that.
We were here for it?
That's a landmark.
I used to think I did a really good Tony Soprano impression, and a lot of people said, no, you do not.
They were like, you should watch the show, Mike.
Yeah.
You should see what he sounds like i watched an episode once with a friend of mine and we were i don't know what was happening but tony was talking about prescriptions and he's like
we just get this prescriptions
we were we had such a fun time with it. I love Sopranos.
I rewatched it recently, but I watched it back in the day.
And I remember that, I don't know if you've gotten there yet, Jeff,
but I told my dad a million times, you got to watch this show with me.
It's so great.
And then he finally watched and I won't spoil anything,
but it was like a season four episode that is notorious of being like the
most harsh, violent, sad thing ever on
television. And, uh, and my dad was like, why are you watching this stuff? And I was like,
you gotta believe me. It's not normally like this dad. Oh, okay. I was going to say like,
he didn't watch up to that point. He just saw that one. He just like ducked in for one episode
and saw horrible stuff. And he was like, what's wrong with you? It was kind of like, I think I
told you before that my dad saw me watching Problem Child.
And then afterwards, he didn't say I couldn't watch or anything, but he was like, you like that?
I was like, yeah.
It's funny.
He kind of took you aside and was probing you, being like, is my son going to be a murderer?
Right, because that kid in that movie.
He's a sociopath.
He aspires to be a serial killer.
He looks up to Michael Richards richards well you guys remember this
story i'm sure i've told you that you know my dad one time caught me not jerking off but he caught
me uh wise enough yeah you were alone in your room i was in my room and i was like yeah what
are you fucking looking i was just kind of staring at the wall what the fuck are you looking at you
think you're a tough guy over here?
Interrogating your stuffed animals.
I'm going to kick your fucking ass.
You're going to get smart with me?
Doing this Joe Pesci impression.
What's funny to me?
What's funny about?
What is this?
Then he said, oh, he's like, oh, sorry.
And he closed the door.
My son, Wisenhoff?
Well, he's that age.
I went in there because I was hoping to get some jerking off.
I'm actually, I'm going to go wash my hands.
I'm fully sticky on my hands.
It's unbelievable. Let's do a hand wash
break. Let me just do a quick, quick hand wash
break. I got a whiz.
Great.
If the Fern bar was the singles bar of the 70s, right?
And that was kind of a big deal that it's like, yeah, go there alone.
Meet a man.
And it's not frowned upon.
Do you think we have a modern day equivalent or is just every bar a singles bar and then you're just swiping on your phone when you meet?
Wait, so a singles bar, like that always,
the thought of a singles bar is funny to me.
It feels like a very 80s thing that you'd see in a sitcom or something.
But like a singles bar would be for women to go out and meet people
or were there women's single bars?
Because like single people of both uh sides
of a relationship had to have to show up right and you gotta before you're in a relationship
technically you're both single unless there's adultery involved um no um the original well
a lot of bars used to just be like 60 year old men drinking gin late at night or right
i mean a lot of bars right okay like didn't, isn't like McSorley's in New York
didn't even allow women for a long time
and it was all very gendered.
I think that then it was sort of this expectation
that you either came to bars as a couple or you didn't go.
And then the TGI Fridays,
the original one on the Upper East Side
was the first place where it's just like,
it was socially acceptable. Like you wouldn't see a woman there alone and think why is she out here you'd be like yeah she's out
on the town she's having a little bit of fun there's uh it makes me think of like like jeff
when you were saying like bars would just be like 60 year old men drinking gin it makes me think of
like why bars would be like it's ladies night. Ladies get half off drinks just to like bring other women out to the bar. So like guys would
go to the bar and yeah, it's good for everybody. Cause it's just an assumption that there's going
to be too many guys and guys will pay whatever, whatever they have to. But I mean, uh, in the
modern day, in the modern era, it feels like all bars are more single across the board.
all bars are more single across the board.
Like,
but also people aren't going there to look around and meet someone up.
It's like a lot of time you're like meeting up with someone that you met on an app,
right?
Oh,
maybe if you are a single,
but what about,
what about the club?
Are you,
who's going to the clubs now?
I would only go there if I have a bottle full of Bob,
otherwise I wouldn't even,
it doesn't make sense.
Yeah. Um, you know, it bottle full of bub. Otherwise, I wouldn't even. It doesn't make sense, Matthew.
You know what was a funny single scene?
Remember?
Eight years ago when we did a sketch comedy show in San Diego.
And then afterwards, we ended up at this bar.
We didn't know where to go.
And instead of finding a cool bar with like young comedy,
we did it. We did an on-campus show at UCSD. And then we went back to our hotel and just went to the closest bar. So I want to say it was like in Carlsbad. It was in the suburbs and it was like
kind of an older divorcee scene. And we were in our twenties and everyone else was in their 40s. But it was those guys. I love it.
I love flat brim hat guys with airwalks with the socks pulled up and shorts like Dickies, Tillys.
Still dressing like Limp Bizkit.
Still dressing like Fred Durst.
Fred Durst.
And we were just like in the middle of a scene where it was like a bunch of those guys, 45 years old, meeting up with a bunch of 45 year old women and dancing and having a blast.
And we were just like, damn, SoCal.
They really were having a blast.
It was like I remember there was like a bar.
It was a bar and then like a balcony.
Yes.
And like people were like dancing up on the balcony and stuff.
It was very cool.
I have a really funny picture looking down off the balcony and there's the dance floor.
cool. I have a really funny picture looking down off the balcony and
there's the dance floor and
you can see really distinctly
Chris dancing in the middle of
the park.
He's like got his
hands up and he's by himself in the sea
of like divorcees. It's very funny.
I think it's on my Instagram.
I remember the end of the night for me
Dave Ferguson and I got very
drunk and we walked down to the train tracks, right?
Which the train tracks, it was the train tracks and then the beach.
But to get down the beach, you had to fall like down a big cliff and we didn't want to do that.
So we were like, OK, we're going to wait here for this train because we saw like way in the distance, like train light.
And we waited for like a half an hour and this train like never came.
We're like, I don't think that's a train.
I think that's a house. It's just like a half an hour and this train like never came we're like i don't think that's a train i think that's a house it's just like a light common misconception and uh we went back went back to
the hotel and to bed that's always funny when you kind of travel for a show and then you perform
for something like 15 college kids in the campus dining hall or whatever.
Who were not into it.
And then you're not into it.
Free event for students, but no flyers were posted.
So they didn't know to go to it.
And then you just try to have as much fun that night as you can, because otherwise you're going back home with your tail between your legs. You know, Mitch and Chris and I went back to Ithaca to do like a Q&A.
Oh, yeah.
Q&On, right?
Yeah, for Q&On.
It was before Q&On was big.
Yeah, yeah.
We kind of started it up there.
Cool.
No, we showed some Birthday Boys episodes.
And, you know, we thought it would be,
we thought people would show up, basically.
Because here was this group of Ithaca people.
We thought there would be attendance. Yeah. We were a group of Ithaca people we thought there would be attendance yeah
we were a group of ithaca kids who went to la and got themselves a tv show and then when you go to
ithaca you do see all these posters up being like and it's like watchmen this person did crafty on
watchmen and it's like look that's to do, to work in entertainment at all.
But we had no representation whatsoever
as six Ithaca grads with their own comedy show.
And then we did the Q&A for like 30, 40 people.
Wow.
And somebody flagged us down and was like,
you should have been here last week.
McLovin and Dave Franco were here.
The line was down the block.
Don't tell us that like you should have been here to see them to be mad to be jealous and mad to see a line the line was done you guys should have had dave franco with you that would have helped big
time i know i also remember when i was a student at itthaca, the guy from my date with Drew came and he was treated like he was Justin Bieber or something.
Yes, I remember that.
