The Sloppy Boys - [UNLOCKED] Eggs
Episode Date: July 10, 2024Enjoy this [UNLOCKED] episode of The Sloppy Boys Blowout, our weekly bonus episode available to Patreon subscribers.The guys talk eggs and compare their favorite styles of preparation.Visit patreon.co...m/thesloppyboys for more! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hey folks, summer is in full swing and we're celebrating by unlocking some of our favorite
paywalled episodes every week for the entire month of July.
It's the Sloppy Summer Sales Event.
Five weeks of the Sloppy Boys Blowout, the superior show, delivered straight to your
device for free, like that U2 album that time.
For more, go to patreon.com slash thesloppyboys.
And now, this week's Unlocked episode.
From February 23rd, 2022, it's the Sloppy Voice Bloud.
This is me, the Big Hand Bopper.
I'm sitting here with one of the premier bands that come out of the rock and roll scene here in L.A.
In the past, what, four years?
We got Jeff Dutton and his bandmate, Tim Kalpakis.
What is up?
Hey, what's up?
Sorry, Jeff, I didn't give you a chance to talk,
but I'm just so moving here.
I am zipped up and zapped out.
I am so excited to see you.
We know how it is.
You love it.
We know how you are,
and if you're going to ask us what it's like to be a band,
we just want to say it's great. We have that rock and roll lifestyle on the road. It ask us what it's like to be a band, we just
want to say it's great.
We have that rock and roll lifestyle on the road.
It's great.
It's great.
I love that.
It's great.
Apparently, kid, where is he now, by the way?
I watched a video of him recently.
He is still doing a lot of videos, talking to his fans, and he's aged, and he doesn't
... It's weird watching him.
Oh, he's aged.
Yeah. He's just...
He went from cute boy to teen.
To what?
Teen.
Oh, the cute boy to teen pipeline.
Yep.
Well, anyway...
Wait, what happened?
Let's talk eggs.
Bopper, is everything okay?
No, not everything's okay.
I got to host a show about eggs right now.
That's not exactly what I want to be doing with my life.
This is not where you want your career to be at this moment.
I used to spin records for Guns N' Roses, Poison, the hot strip band.
No, it makes sense if you say it like that.
Now I'm talking to the sloppy boys about eggs.
And they don't have anything to say.
And they told me before the record,
they're grossed out about it too.
Well, if I remember correctly,
one of us pitched the egg episode.
Yeah, I know.
That was you.
That wasn't me.
No?
Yes, it was.
No, it was the big Hand Bopper himself.
It was not the Big Hand Bopper.
The Big Hand Bopper said, let's do egg bake.
You said, let's do eggs.
Guys, let's be honest.
This is the problem with shit.
This is not a desirable situation for anyone.
The us, the listener, the folks over at Patreon who are pushing the ones and zeros on this.
The folks at ACAS are going to kill us.
No one wants to have to deal with this so that we'll power through it.
But it's the hand we're dealt in life.
You can't control.
I got an email today, two emails, one from Manscaped, one from BetterHelp.com saying,
we hear you're doing an egg episode.
We're going to pull faster than, they made it as a reference, I didn't understand.
A few expletives here.
We're going to pull our heads from you so quick.
Wow.
That sucks.
And I said, no, this is what we planned on doing.
Right.
And we're not in the pocket of manscaped and better health.
Right.
And I said, first of all, you two have nothing to do with the blowout.
You are main pod bullshit.
Corporate bullshit.
I'm sure our sponsors would love to hear that.
Our sponsors don't subscribe to the thing. Who's going to tell on us?
Kanger?
Does Kanger?
Kanger don't say it.
Laura Vinegar?
What if Kanger marches into the head offices of BetterHelp and blows our cover?
He's a whistleblower.
You know what they're saying about you over there and the blowout?
We didn't say anything bad we left those
guys oh my god oh my god well hey before we started rolling i was gonna i was gonna um
spout off about gail yes gail yeah a b c d e f u forget you thank you forget you So there are so many goddamn versions of that on Spotify
It confirmed my suspicions
What were your suspicions?
That she wrote
A B C D E F U
Knowing it was going to be a radio edit
The real version of the song
Is A B C D E
Fuck you
What?
And she was planning on the radio edit
being ABCDE F You,
and then lawyers or someone stepped in and said,
no, no, no, you can't even say F You.
And she did Forget You.
Well, that's embarrassing.
She wrote a version that was not right.
Like, ABCDE Fuck You
is not going along with her alphabet thing. Yeah, the alphabet, B, C, D, E, fuck you is not going along with their alphabet thing.
Yeah, as far as I know, the alphabet doesn't have fuck in it, does it?
But here's the thing.
She knew that the radio edit was going to be tip of the spear.
Oh, she was playing the radio edit.
She's planning on the radio edit.
That's funny.
But she also has a fuck you version,
and then since the radio edit is apparently still too racy,
she's got forget you.
Right.
Huh?
So the,
the,
the one that I heard,
I had heard the song on Spotify with the F and then I heard it on the
kiss FM,
probably kiss FM with,
I've been in,
I've been in the T bird.
I know it's kiss FM.
I,
I have never heard the,
the fuck version. You had, you had to go looking for it. Tim. I didn i have never heard the the fuck version you had you had to
go looking for it tim i didn't have to dig very deep is it oh it must be the album version oh
that's really uh boy that's that's really telling where the music business is now you're writing
songs for the what you actually want because more people will hear i mean that is so 2022
everything's about radio radio
broadcast radio right right how can i get where on the where am i on the dial how can i get an
interview with the big hand bopper right oh it's very simple we're aware of the uh here's your
burger sandwich eventuality and we're playing to it right right right uh what's the other one
leave a farmer in the dark or something like that?
Find a stranger in the Alps.
Yeah, this is...
You don't leave a...
Fuck a stranger in the Alps.
Fuck a stranger in the Alps.
Yeah.
Very funny.
Jesus!
Boy, who's he talking to, that little kid?
Larry.
Larry, I think his...
La!
I think his name was Larry.
La!
That's Susie Espin?
La.
It's so funny to call Larry La.
Well, she's shortening Larry to Lair, but she has an accent, so it's La.
Oh, really?
I think.
Yeah, yeah.
She's got like a Brooklyn accent or something.
I just think, I choose to believe that she knows she's saying L-A.
She knows she do.
That's a funny thing to, I have never met anyone in L.A. who has a New York accent.
So it's funny to have a character that's so combative and headstrong that you won't even change her like accent
headstrong she's headstrong yeah she's headstrong that's for sure a guy that worked at my uh dad's
restaurant i remember one time the the song headstrong by trapped was playing and he was like
this song really gets me going headstrong i'll take you on back off i'll take on anyone oh yeah that does and this is not where
you belong from los gatos california oof oh well they can they they once held the crown of pop
royalty now it's gail's turn yep fuck gail and her mom and her sister and her dog.
Gale was the name of a character in Breaking Bad.
Who was that?
It was like the lap assistant?
No, Walter White.
Yeah, yeah.
Gale?
Didn't he get his brains blown out?
Oh, yeah.
