The Sloppy Boys - 3. Mint Julep
Episode Date: November 6, 2020The guys muddle their way into your hearts!MINT JULEP Bourbon Whiskey - 2oz/60ml Fresh Mint - 4 sprigs Powdered Sugar - 1 tsp Water - 2 tspIn Julep Stainless Steel Cup, gently muddle the mint with sug...ar and water. Fill the glass with cracked ice, add the Bourbon and stir well until the cup frosts. Garnish with mint sprig.Recipes via the International Bartenders Association (https://iba-world.com/) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys
where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love
I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford
Yo!
And Tim Kalbagas
Thanks for tuning in
And we're your hosts, the Sloppy Boys
How's it going everybody? Very good, good to be back on the pod And Tim Kalbagas. Thanks for tuning in. And we're your hosts, the Sloppy Boys.
How's it going, everybody?
Very good.
Good to be back on the pod.
It feels good.
Oh, yeah. Welcome back.
Love the pod.
I'll be honest, Tim.
I'm a little freshly pissed off.
Oh, boy.
You guys know my apartment.
I live in an apartment.
Yeah.
Also, we should say that you're a pretty mild-mannered guy.
Oh, yeah.
Usually.
Oh, yeah.
For you to get pissed.
The mildest.
Yeah.
And so I did laundry today, and imagine my shock to discover that some bonehead in my
building washed their fucking dog bed in the washing machines.
No, no, no.
No, no.
Picking wily dog hairs off all my clothes.
Disgusting.
Was his, like, he took the bed out, but just all the hair was left in?
Yeah, just like when my load was done, I pulled it out and like put it in the dryer and I could just see all this like gross hair.
That's a file that under neighbor, no thank you.
That's a party file, man.
That's no good. Yeah, it was all that a party was going on.
Oh yeah, yeah, big party.
Now.
In the laundry room.
It's no good.
Yeah.
It was at a party was going on. Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Big party.
Now in the laundry room.
To make it up to you,
that's because this happened.
Next time you go to do your laundry,
you're going to open up that machine and find the load in there is some of my
sexy briefs.
What?
Yeah.
I'm going to leave some of my sexy briefs and some of my sexy boxer shorts,
and then you'll have a pleasant surprise.
Whoa.
He's making you feel good about your laundry.
I was like, whoa, these are Tim's.
Yeah, these are better than a dog bed.
These are some BBDs.
My God, I thought the streak in the back
was stitched in.
It's so thick.
Hey, you guys know what I wear underneath my clothes?
I wear BBDs and beefy tees.
BBTs for a Timmy D.
Are they still making the Hanes beefy tea?
Oh, are they ever?
I was just on a Zoom.
We had a party for a friend of ours that was like some one of the her friends made up like a bunch of shirts for us.
They had her name on it and like a print.
And she used the cheapest shirts you get, which were like the haynes thick like beefy t1 and it was one of those
ones where we all put them on for the zoom to surprise her and uh you could just see everyone
kind of like pulling at it the whole time and like moving around you can see the hard creases
yes yeah well tell her next time get some g Gildans. Get yourself a Gildan.
Nice blend.
Get yourself a Gildan.
Get Gildan or get out.
What are you doing this weekend?
I'm getting a Gildan.
Sorry, Jeff, go ahead.
You wanted to talk about we're back, but I just wanted to say we're going to Gildan.
Let's wrap up the Gildan segment.
Any last thoughts on Gildan?
All right, let me do five more minutes.
We're back in familiar
territory here uh away from zombie land we're back into some drinks that we can make yeah baby
yeah we got a good we got a make a very manageable drink today that i guess what have never had
before oh hey me neither that's part of the show it's part of the appeal and i tell you what
well why don't we get through it?
I'll tell you what the ingredients are
before I sort of talk about how I feel about it.
I think it's cool.
I think it's sort of postmodern.
I feel like I'm watching Memento.
This?
Yeah, because you kind of like,
is he going to do the ingredients?
Is he going to talk about if he's had the drink?
I got to balance it all in my head.
Multiple timelines.
That is.
I hope the audience isn't finding this as confusing as we are.
There's no audience.
So, guys, I want to talk about this drink with you two now and then hundreds of thousands of people a day from now.
Sure.
Picture it.
The year is 1938.
You're sitting in the shady
grandstand at Churchill Downs,
home of the Kentucky
Derby.
Oh my god, I feel
like I'm there.
I can smell the air.
Smells like horse
shit. I'm
wafting the horse shit toward my face with a paper fan.
My word, that stinks like horse shit.
You're wearing a brand new seersucker suit and a straw boater hat.
The big race for the roses, the Kentucky Derby, has just been run.
The winner, a horse named Lauren.
Spelled L-A-W-r-i-n lauren second and third horses named horses named dauber and can't wait and did you bet on the trifecta you did not oh you placed You placed your struggling family's life savings on El Luto.
