The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Jim Gaffigan

Episode Date: August 20, 2019

Stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan joins Andy Richter to talk about using comedy to survive being the youngest sibling, generational gaps and the importance of civics, his wife Jeannie’s inspiring recovery from a brain tumor, and more. Plus, Jim shares his thoughts on digging into a dramatic role with his his latest film American Dreamer.This episode is sponsored by NHTSA and Linkedin (www.linkedin.com/threequestions).

So, my guest today is... No, my guest. God damn it, don't you do that. This is my show. Andy, come on. All right. Hi, I'm Andy Richter. And I'm Jim Gaffigan, And this is Andy Asked Three Questions.

That is, oh, what a terrible title that would be. Now, if you're unfamiliar with it, Andy, you know, so like we both come from Chicagoland. Yes. But not really Chicago. No. You are from like an ideal where you live is so close to the Indiana Dunes. It's a beautiful place. It is beautiful. Yeah. It is beautiful.

Yeah. It is beautiful. But no one used to live there because it was a steel mill area. Yeah. So it was rust belt. So people used to drive from Chicago to Michigan. Yeah. Indiana was the road to Michigan.

Yeah. But I knew people. I knew like some fancy people that had beautiful homes in the Indiana Dunes. Yeah. You just couldn't spend as much time. And the closer you got to Gary, the least time you wanted to spend on the water. Yeah, that's very racist of you. You had to get a-

Yeah, okay. No, it's very anti-industrial. All right, you don't like black people. Fine. Go ahead. Say it. You're the one that went there. So you're-

I love the Jackson family, and that's where they're from. You know, you played me. You played my brother on my show. I did, on your show. A very similar kind of geographic upbringing you and I had. And we probably, when people want to make fun of us, they both do the same thing. Yeah. They do the same thing for both of us. There's a Midwestern whining.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like John Malkovich is a whiner, too. Yeah, exactly. Although his seems classier, just because he went to Juilliard or wherever the fuck he went. Whereas you and I... I think you went to Southern Illinois, honestly. Did he really?

To Carbondale. It was probably hard to pull off that attitude in Carbondale. I mean, he was probably not as artistic back then. Right, right. Well, yeah, no, hi. Hi, Andy. Hi, Jim. How are you?

I'm good. I'm good. There's lot of midwestern whining between the two of us there certainly is it's a it's a why try kind of there's a lot of uh although you and i both anger you and i are both kind of i think examples of people that one might not think that guy should be in show business. Right. And yet we are both in show business. Yes. And, I mean, bone-crushingly successful. Right.

Both of us. Well, you know, I think of myself as ethnically a tourist. I look like a tourist, and people treat me like a tourist. Yeah, right. No matter where you are, yeah. Yeah, I've always kind of looked like I'm visiting. Yeah. I'm very white bread but you know

what that's not the end of the world oh no i well what are you gonna do you can't there's nothing yeah you can't crawl out of your own pale skin you know no you can't and i've always i though do feel like as time has gone on at least my attitude about feeling like a hayseed like i can't do any and i also i still because i can i dress like a toddler ased. Like I can't do any, and I also, I still, because I can, I dress like a toddler as much as I can, shorts and a t-shirt. Or I say like Rosie O'Donnell on vacation. That's sort of my wardrobe too. Right.

But I am no longer intimidated going into fancy places being me because fuck those people. Right. And we were born in the wrong era. Right. We were in what. Right. And we were born in the wrong era. Right. We were in what way? I don't know.

I just feel as though the doughy white guy, it peaked maybe 30 years ago. Whoa. Oh, don't worry. We're ruining it. We're still going to ruin the planet. Don't worry. No, we're going to ruin the planet. Yeah, yeah. Oh, we're fucking things up big time still.

Good going, white guys. I mean, most of the senators look like us still. But that's. Some of the female senators look like us. Yeah. But not for that much longer. Right. No, no, no. It's over.

There's a demographic wave coming. Right. That will be able to, you know, like find the non-radioactive places and start encampments there after Whitey has ruined everything. Yeah. There you go. Tell me about your childhood in Chesterton. Tell me about your, you were one of many. I was one, I was the youngest of six.

Of six. Now, were you treated as the baby or were you treated as an afterthought? I was treated, I think I was treated as the baby. Yeah. afterthought i was treated i think i was treated as the baby yeah i i don't have like the fragments of my memory are not like some people do you remember most of your childhood i'm right there with you there is shit i just don't remember i i am not good at that i don't know whether it was a coping mechanism to get over rough times yeah But there's things like my brother talks about with absolute clarity. And I'm like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

And there'll be stories about me that something I did and said and destroyed. And I don't remember that in the slightest. It's so confusing for me because I also, being the youngest, like there's different kind of adjectives that are put in front of people and I've always been kind of resistant to them. But I look at my children because I have five children and I, you know, my youngest, Patrick, looks very much like me. And I look exactly like my father who looked exactly like his father. Like, the genes are very weird. So I look at Patrick, and I sometimes think, am I like that? Was I like that?

Was I as funny and smart? Yeah. And I don't know. Because then, you know, among my siblings, you're not going to get a straight answer from them. No, they're going to bust your balls. Yeah. I mean, even people that I went to college with kind of look at me like, I didn't know you were going to

be a comedian. And I'm like, yeah, well, I was, you know, studying finance. It's hard to be that funny. But so like as a kid, but I know that I'm kind of a combination of a lot of things. Like I was born in Illinois, raised until like the age of eight in Barrington. Barrington, that's a classy, that's a swanky suburb. It was not as swanky then. I'm sure, yeah. Now it's much swankier. It was kind of half rural then. It was half rural.

It was like the, it was a big commute for my dad to chicago yeah and so then we moved to northwest indiana which is like um which is rust belt which is uh working class which was kind of a culture shock uh was he was he still working in chicago taking the train in? No, he started working for a smaller bank in Indiana. In Chesterton, I see. In Northwest Indiana. I see. So, I consider myself very much an Indiana person. And I grew up on, you know, so where Rust Belt meets farmland. Yes. So there were many, you know, I went to parties in trailer parks, and I also went to, you know, parties, you know, where I sat on a bale of hay. You know, again, but even hearing myself say that, you know, I don't want to exaggerate this. You know what I mean? It's like I grew up in the Rust Belt, but I grew up in a nice area.

You know what I mean? And I grew up around farmland, but it's not like I rode a tractor to school. Right, right. I'm in the same situation. And I did occasional farm work because kids could make money. I don't know if it was a thing. You know, you could walk beans. Oh, yeah.

No, Orville Redenbacher, his plant was in Valpo, which was. Yeah, Valparaiso. You know. Yeah. was uh his plant was in valpo which was yeah valparaiso you know and so um but it's interesting because i think of myself uh because you know as a comedian as a writer i'm always looking back and going who am i so like you know i have uh you know i did collect beer cans you know like there's things that are definitely white trash you know like the trash. It was not completely a rural upbringing. The first couple times I went fishing was when the community pool was converted into a pond. They would just dump fish in there.

It usually goes the other way. And we would fish. Wow. So it's like- Was it still meant for swimming too? No, no. It was like in October. Oh, okay. Oh, you mean it would change over seasonally? Yeah. Wow. So it's like. Was it still meant for swimming too? No, no. It was like in October. Oh, okay.

Oh, you mean it would change over seasonally? Yeah. No, like, well, it wasn't. Like in spring it would become the pool again? I don't know how often they did it. You know, I mean, I was in like fourth grade and. That can't be hygienic. No, it's like, you know, you would fish where you used to swim.

Yeah. They would dump fish in there. Yeah, sure. And you would fish them out. I don. Yeah. They would dump fish in there. Yeah, sure. And you would fish them out. I don't know if you could eat them because of the chlorine. Were they catfish or trout or what? I don't remember. All I know is that-

I'm doubting this whole story. It's true. I think it's a fabrication. I was in the newspaper. I was in the newspaper. For what? Because I caught the most fish. Oh, really?

