The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Bill Hader (Re-Release)

Episode Date: January 3, 2025

Bill Hader joins Andy Richter to talk about going from behind the camera to in front of it, thinking everyone is mad at you, and more. This episode originally aired in February 2021. Do you want to talk to Andy live on SiriusXM’s Conan O’Brien Radio? Leave a voicemail at 855-266-2604 or fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER. Listen to "The Andy Richter Call-In Show" every Wednesday at 1pm Pacific on SiriusXM's Conan O'Brien Channel.

Hey everybody, welcome back to The Three Questions. I'm your host Andy Richter. We are off for the holidays. So today I am resharing my conversation with the great Bill Hader. Bill and I spoke back in 2021. He's one of my favorite people to talk to. So here as my Christmas present to you is my conversation with Bill Hader. Enjoy. Hi everyone. You have tuned in to what is probably going to be a really dull episode of The Three Questions. Because I got a real turd on today. This guy hides in impressions because there's really nothing to him. He's an empty vessel.

And if he's not doing a funny voice, he's basically staring at a wall. That's right. It's Bill Hader, everyone. Hi, Bill. Hi, Andy. I like to introduce my guests to make them feel good. So I hope that made you feel good. Yeah, made me feel great.

Made me feel very, very seen. Now, how are you? We're talking on a Saturday, because you're so big, are you shooting your show right now? Are you shooting Barry? Yeah, we're shooting Barry right now. We have about two and a half more weeks of shooting. Yeah, how is it?

It's been going good, yeah. But we've been shooting since July and prepping since April, so. Is it one of those. It's been a whirlwind. One of those productions where everyone's worked 14 hours a day and fed only granola bars and- No, no, no.

I feel very happy that we're... Because I was a production assistant, so I've been on those shows where you work for like 18 hour days and stuff and it stinks. So, yeah. Gavin Kleintop and Ida Rogers and Alec Berg and I, we're all very, we all started at the bottom in some place, so we're all very conscientious and try to make it like, if we go anything over a 10 hour day, we're, we kind of freak out. It makes a huge difference.

It makes a huge difference for people. Cause I know I was, I went to film school, I was a productionist, that you and I had very similar beginnings in show business in that way, except you actually were in LA doing it and I was in Chicago doing it. Yeah, yeah.

So mine was like kind of, I mean, like my celebrities were like Mike Ditka and Michael Jordan. That's the celebrities I worked with. I mean, that's pretty cool. It was pretty rad. It was pretty cool, yeah. That's who I, that's the celebrities I work with. I mean, that's pretty cool. I mean, that's pretty rad. It was pretty cool. Yeah. That's pretty rad.

But, but it is, I do feel I will, you know, through I have worked with, and I meet people who are my friends, who when you have to wait for four hours for some adjustment to be made, and I have very short tempered friends who have been like, what the fuck is taking so long? And I always feel like, well, you wouldn't know, would you?

You have no clue. No, you wouldn't know. Yeah. And it's, and you know, yeah, you don't know what everyone's been through and how everyone's so tired. And when, you know, we started out this week having to be at a location at 4 a.m. because we're shooting The Sun coming up.

And then by the end of the week, you're shooting a night scene outside, so you have to get over to nights. And we try not to shoot full nights, we try to make it split, which means you show up at noon and shoot until midnight, so you do some day work, some night work.

But I've done those shows. I'm gonna be in a PA on a movie where we did two months of straight nights. And that just, it makes you insane. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, when I was a PA, I remember, I think there was one time when I worked 36 hours straight because of picking up gear, taking it to a location,

prepping another location, wrapping out, you know, shooting all night, wrapping out the location and returning all the gear. And it's, and it is like a lot of what's going on now. It's funny because it's like, you don't really, at least I feel like throughout, like a lot of kind of the evolution of the last 15, 20 years of kind of just politically aware,

like learning not to say certain words. And you know where you're like, oh yeah, right. I've been saying that word thoughtlessly my whole life. But oh, yeah, I can see how that would be a problem. Oh, 100%. Yeah, I feel like lately. With all the kind of talk about the the IATSE strike and stuff. It has made me think like, Oh, yeah, film productions really fucked up. But yeah, it is really do play on this notion

that you're lucky to be here, you wanted this so bad and you know how rare it is to score a job in this industry. So shut up and do it, you know? Yeah, it's very easy and I've been on those shows and I've had friends who've been on those shows where you could be at the mercy of a, whether it's a producer who, you know, or a production company that's gonna work really cheap

and kind of do what you're describing, which is, we're gonna cut costs and cut a lot of corners and do what should be probably two months of work in three weeks, you know, cause it'll save us a bunch of money, or something, or you're at the mercy of a director who, you know, needs their time and works 18, 19 hour days. And I've done that as a PA and as an actor. Yeah.

