The Sloppy Boys - 27. Hemingway Daiquiri
Episode Date: April 23, 2021The guys shake up the novelist’s namesake invented at Havana’s El Floridita.HEMINGWAY DAIQUIRI RECIPE2oz/60ml White Rum1.33oz/40ml Grapefruit Juice.5oz/15ml Maraschino Liqueur.5oz/15ml Lime JuiceP...our all ingredients into a shaker with ice. Shake and strain into a double cocktail glass. Garnish with lime.Recipe via the International Bartenders Association (https://www.iba-world.com/) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love.
I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford.
Yahoo!
And Tim Kalpakis.
What is up?
And we're your hosts, the Sloppy Boys.
Hey, how's it going?
I didn't have anything. I kind of was looking at my levels and stuff on my computer. And when you said,
I'm here with my camera, that's the first thing that came out. Yahoo. Mike, you think like a
producer. You're not just here to be funny. You're looking at the levels. Oh my God. Are the levels
good? The levels are bad. That's how Lorne Michaels knew that he was a producer.
He said he had his own show, a variety show on Canadian television,
but he was watching the raw footage from his show,
and he said he noticed himself looking up, checking the lights,
and looking around at the crew, and he said,
I'm a producer, and I feel a similar thing going on with you.
He was working on the budget on camera?
Yeah. And then he on the budget on camera. Yeah.
And then he turns the camera and said,
someone should eventually base Dr. Evil on me.
Who?
Okay.
Which is weird.
Sir.
Maybe later.
Yeah, but he's a producer.
And to this day, he still looks at the lights.
He does. Well, guys we uh don't have a
lot of booze news today huh is that what i hear what you're dead hit it with the theme song What a journey.
Whoa.
I'm fully in a trance.
That was a chill ambient theme called Boo Snooze by Professor Michael Racino, PhD.
Wow.
Wait, now, so this guy, he's a sociology professor who made that.
And he asked us, if we play it on the show, can we also plug his new book, Debating the Drug War?
No.
Do we want?
No.
No, we don't.
I don't think that Dr. Dickhead gets to come on here and boss us around.
We decline your terms.
If you want to, could you pay me too?
Yeah, right.
How about this?
Folks, go out and buy that book, rip the pages out, and wipe your ass with them.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That was a very cool, that was chilled out.
It took me a second to realize it was all, was that all Tim talking?
Was that all Tim's voice?
I heard Jeff.
I thought pretty good.
Yeah, pretty good sound like Jeff.
Pretty good.
Well, I sound like that normally.
That was good.
Very inventive. And the scratching. Oh, I sound like that normally. That was good. Very inventive.
And the scratching.
Oh, made me think of the early days of hip hop.
Error, error.
Error, error.
Here is today's top booze news story.
Hey, have you guys ever been to one of the Taco Bell cantinas?
No.
Have I been to a Taco Bell?
It's one that kind of looks like old, like an old building.
They serve booze, right?
They serve booze.
And they've been kind of rolling them out.
They did them in some test markets a few years ago.
These are new.
These are new.
Well, the concept is new-ish.
And then it worked for them.
So they've been opening some up.
But there's like a flood of them opening right now.
And I heard that this very month they
opened up a new taco bell cantina in nashville tennessee right down there downtown on the honky
tonk strip and it has live music oh man a taco bell that's cool it's a taco bell that's that is
cool man i love taco bell i would eat that whoo i would eat it i would eat it i would man
if they gave it to me i would eat it i would eat every time i you guys were on a on our text chain
recently i i was like mitch have you had the queso lupa it's so good every single time i go there i
have some new concoction i'm like yep they yep, they got me again. And your point was that like, you think they can't outdo themselves or like different combinations, right? Just make
up. Yeah. Cause it was just another layer of a fried taco shell and some cheese, but it was done
in just the right way. But look at these, uh, the cantinas here, the drinks they have featured on
the alcohol menu are regular drinks. You can mix with vodka, tequila, whiskey, rum, and gin.
You can also spike any of taco bells,
signature freezes like a Baja blast.
Yeah.
Margarita freeze or blue raspberry.
Wow.
They know what they're doing.
What do you think?
Which one of these?
I think I would get a margarita freeze and spike it with tequila.
Play it safe.
I would see if they could put some of that tequila in like a like a dr pepper and see what that's like oh flaming dr pepper uh we
gotta do that flaming dr person go ahead yeah i would do that um i would do i don't really know
what baja blast tastes like i just know it's like a meme so i would say like well when in rome give
me that baja blast and put some tequila in there, I guess.
Can I admit something?
When in Baja.
I didn't know what a Baja Blast was.
What?
It's their signature Mountain Dew flavor.
Oh.
They made it?
It's exclusive to Taco Bell.
Oh.
I'll try it.
What do you think the blast part is?
Baja is a large peninsula in Mexico.
The blast?
I think it's probably like an Arctic blast.
There you go.
It's a cold,
windy blast of snow.
Yep, I think. Okay, well, any slob heads in Nashville,
maybe this summer you
pop into that music
venue and tell
us if you saw any good shows because I think that that's
where the sloppy boys, we haven't played
the American South.
We've neglected the whole middle of the country other than Chicago.
All that history.
We're going to go play at the Taco Bell.
Yeah, right there.
This is where all the big Nashville acts were discovered at the Cantina.
Jeff, I don't think that's fair.
I think Taco Bell is an institution and it really does have a history.
Oh, my God. He sounds nerdy. I don't think that's fair. I think Taco Bell is an institution and it really does have a history. Oh my God.
I don't think that's fair.
Is that it for
traditional booze news? Traditional
and then I was going to end with a movie
recommendation like I did last week
again. Well, I'm going to snake
in a little thing I have here.
It's not new as of this year.
I guess it came out last year.
I tried Pabst Hard Coffee.
Oh, what'd you think?
You guys had it? I've had.
You've had.
I thought it was okay.
It's a little thicker and milkshakier
and a little stankier than I
thought it was going to be.
But I liked it on ice.
That's kind of how you're supposed to do.
It's a, you like, you wouldn't warm that up, would you?
No, but even just even cold in the can.
I was like, not cold enough.
Not cold enough.
Michael, Michael, is that a real question?
You're going to buy a can.
You're going to go to the fridge, pick out a pack of hard coffee.
You're going to pour it into a teapot and bubble it up.
Oh boy.
That was a real question i don't do
joke questions or joke i don't really joke around at all on this podcast jesus this is all from the
heart tip well that changes a lot i really gotta rethink a few things uh but they are kind of like
a starbucks drink that you can get at like 7-eleven you know like the frappuccino like
the double shot yeah maybe it's a maybe it a general rule. Almost anything coming out of a can, if you don't like it, pour it on ice because they're always kind of too strong, too sweet, too something.
I think a general rule of Jeff is if you're going to give him a drink, put it on ice.
And put more ice if you have ice in it.
This guy, love it on ice.
The ice is nice.
I want those cubes.
Yeah, he wants the cubes.
Give me those cubes.
I can go for a tall, cold cube right now.
Yeah, frozen, cold cube of beer that you have to melt down.
Get it nice and hot.
Get it nice and warm.
And sip it oh so slightly.
Too hot.
Dump it out.
Here's my film recommendation.
Have you guys heard of a documentary called hey bartender
nay no it's from 2013 i watched it back then but the reason this is booze news is because i just
found that it's on youtube and that's the best when you when a feature-length movie is free on
youtube how's the quality uh very i mean i want to say something like 780p okay now what's the quality? Very. I mean, I want to say something like 780p.
Okay.
Now, what's the P stand for?
Pixels?
You don't want to know.
Yes.
The movie Pixels?
It's like vertical pixels.
Oh, vertical pixels.
Oh, that's interesting. This movie didn't have any horizontal pixels.
It was just one tall line.
It's a straight line, like watching a big column.
Well, this movie, I watched it back when it came out,
and it's sort
of like a document of the the cocktail revival we're documenting so it's it's a very fun rewatch
because it's the kind of thing is that's guaranteed to not age well you know it's like
kind of a bunch of young millennials being like we're making cocktails but what's great about it
is it kind of with the whole kind of hipster cocktail movement.
One of the characters is a guy, a middle-aged guy in Connecticut who owns a sports bar and he's that he's trying.
It's almost really sad.
He's trying to keep up.
He needs to rejuvenate his business.
So he like buys a fedora and starts learning about cocktails.
Anyway, it's a real time capsule.
And we're in that weird age of like
watching it eight years later is just
perfectly wrong. And it's on YouTube.
You said it's from 04?
2013.
But it's about the whole previous decade.
Sure. Well, I mean, you know, like we're
far enough removed because like we
used to be too close to 2013 that it didn't
really look like anything. Yeah. And
now there's been enough separation.
You can look back and be like,
Oh boy,
that's classic 2013.
It is so weird that that is,
I do think you need like seven years and we're now like eight that you can't
judge the decade you're in until it's just closed.
And then you're like,
remember those shoes?
Yeah.
You know,
what's weird about this current couple of years're in is like it's so distinct with
Trump and COVID
that it has like such a
calling card of a
year that I don't even know. Like 2013
I couldn't even tell you what was happening there.
Yeah, no. It's just
a gray area. That's why you gotta watch
this doc. Yes. Yes, I will.
Yes.
Well, is that it for boo snooze it certainly is
okay today's cocktail the hemingway special aka the hemingway daiquiri aka the papa doble
whoa hemingway the writer we're talking about here, this isn't like a guy who made up the drink who was also named Hemingway.
This is the guy who loved to type.
This is interesting because I'm such a Hemingway fan.
Here we go.
Such a fan of his work.
He's got such a distinct direct style.
And I was just curious if the drink is going to be direct.
Oh.
Because you think that your thing about Hemingway is you think he,
he writes one true sentence and then he builds from there.
Speaking directly and tersely with brief.
Oh,
Tim,
it's like you're reading my mind.
And then I,
and Mike,
I can just picture you taking a sip of this thing and going,
this is,
this tastes nothing like his writing.
This is,
this tastes not like page nor ink.
Page or Gordon.
Watch yourself.
This doesn't remind me of a book.
If anything, it reminds me of water.
Have you guys, I'm assuming you haven't had it, but have you heard of this?
I have not had.
Not had.
Well. Not heard. Not had, not had. Not had. Well.
Not heard.
Not had, not heard.
I'm not even really sure what daiquiri is, I'm sad to say.
I thought I did, but I don't.
Well, everyone thinks daiquiri is a big old milkshake like a strawberry daiquiri or a Bud Light out of office can that is flavored like strawberry daiquiri.
of office can that is flavored like strawberry.
But the original daiquiri that was invented in Cuba is just rum, sugar, lime.
Very simple.
And that was a thing that existed 100 years ago in Cuba.
And hey, it's on the IBA list,
so we're going to get to it eventually.
But this drink at a bar
restaurant in Havana, Cuba
called La Floradita.