Maybe people are aware of us and they just specifically don't like us.
Didn't like it.
Wow.
Ouch.
It hurts.
That's one of those weird things about the world, I guess.
Yeah.
They got to add an eighth wonder to the list.
Well, I guess let's chew on that while we
take a break love it and we're back do we get into final thoughts? Yes, who's back? Oh, I need to bring this.
You know, the famous Eminem song,
Guess Who's Back, back again.
That was an episode where I was doing a bunch of those drops
and I had a lot of fun.
Who could forget, yeah.
When I have my phone on random song now
when I'm like running or something,
every once in a while,
it'll just be like,
Fuck you, Debbie!
Because you trimmed it down just to the sample
yeah it's like yes who's back and then the next one i'm always like what the fuck all right have
you had that thing happen where you get in your car and then your phone plays this a song that
begins with a yeah yeah i've heard of that i don't my my car's old, but there there's, there's a sleigh bell song that is like a,
a something or like a slash.
So it's like always the a would come first and it's a jarring song.
It always scared me.
But then for a while we did some UCB show where I was dancing and singing to another
day of sun.
Um, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's that from? Uh, La La Land. La La Land. Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah. Another day of Sun. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's that from?
La La Land.
La La Land, yeah.
Oh, right, yeah.
Another Day of Carbs, isn't it?
Yes, City of Carbs.
City of Carbs.
City of Carbs.
That's actually some really good comedy.
But then in my car, for the next year,
that song synced up from my iTunes on my computer to my phone.
And every time I got in my car, that song would blast and I have a convertible. So it's so,
it's the worst where it's like just in the Albertsons parking lot. It's like another day.
It's wonderful here, people. What a town. What a wonderful town.
You know, what I saw online is that a lot of people's song for that, because it does play alphabetically, is A Punk by Vampire Weekend.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
A hyphen punk.
Yeah, if you got A and then some punctuation.
I just looked at mine.
The song that always comes up for me is Weezer, Across the Sea always comes up.
Heavy song. But I do have Fish's ACDC bag on three different shows before that.
I don't know why I won't play those.
The Sloppy Boys.
Here's how we get famous, guys.
We put out a bunch of songs that are all A space, A period, A dash.
We're guaranteed to kind of monopolize the top of the playlist.
You know what's like, remember that band?
It was just three exclamation points.
Yeah, Chick Chick Chick.
Chick Chick Chick.
So how did you know that was their name?
I didn't for a long time, and then I heard somebody say it. The files that ended up on my computer, it said artist, point exclamation point exclamation point parentheses
chk chk chk wow this is our name this is how to say it i don't know that's a tough one for
kind of like the opposite of what tim's saying for a band to be like we're this thing no one
knows how to spell i don't like when you have to think extra hard about how to pronounce shit yeah
yeah like band names it's just Megan Thee Stallion.
And they got me walking around saying Thee
for the first month.
And then what else? Ray Sremmurd?
That's too hard to say. She got me walking around
going, ah.
Yeah, she
got me walking around going, ah.
Gag reflex.
How do you say this band's name?
I'm just going gonna write it for you
oh i'm gonna have to read your chicken scratches come on now um mgmt i've heard people say
management um yeah same with uh nerd people are like you like that band nerd like not any rd um i watched a video uh youtube video breaking down mgmt's career
and they said that those guys started that group as like a joke they were like
college students being like what if we pretended we were indie stars and we we had these hooky
songs like and then it got really popular and that's why already by their second album, they were
like making weird, challenging music, because they're like, we didn't want to do this shit.
Huh.
Hmm.
Well, it works, guys.
It's good news for any other bands that started sort of as a joke.
Yeah.
Um, the Harvey Wallbanger.
How do we feel?
I'm drinking this.
I'm liking it more and more as
it's going down. I would say it's a, um, I, I like it. It's nothing special, but maybe it's
the opposite of appointment only. Right. It's like, you're, you're never going to get excited
about it, but if you looked in your fridge or if you looked at your cabinet and you saw some
Galeano you're trying to get rid of.