Oh, no.
El Luto.
Things are looking bad for you, real bad.
Wife and three daughters' hospital bills have formed a tidal wave, poised to crash down on your foreclosed home.
Oh, I should have bet on Laura.
Laurel? Lauren!
Lauren!
Damn it!
Your world is about...
Your world is just about over.
And then you look down in your hand and remember,
you still have half a mint julep left in your hot little hand.
All right.
You take a sip and say,
Well, I might be headed to the poorhouse
on a fast track to the early grave,
but my sweet lord,
this drink is something surely set from the heavens above.
It's a mint julep.
And you love it.
Wow.
Wow, I feel like...
I mean, bring yourself back to reality. I don't even need to drink it. That's it. I feel like, I mean, bring yourself back to reality.
I don't even need to drink it.
That's it.
No.
Thanks for listening folks.
Check out our Patreon.
Look for the ingredients somewhere online.
Why did they make a movie at a Seabiscuit?
They should have made this movie.
Wouldn't this have been a cool movie opening scene?
Yeah.
I'm picturing a tracking shot.
Yeah.
Ooh,
I like that.
Yeah.
I like,
cause I was was that's
better when i'm thinking which is a still on sticks shot oh no oh no long shot oh god we're
not talking cowboy this isn't uh waist up this is toes to head toes to the nose toes to the nose. Toes to the nose. No eyes?
Well, I hope you didn't say no ice because that would not be welcome in the drink.
Why don't I go through what the ingredients are?
Hit us with it.
We're starting off with two ounces of bourbon whiskey.
Then we got four fresh mint sprigs.
Love that word, sprigs.
One teaspoon, the small one, of powdered sugar.
And two teaspoons teaspoons water.
Here's the method.
In the julep stainless steel cup.
So I was reading about this.
Traditionally, it's like a stainless steel cup or like a pewter cup.
I don't think anyone has those anymore.
I don't.
And if you do, tweet us.
Tweet us up.
Just say, I have the cup.
Yeah, I have the cup. Tweet us up.
Here's the tweet up.
Here's the cup. Something like that. Maybe show a picture.
Anyway, so you take your cup.
I used a glass.
I used a high glass. Gently muddle
the mint with sugar and water.
Fill the glass with
cracked ice. Add the bourbon
and stir well.
That sounds good.
And what are we going to garnish with?
Mint.
More mint.
More mint.
A sprig.
Yeah.
So you do some muddling, and then you also double dip
with a little sprig of that.
Yeah.
I'll say this.
Throw the spriggy in there.
I've never made one, but I drank one of these at Santa Anita Racetrack
because I thought it would be the appropriate thing to order.
And they do really pile on that ice.
So, folks, go nuts with the ice.
It's kind of fun to have a giant mound of ice.
The pictures I saw looked like a snow cone type thing.
Yeah.
Well, it seems like a very easy thing to make that I'm surprised more people don't get into it.
Yeah.
Well, it's kind of been supplanted by the mojito, I feel.
Oh.
There's only room for one mint drink. Because, you know, you're going to muddle all that mint. People are been supplanted by the mojito, I feel. Oh, there's only room for one mint drink.
Because, you know, you're going to muddle all that mint.
People are going to ask for a mojito.
I think that it's also, when we're talking about bourbon on the rocks,
a lot of people who like bourbon just stop there,
and they think, why am I going to put stuff into my favorite drink?
But for me, I think I'm going to like this very much.
I think so, too. I think you're gonna love did you did you uh did you look at like what the difference between bourbon whiskey is and uh
tennessee whiskey there's like kentucky bourbon and then tennessee it's a um yeah it's it's like
a barrel aging thing bourbon has that more like a darker caramelly warmer taste because it's it's in oak barrels and uh my i mean i'm way off
here probably rye whiskey i think rye whiskey has that kind of like a little bit of a sharper
taste and is a little bit lighter maybe not barrel aged as long more like uh that's more like like
your irish whiskey more of a step towards scch almost. It seemed, yeah, like Kentucky whiskey and Tennessee whiskey, which was a distinction
I didn't know about, is kind of the same thing.
Bourbon whiskey has to be 51% corn, but if it gets up to 80, it's no longer bourbon.
It becomes corn whiskey.
But yeah, in the barrel for two years.
But the big thing is in Tennesseeessee whiskey they like sift it through
maple wood or something like that yeah like maple wood fire i'm a little worried about that i didn't
know about that corn limitation because i mainly have just corn i had a i got a can of uh green
giant kernels around tim around the summertime i'm thinking mid to late august with the amount
of corn on the cob you eat you could be considered a bourbon whiskey.
Yeah.
And hey, I'm going to need some toothpicks if you're going to come on.
Oh, the floss.
This is one of those drinks, too, as I was looking it up.
It was one of those things where it's like, where did it start?