And the funny thing is, in my opinion, I go watch those movies and I'll go watch something that I know was shot reasonable and I see no real difference. There's never a time I go see one of those movies where you go hard and how long the hours were and I go, well, you know what, it really shows. It's just, you're at the whim of someone's process.

And I just think that's, you know, give them more, if they need more time, then they need to spend the money to add more shooting days. I think working anything over 10 hours to me, you just start getting good work done after a moment. Everything stops working. I've always operated on the principle that, especially if you're doing comedy,

regardless of what ends up on film, if it's a group of miserable fucking people who don't wanna be there, odds are it's not gonna be very funny. You know what I mean? There is kind of an alchemy, there's kind of a magic that needs to transfer from the fun of people making it

to the fun of people watching it. Yeah. Yeah, even like you hear like, and look, I love some of Stanley Kubrick's movies, but I remember being a film, I'm still a film geek, but in my 20s, there's really a romanticized version of these directors and you would hear, Stanley Kubrick did 150 takes of Shelley DeVaul and Jack Nicholson on the stairs.

Stairs, yep. And the Shining, you know, I'm going to bash your brains in that scene because he wanted to get Shelley DeVaul to this real sense of hysteria and all this. And yeah, we thought that was so cool and that was being an artist and why it was so great. And then you start doing this as a job. And I've now, you know, I've been in horror movies, I've been in dramas, comedies, everything.

And I've seen people do, and I've seen Shelley DeVaul in other movies do just that. And I've seen people do, and I've seen Shelley DeVille in other movies, do just that, and I bet that was five takes. It's called acting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. That's not Kubrick, that's his ego. That's his, I need that process, that's all about ego and stuff.

And I just, yeah, when people, it's bad when people, you start hearing about their process, and you know more about the process, or remember the process more than the work. Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah. And so, in acting, directing, writing, you always hear that stuff, so, it is funny, but that said, I mean,

I watched The Shining with my oldest daughter not too long ago, and I still enjoyed it. But I was like, I just don't want to be on that set. Yeah, I mean, I think that, you know, like you said, on take 10, I bet Shelly Duvall, it wouldn't have affected our enjoyment of that movie. I think she would know mine and We would not we would not have that knowledge in our mind of like the fucking psychic karmic damage That that caused especially like to Shelley Duvall who basically kind of got ruined for filmmaking from that movie I mean are you yeah?

Yeah, I just don't understand the as I get older and as you start doing it, you'll see a great actor do something very similar like that. And Shelley DeVau, those Robert Altman movies, I mean, Three Women, I mean, I'm a great, great actor. And so I never really, to me that was more like, again, it's like ego and stuff. Well, the idea that you hire a capable,

known quantity, professional person, and then decide in your mind, this person needs to be manipulated and controlled and treated like a child, that's fucked up. Yeah, that's your shit. That's your shit that you're dealing with. And he didn't do it to Jack Nicholson. No.

But you hear the other films, he tortured Malcolm McDowell on Clockwork Orange, and the scene where he has his eyes open, apparently he cut his eye. he has his eyes open apparently Yeah, yeah, his I really fucked his eyes and and Kubrick said will favor the other eye apparently When they're shooting it and and you go, okay, that's nice But it I've gotten to a place where you hear those things and I go. Oh that doesn't affect My enjoyment of the movies.

You know, I still enjoy those movies, but I just wouldn't want to work on them. And, you know, you just don't need to like a lot of people don't like eyes wide shot actually enjoy that movie. But I, but when you hear like, oh yeah, they'd shot Tom Cruise entering a door for two weeks. Um, I, that's I really, that's silly. Oh, that's silly. Oh my God, I can't even imagine.

