The Sloppy Boys - 99. Alabama Slammer

Episode Date: September 9, 2022

The guys combine discordant ingredients for a college-y concoction.ALABAMA SLAMMER1oz/30ml Southern Comfort1oz/30ml Sloe Gin1oz/30ml Amaretto Liqueur2oz/60ml Orange JuiceAdd ingredients into a shaker filled with ice. Shake until well-chilled. Strain into a highball glass over fresh ice. Or, if serving as a shot, divide among shot glasses. Garnish with orange wedge.Recipe via Liquor.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to episode 99 of the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Michael Hanford. Wayne Gretzky style-y. Sorry, Tim. I'm talking from you. And Tim Kalpakis. What is up, Wayne Gretzky style-ys?

Oh, I thought you would for sure have said another Los Angeles superstar athlete. Aaron Donaldson. Linebacker for the Rams, Los Angeles Lions. What if I said, uh, upside down Mario Lemieux style. Yeah, that's right. Hanging from a fucking rollercoaster.

This is how the style these work. I was coming into this episode thing. I was actually going to say back to school style is because we've crested labor day and our drink today is going to kind of be kind of ecology drink. Yes. More books. I heard 99 and i was able to pivot mike before you said wayne gretzky i had already decided i was gonna say wayne gretzky that's what that's what i thought and uh that's why when i said i said oh that's

tim's thing i'm sure he got it but um there is also something very uh what's the word I'm looking for? Very, you can set your watch to it that if the number 99 or 66 comes up, you can almost guarantee Tim and I are going to say, wait, Gretzky, I'm a part of you. Same thing with Michael Jordan. 23 comes up, ooh, Michael Jordan, MJ. I got a lot of those. I don't know what this phenomenon is called

but I'm trying to eradicate it where and yeah like if someone says Thursday phenomenon that might be a heavy word I guess disorder maybe but I have maybe 200 perpetual annoyance

when somebody says Thursday my brain says thirsty Thursdayursday i'll be at the bar oh yeah and the effort it takes for me to not say that uh oh yeah it's tricky i've got a ton of them it's yeah i don't know what it is it's annoying it doesn't nobody's like yes yes wayne gretzky would you say 99 yes Ah, yes, yes, that's good. There's a lot of them, 230. Oh, yeah, that's bound to have me say that I have a dentist appointment.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's not the best thing to do. It's funny if you do it around people who you're not around a lot. They're like, oh, yeah, funny. Yeah, but that's what's funny is like, it's not a joke. So if the person hearing it for the first time, they're not going to laugh. They're going to be like, oh, so you say dumb things.

Right. You say them once and you're like, no, no, I say them many times. Every time. Folks, we want to hear from you. What are the annoying things you say on repeat that people around you roll their eyes at? On another topic I had to bring up at the top of the show. Jeff, you are wearing a white tank top and when you

leaned back right now, I saw it had a cool graphic on it. What does it say? I won this at Trivia. Timothy. Drink marvelously. It's a Kettle One. Okay, in sort of a rainbow medieval font. It's a pride tank top that both Mookie and I won at Trivia. For Kettle One. Okay, in sort of a rainbow medieval font. It's a pride tank top that both Mookie and I won at Trivia.

For Kettle One. For Kettle One, yeah. Oh, for Kettle One. Which bar? Cat and Fiddle. Oh. New Location. New Location.

It's probably like a six-year-old Location by now, but I haven't been. I was just going to say say this is sort of an interesting thing but until me and mike were cracking you up and you lean back and i saw the lettering i thought you were just wearing an a shirt uh formerly known by a problematic uh title and and stereotypically assigned to mobsters and uh yes defaming Italian-Americans, but I thought you were very bravely wearing a ribbed A shirt, and I was liking it.

I thought that was cool. Well, you know, recently I've been doing some gold chains, I've been doing some cologne, and I said, why not throw on the tank top? And if you're just a guy like walking around an apartment in Los Feliz but walking around being like this old like you're

gonna start playing boxing ball I love me around here I would love if your thing becomes like the tank top shirts puma warm up pants and like slip on adidas things with socks hanging out front of the pork shop yeah I I got it I promised to myself I keep not making is

buying a tracksuit specifically for flights I gotta wear the tracksuit I started in the past ooh let's say two years flying in sweatpants i you know yeah it's wonderful in the sky to be a comfortable boy mike it's acceptable now you could wear like athleisure joggery shit athleisure man it's it it came along with the pandemic and we all dress like we're in our living rooms outside man can you imagine when people used to to dress up to go on a flight? Like they would wear a suit. Can you imagine wearing a fucking suit on a plane? Well, I think people...

Suits must have just fit better and felt better. No, they were coarser. Woolier. You think? I think life was just worse. They were wool suits. And you just didn't know the difference? They were so excited to be on a plane.

No shit. You're a fucking moron. I guess maybe they probably didn't pack them in? They were so excited to be on a plane. No shit. You're a fucking moron. I guess maybe they probably didn't pack them in the way that they do now. You know? It's probably a little more spacious. No, no. The planes.

The planes. The people were smaller. Oh, that's... They weren't packing up in the crotches of the pants. Kind of true, I think. I wonder if... Yeah. Were the seats more comfortable? Hmm.

I don't know. They couldn't have been more comfortable, but it was more exciting. It was the Mad Men, Ladies of Pan Am lounge vibes. And you could smoke. That's wild. Could you imagine sitting on a cross-country flight with smoke all over the place? I hate cigarette smoke, and I've never been a smoker, but I bet I would be if you could smoke on a plane just because it's something to do, you know?

Yeah. Especially because they didn't have little TVs. Yeah. Hey, I haven't smoked a stogie in a while. Remember we did that stogie episode? Yeah, that was supposed to be our whole personality. I was going to do the stogies all the time. Yeah, we were like, we're going to do this now.

This is our thing now. You'll see me on tour. Go into your G-Cal and enter it. Stogie. Once every hour. The remaining episodes of the tour, I will be smoking stog me on tour. Go into your G-Cal and enter it. Stogie. Once every hour. The remaining episodes of the tour, I will be smoking Stogies. On stage. God, that's the worst.