They took the original daiquiri
and they turned it into the frozen daiquiri
with some
chip dice and stuff. That's what I'm
used to. Yes, yes, yes. And that was a big
hit. The owner, this
guy Constantino, had a big
hit by making those frozen daiquiris. And then
one day Ernest Hemingway walked in and he tasted that daiquiri and he said, double the rum,
lose the sugar. Right away, sir. I like this dude. Double the rum because he's a tough guy,
lose the sugar because he was secretly diabetic and couldn't
have sugar but he was so macho yeah i don't think that i think that um f scott fitzgerald like had
tuberculosis and nobody and never told anybody i think during that era it was a sign of weakness
so you just kind of were like take the sugar out i'm fine so they started making the Papa Doble Because Papa Hemingway
Double, which was
Just no sugar and double
The rum, but then eventually
What do you mean Papa Hemingway?
Is that what they called him? That's his nickname when he was old
He had a big white beard
I guess I hadn't heard that
So a Papa Doble was just
A double of rum with lime?
Yes And chipped ice At the time A Papa Doble was just a double of rum with lime? Yes.
And chipped ice at the time.
Very, very dry and a bit too intense for people,
but they did want to honor old Papa.
So they kept it on the menu,
but this bartender, Constantino,
he changed it over the years to soften it a little bit. He added grapefruit
and he added maraschino liqueur. Maraschino liqueur, some people say. What do you guys say?
I say maraschino, but I'm a plebe.
Damn, I thought you were going to say you were an expert on how to say that word.
Maraschino, because it's in a sort of a shiny jar.
So for no reason, they added the grapefruit and the maraschino.
Hemingway never had that,
but they wanted to have his sugarless version on the menu.
And then that got popular.
That bar is still in Havana today,
La Floridita,
and you can still go drink that.
And the current recipe is two ounces of rum,
ideally light white rum,
an ounce and a third of grapefruit juice,
half an ounce maraschino liqueur,
like for example, Luxardo or one of those,
half an ounce fresh lime juice,
pour all ingredients into a shaker with ice.
Shake.
Hey, we're back to the shakers.
I love them.
Strain into a double cocktail glass.
Oh, what the hell
is a double cocktail glass?
Served up? Served up.
I think a double cocktail glass is one of the
bigger martini glasses.
Ah. I might put in mine
into a rocks glass. Yeah, Tim, when I hear
served up, my face gets red.
Yeah, I can tell i'm
looking at you i need to cool it down with cubes see this is what i was talking about before he
loves ice he loves ice now you don't think they called it cuba because they had ice cubes there
and they chipped them up into chipped ice i can't believe that that That just is weird. That is weird.
That's too easy.
If it is the case, I like personally kind of like it pisses me off a little bit.
Wow.
Wow.
Would making a drink make you feel better?
It would really honestly put a smile on my face.
Well, shall we?
Let's do it.
We'll be right back.
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As if that wasn't enough, he will share with you what he's learned in therapy that week,
lead you through guided meditations and affirmations to help you through your boring
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It's a great podcast. What can I say? We love Mookie. He's falling apart. It's a great podcast.
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Listen everywhere podcasts are listened to.
And remember that you are worthy with Lil Mookie B. and we're back discussing the hemingway daiquiri yes the hemingway where's he from
oak park illinois oh wow the reason i wanted to do this cocktail is because i just watched the uh
ken burns series about him and we'll drink a little drink or drink but i i wanted to do this cocktail is because I just watched the Ken Burns series about him.
And we'll drink our drink, but I wanted to tell you something funny about old Ernie.
Papa.
Papa.
I can't believe how much of this I spilled on the walk back here.
Boy.
Yeah, martini glasses are tough.
That thing's empty, man. If Jessica's trying to find me later, I'm just going to say,
follow the trail of grapefruit liquid.
Hold up here.
I can see Tim's drink.
Jeff, hold yours up.
Ding.
Oh, you've got a real dope look.
Why does mine look like this?
Did you make a Shirley Temple? it's because you went ruby
red mike you went ruby red these guys have uh like a what a pina colada looking thing and i have a
big pink cup you look like you just have a cup of red number 40 food dye i used yeah i used pink
grapefruit juice yeah that's okay okay okay that's as i as i saw yours i was like used pink grapefruit juice. Yeah, that's okay. Yeah, okay, okay. As I saw yours, I was like, was it grapefruit juice?
We were supposed to get pineapple juice.
But yours is, Mike, did you use maraschino liqueur
or did you drip maraschino cherry syrup?
Maraschino cherry syrup.
Oh, boy.
Yes!
Yes!
That's what I did.
The Discord is going to have a field day with this.
Oh, the Discord.
Hey, I got to check in with those guys.
Are we okay over there?
You got to check in with those guys.
Wow, they are not going to be happy with you.
When you were saying
maraschino liqueur,
I was like, surely he means
the thing I have here, maraschino juice. Because i was like surely he means the thing i have here maraschino juice
because i picked it up i picked it up because i we used maraschino juice and i i just got a
bottle of maraschino what is it like the trader vick kind i don't know what the hell it is it's
over the bar cart and i'm plugged into my ear pods here okay well we have vastly different
beverages but yours might be very good. You might win. All right.
Let's sip. Sips. Here we go.
Ooh.
Very, very good.
Now, Mike, I can only imagine what you're tasting right now.
I'm getting sort of a
fruity cherry bouquet.
I'm getting a little bit of a syrup
cup. Syrup.
Well, I'm getting the syrup effect.
That's such a funny drink for you to be sampling because it's also kind of a lot
of, the measurement is pretty high. So you are drinking a Shirley Temple.
Well, isn't a Shirley Temple, I did put rum in it.