But I didn't catch them. And you don't remember what kind of fish they were? No. I couldn't tell you the difference between any type. I feel like you've gone through your whole life not paying attention. Yeah, I'm really, I wasn't paying attention that much. Yeah. But when I moved to Indiana, to Munster, that's when I was this true outsider.

So that's where I had to develop my sense of humor. Wait, to Munster from Chesterton? No, I moved from Barrington to Munster to Munster oh I but I thought you grew up in Chesterton I did grow up in Chesterton we lived in Munster for a little bit which is and then Chesterton which is closer to farmland yeah and the Indiana dunes right which is very beautiful but beautiful and people are discovering it now. But as I mentioned earlier, it's, you know, the fancy people in Chicago would have a house in Michigan. So they would drive through Indiana. Like pass up to Holland.

Because there were outlets. There were steel mills that, you know, let out supposedly cleaner water than they took in. Yeah. Yeah. And so, but that's, so I grew up the youngest of six kids in a family that my father was the first one to go to college after generations of being in this country. So it was, it was definitely success was associated with wearing a collared shirt. And what, what, like, what did his, I imagine he came from a big family too? He was one of four boys from Springfield, Illinois. Okay. That's a lot of my people are from Springfield.

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. And what did they do there? My grandfather made dentures. Oh, wow. And my, but my uncle, you know, they had different jobs.

One of my uncles also. Just job jobs. No, but like they, but like the story was that my grandparents, like there were a couple of generations of like bar people. Yeah. People that were. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That will work in a factory.

Like supposedly the legend is we came over, we got stuck in steel mills in western pennsylvania and they escaped to steel not steel mills coal mines in western pennsylvania and then they escaped because there were coal mines in springfield there certainly were because a lot of my relatives were were french coal miners that were transplanted into southern illinois because but it was strip mining. Oh, wow. So once the, you know, there was no holes to crawl in. It was just rape the earth until all the coal was gone and then leave it all behind. But I, you know, like I say all this stuff, but I don't know how much some of this is almost kind of.

Half heard and half remembered. Half heard, half how I kind of want to romanticize it. It's, you know, because it's interesting when you, particularly when you do interviews, even like doing stand-up, and it's like the impact of, you know, people on, you know, being from Indiana, and Letterman was from Indiana, so everyone was like, Letterman was your god, and I was like, yeah, I guess he was. Sure, if you want it, me and him. And I started saying it, and he was like yeah i guess he was sure if you want it me and i

started saying it and he he was a huge influence yeah but so was bill murray yeah i mean so like i don't know what you know because then i'd read articles and i'm like i guess that's the truth yeah so i don't know now within the now when within the group of your family yes when i said were you the baby like were you taken care of by, say, your female siblings and sort of looked after by your male siblings? Or were you kind of a bit of a whipping boy? I was a bit of a whipping boy. I was the youngest of six. There were three blondes and three brown-haired kids.

Oh, I bet the blondes were favored. No, no. The blondes and the brown-ired kids oh and it was the blondes were favored no no the blondes and the brown haired would fight so my older sister pam who also has kind of blonde hair right uh well she does have blonde hair would be my protector sorry pam but i had my brother mike who uh now lives in florida who's like a really sweet guy, but having a kid changed him. Yeah. My niece. Because he was a real fucker before, right? He was a monster.

Yeah. He was a really scary dude. And again, I look at my kids and I see my older son, Jack, being me. And I'm like, and I have like PTSD. I'm like, don't do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so. You'll make him a comedian, you know? And so,

but I think in my family, it was very, like, my parents weren't exceptionally funny. My sisters weren't exceptionally funny, but humor was very important to gain favor with my brothers. And so, I was less of a competitor for food if I did my impression of my dad. Yeah. So, it was a lot of that in my family. But it was, I think that my family, my dad aspired, he was very ambitious. He aspired to kind of be fancy but you know it was it was overcompensating so my brother mike the uh the one who tortured me the oldest is he the oldest he's the oldest and the oldest boy like right when he could he bought a pickup truck like he was like we're we're staying white trash we're gone we're gonna're going to stay there. I'll show you, Dan. I'll show you.

And so it's – but I also – what I love about stand-up is I also – you know, you can kind of – I think a lot of comedians have identity crises throughout their lives. But, like, the audience will tell you who you are. So when I started stand-up in New York City, I had no idea how Midwestern and white bread I was. But the audience told me. Like, I thought, oh, you know, growing up in a small town in Indiana, I was like, there was a mistake. I shouldn't be here. I should be in New York.

And then I got to New York, and they were, like, treating me like I was, you know, who I was. Yeah, yeah. Like a hick, yeah. Which is like this Midwestern guy. And you think, oh, I'll be able to pass as just another aspiring. Artist. Yeah, artist here in the big city.

And they won't know. Whereas, you know, you might as well be covered in cow shit. Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. Or, you know, maybe it's hasty, but maybe it's just suburbanite. You know what I mean? It's very kind of a white bread thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is interesting. Like Dockers and golf shirt. Right. Yeah, just the stamp of middle America. Yeah. Nothing exceptional, nothing worth even noticing. And by the way, I would also say that

all I wanted to do was get out of Indiana. And now I'm the biggest champion of it. I'm very defensive of, because I've lived in New York for 30 years, and I feel like there is an overall condescension to the rest of the United States on the coast. I really do believe that. Of course. It's just like every now and then I'll hear my friends say stuff, and I'm like, that is the most obnoxious thing you can say. Although I will say, having lived on coasts for all myself, the parts of this country that are maligned, they ask for it in many, many, many, many ways. Yeah. that are maligned they ask for it in many many many many ways yeah and i mean yes you can go

there and there are artistic people there are sensitive people there are wonderful supportive communities full of open-minded people and then they pick mike pence as their fucking governor so you know what i mean it's like yeah but i would also say that New York City and Los Angeles, it's like, what do you go, 10 miles outside the city? You know what I mean? It's like 10 miles outside of West Hollywood and people are homophobic. Oh, sure. Sure, sure, sure. It's like 10 miles outside of New York City and people are more likely to like Pence than to dislike him.

So it's like there is something of, it's a strange, I don't know, I think it's a strange identity thing. And it is because I'm constantly touring, and I'm in different communities all the time. I think it's less of, you know, and I changed my opinion on this. I think it's less about geography and it's a demographic breakup of wealth. You know, it's like no one wants to discuss the fact that it's inequality. Yeah. A lot of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, that's why I'm running for president. No, I definitely agree with you. And it is, it's wealth,

I'm running for president. No, I definitely agree with you. And it's wealth inequality and it's racism, and they are a two-headed snake. Yeah. And they are the engine of this country and have been forever. And there have been times through extenuating circumstances like World War II and all these young men coming back and our industries having been depleted. And there's this huge burst of economic growth and open-mindedness and everybody's got a job. So everybody's kind of, you know, treating each other a little better. But, you know, eventually the rich got, you know, the teapot dome scandal just finds another way to get rich people richer and poor people poorer.

And the fight between black and white people being the grease on those gears. It is. You know, I did some shows this summer in Central Europe and Prague and Budapest. A lot of porn coming out of there. A lot of good porn, right? No, but I was with my kids. And so what's great about traveling with your kids is that you're kind of thrust to do educational things. Otherwise, I would just never leave. No, I know what you mean.

