The Sloppy Boys - [UNLOCKED] Ricochichee
Episode Date: June 30, 2021The guys each try their hand at cooking Mike's signature meal combining rice, corn, chicken and cheese.Enjoy this [UNLOCKED] episode from our weekly Patreon bonus podcast, The Sloppy Boys Blowout!www....patreon.com/thesloppyboys Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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🎵
Whoa, folks! Welcome to the Sloppy Boys Blowout.
I'm sitting here with Jeff Dutton.
Hello!
And Tim Kalpakis.
What is up?
And I'm Mike Hanford, and it is another fantastique blowout.
Fantastique.
Fantastique.
Muy, muy...
No, what am I trying to do? French, right?
Fantastique.
What's very French, Tim?
Muy fantastique.
Magnifique is magnificent in French.
I think I told you one time that I had a bad time for 24 hours in Paris.
I got there, I thought I could speak French, and I couldn't.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, when I finally turned a corner, I was at a restaurant,
and I tried to order, and I couldn't get the French
right.
And then the,
the waitress was mad at me and she was kind of being mean.
And,
and I was like,
Jessica,
I'm sorry.
Cause Jessica doesn't speak French.
And I thought,
I thought I spoke French,
but I didn't.
But,
uh,
the way that I turned a corner,
you know,
when you order wine and they pour you one little sip and you take a sip,
whether, and you say whether you like it or not?
You say oui or non.
Yeah, exactly.
This mean waitress, I tried to speak French to her.
She didn't speak any English and she got mad at how bad my French was.
I was on the outs with her.
I felt bad.
And I managed to order some Bordeaux because it's a word I knew.
And then she poured me one little sip and she's like looking at me mad. And I took a sip and I said, man, you speak. And she laughed and she laughed
and she's like, and it was like a, uh, international language barrier breaking joke.
And then, uh, for that point forward, we had a great jolly dinner and I was like,
I was, uh, I was in Switzerland once and I was like, these French people. Tim, you pulled it out. You saved it. I was in Switzerland once
and I was at a bar
and the waitress was asking me,
or the bartender was asking me
where I was from.
And I said, LA.
And she asked what I did.
And I said,
I was a writer, actor, a comedian.
And she goes,
comedian like Jim Carrey? And I go, yeah, like Jim a comedian. And she goes, comedian like Jim Carrey?
And I go, yeah, like Jim Carrey.
And she goes, ha ha ha ha.
The mere mention.
Yeah, just like, you do comedy?
Like Jim Carrey does comedy?
Yes.
Oh, then you must be so funny.
I bet, you know what?
She was probably picturing that scene in yes man where he's like Red Bull
I had a Red Bull do you want a Red Bull Red Bull Red Bull's really real was that that almost seems
like around the time when Red Bull was getting popular so it was like yeah do Red Bull joke
that's funny in France they call yes man uh we ohm isn't isn't monsieur uh or is that mr that's mr i think i think it's probably
you had a funny name you know when you took a in high school or middle school you took a language
either spanish or french and they give you like your name in the class you had a funny one what
was it it's the french version of hue is because they didn't have a tim or something um we got to just
pick uh oh you could go i was i was andre i was i was miguel in one class and then i went to a
different next year i went to a class and they already had a miguel so i was manuel that's an easy little swap um there was a kid in my class who was very funny and
he he had to have carrie funny basically yes man red bull funny no all semester he wanted to be
named uh because he was a big fan of um biggie and he said can you call me grand papa like i like it when you call me big
papa and then all the whole it's similar to how i softened that french waitress that one time
our teacher um was like no you can't be grand papa you have to pick you have to pick a normal
name and then uh everyone in the class just kept calling this kid grand papa for like a whole
semester and then eventually the guy the teacher was like kid grand papa for like a whole semester and then eventually the guy
the teacher was like okay grand papa
and we're like yay!
Come on give him that
that's super funny
What a funny win
I remember
in French class it was always like
whenever you're like can I go to the bathroom
they'd be like ah ah all Francais
In the toilet can i shit my pants i have to take one two
i have to take one two Well, talking about ndw makes me think of the topic for the day.
Oh, Mike.
No, no, no.
You're talking about shit, Jeff.
Today, we're talking about a very delicious meal.
Yes.
We today on The Blowout, I'm going to teach everyone how to make raiko chai chi.
Wow, the official real recipe.
The official real recipe.
I've talked about it on this podcast.
I've talked about it on other podcasts.
It's almost like the thing of folklore at this point.
People have heard Raikou Chai Chi.
At this point, it is.
It's a hot LA-based dish that you invented.
Yes, I invented this back when we lived in the birthday boy's house.
It is rice, corn, chicken, and cheese.
And the name is rye ko chai chi.
There you go.
It's easy. And
the way I came up with it,
purely by accident,
not unlike some
interesting... Sorry, this didn't come
from rigorous testing of
different recipes. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Not at all. I was making
chicken and rice.
And I'm
saying to myself, okay, and I think
corn was on the menu.
I made the rice and
I made it bad. It was like really
wet and just like,
you know, it wasn't doing the grain thing that I wanted because I don't cook rice very well, even though it's one of my favorite foods, rice.
So I was like, all right, what am I going to do here? I'm frying up these chunks of chicken in a saucepan.
And I said, well, I'm just going to throw the rice in there because maybe like some of the watery stuff will like evaporate out.
stuff will like evaporate out and then i'm looking at this uh corn and i'm thinking i'm already making one pot dirty i don't want to wash another pot the corn goes in and now it's just this like big
mess of rice corn and chicken and then i say to myself yeah well i'll put cheese on this because
it's already a big mess and i like cheese the cheese went went on it, pulled it off the stove,
ate it, loved it, named it.