I would have another round.
Yeah, I'd have another round.
It does feel like, yeah, if I'm trying to get rid of Galliano the same way that the ad guy at Galliano was trying to get rid of some Galliano, then I would get a whole bunch of them.
I would draw a cartoon character and try to sell it. If I were at a fern bar, it's kind of funny because all the other fern bar drinks are like grasshopper and mudslide are so intense.
This is probably the one I would order at a fern bar.
Is Galeano strong?
Were we putting some like real liquor in there?
Is it like 30 proof?
I don't know.
I just blew in my breathalyzer and I'm a point 10,000.
It doesn't really work out with the decimal points, does it?
It's 40% ABV.
So 40% means 80 proof.
So that is strong.
Yeah.
This is a drink where if I was at a party or a bar and someone was like, hey, I made some Harvey Wallbangers.
I'd be like, cool.
Did you make anything else?
All right.
You didn't.
I'll have the Harvey Wallbanger.
I don't
dislike it and even if he says he didn't you'd be like could you please please make could you
make me a screwdriver and he'd be like i don't know how he'd be like don't know how what the
fuck just start with the galliano uh yeah the bartender was like hey i made an extra one of
these do you want you want you? You want? You want?
You have?
I love that when a bartender gives you an extra accident drink.
I ordered some drink at a big bar here in Los Feliz at Alcove.
Sure.
And the bartender, she gave me and Jessica our drinks.
And then one minute later, she came back and she was like, I made those wrong, by the way.
So here's another round that I made right. and i had i didn't notice because i'm too stupid
i got a martini here the other day in new york and the fucking thing i had to send it back like
twice it was like first like almost all vermouth and then, also no olive juice. And then he brought one back with more olive juice.
And then, again, too much vermouth.
I was like, let's cut it here, man.
What's going on here?
And this is an establishment, too.
This was a nice place.
You know, you and I are not the types of people who would, like, send things back.
Right.
Willy nilly.
I hate it.
I hate it.
But too much vermouth in a martini is reason to send things back right willy-nilly i hate it but uh too much vermouth in a martini is is
reason to send it back especially because you're paying 15 for that martini and when i said
basically no vermouth yes my man i hate sending things back but i did one time on new year's eve
i ordered a martini and i said little dirty which i've learned to not say anymore just don't get it dirty if you only wanted a little dirty but the guy juiced it up so much with the olive brine but i didn't want
to send it back right but that it was almost undrinkable and i spent my new year's eve
drinking salt water like a dumbass drinking brine um well is that it for the wall banger i think it
is it's well covered for me it's fine yeah it is. That's it. That's it for me.
It's fine.
Yeah.
It's good.
It's fine.
It's fine.
We're okay with it existing.
Yes.
I like the idea of where it came from, the fern bars in the 80s.
Everyone's got the brass rails.
Great.
Sure.
Great.
Everyone's got the brass rails going on.
Sliding down those rails.
Now, are you two ready for a little bit of a quiz?
Oh! Oh!
This is a very
simple quiz. It's
one question.
Shit. Okay.
And it's not a question. It's a command.
Oh. Name
me three
actors who have played
Harvey Dent.
Um, Aaron. Aaron.
Aaron Eckhart.
That's one.
I have his phone number, by the way.
Call him up.
Congratulate him for the role.
Oh, Tommy Lee Jones.
That's right.
Gary Oldman?
No, that's the...
Who are you going to pick?
Commissioner Gordon.
Okay, shit, shit.
Fuck.
I mean, I'm sure the animated series had like an actual actor as the voice, but I don't know who it is.
There's a bunch of them.
There's a bunch of them.
Is there still like a celebrity one we haven't said yet?
Yeah.
You probably didn't know he did this.
Actually, there's a guy.
I bet you like Harvey.
Who we know.
Who we know.
Who we know.
Oh, from like.