I didn't know how to do it. Why did you wanna get into show business? What do you think was it about, I mean, just a quick synopsis of your childhood, like where you're from and what your family dynamic was and how show business came out of that. I'm from Tulsa, Oklahoma. Pretty, you know, average childhood.

I had two younger sisters. My dad was, he ran a restaurant when I was really young and then drove a truck for a bit and then he ended up managing an air freight company. And then my mom was a dance teacher and things like that. So, I mean, but show business for me was, it was completely unattainable. Like the idea of being involved in any way

in show business was like saying you wanna go to Mars or colonize Mars or something. It was just like this other thing. So. Something that people like you don't get to do. No, no. You didn't know anybody who did it. You've never met anybody who did it.

I remember the first celebrity I ever saw was we took a family trip to Hawaii and I saw John Larroquette by a pool. And I just went, oh my God, that's the guy from Night Court, just seeing a person who I had seen on television, that feeling where you go, oh my God. But for me it was always liking comedy, but liking all movies, loving old films, and from a very young age,

wanting to be a director, noticing the name, the director in the credits, and seeing how each of them had a style, and noticing that from a pretty young age. So very quickly, when I was still in high school, I would go to places where they shot commercials in Tulsa just to see how they did it and try to help out in any way. And then... Like what age?

And then, like 15. Oh wow. Something like that, 15, 16. And then, and I helped out in a couple, like, I think I worked on this one thing, you know, it's like they would shoot Philbrook Museum, you know, and they would bring in like a little EPK crew

and I was grabbing, you know, charging up batteries and grabbing everybody lunch and stuff like that. But I was around people shooting stuff, you know, I just thought it was so cool. And then, and then made little films with my sisters and friends, one of whom is a guy named Duffy Boudreaux, who I've known since I was 15. And now he is a writer on Barry and producer on Barry, we've been really close and now collaborate. And that's been nice. But then I moved to Arizona for no reason.

I don't know why. I literally just. Most of the people there. Just happens. Yeah, yeah. They don't know why they're there. What? Scott's still.

I know Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel laughed so hard that I went out of state to go to community college. I did, I went out of state to go to Scottsdale Community College. But why? What was it about that community college? You know what it was? No, it was, my grades were horrible in high school. And so I got, the only thing I could really go to that was film was a thing called the Art Institute of Phoenix. And they had Art Institutes everywhere.

So I went to the one in Phoenix, because I was like, well, it's closest to LA. Yeah, yeah. And they didn't care about grades. So I went there, and then a friend of mine there said, hey, I'm actually taking classes at Scottsdale Community College, and they're shooting film.

They had all these Aerie BLs, and they had flatbeds, and they also had a couple of avids and this is like 1997 yeah, so that was like really cool and high-tech and there's before it was back when video looked like video. Yeah, and So yeah, I went up there and I shot some short films met some friends I'm still friends with today and we we moved out to LA June of 1999. And how much of this, what component of this drive to do this and this desire to do this is being a performer or is it factoring in that much at all?

Not, no, it was never about being a performer. Being a performer came about very, kind of by accident. I mean, I was in a couple of plays in high school, but that was mostly because my high school girlfriend was in the plays and it was a way for us to hang out with each other. And then I started, I took classes at Second City LA. And then I started, I took classes at Second City LA.

This was before UCB or any, it was Second City LA and- The groundlings. And the groundlings, which had a wait list for like a year. Yeah, yeah. Just to take classes there. And then IO, which is on Hollywood. And then, and so, yeah, I went to classes there, did shows and things like that, and it was solely as a way.

To shore up your directing? I'm sorry, I didn't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, yeah, it was solely just to be like, oh, meet some actors here and we'll make short films and stuff like that, and then. Get laid. Yeah, no. It was laid. Yeah, no. I was like, no, no.

I was like, hi everyone. No, I've always had a girlfriend, so it was always like, I'm gonna meet actors and make stuff. And then it became more about, why don't you be in the stuff? No offense, Bill, but you're, you know, we'd rather you were in it instead of shooting it. And then, and then, and then I got really lucky.