Telling about it today. Raiko Chai Chi.
It's Raiko Chai Chi week here
on The Blowout.
Now you two,
you had?
I have not had.
I've seen. I've been
present.
I lived in that house and i remember you eating this a lot i don't remember that original night the eureka moment i maybe wasn't present for
but i remember you making a lot of raiko chai chi and in my memory yes it was a lot of times when it
was leftovers because you a lot of people don't know this but mike hanford
likes to eat a square meal yes we were we were kind of like a young 20 something bro house a lot
of kind of like you know lean cuisines and stouffer's skillets going on and you were you
were putting chicken legs into the oven and you like to have a plate that has a vegetable and a protein and a starch.
Oftentimes your chicken would be very much undercooked.
Oftentimes it would be a purple sinewy leg.
Yeah. Oh yeah.
Yeah. I would,
there were some times I would take a bite out of a chicken drumstick and it'd
be like pink. And I was like,
it would spray blood in the living room.
It was like a rare chicken.
You would take a bite, you chew swallow and say well I'll be on the toilet
for the rest of the night
come on down if you need me
I'll read my parts from the toilet if that's okay
then I would have to take that like raw
chicken thing and put it back on
the wherever grill
or like frying pan
and then like all the rest of the stuff is getting cold and it's just like
way like burnt out thing.
And it's,
yeah,
it was a mess.
Around that same time.
Um,
I remember Jeff's go-to meal,
two turkey burgers,
not one,
but two turkey burgers.
I'm talking maybe five nights a week.
And not,
Oh,
and you put them on a bun, didn you yeah of course a non-toasted
non-grilled wheat bun yes right i don't grill the buns unless it's i mean i'll do it i'll do it for
you i'll do it for i'll do it for anyone else but um you'll eat one for me i don't your anaconda
don't doesn't want none i like a soft bun i don't i don't get the like oh it's gonna get like hard
and dry when i put it on the grill.
Hey, more for you.
That's what people are saying.
Oh, this is going to get hard and dry.
But it was a whole wheat bun.
I don't remember.
We're talking Jenny-O patties.
And yeah, whatever cheap bun.
I don't know.
I thought it was always whole wheat.
I do think there was a moment. You it was always wait no i do think there
was a moment you know what jeff i do the onion onion on there i think that you used to have two
when we were like 22 23 yeah you would have two beef burgers on white buns and then when we were
a mature 25 you would have two turkey burgers burgers on a wheat bun. That tracks.
Yeah.
While we're on this road of invented foods,
I don't know if we've talked about it on the pod, but
the other thing I remember
being in the kitchen for was panquizza.
Oh, yeah.
That was sort of a... Pancake pizza.
Pancake pizza. That was Tim made a
pizza with pancake dough, basically.
Pancake batter. Oh, it was awful. And that did not go well. What was it tim tim made a pizza with pancake dough basically pancake batter oh it was awful
and that did not go well didn't wait what was it you you made a pancake and then you put like
weird southwestern stuff on it yeah it's kind of funny that we didn't share food right we had one
normal size fridge with five guys and you would think that we would yeah just be like hey we're
having spaghetti tonight altogether or whatever.
Right, right, right.
We never were that good. And that thing would happen where the back third of the fridge would just be rotting food.
I feel like my eating was all over the place where, Jeff, you settled into the two burgers,
either on the grill or on the George Foreman, and it was a thing you did. Mike, you had your
Raikou chai tea or you roasted your chicken, you had
your square meals. I don't even remember
what I ate. It was just all over the
place. And then there was a time
that all I had was like Bisquick pancake
mix and
shredded cheese and
not even marinara. I had a bottle
of dinosaur barbecue sauce.
And I made it into a big
pizza and I was like guys it'll work
like pan pizza dude and it was awful there was another time that you guys made fun of me because
i was having a bagel and corn just like a dry lenders bagel toasted dry yeah and then a can
of like creamed corn on it i remember one time i i put I put hummus on a bagel.
I took a bite and I was like,
too much beige.
It's a thick beige.
You're talking about the fridge going like the back row
getting disgusting.
The fridge was also the spot where
Van Artsdale would leave
a sip or two left in a
diet Sprite all the time um i remember in the kitchen
one time i was putting the uh like putting all this stuff in the dishwasher away and i was doing
the silverware and i was in a mood and i was like slamming each like thing just like slamming each
fork and knife and stuff in the drawer and chris was also in the
kitchen and he was like hey easy with that stuff and then i just took the whole handful and just
dumped it all in there not in any type of like space or anything michael just because i was
i'd be a little shit and he's like come on come on man i'm like this isn't real housewives you
can't do that shit up at this thing no i and
then i was like i'm sorry and i put him back but i was a little angry at the time a lot of more
morning star patties yeah with a whole plate full of ketchup the guy likes to dip yeah a lot of
ketchup he likes to dip like kitchen another another problem at that at that old fridge was what we call the condiment creep. Mm-hmm. And I remember when one time Eric Shiner, our buddy, good friend of the pod,
we were clearing out the condiment creep.
That's when you go in and you say, these pickles or this mustard or this whatever.
This is two years ago.
Whose is this?
Whose relish?
We're getting rid of it.
The condiment creep comes from like you just keep buying the same condiments
because you don't realize what's in there
and it just fills up.
That's what the thing comes to.
It's more so than it expiring
because condiments tend to like hang around a while.
You realize that you have four mustards.
That's the condiment creep.
So Shiner, he was like, what item was it?
Do you remember?
It was a Tupperware of fruit.
Like a mixed fruit.
And he opened it up and he smelled it and he gagged.
He like almost hurled.
It's because there was a nasty smell in the fridge.
That's what it was.
There was a nasty smell in the fridge.
We were trying to locate it.
Somewhere.
He opens up the thing and took a whiff and was like, oh!
And we were like, oh no, he's found it.
That's what it is.
He's found patient zero.
And then we smelled it. it was like smells fine to me
smells fine to me and we all smelled it
and he was like yeah I think I just
overreacted
he just convinced
himself he pictured his reaction
before he even smelled
hit his nose weird or something they just like
stuck with it he's like this is it we gotta throw this out
I remember him like making a beeline to the garbage like i better throw it out fast before these guys smell it
what a funny what a weird thing to be like uh just just go with it that was my fruit that's
something i used to eat a lot back in those days is a giant can of fruit cocktail yeah yeah that
kind of old-timey cubes with a little pink cherries in it. And I think I thought like,
that's healthy.
It's syrup.
It's heavy syrup.
And I would sometimes eat it
just straight out of the can
with a big old spoon.
Sure.
The can that you like used a jackknife to open up.
I used a jack off.
What?
On that note,
let's get to the chai tea.
All right. Well, we all made get to the chai chi. All right.
Well, we all made some raikou chai chi at our own homes.
Today.
Sure.
And we ate them, and now we're going to talk about them.
We're going to talk about it.
So the challenge was, Mike, you said, guys, make raikou chai chi.
But you also didn't give us – we know rice, corn, chicken, and cheese.
Right.
But we don't know the method.
We don't know the measurements. And you didn't give a, we know rice, corn, chicken, and cheese. Right. But we don't know the method. We don't know the measurements.
And you didn't give them to us.
You said, figure it out, dudes.
You're on your own, dudes.
Well, it is.
Trial by fire.
It's really the only recipe out there that's just the ingredients.
The amounts and add-ons is make what you will.
What I did, I recorded my whole, like, making the process.
I edited it a little bit.
But I recorded my making of the Raikou Chai Chi today,
and we can listen to that now.
All right, here we go.
I'm going to make my world-famous Raikou Chai Chi.
I don't know why they call it world-famous.
I don't think anyone knows about it outside of me, my friends,
and some people
who've heard on a podcast, but whatever. The world famous Raikou Chai Chi. Now, what we do to start,
heating up a pan with just a little bit of oil in it. You can use pan, you can use butter,
whatever you want. And I cut up some Purdue boneless, skinless chicken breast, thin.
I bought it thin. And I just cut it up into little cubes or chunks, whatever. I bought it thin.
And I just cut it up into little cubes or chunks,
whatever you want to call it.
And I put it in a little Tupperware.
I add some Brianna's homestyle real French vinaigrette dressing
that I had in the fridge to marinate overnight.
And I also added, if you listened to last week's pod I added some Old Bay
spice because as you know that is now my favorite spice ever so maybe the pan's
hot enough I'm just gonna plop the chicken in there ooh you hear it
sizzle sizzle this is great this is delightful and it's sticking to the pan so I'm gonna
move that I probably didn't use enough oil.
There it goes.
Alright, I'm going to turn the heat down on that.
Now what you don't want to do with the chicken is eat it raw.
Chicken is not good rare most people don't eat chicken rare you can't
get it rare anywhere it doesn't taste good and it's not good for you gonna
make you sick gonna make you puke all year over your little shirt and pants if
you're sitting down if you're standing up you probably just puke all over the
floor I'm gonna turn the heat back up because now it's too low and I'm missing if you're sitting down. If you're standing up, you probably just puke all over the floor.
I'm going to turn the heat back up because now it's too low and I'm missing that sizzle.
All right, while that's cooking, the other ingredients you need are cheese, corn, and rice.
Rai ko chai chi. All right, why don't we give the chicken a stir here. I'm trying to flip some of these pieces that haven't gotten cooked yet it's just a big mishmash mush right in there all
right now the chicken is still cooking away I'm going to add rice what you
would do usually what I would do what any chef would do is probably cook the rice separately and then add that to the
Raikou chai cheese I don't I haven't been making rice very well lately I
don't know it's it comes out too mushy or soupy or something so what I'm gonna
do is use this thing I got it's called it's organic white jasmine rice that's, I think, pre-made in this little package here.
And I'm supposed to break it up.
And I think I just add it to, what it says is,
Squeeze unopened pouch to separate rice. Doing that now.
Tear top corner to open and pour contents into skillet.
Add one teaspoon olive oil and stir over medium heat until warm thoroughly.
Add 1 teaspoon olive oil and stir over medium heat until warm thoroughly. Now I'm not going to do that in a separate pot or skillet or anything.
I'm just going to add this right to the already cooking chicken because I think this rice
is cooked.
I just need to heat it up.
Oh yeah, that looks pretty cooked.
This is from a company called Lundberg Family Farms. Lundberg.
Trader Joe's. Not to be confused with Lundberg. Nice. A lot of space. Although, I'm sure
he would enjoy this as well. I always confuse it. Alright, the rice is now in with the chicken.
I'm just going to kind of start stirring all this up mish mash mash it up now I want to go back to the marinade I was talking
about you can use any marinade you want you can you know if you like a Montreal
seasoning or something you can use Montreal chicken seasoning you can use
that you can do like a lemon pepper thing that sounds good anything you want
and the chicken doesn't have to be the thin cut boneless skinless you can use
thin chicken breast you can use thick as you want just cut it up as small as you
like it or as big as you like it and throw it in a skillet all right that's cooking up there now comes the
co part of the meal that's the corn we got the corn and i've chosen bird's eye sweet kernel corn
bird's eye the corn that can i'm gonna, I just cut open the little bag here.
