The Sloppy Boys - 96. Sidewalk Slammer

Episode Date: August 19, 2022

The guys get their asses kicked by an oft-requested concoction.SIDEWALK SLAMMER RECIPE40oz bottle of Malt Liquor23.5oz can of Four LokoDrink or dump half the contents of a 40oz malt liquor bottle. Add an entire Four Loko into the bottle. Gently move the bottle side to side to mix. Enjoy in the bottle. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford. Jeff, I'm not in the mood. And Tim Kalpakis. What is up? And we are coming at you live. Live.

L.A. Los Angeles. Hot L.A. All together in one room in hot L.A. And Mike is not in the mood. I'm not in the mood for this heat. I am not in the mood for the sticky, sticky,

swampy heat. And we turned off the A.C. We turned off the A.C. So I'm not happy about that. But the audio quality is impeccable. It's perfect. Perfect. All in the same room.

How are you liking the coast, Mike? Oh, my God. The coast is beautiful. We're heading out to Tam O'Shanter tonight, so I'm very excited about that. Everyone does. On a hot summer day, you go into a Scottish pub and eat a steak. Yeah. Nasty.

Nasty, marrowy, bone steak. Hot potato. That's going to be good, though. That is going to be good. And I've made a reservation for indoors because the AC will be on there. Cavey vibes. I like that.

Cavey vibes, yeah. Stalagmites and stalactites. Hey, and speaking of, well, Walt Disney, we all know, modeled the Seven Dwarfs house after the Tam O'Shanter. Hi-ho, hi-ho. And ate there with his little drawing buddies, the animators. Right. Yeah, and

if you want to hear me elaborate on it, listen to my episode of Podcast the Ride. Oh, or maybe don't worry about that. Save all your podcast listening for right here, folks, or go on to the Patreon. True, that show sucks. Those guys, bad. But hey, Mike and I watched Fantasia last night.

That's right. Fantasia 2000? No, 1000. And it was two hours long. Yep. Long. A lot of the things are about, it's very cool.

And it's made in the 40s and all the animation is insane for that era. The day. But a lot of the little segments are like about the morning and then going into the night. Like cyclically. Or spring into, yeah. Yep. It's about a transitional phase.

It's about Fantasia. Now, you guys watching Fantasia, can I inquire about maybe perhaps the mental state you were in? No. Please, no. You were under control. You were clean, clean, clear. We got a clear self-mindset. Two guys sitting in folding chairs, really close to the TV, looking right at it, sober. Took all the paintings off the walls.

No smoke floating around anywhere. No, no, no way. But here's the catch. All the while, broke in the shower. Oh. Hector hadn't arrived yet. Have you guys showered yet? Yes.

Yes. Good. Immediately after, full disclosure to the listener, after we record this sidewalk slammer episode, we're recording our Patreon episode where we're going to smell each other, right? Yeah. And I got really scared that maybe you guys hadn't showered. I was going to be smelling a couple of stinkos. No, no, no.

Nice. So, folks, you got to get on that Patreon so you can listen to the cologne episode. Also, this drink is going to make us so drunk, I'm going to get sweaty. You guys are going to get some pheromones from me. And we're going to doubt our olfactory senses. No, I would never. I would never. Plus, we have COVID, so we can't smell.

Yeah, right, right, right. Three COVIDs. Hey, COVID is out there strong still Yeah people getting it. Fuck it hey Go Fefe. It is. It's the real deal When is this going away? But hey for now Monkeypox clear all three of us Good. Yeah. That's a scary one too

Careful everyone out there. Be careful Don't go outside Don't touch or talk to anyone Yeah. You know what I thought? I thought chicken pox and monkey pox were like P-O-X. Right. That's how it is. Sure.

But I thought each welt was a pock. They're not? P-O-C-K. But no, I think pox is like a pox on both your houses. Like pox is just a disease. It's not a plural. Oh, I see what you're saying. Like you don't have a bunch of pox. I'm like, have a chicken pock gotcha gotcha gotcha so what do you have

a blemish of pox relation chicken pox one pock is a pock what is a pock i wonder what each individual pocket pockmark pockmark pockmark pockmark pockmark pockmark pockmark no poxmark poxmark poxmark no wait i bet it's just a different it's like pox lesion yeah exactly because it's like what's like when skittles came out and says an individual piece of skittles candy is not called a skittle it's called a skittles lentil that's true and uh monkey pox did come out and say it's called oh skittles is one of my faves oh bad news about skittles the people came out and say it's called a monkeypox lentil. Ooh, Skittles is one of my faves. Mm-mm. Oh, bad news about Skittles.

People came out and said it's bad. Oh, right. There's like titanium in it. Skittles are bad. It's got titanium in it or something. Well, how many do you have to eat? I mean, how many do you eat a year? Nine? Yeah, you're supposed to eat nine.

I eat... I do with Skittles what you do with ribeyes. 30. Okay. 30 Skittles a year for me half a pack that's acceptable um i do them all on january 1st oh i ruined it do you uh buy a full wait what flavor skittles there's like those pastel ones you get those no i do just the regular red yeah and when i do i pour them out in my hand and i separate the colors and do bites of the same

color huh get the full effect you're like one of those um backstage roadie that's right guys my writer my writer i saw something at uh did we talk about this i've been talking to a lot of people about this you know those little mixes you can get? You take a bottle of water, and then you take a packet of Gatorade powder or lemonade powder. They had Skittles powder. That's going to make your drink taste like Skittles. I've got to get that. You've got to get that. Here's something we've got to get, too.

When you said a separating amount, it reminded me of... You know that brand of bar-mixed snack mix called like gira delis or not not the yeah yeah gira gerardinis the the the rye garlic rye chips are delicious yeah and you can buy just the baggage i saw those just rye chips because i do checks mix bold Mix bold. Oh, yeah. You know, bold. Love it. Not enough rye chips, though. You need a lot of rye chips. I love a little wooden bowl of bar mix.

How fun is that? That is, I think, traditionally, like the most contaminated area in a bar. Yeah, bar. That's where the cans are going. Bar, yeah. I took a little sample from inside the toilet. I pushed the turds out of the way. I took a sample. Then I went to the Chex Mix, and I pushed the turds out of the way. I took a sample. Then I went to the Chex Mix and I pushed the turds out of the way in there.

Sampled them out, sent it to the lab. Tie. Still. Nasty stuff. Hey, speaking of backstage stuff, we got a tour coming up. Oh, that's right. We should do some crazy backstage rider shit. And also, thanks to everybody.

We should have some backstage Bettys. I don't know. You two are my backstage Bettys. I'm your dirty Diana. No, Billie Jean. Billie Jean is not my brother. And me? Super Freak.

Yeah. Folks. Are these famous roadies or groupies? Well, the one I was talking about is a very kinky girl. The kind you don't take home. I see. I see. I see. Mother.

And hey, thanks to everybody for coming out to Highland Park. Woo woo. That was fun. Oh boy. Oh my God. What a fun show in LA. And then in September, starting on the 6th, every night in a row, we're tearing up the coast.

San Diego, Costa Mesa, Long Beach, LA, Oakland, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver. Tim! Mine's like a trap. I feel like a cartographer. Wow. I feel like a Marigo Vespucci. So I start that and go, okay, where are we starting? Okay, San Diego, then Arizona?

Oh, boy. Rand McNally, you are not. Yeah. Rand McFaulty. Well, that's nice catching up with you guys bye goodbye yes no it's time for booze news Love it. It's Booze News, you glasses-wearing, undercut-headed jackasses. Booze News Dubstep was sent to us by Mitch on the Web, who also hooked us up with today's top Booze News story.

If you have a Booze News theme, by the way, subscribe. Wait, no. What's my line? If you have a booze news theme, email it to thesloppyboyspodcast at gmail.com. Nice. Nice. But then speaking of subscribing,

subscribe to the Patreon if you want to meet people like Mitch on the web and talk Sloppy Boys. Mitch on the web, been a fan for a long time. We met him in Philly. You're a fan of him? I'm a him in Philly you're a fan of him? I'm a fan of him he's a fan of us it's all very cyclical

all very mutual and that snake sucking his own tail that would be a good Fantasia segment yes the circularity Dubstep came up recently

we were talking about the difference how dub factors into dubstep yeah and somebody sent me the explanation and I read it and.

It must've been a thrill in that moment though. It was fun. It was a really good moment. I remember where I was sitting. At a rave. Can I remember? Keep it down. I'm trying to read up on this stuff.

I didn't remember. Take an M, Tim. Take an X even. MDMA. Oh, is there anything wrong with this? Molly? I don't think. Oh, oh, oh. Is it called M? Is there a Zola with this? Molly?

I don't think anybody calls it M. Molly Shannon is a superstar. Yeah. Do people call weed W? They should. I got some W. It has to be that joint of W, man. If you're flying the W.

Watch the Fantasia movie. Yeah, yeah. W is always a weird abbreviation because it's longer than, you know, like George W. Bush. Just say George Walker Bush. Right. Oh. W is a weird one. W.

Three syllables. Walker. Two syllables. And if you look at it, it's not a W. It's a double V. Yeah, exactly. And this guy was a great president. Just iron out the name thing. Misunderstood.

That's all. Yeah. That's all. Yeah. He's great now because we had a great president. Just iron out the name thing. Misunderstood. That's all. That's all. Yeah. He's great now because we had a worse one. Yeah. Obama. Watch yourself. Careful, buddy.

We don't get political here. Don't get political with me. Not during booze news. The only time I get political is in the voting booth. I get it all out of my system. I don't know who I'm voting for, which party I like until I step into that booth. i think it over i'm like well let's see what are the names here what are the funny names to pick okay booze news top story booze guess who came out with a spiked version of their water mitch on the web spin drift uh shit arrowhead uh here's you guys are kind of basics

you're thinking oh normal waters normal waters You're not thinking of coconut waters. That's right. Vita-coco. Vita-coco? Vita-coco? Probably vita like vitamin or vita like life. Coco. Living the vita-coco.

Vita-coco. Yes. I've had it. It's great. It comes in a box. Vita-coco. Right. So this is the, well, yeah yeah their normal stuff is the the kind

of cartony one yeah and i'm looking at pictures of the tall slim can but you had a spiked one in a box no no i've never had the spikes oh right i like the i like uh zico oh nice zico oh jesus that's a sort of theme with these coconut. They got two ways to say other names. Zika virus. Remember that one? Don't remind me. Okay. So this is the first coconut water to be spiked, and it's spiked with Captain Morgan. Oh, wow.

The flavors are lime mojito, pina colada, and strawberry daiquiri. They're coconut water with rum in them. What do you think? What do you know? That sounds like they do. I don't. Hold on. Let me back up.

This coconut water craze that has been happening for 20 years. Do we like this stuff? I take a sip of it. I'm like, oh, coconut water. I take a sip. I go, nah, it's not for me. I don't like these cartons. I like the Zyko one.

Yeah. In a bottle. Really cold. We've got to be cold. Sure sure it's a good hangover i'll buy it before i know i'm gonna have a big night and just the thought of it in my fridge while i'm out at night makes me say tim you have that extra shot yeah it might be like just marketing but i've heard of it uh i've heard it's like super hydrating especially if it's got if it's a little pink that's i mean that's a good sign really and if you so if you get like a harmless harvest that's when you see a lot of that's that's a good quality

coconut i'll drain them well i've seen it says on this carton it'll say like double hydration so if you drank a water versus you could drink half the amount of coconut water and get the same if you drink water you're wasting your time yeah the coconut water out of a coconut is good oh yeah oh yeah that was the first time i had it was a place in silver lake where i was like one coconut I see. The coconut water out of a coconut is good. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The first time I had it was a place in Silver Lake where I was like, one coconut water, they cracked open a coconut, poured it into a little bag. Oh. Remember, you know, like sometimes the fruit cart guys will do that to you. Like just give you something loose in a bag like a taco truck does with a carrot sometimes.

Yeah. I was drinking. I had a straw in a clear Ziploc bag. That's nice. Timmy. When a taco truck gives me the bag of carrots or radishes or something, I'm like, oh, thanks. Where's the garbage?

I'll just take it back. No, no. I'll throw away. Timmy, your wedding, you had coconut drinks. Did you not? I did. We had Thai young coconuts. Yeah, the kind of white ones that are already kind of the outside shaved off. Oh, yes.

Putting multicolored straws right in there. And we also had Mai Tais and people got a little crunk off of them. That was fun. We were crunkified that night. You challenged me. You challenged me that night. You said, you can't drink that much. That was my vows. I challenged Mike.

You did your thing with Jessica.ica you said okay and then you turned to me and said you think you could drink more than i'll drink you to the table and i am now pronounced husband i told you guys that night the craziest thing ever we after the reception was done we walked over to like a dive bar next door for like another hour of just fun but you want to feel like a celebrity walk into a normal bar in a tux in a wedding dress with a bride with a bride people i had four tequila shots right in a row and i said i've still got to consummate this fucking but it's pretty crazy like everyone looks at you like you're you're a celebrity it's so cool yeah yeah you could do if you want to get free drinks

just wear a wedding dress and walk into bars all the time. You know, the same thing, same kind of idea. I've heard this, people who have, you know, those big fluffy dogs, Akitas maybe? Yeah. Big, like, huge bright white dogs. You walk down the street with one of those, everyone's looking at that dog.

It's a big white cloud. You want to get looks? Buy a dog. Yeah, you went from bride to like well i can't get a bride i'll get a dog but i could get a purebred akita dog the tough thing with uh the bride thing is she can have a wedding dress and maybe she she goes off on her own yeah just she did that night by the way just but just she went home with a guy she met out with some friends. If you have a wedding gown, throw one on and maybe get some tear-streaked mascara. Go out to the bar.

You're the star of the show. You would get a full meal from her. He stood me up. A guy, you go out in a tux with the tears, they just think you're a guy crying in a tux. You go, I stood her up. Because a tux doesn't mean groom automatically. No. No.

But it means important. Captain of business. Captain of business. Captain of industry. Yeah, people were trying to network with you anyway. What do you think of the shipping news? Well, I also, I made sure to look special because I wear a tux and I had like a flower in my lapel. But I had you guys, my groomsmen, just wear black suits so that I would really pop. Yeah.

I tried to, I was almost going to wear a white suit that I would really pop. I tried to... I was almost going to wear a white suit. That would be cool. You can. Like Mark Twain. Well, not if you're someone's groomsman. If any groomsmen are virgins, they have to wear a white suit. Oh, then I guess

good thing I wore a deep dark black. I've sucked and fucked. You go to the tux shop. What's the darkest you have? Give me two times darker. I should have worn my green suit, but I didn't have it. Two times darker? I don't know, man. It's a black suit.

Black hole. Super black. Alright, is that it for Booze News? Yeah, I think I said all I needed to say about that. What video game is that? Bombs away. It's from life. It's from life. Folks, today we're talking about the Sidewalk Slammer.

This is an often requested drink. It's coming from you folks at home. From the Slopheads. I had never heard of it before Slopheads said, you should desave McSlamvey's meat. I've never heard of it. I'm going to put this as a never heard, never had. I've never had. That's for damn sure. I've heard just through the podcast

but as we've said, it's like we're doing the podcast. We don't, we can't just hear about the drugs. Right. It's a very popular request. In my private life, I haven't heard of this. And you like to keep business and personal pretty separate. That's right.

I don't even know where you go when you leave here. My car picks you up and you vanish into the night. I go home with my wife and children. You've got like nine kids. Very, very religious. When's the first time you'd heard of this? Was it from the Discord? From more like Twitter and Instagram.

People forwarding me Instagram stories or people on Twitter flat out requesting this? Yeah, because we didn't go to college during 4Loco. We were fresh to LA, I think. We missed it by mere moments. Mere moments. I remember Sparks, the energy drink malt liquor. That was discontinued because it was so clearly marketing

to young women to put in their purses. And as we learn... Why was it to put in purses? I think that the ad campaign was like, it's cute colors and it goes in your purse. Weird. And as we learned, it's problematic to put caffeine and uppers in your malt liquor because it masks the intoxication. Right. Cause I think I heard that like four loco is like having the original four loco was like four beers and a cup of coffee.

And too many people were driving because they, the cop, the caffeine part made them feel like they're okay. So it was a bumper car situation. They're crashing the way home. It's a speed ball. So yeah. When did, what happened?

They switched the recipe to stay on the market, right? Yeah, November 17th, 2010, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration issued a warning letter to four manufacturers. One of them was for Loco, saying that caffeine added to their malt beverages is an unsafe food additive. And so they had to change it and they did

in december 2010 a reformulated version hit the shelves and so they just like messed with the numbers a little bit but it still has caffeine and it still has a lot of it seems like it it says that the caffeine guarana and taurine from the original drink had been replaced by food coloring agent red 40 now i don't think that's the entire story though agent red 40 they seem like two entirely different things yeah that was that's so so i think what we're saying is it's still like four beers because it's a it's a tall it's a big tall boy can and i think it's like eight or nine percent but they got the red bull taurine shit out of there yeah so okay so it just doesn't have the taurine it doesn't have the wake-up factor

it's just boozy it's caffeine, but not energy drink shit. Taurine is the Red Bull stuff. Okay, now malt liquor. You guys have had, you've heard all that. It's basically, it's very beer-esque, but it's like malt, you know, like a malted grain or whatever the fuck. It's like a skeleton key.

How so? It can taste like anything. It's like a skeleton key. How so? It can taste like anything. There's a lot of stuff out there that's malt liquor. Well, yeah, because, I mean, malt beverages include all the seltzers and all the fucking Bartles and Jameses. So is it, like, not natural, though? Like, is it still made from a grain? It's made from sugar, right? It just has that middle step of, it's like malt i guess i think

of malted milk balls that's all i think of right yeah but like whoppers but that doesn't apply here so what am i doing throw me a fucking line it's very clear that your family had a chocolate shop that you didn't say whoppers you said malted milk balls you use them as an ingredient whopper brand malted milk balls for me. It's malt. I'm going to get reamed online for not knowing the difference, but it's malt. I'm going to look it up. It's grain that's been processed into malt.

What grain? Specify the grain. Grain! Air waves of it from sea to shining sea. See, I don't understand because malt liquor is usually cheaper, right? Yeah, because malt's cheap. It processed so oh what the fuck but here i'm thinking if there's an extra step that's why i'm just gonna get so reamed over this and this is the shit i hate don't worry about it i love what i love about malt liquor is that i like knowing it was marketed heavily in like they had hip-hop sponsors in the 90s and like ice cube was pushing

it stuff like that i don't want to be corrected about what malt is you know what if people are correcting about malt and they get worked up over it that's their thing that's their thing i should let them have that let them have that but like billy d williams was like the the spokesman for colt 45 and he was very classy like 70s 80s and then it's saint ides i watched a good youtube video about how saint ides like went after like dr dre and stuff and was like we want saint ides to be the hip-hop malt liquor and that really worked and then it spread to other malt liquor brands thanks to saint ides marketing interesting because i remember the big ones were old English and Colt 45.

Yeah. And I think it was from like rap videos and stuff. When we were in college. Yeah, yeah. Those are the big two. Yeah. Did you find a malt thing there? I mean, it's one of these like, you know,

every square is a rectangle, but not every rectangle is a square type situation. The first explanation I found that made me chuckle said what is malt liquor versus beer beer is either top fermented or bottom fermented while malt liquor is only bottom fermented fuck off fuck you we don't know what that means but there's uh it seems like malt liquor is stronger or can be stronger than yes that's what we're getting at those guys are strong you can drink less than they get all fucked up i first heard of a 40 ounce when i watched the movie kids right right right

right um you know i tried to uh try to find that again recently because i remember seeing it as like a younger person now i was like what was that movie that that crazy because it was a crazy it fucked me up but i was kind of a sheltered boy. Yeah, but I couldn't find it. I'll find it for you. You come over to my place. We're here. Well, you come back in the bedroom.

He just handed me the DVD. Here you go. But I found it. I went to Amazon. I just wrote in kids. And it was just all kids shows. Oh, it's hard to Google. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Bebe's Kids. Kids Incorporated. You got to do like kids, it was just like all kids shows oh it's hard to google yeah yeah baby's kids kids incorporated you got to do like kids parentheses 1995 harmony kareem yeah even that corinne oh wait kareem i thought i thought it was a film by larry clark is it not hormonal uh one of them wrote it one of them yeah harmony wrote it as like an actual teenager he was like a cameron crowe situation right right i'm a baby okay so we've talked about for a logo we talked about fucking malt liquor if you take your 40 you walk out onto the sidewalk in front of the liquor store you bought it from that's we're learning this is like a liquor store with a yellow sign and a black lettering that says liquor yeah yeah and you kind of like the waffle house yeah

exactly you could do this you could do this recipe with hash browns and an egg if you don't this but you take your 40 you drink it down halfway you pour your four loco into it you get drunk on the sidewalk that's a sidewalk slammer you could also just mix them together in a cup do whatever you want but i thought that this when the slop heads were requesting it i was like oh this is the new steez i hadn't heard of when i looked around i didn't find a definitive history but i i checked like its first mentions on reddit its first mentions on youtube and stuff and i found it in 2010 so it's basically been around as long as for loco that makes sense yeah okay or that was when you said the for loco re-re uh formulated yeah so most

of the blurbs i found on this were like there's blogs that are like total frat move dot blogs yeah exactly they're all that the stuff that i found is bloggy it's i mean it's it's fratty it's collegey and it's it's dairy and we're gonna get fucked fucked up. I don't, I can't do that. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Or drug awareness, resistance, education.

Um, but if a 40, so I bought us, I went out to one of these liquor stores we're talking about assorted forties, assorted forties. I got a King Cobra. Oh yeah. I got a Mickey's great.

And I got an old English and the old English kind of has a big wider glug mouth on it. It's like it's 42 ounce. Then I found three four locos. Fruit Punch was red. Then Gold didn't really say a flavor. Oh boy. I've heard of Gold. It's kind of like the Bud Light Seltzer model. Yeah, they just

invented a flavor. I bet it tastes like malt liquor probably. And then I was hoping to have like a citrusy one but all i then the other one was watermelon which is will be these are gonna be so weird nasty um and but so like if a four loco is like four beers and then a 40 is kind of like four beers we're essentially gonna kind of gonna have like eight beers, I guess. Jeez, I haven't seen a Four Loko in forever. Are four beers big? No, it's a double tall.

It's a 24-ounce can, but it's double the ABV of a beer. Gotcha. So a 40-ounce is also like a higher, you know, because beer is like between 4% and 5% like macro brew light beer. Yeah. And then these are more like 8% or 9%. I think Four Loko might be like 12%. We'll see all this when we're drinking. so this will be fun after like the spaghetti and the

ranch water sort of like a double size xl we've had a summer of just like drink half and then pour more in yeah yeah pouring in the bottles i i got us some red solo cups so we could do some tasties too because i want to also want to try stuff also i'm curious i want to drink three well i want to just drink old english and taste what it tastes like because i want to also try stuff also i'm curious i drink three well i want to just drink old english and taste what it tastes like because i haven't had in forever i might just love it i never remember old english that was the one i kind of would get a lot because i like the classic like look of it yeah and it's the ones i you said it's got a big fat mouth but i remember the ones it was just like a big fat 40 size glass and then goes tiny little tapers all

the way up to like a teeny little mouth and mickey's was the little mickey's had the the wide mouth yeah like a little grenade but the big mickey's has the small mouth what the shit this is so cool so i want to get to the mixing part fast yeah are you guys gonna ding me for just like putting pouring some aside right because to make enough of a dent in your 40 we don't want to do 20 minutes of just talking, drinking 40s before we make the title drink. Oh, right, right, right. To fit your whole Four Loko in there... Which is the idea, to do the whole thing.

That would mean you have to drink 24 ounces out of your 40. That's hard. Here's what you could do. I'm giving you a red Solo Cup. You can dump out a bunch of your 40 into that to make room for your Four Loko. Yeah, that way you got like a sidecar of pure or you could just do you take your solo cup do

half beer half for loco yes yeah but I want the experience you want to have drinking out of a big dumb glass bottle here's what I'll say I have a feeling that the proportions are not super important here I think you're supposed to stand drunk on the street with two things in your hand

and you're mixing them together like we don't have to do a 50 50 mix but well let's go uh maybe we can express ourselves and we'll find our own i also think we should we're gonna have to take sips of just the things individually i think so too sure oh my gosh and do you think we should do like garnish with a uh a lemon twist and a maraschino i think garnish is not applicable garnish with a fucking parliament cigarette. This is kind of our most dirtbag episode yet. We're kind of sleazing it up here

with this, and I think it's kind of cool. Me too. Yeah. Why don't we take a little break, and when we come back, we'll do the whole combining, drinking, all the steps.

Great. Folks, see you after the ads. Peace. And we're back with an intimidating array of drinks. The King Cobra looks downright evil. I had one of these on like a spring break road trip with friends. I remember that.

The Mickey's looks appealing. It's green and frosty. And the Old English is a funny looking bottle, but it looks like a nice looking product. It's a plastic bottle, though. But I will say personally, the Old English is speaking to me. What does that say in the Old English? Something when cold wind blew. It sort of got like a coarse light like when the mountains are blue that's pretty cool it's ready for you and is it blue right now i can't really

tell it's a light blue that's a 7.5 alcohol it's like a blue gray um uh mike which of the top ones is calling to you uh i'll try the king cobra i guess it's mic Mickey's for Jimmy The Mickey's is what I was thinking of The classic 40 look And these are comparable ABV wise To each other? 7.5, what's the King Cobra? 6 And Mickey's?

It's just a Intimidating looking It's a Woods beer Brown glass black label Timmy's only 5.6 get out of here like mickey's is like kind of gross right i'm surprised you guys like mickey's um i don't remember it i remember it being light and refreshing and not bad okay um now okay let's we're just doing tasty as we as we discuss loco, we can sip our virgin 40s. Oh, yeah.

Oh, this is college beer. This smells like beer? Yeah, man. Yeah, great. It's got a very breathy taste, if that makes sense. It kind of hangs out on your breath. Yeah. taste, if that makes sense.

It kind of hangs out on your breath. I must admit, I wouldn't know that this isn't like a light cerveza. Let me try that thing. This is like a tecate. Okay, this is old English. Ooh, Mickey's.

Mickey's is light. Old English has more taste. more taste oh that was the thing i remember in the uh the colt 45 ads with um lando calrissian it was all about like more flavor like beer doesn't beer's no good it doesn't have enough flavor yeah crack that cobra and pass it to me oh the old english yeah i remember that That's a little Harsher than I I'm a fan of the Cobra So far King Cobra is a little

Stingy to me None of them are bad Let me try that Let me try that Jesus Christ I might have Made the wrong call With the OE

I'm pretty happy With my Mickey I'm fine with OE Hey Mickey You're so fine Well Jeff you have The wide mouthed Glugger top

Which will be Good for pouring good for pouring for pouring okay okay now we've we've tasted malt liquor and we've decided it tastes like beer but a little more stingy yep okay of the four locos i'm afraid of gold red is calling to me because it seems like the classic uh fruit punch you you mean. Fruit punch. We've got gold, fruit punch, and watermelon. Now, does gold elaborate on its flavor at all? No, but it is 14% alcohol by volume as opposed to 12. Wow.

You know what? I bet it just tastes like malt liquor because this is a malt beverage we're talking about. What? And it's gold. You think so? If it's not fruit flavored. Why don't you... Well, let's all try it. Maybe it's a golden berry.

Okay. Four loco tasties? Let's pass around this gold. Okay. Yeah, just send the gold right down here. Oh! Oh! Oh, no!

That is not malt liqueur Tastes like a Red Bull Tastes like a monster Energy drink That is harsh Fucking repugnant That is harsh That'll be the short straw

Oh I pray to God in heaven I don't have to drink that Oh watermelon's gonna be gross too Oh, I pray to God in heaven I don't have to drink that. Oh, watermelon's going to be gross, too. Okay, we can't spill on the laptops. What is four? Did we talk about what the four loco means? Like, what?

Four beers and the crazy caffeine? Wow. Watermelon. That'll'm great. Jesus. Oh, I see that it's pink in the lip there. Nice. Yeah, I'm pouring them out into this cup. Oh, it's strong on the fake watermelon taste.

Like, you know, that fake-y, gum, bubblicious watermelon. Oh, my God. That tastes like perfume. These are all like... These are fucking nasty. These are all unfortunate. Who drinks these? Who is... Fruit Punch. Perverts, man. This one's got to be good. These are all like, these are all unfortunate. Okay. Who drinks these?

Who is? Fruit Punch. Perverts, man. This one's got to be good. Sleazoids and wasteoids, sleazes and pervs. Oh, man. Well, how much were the four logos? This whole haul was 26 bucks, which is kind of expensive.

I put it on the Slippery Ways LLC. For six huge drinks, that's not too expensive. We're going to be fighting over that fruit punch. Oh, okay. I mean, yeah, fruit punch is the best by a mile, but still not a good beverage. Really? I mean, it tastes like... Hawaiian punch or something.

Yeah, or like an Arizona fruit punch, tall boy. With like an alcohol stank on it. But it's the best. I've been swayed by the smell on each of these. Like they smell much better than they... God, I don't even really want to drink. I don't want to do this show. I wish I had a different job.

That? The fruit punch, I like. Yeah. I like that taste. Like the elf who wants to be a dentist. Not happy in my work, I guess. Okay, so how do we... Ooh, I'm already buzzed.

Yeah, I actually feel it too. Yeah, I guess. Okay, so how do we... Ooh, I'm already buzzed. I actually feel it, too. Yeah, I don't like this. I feel like my face is turning red already. We're going to an old-school fucking chum house. I feel like as the guy with the strongest malt, I shouldn't have to do gold. I feel like... I think that's the thing.

You gotta mash the golds together. You gotta gold... Yeah, but... No, that's... Gold English. I think so. They are not good got to mash the golds together. You got to gold your labels. No, that's not good bedfellows. That's what I think. Jeff, these are these moments where I think Mike is so smart. No, no. I'll do the fruit punch.

That's the best one. That's the best one. We have to do like a draw straw type of thing. Yeah, how does that work? Or we say like we're here in my home and I get first pick. No, no, no. We don't do that. We need to hear.

Hold on. I'll find some straws. Yes. Twisty straw. God, if I have watermelon, I'm going to be so sad. Gold is disgusting, but watermelon is like... Can we get a swizzle stick? Yeah, over on the bar.

The bar. I'm going to try another sip of watermelon. Perfect. I've never done this before. This is great. We could. We could. Mix these all together.

No. No, no, no, no. I mean, ugh, watermelon. Who would pick that? Who would choose that to drink that? An insane person.

Gold is popular. Oh, it's bitter. Tastes like Malort. Serving size, five ounces. Okay. Servings for a container, four and three quarters. Go ahead, Mike. I've got three swizzle straws.

Each have different sizes. I broke some down. You broke my swizzle sticks? Yeah, aren't these just... No, those are reusable. They're plastic. They're nice. They're colorful.

These are like you get a... They're collector's items. All right, all right. I owe you three swizzles. They're nice. They're colorful. These are like, you get a... They're collector's items. All right, all right. I owe you three swizzles. Okay, good. So who's picking... No, you know what? I think I owe you three swizzles.

You broke my swizzle stick. Sorry, I thought you had a whole box. So there's a short one. Short one. And we've decided the short one. Then there's a next... Yeah, the shortest one is going to be gold. Right?

I assume. Yeah, okay. Unless... And then the next shortest one is going to be gold, right? I assume. Yeah. Okay. Unless, and then the next shortest one is going to be watermelon. The longest one is going to be fruit punch. So I want long. You want as long a swizzle as you can get. I'm going, I'm thinking Mike, what would Mike think?

He's a simple guy. I did this very quick. I think that pink is closest to red. I want fruit punch. I'm going with the pink swizzle. Hold on. Pretty long. It's broken, but we don't know if it's more broken than another swizzler.

Right, right. Here comes my pick. Did you beat me? They're pretty damn close. No, it's longer than mine. Ah, yes, but I have... The shortest of all. Oh, no. Okay. Did you beat me? They're pretty damn close. No! It's longer than mine! Ah, yes, but I have... The shortest of all! Oh, no.

Okay. So, based on draw... That's what I get for breaking the family heirlooms. Tim, Mike has gold. Gold. And it was kind of the gold color. Tim, you have watermelon, and I have fruit punch. I'll tell you what.

Yeah. Tim, I'll fucking swap you. You will? I just don't want gold. I just don't want gold. I'll tell you what. Tim, I'll fucking swap you. You will? I just don't want gold. I just don't want gold. I'll take watermelon. Swap it. Great, okay.

Oh, this is a good. Why would you do that, Jeff? Yes. I was like, that watermelon was. Because this whole thing is a freak. There's no good version of this. I feel already a little bit tipsy. How do I feel?

Me too. I'm screaming. Yeah. I'm sad. God damn. I bet this. I bet these. There's screaming yeah i'm sad god damn i bet this i bet these there's no way i'm drinking a whole 40 of this but you have to it's with the premise of the show okay okay i am gonna be the hangover from this is gonna be crazy like we're doing this early so we're not drinking these all into the night until we go to bed. Like, this would be an awful hangover.

We've been here before. We all know. Yeah. Your first sip is like, oh, I don't know, whatever. You get halfway down the drink. Yeah. Suddenly, you're acclimated. You enjoy it.

And you're drunk. Your senses are impaired. I'll tell you what, though. It's a race against time with the temperature, because I had these things in the freezer for a little bit. The 40s were nice and frosty. We're going to be dealing with warm-ass crap. And I have a plastic bottle.

Okay. All right. I'm going to chug my Mickeys halfway down. Oof. You don't have to. I think I'm going to pour my four-lock over a sink. You can spill on the floor. I don't care.

What would Jessica think? Oh, God. The O.E. Old English brand 800. I think I like Mickey's. Like, it's a good looking bottle. And it's nice and light tasting. I think I was judging Mickey's

because it suffers with warmth. Yeah, it's already happening. Chugging this is not a pleasant experience, but then it's weird because it's not that different from beer. Mine isn't that different from beer. So I have nothing to complain

about. I think it's probably like we normally record this normally. Are you fucking kidding me? Jesus. All right. We normally record this podcast in the evening, and we got started in, like, the early afternoon today, so it feels extra weird.

Mm-hmm. This is funny, coming from guys who have done Long Island Ice Teas and Adios Motherfuckers, that I am a little intimidated by this. This is the biggest stunty pranky one we've done. Yeah. It's a lot of liquid. I mean, I like Long Island's. I like liquor. I like to

not be drinking tons of bubbly froth into my stomach and getting all bloated. Now, Tim, I remember on the text chain I told you. I told you. Get lemonade for Lococo they didn't have oh no but maybe i did fuck up there's a fourth flavor i didn't get tasty lemonade peachy uh no i think you made the right i i assume that peach is gonna be like really perfumey you know

i was hoping gold was something sort of citrus. I've made a serious dent in my OE, but I kind of want to get to the main event. Do I just pour the rest into a solo cup? I'm going to do the same thing. I've drank about a third of my Mickeys, but I'm going to dump some into my solo cup, and I'm still good for it.

You know I'm good for it. I'll drink that. Have you ever had a brass monkey? No, and I feel like that's the direct precursor. Yeah, the godfather would be that funky monkey, which is you just take a couple of glugs, and then you pour orange juice on the top, and that sounds like a mimosa. That sounds nice.

All right. I feel like I'm halfway down. Okay. All right. All right. Okay, I'm about halfway down, and time to pour the loco. Pour loco, they should call it.

How are you going to do that, Tim? You're going to make a mess. I'm pouring. He's doing it. Oh, God. Let's see if I can get it on mic. Oh, no, it's frothing up inside the bottle pretty bad. Yeah, that's what I...

Let me get on the mic. Mic on the mic? They should have warned us that it froths up. It's a bad invention if it froths up like that. Yeah, I'm starting to think this drink is ill-considered. Yeah. Okay. I, uh, the frothing.

I was in the kitchen there pouring it out. Hey, hey, speaking of foam yeah you guys ever play beer pong and when it gets foamy people like wipe their nose and like yeah that's uh kind of gross to me I I wouldn't do it beer pong it's rude because of your you're sharing cups and stuff but I remember when I first drank beer it does work at a keg party it was like yeah use some forehead sweat to make the foam go away. And I would do it in my own beer for like five years. I did that pretty regularly. But I wouldn't do it during beer pong.

Rude. I was in the other room drinking my beer and then pouring the Four Loko into the 40F. And it was foaming up. And I was like, okay, I can't fit any more Four Loko in here. Great. Perfect. And then the foam went all the way down.

I was like, fuck, I can't. But I still have Four Loko in here. Great. Perfect. And then the foam went all the way down. I was like, fuck, I can't. But I still have Four Loko left. Oh, not much. Okay, we're now at the point where we kind of have sidewalk slammers. Yeah. And we're going to have our first sip. I got a sidewalk slammer. I got to tilt this around and make sure it mixes.

Are you all the way in there? I'm almost. I got like a tiny bit of remaining Four Logo. That's exactly what I got. Oh, God. Man, 40s just remind me of going to a house in college or something, and dudes are sitting around with dip in their lip, drinking 40s, watching TV or something.

I never did dip dip never even really saw it i did dip i tried dip in high school and it was like it was like whenever all my friends were doing i was like oh this is a phase we can get through you know what i did one time was somebody told me that if you put a nicorette patch on and go to sleep you'll have vivid dreams and you wanted vivid dreams? Well, like, you know, it was just like a crazy thing. You mean like vivid entertainment? Yeah, yeah, like vivid video.

Yeah. And I did, and I had crazy, like, fever dreams, and I woke up puking like crazy. Right, I remember. I don't think I knew you at the time, but I remember hearing this. I woke up, like, white as a ghost, and was, like, puked right off the bed,

ran downstairs, and was puking in the kitchen and like randy and nels found me in my in my briefs just just puking briefs just puking um i uh in college had a i didn't like dip but i had a friend a roommate that did it so i said hey watch this i'm gonna take this giant clump and put it in my lip but there fell asleep midday this was like noon on a wednesday and i had like a 6 p.m lecture that i just fully slept right through i just like went to sleep for the night wow damn i uh in high school i was like a freshman and we went to the movies in paris and we were at the movies. Frenchman? Mm-hmm. It was in Paris. Sacre bleu. And we were at the movies in the front row, and somebody had dip, and I was like, okay. And I did it, and we're watching the movie,

and my head is tilted back, and I basically was just drinking the dip juice. Oh, it was just falling back in your throat. Yeah, and all of a sudden I was like, I gotta go. I went to the bathroom and threw up. No, if you accidentally have a little swallow, you're fucked. I had a friend who hated dip,

but it's because it actually melted his cartoon sneakers. A friend? We're really putting off tips. What other dip stories do I have? I already feel drunk. I already feel red-faced and sweaty. I have a full drink in my

head. And after this, you guys, we have to smell each other for the Patreon. I know, I know. It's going to stink. Okay, here we go. Okay, bottoms up. I mean, way better than Four Loko. Yeah.

Yeah, this has canceled out the taste of the Four Loko. Not the aftertaste. I mean, I'm not a fan of cancel culture, but... The aftertaste is so bad i think that it is worse than a 40 like worse than malt liquor but way better than four loco yeah yeah right the 40 you have a good ingredient and a bad ingredient i mean this still tastes like too strong of a bad watermelon drink. But that just tells you how bad the pure watermelon Four Loko was. Also, I'm forgetting. You guys are having a worse experience than me because I have the lightest malt liquor. Let me see that.

And I have the best tasting of the Four Lokos. Okay. This is oldie and watermelon. Stinks. Fucking reeks. This is great oh oh jefferson no that's no good that's the uh that is the cobra um i used to mix hawaiian oh no i used to mix high c fruit punch and coca-cola in the dining halls and this reminds me of. Cobra and gold is repugnant. Let me try it.

I won, man. Mickey's and fruit punch is like not a bad drink. That's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. The old English in the watermelon is like the perfume vibe. Right. The perfuminess is what fucking sucks and it's so funny because

that's just like artificial flavor they've added let me try that i don't oh yeah king cobra and gold tastes uh a little dangerous insidious like like it's waiting like darth city it's gonna uh sucker punch you yeah that's a good drink yeah i mean yeah the now in comparison i'm like very pleased and the the the mickeys and fruit punch is like uh you know a little tiki come on he's enjoying it i do feel like uh my like insides are being fucked with more so than did you guys eat or drink this like my heart is being uh eaten away i didn't eat or drink anything this morning and i was like oh fuck so i chugged some water like right before you guys got here and then i ate a little bit of chicken salad straight from a deli container but i don't know if it's enough to hold up well the fort mike made

me a full complete breakfast whoa scrambled eggs hash browns toast wow yeah it's like a fucking waffle house i gotta pay my way over there. Yeah. Wait, we've talked about this before. There was one time Jeff was making breakfast. Mike mentioned that it might be nice to have hash browns. I know. I remembered. So, but today when Hanford's doing the cooking,

it looks like the hash browns were involved. Yeah, hash browns were involved. And wait a minute. We could take a little example from your role model. We forgot to talk about what was in the scrambled eggs. Spinach. Steamed spinach. Oh, Florentine, Michael. Yes.

Wait, Florentine is just spinach or cheese too? You had a little cheese in there. Cheese too. What, feta maybe? You had a little cheese in there, right? Nope. No cheese. I want you off dairy, mister.

Co-cheese. Co-cheese. This drink's a little dairy. Last night I had some Daikokuya ramen delivered. What? You didn't? You say what? You had what?

You know the famous ramen place downtown, Daikokuya? Ooh. Never heard. Well, we were hanging out with Paul yesterday, and he gave his little daughter some ramen. Yeah, that was good. And I saw it, and I was like, I've got to eat some ramen. That some good and then fran was like i'm gonna i got ramen waiting for me i just ordered it and i was like i'm gonna order some ramen but you know it was great it had the egg it had the

the pork belly enough about ramen no is this the ramen not enough no but here's something about ramen we went over to uh saps coffee shop oh boat noodle soup the bowl man it was great it's such a cool place it's like unassuming unassuming you go in there it's one of these places like there's not really anything on the wall it's just a big square room high ceiling bright and the the um you know the disposable uh plates and takeout stuff is all just like in boxes up against the wall it's not like hidden or anything it's so uh it was so good. And to call it Saps Coffee Shop, I get coffee all the time. And even as a coffee destination,

I've walked, it's like sixth choice. Oh yeah, it didn't seem like there was coffee anywhere. And then somebody told me like, yeah, it's like a Michelin star restaurant. You can get, yeah. It's like the, it's, you know, Jonathan Gold, the famous food critic that died, but he used to do the Jonathan Gold 101.

Saps was always on his list and it is exactly like what he was best at was finding like a strip mall location of a weird ass little hole in the wall place that has amazing dishes saps coffee shop is like yeah it's like a thai coffee house with that really sweet like oh i'm sure it tastes good but i can't drink that stuff because it's so sugary i didn't know thai coffee was a thing yeah i got a th Thai iced tea and it was great. It's like the bright orange shit you get. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they just happen to have the best noodles.

And the jade noodles and the boat noodle soup, I had never even tasted that taste. Tim, you nailed it. I got the jade, he got the boat. Bouge. Good job. You guessed it. I went there with Mitch. He brought me there the first time

Yeah the first time I went there it was like We read it in the Jonathan Gold list and then went straight there You ever had Jitlada that's another place I'm working my way through that whole Every time Jessica's out of town Cause she doesn't like spicy stuff and she doesn't like Fucking frog legs Weird

So while the cat's away I will order Like you know the spiciest shit on earth from there while the cat's away the mouse eats a frog yeah mouse has heartburn the the i order things medium there and i sweat my balls off yeah i went there once years ago but like into the restaurant yeah you you've only had it during covid or something no i've been i've been in that cobra punch i've been like 10 times i've been there and i we've been there okay was do you remember like a bunch of uh simpsons drawings on the wall

like yeah graining yeah like graining did the thing yeah yeah yeah what i love about that place you giant menu it's like a book. You get to the back pages. They're like, okay, this is not for white people. We're going into the handwritten pen on white paper menu that's the good shit. So I always try to get something from there as well. They have some nice little

softball dishes that anyone would like. But then, yeah. Chicken fingers for me. A couple places I've been on here. There's like the normal spice meter and then there's the Thai spicy meter, which is just like completely beyond. Yeah. I mean, I love. It's almost a secret meter.

It's unbelievable because I want to eat. I like getting all steamed up and sweaty. I like being burned. I like the pain. But I can't go, if I go hot, I can't even eat my food. One thing I don't like about spice. And I'm a heat seeker. I like the spice, but you have to eat in ascending order of spice.

You know what I mean? You can't start with the hot, hot. Yeah, because even if you get really spicy chicken wings, everything you taste after that just tastes like the residue of like hot buffalo. Well, if you like wings, you should go on Hot Ones because they usually build. Oh, wow. Interesting stuff. So what we could do is like start acting in some workshops in LA, then get cast in like a huge movie.

If you're in like a Marvel movie, you could be invited to be on Hot Ones. It's crazy that Hot Ones is such a destination. Like the biggest stars in the fucking, like I bet you daniel day lewis is trying to get on hot ones no i love i makes me i'm not like a hot ones viewer yes but i like the idea that we've taken away the the the power from hollywood yeah like the biggest you look at an episode of hot ones it has seven million views you look on nothing nothing in the Nielsen ratings gets 7 million views other than the fucking Super Bowl. That's great. What about the slap?

What about the slops? Oh, hey. Who do you think is going to win the Super Bowl this year? Oh, fucking Rams. Fucking Cowboys, baby. Cowboys, he says. Rams 2-Pete. That would be nice.

I just had the first team I thought of. Cowboys. That's America's football team. What about the Patriots? Well, they're New England. Now, why aren't you guys just dripping with sweat? Well, wait a minute. Tim, how dare you call me out?

I'll say that. I'm hot. I'm fucking... You don't look sweaty, though. How far I've got? I'm not even down to the label. I'm having more fun chit-chatting about stuff. Well, your friends are too funny. That's the problem.

Let's chug. Bottoms up. This is tough. Mine is good. I like mine now. It's a nose plugger. When we have these drinks, usually, on this podcast, I'm done. I'm done for a second round. I mean, this is a huge drink,

so I'm not going to finish. But I keep bringing it to my lips to sip. This I'm avoiding putting it in my hand. For a moment, I'm going to focus on my red solo cup of poured out Mickeys. I'm going to put my big bottle in the freezer for a couple minutes.

Wait, wait. Do me. Do me. And in fact, I'm going to put my big bottle in the freezer for a couple minutes. Oh, this one. I'll be back. Wait, wait. Do me. Do me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like mine warm. And in fact, I'm going to take the little remaining Four Loko, and I'm going to put it in that remaining. Ooh.

Yeah. Damn. You got a real thing going on over there, Jeff. Gross. You break my soul. You break my soul. This is the first drink we've had on the pod where it's a true hurdle, huh? Gross. This is the first drink we've had on the pod where it's a true hurdle, huh? Yeah, I mean, it's a challenge.

It's a lot. It's just the most liquid. It's not our fault. If you have 40 ounces plus 24 ounces, you have 64 ounces. That's a gallon. And if we drank a gallon of milk, that would be like a jackass. And I enjoyed it, but like a bullshot. Let's say you don't like a bullshot.

Let's say you don't like a Trinidad Sour. You have something wrong in your head. You don't like a Trinidad Sour. At least it's a small cup. It's not like- Right, exactly. You're not dealing- There's something wrong in your head. You're not dealing with like a-

You have emotional problems. This is so daunting. This. God. It's daunting. Hey, speaking of the Trinidad Sour, and listeners, you know this is a drink where the primary spirit is

Angostura bitters. Angostura always gets one toot. One toot for Angostura. What about Peychaud's? Half a toot. You know Pinky's in Los Feliz? Of course. They changed up the menu. Wait, Pinky's in Los Feliz? Of course. They changed up the menu.

Oh. Wait, Pinky's the hot dogs? No, that's Pink's. Pinky's the bar, kind of a newish tropical bar. Very good cocktail bar. Kind of a fern bar, vaporwave bar. Yes, and then also Friday and Saturday night, kind of a packed hookup scene.

Where is it? Rest of the time. It's tucked away by Odium. It's near Skylight Books. Not Odium. Atrium. Atrium. It's near Skylight Books.

Oh, yes. Anyway. Skylight Books. I went there. I was like, hey, let's go to Pinky's and get the banana old fashioned. Oh. I get back there. They didn't have it.

Fucking Mookie makes a good banana old fashioned. He does. Yes. What's the banana old-fashioned. Oh! I get back there, they didn't have it. Fucking Mookie makes a good banana old-fashioned. He does? Yes! What's the banana part of it? It's weird, like banana rum or something like that. Oh, nice. It's a banana liqueur, but it's not 99 bananas.

It's something fancy. Oh, it's Giffords. Well, I talked it up to Mitch and Joe Saunders. I said, let's go get some banana old-fashioned. We get there. It's gone. They've redone the menu. But you know what's on the menu?

Listen to this. Jeff, you're not going to like this name. You're not going to like the name, but you're going to like the fucking drink. It was called the Trinidaddy. Uh-huh. And I look and I say, Trinidaddy? Trinidaddy. It's like their take.

You know that thing of like cocktail bar that varies the ingredients a little bit and has a pun name? Mm-hmm. Mm. Oh. Mm. Um. Oh. The Trinidad-y was like their take on the Trinidad Sour.

Great. It was like a little bit juicier, a little blended or something. So I ordered it. It fucking, it was a modern day Trinidad Sour variation. And it was, it had that red velvetiness. Trinidad Sour was a modern, a contemporary classic. Yeah, so it doesn't get more contemporary. I mean, we're talking fucking.

You've had too much Four Loko, my friend. That's the guy's name. He's in Vegas right now. We always talk about him. Giuseppe Gonzalez. Yeah. Invented in like 2010. He was Trinidad Sour?

Yeah, he invented it. Yes. Yeah, at the Clover Club in Brooklyn. Yes. Had it at the Clover Club. Wasn't as good. And he defied to appear on the pod. Yes.

We waited the whole Trinidad Sour Christmas special, and he didn't call in. Yeah. He didn't know. We had a whole, yeah, it was a waiting for Godot situation. He's, we've interacted with him on Instagram.

He's a great guy. He's, he lives in, he's in Vegas now. Waiting for, waiting for Gonzo. Yes. Waiting for Gonzo.

Waiting for Giuseppe. And he, he appears to be, from his Instagram, sober and working out and a health man. And he appears to be, from his Instagram, sober and working out and a health man. And I'm happy for him. Imagine being a sober guy

who created one of the best drinks. That's going to be tough to be in the cocktail world sober. It's perhaps not in the, he might not be in the cocktail world anymore. Anyway, back to my variation I had. Yeah. I didn't really necessarily

love the new direction they took it it was a little juicier but to have that kind of red velvety frothy thing that we loved yeah uh i thought it was very cool i thought i rocked the house well you don't see a lot of people doing a take on a trinidad sour fuck that no way or offering a trinidad sour even in its classical sense no you don't you simply don't so i to respect him for just knowing. Tim's lost in his goddamn mobile. Damn, this damn drink. Damn.

I was checking my texts. All right. Who are you getting texts from? Jocelyn Richards? Yeah. That was the last text call for it. I'm looking at my texts now. The last text I had two months ago. Jocelyn Richards? Yeah. That was the last text culprit. I'm looking at my text now. The last text I had two months ago, Jocelyn Richards.

Oh, shit. My 40's in the fridge. Shit. Hey, get mine too. No. Please and thank you helps in that situation, Jeff. You guys talk about me while I'm gone. Sure, sure, sure.

Jeff, you got to be better with the manners. I've noticed it the past week I've been staying with you. You got to get better with the manners. Please get my drink the past week I've been staying with you. You got to get better with the manners. Please get my drink. Thank you, Tim, for bringing my drink. Mike? You got to be bad. You got to be bold.

You got to be wiser. I want you off dairy, and I want you to really be focusing on those manners. Because when I'm not around, I don't know what you're doing. Oh, thank you. You got to drink coos. You got to drink bud. You got to drink wiser. Because when I'm not around I don't know what you're doing Oh Thank you You gotta drink cool You gotta drink bud You gotta drink wiser Oh fuck

Great Is that Tracy Chapman Sings that song You gotta be cool You gotta No I think it is I'm gonna say

Well Tracy Chapman I wanna say it's Meredith Baxter You got a fast car That's a great song I like that music And I remember we were Driving Driving my car I want to say it's Meredith Baxter. You got a fast car. That's a great song. I like that main riff. I think fast car is better than give me one reason to stay here.

Yeah, I agree with that. Yep. Hell yeah. It might be the sidewalks we're talking, but I agree with you. What about Pave Paradise put up a parking lot? Who's that? Joni. Joni?

Counting Crows. Hmm. I think there's a version on the Friends soundtrack. Did you get it? Wait, Pave Paradise Put Up... I actually didn't buy the Friends soundtrack. Oh, yeah. You're missing out, Tim. Wait, no.

That's Joni Mitchell, right? Yeah, I gave you the original one. And then you said Counting Crows, too? They did a... They did the cover. I gave you guys a little history lesson about the lyrics. It was a reference to the Garden of Allah. Where they wanted to...

And now they have a McDonald's there. That's right. Mickey D's, man. Hey. Mickey D's over a billion served. I went to Mickey D's the other day. Yeah. Two things.

What'd you get? The spicy chicken sandwich is good. They copied Popeye's and they did a good job of it. Oh, I almost had Popeye's the other day. Almost? Almost. I walked by it. I was like, this is a long line and I don't want to do that right now.

It's hot out. Yeah. I tried to go to the Eagle Rock Popeye's during the peak of the chicken sandwich craze. It was weird. I was going there every day. I was like a sneaker head. They didn't have it. They put up a sign saying they're sold out.

But you can have these fresh Kyrie, these fresh size 12 Kyries. Yeah, yeah. I said, give me the Jordans. Fine. Here's 700 bucks. I have an idea. Hear me out for once in my life.

You guys always, Tim, shut up. Tim, just shut up. I want to hear what you're talking about. The drink's called the Sidewalk Slammer. What if we bring them outside onto my sidewalk and we record on the phone? Slam them on the ground to get rid of these things. No, but we should go out and take a selfie on the sidewalk, but we could also record getting some sips on the sidewalk for the full experience.

I love that. I love that these are sidewalks, sidewalks, sidewalk slammers. Like someone's going to like slam this thing. Yeah. This is a sipper at best. This is a sad sipper. A labored. I am a fourth done with mine.

Yeah. Well, why don't we take a little break? I'm on pace to finish mine. Why don't we take a little break and when we come back, we'll meet you on the sidewalk, mine. Yeah. Well, why don't we take a little break? I'm on pace to finish mine. Why don't we take a little break, and when we come back, we'll meet you on the sidewalk, folks. Great. What is up? Cal Piquet here with his two co-hosts. You know me. You know me.

You love me. I'm pretty much your boy at this point. But you also love my two co-hosts, and they're here. We're on the sidewalk. Tim, I've got to ask. Is any part of you embarrassed to be seen on your sidewalk with these drinks? No, I'm pretty proud. I won't name drop, but over there, a celebrity lives right there.

Ooh. Let's see if that... Pat Sajak. Suzanne Somers. there a celebrity lives right there. Ooh. Let's see if that. Pat Sajak. Suzanne Somers. That's a comedy power couple. Ooh. Sajak and Vanna White. They're more of a game show power couple.

That building, I'll be honest, I'm kind of rivals with. There's a couple there I hate, but then the landlord is cool with me. He does putt-putt golf right in the front. Oh, yeah, yeah. I like that. And that corner over there is a with me. He plays, he does putt-putt golf right in the front. Oh, yeah, yeah. I like that. And that corner over there is a real scene. If you want to, like, in the morning,

you want to hang around with a bunch of Pilates ladies, you go right there. Hey, there's a guy parking his car. When he gets out of his car, let's cheers him, you know what I mean?

He looks like Elon Musk. He doesn't live in your neighborhood, does he? I would be surprised if I'm at the same price point as Elon Musk. Well, I'm ready to give my final thoughts on this. Mike, no, you're a jerk.

Wait, no, take a sit. No, the point was to have the real experience. So pretend instead of a famous satirist's house, a one-time Emmy nominated, two-time WGA nominee, one-time brought coffee for the entire casting crew. All I care about is the awards and nominations. You're standing on the sidewalk, you got no imagine, you got to stand on the sidewalk, you got no job no prospects, no friends. Yeah, but you're

having fun. Hey, you know what? When I was looking for Four Logos, I went to Elephant Liquor that Charles Bukowski hangout. They have Four Logos there. Nice. Okay, bottoms up. It tastes better out here than inside. I don't know.

It's a 95 degree day in LA, and we're cooling down in the dull days of summer. Police copter. Something just... Oh, shit, it's Gale Rock. Oh, no, that's like, look at that. That chopper is cool. Oh, yeah, that's wonderful. It's like a plane with two propellers on it.

Wow. God, if you guys were here, we'd love you to see this. Here comes the UPS guy. I've, like, never seen an aircraft. Like, I'm not much of an aviation whiz, but... I know, I've only seen them in, like... Anime. You see them in anime.

Right, right, right. Like, airplane books. Like, different aircraft books. Okay, for me, it's anime. For him, it's airplane books. You know, a catalog book of all the different aircraft okay for me it's anime for him it's airplane book you know a catalog book of all the different types of aircraft hey look at jeff's car and then two cars behind it my car yeah this is great being out here on the side so one last big sip oh yeah let's let's clink these together just clink clink it doesn't clink with jeff's plastic plastic donk

For me, it's more of a plastic donk. Ah, hey. Kale donk. Los Feliz, huh? It's a hell of a town. Hey. This sucks. For me, having the strawberry, uh, strawberry? Watermelon.

Watermelon. Oh, boy. It fucking sucks. It's pretty good now. Yeah, mine is, like, the best tiki drink I've ever had at this point. It helps to be standing in the direct fucking August sun. No, I don't like any of this. I don't like the taste here. The heat. I remember at the beginning of the episode...

You would say this is a negative day in your life. I'm having a bad day today. It's the heat. Had a bad day. Kidding. Had a bad day drinking a Cobra. It's nice knowing that we're going to go to Tam O'Shanter and eat prime rib after this. And not remember a great meal yet.

Maybe we should just go to Arby's. Get the roundup? We didn't do an Arby's this trip yet. Oh, that's too bad. I have some horsey sauce packets in my kitchen. You can have some. I'm going to bring those to Tam O'Chanter. That's funny because they do have

fancy horse ready. Please keep it in the kitchen. Hey, somebody else noted I have a bunch of Taco Bell sauce packets in the back seat. Yeah, because I. Yeah. Wait, what episode? You noted that I don't have any hot sauce in my kitchen. I thought.

See, I have a drawer in my kitchen full of soy sauce packets, sriracha packets, tapatio packets, all of it. And you in your kitchen do not. I don't like packets. And you were like, I don't hold on, Mike. He poured one out for his dead homies. Oh, okay. Well, I don't want to finish this. I don't want to get rid of it.

Oh, oh, oh. No, but Jeff, you don't have a drawer of packets in your kitchen, yet I was riding in the back of your car to go see Rise of Groove. Yes! And there was a fucking bunch of Taco Bell packets back there. Yes, mild, all

the way up to Diablo. Diablo's hot. Mookie bought me a Crunchwrap Supreme the other night. We went there after, separately after the sloppy show. Did you see Mookie there or did you guys go to different? No, you guys, we couldn't get the timing right. Yeah, it's one of those things.

Timing the structure. Did you hear? He made love to a woman. He made love to his wife. All right. Let's take the hell out of here. Folks, we'll see you inside. All right.

And we're back inside with our final thoughts. We're back inside With our final thoughts Back inside Beyonce Renaissance What did you guys think of Renaissance? I'd love to tell you We've talked about it on the Patreon

If you want to know my opinion you can go there Fuck this fucking guy Would you change anything? Because I would I would change quite a bit change anything um i'll tell you all ingredients i'll tell you what i do this whole experience i change it i'm happy with mine i i feel sad i feel like i'm letting down the listener by not finishing so sad i have i have about 20 ounces of my freedom Freedom. I finished my Four Loko can. I finished...

I have like 20 ounces of the fucking sidewalk slammer left. We all have quite a bit left. We will be finishing when we record the next episode, the Patreon episode. I'm going to drink this into the next episode. I'm resolved. Yeah, listeners, be comforted by it. We are going to finish these.

But are we going to make a pact that by the end of this week's Cologne Patreon episode we've finished, we have bone dry bottles? You've got to package my man. Oh, shit. Oh, this is my mink coat I wore. Yes, we will be bone dry. Here's the thing. I'm going to add ice to this

because I feel like it's strong enough it could support ice, but here's the problem. Does it prolong the to this because i feel like it's strong enough it could support ice but here's the problem does it prolong the misery just put it in the freezer again i gotta do the freezer on our our little break we'll take a little break um final final thoughts hey this is crazy but i like mine and it was fun especially going out on the sidewalk and drinking mine. But I will fully acknowledge the privilege. I'll check my privilege and say that I had the Mickey's, which is the lightest of the 40s. Right. And I had the Fruit Punch, which is the only palatable one of the three.

So I made up pretty good. I won't drink this again. I got the worst. No, I didn't get the worst combo. I like the Killer Cobra. Oh, boy. King Cobra on its own. But I got the worst.

Four Loko. I won't drink that again. You know what would be like the classier version of this? Ooh. A Miller High Life and a Red Bull. Yeah. Oh. More pure ingredients.

Yeah, really pure. Well, High Life makes a 40. They do? That's great. They also make a 32, which is kind of cool. I'll tell you what, folks. If you're getting into Red Bulls, Red Bull Yellow. They call it tropical flavored.

It's fucking great. See, do they call it tropical flavored it's fucking great see do they make it uh sugar-free no damn i do the sugar-free red bull and the the smell of it now i've got like a pavlovian response where it's like it smells like a night out that that's the one i buy for the house to be honest when i smell it i say oh it's somebody's birthday and i was sleeping we're like i need i need to go to a work party and i don't know exactly um i actually specifically one night i saw lizzo at the palladium and i was like it was a friday night after work and i was kind of zonked out and i drank a red bull so that's what i associated with hey when you saw lizzo tim yeah did she play the flute yeah that's why i lizzo you know here's the thing lizzo is fun lizzo plays the flute you go see her live that's that's great i'll tell you sometimes i'm am i allowed to give her a critique

the new album i feel like she it it almost feels like her lyrics are written by admin. TikTok. Too fast coming out with the sophomore album? Not too fast because that last album was out for a long ass time before she got famous about it, but don't you feel like those catchphrases She's like M. Night Shyamalan herself

with I just took a DNA test and now everything she does has to be like Right, she's like I am that bitch and now everything she does has to be like right she's like i am that bitch and you're like i have to do this so like her current single starts with it's bad bitch o'clock yes it's thick 30 and it's like that's a little bit funny but it's way more memeable than it is the sophomore album is always very tricky. But the music is good. The voice is good. The flute is fun. And then even... She also seems...

I like that song. When you know when she's like, I'm going to need two shots, one to bring me up, one to bring me down. She's good. It's just like how it works these days where you're like,

you're kind of writing to the fucking... You got to play the game, baby. She was on SNL this past year. I think a host or just a musical guest who did... I think she was the host of the most. game baby she was on snl this past year's i think a host or just some musical guests who did i think she was the host of the most yeah she was host of the most she was great she was really like a funny charismatic person i was well that i knew about her pretty early on because jessica interviewed her when she was playing the fucking fonda no shit oh wow there you go jess that's sick i know it was great and they like hung out for a whole night there was like a feature so jessica like was like chilling with her the whole night and she was like

oh we got to like pay attention to this lizzo lady because she's so cool but yeah it was like she she she kind of had that fucking tiktok thing happen where it's like oh a song from two years ago finally blew up yep i guess some uh the what is it is it i just took a dna test yeah i i well truth hurts the slavers hurts is the is the why man great when they got till they gotta be great like that popped up in a tv show she released the album to no to no fanfare and then a song of hers popped up in a show where the characters were like singing it. Yeah. What show was that?

It was like some weird show, but friends, you know what I like about Lizzo is some of the, some of the lyrics feel empowering, but you pay attention there and they're like self-deprecating undercover, like sad. And if you think about even like a lot of her stuff is sort of like her most popular stuff.

If he don't love you anymore, walk your ass right out the door. You're like, hell yeah. But then you're like, oh no, like you stayed in this relationship until he didn't love you. Well, you know, she worked with Prince. What? Sure. She's from Minnesota.

Sure. He looks out the window. I think she works. Is this where you just say what you want? You guys have caught up to me on the sweatiness. Oh, my God. We need to end this. No, no, we're keeping going.

Put the AC on. It's too long. This is too long and too uncomfortable. We're going to win a streaming for this one. I'm putting my Cobra in the freezer, though. Hey, put mine, too. You have so much left, Mike. No. Luke said, Mike. No.

Luke's at 36 ounces. No. Wait, take mine. Put mine in there. No cap. He's going capless. Alright, Megan, when you come back, I want this final thought. I gave you final thoughts. He loved it. He recommends.

I'll do mine. I think there's a good version of this out there but i think it's like get your favorite malt liquor because we were going blind i would go colt 45 and a lemonade for loco and you might be okay you mean mean Beyonce lemonade? Yeah. Okay. Right. No, if you had like a lime fucking Four Loko and Mickey's, that might be good. Yeah. Because Mickey's tastes like Modelo or Tecate. Sure. But this does feel like a dare drink. Drug awareness resistance education.

Yeah. It's too much. I gave you my final thought. Yeah. Well yeah well yeah I'm in the middle of mine Mike quiet down over there but I would do this again I would do this again you know what

I did have a lot this is a fun event type thing in fact I'm still doing it doing it and doing it. That's right. Doing it and doing it. I put all the 40s in the freezer. And Tim, your freezer's pretty much cleared out because that time you had the fumigation. But what's sitting right there at the top of it all?

The tomahawk steak. My in-laws gave me two giant tomahawk ribeyes for Christmas. My in-laws gave me two giant tomahawk ribeyes for Christmas. I perfectly seared one of them and ate it, and I'm waiting for the right occasion for the second one. Maybe the end of this pod might be a good celebration. It takes two days to thaw that fucker. And you cook it up just right for your friends. Yep.

And you give them most of it because you're a good host. I have some tuna salad if you guys want. Oh, tuna salad. I went to Albertson's. I got chicken salad, tuna salad, egg salad. Oh, egg salad. That's a tough one, egg salad. Sometimes it's like, oh, I want egg salad.

Rarely, rarely. The eggs in the egg salad were hard, and I was chewing them like they shouldn't be this rubbery. I shouldn't be noticing an egg, of all things. I've been on a big Thousand Island kick. Oh, Tim, you've got to come by the J-Man's house sometime. You've got Thousand Island? Of course, Ken's Steakhouse.

Oh, Ken's. I put it on salads, sandwiches, dips. Do you know where Ken's is located? No. Framingham, Massachusetts, home of Lil Mookie B. Oh, we've driven past it, haven't we? I remember we drove past. I was starstruck.

My family's really into Ken's dressing. They're so good. I've eaten every variety. I grew up on Ken's. That's my shit. Yeah, it's a New England company, but it's nationwide. and i fucking i i put ken's uh russian or ken's thousand island on like fries yeah all kinds of shit sometimes just baby carrots to the dome off with some thousand island here's what i got i got bob's bob's big boy thousand island mike you said you don't see catalina take a look in

your in my fucking fridge because i've got and i'll be right back catalina is a little island off the coast of la where do you think who do you think invented the catalina dress bob cob craft craft it was no k r a f t the ad wizards over at Kraft came up with... In the 70s? I'm guessing the 70s. Catalina seems like a 70s thing. 70s dinner party, yeah. We should do a Catalina episode. Catalina wine tasting.

Think about it. We should. All right. Hold on. I wanted to... That reminded me of... Oh, my God. End this so we can turn the AC back on.

That reminded me of an Instagram account. I told you it was hot at the beginning of the episode. Okay, everybody knows 70s Dinner Party, right? The Instagram? Yeah. Mike, you look like shit. This is soaking wet. It came from water country.

What's going on over there? Okay, let me wrap this up. Yes, there's an Instagram where there's 70s stuff. 70s Dinner Party. It reminded me. I have another Instagram account I wanted to plug. It's called Dead Motel USA. Oh, shit.

And it's so cool because like- Are they overgrown with weeds and shit? Yeah. There's like the fucking like Catskills Hotels. Yeah. Like the pines in Fallsburg, New York. And look at this side by side. Like look at that cool pool.

Cool pool. And then you swipe to the side. Ruin porn, baby. Ruin porn. Woo. Look at that, Mike. Love side. Look at that cool pool. And then you swipe to the side. Ruin porn, baby. Ruin porn. Look at that, Mike. Look at that. There's a beautiful pool in the 60s. Oh, that's cool.

And now, ruin porn. Is ruin porn a thing? Yes, yes. It's kind of a Detroit thing, to be honest. But that's our show. Well, hold on. I'll be the one to do this. And I have a lot more to say.

About what? That's our show. Follow us on social media at the sloppy boys where you can see these recipes ahead of time. And also follow us on Patreon where you can check out the sloppy boys blow out our weekly bonus episode. And don't forget our monthly bonus episode. Questions for Lennon. They're not just bonus like, oh, ding, ding, ding.

Bonus. This is a whole other show starring me, your boy, who's pretty much your boy at this point, and my two co-hosts. And you can find episodes where I talk about Bruce Springsteen. Yeah. We don't think of the bonus episodes

as not having weight and consequence. They're not bonus episodes. They're bone us episodes. Damn. Damn. Like anything else to say? Damn Daniel. Back at it again with the white vans.

We just went on plug that YouTube video. Take a look. And check out Fantasia 1940 Disney's Fantasia. Used to be a traveling road show. Yeah. They would travel it around to be a traveling road show. Yeah. They would travel it around and show it on a road show. Yeah, it's maybe a little slow for the kids, but Mickey does show up. And the host is a little funny guy.

And he is perhaps a Nazi sympathizer. We don't know what's going on. Oof, I hate Nazis. But the Minions were frozen in a cave during World War II. Yeah, that's one thing we learned about the Minions. Is that the Minions 1 takes place in 1960s. And where were the Minions? And Rise of Gru is 1970s.

Oh, is it? Oh, yeah. Hey, when we saw Rise of Gru, you know what I got to drink at that movie theater? Minion Punch. Double Cognac, three cherries. What Punch. Double cognac, three cherries. What? Double cognac, three cherries. Okay.

And you also had some ice cream, I thought. Hold on. I had the worst brownie sundae I ever had in my fucking life. I'm going to eat something here. Go ahead, Jeff. A cold pizza. I had a bad pizza and a bad ice cream sundae. I had watery nachos and and over salted popcorn me cold french

fries and a nice big mango cart I'm just reading something here on the sidewalk slammer recipe it's a note may cause blabbermouth let's wrap this up all right folks if you want to pick up where this leaves off you're gonna want to It didn't today, but it did. It did. No, it didn't today. Yes, it did. All right, folks. If you want to pick up where this leaves off, you're going to want to subscribe to that old Patreon and listen to the cologne episode that came out on Wednesday. Goodbye. Bye, everybody. And to be honest, see you later.

Enough! I'm turning the AC on. Get out of here! hey folks duds here with a little recap action of the scene at the tam o'shanter did we say that we were going to the tam o'shanter yeah yeah we covered that we made a nice restaurant for dignified patrons yeah high-priced items on the menu it's a couple days later and we're recapping right yes so Yes. So what happened? How did it feel getting into that lift that came to pick us up? I remember

feeling... Hold on. We gotta say the sidewalk slammers hit us, slammed us. They slammed us. And we finished, after recording this episode, we recorded our Cologne Patreon episode, and I would say that during the course of that hour is when the wheels came off.

Yeah. It ramped up fast. We lost audio. It was a fiasco. The Slammers snuck up on you. But then when they finally kicked in, I feel like we were all like, hey, we're all conscious. Not conscious, but we're all with it during the recording. Sure.

Once we were done recording, it was like, whoa. Because we pledged to finish them over the course of the night. Sure. Once we were done recording, it was like, whoa, we're all... Because we pledged to finish them over the course of the night, and we did. We did. All victorious. Not even all... Yeah, just like during the cologne episode we finished. A happy ending, you would think.

Sure. Yeah. Everything's taken care of, right? Right. Wrong. We had a reservation... Everything's taken care of. Dinner reservation at Tam O'Shanter, which we had to push a little bit sure we got into the lift

and i remember thinking i don't normally feel this tipsy when i'm headed to dinner right when i'm starting my meal i've never done a going yes we were using a sidewalk slammer as an aperitif and it did stimulate my stomach yeah yeah um so we walked in there and and we got to the tam o'shanter is a legendary old la um prime rib house um we sat there we met up with a couple of uh friends uh from our sketch group dave ferguson uh chris van arsdalen we get seated in the walt disney room right and we're ordering and stuff and here's my

thought process well Jeff's the drunk one what made you think that talking too loud the other table's looking other table's looking over and us saying

Jeff shh and then you're going what oh oh no I didn't say what oh I was not you slammed down your hand on the table a lot

to make everything clatter up. And Tim and I were like, hey, this is the main, you know, the dining room. You can't do that here. And the families were looking at us and then you did have that vibe of let them run.

No. You were doing a lot of like neck swaying from side to side and like, yeah, look. Like a lot of like hitting into the person next to you. But I want to make it clear, I was not combative. You were not, which was very fun because you could be loud and funny, and then I'd go, hey, okay, you got to calm down.

And you'd go, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Loudly. I'm with you. Yeah, yeah. So it was the fun drunk, or the crazy drunk without the combative. And I had the you. Yeah. So it was the fun drunk without, or the crazy drunk without the- And I had the wherewithal. I was excited to get my chicken sandwich and a water, and another water, and another water.

Yep. Tim, on the other hand, says, I'm normally, when I go to Tam O'Shanter, I get two martinis. I get the Tam O'Shanter cut of prime rib. I get two martinis. I typically try an appetizer, so this time I ordered the bone marrow. That was good. I'm happy to hear that you got a bite of it in because I ordered it for the table, but then I took a long swipe of it.

Yeah. If you've never had bone marrow, it's basically a bone cut in half, and you scrape the marrow onto a piece of toast. Yeah. And Tim. i took a whole fucking femur it makes the whole thing up it goes you guys gotta try this and it's a whole one it's like well i don't know if there's much to try anymore if i say you guys gotta try this in my mind you guys had not you you had had your chance i had a little bit of all right okay but

hold on we're getting we're gonna going to head to the ball being passed. See, I'm cool, calm, collected. Sure. Jeff's the problem. Tim and I held it together. I felt like I had to sober up quick

because the reservation was under my name. So this is my show. I got to keep, And you were sort of greeting our friends. David, thanks for coming. Christopher, great to see you.

Chris, put her there. Put her there. I don't think I talked to those guys. I don't think I did. Yeah, I don't know. You seemed okay, but so you and I ordered mart there. I don't think I talked to those guys. I don't think I did. Yeah, I don't know. You seemed okay, but so you and I ordered martinis. I had one that I sipped through the entire meal.

Tim, what did you do with your martini? Well, I didn't hear your martini order, and I said, same as him, because I thought I heard you say Hendrix, maybe. I think I went with, yeah, maybe Hendrix. I forget. So I didn't hear you said it was dirty. So my first one arrived, and it was dirty, which I don't really do. So I was trying to like get rid of it by drinking it.

Sure. Only one way to do it. Where can I pour this? Down the gullet. And then so, yeah, just my brain sort of forgot. I always go there. And typically when I go to a steakhouse, I have two martinis and that's a perfect buzz. When I go to a steakhouse, I have two martinis and that's a perfect buzz.

And I forgot to do the math that there was an entire sidewalk slammer waiting below the stage. Which we calculated was something like eight drinks. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot. It's a lot. And caffeine. And I remember all this, by the way. I remember seeing you with the bone marrow.

Really? I remember seeing you with the martini. And then when I finished- Our waiter was enjoying our revelry too. Good, good. And I remember when the meal was complete, that's when things started to fade out a little bit. Were you fall asleep?

Yes. Head down. This was a real... You know, we joked about this a couple of things ago. This was a real head down at table sleeping. This is a snoozer. Now... Now, you push back.

When I said at the Red Lion, when I had the walnut schnapps shots, I said, yeah, had your head down. You're like, no, no, no. This time, head down, snoozed out. Yeah. And look, am I embarrassed that this sort of story happens twice in rapid succession on the podcast?

Yeah, I am. But it's not the end of the story. It's a crazy time. Well, then the Mater D, when your head was down, the Mater D came over and said, is he okay? I said, oh, he's fine. Excuse me, sir. I said, he's fine.

He's like, yeah, yeah. Well, we can't have people falling asleep in the dining room. Right. And I said, oh, well, Jeff, wake up. So you stood up. And then you went down again. Then you got up. And then you said to yourself, I got to get out of here.

You Ubered yourself out. Yeah. I thought I had my wits about me. Didn't. Didn't. But I knew well enough to get like oh okay when the waiter says something you pull your phone out and you get a lift right then and that's what i did yeah yeah that's a good outside observer it's not like oh my friends are riding me it's like oh this no no i had a pretty

clear idea like hey i know the slammer's working against my best interests. Well, and then when you left, you must have passed the invisible, you know, 20 pound yoke to Tim because Tim starts dipping down. He's getting a little sleepy. Sure. I ordered a second martini. Now, the waiter came around and was like, anything else? And I was like, I'll have another martini. Did you hear me order that? And did you think it was a bad idea?

I didn't think it was a bad idea because you didn't show signs of like being too drunk see cool calm collected yeah jeff's the problem yeah keep going then i drank my second martini i i how much of my prime rib did i eat did i clean my plate i think you got most of it yeah okay good a typical i probably would have finished up but yeah i would have licked that plate clean on a normal night and in eating the bone with my hands i was doing that with my hands and it looks like a caveman so from my point of view i'm there i'm pretty focused on my martini and my beef i'm still not talking to dave or chris um i sort of like check a work email maybe we were talking about nope a lot the movie no the movie no right okay good leslie no got it yeah um i remember being kind feeling kind of fine maybe a little sleepy and then suddenly tim it hits me you're gonna you got

the spins and you and you got to get out of here because when you got the spins with your eyes open that's rough it's rough it's bad news so i felt it i didn't feel barfy i felt pass outy and i said i gotta get out of here. I, the one thing I remembered is I had to give you my Lowry's VIP card. Yep. Cause we had points on there. Thank you.

And I'm getting this all secondhand, but I think you said something like I got to throw up because they looked for you in the bathroom. Is that right? Yeah. We went to look for you in the bathroom and you weren't there. So I did not throw, I stood up and I walked out. My memory,

this is a blackout story, folks. You marched out. Very suddenly have to get out, this is a blackout story, folks. You marched out. Very suddenly, I have to get out of this restaurant. I stand up, I'm walking out, and I remember the walk through the dining room thinking, Tim, stand upright, play it straight. No one knows you're drunk.

You're going to walk out of here. And then the blackout happens there. In transit. Wow. On the move. On the move. Dangerous. Before, there was one other,

I mean, there was funny parts of the whole night, but not funny parts, dangerous nights. Dangerous parts. That's not what we want to say. They were bad. But there was a, Tim at one point is seasoning his steak. Half of it's been eaten, but now he starts seasoning it. He remembers, this thing needs to be seasoned.

With the Lowry salt. And you shook it up and down like a Muppet would like was I being funny trying to be funny I don't think so because uh like you when you usually do it you you aim it like down that's what one would do you were just kind of aiming it up and down it was flying everywhere and it was like I go Tim easy with that stuff and you looked at me like you did not understand what i said even today to this day and now i've got i've got pepper and salt in my drinks i remember putting salt and pepper on my bread and butter and it was being too salty it was too salt it was being too salty it was giving saltiness yes so i stopped I stopped that. But anyway, so do you want to hear the rest of it from my point of view? Yes, yes, yes.

Walking through the dining room, time warp to the sound of my friends laughing. Okay, but stop here. That's good. That's a good cliffhanger. Michael? Yes. What was your experience? My experience was after about 15 minutes, I said, where's our friend Tim?

I went to the bathroom to see where he was throwing up. He was not in there. My assumption is he did what you did and got an Uber home. Right. So I went back to the table and hung out with Chris and Dave for about 40 more minutes. That was a half hour. We had a tough time with the bill. That was a mess.

Just trying to do math with drunk heads? Yeah. Because they had had some drinks, too, at that point. And hey, let's be honest. My VIP guard got us a bunch of money off. It did. 50 bucks off. That's good.

So then it was time to leave. We go outside. Kind of close the place down a little bit. And you're still kind of waiting for Tim to show back up. Yeah. Yeah, cool, calm, collected. Crew's in wearing a new suit. Right.

And we go outside. And then I'm texting Tim. Well, I text Tim about halfway through after I look for him in the bathroom to leaving. You know, you still alive, one of those types of texts. And no response. We go outside, and I call you. No response. And then we're like, all right, Chris went over to a different bar to see if you were there.

Dave went on the main street. I looked in some bushes. I text Jessica. Tim went a little hard at dinner. He left the table and hasn't come back. Do you have contact with him? which is I text Jessica. Tim went a little hard at dinner. He left the table and hasn't come back. Do you have contact with him? She didn't respond.

She had a show. So now it's time to just assume he got a lift home. We walk to, because Chris is going to drive me home now, we walk to the car, and right as we turn around, Chris goes, oh, there he is. And Tim is sleeping on his side, hands under his cheek on a flatbed trailer. Detached from a truck. Just the trailer. Yeah, just the trailer on the road, on the street.

Parallel parked on the street. Right under a street light. Just perfectly, perfectly silhouette, you know. Yeah, spotlighted. know yeah spotlight highlighted spotlighted yeah so i remember uh giggle giggle i look up there's my friends like damn what are you doing and you take a picture of me so i pose for it but for me i really it was a time warp i didn't remember looking for a place to sleep i didn't remember seeing that trailer but i'll be honest i kind of then felt good like when i woke up then did i seem slurry and stuff a little bit but you kept being

like i feel like i just slept for four hours yeah and you were like where were you guys and you're like well we were inside you know finishing the meal and paying and you were like it's weird that you were in there for so long you're the weird weird one. Yeah. And when you see this flatbed, you will understand it's perfectly clean, wide, and under a light. If I was drunk and looking at that,

I would say, yeah, I'm going to sleep on that thing. It was like a nice big bed. It was like looking at a big, clean, queen-sized bed on the middle of the street. My theory, and Tim,

maybe you can fill me in here. It seemed like you would go onto that because it was like bed height. Yeah. Like you would just kind of roll onto it. I thought i was home incredibly inviting it was the same height as my bed and it looked like my bed and i slept great came home here's the weird thing later that night like clarity maybe maybe it's the caffeine in the four loco or something but like i was up like at like 11 30 just like walking around my apartment, watching TV,

being a normal guy. Really? Yeah. I remember waking up at 130 and having the sort of like racing brain. Yeah. Kind of a hangover thing, but not feeling queasy, not feeling headachy. And even the next morning, you know, I had vivid dreams all night and it was weird and I slept bad, but I didn't have a hangover in the classical sense. Yeah.

I woke up in the middle of the night with that feeling like your whole pulse is in your whole head and body. I think it's that weird caffeine rebound thing. Or like your body rebounding from the alcohol. So I would say this is a recap. We call this a recap. I would say it's more of a cautionary tale. Don't drink the sidewalks.

Stick to the original recipe. Don't add the two martinis. I don't even think we did final thoughts last time. I would say it's more of a cautionary tale. Don't drink the sidewalk slander. Stick to the original recipe. Don't add the two martinis. I don't even think we did final thoughts last time. I would say that this is not an order again. Yeah, I'm sure we said that. But it's funny. I mean, it's nice to know there's a drink that fucks you up that much. Isn't that funny? Yeah. Yeah, it's a fun, it was a fun

event. Yeah. I also lucked out because Mickey's, I feel like Mickey's and Fruit Punch were the best combo. Sure. Yeah. I also lucked out because Mickey's, I feel like Mickey's and Fruit Punch were the best combo. Sure. Yeah. Tamashanter, go there and if my prime rib is left over, see if I'll give it to you for free. Yeah. If I'm still

allowed in there, I'd love to meet you there sometime. That's great. Michael, any final thoughts? Thanks for listening to the recap. Yeah. Hey, we'll Instagram that picture of me in that trailer at some point. It'll be fun. You guys can laugh. Great.

Okay. Now, this time for real. Goodbye, folks. Thanks for listening. Give it up for your boys. I'll see you next week. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys.

Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys