The Sloppy Boys - 93. Bartles & Jaymes

Episode Date: July 29, 2022

The guys check up on a pioneering wine cooler and find them in the midst of a clumsy relaunch.Available in select stores:https://www.bartlesandjaymes.com/where-to-buy.html Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford. Oh, hi Jeff. Hi Michael, and Tim Kalpakis.

What is up? Ooh, it's nice seeing you all back in your your correct settings on your correct mics sounding good yep jeff you know what you're probably gonna you're probably gonna what what skin my hide tan my hide for this but i'm sitting next to my air conditioner again is it on too hot too hot is it in the on position on i don't hear it going strong mike good you've got the ac on you've got a sleeveless shirt and you even shaved your upper Too hot. Is it in the on position? On. I don't hear it. Going strong. My good. You've got the AC on. You've got a sleeveless shirt, and you even shaved your upper lip to stay nice and cool for the night. Yep.

I'm doing everything I can over here. It is a heat wave. You still look a little balmy. Mustache is gone. Yeah, your lip is bald. Your lip just went bald. It was funny. I shaved.

I got home one night and shaved it. I was like, I'm done with this. I went to bed and woke up. And I looked in the mirror. I was like, ooh. Oh, boy. I've never done mustache. No one ever does mustache.

It's just that you have a beard and then you're shaving and you say, ooh, I'll leave a funny little thing. Yeah. That thing was on for, I had it for about a month and a half i like yours mike in the same way that i like our friend mookies because it it doesn't read as like i'm doing a like you must laugh at my ironic mustache i feel like if you it was a nice full one and you wore it well it wasn't like thank you it wasn't like i'm kind of put two days into this and i want people to notice well yeah it, if you got up close, you could see how stringy it really was,

but in it from a distance, trust me, I did not get close. I was not within a mile of that thing. Um, it can get pretty nasty. Hey, you mentioned that I'm on a,

uh, on my good microphone in my home today. Cause last week I was in Kingston, New York talking from my earbuds. Um, and just if i seem frazzled and flustered and white as a ghost and bloodshot eyes and shaking hands is because just before this pod that airbnb i podcasted from last week the lady reamed me what for what liz liz liz reamed me y What? For what? Liz. Liz? Liz reamed me. Yikes. Well, here's the thing.

I feel like the culture of Airbnb has changed. It used to be like, you must do everything on your way out and spend your whole last morning worrying about all my little rules. You're saying it used to be like that? It used to be like that. Okay. When I started doing Airbnbs, you're like staying in somebody's apartment. You want to keep it nice.

And they're like, can you please take the garbages here and take the garbages there and move the garbages all around? When we were on the road with Don't Stop, we Don't Stop or We'll Die, Mike Cassidy and Paul Rust. When we stayed in Philadelphia, we actually stayed in New Jersey at some house, like a big house. And there were so many rules. We had to take all the sheets off, bring it all downstairs. They put us us to work in that house it was like a scavenger hunt list for sunday i booked that house for us and i'll tell you what the that house was very cheap and then the cleaning fee was very low so it didn't bother me that we had to strip the beds and gather the towels and stuff these days yeah they'll fucking charge you 300 for a cleaning fee which

is the price that theoretically a professional cleaning crew is going in there you know so so these days i just walk i trash the place i walk out the front door i'm like i don't i'm paying 300 clean it up you know so now what was liz's problem um liz's problem is that she uh has a fucking screw loose in her fucking brain. I'll say this. Sorry to hear that, Tim. I would. Well, there was also a screw loose in the dishwasher, but it was normal. I fucking left some.

I didn't put the chairs back like I gathered the chairs around the TV. And I mean, I broke one or two things that I'll happily pay for. But I'm starting to side with Liz here, too. No, no. Sure. I broke a few things and the neighbors hate me. Here's the thing. I'll pay any.

If I did something wrong, I'll pay for it. And if I paid an exorbitant cleaning fee, they should clean. It wasn't enough. Whatever. But this lady took the time to, like, write me a mean message. And that, to me, is very fun. Like, I care. a mean message and that to me is very fun like like i care she was like ended it by being like to be quite frank this whole situation has left has left me with a very icky feeling about this

and i'm like you're not talking like i felt i wrote her back and i was like yeah okay i'll like i'll up whatever there was a beautiful house it was a great week i'll pay for this stuff what do you what do you yeah you don't yell at me. The way you're, the, what you're describing here seems like, you know, you left the house like a little,

uh, askew, but she must, is this her first time ever doing this? Like you must. It's her first time doing anything. Is it, is it her home?

No, it's not, it's not her home. I do think she's new to the app and it's just stuff. It's like, so the dishwasher was broken, right? In what world did I maliciously vandalize? Like there was a world. she's new to the app and it's just stuff that's like so the dishwasher was broken right in what

world did i maliciously vandalize like there was a world there was a piano and a hot tub if either of those are broken it's like oh tim had a party and tim got drunk what am i doing with a dishwasher it's obviously normal wear and tear i put dishes in it you know i do know yeah i know i've wear and tear that's that comes with the territory i guess i do know that uh airbnb is like they've cut to like no they say no parties the exact people you like that can fit in the house can be you can have more people like right on couches and things that aren't supposed to be beds i had no parties but i had my family's day over she was like it was quite clear that there were more people in this house than that were listed in the rental and

i only listed myself in a three-bedroom house just because who gives a fuck and then it was like i had family over and i was like look at these beautiful bedrooms stay and so and we had a great day jump on the beds put holes in the windows nobody nobody did anything weird everything's fine she's not even charging me a lot of money, but she wrote maybe a seven inch message on my phone. Seven inches of scrolling. And I said, lady, that's the number of inches I reserve for my

soft cock. Oh, boy. I don't believe that for a second. I've heard seven soft, six hard. It compacts. It's it yeah it tenses up um but there's that thing happening though with airbnb we're like a bunch of people millennials probably um that's me bought up a

bunch of houses and like turn them into airbnbs rich families or whatever will buy like three homes in an area and B&B them all. Yeah. And then they'll be sad when they start losing money because nobody's renting them. But that's where like I've heard lately that like the cleaning fees are going up and you're expected to clean. Well, this is what Liz did for me. Like she thought I paid $300 for a cleaning crew. Clearly, there was no cleaning crew.

But I paid $300. paid $300 for a cleaning crew. Clearly there was no cleaning crew, but I paid $300. And then also she was like mad that the chair from the vinyl room where the record player is was left in the TV room, like a folding chair. What the fuck? I paid $300.

Move the fucking chair. I'm going to move my fucking foot up your ass in a second. Airbnb. It's not what it used to be. Yeah. I'm seeing a lot of stuff on twitter like fuck this i'm going back to hotels like airbnb is done i love a hotel i'm staying home oh michael a nice little staycation for michael staycation and i'll airbnb it while i'm here people can come

in and help me clean come in and know me better oh Oh, Mike, when you come to LA, I do have some new fees, unfortunately. I'm going to take the fee Tim's talking about with my foot up your ass. No, no. Mike, you can't actually do that either, though. Yeah, but then you're going to need a shoe cleaning fee after that. Yeah, there's a shoe cleaning fee. It's my shoe. No, it doesn't matter.

All right. All right. Well, do we get into some booze news? Hit it. It's a packed episode. We should get going. Yep. I got to be somewhere, but I want to kind of get buzzed on the way.

It's on the way. It's on the way. A walkie talkie. Walkie talkie. No, no. A walkie talkie. Walkie talkie. A walkie talkie. Walkie talkie. Copy no no. Walkie. A walkie talkie. Walkie talkie.

Ooh. Yeah. Yeah. A walkie talkie. Popo no no no. Walkie talkie. Popo no no no. It's Boos News, you chowderhead yokel oh

hey that's a nice out delightful okay that was walkie talkie popo no booze news sent to us by krebex and if you have a booze news theme email to the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com krebex yeah And if you have a booze news theme, email it to the sloppyboyspodcast at gmail.com.

Krebex. Yeah, I wrote him back and said, is it Krebex or is it Krebex? And he said the first one. So it's Krebex. Is he related to Skrillex and Cryptex? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the first one.

It's the first one. Just leave me alone. I hate your show. That sort of reminds me of Oye Como Va. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It kind of reminds me of Oye Como Va. Yeah. Yeah. It kind of reminded me of that, too. Yeah.

That was a reference to folks. We said, if you got a Topo Chico, you turn into a ranch water. The police don't know. Walk wherever you want. So Popo No No. Yeah. They're looking at saying, well, there's an upstanding citizen with a bubbly water. The bubbliest on the market.

Those dry bubbles. Okay. Hold on to your butts because for today's booze news i wanted to try something different are you on board for some little curveball i'm always excited to see something different to the form is malleable and i love to see it change yeah and as for me it makes me a little nervous but go ahead I thought that today, you know, we talk a lot about the booze news. There's always booze, oh, the new booze, the new booze. But there's other places to observe the culture. And today I wanted to take a look at the pop charts. Ooh.

Oh, okay. Because you know I like to listen to my- The frosted breakfast treat. Oh, God. Toaster strudels. Yes, the seinfeld film subject itself um no i you guys know i listen to the spotify top 50 on friday i like to be a i listen to kiss fm and my t-bird i like to be abreast of what's going on out there and i feel like we talk more music on our patreon show sure sure subscribe now um but i had noticed in my pop listening that there are there's some booze references

in the music of today and it's kind of interesting to uh take a peek and say who's talking what drinks in what songs and do kind of a little roundup. So the slop heads know what's bubbling up in the musical zeitgeist. Yeah. Yeah. What's T-Pain drinking? What's Justin Bieber's tipping back? Yep.

It'll be interesting to see if any of these are branded. Oh, shit. I'm guessing no, but maybe one of you guys sent me straight well maybe only one of them really even mentions a brand but we'll get to that who's the guy i like who uh i can never think of his name oh boy bud light guy oh post malone post malone my i hope he's on the list um did you see there was a thing recently where post malone gave like a fan the shirt off his back it was a little oh i i love post malone because he's a nice guy this was maybe a little little heavy-handed where like he was walking like from the stage or toward the stage at a

festival and a fan was like could i have your shirt and post he was like yeah maybe maybe it made a little bit too much of a show of taking the shirt off and handing it to him but i love it i love also like post he's not uh he's not in uh he's not one of these like guys with abs who's showing off his body he's got a nice normal body not afraid to take the shirt off love it oh speaking of it's also a young fella he's like 28 26 maybe oh yeah like me pop star uh i never got those abs for the summer i kind of uh that'll like there's still time well there's time he said by the fourth and i was laying on a towel next to mike on the fourth and he fessed up to me yeah he said tim look me in the face and then look down a little bit you unbuttoned your shirt and it knocked me over

ouch it was covet i was on a good streak and i got covid i lost all interest true that's that's a good excuse yeah that's why it was not like it's impossible to do well uh post malone drinks vodka and lacroix he says so in one of his songs but he calls it lecroy that's funny because usually the way people say it wrong is like la croix or la croix or something i like to get the wrong word wrong okay first song that caught my attention pop charts this song's everywhere and it reference it's named for a cocktail we've done on the very podcast this comes to us from puerto rico's own mega phenomenon superstar, Bad Bunny with Moscow Mule.

Hit it. Do you guys know this song? No. Not yet. You'd probably recognize the chorus. This album is huge. Lots of hits off of it, but this is sort of one of the singles.

Bad Bunny is fucking huge, man. Yeah. Crazy, because he was like the reggaeton king, kind of in the style of like a Daddy Yankee or J Balvin, and now he's just like Mr. Popman, all international everywhere. You can cut that, J. Wait, I want to hear the chorus. There you go.

You know when that beat drops. Same beat in every song. Yeah. Oh, maybe I don't know the song. So the song is called Moscow Mule, and it's a horny song. And the lyrics are kind of like, if you want it, I'll pull it out. Two drinks and you know I get horny. He means the mint and ice cubes.

Yes, I'll pull out the copper mug. Two drinks and you know I get horny. We're not official, but we've been entangled for a while. WhatsApp without a photo, you don't save my contact i like that that when it's really a real specific like that you do love specifics tim you've said so much you've said as much if they're if they're insightful like that reminds isn't the new drake album has a song that's called like texts go green i love stuff like that where you're like i've never heard somebody call that out before um anyway but what we're getting to later in the song he says

i don't know about you but i want to wake up naked on a beach near bali if not cancun get another moscow mule and that's the song nude nude oh my uh here's a question for you does he do songs in spanish and english he's only spanish and he has massive hits in america never yep he didn't even do the bts thing of like okay and here's my english localization yeah yeah yeah bts does uh they're from korea right yeah and they don't like read up but well they'll like they don't make japanese uh like versions of the songs too. Well, I never know if it's versions or if it's that... Like Dynamite and Butter are like their American songs written in English. Like by English-speaking songwriters and stuff.

But I thought that that's funny that it's Moscow Mule because you're like... I like the idea of him partying with two Moscow Mules and he gets horny. And we've done it on the show. It's ginger beer. It's lime. I'll do it in one. You'll get horny in one

Moscow Mule. If you make it strong enough. That reminds me of Despacito was like the first I mean, well well we remember the the original latin invasion but uh you know your j-los and ricky martins and etc but um i feel like despacito was the one where i was like wow this is like a full-on latin song that is a hit and then bieber guessed it and it was like a hit again dude that version i wanted i looked up the youtube views and was so astonished it had over a billion views yeah and i was like are you kidding me and then i googled and it's

like that's the that's the biggest youtube video ever despacito remix with bieber is the biggest like if it's a billion that means one out of seven people on earth i guess people watched it i probably watched a billion times myself. One of those billion is Tim Kavakis. I've seen the full video. Does that count? Yeah, you have to get to the very end. Duh.