Megan Mullally saw me at a show and said, you're really funny, I'm gonna tell Laura Michaels about you. And that's, I mean, I was, I was working as an assistant editor on Iron Chef America. And Lindsay Schuch has called me and said, well, Laura Michaels would like to meet you. And I had no manager, no agent, no,

it's the story that like, the actor. It had never been paid to perform. Never been paid to perform. Wow. And that's why, I'm the story that is why actors hate me. There's other reasons. It's not just your origin story.

Yeah, they hate you for so many. I mean, look at you. Can't you tell my love's a-growing? So then I met Lauren and auditioned, and then through that got a manager and agent and stuff and then... Wow. Yeah, I had a friend who went to Africa for like a couple of months and when he left I was an assistant editor and when he came back I was like, oh I'm moving to New York, I'm

on Centerline. He was like, oh, I'm moving to New York. I'm on Star Night Live. He was like, what? Wow. You should pay that guy to go to Africa every few years. I know, I know. God, it worked out great. You'll win an Oscar. I, what the thing was though,

when I got to Star Night Live, I ended up working with these people that had much more experience than I did. And writing sketch comedy still was never like something that I was very good at. I think I was good at being in the room and saying, oh, I could do this or do that. But I very much needed writers, you know?

Whereas like the crew I came in with, Andy and Sudeikis and Kristen and Colin Jost and the Lonely Island guys, Brian Tucker, all these people were all really solid writers. They could write their stuff. Fred could write stuff. Fred Armisen could write his own stuff. And I don't know if I ever turned my,

I don't know if I ever turned my, I don't know if I ever opened the program to write the scripts on my computer. You know? It was always John Mulaney or Simon Rich or someone like that, you know, Matt Murray, you know, America Sawyer, you know, people like that. I need help. I was the same way on the Conan Show

where like whenever I wrote something, because I would sit in, you know, people like that. I need to know. I was the same way on the Conan show where like whenever I wrote something, because I would sit in and you know, most of my writing on that thing was just being there and going like this needs a new ending, what if we did this and then, you know, like saying it and someone else would write it down, you know. Well I remember, and this is,

I remember watching a documentary on the kids in the hall and there's a thing where they did a bit on Conan where, and they were trying to figure out, and you're in there and you go, oh, you know what could happen? And it was them getting like beaten up or something on Conan or someone coming in. They have a fake baby doll

and they toss the baby to security. Yeah, yeah, they tossed baby to security. But I remember Kevin MacDonald getting hit in the back of the legs and falling. But it was so cool for me to see that going, oh yeah, that's how it is. Just like, you know, you're just, it really is like, it's no different than my friends

when we were around the lunch, but we were eating lunch at the cafeteria in high school. I mean, it's the same kind of fucking around and trying to get out of your head. That was the bigger thing. At SNL, it was like, okay, Tuesday night, you have to write something. And it took me forever to just get out of my head

and relax, because that's when the good stuff comes, but when you're like, all right, I have to have something. It always came out very forced and shitty for a long time. I mean, I was very, oh, Rob Klein and John Solomon are two writers that my last season just, I mean, those guys, they wrote this ventriloquist this puppet sketch about a guy in a puppet class and they wrote this other sketch where I was this very kind of a feminine firefighter who's screaming at somebody and there's sketches that people still come up

and talk to me about and I'm like that is that's those are, I mean, it was just John and Rob being like, we wanna see Bill do this. Yeah, yeah. Do this. Yeah, yeah. But so much of that takes time. You have to kind of get, everybody has to know each other. I mean, I was there for eight years by that point, you know?

But yeah, when I came in, I just remember going to UCB and watching AsCAD or something and seeing all those people up there performing and just doing improv and was like, oh my God. I am, someone's gonna tap me on the shoulder and be like, what are you doing here, man? Yeah. Went, were you like, were you funny in your house?

I mean, how did, how did your family react when it's like, wait, what? Like they knew you wanted to be in production. A filmmaker. Yeah, but they didn't know. I mean, were they surprised or were they like, oh no, he's always been pretty funny and it makes sense. Yeah, yeah, I think they were like,

yeah, I've always been pretty funny. You know, I've always been like a combination of like, funny and like amiable and then, but also another side of me is very kind of shy and hyper, you know, stressed out. Yeah, yeah. And so I think they were, I think it was a combination of like, oh, that makes sense.

That's like live television isn't the worst environment for him. Like he's gonna be, he's gonna be a basket case. You know? I mean, I'm sure that you figured out after a while, it is like most performers are like a hilarious combination of need it, hate it.

Yeah. Like, need it and then also like I'm terrified by it. Yeah, like, yeah, like, you need it. And then also, like, I'm terrified by it. And, you know, I can't stand rejection, but I'm going into the most rejection filled eclair of a business I can find. Yeah. Yeah. It for me, it was for me, it was a thing of like, the charge I got was creating a thing

and seeing it to fruition. But because I was this movie fan, it had to have the precision of that. That's what I enjoyed. And I think especially stand-ups and sketch. I mean, what's fun about it is it kind of having a shaky landing or being loose and strange and this part worked and this part didn't work and, and, and having that confidence of moving with that.

I would just rehearse something to with an inch of his, of his life just because I just, it had to land it perfectly. And that, and that caused a lot of stress. I was never someone that was like, oh man, I need that audience thing, that audience approval. It was more like I needed to be able to have an idea and land it perfectly, and if it was 99% perfect, I would lose my mind.

I would just be like, I failed. You know? You're talking about in SNL. At SNL, yes, at SNL. And that by season four, that was when Lauren Michaels pulled me aside and said, you can work here as long as you want. You really need to relax. You know?

You're just really keyed up. And then I've now seen other people, now that I run a show, like I've seen people in the same position, whether it's an actor or someone on the crew or whatever, and I'm like, oh, I know that, I see that, where you're putting a ton of pressure on yourself. And I'll say, It doesn't help.

It doesn't help, and I'll say, dude, I've been there. You just gotta breathe and accept that it's never gonna be perfect. And now the irony is that, I think some people, oh, now you're directing stuff. It's gonna have this, you know, that OCD thing or whatever the hell it was. And I don't because SNL knocked that out of me.

Oh, that's great. That's really it. Yeah, I'm much more relaxed of like, okay, now that's a different thing. Yeah, right, right, right. You know, it was great for me in that case of relaxing. And the biggest thing SNL taught me was how to make, have a clear idea and make very clear, you know, decisive decisions and sticking to it because you just didn't have time.

Does that, yeah, I mean, yeah, that's, I always said the Conan show was laying tracks for a train that you could hear coming, you know, like you don't have time, you don't have time to worry like, is this great or not? And I mean, and there were people like Robert, Robert Smigel is it like, an amazing perfectionist and would be literally sometimes an amazing perfectionist and would be literally sometimes editing, still doing editing tweaks on the piece as the band is playing the fucking intro music and they would feed it into the show from the edit bay. They couldn't even get it to the control room.

And that was, I mean, to me even in my, cause I learned so much from him, that seemed to me like, I don't feel like that's probably efficient, you know, in my, because I learned so much from him, that seemed to me like, I don't feel like that's probably efficient, you know? Yeah. I feel like that has a diminishing return, you know? Yeah, we would have writers like that at SNL. Or one writer, I was playing Charlie Sheen

when he had his kind of like meltdown during the whole Tiger Blood thing. And it was a cold open and I was so anxious. I was like shaking and oh my gosh, cold open. Initially it was just a sketch and now it's a cold open. And it was like, all right, here we go. One minute, 30 seconds. Everybody's getting quiet.

20 seconds, 10 seconds, and the writer walked up to me and goes, do you want to do the tiger blood joke or should we not do it? Oh. And I just went, I go, get away from me. He goes, I could still cut it, it's in the last half of the sketch. And I was like, get away from me, get away from me.

I'm going to attack you. I'm about to, you can't away from me. I'm gonna attack you. Yeah, yeah. I'm about to like, you can't ask me that. I'm radioactive. I'm radioactive because, you know, in their mind it was like, well, we can always shift this around. I'm like, ooh. Not now.