But being exposed to what happened 70 years ago in Central Europe. We think of the Germans. 70 years ago in central europe like we think of like the germans oh it was the germans and the nazis and hitler but when you're in central europe you realize human beings are idiots that can be manipulated within a span of months and also brutal brutal fucking creatures yeah so brutal and so when you know i guess what I'm taking away is that, like, the people in the Czech Republic or in Hungary that did horrible things, you know, like, there was an underlying anti-Semitism. There was kind of, but, like, it was all motivated. Like, we're just so impressionable. motivated like we're just so impressionable i mean i even working in the entertainment industry you know i'm sure you know i don't even have to talk to you and i know that there's at least once a week where you look at like some show getting press or some person getting press and you're

baffled you're like what are you doing you guys this is not good yeah yeah and it's and whether it's quality or the quality the quality of the person or the quality of the work or the quality of the person yeah or the message of the world or the message yeah and it's just i guess what my takeaway from central europe and those people are amazing is that humans overall are just idiots like we just like, we're moments away from like, doing horrible things. And I, you know, like, as a entertainer, I look at the Zeitgeist, I'm like, all right, I have an Amazon special. I want people to watch it. How do I get them to watch it? It's like, I don't know. Yeah. Because I don't know what motivates people or motivates the Zeitgeist to,

motivates people or motivates the zeitgeist to, you know, a clean comedian who's talking about, it's like, there's nothing sexy or selly in that. So there's nothing. But it's, that's not to say that I'm not continuing to try and figure it out, but I guess the larger point I'm getting to is humans are pretty scary. So I don't think that, and maybe I'm kind of, I don't think that even people that do, have done horrible things, I think their crime is being human, is that they're just not that bright, that they're manipulated. I also truly think one of the greatest sins is selfishness, is that as long as you just care about yourself and that you don't place – and of course there's a balance. You can't be somebody that just lives for other people. Yeah. of almost all evil is not thinking, not gracing someone next to you with the same humanity and need and worth as you do in yourself. Yeah. So, I mean, that's, and I don't know what you do about that.

Right. Other than be nice to them when they're babies. You know, that's really, you know. I think some of it is civics. I think it's like we have to, you know, we have to kind of instill this is how you behave. You have to build it into the fabric. I mean, it wasn't that long ago the standard protocol was rape and pillage. It's like, you take over this town, let's rape and pillage.

You know there were some guys that were like, can I just do the pillage thing? I'm not crazy about the rape and pillage. You know, there were some guys that are like, can I just do the pillage thing? I'm not crazy about the rape. Seems mean. I got a girlfriend now. And, you know, I'm just, I'm, you know, I'm looking for a TV. You know, I don't want to rape. Right, right, right. So when you get to high school, what are you like?

I mean, does everybody, you walk into the high school, what does the captain of the football team say when you walk by? I went to a very unique high school. In what sense? There was only 100 students. Oh, okay. And it was. Was it a Catholic?

It was a private Catholic school. But it was also. So there wasn't the John Hughes kind of. Rebelliousness? No. Yeah, yeah, no. So in other words, everyone played sports. Everyone was a nerd.

Everyone did everything. I went to a small school too, and there was no, there was jocks and burnouts, and then kind of a messy middle part where some kids played sports and got high a little bit. But there was no room for lots of differentiation into different groups. So yeah, I understand. But in high school, but also I think that we're the same age.

Are we the same age? I'm 22. Oh, you fucker. You drew me out. No, but here's the thing. How old are you? Say it. I'm 53.

OK. So here's what. I also have this. I have this theory. When's your birthday, though? October the thing. No, how old are you? Say it. I'm 53. Okay. So here's what. I also have this. I have this theory. When's your birthday, though? October 28th. All right. You're the same age as me.

So I have this theory. What does that mean? I have this theory. What is your birthday? July 7th. Oh, happy birthday. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Still older. Still older. But I have this theory that there are, there's the baby boomers, there's the generation X, there's millennials, there's, I believe that there was a very small, this is like totally arrogance, narcissism. Self-aggrandizing. Yes, yes. We were special.

No, no. 60 to 68. No, no, no. What a crop of people. I think because the baby boom ended in 62. Yeah. Generation X started in, I don't know, 70 or whatever. I know.

And I'm in 66. So I'm 66 too because I'm younger than you. No, you're not. So, but here's the thing. So bad with math. But the thing is, it's like the true materialism. Yeah. bad with math but the thing is the true materialism yeah that took over america did not kick in until dynasty all right i'm not a scientist but like the you know like alexis carrington is responsible

for donald trump but like think about it you grew up watching Happy Days, watching Laverne and Shirley. All terrible, terrible shows when you look back at them. But, yes, terrible shows. But kind of a romanticized notion. Of the 50s. Of the 50s. Yeah. And I think that had an influence on this microcosm of a generation.

I don't know. I'm talking out my ass. a microcosm of a generation. I don't know. I'm talking out my ass. But so, by the time I got to high school, I, you know, here's one of those things where I thought in high school, I thought all my classmates, I thought, oh, we're going to be senators. We're going to be congressmen.

Like, I was delusional. Yeah, yeah. I thought, oh, there's nothing we can't do. We're all going to do something. Where do you think that came from? Is that from your dad's kind of grandiosity, you think? No, I think it was the headmaster we had. Oh, really?

Who was very much, who would not survive in today's world because he was a yeller and he was kind of like be the best you can be kind of guy. But he, but I do think that in high school high school, here's the greatest lesson I learned. The greatest lesson I learned is I worked so hard through high school, so hard so that I could go to Georgetown where my dad went, where he met my mom, where my brother, my Irish twin, went. He's a year ahead of me. And I didn't get in. And it was like, that was like one of those, like there's moments of failure that kind of define you. You either go, all right, forget it. I'm giving up.

Or you kind of sit there and go, no, I'm not taking this. And so I think in hindsight, I was like, no, I'm not taking this. I'm not taking this. This is, I mean, I was very angry. I mean, I am very angry. Not as angry as you. I mean, I'm younger and you're more angry. Right, right.

I'm very much more angry. But that's because I haven't had it as easy. Yeah. And now wait, but wait, what was it about Georgetown? Was it grades? Was it just it was i did horrible on my sats oh okay i don't know i think i got like 10 that see in that that's a shitty that's a shitty part of that system is that the you know standardized testing isn't

necessarily uh yeah although in this case it might be reflective it might right yeah it might be like a fucking bullseye in terms of capabilities but at any rate we all end up you know the churning froth spits so i do think that like not that failure of uh again this is like people deal with much worse yeah yeah i know but um i feel like like that failure, because in the entertainment industry, to pursue the entertainment industry, you have to be insane. Uh-huh. There's no practical scenario where you end up being the host on a television, the sidekick on a talk show that lasts for 20 years. No. There's no scenario.

For me, I think like in high school, if I had said, I'm going to be a comedy performer and I'm going to be on television for years and years, I might as well have just said I was going to be Miss America. Or I'm going to be an astronaut. Or the first man on Mars. Yeah. It just, it was so, and the phrase, toot your own horn. Yeah.

It was so toot your own horny that there's no way. There's no way that that was going to be possible. You know, like no one in the entertainment industry in my town, there was the marching band. There wasn't even a theater department. Yeah. or there was the marching band there wasn't even a theater department yeah and so um but i i often think of like uh you know here's what i did because you know now my kids are getting older and they are creative and stuff like that and i'm like i don't you know it's like you want to say hey i'm a fluke like i'm lucky there's a lot of things that lined up. Some of it is just me

never stop working. But it's luck. But I always bring this point up. It's like Dead Poets Society. I haven't seen it in a long time. But we watch the movie and there's that father that's like, you're not going to be an actor.

And then the kid kills himself. It's like at this point in my life, I'm like, you know what? That dad was right. Oh, boy. I hope your wife listens to this. Get those kids out of there, Jimmy. But, you know, like, I mean, look, the dad was right. You know what I mean?

Listen. Listen. First of all, first of all all your children to to say you want to work in a creative field does not mean you're going to be Celine Dion it could mean you're somebody that works at the record label or it means that you're somebody that you know plays cello on in on her records you know there's all this is an industry that was that was something that was like very formative to me when I first came to Los Angeles and it started having well I was making a living doing a show but it was you know it was like a stage show and it wasn't much of a living

but I came out here and I remember one time because I was here with a group of people from Chicago and we we drove out to the beach and I remember looking at all the houses and thinking on, you know, on the way to Malibu and thinking this can't be like every one of these houses can't be somebody that I know. You know what I mean? Like some of these houses have to belong to guys that hang lights or, you know, work at the studio or are somehow in distribution of records. There's all kinds of ways to make a living in this business. And with my kids, they're going to do something creative, but I don't even.

And you know what? If they work, I told my son because he was having trouble getting his homework done this year. And I mean, and he had other sort of like, but like there was one point where he was really just had trouble getting his homework done. year. And I mean, and he had other sort of like, but like there was one point where he was really just had trouble getting his homework done. And I was the same way. I had terrible ADHD or ADD, whichever one.

I couldn't get homework done. And I mean, and I was smart. And if, you know, I, you know, my mother, my mother was not into scholastic shit. What she did is she put a desk in the basement facing a blank wall. Yeah. So this is where you're going to do homework with the minimum of distraction. And I would sit there

with a worksheet that would take me 10 minutes. And for 20 minutes stare at the ceiling and then go okay come on you got to do this. And then do like half a question and then feel like like you know Frankenstein or like a vampire having garlic shoved in his face like i can't do it you know and and i it was so puzzling to me and then as

time went on what i ended up having to do there was no just you just have to grind and make yourself do it yeah and that was i was trying to tell my son that. And there was one point where we had a conversation and on one hand, I meant it. I told him, hey, look, if you're having trouble in your senior year of high school doing homework, maybe college isn't for you. Because if you go to college, the homework there is going to be worse than your senior year of homework so if you can't do homework maybe you just go get a job it's fine with me i'll love you either way it doesn't matter and he told me later like when you told me that it broke my heart and i was like yeah it was supposed to like it was i was i was on purpose saying, honey, you can do this. And if you really want to look at your choices, if you really want to narrow it down to simple problem solving, what are the

things you can do? That's one of your options. And if you don't like that option, which you shouldn't like that option, although if you did, no big deal, honestly. If my son said, I'm going to join the Coast Guard, great, be happy, do what you want. But I did want, I wanted him to see like, you know, like this is definitely one option you could choose. And from all the complaining you're doing about the path you're on, if you look at another path, it's this one. You don't want that, right? Well, then you you gotta just buckle up so it's so interesting right the whole idea of because there's also forming human beings i'm trying to help it's insane because you know you said a couple things there that are fascinating

one oh well i do one it's just the detachment our parents had. It was a different approach. Oh, the shit that I – my parents never came to school. No, yeah. I'm at school – I was at school every 10 fucking minutes, it seemed. Yeah. But the other thing is, it's like also – because I've discussed this with other comedians – is like, is it nature or nurture? So in other words, the work ethic, like, you know, growing up, my father, we were essentially, I used to think like he just had kids so that he could have a yard crew.

Right, right. You know, because he would just be like, why don't we move this mountain? Right, right. It also might have been the sex. Yeah. The hot sex with your mom. But, thank you. But he, but there was, and so like i look back and i go

did i get my work ethic from that yard work and i don't know but so like in talking to one person in particular who's a dad also he's like it's you don't have any control over it you don't have if they see you work maybe they'll pick some of it up but it's either in them or it's not in them. You can only kind of guide it so much. And so there is that scenario of, you know, you got to do your own path. So like I, you know, as I brought up, you know, failing to get into the college that I wanted to go to, it's, I do think that everything along the path contributed to my success and my failures that i have right now yeah yeah do you know what i mean so what did georgetown what did

it make you do you said after georgetown said no you said i said i'm i'm gonna get undeniable i'm just i went to uh purdue which was a great school, and I got straight A's. Yeah. And then they let me in. Wait, they let you, wait. Georgetown let me in. Oh, they did? I transferred in.

Oh, wow. From at what point? I transferred in my sophomore year. Oh, wow. So, yeah. That's really something. Yeah. Congratulations.

Oh, thank you. I've got to really rethink my whole Jim Gaffigan picture in my head. No. And so, but it is, you know, it's terrifying as a parent. Yeah. It's like, what do you do? And also the point that you brought up, it's like you want to be honest and you want to give instruction. And I feel as though my children, they're just like, do you remember when dad said that?

Like, I always picture them in a therapist office in 30 years. And then my dad, who was gone most weekends, said to me. Yeah, but there's nothing. I mean, all you can. I mean. I'm going to be dead. It doesn't matter. Right, exactly.

Right? It's just like. Same with life insurance. Get rid of that life insurance right now. It's like, not your problem. The dad in Dead Poets Society was dad in dead poet society was a good guy he was a good guy now is that your model for fathering is that he's your father but i can't he was thin he was a thinner guy i think he also played the dad on that 70s show didn't he i don't

know i don't remember i don't remember i haven't spent a lot of times I've seen that. Have a nerd look at him. You looked across the room at Will there. He could be a nerd. There are no nerds. He's got three screens in front of him. How much more nerdy can you be? He looks like he's never talked to a woman before. Jim, that's sexist. He has.

He's married and they talk twice a year. Yeah. He's married and they talk twice a year. Can't you tell my love's a-growing? All right, so after George, what do you study at Georgetown? I studied finance. Finance. Ugh. Why?

Did you have any aptitude or desire for that? No, not really. Oh, that sounds so gross. I, you know, and by the way, I think that looking back, I think my dad pretty much pressured me into it. Yeah. Because I was the youngest of six, and my siblings had gone to college, and they graduated with these degrees in, you know, I don't know, like butter making. And they couldn't get jobs. So by the time- Any other Georgetown people? My brother, Joe. Your older brother? Oh, your, okay. So by the time my brother. Any other Georgetown people?

My brother, Joe. Your older brother? Oh, your, okay. He went to Georgetown. Yeah. And so we were kind of the hardworking kind of studious ones. I mean, my siblings all are very successful. But, you know, like, you know, there was definitely a couple siblings that, like, would be gone for the first semester of college and then they'd come

back and you'd be like what happened they're like none of your business and so like they essentially just went to college and just drank for three months and then came back and my parents were like you're not going you know oh then they and they stopped did you so then they would go they would go at home you know or they would they would. You know, or they pursued. But they all are very successful. Yeah. So. So, well.

So, I studied finance and I hated it. Yeah. I graduated. I got, you know, I got this job as a litigation consultant in Tampa. Because I love the beach. And so, I'm in Tampa, miserable. I thought for sure once I got paid to do it, I would like it more. Did you just look for jobs or did you think, I want to live in Florida?

No, I looked for- Any job you could get and it just happened. Cool kind of litigation consulting job. Sounds sexy. Where you would calculate claims for law cases. Sounds sexy. Where you would calculate claims for law cases. And so went there.

I had like a crisis where I was like, I don't know what I'm doing. Like, I remember I had a little recorder, and I remember talking into the recorder going, I don't know what I'm going to do. I have no idea. How long does this take? How long do you do that? I was down there for a year. Wow. I did an episode of my TV show about that, that I would watch TV.

And then I, because I had, like the day before I graduated college, I was with some friends at a bar. And I confided in this friend of mine. I told her, I go, you know, I really, I just want to be an actor and a comedian. And she was, why don't you do that? And I'm like, everyone wants to be an actor and comedian. She goes, I don't. Not everyone wants to be an actor and a comedian? And I'm like, everyone wants to be an actor and comedian. She goes, I don't. Not everyone wants to be an actor and comedian. And I'm like, you're lying.

And I just assumed she was lying. Right, right, right. So then I got that job. That's the ego that everybody who is a performer needs to have. Because everybody, no matter how scared they are or anything, their basic desire is everyone be quiet and sit in the dark and look and listen at me like listen to me and look at me and that's like that's like if you have that in you that's like a pretty big chunk of ego you know yeah it's it's it's weird because i wasn't i mean

i was definitely the class clown but i was not somebody who enjoyed public speaking. Yeah, I mean, I'm kind of the same way, but I definitely felt like, oh, no, no, it's worth. I am you. You are me. Very similar, obviously. We have the same prescription in glasses. I don't know about that. But I definitely felt like.

I'm younger. I don't know about that. But I definitely felt like. I definitely felt like it's worth these people's time to be quiet and listen to what I have to say. You know what's so funny? You are so Midwestern, cynical, and self-deprecating. And I know I'm describing myself. Yeah. But it is like, it's self-flagulation. You do a lot of that. Yeah.

Which is what I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You are me. I am you. But the thing is, it's like- I'm not sleeping with you. You're not? No, I won't.

I think I have sleep apnea. Let me talk to you about something. I know I do. I sleep with a machine. You do? I do. See, I don't even care about myself enough to get a machine. My life got so much better.

If you think you have it, try. Seriously. I travel a lot. All you people out there. All you think you have it, try it. Seriously. I travel a lot. All you people out there. All right. They have little machines. They have little tiny machines. I'm getting through TSA with that.

I don't want to deal with that. Yeah, listen. I think I have low T. I think I might have no T because I have no energy. Go to the doctor. They draw your blood. I'm not going to do that. That's the level.

I'm not some wimp. I tough it out, and then I die. That's what a real man does. You don't go to the doctor and go, hey, give me some help. That's what an idiot does. The dad in Dead Poets Society was right. He painted himself into a five-child corner and wants out. Those children will be my legacy.

So what was I talking about before? You were talking about telling your friend. Just hearing your negativity. What is it about the Midwest? Like there is like we love wallowing in this negativity. Well, it's a little bit. It's not everybody from the Midwest. It does.

I once heard, I can't remember who it was. I think maybe it was John Belushi said that people in the Midwest, like the people on the opposite coast want to get to the other coast. If you're in LA, you think you want to be in New York. if you're in new york you think you want to be in la whereas people in chicago and he was saying chicago specifically because they you know they talk about chicago comedians yeah uh that they're happy being there that they're not really particularly which i don't know if that's true because here we sit yeah in burbank california yeah in a dark room with the air conditioning turn off yeah um but i but i mean but i do think that there is kind of a uh a sardonic well just sort of a

judgment about like making a big fuss like oh look at you making a big fuss drawing attention to yourself mr big shot you know well why don't you come over here and sit with us and judge i think letterman and bill murray have that very much yeah that is it's also kind of there's a touch of sociopathy to them too i think oh yeah yeah yeah yeah but what like you're not a sociopath i'm not a sociopath at all you're not i'm truly not why are you wearing a t-shirt that says, I kill babies? Because it's John Galliano's new line, I kill babies. All right. No, but I think there is kind of, and I see it in my brothers, because I think I'm a mixture of my brothers. Like my brother, Mike, the evil one. Yeah. I mean, there's still the evil

one. Like there's a dark sensibility and you've got that darkness. Like it's just a very cynical, like we've learned over time to temper it. But there are plenty of times where you say a joke and in the past people would look at you like that is the worst thing you could say. Oh, all the time. When people want to do like a gross out or a, or a, you know, like, yeah, let's, or like,'s, or like, let's joke about something that you shouldn't joke about. I'm like, oh, you want to? Okay, here you go. Atomic bomb of hate and misery.

And they go like, whoa, man, take it easy. It's like, hey, you started it. So there is that, and there's, but there is also, and this is me kind of patting us on the back, because I do think that Midwesterners, and I think Letterman encompasses this a lot, is like, I'll make fun of you, but you'll be in on it. There's an equality there. There's not a hierarchy. That's why I'm not crazy about roasting, the roasting culture, which is fine.

I don't have any judgment of it. But it's like, I would much more do that on a personal basis. Yeah. Like, you know, like among my siblings, the horrible things we say to each other. Yeah. Like my children, they're like, oh my God, did Uncle Joe just say that to Dad? And they don't realize that that's how we show affection. Because we don't know how to love.

Yeah, you can. That's a regional we don't know how to love yeah you can that's a regional thing not knowing how to love yeah yeah that's not at all anybody's fault right right but i think it's just this nihilism there's just this it's not gonna get better yeah but i also do think that that what is, too, is that that whole thing about, oh, Mr. Big Shot, that's in yourself, too. That is, I think, somehow frequently a projected self-destructive urge of like, I'm a piece of shit, so, oh, you think you're so great. But that can also, as you get healthy, manifest itself in a way that becomes a positive idea of I'm no better than anybody else. And I deserve all the same things, whether they are good things or bad things, as anybody else does. And I think that that is something that's kind of beautiful that happens to people from the Midwest, that I see less and less from people that don't come from the Midwest. I see less and less from people that don't come from the Midwest. I think that there's a kind of like a egalitarian world, you know, like, you know, Mr. Big Shot is also kind of like, hey, come on, we're all the same.

So anyway. No, that's fascinating. How'd you get into college? Or I mean, how'd you get into comedy after college? I, so I- I gotta keep it moving here. Yeah, I finally ended up, you know, I figured out, a friend helped me get a job in New York City working in advertising. Copywriting?

I initially was an account guy, and then I was a copywriter. Nice. And. That's, if I hadn't done show business, I'd be in Chicago probably doing advertising. Right. Because there's so much advertising there. Yeah. And it's a fun industry, you know.

It's definitely from a distance i mean there is something about corporate america that is uh you know it's you know it's it's pretty brutal i mean there's a reason i go on stage with a microphone by myself yeah i love acting and i love the group mentality. But what is that, six weeks? Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, I'll work with someone for six weeks. I don't care. But so then I got to New York. I worked in advertising.

And I had this fear of stage fright, of public speaking. Yeah. And so I took an improv class. And then I was dared to do stand-up. And it was an amazing experience. And then my mother died. And so I was like, you know what? All the stuff that I was brought up with, like pursue a collared shirt, seek security, all these things. I was like, well, this, the only woman in the world that loved me just died. So, none of this matters. I'm just

going to pursue what I think I like, which is the entertainment industry and acting and stand-up. And so, that, if my mother hadn't died, I don't think that I would have pursued it. I think I would have been like, what should I do next, dad? And because life was so unfair in that moment. How old were you then? I was probably 23, 22, that I was like, oh, That I was like, oh, I've just been lied to. And so then I was, rather than seeking security, rather than seeking the role of like, play, you know, work till you're 65, play golf for two years and then die. I don't even play golf.

But I was like, all right, I'm going to find out what really makes me happy, and I'm going to pursue stand-up. And at that time, it was not the industry that it is now. There wasn't comedians. Like, there was George Carlin doing theater. Yeah, yeah. And there wasn't sitcom deals. No, there wasn't really. It was totally a pie-in-the-sky idea.

There wasn't really, it was totally a pie in the sky idea. So then I was like, all right, I'm going to be the weird uncle that lives in a dirty apartment in New York City. Yeah. And that's what I'm going to do. And everyone thinks you might be gay. Everyone thinks I'm gay. Everyone thinks I'm weird. Yeah. No, it was a very, but like, you know, the, again, the bravery compared to like, you know, people.

Sure. Migrants. Yeah. First responders. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, but it was definitely, everyone I went to college with, everyone, you know, in my family was like, okay, that's neat. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy is doing his standup thing.

Did you get some of them that were like secretly thrilled and envious? Oh, yeah. Because I felt that too. My brother Joe was, you know, he is very funny. And I bought him a class at Second City. He lives in Chicago. And he couldn't go. And he-

Couldn't go, why? Because he just didn't want to do it i think you know he was also he had a a career that he was doing yeah and so like there is something about but again all my brothers are very funny and so uh it was one of those things where it seemed like uh you know i'm doing this i don't care what you guys think. And you know, like you bring up the gay thing and it's like, you know, cause people have to understand that, like that even back then there wasn't a certain homophobia associated with it. It was just otherness. Like you were supposed to the normal thing. Like, I feel like culturally we've even gotten to this point where we're open to, obviously, homosexuality is much more accepted now. But also being different is much more accepted.

Like, even having long hair. I remember when my friend had a goatee and people were like, what the hell is going on? Like, we've come a long way. See, and that's one of the ways I think, too, where this small town people ask for it. You think, like, oh, no, they're not dumb and they're not stunted. But yet a guy walks in with a goatee and they have a fucking conniption. I remember once in South Carolina, we were staying by the beach with a friend of mine. He had long hair.

He's Greek. Long hair. It was on our way home we stopped because we're going to drive through the night to get back to new york city we stop in and we happen to know because it was the fourth of july week it's the mayor of the town is sitting there at this restaurant eating dinner my friend's driving his motorcycle back so he has a leather jacket you know he just looked he's a greek guy with hair. He walks in to the restaurant. The mayor from across the restaurant goes, what the hell is that? And it's like, he could be one of the fucking Oak Ridge boys.

What the fuck are you talking? What the hell is that? It's a guy with long hair, you dipshit. You know? Yeah. No, it is. It's all. The otherness is.

Walking tall. Yeah. It's everything is the walking tall. But I don't know. I think that's also, you know, you can find that in fancy places in New York City. You're right. You're right. You know?

I don't know. Anyway, I'm a great guy. You are a very great guy. Tell me about Jeannie, your wife. How did you guys meet? We met at a Korean bodega bodega uh but korean they're called korean delis i i don't know what the term is now in our neighborhood dan korean bodega is kind of like korean taco stand yeah no well the thing is is it is a bodega but they call them korean deli yes

and um she i had met her she's lived in my neighborhood uh and um I had met her. She's lived in my neighborhood. And I had seen her on the street. And then I didn't gain any confidence around women. I mean, obviously, I pursued women my entire life. Relentlessly. Relentlessly. But in my early 30s, I was kind of like, all right, I know what I'm doing. Yeah.

And so I had the confidence. I think that's always been obvious. Yeah. You know what you're doing around the ladies. And so then, so I had some confidence and I had dated some models and stuff like that. Oh. And so then. Hand models?

Hand models. Yeah. And shoe models. Hand models and shoe models. And so then I saw her in the Korean bodega. And I said, have I met you before? And she's like, you're so arrogant. We've met like three times.

Because I'm not that bright. Right, right, right. And so then. And that sounds exactly like her, which is fantastic. That's your relationship today. Oh, absolutely. And so I'm just constantly in trouble. Like the amount. Like I don't even. And then she'll be really sweet. She's like, I'm so sorry. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And so I'm just constantly in trouble. Like the amount, like I don't even, and then she'll be really sweet. She's like, I'm so sorry. And I'll be like, oh, it doesn't matter.

And then in trouble. And so we met there and we had a lot in common. And she's Catholic too. She's Catholic. And was that a big deal? That was like, I used to make fun of her. I lived, where I lived, I lived across from this Catholic church, never went in it for 15 years, started dating this woman who ended up being my wife, and then got married in that church. My kids were baptized in that church. I go there. It's like, I think that there's a joke also in, like, because I know that you know hearing the catholic thing is so absurd because yeah and show business too no i mean it is it's hard it's hard to have faith when you're in show business because it's such a especially comedy is tearing

things down tearing just to examine them not necessarily to destroy them. Cynicism, right? Yeah, and cynicism, yeah. It's like the opposite of, like, you have to be cynical. You have to, groups are wrong. Yeah. I don't like groups. I really don't like groups. Yeah, yeah. And so, like, it is. And you are tearing things apart to look at them and say,

hey, check it out, look at this thing. Yeah, and also you're saying things, there's a certain amount of shock, and you're saying shock and surprise. And so, it is really interesting that I ended up marrying this Catholic girl and going to church and having kids. And so, it's weird, because it is also very kind of personal, because it's like, again, I look at my children and I'm kind of like, I don't know. Like, I didn't think when I was 32 that I would be going to church. I didn't think that when I was 22, you know, even in high school, I thought it was all bullshit. You know what I mean? So, it's like, but it's a very individual kind of thing. But do you, now do you derive, do you derive like real kind of sustenance from the spiritual

faith aspect of it? It varies. Or is it more sort of like the, because I very much understand it because I used to go to church when I was a kid and was always agnostic, but I liked the ritual of it. I liked the community of it. I liked the structure of it. You know, it's really interesting because it's nothing like traveling for stand-up, but it is almost similar to traveling.

In what sense? In that, you know, I don't want to go. You know what I mean? I don't want to go to the airport. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to, you know, in the middle of my day. Yeah. But there is something.

That's one of the things I do enjoy. I do enjoy being there with my children, and, like, there my day. Yeah. But there is something, that's one of the things I do enjoy. I do enjoy being there with my children and like there's silence. Yeah. I mean, they're not paying attention. Uh-huh. I'm paying attention. And it's pretty. Church is pretty, you know?

And there is kind of like there's this time where almost kind of everything turns off. Yeah. And so, there's this meditative kind of thing. turns off. And so, there's this meditative kind of thing. But like my belief system, it's very individual and it's part of my own kind of journey and like I need to have this kind of knowledge that I can be forgiven because like you, I have a lot of anger and frustration sure and and i'm you know both of us completely warranted right and so there is something of but would i believe that i would embrace this uh religious structure that over the course of a thousand or 2,000 years has done horrible things. Yeah.

No, I never thought I would. Yeah, yeah. I never thought I would. But it's also, it's almost kind of like, as a comedian, I'm almost kind of like, the most irreverent thing I could do is do that. Yeah. And so, but that's not the reason I'm doing it. Yeah, no, I get it.

It's like the rebellious thing of being a comedian is going to church. Yeah, it's weird. And it is, it's so fluid because there's times when I'm, I doubt it all. Yeah. You know, but then there's times when I'm like, thank God it's there. I mean, my wife almost died. And it's like, so like that, even the community there was like i get it yeah do you know i mean and i do think that i'm very much in touch with i don't know yeah and i think that

human beings like every generation human beings think we have it all figured out yeah we finally figured it out folks how we get rid of the sickness is we put leeches on them. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, so I think that I want to be in touch with that, not only forgiveness, but with, I don't know. Yeah. And believe me, it's not this thing like, hey, just in case.

I'm not doing it like that. It's literally something that, you know, it's like, I have friends that are in AA. And so it's like, I think of it as very similar to, uh, it's,

it's a very personal thing, but it's just, I used to describe it like being a Cubs fan before they won a world series. Like you would tell people you're Catholic and they'd be like, what? Yeah. Have you seen what's been happening? Yeah.

Yeah. Like, it's insane that you would do that. You're like, oh, I'm committed. You know, I got the jersey. I got all the stuff. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like, you know.

Got all the gear already. And then, but, so I don't know. It's a very interesting thing. Yeah. It's like, I think I would give you a similar version of this answer every five months. Yeah. But I don't know. I mean, there is also, but it's like there's such, I mean, America has done horrible things.

Horrible things. And so I'm still American. Everybody picks and chooses what they take out of an institution. Nobody is like 100% because you just can't. It's just insane. There's too much of good and bad and everything. Do you mind talking a little bit about when Jeannie got sick? Not at all, not at all.

So tell people. Well, I should point out that Jeannie is writing a book that's going to be coming out in October all about this. You know, of course, you know, this Jeannie, this woman who's like a superwoman. She's a force in nature. Executive producer of this show we did and all this. She gets done with a life-threatening brain tumor that's on, you know, enmeshed in her cranial nerves on her spine. And the first thing she does when she, you know, can walk is she starts writing a book and you're like, you can take a break.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, but it was really terrifying. Yeah. I mean, it was, because again, I was- She started having symptoms? It was, she had hard of hearing and she was at a pediatrician's visit with our five kids. I was probably out doing a show somewhere. Right, right.

And the pediatrician, who's this amazing doctor, said, you should get that hearing checked. Like, Jeannie just was like, I'm exhausted. I have five kids. Yeah. And she goes, nah, that's a little weird. Like, Jeannie just was like, I'm exhausted. I have five kids. Yeah.

And she goes, nah, that's a little weird. So she went to an ENT and eventually got an MRI, just a routine, kind of like, we're just going to check. And then they saw this growth the size of a pear on her brain stem. It's always fruit. It's always fruit, yeah. It's always fruit. It's always fruit, right? But before you knew it, it's like, we're sitting in this brain surgeon's office, and he's describing the scenario. Just that brain surgeon.

Oh, yeah. I thought you would ever go to a fucking brain surgeon. Absolutely. Absolutely. You're just like so grateful that someone likes science. Yeah. You're like, thank you for liking science. Thank you, nerd.

I think you owe Will an apology. I think I do owe Will an apology. And so then, I mean, there were a lot of hiccups along the way. But there was, so she had the brain surgery. She had it removed. So there's like this 12-hour surgery. Yeah. And so I'm just walking around the reservoir in Central Park.

And so then I come back, and they wake her up. Because there's scenarios where they're like, sometimes people walk out of the hospital the next day. Sometimes people die. And you're like, OK. Thanks. OK. And so she went through the surgery. They woke up.

She woke up, and she had all these tubes in her throat. And it's like there was a possibility of facial paralysis, you know, hearing completely lost, speech impediment, all these things, brain damage, whatever. And so she woke up and, you know, like she could mouth, you know, like, who are you? What year is it? You know, it's interesting because they're like, who's the president? And she's like, and she shook her head Trump. Yeah. It's like, everything's fine. Yeah. And some of the, the, the muscle memory of, I know nothing about brains, but they removed this breathing thing that was down her throat to see if she could breathe on her own. And so she was breathing on her own, but the swallowing wasn't working. So then she aspirated.

So all this liquid went into her lungs. And then she got pneumonia, like really bad pneumonia. And the doctor was very nervous. And that's when the brain surgeon's nervous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because everyone that works in a hospital, they have their very serious face. 1,000-yard stare, yeah. And he was like, oh.

And I was like, fuck. Is this a day or two later? This is a day or two later. And so it was like, and I'm updating everyone doing these emails. And I was like, oh, you know what? I'm going to be the father. I'm going to be a single father of five children. Wow.

And I can't even. With a road career. Well, it would be, I would just obviously. Have to figure something else out to do. I'd have to give it up. Yeah, yeah. And so I would just obviously- Have to figure something else out to do. I'd have to give it up. Yeah, yeah. And so I was like, okay. So I was like, all right, this is, you know, I got to do my career.

This is what fate is giving me. Then it was very touch and go for a while. And so it was like one of those things where she, you know, she got a tracheotomy and then she had a feeding tube and it was like she couldn't talk. She couldn't eat for like three weeks. Wow. And she had to be married to me. Who talks.

Which is the real hill to climb. And thinks only, pretty much only about me. Sure, right. And so. Sure is inconvenient genie but there was in you know i did this special noble ape about all of you know a portion of it's all about that medical thing but it was really interesting seeing because the and then i started touring doing this material because when she got out of the woods she was like go go and um had she had enough of

you at that point she had had enough of me but it was one of those things where i think we live in a certain amount of denial about our mortality obviously but we also dip into this you know we have parents for loved ones friends that go into the hospital die almost die and we we we have kind of like this oh wow this is a really these are uh the important things in our lives and then two weeks later re-yelling yeah yeah you know uh uh you know and so it was interesting so but she's doing a lot better. But she's still, it's like her leg's tingly. She's had a second surgery.

She had to delay the recording of her book because the surgery that they did. Because one of the vocal cords is just done. And so they had to rebuild her vocal cords. So it's an ongoing thing. It's not like, you know, spraining an ankle. Yeah. Are her motor skills okay? They're good. I mean, she's definitely, you know, there's times when, like,

her energy's come back a lot. I mean, she has more energy than me because I have low T. Sure, sure. Or no T. Well, there's no way to know. And, you know, like, there's certain things, like we were swimming in the ocean and there's waves, and I'm like, you can't do that.

Because it's like, there's other aspect of, like, she has these veins that are very fragile in her neck. Oh, wow. So. Wow. It's heavy stuff. Yeah, yeah. It's got to be.

And especially with five kids. Yeah. I mean, it's just. And especially since I don't know what I'm doing. Wow. It's heavy stuff. Yeah, yeah. It's got to be. And especially with five kids. Yeah. I mean, it's just. And especially since I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah. I remember when I was on your show, playing your brother, and we were on the set of your apartment, which you told me was, and it was a one, was it a one bedroom apartment or a two bedroom apartment? It was a two bedroom. Two bedroom apartment. And you told me, and it was a little set. Yeah. It was a one, was it a one bedroom apartment or a two bedroom apartment? It was a two bedroom. Two bedroom apartment.

And you told me, and it was a little set. Yeah. It was a little apartment. And you told me it was slightly larger. No, they had to make it bigger so that they could shoot. Yeah. Yeah. And I was in the, what was the, you know, air quotes, kids bedroom.

And I was like, five fucking kids in an apartment like this. And you said, yeah, we were very irresponsible. Like, we made bad decisions. And I mean, it's, what, I mean, did you, do you think there was a drive to have, to replace the five that you grew up with? No, well, some of it is. Did you just not think? And you're just like, yeah, let's have another one. Well, it's, some of it was, some of it, there was, to be fair, there was this romantic notion of she comes from a big family, I come from a big family.

But I wasn't. I wasn't. You did as you were told. I did as what I was told. Yeah, yeah, I understand. But I also was, you know, so like the second kid's really hard. Yeah. And then the third kid's really hard. Yeah. And then the third kid's really hard.

Yeah. And then at that point, I was like. The fourth and fifth are like, yeah, yeah. I was like, you know, I have no energy. Sure, sure. And my whole thing, and I wrote that book, That Is Fat. It's all about, like, can I afford a decent hamburger here and there? Yeah, yeah.

In the end, that's all I care about. Sure. And, you know, there is, they do provide so much joy and all that stuff that parents say. Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, no, they are the most, you know, they make everything else seem really stupid. Right. Which is the best thing that they do. And it's terrifying.

All this shit that you've, your whole life, like work kind of things, your career things that you've been really worried about and really stressed about. And you have these kids and you're like, oh, my God, that stuff is so dumb. So stupid. So pointless and so stupid and so laughable. Yeah. And I can go – now I can go into meetings about things that are very, very important and just be like, oh, fuck this. Who cares, you know? Yeah.

No, it's weird. I turned down a movie because last week I was with my family. We go to this island where there's no cars and it's's just kind of like everybody kind of takes golf carts everywhere. Yeah. Is it in Michigan? No, it's in North Carolina. Oh, OK. And you have to rent a house and all that stuff.

Yeah. And so then I got this small part in this really cool movie. And I was like, I can't do it. I got to do this. And the directors and the producers was like i can't do it i gotta do this and they're like like the directors and the producers were like no really this is you want to do this and i'm like no you know like i'm on vacation i'm you know this is like i'll give up a lot yeah you know like i'll you know i didn't get any sleep last night but you know it's like there's certain things like i imagine

the kids will go i remember doing that one week where we would go to the beach house. Right, exactly. So I kind of protect that. Yeah. Now, speaking of movies, you have quite the star turn. You have a movie coming out called American Dreamer. Yes. And you are the star of it in like a way that I don't have.

Have you ever done anything similar? I mean, because this is purely a dramatic role of a guy really on the edge. Yes. I map the character on you, Andy. I can see that. No, but I – I mean, most people that know me are fascinated by me. Right?

Absolutely. They think about not much else but me. Right. Yeah, yeah. No, it was an amazing opportunity. I do love acting. Yeah. I love.

How did it come to you? Did the director have you in mind? You know, I think it was a casting director, Mary Vernue, who's been very good to me. She pitched me for Chappaquiddick. She pitched me for a bunch of things. And so I read the script. I loved it.

And selfishly, part of me, I want to show people what I can do because I want directors and producers to go, oh, he can act. Absolutely. And so, but I love the story. I love the fact. I love to tell you as a comedian, oh, gosh, you can act. And it's like, well, yeah, no shit, man. Yeah.

You're paying me to, you know. Well, and it's also, it's not as if that skill isn't used in comedy. Yeah. It's not like, oh, my God, you're also a world-class fencer. Yeah. I mean, they're fairly close. It's nice. They're right next door to each other.

Yeah. Yeah. And so I, but I love the role. And I, you know, there's dark sides nice you know yeah right next door to each other yeah yeah and so i uh but i love the the role and i you know there's dark sides you know it's like i'm sure when you watched american dreamer you were like yeah i could like this guy's his story is uh you know i think the movie's really about white entitlement like i think that's this guy. Absolutely. He's very, he's like, I, you know, he's had some, you know, there are people that are rideshare drivers because they do it as kind of a side job. Side gig, yeah.

They do it as something to get going. So they're going to school. And then there's some people that do it because their life has fallen apart. And I play one of these guys, his life has fallen apart. And you kind of track that as the movie goes on, you learn more and more about this guy. And initially, and that's so fun, you know, to like build where, you know, people are watching and maybe they're like on his side. So that later on they can, you know, similar to comedy, there's a surprise of like, oh, I shouldn't have assumed that this guy was this way or that. Yes, yes. And it was. Just for people in the movie, you also are, in addition to being a rideshare driver, you are kind of like the personal driver for a drug dealer.

Yes. And then you kind of get sucked into because of financial hardship yes and a little bit of mental illness too you get sucked into criminal behavior yes and it all goes horribly wrong it goes yeah yeah yeah and and it's it's very tense it's very taught you know like yeah it's like yeah it's almost like like having a meal with you oh well hey yeah but i uh you don't know with these in like this in this film was you know i think we shot it in like 17 days uh-huh where we're at by the way in uh norfolk virginia and it was a great so like there were uh uh kids from uh oldion, like part of the university, like they used their cameras.

And this director was great. He's doing a movie with Russell Crowe. He's like taking off. And a great cast. But it was one of those indie movies where they're, you know, like there's no budget. Yeah. There's no budget. Yeah.

They're, you know, like there's no budget. Yeah. There's no budget. Yeah. And so there, I remember the first day of shooting, they showed me to a room that had no chair. It was just like, there was, I think it was like. That was going to be like your room to hang out in. And I was like, can I get a chair? And they're like, oh yeah.

Oh, right. You know what I mean? So you're like, you're like, I just, you know, I. Just go stand in the corner like a robot yeah no like it's like do you think people you know but you know they don't know and so it was one of those things where that's

that level of and it was all night shoots so it was crazy you get done at 6 in the morning and you're like yeah you feel like I don't know what to do and so well you're great in it oh well thank you you. And you're like, I don't know what to do. You feel like shit for weeks, yeah. But still, well, you're great in it. Oh, well, thank you. You know?

And you're probably going to get an Oscar. I think I'm going to get two. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Not for acting. It's for something. I don't know. You're talking about

an Oscar of the grouch. I'm going to get an Oscar of the grouch doll. An Oscar Mayer wiener. Yes. All right, well, let's get to the what you've learned part.

Okay. I mean, what's on Jim Gaffigan's tombstone? What does Jim Gaffigan want to pass on to his kids? that being angry and complaining, which I indulge in, serves no purpose. Except material. Yeah. Well, I think some of the, you know, so there is the anger that bumps me on an idea

that ends up being material. Sure, that fuels your work, yeah. But like the frustration of of the first seven years I did stand-up, I felt like there was just, I couldn't get a break. Yeah. I don't think that was productive. I also think that assuming that other people, I think that one of the things I learned is that roughly 80% of people that have

jobs are bad at them. And that's not to be kind of mean, but if you assume- It's just the way it works. You just assume they don't know what they're doing. Yeah. And so you don't, I mean, which sounds kind of jerky, but it's and so like you don't i mean which sounds kind of jerky but it's more of like don't assume that this person who's gonna do this knows what they're doing right i i my family i came from a bunch of family businesses yeah that their business model seemed to be putting out fires there was no thinking ahead there was just kind of like we'll show up and open the store and oh shit something happened and deal with it and i just assume when i get out into

the big adult world that no there would be smooth sophisticated people that really had a plan no no it's all the same it's just everybody going to work and sitting there quietly until something happens and then going oh fuck i gotta, I got to figure this out. And it's like, okay, I don't know why I thought any different. Like, why I would think that, like, what these family members were doing would be any different than what people at a movie studio were doing. Well, that's the thing that I think, you know, there's all these moments of looking behind the curtain. That moment in The Wizard of Oz where you're like, oh, there is no Oz. That's all the entertainment industry. Yeah, yeah.

And I'm not bashing the Montreal Comedy Festival, but when I was starting as a comedian, I just wanted to get to the Montreal Comedy Festival. And then I got there, and I'm like, oh, it's just a bunch of comedians. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I feel like the entertainment industry, it's like, I'm very excited about all the opportunities I've had and stand up. And, but, you know, I have this new special on Amazon.

But, you know, so I was like, I'm going to be the first special on Amazon. They're probably going to have a parade for me. And do you know what I mean mean it's like the press releases amazon's first original and the reality is it's an enormous corporation yeah the biggest corporation they got a gazillion things going on they don't care yeah now are they gonna promote it yes but like so like oh it's it's i always naively think that you're going to achieve something and then you'll be metaphorically escorted into a room of luxury. And that doesn't exist. So I keep learning that over and over again. It's like, once I get this,

I won't ever have to deal with a heckler or I won't. And, you know, that's the other thing I've learned is that I do like surprises that I think being a comedian, I like being on stage. I like the fact that there's a risk of utter humiliation. I like that. I like the, I mean, it's stacked. I'm holding a microphone. I have my bag of tricks. I have jokes. But I like the risk. I like the endorphin rush. I've learned that I need to seek creative fulfillment as opposed to other people's idea of success. I think it took me a long time to realize.

Or notoriety, like, you know, like being famous or something. Yeah. No, like the whole idea, like every time there's an article about me in stand-up, I always kind of like get mad at myself for reading it because it's always kind of, like, there's nothing sexy about what i do but people come and see it yeah so like when some new york times writer is writing about me he's just like i don't know he's just like he does a lot of jokes that people like and i'm like yeah that's the idea yeah that's what it's supposed to be he makes people feel good you know i mean he you know

people come and they get happy you know i mean as opposed to like you know uh me reinventing like i'm essentially doing exactly what a comedian's supposed to do yeah they they describe it as conventional like that's a a negative thing right do you know i mean but getting caught up in other people's expectations is always a waste of time yeah and i remember I remember even when I started, people were like, why don't you go on The Tonight Show? And I'm like, it's not like I haven't thought of that. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Have you thought of going on Conan Show?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I thought of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, the thing that I've learned is that there's so much I don't know. And it's like, I'm just going to continue to not know more and more. Yeah. Yeah. And that I'm good in bed and I have a huge penis.

And you're younger than me. And I'm younger than you. You got that going for you. That's probably one of the things that really fuels your sexual prowess. Yeah. Is knowing you're younger than me. But you know what? If I didn't have low T or no T. Sure no t sure sure sure probably it would be dangerous for women that would be for you oh

yeah yeah i didn't even bring it with me oh what didn't bring what your penis no it's out playing pool i don't know what it's doing now that i would like to see right Right? Well, Jim, thank you for doing this. Thank you. And quite seriously, I am so glad to know you and to have gotten to know you over the years and to count you as a friend. And when you asked me to be on your show and play your brother, it was very meaningful to me. And I was very touched by that. Well, I do feel like we're related. I know it was Jeannie's idea. No, it was totally my idea. It was totally my idea.

All right. Well, God bless you. Thank you, buddy. And keep doing what you're doing. Appreciate it. And more. And good luck with the movie and the new special. And give my love to Jeannie.

I will. Not those goddamn kids, though. Not them. All right, listeners. Thank you. We'll see you next time on The Three questions with me. I forget my name. The three questions with Andy Richter is a team Coco and Earwolf production. It's produced by me, Kevin Bartelt, executive produced by Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at team Coco and Chris Bannon and Colin Anderson at Earwolf. Our supervising

producer is Aaron Blair, associate produced by Jen Samples and Galit Sahayek, and engineered by Will Becton. And if you haven't already, make sure to rate and review The Three Questions with Andy Richter on Apple Podcasts. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.