Oh, well, it kind of started here and then started here.
And this guy gave it a name.
And this guy, Henry Clay, went to went to washington dc and said he likes
his best with bourbon okay so the mint julep is bourbon he went to washington dc stood on the
floor of the senate and proclaimed the liquor he liked but it was it's like again it was at a hotel
at the round robin bar at the something hotel i've got it here and i wrote it down somewhere
as long as you have it written down somewhere so when you need it
you can get it. That's good.
Should we drink these things?
Yeah, let's get into it. Let's make them.
See you on the other side.
We'll be right back.
we're back in all right how'd it go real good well well i think i over muddled i put in the cubes and then i just pulverized it pulverized the shit out of it well you're backwards there
you gotta muddle before the cubes there duddy yeah you do um other than that Other than that, looks pretty good. Looks like a swamp.
I had mine in a big tall glass
and it wasn't filling it up enough. It looked
kind of weird, so I put it in a shorty.
Oh, now it looks great.
My ice had problems. I had
ice problems. I like it.
I like that sprig.
I just learned this, that if you
break up a sprig a little
bit to express it it then it smells more
so when you lean in to
take a sip that's kind of nice
you know those guys like clap basil together
when they cook yes spank the basil
yeah I thought they were just
clapping because they were pumped amped up
like I'm so happy I'm a cook
I
did a nice gentle muddle because I made
that mistake before where i really
ground the shit out of it and then your straw is getting blocked with little pebbles the whole
time because you've you've pulverized are you like pushing the uh mint down in there
in the the garnish mint no well because there's mint in the i gotta say that the mint that i
muddled is really not coming through that much i I mean, I used a maker's mark bourbon and knob creek. Yeah. Bullet over here.
And I think I am feeling what you said earlier about like, I feel like I just kind of ruined my whiskey.
Well, because yeah, I mean, bullet is, that's kind of toward the top shelf, right?
That's kind of a nice bourbon there.
Lots of people just drink that and say, hey, I'm done for the night.
Well, also like mint
feels like a strange thing to add to this kind of smoky whiskey flavor i mean i do like when i think
of uh when i think back to that beautiful picture that hanford drew for us of the sitting at the
kentucky derby on a hot summer day there is something nice to this giant mound of ice and
that mint sprig smell to kind of make it fresh because i i always kind
of think of bourbon as a you know it's a it's a kind of a cozy drink for me yes i drink i drink
old fashions in the in the winter so the mint kind of livens it up a little bit i was surprised that
this wasn't like i thought a mint julep was like a gin drink. When I heard it was bourbon, I had to like reread the.
Yeah, I at least thought it was a clear liquored drink.
And here I am with a dark whiskey.
Yeah, that's that's what I mean.
Right.
It's a it's a funny name because mint julep.
I feel like I would have just always assumed a mint julep sounds like a thing that a lady in an old black and white movie orders or something. And it seems like it would be a cordial or it has the,
like it would be green and weak and really sweet because julep.
But I mean, this is kind of a strong drink.
I mean, you're not going to, there's two ounces of bourbon in it.
So it's not wimpy.
It's stiff.
Question for you guys.
Have you ever heard the word julep outside of mint julep?
Orange julep um orange julep
is julep just a kind of drink i thought it was like uh the the extensive research i did it seemed like a julep just was like a drink with mint crushed in it like you can do
in georgia the georgia julep was like uh peach schnapps and mint like a champagne julep was like peach schnapps and mint.
Like a champagne julep is just champagne and mint.
So you put mint in anything.
Yeah.
I did a little bit of research just now.
I was Googling just to like see some pictures of these.
I saw a very funny thing.
I love finding a little funny nugget in like a comment thread.
It's not Twitter or Reddit.
But when you see, when you see people
in the comments of a normal website, having a back and forth, it's funny. Cause there's like
years between the comments, but on liquor.com, the mint julep page, um, it said optional,
a dash of bitters. And then one guy goes, I'm from Kentucky. I'm'm 70 years old and i've never heard of bitters in a mint julep and then
another guy commented below him and said i'm 85
and then and then some guy who i think was probably just a funny little shithead went
i'm 105 so it's just people on a website you know leaving comments spread across the years making
making jokes to the ether not even talking about the whiskey anymore or the no just sort of
heightening a bit i uh i looked up i was on this website and you're probably thinking why is the
kentucky derby associated with or why are uh mid jule associated with the Kentucky Derby well the way
whiskeywatchers.com tells it this is this is a big long article about mint juleps and this was
the Kentucky Derby founder Meriwether Clark Jr. planted mint for cocktails back in 1875.
There you go that's it there you go speaking of 1875 and uh there's. That's it. There you go. Speaking of 1875.
And there's no sign that it's going away anytime soon.
That's for sure.
Speaking of 1875, I got to make a correction in the episode about Tom Collins.
I said that Tom Collins is 100 years old.