Not now, we're done. Do you think that that sort of acceptance of the imperfection of things and possibly the imperfection of things being the desired outcome. Did that bleed over into your personal life too or is that just like, like do you feel that that experience helped you kind of accept life? to accept life? Yeah, you know, it's a thing that happens where you, you know, when you're younger, I mean, it's kind of a thing everybody talks about,

but it's true, and then it's really annoying when it's true is that you are a bit more, like I was saying, especially when you're saying about this Kubrick stuff, is you romanticize stuff and you're very kind of idealist. And then as you romanticize stuff and you're very kind of idealist. And then as you get older, life gets very much more complicated and then you realize stuff about yourself that you didn't know and you realize how much, you know, something you thought you weren't, you are, you know, or whether it's I'm not a, I don't know,

like I never really considered myself an anxious person. I just thought I was pretty laid back, you know? And it wasn't until, you know, someone's, I think you need to go to a therapist because I think you have an anxiety disorder, you know what I mean, that you're kind of going, no, I don't, like, what, what do you mean? I just haven't slept for three days

because I have to do a live show, you know, or whatever it is. And where I remember having, feeling like I had the flu and I would go, oh my God, I have the flu, I don't know what's going on. I went to a doctor and they were like, that's anxiety. It's like it knocks your equilibrium off and all this. So it's like, yeah, life gets a little bit more interesting,

your relationships. I think it's just trying to live a more honest life and you are kind of more accepting, like you're saying, of, it's weird, it's this weird combination of being more accepting of people, but then at the same time, having less time for other people. We're just like, that's bullshit, I just don't. Where I used to be like, oh, meaning like, you know, in my 20s and 30s,

you would get into spirited arguments about stuff, and now I just don't have the time or the inclination for it, where I'm just kind of like, I'm never gonna change your mind, you're never gonna change my mind, I can't get involved in this. I just kinda go, oh, okay, that's how you are. I don't wanna have a heart attack.

This just makes me feel tired, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I just get tired. But then at the same time, you know, I have children and it's like, I want them to have better tools than I had. You know, I worked on it, but I could be very defensive and, had it, I worked on it, but I could be very defensive, or not hearing people, immediately assuming something.

I can get into a thought cycle, and then you have to go, is that really what even happened? You know what I mean? Or is my anxiety and freaking out about it, now this person slighted me in this way and blah, blah, blah, and then it takes someone else to go, that didn't happen to me. Yeah, that's not what I saw.

That's not what I saw at all. And you're like, oh my God, okay, I need to just breathe and listen and calm the fuck down, you know? And I'm like, oh my God, okay, I need to just breathe and listen and calm the fuck down, you know? ["Can't You Tell My Love's A-Growin'?" by The Cops plays.] Now, I mean, and then to kind of book in the other question, do you think that the coping mechanisms that you found in your personal life

then help you in your professional life? Like that these kind of, like that, you know, helping you sort of create a more whole calmer life also makes you create a more, a whole calmer, more elevated work. Well, what it does, at least for me, was the more I, you know, whether was like for me therapy, you know, I take medication, I do, I do, uh, uh, meditation, I do ayahuasca, I was meditation. I do ayahuasca. I sacrifice various animals. Yeah, I

steal things out of neighbors yards And I put in other neighbors yards. I like to I like to pull the thread of society now Yeah, but no I I do TM. I meditate all these things that kind of like, it's just acknowledging like, oh, this thing that is a part of your personality is kind of like hurting you. Which is weirdly what Barry's about. It's a thing that you kind of feel like,

oh, this is a natural part of me that's also hurting me. Yeah. But in doing that, you can like, I could concentrate more on the work and I'm much more clearer with what I'm trying to do and accepting what happens and then therefore, I'm much more confident.

Cause you know, it's not as people, as the world, as politics, all these other things, it's not as people, as the world, as politics, all these other things. It's all imperfect. And at the end of the day, it doesn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense. So you should kind of be able to do whatever you want. this episode of Barry or this relationship with this person or whatever is gonna be this, but now it's this. Do I like that or not? You know? Or how can I, you know, I'm gonna move on, you know, and just move forward and not taking it in this personal way, which

is hard. And it's a thing, it's the same thing like they've, you know, it's like a, it's like a, you know, I learned like the thing with anxiety and depression and these sorts of things. It's a thing that comes, but it also goes, and it's a thing you're always like dealing with. Yeah. Yeah, so it's like the biggest thing that helped me with that stuff was and how it helped in the work was Acknowledging that and knowing that When you fight it you make it worse So it's like kind of like this weird acceptance. That's like, uh

so whether it is Like you're saying like interpersonal relationships or work or whatever and something goes horribly wrong or something you're freaking out about, the minute you try to fight it, it becomes stronger. But when you just kind of, there's a Buddhist thing of like, you take the narrative out of it, which I like.

So I'm so stressed out because This person I found out this person lied to me So I'm angry and stressed and so if you just take out the narrative and go I'm angry and stressed and Then you just kind of sit with that it kind of will dissipate Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? And like I use that in work and in life, you know? But I don't, but again, I don't want it to sound too like

like this really hardcore lifestyle thing. It's a thing that's like free flowing, you know? Some situations you don't do it in and you go, oh fuck, I gotta go, you know? Everything is like, you know, And you make mistakes and you fall back and you realize, oh shit, I'm doing that thing that I've told myself for literally decades. Don't do that. You know? Yeah. I mean, I find myself doing that.

We're like, I got all this, all these fucking rules I've made and they're not even like necessary rules. I mean, that sounds kind of too strict, but just like, okay, you know, you've learned a lot to avoid these kinds of situations and to avoid doing this. And then I'll be like, oh shit, I just fucking did it. And, you know, whether it's like allowing somebody

to take advantage of me or allow me to feel powerless or something, it's, you can't, I mean, one thing I've been working on a lot, a lot lately is talking nice to myself. a lot lately is, uh, is talking nice to myself. Yeah. After a lifetime of being you stupid fat fucking idiot, why don't you fucking, you know, stop doing these things and realizing,

I mean, I said it to somebody on this podcast not long ago. It's some, if somebody wants me to do something, if they they talk kindly to me, I'll do it. If they talk mean and shitty to me, I'll say, fuck you, motherfucker, I'm not gonna do that. So I was trapped in a cycle of that, of being like my own bad boss. That then I'd be like, oh right, I know I should be more efficient and productive,

but fuck you, buddy, the way you talk to me, I'm not doing a thing, I know I should be more efficient and productive, but fuck you buddy, the way you talk to me, I'm not doing a thing, you know? Yeah, it's true. It's funny, it's funny just like the dynamics you have with people, because then it's like, you know, it's like some of my closest friends and the people you know for a while, the ones you can be brutally honest with in a fun way,

and you can be, you can be hard on each other, but it all comes out of love. And then there's other people I've known forever, and there's no way in hell you could do that, because they're too sensitive. And then there's people that they can do that to me, and I'm not sensitive, but then another person will do it to me, who I've known the same amount of time,

and I'm way too sensitive, where I'm like, well, what does that mean? Wait, did I do, wait, what did I do wrong? You know, I have a friend that's, their impression of me is always going, wait, what, wait, what did I do? Wait, wait, are you mad? Wait, are you mad at me?

Like, I jump to, wait, did I do something wrong? Are you mad? Like, so fast. But, but you know and and then yeah you just it's a Is that born in here or do you think that comes from somewhere? I? Don't know man. I Yeah, it might be I mean it's funny thing. It's like when you go back home. You see it Not just in family, but just where you're from. I mean, people in Oklahoma are very like,

you know, it's like the minute you get off the airplane, it's just someone going, sorry, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just the minute you exit the airplane. It's just very nice. Non-confrontational, yeah. Don't wanna rock the boat, non-confrontational, but you know, they're still mad.

It's still that Midwestern passive aggressive thing. But you just try to, it's weird. It's like everything, the things you used to get really riled up about, I don't anymore. I kinda go, oh, it doesn't really matter. But now there's these newer things that get you more riled up about.

And then hopefully, 10 years from now, I'll be like, ah, that was so weird. I got mad about that shit. Now I have this new shit that I'm mad about. You know what I mean? So it's like, it's always something. Rinse and repeat until you're in the grave. Yeah, yeah, next stop death.

Yeah. Next stop death. Well, speaking of the future, death, what are you most excited about in your future? I mean, what do you got coming forward that you're like planning for? And I mean, you know, long-term doesn't have to be work. Oh, I don't know.

I've gotten to this place when, you know, as a young person, always wanting to be a director and a writer. And then this circuitous, really amazing, going through performing SNL movies and learning so much along the way to now where I'm able to do it with Barry, it is this nice feeling of trusting your instincts and then, and I mean in an actual way, it's like hopefully being able to make a movie, maybe one that I'm not even in,

you know, just making a movie. But also just, you know, for the future, it's kind of what we're talking about is knowing yourself, understanding all the bad shit and the good shit of yourself and just acknowledging it and saying like, okay, look, I could, in this situation, I can be very sensitive. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah. So I'm gonna calm down. Or in this sense, I can be very defensive and I'm, you know what, I acknowledge that. So let's just be aware of it. I'm not gonna change necessarily. I could just be very hyper aware of it. Or I can get very anxious in a situation of whatever.

And so it's just knowing yourself and knowing, I could be directing an episode of Barry that is like, we doing stunts and there's all this stuff going on and I'm totally calm. and there's all this stuff going on and I'm totally calm. But then I have to go to the airport by myself, you know? I'm a wreck. The idea of missing a flight to me makes me completely insane.

I'm one of those people, I'm there like two hours ahead of time. I don't care when they like, hey, the flight's been delayed an hour. I'm like, great, I'm here. You know, I'm just, you know, it used to be a thing that people would say and you, I don't do that, you know, you get grumpy and it's like no I am that guy. I'm Oh, I'm a pain in the ass. I'm saying like the most You know, whatever

Light-hearted things on the spectrum right? No, I know what you mean. Yeah, but Yeah, it's just acknowledging those that thing about yourself and just saying like well I get like this it used to be like, you know, I'm not like that. Yeah. I'm calm as shit. Look at me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, dude, your face is fully, you're sweating. Well, first time I was on Conan,

I had a full blown panic attack backstage. Really? When I was on Conan, full blown panic attack. Yeah, I was in my dressing room. Mark Lepis was a publicist at SNL and I just couldn't breathe and sweating because I'm like, I've been watching this show since I was 15 and I'm about to be on it

and I'm a second guest and seeing, you know, Conan and you guys saying, the next time we got Bill Hader and it was just like, but you know, come right after this and they come and they're like, alright, let's take you back there, you know. And I just went, hold on, hold on, hold on. Oh my God, you know.

And then after that happened, Mark going, hey, are you okay, man? Is everything okay? I'm like, what do you mean? What are you talking about? What was okay? Yeah, I'm fine. What's wrong with you?

Is something wrong with you? Yeah, fuck you. Yeah, fuck you. Me, you're not me. Fuck you. What do you put it? What's wrong? Are you is I'm wrong with you? Yeah Fuck you. Why me now? I just you just vomit it all over yourself. Like what are you talking about? Yeah, maybe you vomit all over yourself. I bought this shirt like this. Yeah, this is a new shirt asshole. It's all the rage It's called a carrots and peas. It's a new designer line You know this. You know this. But yeah, it is a thing where you can be in denial

about that shit. Yeah. All right. Is that kind of, you know, this podcast, it's the what have you learned. Is that sort of what you think that, you know, you've learned the most of is self-acceptance? Yeah, self-acceptance? Yeah. Self-acceptance, for me personally,

was about anxiety and depression, but mostly anxiety and accepting it and learning to work with it. Everything just be able to breathe easier because you just know it about yourself. Yeah. You know? you go, oh, that's what that is. And just saying that makes it easier. Where before you would blame it on something else or you just wouldn't acknowledge it for some reason.

So yeah, acceptance. And then it's nice too, because then you talk to like a family member and say hi to this and they go, well yeah, I do too man, will you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're related. Right, right.

Well Bill, you're the best. Thank you so much for taking some time for us today. I appreciate it. I know how valuable your time is. And. Thanks man. No, yeah man. Thanks for having me man.

This is awesome. All right. And I'm sure that probably being on this podcast will make a big difference. You're this, the people will probably start watching Barry now. I hope so. Jeez man.

That would be nice. I'm tired of howling into the wilderness. I know, I'm so sick of people going like, like hey are you in a show called Brian? No, if you want it whatever you want whatever you want, what do you want you want Brian George? I'll do whatever you want Sean. I'll call whatever you want. Will you watch? All right, Bill, thank you so much and and let's get together soon. I'll see you soon. Yeah. All right, Bill. Thank you so much. And let's get together soon. I'll see you soon. Yeah. All right, buddy. All right. And thank you all out there for listening.

We'll be back next week with another episode of Los Tres Questiones.