The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Jon Cryer

Episode Date: March 26, 2024

Actor Jon Cryer joins Andy Richter to discuss his early days in show business, running into each other at the Warner Bros. gym, Jon’s character in “Andy Richter Controls the Universe,” getting dragged into the “first internet sh*t storm,” going to film school boot camp in his thirties, how he ended up playing Lex Luthor, and his new sitcom, “Extended Family.”

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to The Three Questions. I am the host of The Three Questions, Andy Richter. And today I am talking to John Cryer. You know John. He's been in a gazillion hits. And he is a wonderful guy. He and I are friends and we've known each other for a long time and gotten to spend a fair amount of time together. He is now in the NBC sitcom Extended Family. And we had a great conversation, and you're about to hear it. Here's John Cryer and me. Hello, hello. It's going to be so good when we actually talk about it. Oh, when we start talking, gold will spew forth from our throats.

We're already recording. Oh, no. This is already a disaster. Yeah, we're soaking in it. A Palmolive reference. Yeah, there you go. God bless you man you know well this podcast uh the average age of this you know the median age is like 66 the golden years the good folks

i'm just podcasting yeah just podcasting to the aarp crowd i i treasured my first aarp uh mailer that i got. Yep. I just got one. Oh, yeah. Now I now I matter. And it was great because they offered a refrigerated cooler. That was like the free. Sure. Sure.

So you join AARP. Exactly. It's for your medications. May I ask how old you are? I sure you may ask. Are you going to tell me? I just looked that shit up. I am 58 years old.

Oh, yeah. I'm 57. You're a year older than me. Well, a little less than a year older than me. But, yeah, I had the same thing. The other day, I was at IHOP with my family, and I noticed the senior menu is 55 and over. So it's like, oh, my God, I'm getting cheap pancakes. The siren song on the senior menu.

It's calling you. I know. It's calling you. It's very weird, though. I feel like I got old real fast. I don't know whether COVID did it, whether it cre crept up on me from being. It's a blink of an eye. It's like it's a binary choice.

You're young and then suddenly you're old. Yeah. Yeah. And yes, COVID had something to do with it because that was four years that I just refused to believe existed. Yeah. You know, there are times where I'm like, oh, wait, that was before COVID. Right. That was actually a long time ago. Yeah. Yeah. You know, that was actually a long time ago.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, so it f's with your your whole. It does. It does. Sense of time. Were you working like were you working on something during lockdown? Oh, it was exciting. Did you have a show or something? I was I was working on Supergirl up in Vancouver. Oh, OK.

And it was it was very exciting because you could hear the the little dribs and drabs like, oh, there's some people getting sick in China. Oh, da-da-da-da. Oh, you know, they're getting a little concerned. Oh, da-da-da. Suddenly, our studio was half Supergirl, half Riverdale, the other CW show. And then

we're like, well, you know, we can finish out the season and everything will be fine. There's plenty of sexy teens around. Exactly. We'll never run out of sexy teens. This is Vancouver. And then it was like, oh no, somebody on Riverdale's got it. And then boom, we shut down.

Oh, wow. Like that day. Yeah, I felt the same way. For me, it was the same thing. I kind of was hearing about it and like was it going to happen and then and then i remember i had a podcast we used to have our podcast studios in at warner brothers in the conan studios uh in the old sadly when we downsized to a half hour we lost our live band and we turned their dressing room into a podcast studio so it was like it was us you know this new endeavor but like you know in the place where

our friends used to live um but i had i i recorded yeah i recorded a podcast that morning and then like was just like somebody said you better go buy toilet paper and i was like really and they're like yes and i went to and i i think i went to two places and then i went to cvs and found the last bale you know of toilet paper that was that was available in burbank it was made out of hay so it was yes it was lumpy. Oh, it was rough. It was very rough. But I made bricks. Yes. I built a home on the prairie out of bricks.

Yes, I did a frantic purchase of toilet paper on Amazon that arrived, and they were mini rolls. So it was not like – What does that mean? Like for a dollhouse? Yeah. Turns out in the picture, they look like normal rolls. Right. But no, in real life, they were maybe like an inch wide.

So yes, which makes no sense. They didn't really fit on the thing. They lasted for a day and a half. Wow. Luckily, you have a tiny rectum. That's what got me through COVID, people. Now, did you come back from Vancouver? Were you able to get back home from Vancouver? Yes. Yes. There was an immediate exodus. This was before, you know, everybody sort of shut down and, you know, like the U.S. didn't make me stay in a hotel for two weeks. Right. You know, but then when the show started back up, I had to go back up.

Yeah. And I did have to stay in a hotel room by myself for two weeks while Mounties checked on me, which is kind of sweet because they wear the hats. Do they really? They still wear the hats. Oh, my gosh. Which is awesome. Wow.

That's great. Really? In the whole outfit? In the whole outfit. No, they didn't come in the whole outfit but they do have Mountie hats? Mounties still wear hats

wow God bless them and did they ride the horses in there? they rode it through the hotel lobby hello into the elevator

no but they yeah they're very they were very very uptight about it understandably I mean it's an infectious disease

absolutely and you know you think performers very uptight about it, understandably. I mean, it's an infectious disease, absolutely. And, you know, you think performers, as you know, being one of them, we're used to hotels. We're used to staying in hotels. We're used to having to live in hotels for longer periods than most people stay in hotels. But even so, you do go crazy. You do like you become Martin Sheen in Apocalypse Now where you're punching the mirror and drinking and standing around in your undies.

Yeah. Because you can't even go for a walk. Right. At that point. No. Wow. At that point. No, you were just stuck in the room. And if they caught like did they were they keeping tabs on you in case you, you know, 3 a.m. went for a stroll that the worry, the paranoia that that that people were supposed to have that they they hoped people would have was that you if you were like if you went out to go to the store and somebody stopped you and said, hey, aren't you supposed to be in quarantine? Then you'd be in trouble. But I have heard of nobody, a grand total of no one who had actually happened to, but that was the concern at the time. Yeah. Wow. Do you still,

I mean, you mentioned it and I do wonder because you have been lucky enough to remain very busy throughout your career. And do you, do you still enjoy like going to Vancouver toouver to to work on a show and and staying there or you know yeah yeah i love going on location i love going to locations that are that people regard as great locations like i i love vancouver i do lovely lovely town um but i've also gone to to places that people don't you know regard as as terrific ones and i really

enjoyed them like i went up to Syracuse. Syracuse has a little burgeoning film scene now because they had some tax incentives and stuff like that and shot a movie called Big Time Adolescence with Pete Davidson and had a blast. It was a great, it's a lovely little, you know, it's a college town. You know, it's had days that were tougher more recently,

you know, in terms the the finances of the town but still lovely and fun to be there and and uh and yeah i like work i i i i loved when i was younger i love sort of the the circuses in town aspect of it like you'd show up with your movie crew and i still love that yeah everything you pat everything's on trucks and trailers and you pull up and you pull it all out and yeah set it up and make fake stuff and then take it all away you touch a few hearts and then you leave that's that's what you do and director i actually i'm like that sounds like you're an emt of some kind um no actually on my my very first movie i'm gonna take a sip here yes excuse me big on my glass of vodka yes yes uh four inches of vodka in there um no my first movie was a movie called

ocean stigs with uh that was directed by robert altman yeah i know that movie it was a it was in a small town in it was first in pho Phoenix for a little while and then it moved to another town. And and I remember the town was so small that at one point a woman came up holding her baby in her or her hand and said, hey, will you you guys take me with you? And we were like, we're not the circus. There are aspects about us. We don't just take people with us. Sounds like a fun idea, but no. And also, too, you break up.

You have these- Yes, these intense friendships because you're in a foxhole together. Sometimes the hours are incredibly long. Sometimes you're working in crazy locations or doing crazy physical things, you know. Yeah. And there's these wonderful co-conspirators around you who are making it really great. And, yeah, you create this bond that goes away. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Which is, you know, but uh but you get kind of yeah it's you get there is you know having having gone through lots of therapy and just kind of being aware of what good mental health is you know there's a general idea that you should eschew compartmentalizing things that you're, you know, you should sort of strive towards having your life be a holistic, you know, sort of like, it's all one thing, but it's like, no, no, no, that does not work at all in this business at all, because you really do have to like totally devote yourself to weird little projects for short periods of time.

You also like the other thing too is like, you know, the thing that my parents from early on are like, so after this thing that you're doing is done, then what? And I'm like, I don't know. I have no idea. And that again, you have to put that in a box. I have to be okay with that. And that, again, you have to put that in the box. I have to be okay with that. There is a terror involved in, you know, in like not knowing what the next thing is, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, you're right. And also like when we're doing this art, we're expected to, as artists and as actors, to allow ourselves to be vulnerable in ridiculous ways that you would not be. On command. Yeah. Repeatedly. You know, if you've got to do a scene where you run around in your underwear in somebody's front yard, well, you got to run around in your underwear and somebody's front yard over

and over and over again. You got to stand there while passersby notice that you're running around in your underwear, you know? And so again, there's a certain foxhole mentality where, you know, I can't believe we're doing this, but we're doing this that comes into play. But yeah, I know I've always been blessed with that. I grew up, um, my parents are both performers. Yes. Uh, my mom's a playwright as well. And so I, that, that part of it, I always got, you know, I always, that was part of the deal and they kind of, yeah. Yeah. And you just learn that by osmosis probably. Yeah. Yeah. And,

kind of yeah yeah and you just learn that by osmosis probably yeah yeah but i did expect but but i do interestingly when i when i did my first uh uh sort of big movie which was pretty in pink um i did sort of expect that certain uh esprit de corps of of a a group of fellow thespians to sort of come into play but it really kind of didn't oh really that was that was yeah it was a you know it was a super big deal shoot in L.A., you know, with people who were already stars. Molly Ringwald was already a star. Andrew McCarthy was already a star. Harry Dean Stanton was in it, you know.

Right. And, you know, wonderful people. So they weren't looking for friends. They were just looking to do the job. Right. You know, and I'm here all bright eyed and bushy tailed going, we're going to have fun, aren't we? Yeah, yeah.

And that didn't really happen much. And so I was a little thrown off. I felt a little isolated during that time. But, you know, it's… Did you find that that was just like indicative of just that that was kind of a unique situation where you had sort of like three main stars who were sort of a little more isolated or wanted to be a little more isolated um every you know every movie creates its own or are you just a nudge i'm a

nudge i am a nudge and i have been and i was told that late years later andrew mccarthy said dude you were like super needy and annoying. It's like, oh, okay. All right. That's not wrong. I got a niche. I got to fill it. Somebody's got to do it. I always found when I was doing, especially location stuff, that notion of it being like a little troop.

I always had a set friend or a location friend and it would be like like people that i would pal up with for you know however long and and not just on the set but kind of you know to go and have coffee with on saturday or what you know on the saturday when you're on location and there were a couple movies that like where i didn't have that and it's a really different experience yeah it's very you know like my lonely days in toronto you know working for the olsen twins they didn't really want to hang with me it turns out for some reason yeah well and and the thing is though you think you're going to be so productive. It's like if I'm just sitting by myself, I'm going to read the great novels.

I'm going to watch every great movie because it's great. You can stream everything now. Yeah. And it just the time just evaporates. You know, I. Yeah. No, I know. I know.

It's just the lockdown was the same thing. Yeah. All the things I was going to do. And I mean, and even just recently, the strike, you know, the strike. I was supposed to really be writing up a storm during the strike. I didn't write a goddamn thing during the strike. You know, and I just, that's one of, you know, that's part of, I think, being a real live grown-up adult and still feeling like you're 24 inside and feeling like, you know, one of these days, that list of to-dos in terms of making myself a more productive grown-up, I'm going to do that stuff.

That's number one on my to-do list, is doing all that other stuff. Yeah. on my to-do list. Yeah, yeah. Right, right. Is doing all that other stuff. Yeah. Now, when you, do you think that seeing

your parents be performers is what kind of inspired you to do it? Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. I loved the life. I loved being backstage.

It was just fun. It was big personalities. It was sort of a boisterous adventure everybody was on. Yeah. You know, and then you had to do a show. You had to, you know, get out there and overcome whatever and then you had to do a show you had to you know

get out there and overcome whatever you were dealing with to do a show did you how old were you when you started to kind of like to do plays and things that you know like and was it did your did you have to tell your folks or did they kind of say hey we need a kid in this thing. You're drafted, kid. When I was four, I did a commercial with my mom. My mom got offered a commercial for a thing called Zest Haves, which is a multivitamin. They were like Flintstones vitamins.

Sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, vitamin, vitamin, vitamin, sugar. Right, right, right. Shaped in cute shapes. And they needed a lady to do a thing about, oh, and my kids love them too. And then they also needed kids.

Yeah. So I volunteered to do it. My sister ran screaming from the room. She wanted nothing to do with it. And I, so I, at four years old, was in a vitamin commercial. And they ended up using our picture on every bottle of Zest-Tabs. It was part of the

packaging. And you get more money for that, I would think. I have no idea. I totaled $2,000, which for a four-year-old is pretty good. That is pretty good. So I've put that in the savings account, which accrued 0.0001 point interest. So by the time I was 18 it was like 2032 sure yeah yeah it was great but um but i did that and then i then i took a hiatus from my career you know what i'm gonna focus on being a kid i'm being a toddler uh but by the time i was 12 i had ingested enough tv uh like partridge family and brady bunch enough kids on tv to make me go oh i think i could do that and you're in new york city i'm in new york city where there's uh there's there's no theater or film uh no there is there's lots of theater or

film in new york but i i didn't like audition for anything i i started doing school plays at like 13 i went to a theater camp in upstate New York called Stage Door Manor. That was like where by then I was 100%. Yeah. If you're at theater camp, you're gone. Yeah. My daughter went to Stage Door Manor. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah. For one year. And my ex-wife kind of finagled her in. It kind of, like, just on the cusp of being maybe just a shade too young. And my daughter was like, oh, these people are way too into this. Like, she did not go back. Yes, no, they're theater kids. And they're the nerdiest, most wonderful, annoying group of people.

Yes, yes. And especially for girls, too, because that camp was, you know, 250 girls and 40 guys. Yeah. So the girls were fighting for every part they could possibly get. You know, and they were, and God bless them, the camp would try everything. You know, plays became 12 angry women. You know, it was, they did everything to make, to employ the vast troves of young women that they had. Yeah. But it was still much more competitive for girls than for boys.

It was unbelievable to me just the whole – well, first of all, and this was what my daughter couldn't get over, was like, wake up, have some breakfast, do theater shit, go to bed. bed you know like it was just there wasn't like there's not really a lot of swimming in the lake you know it's just no volleyball no none of that and surrounded by kids that are on board with that and i just don't think she was that much and the other and then the other thing is is when we went to get her i i it's like four weeks i think is it that's yeah they have different they i think they do three week three week three week now yeah i don't know it was i think it was i think you're right i think it was three weeks and she was in a production of guys and dolls like these kids showed up one day and then three weeks later they were doing a full show dolls from beginning to end, which is I love that show, too.

So it was like, you know, I was exciting, you know, to I was like happy. It wasn't something I didn't like. But it was really, really amazing. It's just, you know. Yeah. And they know the quality of shows actually has has skyrocketed from my time there. You know, we had some we had some clunkers back in the day, but I saw the last time I went,

which admittedly was probably 10 years ago, the quality of the shows were like, holy crap. Did any of your kids go? No, no, my kids have no desire. Oh, really? No desire to be in the theater. Wow. Just not, you know, I never showed any real even interest in it.

My oldest rarely even watches movies. I can't get him to. What's he into? He's into gaming. Oh, yeah. He's into gaming. He's a software. He writes software.

He's a computer science. I think gaming is, that's a whole. Yeah. Like that was, there's a whole component of the human brain that was just waiting for gaming to be invented so they could just. Yes. You know, gaming people could just be like, okay, this is what I do. Yeah. And I, it was always kind of lost on me.

Yeah. I just didn't speak that language. Our generation should be, because we were, we were, we started with Pong. Yeah. And then we got the atari 2600 at home we should be the ones who were slowly built up yeah we should be great at this but there was a point at like my mid 30s where suddenly the skills all went away i started getting nauseous when i played star wars battlefront you know uh and you start going oh it is very violent yeah yeah and then and then it's all

downhill from there yeah i just never was i just was never good at it and i always and i really had i don't know you know like i'm not an uncoordinated person but somewhere between the brain and the fingers i just couldn't do anything and especially like i And especially if it's a game where I have to move, like walk around, I just walk into walls. I just, you know, just bet, bet, bet, bet. And I just get frustrated. I'm one of those people that if I'm not fairly good at something immediately, I'm just like, fuck this. This is garbage. Well, what the kids have become, they'll wear the full headsets.

They'll be doing it with a keyboard, not even a joystick. So they have to remember all the keystrokes as well, which is astonishing. But it's all muscle memory for them. They don't even think about it. They don't, you know. well, which is astonishing, but it's all muscle memory for them. They don't even think about it. They don't, you know, and obviously the old school Xbox controllers are somewhat helpful to me, but I'll be like, I pressed that button.

They act like I didn't press that button. I pressed that button. I know I did. Yes. I would like to speak to the algorithm, please. Exactly. So it is generational. Yeah.

I'm sad that it's not my thing anymore. But I can act in movies that are derivatives of the video games. Yes. I can do that. Right. Why not? So that's something. Yeah.

You're just waiting to be asked to be on Halo. Exactly. See, the thing is, though, if you cast me in a Halo show, you're blowing the whole Halo universe. Yeah, I know. That's the thing. That's why they don't cast me in a halo show you're blowing the whole halo universe yeah that's the thing that's why they don't cast me in those things yeah that's why i was stunned that they cast me as lex luther you know because it's like i'm blowing the entire dc but you weren't but you didn't though i didn't know i mean it was it was great because there was fan outcry when they cast me understandably right by the way i'm on their side yeah i don't want alan from two and a half men playing lex luther nobody wants that well he always seemed evil yes there's that yeah um but what was great about that was that it was actually an opportunity because they did not realize the

depth to which i was into the comics oh they did not understand that i died had the lore i knew all of it i cared about. I cared about it. I cared about it so deeply because I loved it as a kid. So it allowed me to come in and say, understand, I know how to be this guy. Trust me. And it came out great. I was really, really happy with it. And when you – was that one that you had to read for?

Like did you have to make them believe that you could be evil? No. It was very strange because i got offered it the weirdest thing i get a text from my old roommate from stage your manner who's not in the business at all anymore and he texted me he says um you're gonna get a you're gonna get a very interesting text and i was like what what is he said well this one's pretty interesting starting right away away. You already color me interested. Uh, and I said,

what are you, what's, what's up? And he said, no, you're going to, uh, uh,

you know, some people are going to be contacting you about something. You're going to, you're going to hear about it soon. I was like, what, why are you being, why are you being cryptic?

Yeah. Why, why, why does this? And then I got, uh, and then I go to literally a memorial service for another, for a counselor of mine from this summer camp. had passed away, a lovely, wonderful guy named Michael Larson.

I'm going to the memorial service, and my texts start blowing up saying what this is. But I don't want to look at my phone because I'm at a memorial service, and that's not cool. Right, right. Especially when you know it's a showbiz-y kind of thing. Well, but that's a too, because the problem with a showbiz memorial is it's long. Yeah. It is very, it's also people not only feeling bad, but letting you know they feel bad. Yes, yes.

At the depth of their, and they're singing songs about it. And they're, and so. And they love their own voices. And they love their own voices. and they talk and they have wonderful stories that go on and on until in our three of the Memorial. I finally take out my phone and I see that they're offering me Lex Luthor in the Arrowverse. And,

and I was like, and I was like, I got to take this. And so I, you know, but no, they, and, and I was like, and I was like, I got to take this. Um, and, uh, so I, you know, but no, they, they, they came to me. They said, you know, it was, it was, it was basically the, the producer was a woman named Jessica Queller, uh, and her, uh, guy named Robert Rovner said, you know, this is a, this is a header we want to take. We want to, you know, we think that, that what we want to do with this is, is something

that you can do really well. So would you consider it? And I was like, yeah. So. May I ask, had you already, like, started shaving your head? I had. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think my.

You may ask about any of my hairs anywhere on my body. Well, I would like to see them first. Well, okay. Bring in the pedestal. No, but I mean, do you think that that might have had something to do with it? I do. I do. I had started going to.

I love things when they're so simple like that. He's bald now. Yeah. Let's get him. Hey, wait a minute. That guy hasn't got hair. Yeah. No, I had started going to movie openings and stuff like that, bald, because for all through Two and a Half Men, it was really 12 seasons of the best hair and makeup crew, a SWAT team of gifted, talented individuals trying to make my hair seem like it was still on my head.

God bless them. They struggled manfully to do that. And as time went on. But as time went on, it just got less and less and less until, you know, they were just using shoe polish and every possible thing. Did they ever do a wig or make a hair piece of any kind? We did. We actually made a wig for the – had Two and a Half Men gone to one more season, the wig would have been employed. Had Two and a Half Men gone to one more season, the wig would have been employed.

But bottom line, the day after Two and a Half Men ended, I shaved my head. But that was before I had a beard, and my wife's reaction was not great. So once the beard came in, she was like, oh, okay, I've made my peace with it. Yeah, now it's okay. But at first, it was like, oh, okay, I've made my peace with you. Yeah, now it's okay. But at first it was not positive. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, I'm probably on the same page with you too. It's like all the fuss that's going into that, you just wait. You're just like, can't I just, you know.

Yeah. Guys. Can't the character like shave his head? Shave his head? Yeah. Well, actually it was fun because the writers on Two and a Half Men actually gave – had a lot of fun with that my character was battling the same thing until he started using spray-on hair. And at one point, I had to go to the super cheap brand. Which was running.

Which was running down into my eyes. Yeah. And, of course, it was made from like glass shards or something. Or fiberglass. That's what it was. Yeah. It was mostly fiberglass. So, at any rate, they were using my real-life hair loss. Your real-life trauma. For fun.

Exactly. To entertain the masses. Are you not entertained? Yeah. Well, I mean, also, too, I think, I mean, you not entertained? Yeah. Well, I mean, also, too, I think, I mean, you have kind of played nice guys, but you also have gotten to play some shitty guys and things. You've gotten to play heavies and things, you know. And I feel so lucky for that. Yeah.

Because, you know, like any business, people, you get branded. You have a brand. You know, this is, you know, like people are like,, you get branded, you have a brand. You know, this is, you know, like people like, oh, Andy Richter, he does this thing. That's what he does, you know. And you go, well, yeah, you know, but there's also, you guys could have some fun if I did this other thing. Yeah. So. And wouldn't it be fun?

Yeah, exactly. Wouldn't it be fun to see something less than, especially in this business, like, oh gosh, something that you don't expect. Yes. Like, wow. Wouldn't that be nice? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, but, but again, but I also understand, you know, when you're, you know, after I went to film school, I sort of went, oh, you know, actors are actually this tiny portion of the whole endeavor, you know? So, so by the time you've gotten everything else to go right, like you've got the, you finally got the money, you've got the studio, you've got this, you've got all this, you've got the time, everybody, you got the director, you got the cinematographer, you got this. Then you're like, I just want you to show up and be you.

Okay. Can you do the wonderful thing that I've seen you do a hundred times? Can you just do that again? Yeah. So I get it. I get it. No, I get it too. I have, you know, I feel like why, you know, and it's, it's also too, you feel like, why doesn't everyone see things in me that I don't even see in myself? And it's like, cause what the fuck are you asking for? Jesus Christ. then i also you know there's also like times when i

watch things and there's very talented people doing something that's a little outside their normal wheelhouse and i go oh i don't want to see her doing that you know or or that doesn't work you know no no yeah i don't want to see that you know uh so yeah i i mean it's there is and you know and there's there is like you look at someone on screen and there is like a animal reaction a lot of the time yeah like that like that face is evil like i don't want to see that it's not nice yeah it's half of the half of the people i've i've worked with who play heavies regularly they're the nicest people. And you're just like, once you know them and you know their warmth, you go, how can people possibly imagine these people of evil?

And then the second they're on screen, you're like, oh, yeah. That guy looks like a bad motherfucker. When you said you went to film school where did you what was i just i i i was under the impression that you hadn't gone to college that you just and that that was kind of in the research i saw like that was kind of worrisome and that i was a man of the people but instead i am an elite uh uh you know one of no no i just went to the USC you didn't give yourself options USC does this wonderful thing called Filmmakers Boot Camp

where they take six weeks and they make you make five short films oh wow it's insanity and what age were you when you did this? probably 30 something

oh wow I was a grown up I had you know I think it was probably during the trough which is the period between my first show failing on CBS and my third show failing on Fox. That's that that period I decided, you know what, I always want to go to film school. And USC does this amazing, you know, quick. I mean, it's, you know, six weeks. It's not it's not it's not their full director's program.

But it was they call it boot boot camp because, you know, they throw you in and you just have to make movies, you know, make shorts mostly. And it's so funny because you go in thinking I have a million ideas. You know, I'm my mind is just this just constant well. And you make your first short film and then your second one. You have no idea what you're going to be about. I got nothing. It's all gone after the first one. Yeah. But it was but it was an amazing experience, mostly just because I'd been in the business for many years already at that point. You know, for, you know, since I started working steadily when I was 18.

And even so, there was so much I didn't know about every other area, you know, of it. And and as again, I wish most actors could do that, could participate in something like that, because it just transforms your understanding of how everybody's doing it. Yeah, that's where I went to film school. Oh. Yeah, I went to film school in Chicago. I started out two years at University of Illinois, and then I transferred to Columbia College, Chicago, which is an arts college, a private arts college.

And then it was like the notable graduates were you know the notable uh graduates were me and pat sajak yeah okay and well and actually actually janusz kaminski the the cinematographer oh my god yeah he was there a little bit before me but it was very nuts and bolts kind of which i which in my midwesternism was very i i responded to that They weren't going to teach you a bunch of artsy fartsy stuff. They were going to teach you how to get a job in the film industry by people who had a hard time getting jobs in the film industry. But, but it was, but that was the focus of it. And, and I started, I got an internship and it, you know, it's Chicago.

So it's all commercials mostly. I mean, I 90 an internship, and it's Chicago, so it's all commercials mostly. I mean, 90% commercials, some industrial films. But also, too, the features were so unionized that I would hear from people that got to be PAs on features that they couldn't even drive themselves to the copy shop to get copies made. They would have to get a teamster to drive them. So you didn't really get kind of, because when I, you know, worked on commercials, you do a little bit of everything. And in commercials, really? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, that's news to me. Yeah, I mean, when I was four years old, they did not ask me to do anything else. When you're a PA, you know, you will like, they'll be like, can you run video assist? Because at the time it was, there was a split between split between you know there's a film camera with video assist or do you know how to do contracts and then you're doing ad work and i ended up doing props um and then started performing but being in film school is where i started performing because you go you know everybody in film school ends up being

in a movie because you all are kind of doing a round robin of different roles on the thing and if you're not bad after you screen a movie kids come up and they're like hey i saw you in that thing and you're not terrible would you want to be in my thing so my beginning acting school was being in student films in film school but the one thing that having then gone on to make my living mostly as a performer is i feel like i have an appreciation for the total thing and i and it has kept me humble in a way to where there's like i it always annoys me when there's an actor like, what's taking so long. It's like, well, you wouldn't fucking know, would you?

Cause you don't know how any of this works outside of, you know, getting your face painted and then coming out here and being pretty. Um, so yeah, I'm, I agree with you. I think it's – I wish everybody that's in the movies, like, had to load a truck or had to – When you're pulling cables, it's hard. Especially – and the great thing about pulling cables is you pull them in first thing in the morning, and then when you're tired at the end of the day, that's when you got to do all the rest of it and put them all back in the truck. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Again, this business is ridiculous, but I've loved it since I was 12.

Yeah. And most of the problems in it are all of our own making. Yeah. Yeah. all of our our own making you know yeah yeah when pretty in pink happened um like did you feel like okay now it's on now i'm going to be a big time movie star i mean yes and did your life yeah and did your life change were you like yeah noticed and everything and yes it was it was it was it was very different uh before and after. Before that, I was an actor. I had I've been lucky enough to, you know, I did No Small Affair, which was a movie with Demi Moore.

And I did a movie with Robert Altman and I did Broadway. And, you know, but but and, you know, and every now and then you'll have somebody who say, oh, I enjoyed yourself. But it's few and far between when the things aren't hits, you know, and every now and then you'll have somebody who say, oh, I enjoyed your stuff. But it's few and far between when the things aren't hits, you know. And Pretty in Pink was like this seismic teen thing. Yeah. And it was like the number one movie for three weeks or something ridiculous back then. And so and my character was so much fun in that in that movie. It was like, you know, it was a – it was a sort of loud part.

So, yeah, it was suddenly I was considered a different person. Yeah. And that – and thankfully because I grew up in a household with people in the theater, I understood that. I understood that it's bullshit that will happen for a while. And hopefully what you do is you just use that as personal capital to get other parts that you, that you want to, to, to, to do. But that the side stuff, you know, it, it comes, it goes, there'll be times when it's, when it's very acute and there's a lot of it.

And then there's times when nobody cares about you. So I sort of knew that even when I was 20. Yeah, I think I was 21 when that came out. And you can sort of laugh at the magical powers you suddenly have. Before that, there was a club called Danceteria in New York City. And my sister used to take me because she wanted to introduce me to the nightlife. She knows I like the nightlife. I love to boogie.

And we'd get there and because she was female and attractive, she would get ushered in and I'd be like, see ya. While I waited outside while I cooled my heels on the sidewalk. But once you're in a movie where you're like the hipster teenager, suddenly, suddenly everybody wants you in their club.

Suddenly the doors to Danceateria fling wide. Yeah. And suddenly you have these inhuman superpowers for a little while. Yeah. You know. Sure. Yeah, sure. And so that's that that was, you know, eye opening and, you know, again, fun for a little while.

But, you know, mostly just surreal, you know, just you just like you sort of can't believe you're there. You know, it's like I mean, that has to happen to you sometimes. I mean, you've you've had this amazing career. You've done this a long time. And, you know, you go to the openings and, you know, and you're like, oh, there's Anne Hathaway and all these glamorous people. And you're like, and there's me. Yeah. Absolutely.

Absolutely. I mean, I got – my experience was unique just because being on a talk show, you have like a little roster of famous people, a bearing degrees every day. Yeah. So it's sort of like, you know, like a vaccination against famous people. You just get a little taste of it every day. I am immune to your charm. Yeah. But then, but then, yeah, like I went, I, we got to go once to the, my ex-wife and I got invited to the Vanity Fair Oscar party.

And hilariously, we're like, you're invited in waves. Have you ever been to that party? No, no. You're invited in, it was only once. I was expecting, all right, now we're in. There we go. But, you know, there's like, there's like the people that get invited to then watch the whole ceremony. And then there's the people like, then there's a, you can come in right after the ceremony.

And I think ours was something like two or three hours after the ceremony ended. Like, do not arrive before 9 p.m. or something like that. But it's still, it was like, you know, it was weird to to go up to the bar and look to my right. And it's like, oh, that's fucking Salman Rushdie, Nicole Kidman and J-Lo, you know, just chatting it up. You know, it's very, very strange. Yes. And it's fun to be an observer of those things. Yes. You know, you go, oh, okay, there's rules. There's different rules here.

Yeah. You know, and these people are just people and they're weird. Yes. And they are weird. Yeah. Really famous people are really weird. And many of them are uncomfortable outside of being around really famous people. Yes.

Which is very, it just feels like that doesn't, I would not want that. Yeah. You know, but, you know. It's an odd existence. Yeah. You know, yeah. And a lot of them

have severe social anxiety. You know, interestingly, like, interesting thing about Charlie Sheen, you know, a guy who I worked with

for eight years on Two and a Half Men, he confessed halfway through, like, the first season that he has a very hard time with our table reads, you know, the first read- through of the script that we have every week on the show because he has terrible social anxiety.

And I was like, what? You're the party guy, you know? And he's like, oh, no, you know, because he had because apparently he had a stutter growing up. And so that sort of influenced who he was and gave him lifelong social anxiety that I'm sure part of his substance abuse issues is self-medicating. Absolutely. Absolutely. Was that – because I do – I mean I'm sure you've talked about him ad nauseum. But was working with him, was there a point at which where you're like, oh, this is going to become inefficient?

You know, like this guy's personality is going to complicate everyone's day. Yes. That moment, although that moment did not happen in his presence. It happened. I was driving to the studio for a regular day of work. Like which season are we this would probably be like the sixth season so there was still already a while to go yeah yeah um but still a good long time but we had had of getting used to like this is a normal grown-up place to work and this is we're a great run we're we're a machine that works really smoothly. You know, Charlie had broken up with Denise Richards in the first year, second year of the show, something like that.

And so that was already a little bit of a telltale sign. But as I said, like sixth season or so, I was driving into work and there's the morning jocks on K-Rock, as a matter of fact, local L.A. music station. And they said, Charlie Sheen went on the Alex Jones show and talked about how 9-11 was an inside job. And I was like, wait a minute. Because my Charlie Sheen? My Charlie Sheen. My family man, Charlie Sheen. Family man, Charlie Sheen.

You know, that was the first sort of whiff of me going, oh, he's, you know, he's dealing maybe with some paranoia. A break from reality. He's dealing with something that's not just, you know, a guy who still wants to party every now and then. Yeah. You know. And you hadn't experienced that. Like you didn't. He wasn't spouting conspiracy theory stuff

around the set or anything. Then he did start spouting. Literally that day I went in and I was like, dude, what are you talking about? And we're in the middle

of the makeup room where everybody's just trying to get their jobs done. You know, and he's like starting to go off about this and I'm looking around the room and everybody's sort of,

there's like these furtive glances going around going, what is he talking about? And I'm the only one saying dude you get that that's crazy right uh you mean you get that that doesn't actually make any rational sense you know that like at one point he was saying well they they flew the planes into the into the world trade center because they were trying to destroy the evidence of all the because you know there was an fbi office in one of the buildings they're like they were trying to destroy the evidence of all the, because, you know, there was an FBI office in one of the buildings.

And they were like, they were trying to destroy all the evidence in the FBI office. I was like, there's probably an easier way to do that. A shredder. Exactly. And if you don't, I mean, I hate to bring up memories of 9-11 in a comedy podcast, but all of New York was coated with about a two foot high uh uh uh layer of documents after that because there was all these businesses in there and it spread those things all over lower manhattan so it's again it makes no rational sense whatsoever you know and he was saying oh a cruise

missile hit the pentagon it's like there's literally a landing gear in the midst of the wreckage. You know, you can see it. It's in the pictures. Yeah. You know, so and nobody else was willing to sort of contradict him in that situation. Yeah. It's all a weird situation. You know, they don't have the leverage that.

No. You're, you know, one or have the leverage that no you're you know one or two on the call sheet at that point and so that was the moment where i went oh okay something different's going on here you know he's not and and and i would make my arguments and he would scoff and it was like yeah sure mr establishment you know i become suddenly i'm the the representative of the establishment um you know, we got on fine. We still did a fun show, you know, but it started getting like he was using again. OK, where we can tell he's using again.

And then there was, you know, he's starting to get accused of crimes and there's like all, you know, and he had to go to rehab and he got arrested, if you recall. So it that but that was like the first moment that I went, oh, something's up with Charlie. Do you, I mean, did you guys have a relationship where you could sort of talk to him as a friend about it or was it just kind of, it was- Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I thought so.

Yeah. And actually like Chuck Lorre, who was his sort of bête noire, who he was, you know, Chuck Lorre ran the show, ran Two and a Half Men. He's one of the most prolific and well-regarded showrunners. And he and Charlie went to AA meetings together for years. And they consider themselves really – or Chuck considered himself a very close friend of Charlie's. And both of us tried to talk to him and say, hey, we can tell

something's up. You may need help. And he was just not in a place to listen for it. He didn't react angrily to me. I don't know if he did to Chuck, but he just said, don't worry, I got this under control. That was his thing. And the crazy thing during all of the craziness, he still showed up to work and he got it done and he knew his lines, you know, and, you know, like he'd show up to work even when somebody pushed his Mercedes off a cliff. You know, he was a little, you know, he's 20 minutes late because somebody pushed his Mercedes off a cliff. And they did that twice, by the way. Wow. I mean, I'm sure, you know, you have a much better memory of all of the ins and outs of it than I do. Have you kept in touch with him at all?

No, not at all. No. The last time we saw each other was when he asked me, he wanted to start the show up again. I'd already done, I think two seasons with Ashton and he said, Hey, I want to start the show back up again. Let's just forget that those two seasons happened at all.

And we'll just, you know, it'll be a show, it'll be a show called the Harper's and, and, and, and, you know,

we'll just ignore that. I was like, dude, you know, you've shown me that when it's going great is when you blow it up. So I don't know if I can be a part of that. Right, and that didn't go over. No, yeah.

I mean, he was apologetic, and he told me that the reason for the midnight web rants when he went absolutely bonkers. I don't know. It's weird because it was 12 years ago. It was a fairly long time ago that that happened. And so there's a lot of people that go, oh, wait, that happened? You know?

Yeah, yeah. Because it was such a bizarre, nightmarish episode. Yeah, because she got rolled into it at a certain point a little bit. It was crazy. And I did a bit on Conan, actually. We did a very funny bit on Conan about it. But it was so nuts. And it was a, if you recall, it was like the first internet shitstorm.

Yeah. Because it was just huge. It was like all over the world. And he would go on in the middle of the night and just rant these crazy ramblings for hours. And anybody could tune in. And anybody could tune in. And anybody could tune in anytime they wanted to. And, you know, I – he – it just was such a particular time, you know, that I didn't even – I didn't know how on earth to deal with it at all at the time.

Yeah, yeah. And plus my job was hanging in the balance. Right, right. So, but he did, oh, but what he admitted at this meeting was that what drove him off the deep end there was steroids. He had started doing, it was roid rage. Wow. He had started doing, it was roid rage. He had started doing testosterone. And so that just fueled these, you know, that and some other

stuff. God knows what else was going on. But he did apologize, you know. That's nice because it is, you know, I'm sure that there's equal parts heartbreak and frustration. You know, like, sure that I'm sure that there's equal parts heartbreak and frustration, you know, like because at a certain point it is like this is a workplace and we're all grownups. And you got to you got to keep your stuff in your own bucket and not slosh it all over everybody else.

And that and it. I mean, you know, I'm I'm very much a live and let live person. But, you know, you got to – it's work. And all of us in the cast were also sort of traumatized by worrying that he was going to die. You know, I mean, that was where a lot of it came from. Again, the heartbreaking thing for Chuck Lorre was that he thought that they were close friends, and he was terrified for him for all that time. Yeah. And when that friendship just collapsed, it was very hard.

Actually, apparently, they have reconciled. Charlie actually makes an appearance in Bookie, which is Chuck's latest show for Max. And actually, Angus T. Jones, the guy who played my son, is in it as well. And they have a bunch of two-and-a-half-man Easter eggs in there that are fun. But yeah, you know,

so, I mean, it can happen. You know, people can find grace after all this time. Yeah. can't you tell my loves because that was such a nice run for you and you mentioned it earlier that there was you know you were ducky and then you were you know you you had a number of of swings and misses at television which happens and and what during that time how do you keep yourself going like how do you kind of think like this is going to be okay you know maybe getting back to that compartmentalizing kind of you know um thankfully during my my period uh i got to do a show called

andy richter saves the universe controls the universe oh controls the universe that's what it was that's yeah i came up with people to ask about that title and i yeah i came up with it and it's terrible because no one can remember it but they want they wanted to have my name it was originally called anything can happen and they want oh no that's bad they wanted to have my name in the title which i was not like i'm not a big, that's not me. And also too, I'm like, what if it fucking sucks? You know? It did not, by the way. That show was great.

Thank you. Yeah. And you came on and you're, I forget the name of your character. It was like, because you had like a great character name because you were a dick. I was a dick. Again, yes. I get to play dick sometimes. It was the guy who was this incredible dick, and everybody decides they're going to play a horrible practical joke on him when he goes out to dinner with Andy.

But at the dinner, he tells Andy, oh, by the way, I'm taking you out to dinner because I have cancer. Yes, yes, yes. I'm diagnosed with cancer. And now that my office has been filled with manure. That's what it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys, you've got it. And I say, please keep it under your hat. Yeah.

Cut to you going, guys, he has cancer. Yeah. But but no, the way that I kept it together during the the fallow periods is, again, you know, thankfully, growing up with my parents, you know, I just understand how this is, you know, and you just, uh, uh, take it a day at a time. Although I have to say, I did start thinking, you start getting to that place where you go, oh, wait a minute, am I going to have to find an alternate career year? And I've, I haven't, I didn't go to college as you had to bring up. Uh, uh, so I, my, my things are kind of limited. But, you know, so I was like, can I teach acting? It's like, I don't even know how I do this.

I don't know. You just kind of do it, right? I just want to show up and do it. But at the same time, you know, I was smart enough, again, because of my parents, that because I had that flurry of success early, I saved my money. Yeah. So that I never got into like serious, you know, I mean, there was right before Two and a Half Men happened, there was a financial crunch that I was like, oh, I'm in a house that I like right now. An apartment would be a lot less expensive and I may have to move. But, you know, that's, you know, obviously that's a choice people have to make sometimes, you know.

But Two and a Half Men just happened to happen at exactly the right time. Did, if I may, did like, did that sort of career insecurity, did that affect your personal life too i mean was it hard on relationships or oh yeah i was married at the time and yes it was very hard it was very hard and and uh uh and my ex-wife at the time also a performer so and she was hitting a rough time as well because there's there's a time when uh act for for female actors they – you know, if they can work steadily in TV as ingenues, then they have to transition into either moms or cops. Yeah. You know, and she was trying to negotiate the transition. Yeah.

But it was very hard. Yeah. And so it was both of us hitting that wall at the same time. So that was brutal. Yeah. That was absolutely brutal. How do you, I mean, because your wife now, she's a television performer, but in like news and. Yes, yes. Yeah.

But do you find that it's easier for someone to kind of be closer to this, to what you do, you know, to be in a relationship with someone that's closer to what you do or just, you know, it was in the same ballpark. Actually, yes, I I suggest for all actors get entertainment journalists as your spouse because they get all stories about your stories about you. They understand everything is going down. They they get how dumb it is. Yeah, they're right on board with you without how dumb it is. dumb it is yeah they're right on board with you without how dumb it is uh uh and and my wife is a is what what lisa joiner's her name and she was she's mostly known for hosting a show called the long lost family which was this really beautiful show where they would go all over america and reunite families and it was a great way for her to get on air post bbs ripped her off yeah bastard yeah gates kind of something i guess yeah uh but uh but she uh uh but she

that was a great thing because it was a confluence of a job she could do well and a job she loved yeah and that doesn't happen all that often um so so but so she gets you know that there's there's things you're passionate about and then there's gigs that you just take. Yeah, yeah. You know, but she also is a wonderful producer. So, she is – so, the nice thing about being a producer is there's always stuff in the air. You know, you always – you can be self-motivated. You're always making calls. You're always – there's always something happening. Yeah, yeah.

And so, that actually psychologically takes me away from the panic of I got no job right now. Right. Because there's always – I produce stuff with her and that makes me always – gives me the illusion that I have some power over my existence. Yeah. And I mean I imagine then too like if you do have to go away – if you do have to go to Vancouver for a while, then you're still working on things with each other. Yes. On a day to day basis. Yes.

And it's also lovely for our marriage because it keeps us in constant conflict. No, no, it keeps us working together towards something. Right. Right. Yeah. And and we're not the you know, we were very lucky in that we genuinely just have a great time together. Yeah. And it's been that way, you know, we were married in 2007.

And it's just been, you know, that's been the best part of my life. Yeah. Currently, your current project is on NBC called Extended Family. Yes, also on Peacock. Not sure if you're aware of that. Thank you for reminding me um now the the the sort of successful network sitcom is a dying oh my gosh you know and i mean and i'm and i it just i wonder what it's like to work on a multi-camera sitcom that's and i i mean

is the show doing pretty well? It's doing okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's doing well. Um, we are after Night Court, which is, which was a shocking hit out of, you know, a lot of people like, Hey, there's, you know, network sitcom is back because Night Court is doing well.

And yeah, they put us after it and we've been doing well after it as well. Um, uh, it's, but, but yeah, it is, it's interesting. It, it, That was intentional. NBC was like, you know, we used to have must-see TV, and it was multicam sitcoms. Yeah. And it's an underserved market. You know, all the streamers are mostly making single-camera comedies, which, to the uninitiated, they're different because they don't have an audience. You don't hear the laugh track.

You know, I mean, the multi-camera format has been around since, you know, Honeymooners. I Love Lucy. All those things. And it is a format that fell out of critical favor. It's come in waves. You know, every now and then the critics really take one really take one to their, to their heart, you know? Well, because it varies so wildly. Yes.

You know, you, for every friends, there's 10. Be nice. Not so good. Because I was on a couple of them. Oh, I believe me. I, well, you know, I, like I said, my IMDB, there's like two or three things that I'm pretty proud of, you know? No, I, but it is, it is, it's like two or three things there I'm pretty proud of, you know. No, but it is.

And it is so just ingrained on us in a way that where it's almost difficult to, you know, it's like if you're going to make tuna noodle casserole, it's hard to make a mind-blowing tuna noodle casserole because it's tuna noodle casserole. And there's just – you have this expectation of what it's like. You're so used to it. And that was always like when I – from coming from late night in New York City and coming out here and sitting in writers' rooms, and there was always like the least funny person in the room was always the guy that was like had to talk to you about the structure and i'm just like a fucking 10 year old kid knows the structure of a sitcom like there's so like there's just the it's so ingrained into us and that's why i think it's just like it is it's you know there are really really good ones and it's really hard to do a good's just like it is it's you know there are really really good ones

and it's really hard to do a good one though it really is it is you know and to make it look effortless and like like the fraziers and the cheers and the friends and you know uh rosanne rosanne yeah yeah uh rosanne interestingly if you watch like the first season of rosanne it's an incredibly sloppy show yeah and it's wonderful in that because the family just feels sloppy and American and real. Yeah. You know, and you go, oh, OK. And like there's the camera angles are screwed up and like you're like, what? There's nothing, you know, do they not care?

It's like it was all part of the vibe of it, you know? And and so when when we were when NBC came and said, we want to, you know, do a real multicam sitcom with this script, would you want to be on board? And I was just like – it's a silly concept. It's silly on purpose. Yeah. his wife live in a, they share an apartment with his, with her ex-husband real thing. Yeah. Because they didn't want the kids to once the, when the,

when the original couple was divorced, they didn't want the kids to have to move back and forth. And it's created this wonderful friendship between the three of them, actually a wick and his wife and Amelia and George, the ex-husband. And, and that's, we kind of, we wanted it to be a light divorce. That's what we wanted

to do, a successful divorce. And we thought that was a fun idea. Because they're not much fun. They're not. They're really not fun. They're not. So, you know, that's what I sort of signed up for. And it's been a lovely experience to be back in front of an audience. It was really fun because we were in the first shows to come back with an audience after COVID. Yeah. Which was a little bit surreal because everybody's wearing masks, which sort of muffles them a little bit in the audience. And they were a little farther away. They just moved them farther away.

They're in Culver City city we're in santa monica uh but um but it was wonderful to be back in front of a crowd again and there's nothing i mean you've done them i'm sure you know yeah i mean performing in front of the audience is just this great fun thing especially when the audience knows you when they when the show's been on for a little bit and they know the characters already and they know where you're going yeah and uh and there's the you know there's nothing like it do you have a preference between a comedy in front of an audience and a comedy no i love i i i love doing a different stuff i do get restless i do you know that i did two and a half men for 12 years is astonishing to me. Yeah, yeah. Because I do, like, when I'm in

my groove for a while on something, for some reason I want to blow that to hell and do something else. Yeah, it's an attention, you know, there's only so much, you know, especially if you, you know, one of the things that's really great about this business is how much change there is.

And how many new faces and new places. And if you respond to that, then it's always, like that was, that was, I've been in plays, but the notion of saying

the same lines I've ever, you know, or doing standup and saying, you know, like I'm going to work really hard to say the same things

over and over. That was always like like that doesn't sound like much fun you know um but somebody my dad did phantom of the opera for 19 years it is 17 years on the road and then two years on broadway wow which is insanity to me and same part and he loves the show still loves the show yeah uh uh he, I mean, did he ever say like sometimes like, oh my God. Oh yes.

Oh yes. There was days. Yes, absolutely. Right. You know, it's eight shows a week. Sure.

But he loved. Shitty audiences can make a big difference too. Yes. The nice thing about doing Phantom of the Opera is wherever they were, it was like

Phantom of the Opera being in town was like the biggest deal. So he enjoyed that too. He got to meet all kinds of people. And, you know, you feel like you're the biggest show in town. You're in Albuquerque, you know. And so, but yeah, I could not have done that.

I could not have done 19 years of the same show. Yeah. I hope that doesn't insult him. No. I hope my dad isn't like, what the fuck? What do you think? You're so fucking great. You can't do, can't have a high paying, good job traveling around the world.

Yeah. Is that your problem, son? Mr. Afraid to wear a mask. Well, what do you, I mean, is there stuff left undone for you? Is there things? No, I'm done. I'm done, Andy. I'm done.

I've seen it all. I've done it all. Beautiful women. Lie down on that box and take that eternal nap. I'm ready. No, I do. It's interesting because my sister was a makeup artist for a long time and she she actually worked on two and a half men uh with me she was uh she was my makeup artist

i don't know she's just uh but no in her defense she was on it everybody loves raymond for nine seasons before that so she's very kidding i'm not saying very in demand makeup artist right um at any rate uh still benefited from nepotism it's very important that we deal with that yes um but um she uh i was talking to her and she and i and i said oh i'm doing a gig do you want to come and do my makeup and she said oh john i'm retired and you didn't know this is the first person in my circle of my people vaguely my age who has uttered that sentence. I am retired. Wow. And I was like, because, you know, she's in fabulous health.

And, you know, it's like, why not enjoy your life? You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like that does not even occur to me. It does not even occur to me. I'm going to die on this set. I'm going to, you know, they're going to be like, cut. John?

John? Somebody check on John. Yeah, I mean, because I feel the same way because, like, I got a little taste of it during the pandemic. I felt like it was sort of a it was like being retired in a way you know

especially yeah well just because you know i had an income but i didn't really have to you know we were doing the conan show still but it was i mean i had to like tape i was literally taping bits myself uh you know like on my phone setting my phone up on a tripod and doing like bits that, you know, the writers would send me and I, you know, going and buying props for my own little bits that I was doing in my house. And, and then, you know, and I would get a bit and I would do, I would do it and it would take, you know, 45 minutes and then it'd be like, oh, well, that's over. I'm done for the day more walls to stare at but yeah i i i can't you know this is still fun yeah it's still fun it can be you know there are

long days and there are different jobs that could be tedious but it's still so much fun you know yeah when i was doing supergirl i was doing all this dumb stuff like they doing you know they're hoisting me on a thing in front of the green screen and stuff like that and i'm like i am i'm too old for this yeah but i'm not i really enjoy this stuff it's very silly and you're doing stunts like oh your sister's gonna shoot you and then you gotta fall behind the desk and i was like okay i gotta figure out how i'm gonna you know fall without bashing my skull or whatever yeah and i love that i love those challenges you know uh uh and and uh you know no i'm not uh i'm not looking to stop anytime soon i'll be that old character actor that was like oh jesus second crier shows up like oh boy don't ask about charlie sheen he's got stories.

Well, what do you feel like is the most important thing you've learned from this? Are we getting to the three questions part? You've been answering them the whole time without even knowing. You got me, Andy Richter. It's my real brilliance. You got me. The most important thing I've learned. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. That is my motto.

It will be on my tombstone. No, I don't have some grand thing that's helpful to anybody, I don't think. I mean, you know, learn your your lines that's a big one yeah that's that got me fired from my very first job and uh and still to this day uh helps every time i just work work work the lines like a mofo i'm way better than if i go like no i know it you know it's like no keep working it keep working it because if it's really in there you know, it's like, no, keep working it. Keep working it. Because if it's really in there, you know, you're going to excel. So everybody, mailmen, software programmers, learn your lines. It will help you. Well, I think you can extrapolate that into don't ever slip on the basics.

Yes. There you go. Thank you, Andrew. You're welcome. You're welcome you're welcome yeah because that is that is really because i have always i i i have there have been times when i have been and it usually is because like i was just not in a good place in life and in mentally when i've been on jobs and kind of half-assed it. It was usually guest things.

It was rare. If I'm on the call sheet every day, I'm going to be serious, but I'm a guest star. What the fuck? No, but there were times when I let my guard down and I was sloppy and I didn't know my line so well. And it is, it's embarrassing. It's, you know, it just feels, it doesn't make,

if I'm already not feeling great about myself, it certainly doesn't help. You know what I mean? So, yeah. And it is kind of, and then you have that to just sort of rest on. You're at least doing the sort of minimum basics you at least you're at least you're doing doing the sort of minimum basics by the way i'd work on my lines i still fuck them up all the time if that makes you feel any better well it's nice to well that kind of show too you know that's

it is it is actually the most forgiving possible format i remember i remember going because very you know i hadn't done a lot of multi-camera and i did a guest spot on will and grace when they were one of the best yeah when they were in their sort of like you know and i was i was i had to have i had all my shit together was going to be those fuckers did none of them knew their lines they would come out like like the first like here we go, everybody. Welcome to Will and Grace. And Sean comes out and fucks up his first line, you know. And I was just like, wait a minute.

And it doesn't matter because they just cut around it and it's all fun and loose anyway. And the audience loves it. They love nothing more than to see behind the curtain and see. They're usually gifts, too. and the mistakes are usually gifts. There you go. Yeah. That's what I've learned. The mistakes are gifts.

Well, I hope this wasn't a mistake, John Cryer. I'm rethinking it as we speak. Because it was great to see you. Good to see you as well. We used to live in the neighborhood. Right. We used to see each other at the – I used to see you and your wife at the Warner Brothers gym. Yes.

That was our regular sort of hang and how we kind of got to keep up with each other. Yes, and how we worked out and sweated. Yes, absolutely. And I don't do that anymore. I don't do that anymore either. I let my trainer go during COVID and just never kind of got back on that. And honestly, the times that I have gotten back working out, I feel worse. Isn't it?

Like, I hurt if I don't do shit. You know, I mean, I walk and I play golf and, you know, and everything. But I don't, I'm not lifting weights and doing crunches anymore. I was militant when I was at Warner Brothers. I was in the gym a lot there. No, I still do work out, but it's like down to twice a week. Oh, well, you really left me out to dry there. I'm not an idiot.

I'm not a total... I'm not a lazy slob. Yeah, but you're not at Warner Brothers anymore. No, no. We, the crazy thing is I shoot at Radford, which is fully a block from my house. Oh my God. Which is great. Yeah, that is.

Which is, yeah, for those, Radford is a very old studio. Like it's where they shot Seinfeld and Will and Grace as a matter of fact. Yeah, yeah. I think Mary Tyler Moore was the first big one there. There, yeah. But it's Gilligan's Island. It's in they shot Seinfeld and Will and Grace, as a matter of fact. I think Mary Tyler Moore was the first big one there. Yeah. But it's Gilligan's Island. It's in the valley. It's kind of a tumbledown studio.

Yeah. But it's very centrally located, so it's great. And now you're a minute from there, and your life is very enviable, and I hate you. Great. That is great that we've arrived at that at the end of the podcast. I know it's a good podcast, but at the end, I'm like, I hate you, and goodbye. Goodbye. All right.

Well, thank you very much, John. The pleasure was mine. And tell Lisa I said hi. I will. And thank all of you out there for listening, and I'll be back next week with more three questions. I mean, the same ones, basically. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco production. It is produced by Sean Doherty and engineered by Rich Garcia.

Additional engineering support by Eduardo Perez and Joanna Samuel. Executive produced by Nick Liao, Adam Sachs, and Jeff Ross. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, with assistance from Maddie Ogden. Research by Alyssa Grahl. Don't forget to rate and review and subscribe to The Three Questions with Andy Richter wherever you get your podcasts.

And do you have a favorite question you always like to ask people? Let us know in the review section. Can't you tell my love's a-growing? Can't you feel it ain't a-showing? Oh, you must be a-knowing. I've got a big,

big love. This has been a Team Coco production.