And then I fact checked myself and it's from 1876, which is more, I did the math and that's more than a hundred years ago.
So to any of the math heads out there who were pissed off at me, I apologize and I'll do better.
Tim, you got four Pinocchios for that episode.
Because I was lying.
I wasn't just messing up.
I was lying.
You knew the truth and you lied.
You know, speaking of Pinocchio, I, uh, I was like, I was just thinking about the hero's
journey and I feel like in Pinocchio when they're in the belly of the whale, that that's
almost like the, uh, the belly of the whale part of that movie.
What do you guys think?
In terms of the hero's journey?
Yeah.
Um, yeah, I think it's the, uh, yeah, I think it's the call to action. In terms of the hero's journey? Yeah. Yeah.
I think it's the call to action.
Action is get out of that damn gut.
I mean, wouldn't you just be in the whale stomach?
You know what's coming next.
Whale turd.
You're going to be a whale turd.
How'd you guys crack your ice?
Did you use a blender?
Did you use a hammer?
A spoon? I put it on my palm of my hand. i cracked it with this back of a spoon oh that's cool
yeah but here's the thing i did it uh i did a bunch before the show here and like put it in
the freezer i took it out and it was all still it was like solid to each other so then i was
kind of used a bunch of big chunks and picked yeah because. Yeah, because ice wants to reseal. Yeah, yeah. It grew back to, it morphed.
It's like the T-1000.
I used my muddler for the first time.
How about that?
Like a little baseball bat.
You own one of those?
Yeah, I put it in a pint glass
and I jammed it all around.
It's cool as hell.
I used the butt end of a wooden spoon.
Yeah, that's what I read online
that you could use that.
I went on YouTube to see how you actually muddle something. And this one bartender was like, of a wooden spoon. Yeah, that's what I read online that you could use it. I went on YouTube to see how you actually muddle something.
And this one bartender was like, take your wooden spoon and you just push it down on the mint three times.
Oh, whoa.
Three times.
I did about 3,000 times.
That's why my drink looks like the Dagobah system.
Well, if you are going to go on YouTube looking for content,
you may as well check out my channel next time you're there.
I got a lot of cool fail videos and some epic stuff that you might really like.
Nice.
I'm working on a new lip sync.
Well, it's the opposite of a fail video.
It's like a success video.
Win.
A win video.
A win video.
And those can be entertaining too.
Tim, hit us with the URL, man.
Yeah. video and those can be entertaining too tim hit us with the url man yeah w-h-t-t-t-a-p but colon backslash www.youtube.com slash tim kelpakis great uh i haven't had any videos in about 12
years i think i have about 87 subscribers but i do get uh an email notification every once in a
while it will be like a user leaves a comment on a video I did in 2007.
Yeah, they're like fake.
Yeah, they're like, you know, Trump rules.
Trump rules, videos rules.
They don't say which Trump, I don't know.
It could be Barron.
Now, guys, I was in the store today.
I was buying some groceries.
And I had the mint julep on my mind.
How am I going to make this thing?
What have you?
And I walked by a strawberry.
I love some strawberries.
So I picked them up, and I made myself a mint julep with strawberry.
Oh, my God.
Mike, you got drinks on the side?
I did a side drink and this one I'm calling,
let me see how it tastes first.
It looks good.
Oh yeah.
Damn.
Oh yeah.
So it's a little, it's just a mint julep then,
but with muddled strawberry.
It's called a Mike julep and you can make them at home.
See, I knew, I knew it was going to happen,
but I didn't think by episode three.
That I was going to course correct?
That Mike would try and start some new drink craze that he cooked up.
Yeah.
You're all next summer, you're going to see Don on Kentucky Derby Day.
Give me a Mike Julep.
What?
What?
This is the same guy who created the Russian Root, which is some sort of half-cocked plan he had
at, I believe, a Kentucky Derby party we had.
Is that right?
It wasn't half-cocked.
Yeah, at our old house,
we had a Kentucky Derby party in our backyard,
and then our good friend Eva Anderson,
friend of the pot,
great comedy writer, friend of other pots.
We don't have friends on this podcast. We don't know if she's a friend of the pot. Friend writer friend of other pots we don't have friends on this
friend of us in real life but she is kind of uh you know a cocktail historian in her own right and
had looked up some very authentic cocktails and punches she mixed the punches and crystal
punch bowls she had infused uh liquors yeah and got like mixed drink got mixed drinks ready for our event
worked all weekend and made some amazing things and then hanford on the same table oh she also
made little cards she put it out with like a little card yeah that was like the name well
written she wrote in like nice calligraphy that she worked on then yes mike you put the russian
root was um a bottle of spedka vodka and a two liter bottle of mug root beer.
And you put that on the table.
And then you saw that Eva had made little signs.
So you with a big fat Sharpie wrote Russian root on a piece of paper and put it out.
And I believe Eva took it off the table and hit it and put it on the ground.
Hold on.
The side had more.
It had how to make it.
It was one.
Oh, how would they know? One part root beer, one part vodka and ice.
Oh, how would they know?
But between the jug of vodka and the jug of root beer.
And also you had to make it yourself.
And Eva's bunches had like chartreuse and chambord in them.
Yeah.
So Eva took mine and like you said, put it on the ground.
She put my sign and my drinks on the ground.
And I saw her.
I was like, what is this?
Why is this the ground?
She said, because I'm like doing a nice thing here.
But then you put it back.
You picked it up and you put it back.
She's right.
Drinks shouldn't be on the table.
I mean, they should be on the table, not on the floor.
Her answer was because I'm doing a nice thing here.
It's perfect.
She was at your house.
She brought the refreshments and put work and thought into a party at your house.
Right, exactly.
She wouldn't have had that opportunity if it wasn't at my house.
Oh, big time.
I gave her the opportunity yeah why is she so entitled well we'll have her on the pod one day to figure that out
but the russian root that's not a bad drink either that's uh it's pretty good
root bug root beard but have you ever been to clearman's Northwoods on the San Gabriel Valley?
It's like a fake rustic place.
It's a big lodge with fake snow on the roof.
They have a whole menu of mules, Moscow mule, whiskey mule, blah, blah.
And then one of the things they had was vodka and root beer.
So I ordered it.
What did they call it?
They called it like a root mule.
A floor drink.
Sorry, this is Clearman's Northwoods?
Yes, it's Clearman's Northwoods.
What else the hell?
You can't just throw out a term like that, Clearman's Northwoods.
It's true.
We should specify which Northwoods.
Everyone's probably thinking, yeah, I go to 10 or 20 different Northwoods restaurants.
Clearman's.
Clearman, you fool.
Clearman's a wacky guy that in Pasadena, he has a restaurant shaped like a boat, a
restaurant shaped like a hunting lodge.
He's kind of a failed Walt Disney kind of a guy.
That's cool.
You know Clearman.
Clearman's a nut.
I wonder if Clearman ever met a Don the Beachcomber.
I should hope so.
Hey, you know what we'll get into when we do the Mai Tai is Don the Beachcomber and Trader Vic had a contentious... People say that Trader Vic invented the Mai Tai and Don the Beachcomber says... So that's a tease to the listeners.
Nice.
We're going to get into that.
I like thinking of the camps of each both guy being like, no, no, no. I saw him. Vic did it. I was there. He said I'm his friend too,
by the way. Two guys just putting a bunch of almond syrup in their rum and arguing about it.
And the people ordering them can't tell the difference.
These are good. I'm not like a whiskey bourbon-y guy, but I do think the mint sprig saves it on the top as you're
smelling it. Yeah.
You guys are too swayed by the smell,
I think. That's the second time
you've really been charmed by
the idea of having a little bit of a smell
before you drink a high-proof
liquor. Swayed by
the smell. Could be an album.
Hey, swayed by the smell.
Swayed by the smell. But we spell hey suede by the smell wait by the smell but we spell it suede like
suede like the shoes and then oh wait why why would we do that because it's a allegory
the cover is us a nice suede shoes standing next to a sewer grate
suede near this the smell suede by the smell this smell i mean that is the thing that's
that's why bartenders when they make an old-fashioned they rub that little orange
peel around the outside you're supposed to get it on your hands you're supposed it's supposed to be
adding a new element you know the movie the fifth element well this is exactly like that i i when i go to a cocktail place that knows
what they're doing i have them make me let's say if i was going to do this drink i'd have them make
me two mint juleps the first one just splash it all over me into my face the second one so i smell
it second one i'm just yeah so you kind of it's a it's a mint julep splash with a mint julep back chaser.
The julep covered dork.
Would you ever walk into a bar and just say, not look at the menu, and when they take your order, just say, I'll have a mint julep.
And just test, just assume that the bartender is going to muddle for you.
Right, right, right.
Like you can do that with a
anyone does a rum and coke. Yeah.
I order a gin and tonic a lot and I feel like
I don't have to ask. You just say
buy a consorted gin and tonic, but would you ever
say mint julep?
Yeah, you got to do that because
the alternative is do you
have mint julep? Yeah, you don't want to sound like that
Tim. You know how to make them?
I mean, I definitely wouldn't talk in that voice so that helps me right out the gate. you don't want to sound like that, Tim. Do you know how to make them? Do you, Bert? I mean, I definitely wouldn't talk in that voice,
so that helps me right out the gate.
You know, like, I don't have to worry about that.
I think any bartender would be surprised
if you asked for a mint julep.
It's an easy order.
They could do it in a second,
but I think they would be like, huh, okay.
They'd probably be like,
I don't know if I have powdered sugar.
I just never...
Simple syrup would probably be the uh
oh did you use correct you used powdered sugar like the baking sugar yeah baby i went to the
letter of the law here minus the steel cup yeah i want to do the last couple we've done i've uh
been making some shortcuts this one was the real deal damn i thought i had powdered sugar and i
ended up using normal granular also i'm kind of mad I had to buy powdered sugar because I got it.
It's fairly well contained right now,
but that shit is like glitter.
It just goes.
I feel like my floor is going to be sticky
for no reason tomorrow morning
and I'm going to be like,
I got a fucking powdered sugar.
Jeff, you are a coffee drinker, yes?
Big time, baby.
Now, how do you feel about putting
that powdered sugar in your coffee?
Michael?
It seems weird, doesn't it?
But it seems like you could do it.
You know, I made fun of you for the Russian route,
but this might have gotten you back on the good list, baby.
You made fun of me for that?
I thought we were having fun.
He made fun of you off-pod to me a lot.
A lot of texts.
And not just leading up to this.
Well, this is, I mean, we're
realizing the folly of this pod is that
we have to buy big volumes
of things to use the tiniest amounts
of them. It sucks to buy a huge bag
of powdered sugar and use one teaspoon.
So if you can think of some other way to use
something, that's good news.
Well, I'll tell you what, even I wasn't, like for this liquor
especially, I just got
two little
travel size, whatever they call those nips, nips and smart to knob creeks, which I only just needed one cost me 13 bucks.
Yeah, that's why you got to do the Jeff and Tim move of you go to the liquor store together, you buy full bottles of this stuff and then you have a nervous break.
You buy full bottles of this stuff and then you have a nervous break.
And then you spend 30 minutes in the parking lot, crouched over, uh, little bottles with a little funnel trying to coax the liquor into these little bottles.
And then you part ways.
And when you're asking, you're asking the cashier all about falernum and a bunch of
people, uh, you know, evening rush, just trying to get a tall boy on their way home
from work are lined up behind you while you're saying, is that velvet falernum or is that falernum bitters?
And what about the Pernod?
Oh, geez.
Yeah, I turned back to the people in line behind me when I said that, too.
The Pernod.
Now, what do you guys think?'re going to uh try uh variations on
this drink i think that i would in my normal life just when i when i have a bourbon on the rocks
maybe throw a mint sprig in there if i have one i don't think i need the sugar no and i do like
putting this much ice maybe that's something i'll do from now on is just always pile ice that goes over the rim of
the glass. It's kind of fun. Yeah. I kind of, did you get your ice down to like, like shape? Like
how did you, uh, some of it was snow, but some of it was still like cubes, a bit of a mix.
Sometimes with all these, like there's too many cubes in here at this point.
Yeah. This drink is not a starting point for me to make tweaks. You know, I'm glad we did it. This is maybe my least favorite of the three we've tackled so far. It's fine. I like this. I like this sound,
by the way. It's good. It's a good clinker. Yeah. And much like the other drinks, I do think it
gets better as you go. All of these drinks are as they melt. That's the thing with a strong liquor,
by the way. yeah it's great
you know i read this thing about the the reward center of your brain like the part of your brain
that that makes you think you deserve a drink is based on like if you've had if you've been
working hard you want to reward yourself uh or if you you some you got some good news and you
want to reward yourself it triggers this this reward center in your brain.
But there's a problem with our brains where another thing that triggers that reward center, instead of accomplishing something or being sad or whatever, is just having one drink.
So if you have a drink, your brain starts saying, I should have.
You know what?
I got to have a second.
I owe it to myself.
So you've accomplished something by doing the one drink?
Yeah. It's like you set a plan
to drink that drink and you accomplished it
and you celebrate with number two. I like that.
Next thing you know, you're doing what I'm doing.
Waking up with a bottle of whiskey in your hand every
morning. Glug, glug.
Glug, glug, glug.
We'll be right back all right guys how we feeling about these drinks now that we're deep into them
refreshed you want final thoughts on these things yeah let's get into the final thoughts
i'm like it i like it i'm like it you are'm like it. You are similar to it.
Well, I'm similar to the Mike Julep for sure.
But the mint Julep, I also like.
How deep are you into that Mike Julep?
I'm kind of taking a few sips on that, but I'm really, I'm still handling the mint Julep.
I don't like that you went rogue and made a second Julep.
What if that one gets really popular?
You're on the Today Show,
and then your two friends are in the gutter?
Two friends are in the gutter?
Who do you think I'm bringing to the Today Show with me
to hang out in the green room
for getting free Skittles and coffee all morning?
You are?
Yes, you two.
Come on.
I'm not going to forget you guys when I'm on the Today Show.
There's nothing more that we like more than a morning of skittles come on uh you're you're gonna be uh right there so you're gonna be
in the wings and i'm gonna say you know what reege no not reege he's gone yeah you know what guys i
gotta say this about the julep this is um appointment only does that make sense oh then
this means like if you're at a horse race or if you're
at some theme thing, if you're one specific horse, you know, then you're going to have a julep. And
then otherwise I don't see this making its way into anyone's everyday life. No one's muddling
in their normal life. Nobody's coming home from work and relaxing and muddling. I mean,
you could clap it a few times and then throw it in. That's true. I like it. Who even has the mint?
Also, how big is a sprig?
I feel like...
Yeah, that was unclear to me.
The sprigs I got from the grocery store would have been too much.
I had to approximate how much mint I want in there.
And I pulled the leaves off the sprigs.
And threw them out?
You were just muddling the stems?
No, no. You know, I pulled the leaves off and I wiped. And threw them out? You were just muddling the stems? Yeah, I pulled the leaves off
and I wiped my ass with them. Come on!
Damn.
My sprig was like a California
redwood trunk.
What the sprig?
I think this is a type
of drink, if I'm at a
bar or something, I'll say
I don't want a beer, and i don't want my usual like
a martini i will then say i will try i remember i like mint juleps bullshit i call bullshit like
there's no really you're never going to get one of these at a bar i would be i would be stunned
if you did jeff's gonna be stunned did you hear this tim jeff's gonna be
stunned i love it no i love it i love that you've got such an active imagination tim final thoughts
uh i'm drinking again in and i'll tell you there's one of two scenarios one i'm on vacation in the
old american south and i say you know what i went in rome went in Rome. And so if I were in Tennessee-
Yeah, they give them to you when you get off the plane down there.
Or I went Kentucky. I would ask for one and they'd probably roll their eyes because this
tourist is getting one, but when in Rome, I want to have it. And another instance,
this is way more likely, is it's the day that the Kentucky Derby is on TV,
which I never know when that is. It always catches me off guard and it's like
11 a.m. on a Saturday. And I bet that that'll happen. And then I'll turn to Jessica and say,
what if I make some mint juleps? And then she'll be like, fine. And then I'll make them.
I'd rather you didn't. You turn into a mess when you drink mint juleps.
I'd rather you come with me to the divorce attorney's office and we end this right
now no i want to watch lauren too well there you have it folks uh the mint julep is uh not beloved
here on this podcast i said yes i said i do like it but i'm not i'm just too lazy to muddle on a
normal i'm vetoing oh shit we have veto Yeah, this isn't across the board like,
cool, drink!
It's a good drink.
Makes you think. Yeah, it's not going
in the normal rotation, but
it tasted good. Yeah, alright.
I can't believe I got vetoed.
You're starting to remind me of Don Vito
Corleone.
I am? Yeah.
From Goodfellas.
That sounds pretty good to a guy like me.
I could have been a contender kind of a guy.
I'm not even going to attempt one of those.
You guys are too good.
Well, that does it for the julep.
Now, I think Tim has a quiz ready for us, Mike.
Oh!
Do I ever.
You guys are sporting gentlemen, are you not? Yes, yes. Not so much.
You enjoy sport? Always, in all forms. We've been discussing the Kentucky Derby. It came up. And
you guys have, you know, are steeped in the tradition of the Kentucky Derby, are you not?
I have created a little bit of a game for you
called Horse Challenge.
Now, here's how this is going to work.
In each round of this game,
I'm going to give you a list
of five names of horses
that have won the Kentucky Derby
and you tell me
which one I made up.
Oh.
I'm going to run through the names. You
each say which one. You know, sometimes
you'll agree. Sometimes you'll pick different ones.
It doesn't matter what order
you say them. And then I will tell
you whether you are right or
wrong-o. Ready?
I love this. Ready.
Round one. Here are
the horses' names, one of which
was invented by me.
The names are
Genuine Risk,
Wonderful Chance,
Spectacular
Bid,
Bold Venture, and Foolish Pleasure. spectacular bid bold venture and foolish pleasure oh man i pick foolish pleasure
that's like can i hear him one more time genuine risk wonderful chance spectacular bid bold venture and foolish
pleasure.
I'm going to go Wonderful Chance.
And the answer is
Wonderful Chance.
So you're telling me Wonderful Chance never
existed. As far as I did
extensive research, it's possible that
there was a horse named Wonderful Chance that never went pro.
But he certainly never won the kentucky derby round two dang uh i gotta say mike as of now jeff
is mopping the floor with you yeah i feel it i feel it this guy's on floor but you know get your
rally cap on because you're not quite out of it just yet it's possible we're things having round two. The names are strike the gold
pop that cork
mine that
bird go for
gin. I'll
have another
what was the
bird one mine
that bird
I say it's mine that bird
you're both wrong. It was pop that cork Mind that bird. I say it's mind that bird. Yeah, me too.
You're both wrong.
It was pop that cork.
Mind that bird is a horse's name.
It absolutely is.
Are the horses naming themselves?
Tim, you are sometimes when you reach a certain level,
you get a little echo in the walls of your room, and it sounds like you're a grandstand announcer.
Yeah, those are not the walls.
I kind of brought in a few acoustic devices because I was going for that.
Round two.
Three.
Three.
Three for me.
Round three.
Round three.
The names are Silky Queen, Majestic Prince. Flying Ebony.
Lucky Debonair.
Big Brown.
I say Lucky Debonair.
Jefferson?
Oh, Silky Queen.
Jefferson Dutton is right.
Silky Queen was. Jeff, I is right. Silky Queen was.
Jeff, I got to take you down the track.
What can I say?
I have a knack for this sort of thing.
Now, I don't think it's just that you're guessing.
I think you have encyclopedic knowledge of what goes on down at that derby.
Okay, round four.
Why can't they just be named Lauren?
Yeah, some of them were.
I remember one very specific one that was, but we're moving on to round four.
And the names are Smarty Jones, George Smith, Beautiful Jim Key, Clyde Van Dusen Fast Henderson
Fast Henderson
Final answer
Dutton
I'm going George Smith
And the answer is Fast Henderson
Michael Hanford is on the board
Putting the hand man on the board
I like that
I like it too because suddenly
You're back in the game and this is a stiff competition
It's the final question.
Jeff could win it, or Mike could tie it up,
and we'll go to a tiebreaker.
I hope for me there's a very obvious one.
The names are, in the final round,
Assault,
Exterminator,
Bullet Boy,
Thunder Gulch, California Chrome, exterminator bullet boy thunder gulch california chrome
thunder gulch exterminator you're both wrong bullet boy was the inventive name
meaning the winner of the game is jefferson dutton with two points congratulations
i swore we were tied going into that.
I thought we were tied.
Were you?
No.
Nice try.
You know, I've got all this bourbon in my brain, so you could have tricked me.
Yes, yes.
The bourbon is making fast work of my tipsiness.
I'm feeling so good off this win.
I could read some listener mail.
Listener mail?
That's your prize. I forgot to tell you. Your prize is you get to read some listener mail. Listener mail? That's your prize. I forgot
to tell you your prize is you get to read the listener mail. Dang. I could have done that.
I'm no good at the quizzes. It's just that simple. You're good at giving them.
Caden asks, Hey guys, I feel like I'm the only one in my friend group that hasn't fallen for
this idea that different kinds of alcohol make you different kinds of drunk.
I've had almost everything you can drink and they've all had the same basic
result.
Where do you guys land on this?
Please tell me I'm not crazy.
Caden PS shout out to Skittles who turned me on to you guys.
I assume Skittles,
the candy I hope is Skittles.
I hope it's a human and not a candy.
Okay.
Okay.
Here's the thing.
I used to think that tequila brought a candy. A cat. Okay, here's the thing.
I used to think that tequila brought me up, rum brought me down, wine gave me a headache, all these different things.
I agree with Caden.
Caden?
Caden.
C-A-Y-D-E-N.
Caveman.
I agree with caveman.
Wait, so he's saying that the hangovers are no different.
He's just saying that like,
you know what people say,
Oh,
tequila drunk is crazy versus.
Oh yeah.
Tequila drunk is crazy,
man.
I kind of,
I,
I agree except for tequila.
Yeah.
Tequila,
tequila gets me tuck,
tuck,
tucking.
Maybe they all give us the same drunk,
but then those other additives, you know, maybe, maybe, uh, have more carbs or sugar, give you more energy or, or give you a headache
because I was reading about how, what the feeling of drunkenness is.
And it's, it's basically like the alcohol, alcohol goes into your stomach and then there's
an enzyme released in your body.
And then there's a second enzyme
released to counteract that first enzyme. It's called acetaldehyde. And that's what feels fun.
And that's what gives you euphoric effects. Oh, hell yeah. So, so all of these drinks,
we're putting them in our stomach and then waiting for two different enzymes to be released.
Doesn't it seem like the enzymes need to take a vacation every once in a while. This is too much. I would say give me the straight acetaldehyde or
whatever that was. Oh man, I could go for an acetaldehyde on the rocks.
I think I've heard, I've at least told people this as if it's a fact,
that tequila is an upper while every other liquor is a downer.
Well, we do have anecdotal evidence that supports that, which was when we had a
Jose Cuervo party and we had 30 bottles of Cuervo and we didn't offer any other drinks and everybody drank only tequila.
And it was the wildest coked up party I've ever seen.
Yes.
Yeah, it was nuts at the end.
Everyone was jacked up to the roof.
That was so fun.
Telling like, I want to say, honestly, 150, maybe 200 people that all they could have to drink was
tequila. That was, that was a wild time. It's so funny to just not offer it. Everyone is used to
at the very minimum, there's beer as backup. And we're like, nope.
If you've got a question for the boys, email us at the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com.
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