G-A-L-E.
This is G-A-Y-L-E.
Yeah.
G-A-Y-L-E. This is G-A-Y-L-E. Yeah. G-A-Y-L-E.
G-A-Y-L-E, that is my name.
That should have been the song.
Sorry, Gale, you fucked up.
You fucked us, buddy.
Well, today, I'll handle it from here, Jeff.
Today, we are talking about eggs.
Oh, no.
Boil them, fry them, stick them in a stick.
This is a ratings disaster.
Egg.
Eggs.
Hey, when we post this episode, let's say, bad news, everybody.
Today on the blowout, we're talking eggs.
I think MCA put it best when he said, the egg, a symbol of life.
I go inside your house and bust out your wife.
Whoa.
Am I wrong in thinking I heard somebody say
that an egg is like a one-celled organism?
Yeah, I'm reading up on that.
The yolk is the nucleus?
God, we didn't even do...
I looked up that Eggman.
It's the song Eggman by the Beastie Boys.
I looked up that lyric, you know,
two seconds before we started this.
We didn't do any research.
Well, it's the egg episode.
You're not going to put a lot of work into eggs.
You know what eggs are.
Everyone knows what an egg is.
We're sad.
The listener's sad.
Eggs are...
They stink.
You know,
remember when Natalie Palamedes
was doing her...
I'm forgetting, blanking on it.
Her one-woman show called...
Mother Goose?
Huh?
It's like the goose one?
Mother Goose or something?
God damn it, what was it called?
It's not Nate, I'll tell you that.
No, it wasn't Nate,
but it was somebody with
eggs. Douglas?
No. Either way,
very funny show
and very impressive show.
I remember we did something after
her and the stage just had a ton
of eggs all over it.
The smell of eggs to me is a
tough one to get behind.
Especially so many. Get behind?
It was tough walking into that room.
It's not great.
It's not great.
It's really gross to think about what eggs are.
They're chicken periods.
When I saw the show, it was funny.
And once the show was over, I wasn't doing a show afterwards. So I saw it. It was funny and once the show was over like i i wasn't doing a show afterwards so
i saw it it was funny and then i left and was like okay i didn't smell a bunch of eggs but
doing a show after it when she's like throwing all the eggs away and all the eggs around in the
backstage it was yeah i would say an egg maybe is one of those things that smells more over time
like if you crack a fresh egg i I probably couldn't report the smell.
A raw one?
No.
But five minutes go by.
Ooh,
I can tell you that.
I don't think I'd like a raw smelling egg either.
What?
Take a big whiff.
I don't try to.
Take a big whiff.
You might love it.
Let me ask you this.
How often you have an egg?
Hmm.
How often do I?
Well, without tipping, the premise of this episode is we're each gonna present on egg how do you how do you egg how do you show right we're each gonna show how
we egg and and for me i'm without tipping that i'll just say that i'm not really an egg guy. Of course I eat them.
Of course I like them because I am on record saying I eat all food.
I love all food.
Even a grasshopper with kidney.
Absolutely.
But in my life, would I walk into my kitchen and fry an egg and call that a normal day?
No.
Are there eggs coming in and out of my kitchen?
That is an
aberration is am i boiling up a hard-boiled egg no the only eggs that make their way into my home
every once in a while i'll buy a bag of cadbury hard-boiled hard-boiled already cracked and
shelled ziploc bag full of eggs from albertsons weirdest weirdest possible execution
keep going i agree and i won't eat it straight i'll use that like i'll chop that up on top of
a cob salad or something because i've told you about my accoutrement for my salads my god but
so to answer your question and to not tip my bit yes i am uh i mean no i. I'm not an egg guy.
I know what your egg is.
I know it.
I just know it.
Fuck.
Fuck everything.
Laid.
Natalie's show was called Laid.
That's what it was called.
No, you're thinking of the James song Laid.
No, I'm thinking of Natalie's show,
and I think she's doing it for,
am I wrong in thinking she's doing it for Netflix?
Folks, check it out if that is happening.
If that's true.
If that is true.
Check it out because it's funny.
Well, she already did.
Or no, that was Nate.
That was Nate.
It was great.
Nate was great.
Okay.
Sorry for the detour.
Let's back to the eggs.
Back to the eggs, folks.
Oh, God.
Eggs for me, I will do a thing where I'll be like, oh, I got to get some eggs.
I'll get a carton of eggs.
And then I'm eating eggs every day, every morning.
I love it.
And then I kind of forget about it and I get some more eggs.
Right now, I got eggs.
How often?
How many times a week you make an eggs?
Depends how many times I have a carton of eggs.
Okay. But uh you know
i'll do them i usually do a friday i like to do something where you know me i like to mix all my
stuff together i'll do uh you know hash browns or something frying up or you don't have to do
recently rice i'll put fried rice in a pan yeah Then I just crack eggs into it, mix that up.
This is good, Michael.
My sister does a lot.
She's a food stylist person, and she does a lot of save your Chinese food rice,
leftover white rice, and sizzle that up with some eggs.
Yeah, that's good idea.
You know what I used to do when Mexico City was open, the restaurant?
I would get the chicken fajitas.
You know, I used to do when Mexico City was open, the restaurant? I would get the chicken fajitas. You know, they come out.
People turning heads.
Don't touch that, you fucking idiot.
Burn your arm off.
You're going to burn your fucking hand off.
Meanwhile, I'm like probably fucking two margs deep.
Two skinny margs with a Grand Marnier float.
Yep.
Just tried to ask out Kristen Stewart.
Okay.
Yeah.
Chickened out.
Her attention was more on her girlfriend than on Jeff.
I'm having queso fundido, that molten cheese.
I'm having chips and dip and I'm filling up on them.
Ah, get them out of here.
And then as soon as I'm like, oh, I don't know if I'm ready to eat my fajitas around
the corner and they hit the table and I eat all that chicken first night, no problem.
I got all these leftover peppers and onions.
This is good.
Oh, they're all roasted up.
And they say, hey, Dutz, do you want a to-go styrofoam?
We know you live right over there.
I say, yeah, give me one of those.
They're like, Mr. Dutz?
You're like, just Dutz.
Just Dutz.
And then come morning.
What the hell was that?
You know what I mean?
What the hell was that? You know, I'm in the kitchen.
That was an underwater rooster.
With a little bubble in his throat.
You know, I'm in there in the morning.
Sounds like the Fiatas.
Yeah.
Jesus.
Sort of a callback to the original noise.
I'm in there roasting up the peppers and onions, cracking a fresh egg in there.
Not roasting, frying in a pan.
Frying it up, reheating, reheating.
Not roasting.
This is smart.
You guys both, those are smart.
Because one of the things that keeps me from making eggs is if I make an egg,
it's a normal amount of eggs to eat.
Two, when I fry them up.
Two's perfect.