In real life?
You know who it is?
It's probably the person who was in Lego Batman because it's a bunch of.
Is it like Steve Agee or something like that?
No, it's not Steve Agee.
I need just.
I'm just doing a little dig in here to make sure.
Is it a comedy person?
Yeah, it's like Kroll or somebody.
It is a comedy person.
Oh, John Mulaney.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
It is Hannibal Buress.
No, he went to our college.
Andy Daly.
Andy Daly.
Andy Daly.
No shit.
Andy Daly was Harvey Dent.
In something called Harley Quinn.
I guess that was just some animated spin-off thing.
Oh, that's a new show.
Oh, okay. Wait, can you look up who was Harvey Dent in Lego Batman?
Because all the Lego Batman people are like
Garfunkel and Oates and stuff. Troy Baker.
I don't know Troy Baker. Troy Baker.
You don't know Troy Baker. But I think there's
a bunch of different Lego
Batmans.
Harvey Dent becomes Two-Face, right?
So when Tommy Lee
Jones was Two-Face, he starts that movie. He's already Two-Face, right? Yes. So when Tommy Lee Jones was Two-Face, he starts that movie.
He's already Two-Face, right?
Is that Batman Forever?
Yeah, because those were kind of like not great.
I thought it was cool.
Oh, actually, the Lego Batman also looks like Billy Dee Williams, I think, was.
What?
Like I'm saying, I think there's a bunch of different like iterations of Lego.
Lando Calrissian.
Batman.
Yeah, that was Billy Dee Williams was Harvey Denton, Two-Face in the Lego Batman movie.
Okay, well, that's cool. But then there's something else.
Troy Baker's in Lego Batman.
That might be like a TV show thing.
I don't know.
But we also got William Shatner, Richard Mole.
Oh.
Who else do we, I don't really know anyone else.
Billy Dee Williams
was the spokesman
for Colt 45
malt liquor
really
those are some cool
oh I remember that
yeah that was after
Lando right
yeah
it's hard for me
you know you
when you guys are
talking about these
these Batman characters
sorry if I seem
like stressed out
but I just prefer
the MCU
over DC comics
wow wow Tim I knew that about you I just prefer the MCU over DC Comics.
Wow.
Wow.
Tim, I knew that about you.
Yahuza.
I watched Endgame and Infinity War the other day.
Really?
Back to back?
I kind of scrolled through them a little bit and got to some action scenes that I wanted to see.
I wanted to see that snap.
Yeah, yeah.
It's funny that like the Snyder Cut came out and everybody was talking about the Snyder Cut and and you're like you know what i'm gonna go back to the fucking infinity war end game wait what was the snyder cut was dc stuff unless did zach snyder do a cut of end game they
should let him get in there on the knob snyder cut is a four hour version of justice league
okay that's what i watched last night and nobody's really liking it on its own two feet. People say it's interesting to watch
because you're like, oh, there was some good scenes
with Batman or whatever, but it's like a bloated movie
that was cut down for good reason.
It's just about maybe they didn't cut the right stuff.
My big qualm with it is that they didn't fucking end it.
I thought this was going to be like a satisfying thing
where they wrap it up and they rock and roll.
And it was just like another one of these fucking movies that despite even being four hours sets up the new bad guy and
it's like uh not satiating well you guys want to look at some mail yeah yes all right this is
coming in from allison she says hey boys. My four-year-old
recently said the F word and said he learned
it from you guys.
Don't worry.
My husband and I give you three all the credit
when our friends ask how he got so cool.
Hey, I like
that. Dang, what would that
song? I wonder what song it was. In light of your
influence on the youth of America, what
is some advice you would give your childhood self?
Thanks.
Love the pod, Allison.
P.S.
He listens to music with headphones when we listen to your show now,
so please don't call CPS.
Yikes.
Maybe in here for the beer, right, Mike?
You're like, we're guys who like to fuck.
Oh, yeah.
Yeesh.
Yeesh.