You better stay up late tonight and watch it. Okay, moving on. Who else we got, Tim? You're going to know this one because it was featured on the Sloppy Boys Summer Playlist 2022. Lotto, Big Energy. Hit it. Hey! Yeah, bitch, I could be your fantasy. I could tell 2022 lotto, big energy. Hit it. Hey, I could be a fantasy.

I could tell you that big, big energy. It ain't too many niggas that can handle me, but I might let you try it off the Hennessy. Yeah. You might not be able to handle me, but, uh,

you might all let you try after. I like that. I like that. A handle of Hennessy handle. That's good. Wait, the lyrics online I'm looking at are but i might let you try it off the hennessey i thought it was after hennessey

it's like it's like you you play off something you have some hennessey i'm playing off the hennessey here yeah yeah help me i have no idea you look so scared i don't know i don't know oh man hennessey is the big one i feel like that's yeah when you hear a ton of hip-hop staple You look so scared. I don't know. I don't know. Oh, man. Hennessy is the big one. I feel like that's the one you hear a ton about. Hip-hop staple. But then there was also, remember, past the Courvoisier. So cognac in general.

Courvoisier. Courvoisier as pronounced by. We are trying to pronounce this word. What is up to all the slopheads on YouTube? That guy that does those youtube pronunciations talks so long before he gets to the word i like it it's good for the pod though because it builds a little anticipation like what's the word gonna be i i used it for to say poutine and it was like it's a word that you may know but you may not know and it's a name but it's

a name of a food and here it comes a name of a food what the hell is he talking about um you know it's funny remember those uh the guy who used to do like the pronunciations that were all bad like it was like Lamborghini it was like Lamborghini such a simple brilliant

idea great troll account a whole account of just poorly butchered words okay and my third and final clip is comes to us from pop country crossover oh no wonder boy turned scandal covid guy turned honestly racist racial cancelled guy who apologized and like made donations and somehow keeps on kicking keeps on

ticking he's back on the charts his name's like Dirkus Dominic Dirkus Dirkus Bentley Morgan Wallen with You Pooh hit it with you. Hit it. I've been throwing down the whiskey. Whiskey. I ought to get my money back.

This whole thing is about whiskey. Someone said it drowns a memory. Ooh. But it ain't doing jack. It ain't doing jack. Interesting. I've been sipping, I've been buzzing, shooting doubles like it's nothing. All but nothing makes you go away.

I need something you prove. Hear the trap beats and stuff? It's so crossover-y. Interesting. I haven't heard a modern country song in a long time. Yeah, they're so auto-tuned. That's the sound. It's like Nashville Swedish.

It's so weird. Interesting. He needs something you proof proof so he's been drinking whiskey he's got dumped or something or he's sad he's been drinking whiskey but it's not doing the trick he i need something you proof something stronger than i'm used to yeah i've been pouring 90 to 100 proof i guess feeling nothing's gonna cut it that's the hard truth i need something you proof it's funny because it could be like you you proof as in like. I need something you proof. It's funny. Cause it could be like you, you proof as in like 90 proof,

a hundred proof you proof. But then it also could mean kind of like bulletproof, like you proof. Like that's why it's, that's why it's a fantastic song. Lyrical. You love it. The instant you hear it.

Yeah. You love the instant here. You love the, what he's talking about. Everyone can relate. He's a good guy. Yeah. So what we instant here. You love the, what he's talking about. Everyone can relate. He's a good guy. Yeah. So what we've learned is that if you're,

if you want to travel around the world with a reggaeton superstar, you're drinking Moscow mules this summer. If you, if you want to, you know, to try to get with Lotto, you're drinking Hennessy, cognac.

And if you're trying to get over a girl, you're drinking Hennessy, Cognac. And if you're trying to get over a girl, you need whiskey. Well, you know what? If, uh, Slopheads, if you're trying to get over that girl or guy, sure, the alcohol worked for a little bit, but you know what? You're going to wake up tomorrow and the same

predicament, so it's probably better to work on yourself instead of drowned and, uh, uh you know a block with drugs and alcohol what you could do is use promo code boys for better help and do some therapy because that would be a song i need some better help i think it's sloppy boys is the pro either way it's up to you hey i got neil camp Campbell of Campbell's Corrections hooked on M Drive. I've been drinking the M Drive. Nice.

I gave him the promo code. He's on the train. So if me and Neil seem kind of revved up testosterone wise, that's what's going on. I was going to say, you do seem a little revved up. I've been eating my or drinking my powders over here, too. You probably tell because I'm... Jacked. Yoked.

Oh, wow. I'm yoked. I got yoked. And if you say I'm not yoked. Yoked. Oh, wow. I'm yoked. I got yoked. And if you say I'm not yoked, you're going to get choked. That's my whole thing at the gym. When I walk into the gym, I stroll in and I say, Hey, my boys, who's yoked? You're yoked, my man.

All right. You're yoked, sir. Not me. I'm going to be choked. Because if you don't say I'm yoked, we're going to get choked. Hell yeah. Now, who wants to spot me? Get the tens. Fetch me the tens. me i'm gonna be choked because because if you don't say i'm yoked we're gonna get choked hell yeah now who wants to spot me get the tens fetch me the tens i told you a story i don't know if i told you the story a long time ago when i was maybe a freshman in high school my brother took

me to the ymca to lift weights and uh i went down the bench press area, bench press thing. And he put like 20 fives on each side, and the bar weighs 45, and I couldn't do it. So he took those off. We put tens on. I couldn't do that. Fives on, couldn't do that. Took everything off, and I'm struggling with the bar. Just the bar.

That's good. That's fine. You got to start somewhere. That's like a cartoon. Yeah. It's 45. It's 45 pounds. What if I get rid of the bar?

Are you just able to raise your fists up above your chest? He gave me his car keys and I could get those up. But by the end of the summer, I had 10s on the end. Wow. Maybe. I don't know. I probably lost interest in it. You probably had your arms around two 10s at the beach that summer, huh?

Yeah. He is right. Well, I have a little bit of booze news, but Mike, didn't you have some? Tiny bit. You know how we're an LLC, the Sloppy Boys LLC? Hell yeah. We're a company. I don't know if you guys get this stuff, but I got in the mail today a pen with the Sloppy

Boys LLC and my address on it, because it just these promo things and it's like had a big order excuse me order sheet that said like get more of these they can get me $100 for $0.75 each don't do it well maybe I did maybe I got $500

Mike pen requests go through me price break at $600 yeah you're sinking the LLC here, Mike. That's all I got. It's a good pen. That's cool. This has got one of these things. I get these types of pens at my dentist's office all the time.

Is that a rubber click? A little rubber at the end so you can, you know, if you're doing something on your phone. Hmm. A stylus. Stylus. Wow. A stylish stylus.

I'm styling with my stylus on a Friday night. Stop. When you held that pen up and I saw the name on there, I got a little pang of pride. Sloppy Boys LLC. Publicly traded on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange. Yeah. It looks like a dentist pen.