There you go. Okay. Let's give our first reactions to our respective concoctions. Jeff,
what are you thinking?
It's good.
You know, I went with the picture with the recipe I was going off of was this yellow.
So I was like, I got to get real normal grapefruit juice that's not ocean spray, ruby red or whatever.
And so I got like pure unsweetened grapefruit juice and I cringed as I bought it because I was like, this is going to be tart, tart, tart.
I'm not going to like it.
Did you try any before the drink?
I did.
I took a sip as I was making it.
I was like, no, it just tastes like normal grapefruit juice.
So I am liking it, but I'm I am noticing like, yeah, that maraschino liqueur really does have its own taste.
Yeah, it's it's an interesting one.
You know, on the grapefruit front, I was just thinking that when you're buying grapefruit juice, you're like, should I get the normal white, yellow stuff or should I get ruby red?
And when we were kids, ruby red was all the rage.
But with an actual grapefruit, I bought a real grapefruit and I juiced it and it was pink inside. And I don't think I've ever had a yellow or a white grapefruit fruit before.
I've only had the juice.
You haven't?
I haven't either.
But I think I have heard of white grapefruit.
I think that's a thing.
Now, Mike, one year for Lent, you gave up your mom's grapefruit for breakfast.
I have to give up something, not just for breakfast, anytime.
Anytime.
Because I would have it for a snack before bed.
I would get grapefruit.
But it was specifically the way that your mom prepared it
and sprinkled sugar on it for you.
Yeah, anyone could do her style, but I just said, from her?
Yeah.
No, I got to abstain this for 40 days.
I remember at that time, a lot of people were trying to do
the Janet Hanford style, too.
Yeah, yeah.
And they didn't get
they didn't get just a thick coating of sugar on the top the way she did um michael tell us
how is that drink well first when i before we step off to me what what is this what does yours
taste like what uh any comparisons in the real world it's pretty complex and it tastes kind of
fancy right jeff yeah it's like it's just that maraschino makes it complicated.
Otherwise, it would be great for juice and rum.
What does that taste like, the maraschino?
So basically, maraschino, I think it's from Croatia
and then Luxardo is an Italian-based brand that makes it.
That's what we have.
It is made from cherries, but it's not just the cherry my i could
be way wrong because i often am but i thought i heard somebody say in passing that um this liqueur
it has like the cherries and the leaves and the stems and like oh that's what it tastes like yeah
so it's earthy then it It tastes like a cherry tree.
Yeah.
Ah,
watch out George Washington.
You don't get to come around.
I got a batten down the hatches so he doesn't come in here chopping.
I've chopped your tree. That wooden toothed fuck.
Hey,
Hey,
Hey,
Hey,
Watch Hamilton.
Just to watch Hamilton.
Do you guys want to pause while I go watch Hamilton on Disney Plus and I'll come back
I have time
I'd actually like to see that
yeah so
that sounds interesting the earthy flavor
this is just like
must be good it tastes like
a fruit I don't taste the rum
at all it just tastes like
a fruit juice it's great
Hawaiian punch yeah I mean it does taste like a fruit juice. It's great. Hawaiian punch. Yeah, I mean, it does
taste like a Hawaiian punch with, and there's
rum in there. It's a rum punch, like a
swizzle or something like that.
That really bums me out, because I saw
the maraschino on my bar cart.
You look like you couldn't be happier.
It's so funny
to be sipping on an electric red
drink, but yeah, that really bums me out.
This is not right. Because I saw on my electric red drink, but yeah, that really bums me out. This is not right.
Because I saw on my bar cart, I was like,
okay, I got to get this drink ready.
Oh, got the maraschino.
Great.
I don't have to get like some useless thing
I'm never going to use again.
And I had an easy time finding all the other stuff.
Here we are.
But this is good.
This is good.
I'm getting like all the citrus.
Jeff, do you feel like you're kind of
have a citrusy sour thing up top and then the whole
maraschino just takes over right at the end and says, yeah, I'm a little fancy down here.
Don't forget about me.
Don't forget me.
Don't forget me.
Jeff, you mentioned the discord.
Are the discord.
Is that my is that my rep on the discord that I don't get the drinks right?
No, no, no, no, Mike.
Oh, no, no, no they uh you nail it every time
are people are is there like a whole chat room uh talking about they call you the hand man does
it get any shit together no it's more like mixologist mike he did it again oh my god the
perfect mix yes he's he's exploring her frontiers of drink making Good, good, good
I guess you are, we're following very strict resumes
and you're exploring frontiers
I'm winging it
You gotta wing it
You at home can get on the Discord by joining the Sloppy Boys Patreon
at patreon.com slash the Sloppy Boys
Oh, you have to be, that's right
You have to be a patron
of a trone to get on the D
Yes, to get into the chat rooms
You gotta be a P to get on the D, to get into the chat room you gotta be a p to get on
the d i love it i like that this is not that sweet the only i like it without the sugar maybe from
now on i use luxardo instead of sugar that stuff's pretty sweet though and sticky i know because uh
i came by your place today with a little bottle and a little funnel. And I took a little bit to bring it back to my house.
And sure enough, my hands were sticky the whole way home.
Dude, you know what I would have done if I knew it was this sticky?
I would have poured some out on my front walk so that when you came by, it was like home alone.
And you're like, Tim, I'm stuck.
And then you look up, boom. Pink can in the forehead.
You're down for the count.
And there I am praying and eating my mac and cheese.
Reading Buzz's porno magazine.
I heard that the first cut of that movie, there was like a whole middle hour where he looked at Buzz's porno.
Do you do know about that the remember
when he looks through the through buzz's chest and he picks out the picture he's like buzz's
girlfriend woof yeah that is uh somebody on the crew i think the art director's like a son son in
a wig yeah yeah because they didn't want to be mean to a you know like a little girl so they
they're like yeah you dress up.
It'll be funny.
And he looks funny.
And they did it.
And it worked.
It was fun.
They probably gave him body dysmorphia, but fine.
I'm happy it was good in their movie.
Sure, sure.
Got the laugh.
The residuals don't hurt for that young man, but whatever.
Ooh.
You know, it's good.
It's funny.
You know, I went rogue on this recipe.
For those of you who listened to the blowout,
there's some similarities that are happening with me and recipes.
You're a recipe genius.
I'm recipe genius.
So, Mike, did you...
Fuck off.
Did you...
I want to know if you...
You know how they discovered, like, silly putty?
It was an accident.
I heard Nerf was an accident.
Is it flubber?
And penicillin.
What was it?
Penicillin was an accident or antibiotics.
That's probably how they came up with the penicillin drink.
Hey,
now,
you know,
in this little mishap today,
is this a happy accident?
That's going to go on to become the drink of tomorrow.
It's fine.
The problem is I think I could get what I'm getting
out of here a number of
ways.
This taste is just like sugar and
rum
that you can't taste. But there's a rich
history of having variations on drinks.
Like we said, the Papa Doble,
you know, could be the
Papa Dumbass.
Watch it! You're quick, Tim, Papa dumb ass is you watch it.
You're quick, Tim. There's no way you could have written that ahead of time.
I wrote it. I printed it out. And then I said, wait, no, where did I put that?
I just hope Mike fucks the drink up.
Okay. So I wanted to talk about Ernest Hemingway because a funny thing happened
to me while watching this Ken Burns doc. Do you guys, uh, you know anything about him?
He's like, you know, like the macho, like he's, he's fishing and then he's skiing and
he's, he's like a bullfighting guy.
Yes.
Bullfighting is a big one.
And the reason that this new documentary is good is it, it's kind of like examining that
for the first time, they're kind of dispelling a lot of the rumors being like, oh, he may
have been kind of, uh, a lot of the rumors being like oh he may have been just kind
of uh portraying that image because of insecurity they also talk about like some kind of gender
stuff like he like in bed with women he liked for them to call him their name and and did some role
play and stuff like that they're always kind of hinting like maybe he was kind of figuring out
his sexuality but you know public facing he was almost like a Caitlyn Jenner type of thing where, you know, I remember hearing that in an interview.
It's like, oh, if I if you're going to make me be a man, I'm going to be an Olympian and be the ultimate tough guy or whatever.
So they're kind of they're in this documentary.
They're kind of insinuating that about Hemingway and a lot of different things.
And just like the man behind the myth.
But is this,
is this one of those Ken Burns documentaries?
That's like many long parts.
Yeah.
It's like six hours.
Yeah.
Jeez.
So there's a lot of,
what is the guy going to make digestible content for once in his life?
Yeah.
He's like the guy,
the only guy who does that.
Yeah.
Clickable shareable bites.
These aren't shareable.
I can't say watch this eight part thing, my friend.
I mean, have you tried to watch Ken Burns' TikToks?
It's like he barely gets to even like the first sentence.
Oh my God.
Peter Coyote gets maybe two words out.
Anyway, so I kind of was wishing there was more booze talk in the in the documentary there was some fun
stuff like world war ii ended and he went to the bar and had 50 martinis and and uh you know because
he's like a big over a year uh in one big cup come on um a thing that made me laugh is he calls
depression black ass and he had like diagnosed depression so he'd be like i got the black ass
bad today lots of funny things but here here was my main takeaway he's tough right he's he's
bullfighting he's doing all this stuff hey he's like us but it's a lot it's a long time he's like
us it's a long time ago you don't hear him you never hear his voice so i'm like five and a half
hours into watching this tough guy be all macho and And then he wins a Nobel Prize and he grants a TV interview.
Someone like comes to his house in Cuba to interview him.
And I had never heard his voice before.
And I brought you guys this little clip.
This is real, by the way.
A lot of times I said a bullshit on the show, but this is a real.
What is what era is this? Like what? when did he live and die 1954 so he he's in his mid-50s just
won a nobel prize and a tv guy comes to interview him now pick more importantly picture me on my
couch watching this macho man thinking this guy's a real badass and uh they kind of casually
mentioned before this interview, they're like,
also, by the way, he he had a lot of anxiety about public speaking. So he had never really spoken in public before. But, you know, when he when he won the Nobel Prize, he did do a few
interviews and then they play this. Could you tell me a short description of what your new novel is about? The book that I am writing on at present is about Africa, its people, in the park that I know them, Comma. Comma. Oh. And the changes in Africa since I was there last period.
Whoa.
He asked for the questions in advance.
He pre-wrote his answers and he had a cue card on the floor and he's reading the cue card and he said the commas in the period.
He's reading the cue card and he said the commas in the period.
Weird.
And like,
if you're, if you're like a writer and you know language and how to write so well,
you know that you don't say those things.
I should hope that the whole time he was writing novels and putting commas
there that he didn't think that people were reading it to themselves and
be like,
comma.
Yeah.
I thought it was like,
he was talking about,
I thought he was talking about karma,
but no, he did say, he said karma comma and period now he eventually you know um he like battled with mental illness and was depressed and bipolar and alcoholic and had
concussions and stuff so some of those could be contributing but that's not the way this
documentary they didn't say like oh here he was on his deathbed.