What would we tell our childhood selves?
I'd tell childhood Mike to, you got to learn to play the bass, man.
You got to learn to play that fucking thing.
Yeah, maybe.
Hey, maybe try and tell that to adult Mike.
Jesus Christ.
Okay, okay.
I don't want to tell adult Tim off the air.
You're about to be caught wising off off the air.
Oh boy.
I would probably tell myself to
just be kind of awesome.
Frankly.
I would tell my younger self
to invest.
Invest in Bitcoin.
On day one.
Day one. I would invest. That is i would that's actually i would invest earlier i would invest hey all the kids out there invest invest don't say the f word
invest in any anytime you feel the urge to say fuck instead buy one share of apple i wish i told my young self hey invent the iphone
if only you had just known to do that you could have got together some kind of aluminum foil and
some tape it could have been me i would have said pay more attention to King Ralph. It's a funny movie.
Pay more attention while you're watching it. I was thinking,
I don't know how to give my younger self a way around this, but I was remembering recently just how much homework I used to have to do.
I feel like when I was in seventh grade or earlier sixth grade,
I would have to come home and I'd be like i have so much homework and
then i do homework for like a whole two hours yeah and i and and it was always teased to me like hey
if you don't do your homework in sixth grade i think that like seventh and eighth grade junior
high there was like you get into the young scholars program for gifted and talented kids
and i and i so i worked hard and then i did do that and i was in that program and but then once you're in that program you're like well you gotta work hard so you get when
you get in high school you're gonna be in ap classes and i did do that then i'm in high school
and i fucking blow off my ap classes because it's stupid and then nothing ever mattered so the
the peak of my academic career was when i was in sixth grade. That's stupid. Just go play with toys.
I, you know, it's so funny, like doing homework as a kid. I, you know, that feeling when like
you get into the class and be like, okay, take out the homework. And you were like,
fuck, I didn't write down the, we had homework like that moment of just like, oh shit.
Did you guys have assignment notebooks? It was like was like a little, it was like a planner that was like half the size of a page.
Yeah.
You would write like, oh, I got to do the odds from pages 35 and 36 for math.
Yeah.
I was so disorganized as a kid that like either I didn't have an assignment notebook or I did and I just like didn't write it on the real day.
And I remember having notebooks with all sorts of notes and drawings in them. And then I would like write a note on a random page crooked in one corner being
like page 39 odds tonight. And more than one time I would come in having done the wrong homework
just because there was no rhyme or reason as to my to-do list was just complete chaos.
I had, I remember one time in a math class when you were saying do the odds makes me think of like the answers are in the back of the book for the odds.
Yeah, yeah.
I remember doing like whatever in high school at some point, I think junior year, doing whatever homework was and totally like not having time and just like basically writing the answers down.
And like feigning showing work. And my teacher like, it was like, Mike, uh, come here.
Or she was going around the room and she was like, Oh, you didn't,
you got to show her work here. You didn't, you can't just do the answers.
I was like, I don't, you know, I don't know.
It was, we both knew what was going on. I was like, yeah, I did.
I haven't thought about that in 30 years,
the idea of doing the evens or the odds,
but that is the teacher admitting that there's too many math problems in the book.
Like you would say do the evens or do the odds so that you would not have to do so many, but you could still get to the harder ones.
But it's like it means that they put 30 math problems at the end of a chapter.
That's too many.
Did I ever tell you guys the greatest trick the devil ever pulled convincing the world he didn't exist yeah but in this case the devil is me in catholic school
i turned in a paper that was supposed to be a two-page paper and i just ran out of steam
because i'm a concise guy i'm not gonna sit there and spin yarns for, you know, Mr. Keeley's class. So I had a page that was like getting to my point and I just like didn't want to finish it or couldn't finish it.
So I stapled one page and handed it in and got an A.
And the teacher was like, was like, you're missing a page.
Like, I don't know if you like you can find that or whatever.
But I looked and he had like given me an A and I was like, oh yeah.
Okay.
Sorry.
Oh shit.
That's really smart.
Nice little hack for all the students out there.
Crazy.
Dude.
I had one of those little hacks where over the summer I had to read a book for English
class.
I want to say it was like tests of the Durbervilles.
It was? Or the Durbervilles. It was?
Or the Scarlet Letter or something.
But I had to read a book and do a book report
and mail it into my English teacher over the summer.
Did you ever have to do that?
Oh, fuck.
No.
Maybe like between 11th and 12th grade.
But here's what I did.
I didn't read the book.
And then I came,
and then I printed off the old-fashioned internet.
I printed out some like Cliff's notes, like a synopsis of it.
And I was like, I'll read this.
And then I got sick of even reading the synopsis.
I'll read this.
So I was like, I know.
My plan was to mail my letter to my English teacher with the wrong address so that the mail would come back to me,
return to sender. And then I could tell my teacher, see, I tried to mail it to you,
but it didn't work. So I wrote on. But then wouldn't you be like, okay, so you're here now,
where's the paper? And I'm like, it's gone. So wait, sorry, Tim, what, what, what did you mail?
So you mailed something to the wrong address, but was it empty?
Well, that was my problem.
I wrote the wrong, I wrote a fake address.
I wrote, uh, Mrs. Paisley, one, two, three Sycamore street.
And I didn't, and I don't know where she lived.
Uh, but I wrote like one, two, three Sycamore street, Kingston, New York.
And I didn't want the envelope to be empty.
So the papers that I folded up to put inside were the synopsis i
printed off the internet oh no i put it in there i mailed it it never came back to me oh and then
i went into school on the first day and she's like okay i'm handing back your summer work and
she handed me back the printed out synopsis with a big C minus. C minus?
That's gracious of her.
That was cool of her, C minus.
And just it synopsized the book with no insight.
But then also it didn't have a name on top or anything.
But most importantly, the mailman found her.
123 Sycamore Street.
It was just a small town thing.
And he's like, I know this person.
Small town thing.
Oh, Miss Paisley. Yeah, that's not Sycamore Street. It was just a small town thing and he's like, I know this person. Small town thing. Oh, Miss Paisley. Yeah,
that's not Sycamore Street. I know Mrs.
Paisley. Yeah, young Tim doesn't have her
dress right. Well, I'll make sure it sees Heinz
the right spot. By the way, summer reading.
Yeah, that sucks. Summer reading
fucking sucks. And why?
Why would you ever even do that to a kid?
It should be summer Fortnite. Yeah.
Yeah.
I thought it was one of you two tim i thought you were gonna
say this story do we know somebody who like i think it was in college doing a paper that they
had to email in and just didn't get it done and and wrote like you know if you like don't have
the right formatting on something it'll just be like those little boxes where the letter should be
yeah like like wingdings basically yeah somebody like typed up a whole like page of that.
Oh, that's smart.
And like sent that in.
Smart.
I was like, what?
You can't open it?
Well, I don't have any.
I deleted it or whatever it is.
Was that somebody?
I thought we knew somebody who did that.
That's clever.
I mean, that's like the modern version of what I did.
How weird that I had to print mine out and send it.
It's very archaic.
What if we went back to school like Rodney Dangerfield?
Ooh, or Adam Sandler.
Ah, yes.
Hubie himself.
Folks, that's our show.
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Oh, yeah.
We're having a lot of great times over there on the Blowout.
Now, that's a good show.
That's good.
I'm sorry.
That's an actual good show.
I'm not a podcast fan, but that show gets me.
This, whatever is going on here, this is dog shit compared to that.
Thanks for listening, everyone.
We'll see you next week.
Peace and love. What about the prescriptions for listening, everyone. We'll see you next week. Peace and love.
What about the prescriptions?
Hey, calm.
Where's Anthony?
Give it up for your boys.
Give it up for your boys.
Give it up for your boys.
Give it up for your boys