I look at the plate and I plate i'm like little nuts but then
sometimes i'll take two eggs in the shells put them in my underwear and be like
oh boy it is definitely sazerac week
um no what i was gonna say is eggs are deceptive because it's all protein right so it's
not a lot of food one of the things that dissuades me is like i'm not gonna bust out a pan and spray
it and do all this just for a couple of eggs and then i put it on the plate and i'm like that's not
a lot of food and then you eat it and and you do get full you know like like it's it's because
it's protein it looks small but it packs a punch it's like a pudding putting a
nice a hearty brick of coal in your engine you know like you can run off that i mean i tried
to make myself i was like i'm gonna have a big omelet i'm gonna have a four egg omelet it's too
big couldn't couldn't finish it that's too big see and also mike i like what you're saying about
how you like to mix it up the egg is not only the cornerstone of breakfast.
It kind of goes in any direction.
Kind of like whatever else you're having for breakfast,
you could incorporate the egg even more deeply than you think.
Yeah, you got to be a little creative.
I think a lot of people, I hope, will listen to this episode and be like,
shit, yeah, I don't need to just do one scrambled egg.
So I got my fucking text messages coming on my computer now.
I don't know how that happened, but I get dings and bangs.
Was Jeff texting you?
This episode sucks.
No, it was Mookie was texting me of my tennis.
Gary goes again.
Now Joe Saunders is involved.
Our tennis group is texting for some reason.
Oh, boy.
I don't know how to turn that off.
I do not know how to turn that off.
You can put do not disturb on your thing.
But where?
On the computer?
I don't know.
Probably the top right.
There's the moon.
The moon.
What the heck?
Back to the eggs, folks.
Guys, I'm going to say I'm probably, I eat eggs almost every day.
I know you do. You do two eggs a day, you told us.'m probably i eat eggs almost every day i know you do you do uh
two eggs a day you told us i do pretty much two eggs a day same same thing you do hard boiled or
what do you do well i'm gonna get a soft one i don't want to spoil it but uh during the pandemic
we all went to the grocery store shelves bare you know it was sort of like, okay, here's your government eggs, everyone.
And I got the 18 pack.
So you get the two rows of six, your normal 12.
Were you rationing eggs?
No, they were just saying there were only so many, I guess.
It was the same thing how you could only get two toilet papers.
Yes.
Yeah, but what if I got a shit?
You're not allowed.
You got to cork it, bud.
I'll tell you what.
That's something I've incorporated into my routine.
I mean, we're still in the pandemic,
but when all the grocery stores still got figured out,
I said, you know what?
I think I'm an 18-egg kind of guy.
Yeah, wow.
Yeah.
That's good.
Big boy.
Have you guys ever used the scrambled egg,
like egg white in a carton stuff?
Yeah.
That would be the way to do it if you're having trouble with the shells and all that.
That's just like pour it in.
Egg beaters, yeah.
Yeah, there's the whites and then there's the beaters.
Beaters are yellow and yolky, but they're both good.
I don't like having a shelly egg in my fridge.
Hey, when I worked at my parents' parents candy factory they used to do um waffle breakfast
on sundays and like the the the topping bar for the ice cream turned into like a topping bar for
the waffles because it's all the same shit it's like uh whipped cream and chocolate sauce and
syrup and all that shit and uh you know m& you know, strawberries. I could go on.
Where was I going with this?
The eggs.
You'd make the eggs.
Tim, do you ever see this?
It's a bunch of eggs in a bag, and they're already scrambled.
They're raw, scrambled eggs in a bag, and you boil it.
Boil a bag? You boil it in a bag for, like, 15.
You boil a bag. I like that that you have a massive vat and like this is normal for like so many places i've never seen this you time it and you
pick it up and check it and you know as it starts to like you know roll around in the bag it just
turns into perfect scrambled eggs and you cut it open you dump it into the up and into the you know
the serving stainless steel trays,
and then that's how you get your eggs at diners and all that stuff.
The Schaefer's?
The Schaefer's.
Damn.
You know what's nice is that you ever go to a nice brunchy place and you get a –
actually, I probably have this more in people's homes.
But you ever have a soft scramble where it's real soft and cheesy and creamy?
That's not what I like.
Like a fluffy egg, you mean? Yeah, but it's like real soft and cheesy and creamy that's like like uh like a fluffy egg you
mean yeah but it's like cheesy too and it's like it's eggs and they're fully cooked but it's almost
they're like oozy it's crunchy easy yeah hey that kind of made me want to go to taco bell
yeah yum yum well when you guys do a scramble's... Do we save it or do we just talk about how to do a good scramble?
Well, is scramble your egg choice?
Well, no spoilers, but no.
Okay.
Talk about...
Well, it's no spoilers, but it's not mine either.
It's not mine.
No way is it mine.
All right, well, here's what you do.
Scramble the egg.
You get your eggs in a bowl and you put a little milk in there to fluff them up.
Salt, pepper, milk.
Salt, pepper, milk, and you beat the shit out of it.
And then you do really slow and low.
Yes.
And you rotate, and you rotate, and you rotate, and that's how you get a nice pillowy, puffy cloud scrambled egg.
The low heat is the big change.
With like a whisk and not just a fork?
Yeah, you can do a fork, but you got to work that muscle.
This one.
I remember.
The same one you use for jerking off.
Up at the old house, Jeff,
I remember after you made eggs at our Fredonia house,
the pan would have like a jacket of yellow
all across the pan.
No.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No.
This is one of the things
that keeps me from wanting to cook eggs.
I'm like, I don't want to do that Dutton thing.
I don't like all that flaky shit where it's just like,
well, when you make eggs, there's like all this fucking gross shit.
Yeah, I hate that.
That's what you did.
Ideally, if you got a good pan, you take care of it,
and you put some butter in there with some oil or whatever,
that thing should just be rolling around clean inside the clean pan.
Oh, that's nice.
That sounds good.
That's what you aim for.
Do you guys ever use
an iron skillet?
Cast iron?
Have you ever used one of those? I've never done cast iron.
I use it only for
making a ribeye steak when I really
want to blacken the shit out of it. And you can't
wash it, right? I don't have one, but
you have to put salt on it. You wipe it down and you oil it up and you're seasoning it it's a whole thing that
i don't know much about like if you had if you had just bought a brand new cast iron
pan and then like you know a year later you cooked a steak on it it would be like a totally
different taste on the steak right because you've had so much i mean if you do it properly i don't
really know what i'm doing but some people swear by like,
this is my seasoned pan and it's so delicious.
Oh, and don't touch me and don't talk to me.
Don't talk to me, don't touch me.
Don't have me on the pod.
Don't take my seasoned pan
and bash me over the fucking face.
Really?
Well, it's going to be hard not to,
you fucking asshole.
That's one of the classic angry wife weapons, huh? pan or the rolling pin that's the rolling pin more so yeah
yeah angry spouse could be a could be a man oh absolutely these days yeah yeah yeah sure
so who wants to who wants to go first i'll uh call it uh who wants to go first? I'll go first.
Go ahead.
Well...
Go ahead, Mr. Hotshot.
That's the other thing, too.
I feel like we're not competing here.
We're just talking about our eggs.
Oh, yeah.
This is more akin to when we all ran a mile, I guess.
Yeah, it's just kind of a peak.
Oh, we all took a bath.
Yeah, this is more bath-like.
Classic episode. Bangers. We asked each other, how do you egg? yeah it's just we all took a bath yeah this is more bath like classic episodes like bangers we
asked each other how do you egg and then we said go egg and then present to us how you egg
and i have a tape and i'll set it up by with this i said i said tim how do you egg because you just
like you just said here on the blowout you don don't make a lot of eggs. You do enjoy cooking food, but rarely a breakfast.
I'm writing down what I think yours is, by the way.
When's the best time pod-wise for you to share it?
Because you could share it now if you want, but do you want to do it after?
Yes, Michael Hanford.
I wrote down Starbucks.
Don't say it.
It's already been said, Jeffy.
This guy introduces me to the Starbucks egg.
Go ahead.
The sous vide egg.
Mike, when you stayed with me, I got you some of these.
They're pretty good, right?
They're so good.
They're like change your morning good.
They're very good.
Change your morning good.
So I realized I was like, where am i in taking the most eggs and it's definitely
from this so today i went on my morning stroll and part here's uh why it's already spit it out
tim we're here for you we're not gonna judge you your morning routine it's nice to have a nice
morning would you agree it's nice to have a nice morning oh up early kind of just getting a charging at the day i love it so for me
i like to take a morning stroll i pass by some of the hip spots in my hip neighborhood where
there's hip people doing hip things but i pass them right by and i go to my starbucks and and i
because i'm not super specifically crazy about starbucks coffee do it
but i do like it and i'm i always drink iced coffee and starbucks has iced coffee so but it's
really the eggs the sous vide egg bites that's what has you coming in the door like toucan sam
following his nose exactly and it's not just that once you start going there for the egg bites you
realize this is a nice place they're they're they're very friendly it's not just that once you start going there for the egg whites, you realize this is a nice place. They're very friendly. It's part of my routine. I always see people I know. The staff knows me. It's an enjoyable morning.
It's a nice place too, that Starbucks Reserve.
and for me in my day what am i doing i'm i'm a tv writer who's working on zoom it's nice to go outside and have some interactions before i gotta get my teeth my peepers back on my computer screen
all week so here's a little tape from this morning oh wait wait wait pause
we know it's tim's tape oh you know it's my tape I just wanted to add
so the sound is terrible when I get in there
because the most
Starbucks-y song ever was Blasting
and it was
John Legend
all of me was
all of you
anyway hit the tape
what is up
this is Cal P.Kique I'm in beautiful sunny Los
Feliz California on a morning stroll and I'm gonna have to pop into a certain
little place How's it going? How are you? Great. Oh yeah, I know. This is from Cafe Crest.
They have all kinds of Thank you so much. And then I'll do an order of the seaweed egg bites, the bacon gruyere. Yeah. Ooh, yeah. Remind me of your name again.
Tim.
Remind me of your name again.
All right.
What are you having today?
Back to work.
I went to Palm Springs this weekend, which is fun and relaxing and now back to work.
Would you like a whiskey?
Yes, please.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. back to work I went to Palm Springs this weekend which was fun and relaxing
and now back to work
yes please
yes please
this is for my podcast
alright I'm
walking back from
Starbucks
I got my sous vide egg bite
one with the
bacon gruyere this morning.
Let's have a little bite as I stroll.
AKA every morning.
Sometimes you do kale mushroom.
Oh, no.
It's like a fancy French frittata.
The gruyere is just simply divine and um that's how i egg back to you
so i forgot to mention i was wearing a los filas sweatshirt and i was in los filas and i get a lot
of looks and a lot of chatter when i wear this thing so that's what happened i i think at starbucks they
tell them to like they greet you warmly they ask you your order and then while they're entering it
they they there's like a one personal interaction and if you're wearing if you're wearing a notable
thing they call it out if you're not they they tim you you were peacocking i was i was peacocking
for sure but they kind of do, because when I walk in there,
I know the bucket hat guy and I know the beret lady,
and this was the beret lady.
Oh, they have to wear hats.
Yeah.
Do they have to?
Yeah, they all wear weird hats.
Well, this is the reserve.
Yeah, that's the rule of the reserve is you wear a weird hat.
And they wear, like, yeah, a more interesting hat.
And I don't think, when I've been to a regular Starbucks,
I haven't had a like personal interaction moment.
But I think the reserve is like.
Oh, I should try.
I should go there.
Because I always go to the reserve.
And the staff, it's funny.
It was funny that she forgot my name because,
and I was recording being like,
I wonder if she'll remember my name. Because they normally they normally do and you know bucket hat guy knows it jesus christ i'm like his best friend but that was funny we had like two there where she goes
i like your sweatshirt where's it from and i was like oh cafe press and then while she's bringing
up she's like so what are you up to today? And I said, I'm going back to work.
Usually it's like one or the other where I feel like if I'm not wearing something to comment on, they ask me what I'm up to.
And then if I am wearing something they can comment on, that counts.
So this kind of challenged my understanding of the whole vibe when she did both.
I wonder if on her end, the computer is running slow and the people at the control station
in the back, she's on the earpiece and they're like, go, go ask one more, one more.
She's like, I already did the sweatshirt thing.
We know he just went to Palm Springs.
Ask him what he got up to.
It's like the punk tobacco room.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I thought I saw Jeff Tremaine kind of laughing his ass off back there.
So they have three kinds.
They have the bacon Gruyere.
They have the kale Portobello.
They have the egg white with roasted red pepper.
Today I went bacon Gruyere.
Delicious.
Of course.
Bacon Gruyere is the best one they got.
Those other ones sound joyless.
I'll tell you this.
Kale Portobello is not joyless.
It's kind of spicy and nicey.
And even the egg white one, I've had
that one. It's not bad. It's like
definitely a step down, but
it's their healthy option.
It's very healthy. Like the calories on all
of these are pretty low, and then that one is like
zero. And it comes in
like two little, they look like
low cupcakes. Like little
burger buddies. You guys remember Burger Buddies?
Yeah. Oh, it's like back
when i think i think burger king did sliders back in like the 90s and they called them burger buddies
there's just two little burgers um but oh yeah yeah while we're on starbucks i'm gonna say
that my fucking move over there all the time is sausage egg and cheddar it's like yeah just the
ready-to-go mcdonald's basically it's good i love breakfast sandwich and it is oh savory and hot and delicious
hot as hell they really heat those things up uh now do you ever do uh coffee bean and tea leaf
yes cbtl because i was going there that was my preferred until about a year until i got hooked
on the sous vides i loved going to coffee bean and they knew my name and and they always remember
my name but i didn't like any of their food products.
I would get a tuna sandwich on a wheat flatbread thing.
Yeah, they got kind of weird.
Everything they have has one weird element to it.
Yep.
The egg sandwiches are on kind of a weird thing.
I also kind of noticed I love Coffee Bean
because they have the pellet ice,
and you shake your cup, and that's fun. But I kind of felt like love coffee bean because they have the pellet ice you know and you shake
your cup and that's fun but i kind of felt like maybe their iced coffee at least is like
not as much caffeine as i want because i would suck down a huge one and i never really felt awake
you know what i used to get at coffee bean was um like their ice blended yeah they call it ice
blended and then they were like do you want to extreme it?
And I said, yeah.
Hell yeah.
It was probably like an ad shot or something like that.
And it was like, you get more mocha flavor and more caffeine.
And I said, great, extreme it.
And then they were like,
do you want chopped up chocolate covered espresso beans
like blended in there too?
And I said, yeah, do that too.
Damn.
And then I said, but hold the whipped cream
because I don't want a girly drink.
I do want to be awake until April.
Yeah.
I do want a dessert that I can drink in my car,
but don't put whipped cream on it.
Yeah, no one's going to see me do this.
And those things were the bomb and i uh i went back and they stopped extreming it so i was like so i had to be at
one point i went in and i was just like can i get that uh extreme and they were like what are
you talking about you don't extreme it anymore? They used to.
I'm kind of like a Bam Margera kind of guy.
Could you extreme it for me?
Well, Tim, that's a good egg.
That's a fantastic egg. I'm a good egg.
You're a good egg.
You're a good egg.
Now, let's see if your band partner, your bandmate, is also a good egg.
Jeff, how are you serving up the huevos?
All right.
We already talked about how I do a hard-boiled egg.
Beautiful.
But soft.
I don't know if you could call it a soft-boiled egg.
You can't say I do a hard-boiled egg, but soft.
But it's a soft-boiled egg.
Well, it's still called a hard-bo hard boiled egg even if it's a little jammy
you want it to be jammy wait no wait wait isn't that like isn't there isn't that medium like i
guess like look look tim i'm with you medium boiled the nomenclature is weird but people
still call it a hard boiled egg regardless of how well the yolk is done i think in my experience
and so i have one of those little plastic red eggs
that you throw in with the eggs.
Oh, yeah.
And it gets dark from the outside edges inward,
and it tells you how done it is.
Yeah.
I've never seen this.
That's a thick plastic.
That is a thick plastic.
Heat resistant.
It's pretty good.
But that's how you get the jammy eggs.
You figure that out.
But that's not what I wanted to do for this pod.
I wanted to fancy it up. i made myself egg in a hole okay that's what i call it there's a lot of a lot of
regional toad in a hole i've heard toad in a hole toad in a hole um so i made that this morning it
was fucking delicious i'm gonna walk you through it but first i know we all agreed to make an audio
recording of the process hell yeah i forgot
it's you
you made that tape the level level on your voice, too, is low.
I forgot.
It sounds like you're far away from the mic as well.
You forgot to record yourself making your toad in a hole?
Yeah, which is like the fun of the whole fucking thing.
Oh, wait, no.
Toad in a hole is the Tam and Shanter steak dish, isn't it?
Toad in a hole?
Hold on.
I think it's eggs in a hole.
Egg in a hole? Egg in a hole. No, I'm seeing toad in a hole. Oh, think it's eggs in a hole egg in a hole egg in a hole no i'm seeing toad in a hole oh shit no tim you're right i'm seeing a weird sausage one too but i'm also seeing
pictures of what i call egg in a hole here's what you do that's here's what i do i'm gonna take you
through it ready i'm gonna i might even put some nice sound under this. Nice. Nice. For the listener.
Oh.
Get yourself two pieces of toast.
Put them in the toaster.
You don't want to fully toast them because you're going to continue to cook them.
So give yourself like a three-quarter toast job.
I like it.
Those things pop out.
Grab yourself a shot glass. You know a shot glass. Oh like it. Those things pop out, grab yourself a shot glass. You know, a shot glass.
Oh yeah. And you drive that thing into the center and you punch a hole.
Just drive it through. You punch a hole and then, you know. Put all your weight on it.
If you don't toast, you're going to, you're just going to make a little gummy spongy hole.
You need a nice crispy toast hole. Yeah. It's going to make it easier to fish out the the puck i'm going to call it so now you got two pieces of toast with a hole in the middle
and two pucks mike you'll love this i like you put some butter in the pan i love it too because
of midsummer night's dream continue and a certain season of the real world i i can't remember a
certain season we won't go into which one.
You butter up the pan.
And wait, is it oil before butter?
When you say butter up, you mean like you give the pan compliments and you say like you give us some money.
It's sweet talk it.
Oil before butter, you love your mutter.
Yeah, I think that's what it is.
Oil before oil, you're going to soil your pants.
So you put a little oil and butter in there.
And don't be shy, folks.
You want this to taste good, right?
This is not the time to be coy.
Breakfast, no.
No, no, no.
You get the oil and butter going.
You put the bread in there and immediately crack that egg into those holes.
You know?
Mmm.
Crack.
And then for me, I do the twisty McCormick sea salt.
The twisty McCormick black peppercorn.
Sea salt.
Oh, a peppercorn.
Now, I heard on the Kardashians that they put Lowry's seasoned salt on their eggs.
You ever use Lowry's seasoned salt?
I do that as well.
In addition, that's number three.
Three spices.
Oh, also, I should mention, yeah, you put butter in the pan.
You're also going to want to butter that toast. Smart. Smart, also, I should mention, yeah, you put butter in the pan. You're also going to want to butter that toast.
Smart.
Smart, smart, smart.
Land O' Lakes meets arrow wheat.
Get some of that Land O' Lakes on there on the top, because when you flip it,
when you flip it, you're going to want that fresh butter to go.
Yeah, that's nice.
That's a nice sound.
So you're going on the eggs.
You got a pretty good idea of it.
Now's the hard part.
You got to flip it.
And how are you going to flip it?
You don't want to do a full suplex.
You don't want to scuff under that toast and then do a full smack.
You want to tilt the frying pan 45 degrees.
And you lay it on there.
So the frying pan meets the egg.
And you lay it back down.
And you do the other side. You can't go more than 45 degrees or you're going to dump the egg and you lay it back down and you do the other side you can't go more than
45 degrees you're going to dump the the egg you're not flipping does that make sense yeah now you got
your flipped eggs i get you yeah flip your pucks too and then you know what grab that salt that
pepper that lowry's do it again on the other side the pucks are in there as well i didn't
the pucks are in there too it's extra bread't pick that up. The pucks are in there too. It's extra bread. You don't want to waste it.
Yeah, I need more carbs.
Yeah, tell that to my ass.
If all goes well. Yeah, tell that to my ass, thighs, arms, neck, and chest.
Go ahead, Jim.
Hands and feet?
Say fuck.
No, no, no.
If all goes well, you've got two carefully preserved jammy yolks yet to be punctured.
You take it off there, and you're ready to rock.
You're ready to go.
That sounds good.
Egg in a hole.
Damn.
So then you pop it, and then the yolk is everywhere?
I love that.
You could sort of cut right into the middle if you want.
Maybe you can use it and distribute on maybe some of the drier parts of the bread.
Need a little of that yolk.
Let's be honest.
You're off to the races. You know what could be a funny thing
is you take those little pucks, you lay them on
your tongue and you
say the body and the blood of Christ.
Could be funny. But here's the thing. If you've done
your job right, you
got the buttery toast with
the Lowry's and the salt and the pepper.
You might not even need egg.
It tastes so good.
But you do have egg.
But you've got egg.
But you do have egg.
Good what you do.
That sounds great.
I've got to do that.
The toad in the hole, the egg in the hole.
Jeff, do you ever accidentally break your yolk?
Be honest.
Tim, half the time I do.
That's why you do two.
So you hedge your bets.
Your odds.
I never, when I was a kid,
I still don't have strong feelings about eggs,
but when I was a kid,
I didn't know that people cared about breaking their eggs.
And I was eating breakfast over at my friend Tom's house.
And he asked his-
Tom Cahill?
You can delete that and his mom jeanette cahill was making his breakfast and uh yeah she's like the nicest
mom ever we're sitting they have like an island in their kitchen so we're sitting on stools like
oh man a family with an island like that's the coolest. It was great. And this was before TikTok fancy kitchens.
This was just like an old-timey island.
It was cool.
But Jeanette goes, okay, boys, how do you want your eggs?
And he goes, Tom, there's a kind of funny vibe with his mom.
We're kind of bossing around a little bit.
And he goes, over easy.
You break them, you eat them.
Jesus.
If you break my yolk, you have to eat my
broken egg.
If you break them, you eat them.
It was like so
mean, but it was very funny to see her be like,
okay, okay.
Okay. My son's an asshole.
I'm going to do what Tom tom says because i don't know
why get this his brother's name guess uh what was the mom's name henry henry kale
no the mom's name is jeanette but the the friend's name is tom
is tom lom lom jerry tom come on tom jerry named after the communal creamy cocktail oh i also i was thinking henry cavill not henry cahill i was like i was like why would this be noteworthy he
probably sounds like a celebrity henry cahill henry cavill i'm trying to actually get my biceps to look like
henry cavill's he was uh passion of the christ right no jim caviezel that's caviezel who's
henry well who are you talking about jeff and who is that henry cavill had that that punch from that
commercial no for that trailer for that mission. Mission Impossible kind of like cocked his bicep.
He like cocked his arms back like, yeah, you're gonna get it, you little bitch.
Oh, shit.
Damn. Well, that sounds like a good egg,
Jeff, and I'm, I
I would, I
look forward to the day when I can stay over at your
house again and you make those for me.
I
will go now. I'll talk about my egg experiences
By the way are we tweeting these
Or is this not one of those
I don't know if this is tweetable content
Yeah right yeah
I mean we could
We could say Starbucks sous vide
We could say eggs in the hole and we could do mics
Yeah let's just let's do it
But mine's long I'll just tell you what mine is
And then we'll listen to my tape
My tape is 12 minutes long Okay so let's settle in get, but mine's long. I'll just tell you what mine is, and then we'll listen to my tape. My tape is 12 minutes long.
Okay, so let's settle in, get some popcorn.
We're listening to a tape.
I am into, these days, making egg bakes.
You ever have an egg bake head hurt?
In a skillet?
No, like a quiche?
It's like a quiche, but I think the difference is a quiche has like a crust to the bottom, like a pie.
You know that place uh square
one in east hollywood right by the celebrity center yes yeah i had an egg bake there mike
it's yeah you put it you bake it for well you'll hear about the whole thing but it's uh
stuff mixed together with eggs and you put it in a uh casserole type dish and you bake it for any amount of time
and it's like you know it's essentially yeah you're right it is kind of like a quiche but a
little different so i've been uh experimenting with these lately and this egg thing just really
came at just the right time for me uh very great fortuitous cool uh, we're gonna go through it
We're gonna listen to this whole thing
Roll it
Tim, you wanna tweet that before we play it?
Oh, wait, hold on
Yeah, maybe tweet it now
Okay, so I'm gonna tweet
Sous vide, egg in a hole, and egg bake
Veggie sausage egg bake
I would call it Starbucks egg bites
Yeah, I would do your
Put Starbucks on it. Okay.
Hit the tape. I'll do this while we're listening.
I might scoot to get a drink too
while we're doing this. Great. Just a can.
It's very quick.
Okay, here we are in Hanford's kitchen
aka Hell's Kitchen
aka Do Not
Sue Me. Gordon
Ramsey, I am getting
things prepared here for a dish that I call the egg bake dream come true.
And I gave it that name because, you know, when you're usually sleeping in bed
and you're having a wonderful dream about an egg bake, and guess what?
It just came true.
So what I'm doing now, I'm getting all the ingredients ready.
And this is going to be a little more complicated than I'm usually used to doing,
but still has all the calling cards of a signature My Can't For Dish,
which is a whole bunch of ingredients mushed together with some cheese holding it in place.
What I'm doing now, I'm just dicing up some onions. And I will give you all the amounts and stuff at the end because I just don't want to deal with that now.
It kind of gets lost.
But, yeah, so I'm just kind of dicing up some onions, making them smaller than they once were.
And then I'm taking a yellow summer squash.
I'm taking a yellow summer squash, and I'm cutting it down the middle, long ways.
And then those long ways things get cut into thin little half moons, as they say in the culinary world.
And I just cut my finger there, getting a little blood all over the veggies, but that's alright, we're gonna, cutting it up some more, you're basically just making the bigger vegetables, smaller vegetables. Golly, I just cut my finger again right in the same spot I'd cut it before.
That's no good.
Fuck, that hurt.
Cutting some more onion here.
And what I like to do with onion, you know, onion, people cut them up, it makes you cry.
I like to cut a big, you know, about a two-inch long piece of onion, and I like to cut a big you know about it two inch long piece of
onion and I like to eat it just sort of gives you that little zip we all know me
I seek the zip the onion and squash are going into the pan those are gonna fry
up and sizzle for I don't really know we'll see
we'll see what happened I'm gonna put some more butter in there if you'll join
me back over here at the fridge I'm gonna take out a bag spinach that's
right all right I got the spinach here on the cutting board and I'm gonna cut
this up into smaller
Just kind of put it in a little pile
And cut it a little more
And
What the
Shit, I cut my thumb
I'm going to get a bandaid
We got a lot of blood flowing here
But
I'll do that later, I'm just going to get this
Fuck flowing here but all right I'll do that later I'm just gonna get this fuck
everyone's while I like to take a butses butter stick pretzel and give that a
chomp because it tastes so good now what I got is three whole carrots it has to be three anymore you will ruin the meal any less you
might just ruin your life and what I do here now is I take that I take the carrot
peeler vegetable peeler thing and I get off all the bad outside you know the dirty shit that you don't want to like
and then ow wow I and I got my fucking knuckle on my middle finger here great so that is now
bleeding I'm going to need a band-aid for that this is not normal. You know, if I was cooking this for other people,
I probably would start over with all the blood in this one.
But since I'm probably just going to be eating this,
it's, you know, the blood's outside the body.
The blood can go back in the body.
If that makes sense.
Any doctors, nurses, anyone in the medical profession,
I would love to get you to chime in on Twitter or Instagram or whatever social medias you got.
And just let me know, is that a safe way to do things?
If blood is outside your body in your food, can you just eat your own blood with the food?
What I'm going to do now is over the top of the frying pan here, using the peeler just to cut off some carrot peels and they go right into the stir fry thing we're doing here.
And I took a little bite of a carrot to be honest with you because I'm an adult and I don't mind the taste.
Alright, I'm just sort of mixing up these vegetables here at this point we've got the squash the onion the spinach yo and the carrot I'm gonna put
some more spinach in here because it doesn't look like a lot now I told you
at the end of this tutorial that I was going to you know tell you all the
amounts well I've forgotten to write them down as I go,
so that will just be half the... That's something you're just going to have to eyeball yourself.
Now my work area here is a bit of a fucking mess.
So what I'm going to do,
I'm going to clean up some of these rinds and scraps
and all the things...
Whoops! Whoops! Ah!
Damn it. Fuck.
I just poked the pinky on my other
hand
with a knife that was, you know,
fuck.
Sort of buried in some of these carrot shavings.
And that's, okay.
So let me
let me just clean this up here.
I'm getting a little, well, I'm cleaning up the blood too.
So that's nice.
Clean up the food and the blood.
And we're back!
Sorry, Jeff, taking that one from you just for a second.
Right now, you're looking at my cutting board.
You're going to see me cutting up frozen sausages into little centimeter-long bits.
Damn, this thing's stacked.
And you add that to the stir fry.
I have stuff going. I'm going to stir that up for a while.
While I'm here at the stove, I'm going to
sort of drop my hand, you know, I've got the stove, I'm going to drop
my hand about three inches and go to the
oven knob and turn the oven on to let's do 375 I think that seems about right
and I'm going to take my hand from that knob and on my stove I'm going to move it to the right
find the knob for the for the burner that I'm using and I'm going to just twist it up Just twist it up, slightly up To turn down the heat on this burner
Hey, I'm going to turn it down some more
I'm just going to go to two, between two and low setting
That should be good for now
And, might as well, I've got some down time
Might as well grab myself another Utz Butter Stick Pretzel
If you're friends with Dutz, you're grabbing a nuts.
Tim, I hate to leave you out here, the catchphrase game, but I told you,
I'll tell you what I told you when we first moved to Hollywood.
You've got to change that last name.
It does not rhyme with anything.
It is difficult to sort of mush into a catchphrase.
So now you're sort of left here out in the cold.
That's true. Not getting in on the fun
uts action sorry but that's the way it is love you love you to death but that's just how it's
gonna be all right i just looked something up and saw that uh egg bakes usually take about, you go to 350 temperature for about 45 minutes.
Okay, now what we need to do, you got a little casserole corningware cooking thing.
Bring that out and get a type of PAM spray.
I got PAM spray right here.
I know you're thinking, hey, where's the gym spray?
All right, let's get the office talk done with right now.
I'm going to spray the inside of that thing just a little bit.
Then you're probably thinking, hey, EggBake, there's no eggs yet.
Well, guess what? Now we use the eggs.
Here I go, I'm pulling them out of the fridge.
You always want to keep your eggs inside the refrigerator,
otherwise they will be bad for you.
I'm going to take gonna take oh let's do
six eggs here Oh crack those I'm gonna crack the six eggs bing-bong right into
a bowl not the not the bowl I just sprayed with the gym I mean Pam sorry
and now these are these are eggs that I got at the store.
They are grade A, Lewistown Valley Egg Ranch, large, farm fresh, brown eggs.
The only egg I will eat.
If I told you where they came out of on the chicken, you'd be disgusted and you wouldn't even believe me, so I'm not going to say.
So I'm mixing, mixing mixing mixing this egg stuff up it's you know this is what you would do if you're having
scrambled eggs maybe Tim and Jeff had scrambled eggs is their egg go to a
little rudimentary but that is their right and their privilege so now you
take the you take the sauteed vegetables and you put that all in your casserole-ini dish.
Then take the eggs that you made up like a creme bologna.
And you dump it all into and all over the stuff you just put in the casserole.
And then mix that all together so it's kind of sausages mixing in with the squash.
And the squash is now touching the carrot, which is touching the spinach.
And now the egg is touching everything.
That's good.
That looks great.
Now you take cheddar cheese.
The OG Kraft natural cheese.
Finely shredded mild cheddar.
I wish they had sharp cheddar, but they didn't.
So you take this
cheese oh ah me i forgot this is an italian five cheese i was i meant to mix this and this
is like parmesan and what do you got uh mozzarella romano asiago parmesan that's all shredded too
do a do a fistful of that put that in the egg mix I meant to do like mixes on so
mix that the cheese in with all the vegetables and the
eggs and sausage so that's like becoming part of it
now you take it she had a cheese yeah
little get on over the cheddar cheese and just do it
you know a couple fingers full and go around the top.
And now you're adding a layer of cheese to the top.
Now here's something that I just learned about.
It is going to blow your little pea brains.
Now here's something I just learned about.
It's going to blow your little mind as it did mine.
Frozen Aura Ida mini tater tots.
Cut that open.
Watch your fingers and don't cut them like I just did mine.
Fuck, right on that same
knuckle where I got myself before.
Okay, so take
Shit, that's bleeding all over the place.
Alright, take the
potato tots and line them
all the way around the top.
You're going to make basically a layer of tater.
A tater layer.
Hey, what do you do in the kitchen?
Well, I work at a very nice restaurant and I spend most of my time at the tater layer station.
Alright, tater layer complete.
Don't mind that folks
I am in a sci-fi mood
I've been watching a lot of Battlestar Galactica
During this pandemic
And I don't like that space ball shit
But they do it just right
Now I'm going to add just a tiny bit more cheese onto the top
Am I overdoing it with the cheese?
Maybe
And the oven is
I just cut myself now on the oven
Handle
That's bleeding more than the other ones And the oven is... I just cut myself now on the oven handle.
Fucking A.
Gee, that's bleeding more than the other ones.
Ah, fuck.
I just did it again.
Same spot.
Same spot on the oven.
Hey.
All right.
I'm going to shove this thing in the oven right in the center there for... Let's do fucking 40 minutes, 45 minutes.
We'll see where we're at.
45 minutes.
Okay, we are done.
It has been the 45 minutes.
I'm going to take this thing out.
It looks great.
And I'm going to eat it now.
And I'll let you guys know how it is when I get back in the studio.
Okay, so that's it from
Hanford's Kitchen, a.k.a.
Hell's Kitchen, a.k.a. Ramsey
Don't Sue Me. Take
care. Brush your hair.
I'm, of course, stealing that
from one of my favorite Instagram
cooks. La Cuisine.
Cooks. Meals by Couges.
There it is
Wow
Man
It's a to-do
But it's a good
It's good
Let me
I should have done this
While we were
Just listening to that
The whole time
Let me grab it
And I'll show you
What it looks like
Oh yeah
It sounds like a large portion
We're gonna see here
Six eggs
That's nearly half a dozen
Plus all those veg he said
It's not the best looking Because it's been The fridge for a while But I did have some before nearly half a dozen. Plus all those veg, he said.
It's not the best looking because it's been in the fridge
for a while, but I did have some before and it was really good.
Holy shit.
That looks like a
Thanksgiving dish.
You put the fucking potatoes
on the top. It's a casserole.
Basically. So I'll eat this for
the next four days.
Can you name all the ingredients once again
yes because i was writing them down as you went and i like lost track i know i should have said
before all this and maybe i'll we should slug this in jeff like hey you have a paper raising
right now it's fine uh it is uh uh squash squash onion, spinach,
sausage,
egg,
carrot,
and you could also do broccoli.
Broccoli is really good in it too,
but honestly, I'm just remembering that now
that I meant to put that in there.
Then you do the sausage
and then egg in there.
Mix in Parmesan cheese with all the the mixture top that with cheddar cheese layer the whole thing with uh frozen
potato tater tots and then put a little cheese on the top as well god that sounds good as fuck
i uh i was so close to voting in the poll from my own personal account for you during the preparation, and I didn't do it.
You shouldn't.
That's immoral.
Well, we each get one vote, though.
But did you vote?
No.
I'm picking at this thing cold.
It's good.
I'm picking at this thing cold.
It's good.
It's really... Also, I would suggest putting onion or garlic salt or something in the whole mixture while you're making it.
Onion salt.
Oh, Michael.
It's good.
I'm very, very impressed.
And I'm ready to report that we have a lot of data from the Twitter sphere.
I've noticed some.
I haven't really looked at it, but a lot of people chiming in just with.
A lot of smack talk.
Let's read some chimers because this is a hot topic.
I asked, what's the best egg?
Starbucks.
Hey, that's where I get my Nightmare Before Christmas shirts.
Hot topic.
Yes.
The store.
Okay, great. I said Starbucks egg egg whites eggs in the hole egg bake
here's some chatter uh mitch on the web says i love eggs i'm gonna make a big spicy omelet right
now laura says who will stand for the deviled eggs oh devil oh that's kind of horse radishy
and they got the paprika on top that's good i see See, I had blinders on. Breakfast blinders.
Me too.
I know, me too.
There's a lot of good eggs.
Rob Byers says, can't wait to totally crack eggs.
You're doing a crack up, kid.
He's doing a little joke.
That's good.
Charlie says, well, he was guessing who guessed what and who said what and was correct.
Kyle Beaudet says, these eggs bad.
Scrambled eggs, Gordon Ramsay styleys. And then Ian Garwood agreed. Only way to do it. correct uh kyle bodette says these eggs bad scrambled eggs gordon ramsay stylies and then
ian garwood agreed only way to do it gordon ramsay style what's that probably just slow
kristen wyatt is on my side here she says bacon gruyere all day baby she even knew the the flavor
uh dan padley says he's something of an egg freak he says poach scramble over easy french
omelet sunny side up uh kelsey says egg mcmuffin oh oh man that is classic that's classic classic
banger that's the best okay well we have 110 votes wow that's really good. That is good.
In third place, with a mere, mere pathetic 12%,
Timmy K, the Catman, Calpy K, Starbucks Egg Bites.
I wish we could send the food out to all of our voters,
because this is not fair.
That's a good egg.
Yeah, but you know what?
I deserve it.
I won best love song with Let Me Smell Your Dick
and I deserve to lose a Twitter poll.
Ouch.
Yeah, I'll come back to get you.
Yeah.
And this wasn't even a competition initially.
This was mid-cast.
We hadn't planned on this being a Twitter poll.
This is more of a blow that we started completely drunk and went into a weird direction.
But the winner, in a landslide, 68% of the vote goes to Jefferson Dutton.
Whoa!
Michael Hanford's egg bite with a mere 20%.
Jeff, so I had 12.
Mike had 20.
You had 68%.
Wow.
Here's the cruel truth, though, Timmy.
I got to try that.
Even knowing and loving my own egg in a hole,
listening to the episode and actually knowing
what these simple-minded voters don't know.
Mike used an oven for his egg.
Yeah.
And he's going to eat it for four days.
That's pretty fancy.
My vote goes to Mike.
And you know what?
I feel like this is sort of like
a Moonlight La La Land thing.
Mike, you've won the episode.
Thank you.
Wow.
That is a first, and I appreciate that, Jeff.
I really do.
Because I got to say, if-
You do your thing, too, and I love that.
If I were to taste one of these, I know the eggs in the hole are great, but I'm more interested
in Hanford's.
Of course.
It's got dimension.
It's got, yeah.
Literally, it's got layers.
Yeah. Whew. Tough to beat.
Mike, you're saying that Jeff does his thing
and you love it? Hey, I love that.
And Tim, you got your own thing going on. I love that too.
An egg? What did I say at the beginning
of this episode? An egg, the symbol
of life. The one
celled organism.
You got an egg.
You got the one thing.
It can go this way, go that way.
It's fantastic.
And I will say one thing I'm forgetting all about.
Two egg dishes I should have mentioned.
Corned beef hash and eggs is like the best.
Oh, yeah.
That's so good.
And chile quiles. am I saying that right?
Oh, yes. Chilequiles?
I've only ever read it.
I don't know how to say it.
That's very good, too.
I agree.
Folks, do yourself a favor tomorrow.
Instead of pouring out your Wheaties and the milk,
you and the captain make it happen.
Yeah.
Oh, mom, can't we get to Lucky Charms?
Your father doesn't want you to eat that crap.
Your father says you're fat like me.
I was talking to a friend when he and his brother were kids.
They would have frosted flakes. They would go to their grandma's house and do frosted flakes with half and half instead of milk.
Oh, wow.
That is like a dessert, and it sounds so good.
I kind of want to try it, but I'm scared of what will happen.
Guys, click on the chat here.
Have you guys heard of soldiers?
Yeah, yeah, Jeff, you told me about Soldiers.
It looks like such a pain in the ass.
It's got one of those egg stands, and you put your soft-boiled egg with the shell in it.
You take the cap off, and that turns into, like, a little jacuzzi that you dip toast sticks in.
And the reason they call them Sold soldiers is because you cut toast into
columns, and those are
your soldiers. And you dip
them in the runny egg.
Well, I've done that.
Once you told me about this, I haven't done it
with the egg stand and all that
pomp and circumstance, but I've done...
I've cut toast that way,
and I've dipped. And I loved it.
You've dipped? I've dipped and I've d toast that way and I've dipped And I loved it You've dipped?
I've dipped and I've dabbled
Wow so okay
As they say
Breakfast is served
Folks thank you so much for listening
We
We
There's no two-way,
two's book.
There's no,
anyway, Slice It,
we fucking love you guys.
And we watch,
we do want you to come back
and we appreciate.
Y'all rock.
Y'all honestly rock the house.
Y'all roll.
We'll see you on the other side
of the
I shit you not.
breakfast roll.
No.
I don't know. Goodbye. We're done now. We'll see you on the sunny side of the mountain. you not breakfast roll. No. I don't know.
Goodbye.
We're done now.
We'll see you on the sunny side
of the mountain.
Bye folks.
This ended up being
a good episode.
The eggs that we didn't like
at the beginning
but now we love eggs.
We love it.
From my head down to my legs.
There you go.
There you go. Give it up for your boys
Give it up for your boys
Give it up for your boys
Give it up for your boys Thanks for watching!