They were just like, he was nervous to talk.
But if you're like so nervous to talk on TV, he probably didn't even know like what he was saying when he said comma and period.
I have no idea.
He's probably never even watched TV, you know, and he was just like, couldn't picture what it was that he was supposed to be doing.
So he was just reading his pre-written responses.
Could he have been like, he was a big drinker.
Could he have been like drunk too?
Probably.
He was an all day kind of drinker at that point.
They mentioned him in another round.
They mentioned him.
He would drink all day and then stop at eight o'clock.
So he would be able to get up the next day and continue to write and drink.
And drink.
Yeah, his schedule,
they touch on that he always wrote in the morning
and then he was done by midday
and then he just had a fun afternoon.
He'd like goof around with his kids
and then he'd walk to a nearby bar,
have some of these daiquiris
and then cut himself off at 8.
So he was like a functional alcoholic.
Who said write drunk, edit sober?
Was that Hemingway?
That was me.
I told you that.
Bukowski, Michael.
Don't do that.
Don't ever do that.
Write sober, edit sober.
It looks like it is.
Get drunk when the book sells.
It looks like it's falsely attributed to Hemingway often.
I don't know who actually said it.
When I was taking UCB classes, we had our teacher brought in a friend who was a professional comedy writer who you guys would know, but I'm not going to say his name.
And then my teacher was like, so tell the class any tricks you have for writing.
And he was like, well, you want to write a sketch.
You do is you go to a bar and, well, you want to write a sketch. You do is you
go to a bar and you get really drunk and you write the sketch. And then you wake up the next morning,
you don't remember the sketch. So you go to a coffee shop and you drink coffee while you're
sober up and then you read it and you rewrite the sketch. And he's like, do you remember the sketch?
You got to start from square one. do it again right you shall never remember
what you wrote but um then he walked out of the room and my teacher had to be like okay so i should
mention that he's an alcoholic and that's his process but hemingway man you've done it so so so he invented this
oh michael oh man so it's two shots of rum i don't know what's going on that's why i think
that the uh the recipe says two shots of rum comma lime, period.
Period.
Well, shall we do another round?
Yes.
Yeah.
We shall.
We shall do it now.
Off we go.
Tim, what did you say a real daiquiri is?
Sugar and lime and rum?
Yep.
All right.
I'll try that.
Great.
Nice. um yep all right i'll try that great nice and we're back talking our final thoughts on the Hemingway Daiquiri.
You know what I was thinking before, when Tim said he was in his mid-50s and 54.
So this is a guy who's in his mid-50s, in the mid-50s.
Wow.
It must be convenient when somebody asks, like, how old are you?
And you're like, what year is it?
54.
54.
Hey, how old are you?
Check the calendar.
Don't bother me.
Well, that's going to take more time for me to do.
You seem like a tough person to be around.
Yeah, you think I'm tough, but wait till you hear me in an interview, comma.
Ooh, this is pretty good.
So I made, I did a shot of, no, an ounce of rum, half ounce of lime juice, and I did a half a teaspoon of sugar.
It's pretty good.
Look at you, daiquiri boy.
That's a true daiquiri.
Mm-hmm.
I don't know if the measurements are right for a true daiquiri, but.
Have you ever heard this word?
I was watching a YouTube video with the bartender at La Floridita in Havana, Cuba, and he was making this drink.
And he said – he called this drink the daiquiri salvaje.
And he goes, you know, daiquiri salvaje, like that would translate to the Dickie daiquiri.
Dickie.
And I looked it up and salvajeaje means wild but then i was like there
were results for have you ever heard someone use the word dicky as like kooky like no i've heard
daffy like dickish like behaving like a dick maybe because i also then i couldn't find it like on
urban dictionary or anything but then i saw an article say that was like, it's called the Dickie Dankery for obvious reasons.
I was like, no, that's the very reason I'm looking at this article.
What you have to do, you have to, well, you have to know a lot about the history of words and you look at the entomology of a word and really you can.
Oh, gee, I think my, I don't know if we got that.
Did your internet cut out?
I think my internet all cut out.
I think we might have lost that bit.
Oh, no.
My mind is blown, Mike.
I didn't know you knew all that stuff.
Yeah.
Hey, you pick it up when you read this much.
It was such a good idea for you to say
we have to look at the etymology.
I don't care if we ever get into what the etymology is,
but wisdom.
No, I did, but I did,
but my mic must have cut out or
something again i was listening the whole time yeah yeah well well how should we rate these
things i love it did you guys do variations on your uh second round i did a bit of a suicide
because i fucked up on my first attempt i have have now learned to use the Jack Schramm method of always adding the smaller amounts of liquid first.
Yes.
And I once again got scrambled with the amounts of what?
And I put too much Luxardo and I had to start over on my first round.
So then for my second round, I just took the accident drink and I'm drinking that and it's
too sweet.
Too sweet.
You know what you do is you put in the first ingredient and hey, maybe you put in a little
too much and then you put in the second ingredient and you're like, oh, maybe a little too much
of that.
You keep adding until you get a nice filled cup.
Then your cocktail shaker is overflowing and you're still pouring liquor on top.
Well, what do you think?
What do you think?
I'll go with mine.
I was fine with mine.
This thing's good too, but you guys aren't drinking this.
The listener at home probably isn't drinking this.
You try it.
You at home probably isn't drinking this. You try it. You at home try it. If you are...
If you made the same mistake that me
made...
Oh boy, here we go.
This is the linguist.
This is our entomologist. No, I spent so much energy
explaining the etymology of dickish to
dickweed to you or whatever we're talking about.