It's frozen corn.
I'm stirring up my chicken and I'm stirring up my rice.
Stirring up the chicken.
The chicken's very nice.
Okay.
Now I'm going to just dump some corn on there.
Not all of it.
Just sprinkle it around.
Get it going.
It's still frozen.
I'm just going to kind of let it cook in here. And I'm going to stir this corn in. And the
heat of everything and the oils of the chicken and the marinade will mix all in there and start cooking the corn.
Now, there's also, this is raiko chai chi.
There's also rai bie chai chi.
That's rice, beans, chicken, and cheese.
When you do that, you use a green bean, frozen green bean.
I don't know if there's any other type of rai blank chai chi. I haven't come across any yet I haven't
come across any yet because I have not made any yet let's try one of these
corn yep they're getting cooked I dropped some chicken out.
Good.
The next step, the last step, is going to be adding the cheese.
And that's a simple step.
You just sprinkle shredded cheese over the top of it so it all melts in and gets everything all gooey and glumpy together.
For this iteration of Raikou Chai Chi, I picked Kraft's Natural Cheese Sharp Cheddar Shredded Cheddar Cheese.
And this package boasts no R-B-S-T hormone.
Ooh, that's good.
Can't...
Don't want those.
Alright, you can hear this.
This is making sure it's not sticking to the bottom.
It is a little bit.
That's what happens when you cook with me
everything gets stuck to the pan now what I'm gonna do I'm gonna add some
more Old Bay I'm gonna do a few dashes of Old Bay to the whole thing kind of
pepper this up and maybe I'll add some pepper too I know you can add whatever you want garlic salt would be good onion powder pepper for me all right so I'm looking
at this it doesn't look like there's enough red from the old base so I'm just
gonna kind of put in some more old bay to make it look a little better and just
constantly stirring and mixing about the color twirling. It's just about the color, not the taste.
Ah, dee dee dee, some people like to sing when they cook, I don't.
We'll keep letting this cook a little more.
Make sure that chicken's all the way cooked.
I started this thing about, oh, I'd say 15 minutes ago, and I assume the chicken is cooked
by then, but who knows
okay it is come that time I'm gonna add the cheddar cheese I'm just gonna
sprinkle it all over the top as much as you like or as little as you like up to
you I'm gonna do I do a pretty good amount here.
All right, I'm going to take this off the heat.
I'm going to spoon some into a bowl here.
You can use a plate if you like.
You could use a mug.
Put the Raikou chai cheese in a mug and eat it with a fork.
All right, and now comes my favorite part of the process, the eating! Just
kidding I hate whenever a YouTube chef or a TV chef says that part. Alright here we go.
Extremely hot. Mmm oh yeah. Whoo very hot. I should have poured myself a glass of something to drink.
I got some Louisiana hot sauce here I'm gonna put on. Heat it up a little bit. I should have poured myself a glass. Let me drink.
I got some Louisiana hot sauce here I'm going to put on.
Heat it up a little bit.
The Old Bay is really good.
That Old Bay is coming through nice.
I knew it would.
And what pairs well with this, drink-wise?
Well, what do you like to drink?
Drink that.
All right, that's Raiko Chai Chi.
Back to you guys.
Hey, all right.
That was very, very soothing.
It was like a Julia Child thing.
It's the music.
That's one of my favorite songs.
Baccarelli Minuet?
Yeah, Luigi Baccarelli.
That's the song,
anytime I make Jessica a cup of coffee,
I say,
do-do-do-do-do.
Do-do-do-do-do.
It is fun.
If you've ever
just listened to that
while you eat,
it's,
you eat a little different
and you talk to people
a little bit while you eat.
Yeah, makes you sit up straight.
It turns it into an event,
you know?
Yeah.
So that's how you make it.
It's pretty easy
and it's all kind of as however you make, however you see fit.
Yeah. And I related to a lot of the stuff that you said throughout, like sticking to the pan, for example.
Always.
Big problem for the J-man over here.
I'm not looking forward to when this podcast is over and I got to go clean that.
Yeah.
Get the Brillo pad guys but here's the thing it's a double-edged sword because you don't want it to
stick but also i know if you you don't want it to like not brown up you know if you if you throw
in the pan you mix it around right away it doesn't it doesn't get a nice seal on it right and that's
what uh so something i didn't mention in that little uh talk through it is nice when you get
the everything kind of like the crispy and brownie.
Yeah. Yeah. Even the cheese. So Tim, did your method vary at all from what we just heard?
Cool. Quite a bit. Well, interesting. Yeah. I was surprised. I learned a lot while listening
to this, Mike. This was like, so just educational. It's almost, I guess I would call this
infotainment because I was really, it was fun, but I was like getting a lot out of it.
My method was, you know, I was really going, because part of me was like, should I try to make the best rye curd?
Should I take each one of these ingredients and make it fancy?
Should I go to the farmer's market for the corn? Blah, blah, blah, you know, kick it up. But then I decided,
no, I'm going to go for authenticity. I'm going to think at each step, WWHD, what would Hanford do?
I wouldn't do that, Tim.
So, so what I was doing, and I had some misfires here, but I was picturing, I was trying to think
10 years ago at the house. I never really saw you cooking it, but I saw you eating it. And I,
and I was trying to make the choices that I thought you would. And I made some wrong. So
when I, when I went shopping at Albertsons, I was looking at the cheeses. I said, which cheese
would speak to Hanford? And I went with a Sargento bag.
I was right in that it was shredded.
You had shredded sharp cheddar.
But I got a mix, like the one that had the mozzarella and the cheddar and all the cheeses together.
Like the Mexican cheese mix?
Yes.
Yeah, I've done that before.
Oh, well, fantastic.
Maybe I did good.
Corn is corn. I got a can of. Maybe I did good. Corn is corn.
I got a can of corn.
You had,
you had a bag of frozen corn.
That's a little bit fancier.
Um,
I had bottom of the line can.
And then my one Liberty was that the rice,
I happened to have some,
a little container of,
uh,
leftover Chinese delivery rice,
but it was brown rice.
And I know that you're not a big brown rice fan.
It's okay.
It's all okay.
Hey, this is going great for me.
Did you eat and are you full?
Well, I'm starting to get a little bit cocky, quite frankly.
I think I am the shit.
And then, no, but then here's, this one surprised me.
What you did with your chicken was impressive because I was picturing the old Hanford kind of purple little measly bones you're picking out of the fridge.
No, no, no, no.
I, a week ago, ordered, you know, in LA we have all these delicious Armenian chicken places, your Zanku and your Al Wazir.
chicken places, your Zanku and your Al Wazir. Further down the line, you got the, I think it's called like Roku, Rococo chicken. I had ordered some rotisserie chicken, but kind of a little
bit too long ago. And it was in my fridge and it was a whole chicken sitting there. And I looked
at it and it's a whole chicken in there. And I said, this is a little bit gray but maybe that is authentic to what hanford used to
wait a minute wait a minute the only meats i buy gray are those manager specials yeah your steaks
your steaks give you food steaks can be gray i pulled my chicken off of a cold whole rotisserie
and as for the cooking well why don't you go ahead and play the clip
chick chick all right i'm about to hit the pan i got uh pam spray i figured that's what mike
would put in his pan and now as far as the order it's tricky because you want everything to get a
good scald on it and they have different timings and stuff so i have a feeling mike would
have just thrown everything in at the same time but i'm gonna do chicken and corn first that's
chicken that's corn oh yeah that's a nice sizzle going i'm gonna let this go until it's lightly
brown i had it on medium heat but i'm gonna crank this up high and get a good scald on this. Okay I got
a beautiful sumptuous sizzle on the corn and the chicken. I'm gonna pull it off
and I'm gonna scrape all this onto a side plate and now I'm gonna throw the
rice in the pan by itself. Scrape as a carrot goes. There it goes.
Chopping up the rice. Oh no.
It was a brick.
Oh no.
This is humiliating.
And the weird part will be the cheese,
because did he wait and just put cheese over the top
and let it melt on there?
Or was it mixed in the whole time?
I kind of like when you burn cheese in a pan
and get it kind of chewy
But I don't think that's what Mike did
And the do's the chicken and corn is going back in
Yeah, baby
Hey, you know what? This is looking right? I'm not gonna put a layer of cheese on top. I'm just gonna go
Hogwild with cheese and mix it in
of cheese on top. I'm just gonna go hog wild with cheese and mix it in. Eh, maybe just a little sprinkle of cheese over the top. Oh no.
All right, it's plated. It looks great and now it is time to taste.
Golden brown.
Rice is perfectly cooked. Cheese is perfectly melty. Corn sweet.
Chicken is noticeably a little old,
but I think that's authentic.
It occurred to me that I did not put salt or pepper.
I'm going to blast it with ketchup.
Oh.
Mmm. Ketchup is ketchup. Oh. Mmm.
Ketchup is good.
Interesting.
That's the way to go.
A message from Heinz.
See ya.
Wow.
I did, and then I busted, after I stopped recording, I busted out the Tabasco, and that's
when things really got cooking.
Yeah, that's when you really go.
The ketchup's a good one, but I'd never done it, but you can do a one, any sauce you like.
That's what's so cool about this, Mike.
It's customizable.
If you have something that is important to you
and you want to do it your way, you can do that here.
It's the culinary equivalent to a cool iPhone case.
You've got your favorite football team on it
or you have a dog and you've got a picture of that dog.
Yes, I agree, but it's still a phone.
You know what I mean?
I mean, we're joking.
We're all joking, but I do think that it's a,
it's very, it's a very foundational square meal.
It is, it meal. It is.
It is.
It's got them all.
To what Tim, the misstep, I mean, I say misstep just because, I'll say misstep.
This is my recipe.
I fucked up.
Putting the, I think the order is right by going chicken, rice, corn, cheese.
I think that cooks them all in the right amount.
You what? What?
What was very funny is I, I saw, I added the cheese too early and I swirled it in and cooked
it with the cheese. So, and that tasted fine when I was eating it hot, but I noticed I left the
kitchen and like an hour later I didn't finish and I left my plate out there and it, uh, when
it got cold, it like turned into a solid brick because it had fatty cheese throughout it.
I just texted you guys a picture of my thing, and we should post this so you get a sense.
Oh, yeah.
I took pics, too.
I should have taken a picture of mine.
Kind of a yellowy glob.
Yeah, that's about right.
It's all there.
It's all there.
Mine was much more beige than this.
Look, you got the heat lines and everything.
Oh, yeah.
That's steamy.
And then also, I texted my brother because my know my brother's a really good chef and he used
to work in restaurants and and he one time at home he made raiko chai chi he sent me a picture
of it i texted him the picture i just texted him now to get the picture and he just sent it to me
and here i'm sending it to you and he he sent it to me on instagram and i can't get it anymore it's
like it timed out or whatever that is here check our email chain because i just sent it to me on Instagram and I can't get it anymore. It's like timed out or whatever that is. Here, check our email, Jane, because I just sent it to you.
And it is like the cover of Bon Appetit magazine.
Yeah, I mean, I told him this, that like it, he did this the way he makes it, which is a good chef type of thing.
It looks like a Brooklyn brunch.
You know, it looks like a hash.
That looks, that looks very good.
Dang.
But it's, it's, yeah, you bring to, you bring your cooking level to what you're making.
Yeah, you do.
You definitely do.
That was also nice to listen to somebody walking through a cooking thing.
That should be, maybe that's what I'll use to put myself to bed at the end of the night.
That's got to be gratifying for you to think that here's Tim, you know, fumbling his way through a recipe that you have mastered.
It kind of was interesting to hear, like, what would Mike do in this situation?
This is, since you used that old chicken, this is a recipe.
And leftover rice.
This is very much a leftover-y plop on.
Oh, sure.
It's almost like a garbage plate.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
It's, oh, what I was going to say is I noticed that, uh, both Tim and I made up,
uh, slogans for the name brand Heinz or bird's eye. Oh yeah. Hey, you can do that too. While
you're making the, making the meal, we've done a lot of branded comedy videos. So it's almost
hard to not do that these days. And you let you enjoy the taste of, Oh my God. Once I got the
Tabasco on there, I was like, this is a fantastic meal.
I should have been salting and peppering and, quite frankly, celery salting.
Ooh.
All along.
All right.
That's your favorite spice.
Right.
You guys want to know what I did?
Yes.
Yes.
I had a similar approach to the tea man where I said, look, I know Hanford puts all these together in a big old pan,
but this is a lot of cooking and I'm going to eliminate the hard part. And I'm going to go
to the grocery store and grab a rotisserie chicken and just take the breasts off that thing.
Nice. I mean, yeah, that's, that's great. Now, when you were at the grocery store,
you didn't see, they didn't just have prepackaged Raiko chai tea. You could have just bought.
I looked and they didn't have it.
Sold out.
That's, that's good.
I would suggest to the listeners who are wanting to make it for the first time, do your own, get the, get the raw chicken, cook that up.
Make it from scratch.
Yeah.
Well, here's, so here's what I did.
You might consider this to be a shortcut.
I don't know.
I, uh, I'm partial to the boil in a bag rice. Uh-huh. You familiar? You to be a shortcut. I don't know. I'm partial to the boil-in-a-bag rice.
Uh-huh.
You familiar?
You've had.
Yes.
Yep.
You've had.
That's your go-to.
And so I found, normally I would even go brown maybe,
but I had 10-minute white boil-in-a-bag rice,
which I threw in the pan first.
Sorry, no, I boiled first.
So it's all done.
It's done rice.
Yeah.
I threw that in a frying pan with a little spray with the corn right behind it.
Soon to follow.
Yes, yes.
And I was like, these got to crisp up.
The chicken is nowhere.
Is the chicken at least out of the fridge at this point?
Yeah, I mean, it's cooked and it's fresh.
It's fresh from the grocery store.
It's maybe even sitting on the counter for like 30 minutes.
Okay.
And so that's going.
And now is when I hit my first hurdle, right?
I've chopped, I've removed the chicken breast
over on the side and I've chopped it up
into like cubes or chunks or whatever.
Good.
And now the pan is starting to grab onto the bits of the rice and I'm having
to,
and I'm having to go from soft spatula to hard spatula just to kind of get it
going.
Now I'm getting papery chunks of like,
of like fried rice in with the rice.
It's not a smooth operation like I wanted.
So I'm going for a while and I'm not getting that like overall browning of the rice because also a whole bag of rice and a whole can of green
giant whole kernel corn yeah is a full frying pan at least the one i have oh yeah it's a it's a meal
this is a four meal for like a family of four and so then i i make way and i plop i plop in the chicken
because it's already it's already cooked it's good to go but uh i want to get it heat i want
to i want to get it on the surface and the whole time i'm kind of like intermittently putting
putting like a half pan on top of everything to reflect the heat back down and to kind of keep it
you know keep the heat going back in like a lid, like a lid that's not big enough for the frying
pan, you know what I mean? Yeah, because
you're letting the steam out, but you're
keeping the heat in. Yeah, yeah, yes.
And mixing
kind of a lot. And
I will say I never really achieved
the nice browning effect on each
individual rice or
corn kernel. Did you look at them with
a jeweler's loop to check?
Well, you know, I just didn't have the real estate.
If I had four frying pans,
I could maybe spread it out a little bit.
And then finally I had, I think it's Sargento.
Yeah.
Cheddar Jack, like a Cheddar Jack mix.
Yeah, you did the blend.
Yeah, baby, it's a blend.
Because I read, you know,
if you use shredded cheese for cooking,
you should get a sharp or something that's sharp-ish because otherwise the flavor is going to get lost and it's just going to be glue.
And it just becomes a glue.
Yeah.
Which is a big part of this.
Yeah.
The glue factor, you know, I sprinkled a little bit and then I mixed it in and then, you know what, I sprinkled a little bit more on top.
Oh, you don't.
Yeah.
And so this thing was gluey, baby.
When I got to mixing, this thing was gluey.
Hey, somebody call Elmer.
Come on.
And all throughout, I thought, you know what?
I'd be a real horse's ass if I didn't use this spice that I made a big push on last week.
Oh, it's perfect.
So I'm dumping Lowry's on that thing between all these stages.
There you go.
Great.
So it doesn't look quite as like caramel browned as I want it to look,
but I had enough for like a big old bowl and then a big bowl that I put in a
Tupperware that I'm going to eat right after we finished recording.
Yeah.
And, uh, and you know what?
I, I enjoyed it.
It was bland-ish, but what I want to say-
You didn't make it right.
Yeah.
You fucked up so bad.
Then you fucked up, Jeff, and you didn't make it right.
It should have tasted like the finest gourmet.
It's a square meal, a baseline thing,
and I just tried my different hot sauces on it.
I had a blast. It's a square
meal that is like
with the hot sauces or the ketchup, it's
a flavor vehicle.
That's all it is. It's a flavor
vehicle. I love a shitty dinner.
If I'm having like
baseline like a mac and cheese or something.
No, not this.
I said this was the finest gourmet.
But let's say it's a sad night
and I'm having mac and cheese.
I love to bring my little plate of food
out to the couch and then to bring
nine bottles of different hot sauce.
I'm a sultan.
And I'm like, this bite
has jalapeno
Tabasco, whereas this bite
has chipotle Tabasco.
You know what would be good is adding, doing Raikou Chai Chi with a little jalapenos in it.
Yeah, those hot jalapenos would be good.
It's very Southwestern.
The rice, corn, chicken, and cheese is something you could find in like a burrito somewhere.
Oh, yeah.
It is like the contents of a burrito.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. something you could find in like a burrito somewhere. Oh yeah. It is like the contents of a burrito.
But also a very hearty,
like I felt my body temperature go up after I ate it.
You know,
like how high?
Like 112.
Okay.
You have COVID.
Well,
it's funny you're mentioning the thing.
Both of you mentioned the thing about the browning.
Mine is,
mine was like kind of whitish beige with a little bit of yellow in it.
That's why I was adding that old bay just to give it some color.
It's too much.
Yeah, sure.
But the flavor helped too.
And you enjoyed ultimately.
Of course.
Well, this is great.
Yeah, I really enjoyed it.
This is great.
This is so great to hear.
I'm glad about it. I liked it.
And here's what I thought is I like getting the corn in there.
Also, you know, it's like I wouldn't normally have corn.
I don't know if I've had corn in years.
I know.
It was nice.
Try it.
You got to try it with the green bean.
Try with the green bean.
Oh, that's good.
Because I'm trying to not fill my plate with too many carbos and green beans.
I mean, it's a legume.
It has carbos, but it's healthy.
Sure.
Now, I know we're sort of throwing a lot at you.
We're seeing how I make it.
Tim made it.
Jeff made it.
So what I did, you guys know I live in New York City now.
I teamed up with a very famous singer, Debbie Harry.
Oh, wow.
From Blondie.
Oh, my God, Blondie.
Yeah, Blondie and the, I would say, big, big, huge band in the late 70s, early 80s.
New Wave.
CBGB, 1977.
You had to be there, man.
Yeah, totally.
That's right.
It was a scene and she was a big part of it.
One of the first rappers.
That's true. Oh that i heard that did that that one song was like the first rap song ever on the charts so i i reached out to her never met her before she didn't know me and i told her
the situation i said i want to make a song to sort of like uh just tell people how to make raiko
chai she didn't know what that was
I had to explain that
how to make it
what it's all about
just something simple
that people don't understand
hold on
Mike she didn't
understand at all
is this lady
no she had never heard it
I'm sorry
what planet is she from
I know
she said she didn't
listen to the podcast
I heard my French
but is she a
fucking moron
I mean
she said
she didn't listen
to the podcast she'd never heard our albums she moron i mean she said she didn't listen to the
podcast she'd never heard our albums she'd never heard our albums i said you're a musician
hold on what about paradiso oh my god nothing she's heard albums before but not our album sure
anyway hadn't been to a show anything so i said fine i sent her a whole bunch of stuff she loved
it and she wanted to work with me. So we put something together.
I took care of the lyrics.
I took care of the lyric end of it.
She did the production and the arrangement, which is a little...
She took some liberties.
Well, didn't take liberties, but she arranged it in a certain way.
But anyway, so here's the song that me and Debbie Harry came up with.
But anyway, so here's the song that me and Debbie Harry came up with.
Chai-Chi, Raikou Chai, Raikou Chai-Chi, make it any time.
Chai-Chi, Raikou Chai, if you eat it, you're a friend of mine.
Chai-Chi.
God, it's all over the place.
First you cut some chicken and you cook it in a pan.
Then you make some rice and then you put it in that pan.
Then you add some frozen corn, shredded cheese after the corn Chai-Chi Raikou Chai Raikou Chai-Chi
Is a fave of mine
Chai-Chi
Sometimes you can substitute
The corn for green beans
Yeah
Oh
Yeah Oh, you know oh wow yeah hey you know that really like
i it really made me think like as a songwriter i gotta up my game with lyrics and stuff because
i really wouldn't have thought you don't hear a lot of songs in Sriracha for their main hook that use the last two syllables of a word.
That's what her whole arrangement thing was.
And I said, I'm glad you guys like it.
Because I said, Debbie, this is nuts.
And it sounds like I'm saying chai tea.
And she said, darling, darling, they'll get it, darling.
I said, what are you talking about?
Okay, I don't know this.
Chai tea.
So yeah, we threw that together. We're going to try to get it out to people to play at this okay i don't know this so yeah we threw that together
we're gonna try to get it out to people to play at restaurants i don't know yeah i can imagine
you're at a restaurant there's no music playing and then at one point of the night they say
uh i would like to draw your attention to the speakers we're gonna play one song or or just
get it that should maybe be a trend where restaurants are like they have songs
playing of what's in the meals that you can order sure totally totally yeah because i i was recently
having um like some veal marsala at a restaurant and like the song that was playing had literally
nothing to do with wow really the song was like like, surfing turf, surfing turf.
Yeah, they were blasting that.
That's it.
That's Raiko Chai Chi,
the way I see it. I mean, it's really good.
I'm really impressed.
And I think it's cool
to see you collaborating
with other people.
I see you work with me
and Jeff a lot.
You do a great work,
but I'm really impressed
with how when you could just like
reach out to an old punk legend
and crack the case.
Well, it's exciting.
And look, I love working with you guys.
We know each other back and forth.
The shorthand is right there.
Do you have that with Debbie now?
Like,
no,
no,
no,
not at all.
Not at all.
But what I'm saying is,
and this is not a slight against you guys.
It's just very interesting to work with someone new and just,
Oh,
this is their process.
All right.
I don't like it,
but I'll give it a whirl here.
Right.
Right.
Uh, thanks for your time. I'm going to go back to where I'm a little more, but I'll give it a whirl here. Right, right.
Thanks for your time.
I'm going to go back to where I'm a little more comfortable.
Yeah, I would have never thought of chai chi.
Chai chi.
Still really cool.
But here's the thing, Mike. It might not be like exactly what you want it to be, or maybe it is.
I don't know.
But it helps get the word out.
Yes.
The important thing is that more people are hearing about and getting excited about Raikou
Chai Chi.
Yeah.
Because, I mean, it's been sort of like tragically flying under the radar and you just don't
want to see another generation come and go.
Right.
And quite frankly, pass away.
I mean, we recently lost Prince Philip.
We did.
We lost him.
You don't want people to just not have this dish um and i i want to say this to
the patrons here first of all we love you second of all make your own raikou chai cheese send us
pics and shit i don't know let us know what you think here mike can i help you on a pr you know
i'm kind of an adman don you'reper guy. You're great at that, yeah.
Here's the market I think you can do.
That this is like the more party version of paella.
Like, hey, you've had paella, but it's time to make your paella party.
Yeah.
How does your paella party?
Yeah.
And for those people, those idiots, frankly, who don't know what paella is, what is it exactly?
Oh, those scum of the earth.
It's another ricey dish.
It's like, you know, with chunks of things in rice.
It's got mussels in it, I think.
Yeah, there's some, it could be sort of seafood-y. It's got mussels, it's got chicken, it's got sausage, but it's a rice-based dish.
It's almost like a gumbo.
Gumbo. it's got the sausage but it's a rice based dish that's almost like a gumbo gumbo but it doesn't have a party vibe and i feel like this could be more social more people come together over there's
a commercial where like there's a couple on a first date and they're nervous but then the
raiko chai chi comes out and next thing you know they're on the table making out
oh wow i think a good a very seamless, very understandable tagline,
sort of, what's the ad phrase?
What do they call that?
Ad phrase, yeah.
Ad phrase.
Could be, you know, Raiko Chai Chi, you know, the paella of the parties.
Yeah.
You've got two very recognizable words, Raiko Chai Chi and paella,
that everyone talks about all the time.
It's really good.
And, Mike, also, I'd even throw in the the middle there when you kind of tossed up, you know,
I think that should be part of it.
Raiko Chai Chi, you know, it's the Paella of the party.
Hey, that's good.
Raiko Chai Chi, you know, it's the Paella of the parties.
There it is.
Now, Mike, like I know we're throwing around a lot of ideas, but have you considered something
as direct as let's write go chai chi
oh hey it's working for the uh the clars the white claws the white claws yeah and it's working for
you know a lot of people actually most brands do that they turn they take the product and they turn
it into a verb and they're like we all do it yeah yeah or we could do like a right coach wait right
coach what if you have all these different people,
different types of people from different walks of life,
and they're turning to the camera, and they're like,
I'm a chi, I'm a cha.
Oh, yeah.
Like me, I'm a rai.
And then you are like, I'm an OG co.
And then you all get together at the end.
Yeah.
Oh, that's fun.
Everybody's got their favorite part.
But the symphony of it all, the harmony of it all is just like we're all a little bit of Raikou chai cheese.
Or what if it's just the commercial is you take the ingredients, the rice, corn, chicken, and cheese.
We're in an airplane.
A guy throws it out of the airplane and somebody on the ground catches it in
a bowl something simple like that that's simple let's stick with that because i don't want to
deal with all the other shit we were talking that's so easy and it's like and then the tagline
is like raiko chaichi as if it fell out of the sky or yeah one one pitch if if the guy turns
the camera and he's like raiko chaichi it changed altitudes just now just now and the guy turns the camera and he's like, Raiko Chai Chi, it changed altitudes just now.
Just now.
And the guy in the yard, he's out there with a big bowl
because he wanted, he was thinking maybe I would catch some bird shit.
Yeah.
Because he ran out of white paint.
Yeah.
But then he gets the Raiko Chai Chi and he likes it more.
Yeah.
Right. He was painting uh he
had a nickel that he wanted to paint white and this is all leading into the he wanted to paint
it white and he was like oh shit i gotta get some bird shit to paint this nickel because it's right
he doesn't need much paint and he's not going to go to the store and buy a whole can of paint
and then the ad phrase is bird shit well you know this know, this is better. Yeah.
Raiko Chai Chi,
better than the bird shit
you would use to paint a nickel.
Yes.
Something like that.
Relatable stuff.
Something like that.
That's pretty good.
It's pretty good.
Well.
We love having you.
We love having you
in these little blowouts.
They're fun.
The Patrons
know what's going on
and we
thank you for joining us
and
if you
get
the mood strikes you
this sloppy spring
and you want to make
the paella
the parties
whip up some
Raikou Chai Chi
post it
hashtag
better than bird shit
and
you know
we'll check it out
post it and host it
if you're hosting a party when things open up
serve this oh yeah let us know
how that goes yeah let us know
how it's all going everybody on the Patron
side yeah just
check in with us now Jeff did you have a quiz
thanks for asking
Michael no I do not
and that's the show
we're gonna ramp it up here.
Thanks, everyone.
We'll see you next week.
Bye, everyone.
Later.