I need 500 shares. It is a dentist pen, basically. You need to have a bottle opener on it or something. All right, are you guys ready for a returning segment? Yes. Ooh. You need to have a bottle opener on it or something. All right, are you guys ready for a returning segment? Yes! It's time for Dutton's Delights. The best of HBO Those are the big three, baby

Alright Today on Dutton's Delights I'm back in, baby I'm back into Ninja Turtles They are in a renaissance right now When were you out? Well, you know I've always cared about the Ninja Turtles.

They never went away. They're always being reformed. They've been at it. But lately, they're really hitting the J-Man strike zone. First of all, I just read The Last Ronin. Are you familiar with this? No. So this is the creator, Kevin Eastman.

This is his last Ninja Turtles story. I'm going to read the synopsis from the back of the book. Oh, you don't have to. No, no, I have to for the segment. Oh, okay. The future of New York City is dim, a high-tech urban battlefield controlled by the Foot Clan

and their cybernetic soldiers. But from the wasteland outside the walls stalks a lone surviving turtle, the last Ronin, on a hopeless mission to end his family's feud once and for all. Carrying only the mementos of those he left behind, he'll join new and old allies to

reclaim the sewers, or die trying. Damn. Is that Raph? Is he the last Ronin? I won't say! What's Ronin all about? Is that a... That's a ninja without a sensei.

Really? Oh. Alright, second of all, for Ninja Turtles Renaissance. There's a fucking sound outside. You can hear that, can't you? No. Is it a ninja? There's a new game. Shredder's Revenge.

It's out on all platforms. It's just like the old beat-em-up side scroller things, but it's like newfangled. You can play as the Turtles or Splinter or April or even Casey. Tons of callbacks to your favorite games. Check it out, folks. You got it?

Yeah, I played it. With the side scroller on PS5? Yeah, you can get it for all the new systems. And it looks like Turtles in Time. It's great. Now, Jeff, with all this turtle, turtle this, turtle that, when you see a normal turtle in real life, you're walking through the bog and you see a turtle,

you kind of stop and say, like, hmm, kind of cool. I sort of stop and I go, hmm, I wonder. Nah. And then every time when you say, hmm, I wonder if he will ever be befallen by ooze. Yeah. Oh, I thought you were saying, like, I wonder if he's

one of the ninja turds. Right. But he's definitely not if he's walking around a bog. Yeah, if he's on all fours. Yeah. You ever go up to him and go, sausage or pepperoni? No response. Very good. You trained well.

Splinter has trained you well. Yes. The art of invisibility. Well, that's it for Duns Delight. See, I don't have to close that one up. That segment closes itself up. It's very sustainable, very eco-friendly. Cool.

There's no carbon footprint for that segment. No. No. But that is it for Booze news, though, finally, right? Yeah. Oh, okay. This is making me... You're inspiring me, Jeff, to sort of look at the practices of Timmy's travels

and see how we could use less electricity. And plastics. Hanford's hobby sort of runs on highly inefficient crypto coin. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, we're pulling a lot of carbon. Big carbon footprint over at Hanford's Hobbies. We're working on it. We have made a pledge to have that decreased by 2030.

Carbon free in 2030. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. We're going to try. That's a good goal. And, Tim, I'd encourage you to look into stuff like that too i will i i feel awful and i'm gonna put my best people on the job we don't have to get into this but it's it's so wild to me that uh cryptocurrency mining is a huge

environmental thing i have no idea how that's the case because I think of it just as computers. It's sad that that's the case. It's also really sad that I'll never click on an article about it. I'll read the headline and I won't click. I just can't get into it. I actually haven't... God, I can't remember the last time I clicked

on an article. I see the headlines. I react to the headlines. Well, Tim, you might be interested in a very clickable topic of the day. Oh, clickable shareables? This is maybe the opposite of cryptocurrency. Great. Folks, today we're talking Bartles and James. Yes, baby.

They're back. Now, you two, when I say Bartles and James, what do you think of? I mean, are we talking Bartles or james because i could go on and on i think of a um uh a tv commercial that's like faded out and it's two guys the two guys borrows i never saw those i um maybe i saw him after the fact but that's fine that's me i saw him after that i i've i've fine. That's me. I saw him after the fact. I've heard I've had. Yeah, to me, I think of this as the wine cooler for the moms of the 80s and the 90s. I associate it with like, I was surprised to see those two old farts selling it in the in the vintage commercials because to me this is new york san francisco yuppie work hard play hard mom on the go with her shoulder pads and and and way ahead of the curve of

zima and smirnoff ice and mike's heart right stuff right all the way up to these days you got your fucking hard mountain dew and they all owe something to wine coolers but i did eventually drink it when did you have it i um because it was a joke when i had it i bought it as a joke like a few years ago the the classic lantern bottle and the whole thing like the strawberry daiquiri flavor drank it way too sweet just undrinkably way too sweet i picture you know i picture um somebody in the 80s with like white uh pleated pants and a tucked in shirt that's very blousey and hanging out drinking like at a fern bar type of yeah you nailed it that's exactly it uh it started in 1981 with uh E&J Gallo uh Gallo being one of the largest U.S. wineries oh yeah Gallo I thought it was Vincent Gallo, but it's not. It's a different family. What about Joey

Gallo? I don't know about Joey. Ernest and Julio, though, E and J, this is some succession type stuff. Oh, shit. Check out the Gallo family. It's wild. Their dad, like, killed himself and his wife. The brothers fought over, like, the Gallo name, and there was a younger brother

who was like, well, I do Gallo cheese, and they were like fuck you take our name off that cheese everybody's suing each other yeah it's a twisted it's a twisted family but they gave us bartles and james which had a basically an uncontested run for 10 years like there was no other game in town it's's not like White Claw now where, where like everybody's doing this. They did the original wine cooler, which is essentially taking a little bits of wine and then, you know,

putting in soda water and flavors. What a great name. Wine cooler. Wine cooler. That sounds so nice. Want a wine cooler? Especially because wine is like, I think of room temp because I'm a red guy.

So when you say like wine cooler, you're already, you're already diffusing what i know about wine now i'm interested i'm curious but january 1st 1991 congress raises the nation's excise tax on wine from 17 cents to a dollar seven per gallon whoa whoa a substantial increase i thought it was 10 times that my math was wrong. It's something like five or six. But that cues the pivot to malt liquor. It cues the opening for Zima and Smirnoff Ice and Mike's Hard. Okay, so Bartles and James had actual grapes.

Actual wine, fermented wine. And then they themselves pivoted to what they called a malternative beverage. And then they limped along until 2007, at least. But I swear, I still saw this stuff like pre-COVID, just like out there. Absolutely. The Rite Aid that was just torn down on Franklin and Western, I swear to God, I saw it there in, we were doing the pod. Yeah, four packs in like baby blue cartons. Yep.

And then, so as of September 2019, I want to say, they are poised for a reboot. And we are still sort of standing on this precipice of the Bartles and James comeback. Hasn't quite happened yet. But as they say, they are, quote, putting the wine back in wine cooler. So this does have wine in it oh they're paying the tax so they're they're entering the white claw marketplace but they're not they're not sugar-free or carbo-free or any of that stuff it's a wine cooler i think i'll have to read it up i looked at the can and it looked like there's like seven grams of sugar something

more than a white claw okay but it it does have a lot of that language, like know this, know that, because they're trying to be White Claw. Right. Should we play one of the old ads? I guess we should play one of the old ads. This is my favorite one. Hello. There are many ways to use the Bartles and James premium wine cooler.