Yes.
If you've made a mistake on this drink,
let us know.
Not in the Discord.
In real life.
Engage with your fellow man.
Yeah, stop looking at your phones and go talk to people for once.
Go tell your neighbor.
Tell them about the podcast that takes a deep dive into the drinks that you love.
Yeah, and get them to be a patron.
Jeff, I've been meaning to bring that up. We start every episode with you saying a deep dive into the drinks that you love. Yeah. And get them to be a patron. Jeff, I've been meaning to bring that up.
We start every episode
with you saying
a deep dive
into the drinks that you love.
But nine times out of ten,
we're like,
we've never heard of the drink.
We never had the drink.
We're making the drink wrong.
The drink's ashy.
Tim, this would be
a great thing to bring up
when we're not
fucking recording.
Okay, just,
I won't remember it off air,
so I'm just going to say,
what if it's the drinks you're gonna love we'll consider this but you might not love them too all i ask is that
it's filed and considered i'll run it up the flagpole see what happens great okay i think
that this drink is good i I'd order it again.
Not my favorite.
It's a welcome stop on the tour.
Good, good.
I would make it,
I think I would make this to impress people.
If I had people over and I said,
you guys want some daiquiris?
And they say, yeah.
They say, how about some Hemingway special daiquiris?
And they say, oh, Tim,
you're like really cool. one tastes like the the cherry
tree but not the cherry the bark our favorite part out of bark it's also a good drink too because
you say hemingway and people like you know i think i read some of him in high school we had to read
for whom the bell tolls oh yeah i read well you know he used to bullfight that was a big deal
that was a big deal for him.
It gives you just like a little bit
of bullshit to talk about and then the night's
over and you can go home. Yeah, and you say,
everybody out. Thank you.
Don't let the door hit you or the
good Lord split you.
So you guys are liking.
Good. Good. Great. We like. We've had and we like well that's the end
of the episode nothing else to do here i think i'm gonna i'm gonna pivot i'm gonna pivot oh no
i was gonna i hope was hoping you'd go no mike i got a quiz stop the show i have a quiz stop the
show i have a fucking quiz for once i I have something. It's finally my big moment.
Now, Michael, you brought up a Hemingway book just a moment ago.
For Whom the Bell Tolls.
For Whom the Bell Tolls.
For Who the Bell Told.
For Who the Bell Tolls of.
Tolstoy.
Mike, when you uttered those...
One, two, three words.
When you uttered those five simple words...
Yeah, they're very simple.
That's what his writing was like.
Did you know that you had stumbled into the quiz?
No!
Oh, I was hoping.
No, no.
When he uttered those words,
I did say a little prayer that that was the quiz.
That's right.
It's the Ernest Hemingway quiz.
Holy shit.
Are you going to ask what he calls depression?
Because he calls it the black ass.
No, Tim.
Damn.
I'm going to read you 10 titles, and you have to tell me if it's a work by Ernest Hemingway.
Oh, interesting.
Or the episode title from X-Men, the animated series.
Wow. That's a good one, Jeff.
Now, I mean, I know these X-Men episodes like the back of my hand.
So process of elimination, I should be able to figure it out.
Yes. Process of illumination.
And Mike knows the Hemingway.
Front and back.
Mike's the Hemingway guy.
Right.
My God.
Right now he's doing the sign of the cross every time we say Hemingway's name.
Question number one.
Cold vengeance.
X-Men.
Hemingway.
X-Men. Yes! That's with the long pause jeff weary of gene and cyclops's relationship wolverine travels to the
arctic where he encounters a vengeful saber tooth oh i like picturing the traveling part was you
know wolverine sitting on a train for a long time well You'll see that there's kind of a commonality between the
drama in these names.
Number two.
The Old Man and the Sea.
Hemmers. Hemingway.
And that one's Michael.
What? He got it first.
I have a delay.
It's a last minute.
The short novel is the tragic story
of a Cuban fisherman and the giant Marlin.
He kills and loses number three,
red Dawn,
Emmy X-Men,
Tim.
It is X-Men Colossus finds his hometown destroyed by Omega red.
His hometown.
Again,
just the idea of Colossus having a town.
He does.
He's from Russia.
Very good,
Michael.
Okay.
Number four,
to have and have not.
Hemingway.
X-Man.
Correct,
Tim.
It is Hemingway.
So these are just going X-Men,
then Hemingway.
No.
Well,
hey,
if you want to gamble on that pattern,
be my guest.
I do.
An honest man is forced into running contraband
between Cuba and Key West
as a means of keeping his crumbling family afloat.
I haven't read it, but I think that's the one
where he was trying to keep up with socialist writing
in the 30s because it was the cool thing
during the Depression, and he was like,
I'll write a common working man story.
And everyone's like, this sucks.
Write about that bullfighting.
Write about Marlon.
Number five, The Garden of Eden.
Hemingway.
X-Men.
Michael, very good.
Garden of Eden.
I did that because I knew.
The last uncompleted novel of Ernest hemingway published posthumously in 1986
charts the life of a young american writer and his glamorous wife who fall for the same woman
okay but to be fair if we were to get into the etymology and stuff like that
the garden of eden is a story from the old testament of the bible
tim do you want a half point i'll'll have a half side point. I'll
decide whether I'm going to use it later.
Okay, great. It's funny
also that he's kind of going with the
Cyclops has a town thing.
Ernest Hemingway's first name is Ernest.
He hated it.
He hated it? Ernest goes to
camp. There's Ernest of
Ernest goes to camp fame.
Making a mockery of him.
It's the dorkiest name of all.
No, he hated it.
He didn't want to be called, you know, everyone called him Papa and stuff.
And then like, yeah, when he was having sex, he wanted to be called Catherine.
And then he would call a woman Ernest.
It's kind of the old Timothee Chalamet and Armie Hammer.
And we all know that Armie Hammer has normal sexuality.
Continue, Jeff. Number six, Savage Land, Strange Heart. army hammer and we all know that army hammer has normal sexuality continue jeff number six
savage land strange heart x-men uh that's a tag folks i don't know what to tell you i heard those
clear as a bell mike good game god yes we all know that's the two-parter which storm finds herself
trapped on a prehistoric island number seven seven. Now that sounds prehistoric island.
That sounds X-Men-y.
It doesn't have hometowns or travel or anything.
Seven.
True at first light.
Hemingway.
X-Men.
That's a Hemingway, Michael.
That's a Hemmer.
The fuck?
That's the dramatic fictional chronicle
of his final African safari.
Ah, yes.
Number eight. One man'sari. Ah, yes. Number eight.
One man's worth.
X-Men.
Tim.
Now, Tim, I know you...
Did you watch X-Men or are you just
doing good?
I've never seen X-Men.
For real?
No, I know the theme song.
You're halfway there.
I've read Hemingway's novels, but I've never read his short story.
So I'm hoping that when you say his name, that it's not a short story.
One Man's Worth is a glimpse at an alternate world without Xavier, wherein the X-Men are led by Magneto.
Number nine.
Old Soldiers.
X-Men. X-Men. That's Tim. That's X-Men. Number nine. Old Soldiers. X-Men.
X-Men. Damn. Damn. Damn.
That's Tim. That's X-Men. Damn it!
A flashback episode. Wolverine fights alongside
Captain America in World War II.
Episode is written by Len Wein,
Wolverine creator and co-creator
of Swamp Thing.
And brother of Dean Wein.
Now, Jeff, I haven't
been keeping track of the score, but do I
have a snowball chance in
Havana to win this thing?
A chip dice
daiquiris chance.
Mike, you got four
points.
I must have 400.
And Tim has six and a half.
I haven't decided
whether I'm going to use that half yet, though.
Right.
So I don't know if there's a path to victory for you here, Mike,
but I would appreciate it if you stayed in the game.
I'll give it my best shot.
You've got a fighter's spirit.
Number 10, Death in the Afternoon.
Hemingway.
God damn, Hemingway.
Yeah, that's Hemingway.
That's the T-man. He gotway. That's the T-man. He got it.
That's the T-man. He knows
Hemingway and he knows his
cartoons. 1932.
An impassioned look at the sport of bull
fighting. Now, what made you pick
X-Men? Jeff, did you know that they had
these titles that were kind of
Hemingway-esque? Yes, I did.
You little...
You're mad at that.
I was always...
I was trying to think of, like,
what would be the other thing, you know?
It's like, is it Hemingway or whatever?
And you know what I was going to do
was Dolly Parton songs
because they both have islands in the stream.
Oh, that would have been the trick one.
Funky.
That would have been the trick.
Every quiz has to have that old trick one. The funny trick one. Funky. That would have been the trick. Every quiz has to have that old trick one.
The funny trick one.
Well, guys, that's a quiz.
I hope you enjoyed it.
And Tim, you got bragging rights, dude.
Great.
And just so you know,
like Mike,
I'm not even using
my side half point.
I know, I know.
I just keep it in my pocket.
It's going to roll over
and I'll use it in a future quiz.
Shit.
Well, I got a quiz for you guys.
It's more of a survey question.
Who is, who do you think is more of a hunk?
Chris Hemsworth or Ernest Hemingway?
Hemingway or Hemsworth?
Hemingway versus Hemsworth.
Now is Chris Thor?
No, he's the nerdy guy from Ghostbusters.
That nerd.
Yeah.
Versus the bullfighting Hemingway,
not the one who's on that talk show that we listen to.
You know, I hate to do it, but I got to go.
I think Thor is a bigger hunk.
It's possible.
But he's not Thor.
He's when he's the nerdy guy oh god i'll go hemingway
nice nice and me i will always vote brad pitt
mike a secret option all along all brad pitt well why don't we wrap it up hold on mike hold
on a second uh sure i was saying something about how Brad Pitt doesn't
age, but I also want to make another point of
Paul Rudd?
You're telling me
that his birthday
comes and goes every
year?
Hey, I love
Paul Rudd. Everybody loves Paul Rudd.
I love the gif of him from the hot ones saying, Hey, look at us.
Maybe my favorite gif.
I thought like, I didn't know what hot one was,
hot ones was when I first saw that. And I thought he was drunk.
It's just that he's like crying tears of like hot sauce.
He's steamed up from chicken.
But I haven't seen what's the, oh, the hot ones. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
It's just, you know, I don't even, what's the, oh, the hot ones. Yes, yes, yes, yes. It's just,
you know,
I don't even know
the context
for the meme usage.
I guess if you're proud
of someone
or you think
they've come a long way,
you post that GIF
and it's just him saying,
hey, look at us.
It's very funny.
Rudd, you done it.
And-
Yeah, he's fun.
A message to you,
Paul Rudd,
you're very kind and polite to me the time I drove you to the airport when I was a production assistant.
Hey, Rudd, if you're hearing this, come on the pod and defend yourself.
Defend yourself against the outlayers.
I was a jerk to Tim.
I think you're a nice guy and I love your gif.
That's our show.
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slash the sloppy boys thanks for listening we'll see you next week what is up see ya