Paying the fees. For a tour, that's the worst thing. Can you imagine? That would look cool, actually. That would look really cool. Yeah? Well, what do you say we get into a little BIP? Yeah.

Yes. Booze News? The one and only. Oh, booze news. Yeah, hit it. I gotta hear the magic words or I can't play the thing, Tim. Hit it! Oh, yeah. Banger.

Banger. I woke up in the morning and there was nothing gone. Yeah, we went to look for you in the bathroom and there was Timothy gone. Yeah, we went to look for you in the bathroom and you weren't there. He didn't give me warning. Oh, where has Timothy gone? Well, I text Tim about halfway through after I see him or look for him in the bathroom to leaving.

You know, you still alive. One of those types of texts. Where is Tim? And then we're like, all right, Chris went over to a different bar to see if you were there. Dave went on like the main street. I looked in some bushes. And right as we like turn around, Chris goes, oh, there he is. And Tim is sleeping on his side, hands under his cheek on a flatbed trailer.

Detached from a truck, just the trailer. Yeah, just the trailer on the road. It's Booze News. You piss drunk cocks. Where's Tim was sent to us by Shelly Brooks and if you have a booze news theme email it to the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com

was that a reference to Mike snoring at the very end I don't know it was probably you snoring sleeping on the truck bed oh there you go although I have been documented by our little documentarian Jeff Dutton

who likes to He's very interested in the science of my sleep for some reason Hey that's good gotcha journalism He's a little John Wilson Hey speaking of which I'm coming in with the top story Sorry Tim No Scandal rocks the pod Sorry, Tim. No! Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Scandal rocks the pod. Whoa! As co-host Mike Hanford, a.k.a. the Big Hand Bopper, is caught gallivanting around joyriding in Ubers in the Big Apple on the company dime? Michael! Hold on a second. Mike! Wait a minute.

You attack me? You ambush me like this on my own show? This was news. No, continue on with your story. No, here to comment is Mike Hanford. Go for it. This was news to me. Very

prominent people on my team had no idea this was happening. Who's that, like Tig? we did not know yeah tig runs my finances we did not know that my sloppy boys card was was used for uber for months for months and months so yes i've been around i've've been driving around and Jeff looking at the bill. Thank God Jeff is looking at the bill. I said, what is this? And, of course, like one doesn't flag it because also I thought Uber Eats, maybe you got some slow gin delivered or something. I think it probably was when I had COVID.

That's maybe how it started. And then it just sort of stuck around, didn't it? Stuck around. It was conveniently forgotten about. Hold on, though. What are you guys using this card for? I bought Slow Gin with my own money. Do you guys buy Slow Gin on the company card?

Of course. Well, I would say I try to do like a third of my booze I put on the card. Okay, I got to look through this statement, and I'm going to ask for money, because I have not put anything on this card ever. Well, you never did. That's insane. That's weird. What do you think we have the cards for? I thought you put stuff on the card when it's for all three of us, because that's a show expense.

And if you're putting separate stuff. You definitely do do that. That we do. That we do do. Well, I have done that when I'm picking up a bill for our dinner or something like that. Yes. But when I'm buying my own slow gin, I'm assuming three bottles of slow gin are being bought by three different guys.

I've lost thousands of dollars. This means that you guys are getting paid thousands more dollars than me for this show. No, that's not true. I love it. We'll figure it out. Here's what I will say about that. I love it. If you guys are cool with it, i will leave it out here's what uh

here's the thing though about the uh i usually forget to buy it on the uh company card me too i did today that's not good enough for me that usually i i'm telling you i don't put anything on the company card of my own well then now now you start and we stop i mean okay you start for a little while we stop we're not going to do this scientifically it's going to kind of be a feel it's going to be a feel this is going to give me a fucking panic attack when i look in that statement and see how much you guys are charging there because i could be out but you think i'm not having business you don't need to be out anymore you're falling asleep on the truck bed.

You need to stay home. No, I'm going. I'm out with Jack Schramm every night of the week, okay? This is research for the show. The Schrammer. Yes, I think this is... Thank you, Jeff, for flagging this Uber thing. This is great.

Sure. Because I think this is a great opportunity for us as an LLC to tighten down on our spending, look at what we're spending on, and really, let's come up with a new budget. Let's get a budget going. We'll all three vote on it. Well, my budget was zero. This is sort of a business ethics decision. Yes. This is great. This is a great

opportunity, and I thank you so much, Jim. I think it's cool to know that we're going to be better from now on. Mm-hmm. Yes. So what's the actual booze news okay well this was creeping up over the summer and i said no i got bigger fish to fry but then it kept creeping and creeping and then the thing has exploded it's you're it's gonna be familiar to you i creep yeah i'm creeping and i'm creeping here's what's going on out there folks

and it wasn't going to be i wasn't going to have it in the running as drink of the summer but now this fall we can talk about the fucking vegetable cocktails are not going away listen all right this they're not going away no i brought it up once and you guys said this will go away what it was i'm still waiting for it to arrive well here's the case is mounting the guardian says are vegetable martinis really the drink of the summer and they're talking about some martini that has gherkins one is a green spice martini a britney asparagus martini a piccoltini um and then a celery martini, a Brittany asparagus, martini, a pickle teeny. Um, and then a celery martini. Now you're probably thinking that's just one article.

No. Okay. Mashed is saying how the vegetable martini became London's trendiest drink. They're talking about avocado martinis, tomato martinis. You guys are probably thinking, well, that's the last article.

No. Bustle says, trust me, pickle martinis are the new it drink of the season. And you guys are like, well, that's the last article. No! Bustle says, trust me, pickle martinis are the new it drink of the season. And you guys are like, well, that's the end of that. No! That's got to be it. Oh, shit.

Punch has an article saying all the ways to tomato your cocktail. And it's all about different infusions and different ways to get tomato in your cocktail. Veggie cocktails. Are you seeing them out there, folks? Jeez, I haven't seen one. Me neither but i do believe that um they're on the way sounds like the mainstream media would have us believe that they're they've arrived they're see these articles sort of smack of like hey people want to get back in the office it's like who's behind this?

I think tomatoes are not selling as well as they could be, so they're writing these articles. Oh, shit. You think this is all connected? Oh, it's the tomato lobby. You think that news is a business? The pickle lobby, the celery lobby. The Maynards. I do think pickles, though, man.

I've been thinking about a pickle martini for years and years. Never had the fucking guts to do it. Yep. Pretty good. I've had a pickled. out a pickle martini for years and years never had the fucking guts to do it yep pretty good i had a pickled i've had those pickled onions you know those you know that you put in a gibson but then i had white fellas yeah but then by a similar brand i had pickled tomatoes that were like cajun those were good but Cherry tomatoes? Like little guys? Little guys. They're actually green because they're like unripe

when they pickle them. Ooh. But at a bar, still the only one I've had is Cantiki in Glendale has a dirty tomato martini. It's delicious. Oh, I would do that.

Yeah. I need a reason to go to Cantiki. Otherwise, it's not wowing me. Oh. Ouch. You joke, but Stoney Sharp recently texted me about Kanteke. Hey, nice. Hey, and then let's not forget, sometimes you find a free chest of ice cold beers.

Oh, yeah. Oh, that was Kanteke? We never named it for some reason because we were hoping there would be more chests of beers. But now that it's out in the open, guys, we were hanging out at Kanteaky, drinking scorpion bowls, and then we saw a cooler, a brand new fresh cooler full of icy

fucking Coors Lights, and we've chugged them. Unattended, unsupervised, and then you know us. Gone. Gone. Yeah, going, going, gone. This is great. Where has Cantiki gone?

No, where has Cooler's Light gone? There you go. Now, going back, thanks for bringing that up, Tim. Going back to the song today for Booze News, that was getting a little on the long side and a little on the, I mean, long side for the sample. Get a little scary. Folks, we love when you send us a theme. Just try not to get us arrested.

That's not going to hold up in court. We're going to get put away. You don't want your favorite podcasters to be put away for 8 to 10? Yeah, I wouldn't mind if it was 8 to 10 p.m. each night. Kind of keep me off the streets. But if it were 8 to 10 years, that's night kind of keep me off the streets but if it were eight to ten years that's bad that's bad um hey does anybody else have any booze news no oh wait wait wait i wanted to say one more thing which was uh just because on the topic of weird stuff and martinis there was a whole velveta was trying to get us to talk about the Velveeta martini, and we didn't take the bait, but that was out there.

That was kind of a fakey, twittery thing that they did. That was too. That's disgusting. Oh, and then wait, wait, wait one more time. Go for it. This is just a little bit of tiny forecasting for next week's show. You guys know we catch up every week, and we have a great time doing it, and then a lot of people don't know that I edit a little bit of the show and upload it.

Just making sure everything's best foot forward. And when I listen to myself in playback, this is what I say to myself. This is what I say to myself. Yeah. You say like too much. You say that to yourself. It took me a minute to think of like, how do I tee up this drop? This is what I say to myself.

Is that the hives? Who is that? That's rivers, baby. That's falling for you. Let's do it, baby. I'm shaking that true tone. That's falling for you. Let's do it, baby. Pinkerton. I'm shaking that true touch. You say like too much.

I'm shaking that true touch. Last time you were out here, Mike, I came up with this idea. I said it would be nice to remedy this, that I could grow as a on-mic persona. Yeah. And I thought that maybe if I zapped myself every time I said like, I would cure myself of this bad habit. Torture it away. Didn't we call this the simile episode where Tim says like and as? If I say as, Jeff gets zapped as well.

No, you should get zapped. Well, you only have one collar, right? Yeah, maybe I can rectify that by next week. So you're putting a collar on. Yeah, I have a dog training collar. Yikes. And then next week, every time I say like as a verbal crutch, I can say, you know, I like the new Jordan Peele movie.

But if I say it as a crutch. Zap, zap. Is it, have you tried it yet? Does it hurt, zap. Damn. Have you tried it yet? Does it hurt? Yes. Whoa. And I tried it on low.

Wow. Maybe we'll do a thing where every time I get zapped, we'll turn it up a notch. No. That would be fun. I would do it. I can't do this, Jeff. I love it. Also, one of my favorite jackass moments is when they're kind of zapping people with that and then they cut Stu to Knoxville taking it on his taint.

Oh, no. Or somebody spreading their legs for it and be like, I like it. And Jeff, I think that the negative reinforcement, I think it'll work. I like it. And Jeff, I think that the negative reinforcement, I think it'll work. I think you'll start to Pavlovianly start to want to say the word like, and then you'll become scared and covered in cold sweat, and then you won't say the word. I have a feeling that- There will just be a long pause.

I might not say much of anything. Yeah, that's what I'm worried about, is that you just get quiet, and I have a feeling you're going to have a nightmare that night. I bet. See, when you first brought this up, Jeff, you know what I'm worried about. You just get quiet, and I have a feeling you're going to have a nightmare that night. I bet. See, when you first brought this up, Jeff, you know what I said to myself? What? When you were saying, I say like too much to myself, I was saying, pipe dream. This is a pipe dream.

This will never happen. But you went out, and you did it. You got the equipment. You know what? Especially early on in the podcast, we volleyed around a lot of weird ideas. You might remember we we committed to a bottle flipping contest after we watched cocktail yep oh yeah right in one year's time we'll come back and we'll see who can do like the best bottle tricks never happened and i said

you know i don't want to i'm not so much dying to do the bottle flip contest but i don't want this to be a podcast full of empty promises and a lot of big talk. Aside from the bottle thing, we're going to do everything we talk about. From now on, we're committing to everything. If I want to say a thing that's just sort of like a funny

hypothetical because it's a podcast, I'm a podcaster, I want to get a laugh, I have to then follow through on everything I say. Even if it's painful, expensive, irresponsible. I have to then follow through on everything I say. Even if it's painful, expensive, irresponsible. I think it would be funny if you guys gave me a hundred bucks. We'll get into the next episode about how you got the thing and how expensive it was and all that. Sure.

But that is it for Booze News, yes? Wrap it up. Yes. but that is it for Booze News yes? Wrap it up yes Ghostbusters what was that? That's good that's from the Ghostbusters Nintendo game Ghostbusters you don't remember that Tim? Have you heard that? the shitty vocal sample

I remember that game I played that game it was terrible that's one of those games that's like, yeah, one of the hardest games to play. It has no point to it. One more time. It's so shitty. That's a famous E.T. was also

the Atari E.T. game was famously bad. Did you guys ever play I want to say it was Nintendo Back to the Future no i was that's what i was gonna bring up i heard about it i i think you have to collect the little clocks i played it you would be you're marty mcfly and you're skateboarding and then there would be like these bumblebees you're trying to not hit there's no bumblebees in the movie but it'd be like like careful of the bumblebee you guys play remember paper boy that game i yeah i did it for super that was a fun

game uh but it was one of those ones where like the the the screen was set up so strangely you had like a little tiny area to move around when you're just throwing newspapers around yes yes odd very odd game hey jeff that's cool how you just said, I played it for super. You don't say Super Nintendo. Super. No, people know. Yeah, they know. I played it for super.

That's like in The Sopranos when Big Pussy, they're talking about Godfather Part 2, and he's like, yeah, it's in two. He just says two. Yeah, that's the best. The familiarity. In two. Hey, did you guys ever play Adam's Family Fester's Quest for Nintendo? That was like another one where I was just like,

what is the deal with this? I liked Adam's Family, but so I would just, you know, you buy it and then you're like, I don't understand it. This game's too hard. The Ninja Turtles won game two. Super hard. Yeah, all these movie games, difficult.

Guys, is this the Geek Shit Pod? No. Nope, nope. This is the Cocktail Pod, and let me talk to you boys today. Maybe we should just be the Geek Shit Pod. Let me talk to you boys today about the cocktail of the day. Sweet home Alabama. Slammer. It's alabama slammer today what do you think of that dude i like it so far it's great i like so far this is a winner

oh the alabama slammer i've got to ask you've had i've heard never, never had. I've heard, I've always wanted, always intrigued, have not had. I've heard, never had. I've heard, I've heard and I've misconstrued. Oh, now that's interesting. I do want to get back to that. What does that mean to you, Jeff? Because we just did the sidewalk slammer and I thought that this was going to be a real ass kicker. Right, I thought this was like to be a real ass kicker right i thought

this was perplexing when you look at the the the ingredient list it's it's got some surprises you wouldn't think for this type of a drink yeah but it doesn't it's not a prank drink it's not a uh go fall asleep on a flatbed drink no but it kind of might be like i don't know yeah we don't know we don't know it could be well why why do i. Why did I even volunteer to bring up this drink today? You guys want to talk about it? You do. This is color commentary. This is not color commentary.

This is bothering me. Okay, I've got color commentary, but I'm going to sit on until you talked about the drink. I'll give you something to sit on. All right. Here we go. The Alabama Slammer. The history behind it is not that interesting. No, it's somewhat interesting, but there's not a lot of variation on it.

Mike, don't editorialize. Just give us the facts. I don't want to hear it's not interesting. Here's one of these things where we're never going to get to the drink at this point. Oh, we really needed to waste time on you saying it's uninteresting? That needed to be said? Sweet home Alabama. Man, we're back to waste time on you saying it's uninteresting? That needed to be said? Sweet home Alabama. We're back.

Slamma. Yeah, this is good. Just redo from the top. I wonder if Leonard Skinner, if a version of that band is touring, if they do sweet home Alabama slamma. So this is one of those drinks where, kind of obscure history, but pretty, it's like the same one every other website

has. In the 70s, somebody made it and they started drinking it at Alabama University at the football games. Sure. University of Alabama, whatever you call it. So it's like a tailgate college drink. Yeah, but here's the thing. University of Alabama, not you call it. So it's like a tailgate college drink. Yeah.

But here's the thing. University of Alabama. Not Alabama University. It started, so the legend goes, as a shot. But we're doing it as a cocktail. And I think as I was reading through it, I was like, oh yeah, the shot is what I've heard more about.

Because that's what you would slam. Yeah, that's the slam part of it and which makes more sense that it was a college drink but i was out at the venice room the other night and there was a buttery nipple shot and she said you want it as a shot or a cocktail i said i'll have it as a cocktail and then i was sipping and i was like well this is too sweet to have as a cocktail i should have got it as a shot what is the buttery nipple? Is that like caramel taste? Yeah, it's Bailey's and butterscotch schnapps, so it's a real sweet fest.

Delicious. It's like a dessert. If somebody ever asked me, hey, do you want that as a cocktail or a shot? I say, same price? Half price, right? But with cubes? And then I would get a cocktail. This is a drink, the Alabama Slammer is a drink that I feel like you hear

about it, you kind of have different ideas of what it might be. It's not popular anymore. It was like 70s, 80s, and 90s. Dark ages. Definitely a college. Dark ages. Definitely a cocktail drink. I'm assuming it's going to be sweet, maybe, based on what's in it. Well, we don't

know what's in it, Mike. You've got to tell us. We don't know what's in it mike you gotta tell us we don't know what's in it yet but we will get to it yeah but it was uh like during a time when like a lot of orange juice was being used in the 70s like harvey wallbanger and screwdriver yeah screwdriver but this was the slow comfortable screw was the slow gin and so cal or soco southern comfort uh let me tell you what's in this little son of a gun you know what it's a pretty yeah but somebody once told me lately they were like yeah my parents used to do a drink called like a slow comfortable screw against the wall and my brothers and i would be like oh and i said actually you

know those each stand for an ingredient. The slow is slow. And they were like, we don't care. Shut up. They threw me out of there. It's a screwdriver. It's a wall banger. They wanted me gone.

They wanted you out. I kind of want you out of this fucking pod. For saying the truth. What's right is not always popular. Can I say something? And what's popular is not always right. Can I say something for once on this bond yeah sure um uh mike i'm looking at the uh i'm wondering if you investigate this i'm looking at the wikipedia page

it says the alabama slammer is claimed to have been made famous by quarterback brett farve really i did not read that i wonder how so. So then I'm wondering, did he go to Alabama? I click on him. No. He went to Southern Miss. So... Stolen valor. I don't think he did it. Interesting. And also made famous. What does that mean?

He's 6'2", 222. I'm 6'2", 213. Hmm. Huh. I'd love to see you two play one-on-one football. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I guess he has the height and weight advantage, so he'd win. And, you know, for being fair, the experience.

Yeah, he has football experience. What does that sport look like, one-on-one football? A guy just running it and the other guy tackling him, I guess. Okay. Which might be good because he's not used to running he's a qb so we're talking about a college they mentioned the shot here too it's we're talking about a college drink a southern kind of college you drink for the 70s and then the 80s tgi fridays had it as a shaker shot like a picture oh you could get a picture i don't like

saying he made he popularized it like it was already a drink, but because he's cool and he drank them that now he wants to be synonymous with it. Well, he didn't say he popularized it. People said that he... You think that he's writing this Wikipedia page? Yeah, I think he's punching in and doing the code.

Well, actually, yeah. I made this drink so popular. I'll write the Wikipedia. I made it popular enough. I clicked on the uh the you the wikipedia user at the bottom here and yeah it says at the bar it's jerry rice oh that's interesting um all right here's what's in this damn drink and it's very easy to make yeah i'm like sorry tim jumped on your presentation that's fine i thought i thought

i'm out of steam i'm out of. Oh, is it not interesting to hear about an NFL player? No, it is. I've got nothing new to say. Let me tell you the ingredients. One ounce Southern Comfort SoCo. Yeah. One ounce Slow Gin. You mean a SoCo?

Yes, right. One ounce Slow Gin. You ever have slow gin? I have never. My first time. When my roommate Joe got back to college one semester of school, he was like, guys, I became a bartender and I brought back all the stuff. And he had like a full bar.

And then at the end of the semester, all we had left was slow gin. And it was red, red and syrupy. And we were making slow gin fizzes with it. But I don't understand what it is. The next is one ounce Amaretto liquor. I have DeSorona. You know I put it on my ice cream. Yep. I have some that Tim brought me.

I got DeSorona too and you know what I put on my company card. Two ounces orange juice. Freshly squeezed. Yeah. I don't know about that freshly squeezed part but keep yeah no no garnish with an orange wedge great okay all you do is you take all the ingredients so easy one one one and two right just put it into a shaker with ice, shake it. They don't say it here, but shake it. Strain into a highball glass over fresh ice. Yeah.

Yeah. Or serving as a shot, divide among shot glasses. Garnish with an orange wedge. This is one I think I want to, when I get to a, next time I get myself out to a bar and it's shot time, I'm going to say, hey, you know what? Four Alabama Slammers. Wait a second.

I tried to order. Did either of you guys come with me to see licorice pizza in Westwood? No. I feel like it was like me, Mitch, Mookie, and Jessica went to see licorice Pizza at the Regency when they were doing the screenings at UCLA. And we had to kill time before the movie. So we went to the nearest bar and it was Barney's Beanery. And we ate dinner at Barney's Beanery. And I have long heard tell of an Alabama Slammer and never had one.

So I was like, guys guys maybe this feels like the type of place that would have an alabama slammer barney's beanery is kind of a collegey partyish bar is that the one where you saw the soup knots yet um is there no but i saw rab himself at the one in weho yeah i'm thinking of the weho one um and i heard that bono likes the potato skins at the one in weho but i there i am westwood licorice pizza night i look the waitress square in the eyes and i say hey do you have an alabama slammer and she says i'm new here let me go check she walks away for a long time i shouldn't have let that happen she comes back sorry we don't and i was humiliated so if it's kind of i'm wondering where you could find this at any bar if they don't have it at barney's beanery i feel like this is a make

make it at your college party type of drink those should be uh ingredients so that a bar has oh slow gin i looked up what slow gin is it's a red liqueur made of y of gin and slows s-L-O-E-S. That's a fruit. Sloes. It's like infused with a sweet fruit. But here's the thing. I got sloe gin for the very first time. Not red. Not syrupy. I think it's clear. I couldn't find mine in the liquor store. Mine's red and syrupy.

I asked the guy who worked there, and he went to the area where the Kuypers and the peppermint liqueurs and everything. I like oh it's this type of thing i'm looking for clear gin i went to wally's a fancy liquor store i spent 55 of my own money on a fancy bottle of slow gin and i'm gonna use one ounce in a dumb ass college drink um yeah but i did have one last thing i wanted to say before we go to break go for it tim i remembered earlier today where i where i was like oh i know where pop where pop culture has mentioned an alabama slammer there's a red hot chili pepper song about an al where he says alabama slammer and then i googled it and i couldn't find it and i was like is it danny california and then guess what came up john daly's fake red hot chili pepper song oh is that where alabama slammer came

from that's where i heard it because uh oh anthony ketis mentions alabama something something hammer in danny california and then john daly when he did that internet hoax about um that was great he posted online was like oh the the new red hot chili peppers super bowl halftime show song yeah and and it got like millions of listens i listened to it today and he says i drink us i drink an alabama slammer with your sexy ass grandma um so i've been walking around for years thinking that was a line from the real song and um and i emailed john to be like hey do you actually drink have you ever had an alabama slammer or did you just put in the song and he didn't email me back yet he will he will he will probably he will during the show yeah well i uh i predict i'm gonna like

this drink it's got some it seems like it's going to be pretty sweet. There's some orange juice in it, some amaretto, and, you know, who wouldn't love that? Oh, no. Don't. No. Hey, we didn't like that. Mike, we didn't do Good Band, Bad Band. Oh, Good Band, Bad Band isn't every episode.

Okay, but one episode. Who wouldn't love that? It's going to be every episode? Who didn't love that? Hey! Is hey part of it? Hey is part of it. And it comes after? No, it comes before.

Hey! It never sounds like, who wouldn't love that? It sounds like, who did not love that? Yeah, I know. It's one of those weird things. Yeah, it is one of those weird things. It's one of those things. It's a voice that, like, I know. It's one of those weird things. Yeah, it is one of those weird things. It's one of those things. It's like, it's a little, it's a voice that like, it's fun to do.

The people around you might not like it, but if you got a fun voice, who wouldn't love that? Who wouldn't love that? Hey! Who wouldn't love that? Who wouldn't love that? All right, folks. I can't take any more of this.

Did we say the method of the shaking and all that? Yeah, we did. We even said garnish with orange. Fine. Well, I was thinking about my John Daly anecdote. I got to cut up an orange? Ooh, this is going to get rough. Folks, we got to go cut up an orange when we come back for sips.

You know it's, yeah, for sips. Who would not love that? Yes, who wouldn't love that? As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca.

And we're back with Alabama Slammers. Let's see them. Oh, yeah. Put a huge... Look at the size of that thing in there. Yeah, I had to go small glass, and now my orange looks silly. Me too. Oh, yours look more orange than mine.

Mine's like a real... Red, boy. Red. Yeah, my slow gin was red, actually. Yeah, so was mine. It better be. It's still a little nip. It was sweet, actually. Yeah, so was mine. It better be. I stole a little nip. It was sweet, too.

Yeah. I tasted everything. That DeSarono's good, too. Yeah, DeSarono's dynamite. Good for you for putting that on the ice cream, Tim. Doesn't it seem redundant to have, like, a sweet gin and a sweet Amaretto and a sweet SoCo? What are we doing here? Yeah, I think, and orange juice.

And I don't buy that college kids are throwing together De Sirono and slow gin and stuff. No, and you know what's weird? I looked at this. Other recipes I found have vodka in it, and that makes so much more sense, that it's like a kicked up screwdriver. Vodka.

Vodka. But the one that we used was liquor liquor.com and there was no vodka and then also on the the wikipedia page has the original old school recipe and that from playboy bartender's guide in 1971 that is different uh ratio but it has uh little OJ, almost to the point where it's like not a juicy drink at all. But there's no vodka in that. Juicy. Let the sips decide. Zip time.

Oh, boy. Tastes like a Kool-Aid. Is this one of those cases where sweet drinks do good on pod i think so i mean i i like it it's funny it's uh it's not what i thought an alabama slammer would ever be no i feel like in we love looking at those ratios right one one one two but i feel like the soco has taken over a bit soco is another one that uh i feel like is a big name and i just have not come across it in a decade so yeah we should do a deep dive on it because people hate it people have bad memories people say like dude college soco i've been buying it kind of recently almost as a joke but if you have it on the rocks it's very cheap right so i know it's not good but it's not

unlike a an old-fashioned or something it's it's like sugared up with whiskey because it's still you know it's not 80 proof what is it what is what's the actual proof on a... Mine is 80 proof, but I got one with a black label. Did you guys get one with a black label? Oh, black label SoCo. No, it's also, I should say, the label is very clearly like off by a few degrees. Oh, you got like a homemade SoCo. Yeah, you know when you get a bottle and it's got the two dents on the side where your fingers are supposed to pinch in?

It's like over that. The whole thing got twisted just a little bit. Damn. Yeah, I think it's like a watered-down whiskey with some fruits and spices made to be more sippable. It's very funny to have the slow gin. Wait, what did you say slow gin was when you looked it up it's like the slow fruit is um because there's the juniper which is the what is that an herb that's responsible for the gin flavor generally but uh they they infuse it with slow man i don't know if i'm just

thirsty but this thing's firing down my throat i'm liking it but i it kind of just tastes like a soco and juice and maybe that's not a bad drink i don't know it's sweet yeah i uh i can't tell i i can see why this was a shot at one point it's like you don't this doesn't taste like anything bad it's better as a shot this is exactly the buttery nipple or whatever you said the buttered rum yeah this is like i kind of i have a really small one mine didn't fill up a whole yeah like yeah mine didn't fill up my uh highball either but i don't know funny drink i i i like it if you think of it as like a fern bar drink where you're prepared for it to be sweet it's not too juicy it just doesn't need like slojin is a perplexing ingredient in this cocktail.

I would say splash some SoCo in your screwdriver. Call it a Alabama slammer. Oh, here's what I want to say. Mike, this was a blunder you made in the famed segment one of this episode. Oh, fuck. I want to say a constant aggravator in my life is I don't know college because I don't watch college sports. I don't know college because I don't watch college sports. I don't know college names.

So, you know, when you said like Alabama University or University of Alabama, I like live my whole life like being like Florida State. No. And then someone's like, no, University of Florida. And I'm like, oh, the Gators. And they're like, not the Gators. And then, well, the big one is like the one you learn early on is university of florida and i'm like oh the gators and they're like not the gators the way and then well the big one is like the the one you learn early on is uh penn state versus upenn because

upenn is ivy league penn state is like football party predator yeah and and if you use those interchangeably the the the ivy leaguers will be like, I would never stoop so low. But then if you say it to the Penn State kids, they're like, I wouldn't go to no nerd school. I want to go a place that has a football at it. You know who went to UPenn's Wharton School of Business? Ivanka? Trump.

Her husband. Jared Kushner? Oh, wait, who's Ivanka? Her dad.? Trump. Her husband. Jared Kushner? Oh, wait, who's Ivanka? Her dad. Donald Trump. Oh, Wharton. Wait, who's... Oh, Ivanka. Yes, no, not Ivanka.

I'm getting the Trumps all mixed up. Not important. Is that where that story... Remember Donald Trump Jr. was at UPenn, I think, when his dad swung by to pick him up. And he was going to. Yeah. Donald was taking Don Jr. to a Yankee game.

So Don Jr. was like 18 years old wearing a Yankee jersey. And he was like drunk or something, right? Or no? No, I think he was just wearing a Yankees jersey. And his dad wanted him to wear a suit to a baseball game. But Don Sr. slapped Don Jr. in front of his friends. And he cried in front of his dorm mates. And Donald was like,

you ever go to a baseball game and not wear a suit, you're fired. Baseball game in a suit? What? What in the world? Well, my dad did that to me. He took you to a baseball game in a suit? What? What in the world? Well, my dad did that to me. He took you to a baseball game in a suit? Hey, Timmy, if you ever go to a pizza parlor and you're not wearing an apron, I'll slap you, dude.

Dude. Well, I didn't mean to get this off into a conversation about that guy. But the color of this drink does remind me of that guy. Stop. What? You know what's an interesting thing about one of these ingredients is I read that amaretto, which I always think of as almond flavored, it's oftentimes made with the pits from stone fruits.

It'll be like a peach pit. By the pit of a stone fruit. Yes. Interesting. Like crushed up? Huh. Cooked. How does that work?

Cooked and crushed. Cooked and crushed. You know, Slow Gin, going back to Slow Gin, there's an album by Loretta Lynn called Van Leer Rose that Jack White produced. I've heard of this. It's a good album. It's very good.

But there's a song that he sings on with her called Portland, Oregon. And the first line is like, In Portland, Oregon, it's about drinking slow gin fizzes. And that's what I always thought. What the hell is a slow gin fizz? Now, we're going to get this wrong, and everyone's going to hate us, but I think a fizz is like a carbonated eggy thing.

So in my brain, it's like you have a sour and then you add soda to it and now it's fizzy, but you know it's going to be wrong. Yeah. I think I just did a quick little Google. You're right, Tim, but the egg isn't the thing. So it's just a highball? The egg's not the thing. I'm seeing slow gin, ooh, regular

gin, half ounce of lemon juice and simple syrup. So it's kind of like a Collins. I got a feeling since we got this slow gin, we're going to be doing the slow gin fizz very soon on this podcast. I got a big fat bottle of stuff. I'm going to be drinking fizzes left and right. And DiSorono. Ooh, I got a small DiSorono.

DiSorono is so good, man. Yeah. I'm glad you brought that over, Tim. You brought me a bottle of that shit. It's good. A whole bottle? Yeah, yeah. Put it on some vanilla ice cream and watch the Sopranos.

You're going to have a good night. Ooh, that sounds good. You know the Southern Sipper, you drink it alone in the dark. The DeSorono and ice cream, you eat it while you watch the Sopranos. How about this? We just did the Southern Sipper. Now we got this Alabama Slammer. We just did the Sidewalk Slammer.

We can't get away from Southern drinks and Slammers. I really believe that. This is getting melty, and it's getting good. Yeah. What would you tweak about it? Because I thought it was a little too sweet. This is not my fave. here's this one option and you're not gonna like it like hawaiian punch to me the 1971 playboy bartender's guide all the same

ingredients i remember that one uh the articles were great let's see ingredient one two tits. Oh, what the hell? Listen to this ratio. One ounce of SoCo, one ounce of Amaretto. But then when we get to the slow gin and the OJ, half an ounce of each. Oh, still a lot of SoCo, but that's going to be not juicy at all with only half an ounce liquor forward okay i'm gonna do that one but it's gonna just taste like soco yeah yeah wait what am i trying when i say soco it's making me want to think of a funny song i like that's like yeah smoko huh you know that song that's like I'm on Smoko Oh yeah that Australian band You sent us that video

Smoko is like vacation or something I think in Australia When you take a smoking break It's called Smoko But then also I think that then Smoko Comes to just mean like a break So you don't actually have to smoke

Gotcha I'm on Smoko Actually now that I think that then Smoko comes to just mean like a break. So you don't actually have to smoke. Gotcha. I'm on Smoko. Actually, now that I think of it. Wait, isn't that song about a lifeguard who's on Smoko? So he doesn't save people who are drowning. And it's exactly the same as our. Oh, that's why.

That's why you. No. Yeah. That's why you brought it up to his life. Let's take a little Smoko. And when we come back, we'll talk about our final thoughts. Great. Let's take a little smoke. When we come back, we'll talk about our final thoughts.

Great. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. And we're back with round two, tweaks on the Alabama Slammer. That was cool, Jeff. Hey.

It was. You rock, dude. dude now what did you do different wait tim the one that you cut in half is slow gin and orange juice right okay great i did it well you cut no no oj has cut more oj it's only half an ounce of oj. And half an ounce of slow gin. This is sweet, man. This is not. I mean. Still sweet? Well, it's way sweeter because the two sweetest ingredients are now in the forefront. Oh, I'm thinking. Yeah, because I just assume.

Yeah. Orange juice. I mean, it's delicious in the sense that I can taste the DeSarono more, but I would rather just have a DeSaronno on the rocks. Playboy was serving this up? But that's why. Playboy makes sense. You're like walking around a lounge. You're having something that's way too sweet to drink.

And you're like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Hey, everybody. What do you think of all my pubes? That's not what that magazine was about. It was never supposed to be about that. Oof.

I just don't even know. I feel like I ruined an ounce of my beloved DeSorono in this thing. That was 1971, was that? This thing should have stayed in 71. It did, but you made it. You brought it back. What have you wrought? Oh, yeah.

Alright, final thoughts. Hit me with them. Final thoughts is this is an order again, but for me in shot form. Smart. Timothy. Thank you. Order again.

When it gets a little melty, you get a little happy. I feel like the slammer, the sugar is going to give you a hangover. But then again, the hangover movies were very funny. Don't do the Playboy recipe. Follow the,

either the liquor.com one or find one that puts vodka in it that'll make it less sweet. And really what you should be doing is putting De Sirono over your vanilla ice cream and watching the Sopranos. Yes, yes. You know, I'll be the outlier here and I'll say this is not an order again. I don't want another one of these. If they're saying, hey, we're doing Alabama Slammers, I'd say polite pass. Wow. You say, you are, but I ain't?

Yep. I'll watch. Well, Jeff, you're a lime freak, and there's no lime in this drink. No. No lime for miles. I mean, we still had a good time in the episode, and it was still good podcasting, right? Yeah. Drinks don't all have to be good. It's about

your friends and your relationships. Right. Exactly. Because at your funeral, they're not counting up the number of order agains or the number of appointment onlys. They're counting up your number of friends. And your Emmy

nominations and how many times you brought coffee for the whole cast and crew. Man, I don't know if it's the Zoom screen, but I am getting that Bill Murray hairline. No, you're not. Me too. It's creeping. It's creeping. I noticed that on me too, Jeff, where the driveways up the side are starting to kind of wrap around and meet in the middle.

I got a little hair island in the way. All the way up. I've got Ally Afraidy hair. Now, if you had that Ally Afraidy slap shot. Tim, the people online have spoken. We love the stubble. We love zaddy Tim. Yeah, now wait a minute.

Bad news. I wasn't going to bring this up until, yes. Bad news. By the airing of this podcast, it'll be shaved off. Why? On what grounds? Here's my thing. Folks, we're banging this episode right in the very moments before we leave on tour.

Yeah. I got to look like classic Tim. I got to look like iconography. I got to look like Sloppy Boys, iconography, Americana, Tim Kalbakis. You know him. You'll love him. I can't be the new Scruffy Tim. If Mickey Mouse shows up on stage with a beard?

Exactly. Get this mouse out of here. He's a rat. Get him out of here. I don't think that people want to see the new Zaddy Tim. I think that people want... Now, yeah, wait a minute. What's going on here?

And what's with... First of all, what's with the facial hair? What are you doing? Here's what it was. You trying something? Well, I was sort of lamenting that I never got to grow a beard. And now if I grow a beard, it would be great. Kind of sad.

I never grew a brown beard. You could diet. Yeah, I could go on a diet. That's for sure. But here's what I've been doing. Yeah. There was one day where I just hadn't shaved in a week. And instead of taking out the razor and taking it all the way down to the skin, I said, oh, I know.

I'm going to take out the hair clippers, put it on a one and just bring it down. And then I've been doing that for about a month. So this hair you're looking at on my face, it's not long. But it's had a chance to fill in some of the deader spots and it's soft as opposed to you're sort of saying to each follicle everyone get in here exactly everyone you can come in at your own speed but um i felt like my whole life anytime i had some stubble going it was like fresh stubble that was like little knives. But if you use the trimmer, it has a chance to kind of grow in

and turn into normal hair. It's less wiry, more furry. You look like a real artist. That is what I'm trying to cultivate. I'm just kind of bummed out by the amount of gray. I look like one of these L.A. guys. You know these L.A. guys? I know what you mean.

I think what you need to do. L.A. guy. I know an L.A. guy. You need to don't shave the mustache. Shave everything else. Have the mustache for a while. I'm telling you, Tim, people will love it. Should I have a mustache for the tour?

Yeah. Yeah, at least for the first half until you go back to LA and then do whatever you want. Okay, well, I'll do that. And to the people listening to the pod. Hold on. This is me thinking you can only shave in your own home.

You can shave on the road. No, I'm going to shave my face, but not my lip. And to those listening at home, you've probably been watching our Instagram and seeing all these tour videos of me with my cool new mustache and now you're hearing like the dawn of the whole thing yeah yeah wow that's gotta be exciting for you yeah listener so origin story

like the rookie card here don't you guys get so jealous of the listener that like we have to say all this shit but they get to listen to it they're on the subway they're in their car they're going for a walk they're hearing this yeah we're doing the hard labor of saying yeah what a treat it is to listen to they're kicking back and consuming i hate to say i love to hear you know it's even more of a treat than this is the is the blowout we do every week that is a fun show this show is not so good i know if i were joe q public i would be subscribing to that because it's funny yeah here's the thing this main show with the cocktails it's kind of sellouty bullshit but when you get behind the paywall wouldn't you agree we're more like um we're kind of more like uh like uh adam friedland we're like come town kind of more like like Adam Friedland. We're like Comptown

kind of choppo red scare guys. I don't exactly know what those guys do. I know they're popular, but... They're like us. They're us. We let the hair down and we let it rip. I'm Stavros. Yeah.

And I'm Dasher. I'm always as always Michael Hanford I remain Michael Hanford Jeff take us out baby that's our show follow us on social media at the sloppy boys

if you want to see these recipes ahead of time and like we said go to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys for that bonus show the sloppy boys blowout where we don't care about cocktails so much. It's more about getting along with your friends and talking about to the moment

culture. Like we just did song of the summer. What's the summer jam 2022? You can only find out behind the paywall at patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. And we're less guarded. We're more ourselves.

It's kind of no holds barred. Yeah, here we're serving the ad men. We're serving the mad men. No, no, no. Here we're serving the corporate overlords. Yeah. And it has to be just so. Very regulated.

But on the Patreon My word We just This is Yes I'm Here I'm talking to The character Tim The character Jeff There I'm talking to Tim and Jeff

I'm talking to my friends Plus it's also uncensored So it's Hey F this F that F everything Hey get the fuck over I mean get the F over here

Hey F that fucking thing. F that fucker over there. F you, you cocksucker. I was in the bathroom. I had C coming out of my A. I had P coming out of my C. Wait, I used C as crap. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You had P coming out of your crap? No, I had piss coming crap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you pee coming out of your crap? Oh, man. No, I had piss coming out of my cock. Yahoo! All right, folks. We'll see you next week. We'll be live and in person. How about that?

Bzz, bzz. Oh, yes. Wait, are you talking about the 100th episode celebration? Yes. Who knows what the drink will be? Probably a good one, huh? What are we thinking? Yeah, you would think that for the 100th, we've saved something really good. I'm thinking it's Alabama Slammerts 2.

Oh, we should do that. I did think it would be funny if we did water for number 100, but we're not going to do it. We're going to do a real drink. We want to pump the numbers, Jeff. That's not funny. Pump the numbers. Also, to our listeners. That's trolling, and it's not right.

Let's say you listen to the show and you love it. Tell people, buddy. You posted. Help us get rich off this shit. Come on. Hey, tell a friend. You don't have a friend? Make one.

Tell them about this show. Yeah, tell your friend. Buy you a bottle of slow gin. Okay, come on. All right, folks. Good chatting. See you next week. Peace.

Toodle-oo. What is up Cal P.K. here with a little post script just want to say that John Daly emailed me back and he said

I've never had one either it seems like a pretty dumb drink so there you have it he never had an Alabama Slum.