One lady in Massachusetts even uses it to make bread. Well, Ed suggests an even better idea is to use it as a topping. For example, as a topping for ice. This is quick and easy to do and will not only improve the flavor of ice considerably, but will make it more attractive as well. So if you're tired of having your ice just plain, add some Bartles and James. That's funny. We hope you appreciate this suggestion and thank you for your support.

That's legitimately funny. They sign off everyone with thank you for your support. That's legitimately funny. They sign off. Everyone would thank you for your support. Also, I didn't realize that they have a sort of non-actor charm. Like they sort of had like a Tim and Eric appeal. Wait, but are,

so those guys are, but they are actors, right? No, uh, Frank Bartles and Ed James, fictional characters. Also,

Ed James doesn't talk, um, are played by Dave rough car, Bartles and Ed James, fictional characters. Also, Ed James doesn't talk. Are played by Dave Ruffcar, an Air Force vet and cattle rancher from Oregon. And Ed James is played by Dick Mogg, a general contractor from Santa Rosa. How did they get involved? I think

one of them won a contest and the other one was like a contractor helping build something for the company. Wow, that's funny was this something like was the who made this it was the gallo gallo gallo wine now so were they was this like a very like um uh like they did research and figured this out or was it just like they kind of like oh let's give this a whirl and see what we can do i mean back in like the 80s i bet they did research yeah i wonder they didn't google it i'll tell you that it's very funny though that like back then they

could have a product whose demographic is so unlike the spokespeople right yeah is the demographic you said uh a stay-at-home moms or i just i mean, for us, I think of moms because my mom was the only one I ever saw within a quarter mile of a Bartles and James. But I think of yuppies and young partiers now, like Miami Vice type shit. Right, and just whoever that would, like old guys on a porch are going to drink bourbon, right? Or beer.

I just feel like nowadays White Claw is like, okay, our demo is 25-year-old Diplo listening hipsters. And so our commercial is going to be 25-year-old Diplo listening hipsters. Diplo is like 44. How did Diplo get so timeless? I wonder. Well. He's got the beats that can't be beat. He's got beats by Dre.

But this will be exciting. I'm excited to take sips of this because we are the target demo. They want us. They don't want Zoomers who've never heard of Bartles and James. Right. This is like movies, like millennial reboots of muppets and stuff that we grew up with right they're hoping that we think bartles and james and then try it for our kids but although they're not turning down zoomer money i'm sure but i think that they are the stores they're turning it down

um so we look this up they've rebranded to a hip can they they they've they've got new flavors that are that are more millennial and they were very hard to find listeners listening to this episode simply won't find it i used the store locator went down to vernon california which i think is like where vici in season two of uh true detective is inspired by like a very. How far is that for you? It was like 20 minutes down past downtown into the industrial zone. Okay. I'd never heard of it before.

But I went to a Circle K, which is like a gas station you see in the south, not here. And it wasn't even a gas station. It was just like a normal brick and mortar location. And they had the cans. Brick and morty. Stop.

Mike's too early for that shit. Wait. i think about it it's funny brick and mortar rick and morty brick and morty there's something there there's no there there now at the time of searching for these bartles and jameses i didn't yet know that the original wine cooler bottles had been discontinued so i kept driving around looking for them i went to a couple like tiny independent liquor stores thinking that like would be the thing i even showed like clerks on my phone like this bottle and they were like no they don't we don't get that anymore like like an investigator i have you seen an investigator have you seen this bottle have you seen this and they're like they're loading the bag is no no get out of here dude i

wish i was rolling when i asked a um liquor store clerk i was like hey so when is the last time you had bartles and james and the guy like had like a rueful grin shook his head it was like bartles and james i haven't heard those names i don't know how long i haven't heard those names in quite a long time he looked wistful that's great i feel like it'd be like if you're talking to a liquor store guy and be like do you have a jug with the the two x's on it um but my my last ditch effort was i said okay i'm looking for an outdated product. Who would have it in stock after it's been discontinued? And remember a year ago on this very pod, I told you guys a story of a famed liquor store in Los Angeles where I saw ice cream cones with the expiration date 1992.

This was 2007. Well into the aughts. I saw ice cream cones dated 1992 so i went up there today first i looked for ice cream cones they don't have them anymore uh then i looked for barles and james didn't see it then i took out the picture on my phone showed the stock boy and he was like no he was mad i was bothering him he was he had a lot of stocking to do so sure they're gone cans are all we got i missed those bottles too those bulbous bottles yeah those those bottles

are really uh they look like michael lobes yeah i was unable to find this drink um but i got something else which i'll bring out when we hit segment two oh interesting but i got it in this i went to the grocery store and something i haven't been in a long time and i loved it which I'll bring out when we hit segment two. Ooh, interesting. But I got it in this. I went to the grocery store, and something I haven't been in a long time, and I loved it. It's like a beer cave. And you walk in past the plastic flaps,

and it's freezing cold in there. And I was kind of like, I got to find something quick. I'm freezing. I love it in the summer to go stand in that little walk-in. There's littered with other frozen bodies that didn't make it out of the beer cave but big smiles on their face because i beat the heat and because they're drunk um my dad's pizzeria and working in august i'd go back in there into the walk-in cooler close the door and just vibe man oh nice you could see the steam coming off of my green

skin i was uh i worked at my parents uh for a short time we're in and owned and operated a ice cream factory a small ice cream shop and they don't tell you what they don't tell you is that there's the ice cream freezer and then when you make ice cream the first thing you put it in is what's called a hardening room which is an even colder freezer to like shock it into a solid state and then you put it in a normal freezer wow so we'd be like working in the summer and kind of getting sweaty and then you walk into the hardening freezer and then steam would just dump off your body like upward it was it looked like mortal combat shit it was so you ever come out of that hardening freezer and your nips are hard

and all the the girls you uh work with are like oh look ooh, look at Jeff. Every time, man. Yeah. He could cut glass. Everything comes out hard. All right. All right. Look at your head. You're acting real hard-headed right now. Can we please leave this segment? Can we please?

Okay. This is maybe the longest segment one we've had in a while. I'm interested to see what Mike's mystery drink is, and I want to sink my teeth into this Bartles and James can. and what me and jeff have two flavors i don't remember what they are we're gonna go through it in the next part of the show all right folks we'll see you after the ads and we're back with bartles and james's you guys want to hear something kind of funny yeah i was thinking that morgan wallen song i i need something you prove when i was uh getting my cans just now i started saying myself i've been watching youtube

nice kind of funny nice nice watch feel free to laugh your friend makes a joke he's good he's got something going over there tim i'm so happy you found these this i'm holding a grapefruit and green tea and a cucumber and lime they also come in ginger and lemon and watermelon and mint interesting so ginger and all of them sound good to me cucumber and lime i get because it's like they were trying to do what is that you know like spa water, like a East side or South side or type of thing. Grapefruit and green teas could be good, but it just sounds funny. Like they were like, what are two? I don't know that they go together.

They were thinking like pomplemousse stuff, like LaCroix. And then they're thinking of green tea and they're like. But like they used to have 30, you know, cartoon colored flavors. And it was, they used to be the king of like fuzzy navel and strawberry daiquiri and pina colada and stuff yeah it's a beautiful can pastel stripes it's not a tall slim can interesting move they went with a normal like soda can style but looks like a montauk beer it looks like a montauk beer it says original bartles and James established 1984 Modesto, California. And yeah, this thing's got carbs in it.

It's got 10 carbs. So it's like a beer. Like, I don't, I don't assume this is a very popular drink these days, but it's kind of, it kind of makes me feel sad that they would just went with like a regular can.

Like, it's like, Oh, we don't have the budget to do a funny, cool glass or something. It's just like we don't have the budget to do a funny cool like glass or something it's just like put it in the can it truly seems like they don't have the budget it's like the explanation for so many of the choices they just didn't make a lot of these they they washed out some old coke cans this is um you know they need a sponsor who's gonna shine a light on them. Yeah, promo code boys. Somebody with some reach to the tune of 14,000 an episode.

12 ounces and alcohol is 4% by volume, so like a weaker beer, like a light beer. I guess akin to a seltzer probably. Let's crack them. Which flavor are you doing first, Jay? I'll do grapefruit. And wait, Mike, what's your deal? You're buried in your mobile

device! Now I got... I was looking up how many Patrons we got. You're all about the Benjamins, huh? I was able to get my hands on a Margaritaville strawberry daiquiri.

See, that looks like an old Bartles and James. Yeah, that's probably as close as you could get. Even the label. Electric red bubbly sugar. I don't even think it's bubbly. This has like no bubbles in it. Bartles and James, the old stuff was bubbly, right? I think so.

Malt beverage with natural flavor and certified color. Okay. We came across that before. What was that? It was that booze ball thing. Oh, We came across that before. What was that? It was that booze ball thing. Oh, buzz balls. Buzz ball. Oh, I saw buzz balls

up at that cheap liquor store today. We should do those. Yeah, we should do those. Okay, let's crack them. What are you doing first, Jay? Grapefruit, I think. Great. This smells like Kool-Aid.

4% alcohol. Oh, my God. That's a smell. Smells like a pompo mousse LaCroix. I think it God. That's a smell. Smells like a pomplamoose LaCroix. I think it smells stankier than that. Yeah, I guess it's stronger, but it does smell like grapefruit. Sips? Mm-hmm.

Interesting. Very interesting indeed. Not as sparkling as I thought. It's half bubbly i mean it's it's not it's no topo dry bubble overflow but i'll tell you this jay i don't know what you think but like the half bubbly the the half flat thing is a little strange but the taste here i'll give it this it's not the taste of all the seltzers. It's not chemically and it's not fake sweet. That sort of homogenized like all seltzer taste that all the seltzers have.

Now yours is malt or is it it's wine in there? Wine. Wine. That's pretty good. Premium wine cooler, wine specialty beverage so you know if you if you had a glass of rosé you put some ice in it and you topped it with some soda you would be feeling the amount of kind of what we're having and then just imagine a splash of grapefruit juice i'm not getting any green tea whatsoever but that's to be expected because it's such a mild flavor. It says here, contains carbonated water,

grape wine, cane sugar, natural flavors, and some other shit. I'm guessing this kind of what I'm drinking probably has the same it's like very sweet up top, and then it has chemical taste, and

there's a little bit of stingy taste. Stingy. I bet yours is sweeter than ours. Ours is sweet, but in a fruit juice way, not in a weird way. This is pretty syrupy.

It's not bad. I don't know when I would ever drink this outside of this show. Maybe they only made it for podcasters. That could be okay. Could be. Did you have any allegiances to... Let's think about

the malt beverages of our youth. We're talking the Smirnoff Ice, the Zima, the Tequiza. The 90s. Tequiza. Wait, what was that? I'm looking up Tequiza. Tequiza was a sort of Zima-esque. It was meant to be like sort of like a tequila.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tequiza. I was a Mike's Hard guy. Oh, interesting. I never had that. I had Smirnoff. I had Smirnoff. Smirnoff Ice.

And that's still around, right? Yeah, because they're icing everybody left and right. And there's also, I saw today, like Smirnoff Red White and Berry and like Smirnoff Ice has different varieties now. Those are, I have had like the Smirnoff seltzers that look like rocket pops or supposed to taste like rocket pops. Not bad. I mean, I remember liking, like when I first had a spirit off ice in like high school holy shit i loved it but i also remember loving zima now it's discontinued we'll never know but i bet zima was too sweet but i love the commercials have we talked about that before on the show where

it was in that super cut last summer i was just like vegging out and watching like these long two-hour super cuts of commercials beer commercials on uh youtube and when you catch one you know it's like amazing it's so exciting but zima had this one where it was like a kind of dank dark dive bar and everyone is stuck to their leather seats and then when you drink a zima, you can kind of like pop off. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's nuts. Unseal yourself from a leather booth. Zima. I wouldn't be surprised if Zima came back. Do we know who owns them?

I'm guessing Diageo or InBev or one of them. I mean, if this shit comes back, why not? Mike. Oh, I remember we were talking about Chi-Chi's the other day. Chi-Chi's did have a whole like row of uh like mixer bottles i saw those two little guys oh these are big like those big kind of plasticky ones oh i think i maybe got the big ones but i saw today a long island iced tea chichi little one that i wanted to buy i forgot to wow i've seen them that's wild there was uh man there's so

many different drinks and like you got the main ones that you all know. And then just the craziest, especially in this hard cider, hard seltzer avenue. I saw a nuts one today. Who's drinking Owl Creek, Owl Woods? I know. There's so much shit. You're not drinking Owl Woods. He's not drinking Owl Woods.

Something Owl. What was the one that, like, boom farms or whatever, like a fake one? Check this one out. Oh, Spindrift Spiked. Spindrift. That's like the 10th seltzer I would think of. The fact that Spindrift is doing Spiked is nutty to me. What's the one where you bubble up the seltzer in your home?

Oh, I have one. Soda stream. That'd be funny if there was a hard soda stream. It'd be great. Soda stream. Soda burg. Tim, you want to crack the next cucumber line? Yeah, and then after that, remind me I got a funny story about soda. Here we go.

Got a funny story about soda. Here we go. Cucumber lime. Tougher to crack this flavor. I guess I didn't realize Margaritaville made a... Smells like a pickle. Why do they... These are stanky. This one stinks.

Fully, that smells bad. The other one stank. The other one was... Somebody farted in my can. I pranked you. Wait, you said it smells like a pickle over there? Oh, my God. The first one smelled at least a little bit grapefruity.

This one. Truly a cucumber farted in here. Smells like garbage. Rotten cucumber. And now the taste. And now the taste. Tastes like a pickle. Can't be beat.

Tastes like a half-sour pickle. Don't be swayed by the smell. Tastes like a frog, like a frog bog. At least these do taste like they are a drink. I might not love the flavor, but it does feel like, oh, this, the flavor is the result of an actual process and not like yeah a 3d printer printing fucking seltzer into a can for sure every other brand right it's not entirely the work of flavorists this one i can't say i like that frog taste but it does taste you're right it's like someone took real ingredients and made a bad drink as opposed to some flavor as cooked up like toasted marshmallow seltzer.

This does taste like a bog. Ugh. Frog bog. What flavor was that again? It's also got green. Like, it's a really pale green looking can. Cucumber or lime. Oof.

Nasty stuff. Mine is fucking amphibious piss. Oh. The cute that makes you puke. It smells so bad I can't get past the smell. That's crazy. If you think like amphibian and you smell it, it smells like the little fucking...

Yeah, it does. It smells like a pet store, like lizard cage. Ew. Yeah. It smells like sc pet store, like lizard cage. Ew. Yeah. It smells like scum. Pawn scum. Tadpole City, baby. I don't know about this.

I just don't know. I'm still sipping it. I can't. Tim, plug your nose and sip it. Okay, I'm going to plug my nose and sip it. Finish it for the pod. Oof. Way better with the nose plugged i didn't get as much muck oh boy i i went when i was in uh upstate new york last week i went swimming in a fishing hole very fun and then my bathing suit afterwards had this kind of like slimy film over it and that's kind of what this smells like. Ooh.

Nasty stuff. He's a nasty boy. You guys ever get a leech on you? No. I know, but I watched Stand By Me and the boy. One of my biggest fears as a kid was leeches. Ticks. Ticks. Bloodsuckers.

Vampires. Vampires. Okay, so my story my story about soda you want to hear it soda yes make it quick we got a lot to do here oh yeah I joined a lot of clubs and stuff in high school I had a small high school you could do any club you want you know I wanted to play sports I could play sports I wanted to be in the play

Max Fisher styleys but it was also just easy because it was like you want to play baseball play baseball there's only 250 kids in the school here you go here's a mitt um one thing i did i had a friend in the math club and i joined the math club and this is a catholic high school so the math club was run by sister john rose who's probably deep down in hell by now but uh that's a mean thing to say i'm gonna say heaven anyway she was a mean nun and she uh said she's from new york or new jersey or something she said soda instead of soda so she'd be like okay you got to do all your math problems and when you're done we have cookies and soda and uh and i was like i was like cookies and what and she's like this is in front of like

30 other kids it's like soda i was like could i have my can i have this soda now and she didn't know because that's how you say the word right yeah yeah so i was like can i have some soda and she's like no and i was like what i can't and she's like no i was like what can i have and she's like soda and then everybody was giggling and i was a fucking begot man and she's like no I was like what can't I have and she's like solder and then everybody was giggling and I was a fucking begot man and she said Mr. Kalpakis bend over right now I'm grabbing my firmest ruler

right as we speak that's right lady Mr. Klapis Mr. Klapis one day this town will be yours but it's a funny thing when someone mispronounces a word you can say it back to them because they don't know they're saying. But it's a funny thing when someone mispronounces a word, you can say it back to them because they don't know they're saying it wrong.

It's great. Right. But it's so funny, like she's heard someone say soda before, but she just chooses to say soda. I'm thinking she's so dumb.

Yeah. See, Mike, a lot of these people are so deep in their disillusions that like they can't even see them. Yeah, I told her,

you got to reframe your whole way of thinking, lady. Uh-huh. Okay, that was the Soder story. Damn. All right, folks, we're going to take five. And when we come back, we're going to rank them.

Are the ads really five minutes? Oh, folks, you got to get over the... Yeah. You got to get over the... I don't know. Patreon. You got to get over the... Yeah. You gotta get over the... I don't know. Patreon. You gotta get over that Patreon. Woo! We're 1900 strong over there.

You'll be loved and accepted. Good group, too. You gotta be over the slophead group. It's giving the edge. Be right back. And we're back with final thoughts on Bartles and James, parentheses, 2018, the reboot. And Margaritaville. My final thought.

Yeah, go ahead. I'm not a huge fan of the one that smells like frog muck. The grapefruit green tea, not bad. If somebody handed me this at a pool party i would drink it i like knowing it's made of wine overall i'm sad that the bartles and james of my youth is discontinued however i understand no one buys sugary soda drinks anymore so that's the free market and i would like to plug that i i remembered that when we were writing our first sloppy boys album lifelong vacation i wrote a song called bartles and james those were the first one wow for the first album i found this uh email chain just now that's from uh actually december 2017 and the very same week mike that you wrote uh he he uh michael jackson and emailed that out

to us and then i wrote an early version of sand anna wins that didn't make the album that wasn't finished yet yeah i i sent you guys this song called bartles and james i think we should end today's episode by playing the demo so the slides can hear hear. Of course. Very fun. That's great. Well, Tim, what do you think of this? Oh, you said you don't like the drink. I would drink the grape for one if it was given to me. Not an order again, not a Stone Cold Classic. If handed at a pool party.

I don't like these. It's a big whiff, unfortunately. Like, I am rooting for them. I thought this would have been a cool thing to like. I would have loved to be on the ground floor of uh bartles and james 2.0 yeah but um it's a big misfire i even bought i even have some white claws because i was like i want to be able to round two like maybe sip a white claw and be able to compare no comparison needed those like these taste unlike different beverage for better or

worse they taste very unlike your normal seltzers um agreed so maybe as a curiosity try them um but otherwise better luck next time barles and james it's kind of like how could it be good like they bring it back and like people are like oh yeah barles and james we love this stuff now it's uh it's no i know what you mean like i want it to be big it could be good just seeing it in the can like nobody can find it that's you gotta drive to vernon to get this stuff that's their new tagline everyone in america has to drive to vernon get down to vernon i think you could order sold. They didn't test them, sold in Vernon. I was on Instacart today, and they had a four-pack of the Barry,

Bartles and James flavor in the glass. The picture was in the glass. I was like, oh, this is great. And I ordered it, and an hour later, it was like, order canceled. Couldn't be found. Of course. I guess I feel bad for the the marketing people bartles and james

doesn't matter you know the the name is all that you had to go on yeah you didn't even have to make it be wine derivative right you could just come up with a good thing and call it bartles and james seltzer yes everyone else and just do it like slightly good or slightly different That's all you needed to do Yeah just make a White Claw and call up Bartles and James Also the fact that this is slightly lower ABV when White Claw and other People are coming out with like Surge

They're so not paying attention to what's going on Whiffed Big whiff And this Margaritaville Strawberry Daiquiri is I won't have these ever again, but... It's almost gone. It's kind of fun. It's got a parrot.

Yeah, it's almost gone. I feel no buzz whatsoever. Did you just pull one Lucy and they let you buy it just like that? No, I got a four pack. Ah, that sucks. Yeah. Well, you've heard of the Bartles. You guys have heard of Bartles and James.

Sure. Yeah. But have you heard of the Bartles. You guys have heard of Bartles and James. Sure. Yeah. But have you heard of the Bartles or James quiz? Oh, no. But I'm very curious. No. This is a certain quiz

where you're going to either be thinking Bartles or James when you hear these questions. You guys ready? Yeah, readies I'll ever be. Blurt out the answers. You don't have to buzz in. You don't have to say your name or anything.

Just blurt. Okay. Question one. Cowabunga. This little yellow dude does not want you to have a cow. Bartles. Bartles. I get what's going on.

Jeff wins it. Bart. What the fuck I said it first Tim when you said Cowabunga My brain went in a Completely different direction

And I was able to Steer it right back To Simpsons Mine too Now wait a minute We're saying Bartles or James I said Bartles

Mike the quiz Speaks for itself Tim question two How about the The answers aren't Bartles or James That's what Inspired

The words Sounds of the word Bartles I don? The answers aren't Bartles or James. That's what inspired the word, the sounds of the word. All right, well, of course I know that's Bart Simpson. I don't think his name is Bartles Simpson. Well, just say Bart Simpson and it just answered the question. Okay, so the answers are not, it's not Bartles or James. You just answered the question. Great. Now I give the point to Jeff.

Is that wrong? It's whatever you want to do. I feel more right. Jeff has one. Okay, here we go move over moby dick according to herman melville this little dude is one hell of a scrivener bartleby yes michael that was a melville short story my god did you. Jeff, did you know Bartleby the Scribner was a Melville short? No.

Okay. No. Moving on. Moby Dick also very poorly received when it first came out. Yes. Oh, as opposed to now. I can't walk down the street without hearing kids talk about Moby Dick. Well received. Now it's sort of my white whale in a way.

But you guys are getting a theme, Bartleby. It's just the sounds are present, but it could be whatever. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Here we go. Hello, everybody. This big fat idiot hosts the Late Late Show. Gordon.

James Gordon. James Gordon. There you go. Michael with two, Jeff with one. That's your opinion, by the way. That is your opinion. Okay, next question. Here we go.

This host of the Tonight Show is from my home county. Jimmy Fallon. There you go. Jeff is on the board. James Fallon, also known as Jimmy Fallon. Also known, yeah. Okay. Okay.

This late night host helps organize the annual Feast san genaro jimmy kimmel is correct james kimbley kimbley boosh this rastafarian appropriating college rock acoustic bro band that is known for the song that was a crazy game of poker has a name that has the same letters as this watery paddle.

Or or or Mike you got that huh? I got that one. It could also be a woody paddle. Because the paddle's not watery. Put to good use it certainly is. I got that one. It could also be a woody paddle. Yeah. Because the paddle's not watery.

Well, it's covered in water. Put to good use, it certainly is. Yeah, damn good use. And finally, Rockabye Sweet Baby, this word is in a James Taylor song. Rockabye Sweet Baby, this word is... This word is in a James Taylor song. James? song. James? Yes. Well, Mike, you've won the Bartles or James quiz.

Congratulations. Thank you very much. What's the word in the James Taylor song? Rockabye Sweet Baby James. Oh, I thought it was Jane. Nope. He's talking about himself? You're thinking of Sweet Jane jane yeah hmm you know i

would have done tim i would have done a little uh a little uh this heavy metal band is led by hetfield metallica that's right sure that's cool. Mike, you won the quiz. Congratulations. You get all the scratch-off money of the week. Thank you. Thank you very much. We collect it every week, and this week I get it for the scratch-off. Yes, yes, yes. As your prize, Mike, you can stick around and hear my Bartles and James song demo from 2017.

Perfect. I'll do that. Can I go? Honored guest? Jeff, you're free to leave. I'm sad I didn't win the quiz. I was off to a strong start, and then... I was happy that Mike pulled away

because I don't think I was keeping score very accurately, so if it was close, I could have... You would have to count. Yeah. I know I got two points. Thank you. Oh, I got that down okay

well I did great then that's our show follow us on social media at the sloppy boys where we release these recipes ahead of time also check out our patreon where you can

listen to the sloppy boys blowout our weekly bonus episode and our monthly bonus episode questions for Lennon who do we got in the pipeline there Michael

what month are we on here oh July was Neil Campbell okay Questions for Leonard. Who do we got in the pipeline there, Michael? What month are we on here? Oh. July was Neil Campbell. Okay. I was hoping to get the scoop on who was next. We're out to a few people. Some agents and managers are getting in my way, and I will have them. Red tape.

Running interference. No, no. Yeah, running interference. Not my client. My client doesn't want to be on this bullshit. Bullshit. Oh. Oh, God.

I call bullshit on you. Well, that's patreon.com slash sloppy voice. Good episode, guys. Great stuff. I love it. I think so. And then better luck next time. Gallo Company Corporation.

We're looking forward to your next product. Somebody use the word wine cooler. It's a very pleasant sounding beverage You just gotta make a good one It's got It always That word always makes me think of like Rosé pink, that color

Refreshing, light Have we done rosé in this Damn podcast? Rosé all day Rosé the Riveter Bart bartleby the scrivener rosie from the jetsons mr j yeah mr j wait is mr j what did she say mr j i know harley quinn says mr j but that's just the amount of pot smoke that's coming out of your fucking car, they ought to call you Mr. J. Who says Mr. J?

Mr. J, that's Harley Quinn. Alright, goodbye folks. Harley Quinn, Jeff, that's one of your faves. No, no, but I swear Rosie says Mr. J as well. Alright, alright. Alright, alright. We should dress as Harley Quinn for Halloween.

Ooh, yeah. As a reference to Hubie Halloween. Now, yeah, are we doing a Suicide Squad version, or are we doing a Batman animated series? Because that is actually a more accurate depiction from the comic books. You're going to have to be more specific. Can I go? Later.

Bye, folks. Can I go? Later Bye folks Bartles and James Bartles and James You better remember Both of our names Bartles and James Bartles and James You better remember Both of our names Well my name's Bartles And James, Bartles and James, you better remember both of our names.

Well, my name's Bartles. And my name's James. You better remember both of our names. Because once you sip a drink, you'll never be the same. You're going to go, ooh, Bartles and James. How about a bottle for Bartle And the same for James Ooh, you gave me a start. Ooh, I'm so ashamed.

Bartles and James. Bartles and James. Bartles and James. Bartles and James. Now let's bring it down and keep it tame We'll reminisce about the flavors that brought us our fame Where there's fuzzy navel and mojito too Margarita, sangria, daiquiri That's true

Pina colada, an exotic berry or two Pomegranate razz Um, yeah, that'll do. James Bartles and James Bartles and James You better remember Both of our names Everyone else ain't shit Yes, that's our claim You heard it right here

From Bartles and James Everyone else should drop dead Yes, that's our aim You heard it here first From Bartles and James You heard it here first From Bartles and James You heard it here first from Bottles and James. You heard it here first from Bottles and James. You heard it here first from Bottles and James.

Bottles and James. Bottles and James. Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys