The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Matt Walsh
Episode Date: March 17, 2020Actor, comedian, and UCB co-founder Matt Walsh talks with Andy Richter about childhood injuries, complicated award show feelings, and the genesis of the Upright Citizens Brigade. Plus, Matt discusses ...his work with Defy Ventures and shares advice he’d give to his younger self.
Transcript
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I love being on it.
I was having fun with, I was, I'm half serious.
Like I'm glad I get to come in and I've listened to a bunch.
First of all, I'm a fan.
Thank you.
And my placement in the timeline of your new show does not affect
me in any way. If I was first, I would be honored.
If I was now, I'm honored.
And I was teasing you that I
didn't want to come on until you
had worked the kinks out. Right.
But, what kinks? This show
is fucking hot from the get-go. Are we doing
notes? I'll do notes. I mean,
I have a lot of notes about your podcast. Tell me what you want.
Well, I have a question for you.
Give it to me.
What makes a good interview?
Somebody that's willing to share.
Someone that's willing to do some introspection.
And I'm willing, because I'm willing to.
I'm willing to do some introspection.
And there have been things that I have said on this podcast that I have later been like,
maybe I shouldn't have said that.
And then I think, eh, it's all, you know, like what, what am I saying? Like I have warts, you know, I'm human.
I have weaknesses and revealing. Yeah. I have weaknesses and fears like, so what, who doesn't?
And, but there are people that definitely. Is it vulnerable? Is it that having a guest who
is willing to be vulnerable?
Vulnerable? No. To me, vulnerable, I'm not here just... I mean, this turns quickly serious.
I don't want this show to be exploitative or voyeuristic. I want it to be introspection.
I want to hear people thinking about themselves and trying to figure out why they
are the way they are, because that to me is like close to the essence of what you're supposed to
do with your time on this planet. So, and there are some people to whom introspection and is not like anything they're that interested you know it's
like it's like me and hockey like well you know I can see it seems like fun but no it's not for me
you know and I think there's a lot of people and I've had people on the show that I just you just
kind of get the sense like okay this is not something you're into and I you know fuck I
there's times you know like in some woody allenish
way i wish i wasn't so goddamn navel gazey and up my own ass and yeah you know yeah pass me the
probiotics uh for the hands oh you mean uh i call it probiotics for the hands it's it's not it's
antibiotics it's murder he's purelling it up folks we've started by the way do you know that You mean, I call it probiotics for the hands. It's not. It's antibiotics.
It's murder.
He's Purell-ing it up, folks.
We've started, by the way.
Do you know that?
Yeah, of course.
Of course.
Your show is professional.
I am.
I mean, you people know that I'm talking to Matt Walsh.
You three questioners know that this is Matt Walsh.
And my question was sincere, like, what makes a good interviewer?
Yes.
Somebody who has their own show now.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
No, and I mean, I don't, I mean, definitely, I try not to think about it too much.
I try not to think about how am I interviewing this person so it goes out into the world and is listened to.
I think about what do I want to know from this person and what conversation do I have with this person?
Got it. Do I want to know from this person and what conversation do I have with this person? Got it.
Do I want to have with this person?
Because I do feel that if I'm not following what I want as me, it's not going to be as good.
And I just have to have a trust in that the honesty and the truthfulness of me being me, whether it's on camera, on the Conan show, or here in this studio on a podcast, that's going to make the best show.
And that's just like a philosophy that I have around. And I see people who aren't themselves
in situations where the idea of the show is be yourself for this, however long it's on TV,
be yourself, be yourself and pursue what you want out of this hour. Then it's going to be
way more interesting than if you're thinking about what an audience wants. It just lays on too much thought and motivation.
Well, it's a gamble.
It's also a gamble.
Yeah, you might be fucking wrong.
Your predictive abilities may be very disappointing.
Yes.
Yes.
So true.
To predict an audience's reaction to something you find funny or perfect.
Yeah.
But your gut is true.
I agree with that.
Your gut tells you where the goodness for
you lies yeah in a very simple way yes and i live that way too and i try to be an artist that way as
well yeah and also too it's my life you know what i mean like i'm i gotta f to the yeah yeah you've
earned this stuff well it's like yeah i'm gonna do what i want to do because it's i it may be a
convenient rationale that like oh yeah it's also like makes the best whatever this is but it's, it may be a convenient rationale that like, oh yeah, it's also like makes the best whatever this is.
And I mean, when I even like, when I host a game show,
I'm a slave to the game because the game shows, it
annoys me when I'm in game shows and they want me to be, they write me jokes.
Like, no, fuck the jokes, man. Let's get to the game and be funny
in the game.
But it's the same thing.
I want to play the game, and I want to be in the game, and I want to do what I want to do.
And I think that that makes me better than if I was to read the jokes and do as I'm told.
Right.
And yes, that's a convenient rationale.
But I also do, I mean, now that I'm older, I do think like, yeah, no, that's, I'm the one living this.
I'm the one, you know, hosting this game show.
I'm the one hosting this podcast.
If I'm having a shitty time, why am I doing it?
You know, I mean, paycheck, yeah.
But simpler, but it's simpler too in that you're not like managing anything other than what you're sort of liking to do right in that moment well and also think in this business of phonies how many how many people
you know that you're just like when you meet them and they're like especially like some of the bigs
that are actual genuine real cool people how fucking amazing and electric that is yeah you
know what i mean yeah because there's so many of them that are just like you just feel like oh they're like i feel like i'm reading a brochure in human form
you know well anyway personalities anyway yeah yeah yeah yeah um i don't want enough about this
because i want everyone to know how much i love you i love you too and what an important person
you are and how this is practice.
This is as close.
This is show one.
Again, I'm saying this is show one.
Right.
This is really when your show.
I worked out the kinks.
This is when your show takes off.
Right.
This interview.
Fuck you, Ken Jennings.
You were practice.
Now I'm really fucking.
I didn't listen to Ken Jennings.
That's a good one.
Yeah, yeah.
No, Ken's great. Ken's hilarious. I mean, you know. Is he going to host Jeopardy? I don't fucking. I didn't listen to Ken Jennings. That's a good one. Yeah, yeah. No, Ken's great.
Ken's hilarious.
I mean, you know.
Is he going to host Jeopardy?
I don't know.
Okay.
I don't know.
I'm just, you're in show business.
I know, but she's, what are you, TMZ?
No, just a curious neighbor.
No, I don't know.
I don't know what he's going to do.
I live in Toluca Lake, right around the corner.
I actually think that who's going to host.
I should have ridden my bike.
Who's going to host Jeopardy is now such an untoward question
that it's not spoke up.
Oh, insensitive?
I'm sorry.
Yeah, no, that's all right.
I'm sorry.
I love Alex Trebek.
Come on.
I know, but I mean,
but that whole
who's going to host Jeopardy next
has been just in the ether.
Because I'm sort of like
just tangentially
in the Jeopardy world.
Sure.
Because I was on Jeopardy
as a celebrity.
And then I become, I become, you know, realopardy world. Sure. Because I was on Jeopardy as a celebrity.
And then I become real friends with Ken.
Yeah.
So I kind of know a little bit. The world.
You know the world.
You know the universe.
Yeah.
A little bit about it.
And I know the people.
Well, I hiked by Alex's.
Alex has a beautiful home in the valley.
Yeah.
And I've occasionally seen him pull throughout the driveway or something.
I'm not a stalker in any way.
But I'm very fond of that guy.
And he works on that house all the time.
Like I've heard.
I wouldn't know.
I've never been.
Oh, he just is.
I've never been to his house, but I just know that like his schedule is not very much.
So what he does with the, and he even said once, he's like, I do a lot of work on my home.
I'm putting in a new bathroom myself.
And I drink a lot of wine. Like that was, that was like, he was like, this is what I do a lot of work on my home. I'm putting in a new bathroom myself, and I drink a lot of wine.
He was like, this is what I do with myself.
He may have had one of the most wonderful, perfect careers.
It's pretty goddamn cool.
He's pretty smart, and he seems half whatever.
You get to be beloved, and you never have to break a sweat.
Yeah.
And you can crank out a bunch of shows.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, he's good at it.
And it's smart.
He's good at it, too.
It's not just like he dropped into it, you know.
But anyway, people, I was about to say, this is about as close as I will get probably to having family on this show.
I think of you about that close because we've known each other.
We've known each other forever.
I have known you possibly longer than any other current member of my life.
Yeah, I came out of college as a psych major and discovered the Annoyance Theater and discovered improv when I was going to Northern.
And then at the Annoyance Theater in the late 80s, I met you.
Ed Furman was sort of a condor.
Was it Annoyance first or ImprovOlympic first?
Because we were involved in both.
For me, whoa, you're really going to throw me.
I don't know.
Really?
Wow.
I can't remember.
A lot of drugs, folks.
No, my entree into theater was kind of, I did improv at Players Workshop. And then when I moved.
As classes.
Classes.
Yeah.
My last year of college. And then when I moved downtown, I moved to Halstead and Addison.
Tell me when you think your viewers would be bored with this.
They're listeners.
Listeners.
Yeah, yeah.
Halstead and Addison.
If they're watching this, I don't know what they're listeners. Listeners. Yeah, yeah. Halstead Madison. If they're watching this, I don't know what they're seeing.
And we lived above a Thai restaurant that was being built, so our heat got shut off occasionally.
It was very impoverished. And during the day, I was working on a psych ward because I was considering being a psychologist, like I thought.
And so I worked with adolescent psych kids, 12 to 20, and that was really intense.
And we were part of the nursing staff.
Wow.
12 to 20, and that was really intense, and we were part of the nursing staff.
Wow.
And we had meetings, and we studied their pathologies,
and a lot of medications were being tested back then in the late 80s,
like your Zolos and things were just breaking out. I mean, still, I imagine, and it's like troubled teens are a pretty captive test group, I imagine.
Yeah, and they're hormonal, and so that's like treatment varied from, you know,
a kid who's court-ordered to get psych eval
and the judge saying, like, you're going to get psych eval
and then we're going to try to get him in the military.
And then that sort of takes care of his journey.
And he comes out of all of that and he's better.
There are some kids who are like, give them the right medication
and get a therapeutic level.
And that medication will save their lives.
Whether it's bipolar or super depressive.
I'm not a doctor.
Yeah.
Or the crazy psychosis medications that sort of dampen those and help people focus.
So mental illness, long story, is so intense.
I have family members who struggle with it, like severe stuff,
like borderline, not borderline schizophrenic,
but borderline schizophrenic, almost schizophrenic.
You mean not borderline personality disorder.
You mean close.
I'm in the neighborhood of schizophrenia, which is serious.
Schizophrenic adjacent.
Tragic and difficult.
And ultimately doing comedy at night was much more appealing than dealing with that during the day.
I bet.
And I was living two lives.
I literally was living two lives.
But I loved it because I was hustling and I probably met you right around that era.
You did.
Because I remember being.
Because I lived with Furman.
Ed Furman was a roommate. i remember being really struck by that by what a contrast it was to be working on
a psych ward yeah and then doing comedy and i it made me it made you seem like uh more grown up in
some way because you were actually helping people and not just fucking around like we were well i
was torn by it for a moment but ultimately i am all about fucking around like we were well I was torn by it
for a moment
but ultimately
I am all about
fucking around
like I don't want anything
thank you so much
you guys are the best
this is the VIP coffee
a cup of bouillon
this is the VIP
it better not be
bouillon
it is
yes
it's bone broth
my bone give me the marrow of a beast It is. Yes. It's bone broth. My bone.
Give me the marrow of a beast.
No, it's coffee.
It's Keurig from the green room.
Thank you.
Thank you for the Keurigs.
Well, but now do you think if you would,
because I very much feel me getting into improv was geographic,
geographically driven in many ways.
I would agree with you.
Do you think if you grew up outside of St. Louis, you would have ended up?
No.
Because I'd feel the same.
I might be in psychology.
Yeah, if I was in, yeah.
Something, yeah.
I don't know that I would have figured out a way because I just was kind of a joiner and wasn't real brave.
And I just had friends that were taking classes, and they happened to be in town.
And it's like, yeah, all right, I can do something on a Wednesday night.
But now I think it's both because I think part of me also thinks like you would have found it somewhere.
You might have been a little longer to it.
Yeah.
But like if your first job was the liquor store clerk and then the band guy needed an opening act, you might have ended up doing sketches with those guys or some weirdness.
And then lo and behold, you're like, fuck it, let's move to Chicago because I saw about this Second City thing.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
But it might have taken you a little longer because I do agree.
I saw a Second City touring show, and I think the career and school availabilities in Chicago existed because of
Second City. They had that player's workshop, and then they had Second City School, and then
the stage show. So to me, what SNL was doing, because I did have reinforcement for being funny
at a young age. I was in high school, and we were the hit of the variety show. It was like, we wrote our sketches and we crushed and I was incredibly famous overnight. It was delightful.
What school was it?
Hinsdale South.
Hinsdale South. So as public, you didn't go to Catholic school?
I went to Catholic school until fifth grade, something like that. And then the Burbs,
Darien, we moved to Downers Grove, which is like southwest suburbs where there were still farms, just as all the subdivisions had been rolled over.
So we would occasionally roll one of those big old, when they lay the cable for the phone line, those wheels that you use as a patio table.
The big spools.
Technically stealing it from a construction site.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
We wheeled it like a mile and a half home from the subdivision. I grew up further out in there. It was that same sort of like intersection of suburban sort of encroaching onto farmland.
And it was like, I just, I'm amazed that there was no deaths involved in our childhood because
our main play area was a field that would eventually fill up with homes.
And they'd still plant beans, soybeans.
But they took all the dirt from the foundations that they were building,
the subdivisions, and piled them up in this field.
So there was like-
Hills?
Yeah, there was like a 20-foot high dirt mound.
Same with us.
We dug fucking caves into the
dirt mounds. Yikes. 20 feet
into it. No, you didn't. Supported by nothing.
And would go in there with
flashlights and hang out. And I mean, and of course
they were like dirty magazines and kids
smoking cigarettes. And I just
They would have found you 30 years later.
Fuck yes, they would have found me. I'd be like, where'd they
go? I don't know.
I look back on it and it is, especially like as a parent, it's just chilling to me. We were like,
we'd literally burrowed into the ground. And like I say, deep, deep, like there's like six or seven
of us could get in there and it would be, and there were so many kids in the neighborhood.
And I mean, it was not a big neighborhood. I'd go in there and there'd be kids. I don't know.
You know, like in your fort. Yeah. I'd go in there and there'd be kids I don't know. In your fort?
Yeah.
Well, forts become communal once you build them. Absolutely.
Yeah.
It's, you know, it's really, kids are really like wildlife in some way.
Like, oh, look, a burrow.
Yeah.
Well, we built like tree forts and stuff that were unsafe.
And I remember climbing up a barn.
We made a rope.
So we wanted to climb up the barn Batman style
and the rope was made out of carpet remnants
that were like
just this weird amalgam
hand shredding and not safe
not safe so I got up to the very top
which was like in my mind maybe 15-20 feet
because it was a barn
and the thing broke and I fell like 15 or 20 feet
onto my back
and it was like 15 or 20 feet onto my back.
Like, and it was like made of rope, like made of carpet.
Like you, the dumbest thing in the world.
I'm lucky I didn't die.
Yeah.
Cause I, the breath got knocked out of me and I was so freaked out that I was dead.
Yeah.
But it was like, I'm not kidding. Imagine falling 20 feet onto your back now.
You would die.
I think.
Probably.
So yeah.
Now with our old brittle bones, for sure.
I one time, my brother and I, after a big snow.
Basically no supervision when we grew up.
Yeah.
That's the point.
Oh, absolutely.
Go away in the morning and come back when you're hungry.
But after a big snow, because I grew up on what had been a farm.
So our garage was a converted barn.
And then there's just sort of like the big open area that tractors would park and cars and pickup trucks would park.
So we had a big open sort of area driveway that would get plowed when there was a snow.
Like a cul-de-sac, basically?
Kind of, yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
there was a snow. Like a cul-de-sac basically? Kind of. Yeah, exactly. The house on one side and the barn on the other side. And there were a couple of other outbuildings to what had been
the farm. And they plowed it because it had been blacktop too. And they plowed it. And so there
are these big mounds of snow, probably 10, 12 feet high. And they had started to melt. And we
had an old swing set that had rusted and fallen apart. So we had like
circus painted metal tubes that we would play with in different ways, like with rusty, shitty,
broken ends of them. And we jammed one down into the snow bank. And my brother, I think he went
first. I'm sure that we were playing like some, you know, very culturally insensitive version of Cowboys and Indians.
And I first tied him to it.
And then we were throwing bark off a tree at each other, tearing off big pieces of bark and throwing them at each other as if we're throwing knives.
And then he tied me to it very tightly, jammed into the ground, tied to this metal pole and was throwing bark at me and was like hitting
me in the face and stuff. And I was like, stop it. Okay, let me go. Let me go. And he wouldn't
let me go. So I thought, oh wait, it's loose. I'll pull it out of the ground and walk away.
But what of course I'm not thinking is that it's literally three feet below my feet.
So when I pull it out of the ground, I cannot support myself at all.
And with my hands tied behind me, I fell what must have been six feet onto ice, landing on my forehead.
And I had a knot on my forehead for years.
It was like literally years, three, probably two, three years before it finally faded this sort of purple,
yellow, green knot.
That's like a Coen brothers fatality in a movie.
Oh, it was.
Just like that slow and avoidable death.
Like, how am I dying like this?
And as I was doing it, I was like, oh shit.
You know, like just, yeah, my hands are tied to my side and it's icy.
It's not even like, you know, i would have fallen on the ground if it had
been not icy but i feel like i did one of those later in life but it was like oh fuck oh fucking
i stepped through like a glass table like i knew i couldn't stop it so i just like i did i pushed
my foot harder so i didn't get hurt i went i was fine i went upstairs crying because it was hurt
you know it hurt of course crying with my hand over my head and my mom was on the toilet and i walked into the bathroom and said like mom i fell and hit my head
and she was like oh like like leave me alone i'm on the fucking toilet you know and i took my hand
away and she went oh my god which made me really cry yeah that made me because i was like yeah
yeah yeah no it was it was like a fucking
like beef patty in the middle of my forehead oh yeah i had i had photos do we have any photos no
i don't think so but i had numerous head injuries is it like playing football i know i had multiple
concussions yeah when i played and i think that's not unusual because I know I played football and I had a couple.
I guarantee I can think of two moments where like, oh yeah, I had my bell rung.
That's exactly.
They'd say, you got your bell rung.
Like I remember.
And there was like a momentary blackout too.
Yeah, a big collision and then instantly.
And then my head hurt the rest of practice.
Yeah.
I remember the game specifically, there's a big collision and then the next thing, and
then I'm just sitting on the bench.
Like, no idea why I'm on the bench with my helmet off.
But it's just, and I had walked over there, but, you know.
So, anyway, don't let your kids play football.
Now, where were you born?
I don't think any of my kids will be playing football.
I was born on the south side of Chicago at a hospital called Little Company of Mary, which is the baby factory of the South Side.
Why is that?
Because it was like baby boom central.
Like so many kids were born there.
Like it was just like the burgeoning South Side of Chicago.
What year were you born?
64.
Okay.
I think you are on boomer cusp.
Please, I call myself a Gen Xer.
Okay.
I'm not a boomer.
All right.
But I think 64 is the cutoff because when I found out, I was glad.
I'm just going to repeat what I just said. Okay. All right. I'm a Gen Xer. Yeah, obviously. I'm a Gen Xer. I'm not a boomer. But I think 64 is the cutoff because when I found out, I was glad.
I'm a Gen Xer.
Yeah, obviously.
What month were you born? I don't remember.
Do you want to know my birthday?
Then ask it in a more informal way.
I'm sure that my listeners would love to know when your birthday is.
Check Google.
October 13th.
Okay, so later in the year.
Oh, you tricked me.
You got my birthday. Oh, you tricked me. Oh, I want to tell you first.
He's a dumb one.
No, but so, and was it just mainly a maternity hospital?
Yeah, kind of.
Probably general care, but yeah, oddly, I bet, I don't remember.
It has a name.
And the funniest thing is my mom was almost a nurse.
And I have pictures of her.
She didn't work there.
But she worked out of a hospital in the 50s where all the girls were getting trained to be nurses.
Yeah.
And that was like a big profession.
I don't know why that made me think of that.
Right.
And you're from lots of kids, right?
One of seven.
One of seven.
Yeah.
And you're third?
Fourth. Fourth. Yeah. And you're third? Fourth.
Fourth.
Yeah.
My mom's from Lockport, and my dad was from Southside, Chicago.
Right.
And your dad ended up having a pretty successful industrial kind of business, right?
Yes.
He had a heavy machinery moving business in Cicero, which was like industrial.
moving business in Cicero, which it was like industrial.
You could move a steel mill's kiln that boiled metal,
and you could put it in the new building they built.
And you would tip it over and frame it in wood so the ceramics didn't break.
And then you would move it and then stand it up.
And that thing would weigh like 95,000 pounds.
Wow.
So it was like industrial moving.
They were in that world.
Industrial moving.
And also installation.
Like if you bought a brand new German seven color press from Germany and you're the Chicago
Tribune, then you would need someone to install that, meet it at the port, bring it in, uncrate
it, hook the electric, level it, shoot lasers, make sure it's-
How does your dad know how to do that?
You don't have to.
It's like producing a movie.
You just have to hire someone smarter than you.
Really?
I think so.
He didn't know.
He was a salesman.
Oh, really?
He was a salesman.
He came in as a salesman, and then him and three of the other salesmen bought the rich
owner out.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
Yeah, it is kind of a capitalist hero story.
Now, did the affluence of your family increase as time went on?
Because I remember I knew about that business from seeing names on signs.
Taft, it was called, right?
Yeah, it was called Taft. I guess it was you might have driven past it if you drove past a factory.
I didn't think we were affluent until we moved to the suburbs.
And then we had like six kids in a three-bedroom, four-bedroom house.
But a nicer neighborhood like the suburbs.
Right.
And then we moved to like a farm.
We bought like my aunt.
My dad had two sisters, Rose and Dorothy, God rest their souls.
They were our sweet aunts.
And they were the ones who didn't get married in the family.
And they were close.
And Aunt Dorothy, probably a lesbian today if she was with us.
Right.
And started over.
Yes.
In a different era.
And had been able to be happy.
Yeah. Yeah. She had some demons, unfortunately. But she was also a great aunt. She had been able to be happy. Yeah.
Yeah.
She had some demons, unfortunately.
But she was also a great aunt.
She was the one who gave us culture.
Like, she took the little dirty white trash rug rat Walshes to museums and fairs and art walks.
The gays will do that.
Yeah, the gays are good with culture.
Yeah.
Because I don't think normal life's exciting enough for them.
That's why.
They need culture.
I don't. I mean. Honestly, I don't. I life is exciting enough for them. That's why. They need culture.
I don't – I mean, honestly, I don't – I mean, I'm not – I wouldn't – but, yeah.
I mean, in general terms, like I do often have – and I've said this before. Like I do think like you're going to give me a choice between I got to sit next to at a wedding on a plane in jury duty between a gay and a straight,
give me the fucking gay every time.
Because odds are you're going to just have a better time.
They're going to be smarter, funnier, you know.
A gay friend of mine used to, like she referred once to, I think it was like Ricky Martin,
and it was before he was out.
And somebody was talking about whether or not he was gay. And she said, well, if he isn't, it's a, it's a waste of a perfectly good gay man. I mean,
boy, that guy, he should be gay, you know? And that's, and I always,
and I always think about that too. Like if I meet a boring gay person,
I'm just like, Oh man, what a waste of gay.
You should be way more interesting.
Yeah.
It's probably very problematic that I'm saying this, but.
Well, you're speaking of a positive stereotype.
Yeah, I guess.
But it is a stereotype.
I guess.
It is a stereotype.
And that's the unfortunate part.
Right, right.
And of course, there are really dull gays.
Of course.
But generally speaking, come on.
See, you're continuing to stay
in the subject matter. You can't
resist biting. I just
I love the gays.
No, I mean, but I mean, I've had
my life is peopled and family
and for my dad is gay.
My son is gay. The gay culture
came into my life when I was out of college.
I think of the annoyance and people like David
from the game show and Mick and Joffrey and Eric Waddell. And there was a tremendous, Faith
Soloway. Like I got a real good dose of gay culture in my early twenties. And that was wonderful.
That was like a really neat eyeopening period of my life, the annoyance, because you were doing, at that point,
I was willing to be poor and do art for art's sake and see where the dice went. Probably made
bad decisions, but you get focused later. And then the Brady Bunch came around and that was like big
news for all of us. Yeah, a show called The Real Life Brady Bunch. I mean, I've talked about before
on this show, but it was a live, live recreations
of Brady Bunch episodes on stage
that was very popular at the time.
Yeah.
It coincided with a 70s nostalgia wave
with like people, you think,
like, oh, we're wearing bell bottoms,
disco music, you know,
and it just sort of, it was very timely.
But it was also very funny.
There were a lot of really funny, talented people.
It was a funny idea.
Jane Lynch, Andy Richter.
Yeah.
Tom Booker.
Melanie Hutzel.
Melanie Hutzel, yeah.
Mike Coleman.
Mike Coleman.
Betty Cahill.
Yeah, there was a lot of really funny things.
David Koechner did some of it.
Ben Zook.
Yeah, Ben Zook.
It was really-
Let's just name people from the annoyance. Come on, keep going. Keep going. No, no. Google it. Ben Zook. Yeah, Ben Zook. It was really- Let's just name people
from the annoyance.
Come on, keep going.
Keep going.
Google it.
Just Google alcoholics
from Chicago's
uptown neighborhood.
High functioning alcoholics,
early 90s Chicago.
Yeah, no.
Well, and I think too,
also, we are of an age where in our childhood, there wasn't a lot of gayness on TV. There wasn't a lot of, you know, like there wasn't, there weren't, you know, Ellen hadn't come out on her sitcom, basically.
Probably not. You know, to the point where there could be a gay character on a sitcom. I mean, I guess there was like, it was always very obliquely referenced to, but it wasn't like now where there's, you know, you see gay teens on TV.
Like there were no gay teens on TV when we were kids.
There were no gay teens in my school.
I mean, there were, but nobody was open.
Whereas now I bet in that same school, the town's a little bigger, but I bet you there's openly gay kids now.
It's just, it was a real turning point, I think, between, you know.
I'm like somebody just the other day I heard on the radio talking about.
Well, that theater, the old Annoyance Theater, was the old drag club.
It was.
What was it?
I don't even remember what it was called.
I don't know.
Next Door was like the record place where Billy Corgan actually worked for a while.
Oh, right.
Like a small earwax or something.
Yeah, no, it was an old barn.
It was literally an old livery stable.
Oh.
That was what the original purpose of the building was, which meant it was very drafty
and had rats everywhere.
Yeah.
Lots of rats.
Lots of moments where a rat would run over somebody's shoulder right before a show or run down the stairs.
The building was never meant to be very, you know, like lived in.
It was meant for horses.
Right.
And so it just was draft.
It was freezing cold and just all kinds of.
But great deck for the gay pride parade every year.
Great party.
Had a rooftop.
Yeah.
Yeah. We had a rooftop that we hung every year. Great party. Yeah. Yeah.
We had a rooftop that we hung out on.
It was quite a playpen.
It really was.
And it was like a middle class cult too.
Yeah, yeah.
Because it was like people were serving sort of mixed wishes in a way.
Well, and in a transitional, to go back to the same sort of topic, there was, because for me, my work was very much split between the Improv
Olympic, which was Del Close and Sharna Halpern's kind of straight up long form, you know, had
its roots in the Compass players and Second City, you know, very much establishment.
And then a lot of this, it was very Chicago, very, you know, Bulls jokes and Alderman jokes and things like that.
And then I also worked at the Annoyance.
And the guys at the ImprovOlympic literally would be like, why are you working over there with all those queers?
You know, and it's like, probably because there's all those queers because they're hilarious and they're fantastic and it's really fun.
And we're doing lots more drugs than you guys do. That is true. because there's all those queers because they're hilarious and they're fantastic and it's really fun.
And we're doing lots more drugs than you guys do.
That is true. There was a conflict and there was like – and there were like open like conflicts at parties and shit over that, you know, like fights and stuff.
Well, there was petty rivalries which are going to be inherent in any scene.
Yeah, yeah.
Like Second City was seen as the devil for a long time when I grew up in comedy in Chicago.
And then I was an annoyance guy and I'd sort of dropped out of ImprovOlympics. So I was sort of
just annoyance. And then I worked at Second City and then I was always a UCB guy at some point.
I was always doing shows at UCB. So it's kind of like to see those rivalries and see how foolish
they are. That's why I call the annoyance the middle class cult.
Because I think that was the last time I wanted to make sure everybody was on board with what's happening.
Do you know what I mean?
There were these check-in meetings, and it was managing people's personalities.
And it got like, I don't know if you remember some of those.
Oh, no.
It was, yeah.
No, definitely.
There were people.
Someone said at a meeting, I'm not going to say a name,
but someone said in a meeting,
and this is someone who's being unfaithful to their wife,
and they also think they're the greatest actor in the history of acting.
And they said, there are things that happen in these four walls,
because he was talking about secrets leaking like a paranoid person might.
Things that happen in these four walls that I don't even tell my wife about.
And it was like, you couldn't help but laugh.
It was like, I could think of one thing.
Yeah.
But it was also very heavy.
Like, to my discredit, I don't think I, like, laughed out loud.
Yes.
I was like, ugh, really?
Do I have to sit through this?
I was more like that.
Like, really?
Yeah.
Come on.
This is just this.
That's the middle class cult of it.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah. No, I know. Yeah, you were there. You were in and out of that. Oh, absolutely This is just this. That's the middle class cult of it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.
You were there.
You were in and out of that.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, no.
And I always kind of was able to keep an arm's length on it because I think, well.
Yeah.
And there were definitely.
Yeah, you were.
Yeah.
There were definitely people there who were in charge and not just in charge like that
they were going to decide what show was on. They were going to decide like how people were going to behave
and how they were going to feel about things.
There was a lot of like little manipulation.
It was very kind of interesting, but I also remember too.
I'm also still friends with some of those people.
Oh, absolutely.
But I mean, but yeah, no, but there's, there was, and I, yeah, there were, they were manipulators that have become professional manipulators. Now they've turned that skill into an industry. It's called directing.
But I also remember, too, though, there was like very dysfunctional group dynamics in the more sort of improv olympic and anti-group or offshoot groups. And I remember back at that time enjoying like their big personalities that would throw fits and get offended and like smash glass tables at parties and stuff.
And I just remember rubbing my hands together going,
Oh boy,
it's fun to be all these crazy people bumping into each other.
And then,
you know,
that's 22.
And then by like 27,
you're like,
Oh fucking shit.
Oh,
these crazy people.
I just,
let's go to dinner.
Let's just get out of here.
But at the time it was pretty,
pretty great. And when you're coming
from kind of a dull small
town it's like wow
these are big
people
and there was a subversive nature
to it all like I think you were
in the scene and I was in the scene I think like
doing filthy musicals at
the Annoyance or doing UCB pranks
like I feel like I was always imagining I was part of some cult
counterculture thing and trying to do something different.
Although you have to work through that and you have to realize like some of
that's just youth and you're just got a lot of anger.
You don't know where to focus it yet.
And some of it's valuable.
Some of it is like you should challenge the status quo, you know, when you're an artist or a young artist, certainly I would yet. Yeah. And some of it's valuable. Some of it is like you should challenge the status quo
when you're an artist
or a young artist,
certainly, I would think.
Yeah.
But,
so it's interesting
the places that that journey,
I'm trying to be introspective
for your show.
It's interesting that
I shouldn't label it.
Don't hurt yourself.
Can we cut that out?
Can we cut that out?
I don't want you to break anything.
Take two.
Andy, I love your shirt.
Is that a good transition?
Can we use that?
Can we patch that together?
I also think, I don't know how you were about that.
I think, and I think one of the reasons I was able to stay at arm's length of it was, A, I'd already kind of had some therapy.
I had a pretty good relationship with my family.
I had a pretty good relationship with my family, but it was there was definitely family dynamics going on with people who were in their early 20s trying to be validated.
Like, well, a doing the thing of like, I'm going to get on stage in front of a room in a room full of people that's that's sitting in the dark and they're just going to be focused on me.
That's already like that's a big step up from regular life.
You know what I mean?
Sure.
And, and it's a, and it's a very presumptuous thing. Like everyone should shut up and listen to me and to get,
to get to a point where you feel like you're validated for that.
And then also too, everyone's horny.
There's so much promiscuity and just like people just like sort of a round
robin tournament.
Well, that place, yeah.
I was not in that scene.
I was very tangentially.
There was the upstairs where there was three ways and four ways and five ways.
And I'm like, I'm square.
I'm square.
I'm like.
Oh, yeah.
I never.
As I've always said, I like to disappoint people one at a time.
Wink.
That's a good joke.
Thank you.
It's an oldie.
Is it?
I haven't.
I don't think you've used it around me.
You probably forget.
I've probably done it three times, but I save it for every ten years.
I hope to be there ten years from now when you use it again.
All right.
God willing.
Now, when you're in high school, are you doing plays?
And are you thinking, I might do this for a living?
I think I was more sheltered with my aspirations.
I think I didn't really, I was a funny kid,
and I was like a disruptive kid, unchanneled.
Yeah.
But I never, I did sports, and I probably didn't think I could do theater yet.
I wouldn't give myself permission to do it for whatever reason.
I liked my friends, and my friends were athletes,
so I was sucked into sports.
Yeah.
But I did do this variety show, which my friends, my high school buddies still tease me about.
Like, you're the hit of the variety.
Like, it's just the longest running joke.
But it was like a sort of a thing of like, oh, this is really fun.
We wrote it.
But of course, I didn't plan it.
Like, my friend Kevin said, you're doing, he literally said, you're doing the variety show.
I'm like, what?
And he's like, yeah, I'm all right.
And then he's like, now we have to write sketches.
Like, I didn't have any facility to think what we were stumbling into,
but once we actually did the show and I could just act what we rehearsed,
that was really fun.
That's nice that you had somebody that just made you do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's like, all those mistakes we make along the way are a microcosm of that.
Yeah.
Like, oh, I should have just been in the theater group in high school.
But not should have in a regret way, because I love sports.
And actually, I have some of my best friends still from high school.
So who knows why anything goes anywhere?
How does being in a big family like that inform your identity with yourself as you're becoming an adult and getting out into the world?
I was thinking the sense of duty I had to my family because our father, who art in heaven, good joke?
Well, I mean, I guess.
He would have us pay money.
So if I had a paper out and I was nine years old and I made $2 a week or I made $5 a week, I would give him half the money or all the money.
And every sibling in the, what the fuck?
Every sibling in the family had to do that.
You had to pay to the house because
that's the family.
That's fucked up. I did not...
I actually liked it. I don't do that to my kids.
Why would you?
I'll tell you why. Because there's an
aggr... Large families traditionally...
I can't... Yeah, I guess... You're not listening.
You're not listening to this.
I'm from a large family.
I just got there before you could actually get it out of your mouth.
Say it.
What's the answer?
Say it.
Say exactly what I was going to say, Andy Richter.
Because he was coming from a space of depression era where the family was a unit and life was a lot tougher.
And it was harder to, you know, life was not as comfortable.
You had to get out and work and you had to make money and you had to bring it home to the family because everybody was poor.
Right.
Yeah.
And he came from one of the 11 or 12, like his family was even bigger.
So he owned that perspective of the world.
He came by it honestly.
And he stayed very close with his siblings through life.
Yeah.
So that structure was passed on to us in a way. And I didn't mind, like, what does money mean
anyways? Like we had everything we needed. We had great Christmases. We got tons of toys
when we're as much as we needed. Certainly we got suits when we graduated. We got like,
but the, I liked the, I was so on board with that right away, and that to me is a good thing about being in a large family.
And so how does that apply?
I guess what was the question?
I don't know.
What was the question?
I mean, how did being in a large family shape your relationship with the world when you're coming out and becoming an individual and an adult?
I guess in some ways, I like i'm part of this like
collaborative ucb thing that's lived on and so i feel like serving a collective is partially in me
yeah in a way like a band i'm a good band member uh-huh you know so i play well with others are
you comfortable standing out are you comfortable with solo stuff i challenge myself to do it but
of course i'm not comfortable with it.
But I have gotten better at challenging myself.
Because ultimately, I am lazy about it.
I just have to ride through that anxiety
before you get on stage.
Because I find it very nerve-wracking
to be solo.
I really do.
I don't like it.
I feel like there's no place to hide.
And I'm very conscious of that.
But once I push through the nervousness of that, it's always generally very fine.
Well, I know, yeah.
And I mean, and I'm sure that you're funny, and I've done things on stage by myself.
Oh, I'm funny.
Oh, I know you're funny.
I got to find something funny.
Go ahead.
I just want to prove I'm funny somehow.
Look at a mirror app on that phone.
Oh, boy. Is that the 10 on that phone. Oh, damn.
Is that the 10-year joke?
No, no.
Yeah, it used to be just a mirror, not a mirror app.
You can bury that one.
No, I've done solo stuff too, and I can be funny.
But that, to me, is not the point.
Again, it's my experience on it.
I end up doing it, and I don't like it.
It's not that, yeah, everyone else had a good time, and it was fine and everything,
but that's like a symptom of my anhedonia anyway, which is my inability to enjoy things.
I'm working on it, you know.
Anhedonia?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, all right.
I'm going to look that up.
But it is like that.
What I want to do is be on stage with people that are funny
and enjoy that thing.
Because back in the day, too, when we were doing improv shows
and something would get canceled because of whatever,
weather or whatever, we weren't doing a show,
we'd all be together anyway.
And I'd still get to be funny with funny people, you know,
and that was like the important thing, I think.
So, you know.
Well, there's also great satisfaction in having like full artistic expression
in like directing a small movie.
Like I've done that a couple of times and I love that.
And, or doing, you know, doing a bit solo at charity events,
which I'm sure you've done a million times.
Like those are fun actually.
I like solo performing and I also like the ease of it
that you're not, it's not compromising your idea,
but you're just not pitching anything.
You're just like, all right, what do I want to do?
Okay.
Yeah.
It's so efficient.
Right, right.
And sometimes when you're in like a room of like,
there's a chain of command or there's like ideas or it's not your job.
Like if you're an actor and you have a funny idea, you don't really contribute it.
Yeah.
Unless you're on a set where they do sort of let you write or they do let you contribute.
Sure.
Which is great.
Which is like the perfect spot.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's good to kind of like – I've been on things where I kind of just – I decide at the beginning of it like I'm going to sort of rewrite my lines as I go.
And I'm going to wait to see if they stop me or not.
And sometimes I'll be like, hey, could you read it as it is on the page?
And then I'm like, oh it um and then other times they're just like okay you know that yeah that's good whatever and uh and man it feels great it just feels like especially when i've i've
like i can think of one i was on a movie that was on location and it was not a great movie anyway
and i just said i mean i every line i said served the purpose of whatever it needed to serve in the scene,
but I just would tailor it to what felt better and more natural coming out of my mouth.
And I could tell other people in the movie were starting to be like, how come he gets to, you know,
and I'd hear them say that, and I would never say it.
I'd just be like, I never addressed it.
I was just like, I'm just going to keep saying what I want.
Sorry.
You could try, I guess, but I'm just going to keep doing this.
Well, I've been on movies where there was an agreement to sort of direct it
between three or four people and not the director.
Oh, wow.
I've been on a couple of those movies.
Wow.
One was like an action-y movie.
Die Hard.
Yeah, Die Hard 1.
Okay.
Yeah.
I remember.
I had only a four-second line.
Your South African accent was unbelievable.
So it was kind of like after takes,
the director just didn't have the aptitude
to understand what your emotional presence was.
And so we would check in with each other.
And the other people were good.
They were very good actors.
And I was game for that.
I'm like, yeah, good.
Love it.
But it wasn't like pirate. But it was definitely pirate. Like, it's like, he's not dialed into anything.
Yeah.
What are you doing? Yeah. I like that. Okay. Whatever. And that's sort of, and then there
was another one that I did and it was more blatant at some point. It just like there would be one take for the director and then we
would just start uh actors would turn to us and ask us what they should do better in the next scene
and then it just became apparent that was like day one yeah and then it just slowly grew into us
directing that's got to be exciting, though.
Feels very naughty.
Well, it's managing people, though, because unfortunately, like, I'll make it quick.
This is like a tangent.
I wouldn't want anyone's feelings to be hurt.
But like, ultimately, the person who was supposed to be the director wouldn't have done it well.
Yeah.
Excuse me.
Sorry.
I just burped.
It wasn't really a burp.
I thought you were crying.
No.
Because you were offending the power structure. I'm a gurgle. Oh. Off me. Sorry. I just burped. It wasn't really a burp. I thought you were crying. No. Because you were offending the power structure.
My stomach gurgled.
Offended, yeah.
So we had to sort of take the reins and then finish it ourselves, basically,
because there's various things.
Every step of the way, we had to be involved, unfortunately.
Yeah.
So it wasn't like, yes.
Like, had we started the movie and we knew that?
But it was kind of like once we got over there, it was like, all right.
Well, and also, too, I think you start out with a very kind of doctrinaire feeling of like, you know, the theater school version is you're the slave to the text.
Like, it's not about you.
You're supposed to – all your choices are supposed to be ultimately about the slave to the text. Like it's not about you. You're supposed to,
all your choices are supposed to be ultimately about with upholding the text, whatever the play is. You're, you're, it's not about you being noticed in the play. It's about you not being
noticed in the play and about the play being noticed. And the improv version of that is,
was always the rule of there's no one person that's more important than the group as a whole, which both of those I believe in very much so.
But then time goes on, and it becomes your job, and you get some miles under your belt.
And it's like, look, I'm just going to – you got to trust me.
I know what I'm doing.
Like, look, I'm just going to – you got to trust me.
I know what I'm doing.
One of the best things I ever saw, and it was – you know, on dopey comedy, but Terrence Stamp was – I was in a comedy with Terrence Stamp. And I didn't have too many scenes with him, but I did get to watch him be in one.
And it was a car pulls up and everybody gets out and runs to a point and then says some lines.
And Terrence, I don't even know what the business was, but they would do it.
And then they did the first take.
And then the director came out and explained to Terrence, I'd rather you do it this way.
And Terrence would go, oh, yes, I see.
I see.
I see.
Right, right, right.
Of course, of course.
And then they'd get back in the car and pull up again.
And Terrence Stamp would come out and do exactly what Terrence Stamp wanted to do.
And the director would come out again and try and explain what he wanted Terrence Stamp to do.
And I should say, Terrence Stamp was doing just fine.
Terrence Stamp being Terrence Stamp is really great.
But this happened like four times.
And every time Terrence Stamp was like, oh, right, I get it now.
Sure, I understand.
And just agreed this guy into submission.
And the director, I saw him.
Is that the move?
Because maybe I need to start doing that.
I definitely have used it.
I definitely have stolen it, have lifted it.
Just start living in it.
Just going like, oh, I see.
It's almost like playing dumb, isn't it?
Yeah, like, I see what you mean and
then just be like here you go here's the same fucking thing again it's also like when they
want they give you something that will you will just die if i do this see yourself in this movie
and this heaven forbid it becomes popular and you have to see yourself making this terrible choice
you know on screen and so you go go, okay, and do it.
Because they'll say like, whenever they say,
you say, I don't want to do it that way.
And they go, okay, do it your way first.
And then we'll do the last one.
We'll do the way we want you to do.
You know, like, oh, you're just going to-
That's the one they want.
Yeah, that's the one they're going to fucking do.
But I just remember like at the final scene,
looking at the director, the final take of this
terrence stamp comes out does it again and like i say a it's not you know the fucking godfather
it's fine it's good and it's good let him do what he's fucking terrence stamp and i just saw the
director like at a monitor and just like his shoulders fall and takes off the headphones like
all right we got it moving on yeah that was great terrence good job but i just was like oh it was thrilling to me because it's
like yeah i love that yeah yeah yeah i'm more probably too coachable as a as an actor i once
i'm in that role if i didn't like have anything to do with the writing of it and somebody's like
i'll always end up giving them that.
If they say, okay, just do it this way.
Like I have my instincts and I always act my instincts.
But if somebody says, could you do it this one way?
Right.
I'll find a way to see that as reasonable.
And I'll do that.
I don't think that's wrong.
I don't think that's wrong.
But have you done things?
I'd rather be Terrence Stamp.
Part of me is like, fuck yeah.
But have you done things that you're like, see, I won't do anything that I'm super embarrassed by.
No, I won't.
I wouldn't either.
I'll kind of split the difference, you know?
And I mean, one of the main, I've learned this as time goes.
I mean, one thing I want to say is that, A, you start being an actor, you start working,
and then you get on something where the director's terrible.
What the fuck are you going to do?
You're going to do what you're told by somebody that's terrible and you know, no, this guy's
wrong.
I mean, there's that.
And then there also too is one of the main skills of show business, and I noticed this
when I started developing television shows, and it's what being kind of a television
writer is, is getting a note because A, the business is absolutely populated by people
who have to come up with something to say about your project because otherwise they'll say like,
why are you here if you're just going to go, I trust this artist we hired. You know, they got
to have notes for your, for whatever it is. And there's six or hired. You know, they got to have notes for your,
for whatever it is. And there's six or seven of them. So you got to have like,
you got to get notes from six or seven fucking dumb dumbs. Well, maybe two of them are not dumb
dumbs. And your job is to not address their notes, but make them believe you address their notes.
That is like the, I feel like that was one of the main skills that I
tried to learn and tried to like adapt to was like, yes, you're right. In order to appeal to women,
we should do this. And then just be like, see, we did it. And it, you know, and it's just,
it's a kind of manipulation, you know, it's a kind of, it's kind of getting something out,
you know, telling somebody what they want before they even want it.
Yeah, it's interesting because you're – this is so boring, but you're making art inside of a corporation essentially.
Absolutely.
A distribution model corporation.
And their model is to watch the budget and to administer things that don't get them,
I don't know, it's lawsuits or problematic reactions with the public, I guess. And then
that has nothing to do with making something funny, nothing to do with making something like
good and real and relatable, nothing to do with it. like good and real and relatable. Right.
Nothing to do with it.
And then that's why-
Or if it's a series, something that will live on,
that will inspire more episodes of this world.
And what you learn is these people who are the corporation people,
when you give them good faith gestures,
or when your manager says, just do it,
because then when they want to pick it up, they'll remember your low-
Good faith gestures don't ever give them good faith.
Ever, ever, ever.
You never.
I have been told.
Because they don't come back to you.
It's like, we did the thing.
And then you said, go to the thing.
And I did that too.
And yeah, they don't like the show.
They were never going to pick it up or whatever it is.
Whatever the thing is, it's like you can't.
That's what you learn.
Yeah.
And I'm so, I've sort of learned that, but it took me too long to learn that.
Whenever anybody says, you know, do me a favor, I won't forget this, and it's a powerful person, and I've had this, that explicitly said to me, do this.
You know, I know you don't want to do this.
I know this is a little bit above and beyond.
you don't want to do this. I know this is a little bit above and beyond. And it's usually things like promotion or showing up somewhere or, you know, doing a reshoot when the star of the
movie won't do a reshoot. So they have to patch it together somehow with you. I mean, as a tertiary
character, you know, and it's always been like, I'm not going to forget this. And so, you know,
when I first heard, I'm like, oh, oh okay this person that's a powerful person in show business is going to remember it and i'm going to get a better a bigger
part cut to the sound of wind you know and the visual tumbling tumbleweeds nope and me as a
skeleton waiting for him to not forget you know, that's what like smarter people than me tell, you know, people who are successful.
We all have friends super successful.
Yeah, yeah.
I've had conversations and they're all like, yeah, you don't know.
You push back on that stuff.
You don't do that.
And then you're like, oh, yeah.
Do you think of yourself as successful?
I am successful, yes.
I'm knocking on wood if the listener. Well, that's different. That's a different, whether you are or not, do you think of yourself as successful? I am successful, yes. I'm knocking on wood if the listener-
Well, that's different.
That's a different, whether you are or not, do you think of yourself as successful?
Yes.
You do?
Yes.
And did it take a long time for that?
Was there a point at which that happened?
I think incrementally as a single man and making my living as a comedian, whether it
was starting to tour
at Second City or booking my first commercial, that was successful.
Like that was the edge of success for me because it was what I love doing.
And I was earning a wage and it was like turning into a possible career.
So that success, I felt early, honestly.
Right.
Very fortunate.
Like I know you're grateful too.
Like very fortunate to have, oh my God, I can make a living doing this? Yeah, yeah. This is success. Right. Very fortunate. Like, I know you're grateful, too. Like, very fortunate to have, oh, my God, I can make a living doing this?
Yeah, yeah.
This is success.
Yeah.
So I've owned a lot of that.
And as through the years, you know, some years are not as successful as other years in terms
of, like, jobs.
Yeah.
But in general, the general arc of my history, I do feel successful, and I do feel fortunate.
arc of my history, I do feel successful and I do feel fortunate. And I think you,
I try to have like good habits. Do you know what I mean? Like I try to, I don't know.
You've been nominated for an Emmy twice. Does that help?
Thank you for knowing that.
I do know that. Thank you for knowing that.
I mean, no, that's like one that like I, you know, that-
You must have been nominated for this show or not this show, but that show.
Yeah. For writing. Only for writing. We've been nominated for writing and they won once after I
left. Coincidence? I think not. They're always bringing that trophy by to show you.
Yeah. Yeah. It hangs at eye level on a string outside my office, and I have to, like, avoid getting my eye poked by it.
No, just for writing.
You know, that's – we've always –
Well, whatever. That's right.
Oh, no.
I mean, it's – but it's like – I don't even know that we ever got nominated for best talk show.
You know what I mean?
Which is just – it's a weird – it's – the fucking award shit is so crazy and so weird because like I've always said, it's like such a chance for rejection junkies because we are in this business, which is just mostly rejection.
And we fucking dive into it.
And most of us have problems with rejection.
Like it's an issue.
Like I don't like being rejected. Nobody does, but some of us, it hurts a lot more than others and they fucking
dwell on it and it eats away at them. And so they go into a business where 80% of their life is
being told, no, you're not good enough. No, I don't like you. So they get successful. They get
rich and they go to a fight. They dress up and go to a night when they
get to feel bad about themselves again where one out of every eight gets to feel bad about themselves
again or it's a seven out of eight gets to feel bad about themselves that they're not good enough
and that somebody's better than them and that's fucking crazy well that is what is at the end of that night. Yeah. Like you said, I was nominated twice.
And it is so fun and attention.
And it's a real, it's a notch in your belt.
It's like a resume check.
It's affirmation.
It's affirmation.
Yeah.
And recognition in a world where there's-
By your peers.
Yes, by your peers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Winning a SAG award is incredibly fun too.
I bet.
That one really meant something for whatever.
But at the end of it, it is, I always went in, the two times I was nominated, I always went in healthy.
I'm so lucky.
I know I'm not going to win because so-and-so is probably going to win for real.
And then, oh, I'm going to a gifting suite.
This is sweet because I need things for my golf outings.
Get free shit.
Well, I get free shit. I'm not totally, but some of'm going to a gifting suite. This is sweet because I need things for my golf outings. Get free shit. Well, I get free shit.
I'm not totally good.
Some of it goes to the family.
Yeah.
And then it's the moment before and I'm like, all right, well, let's do,
oh, we do the red carpet and it's hot.
And then you sit down, but you see people, but you're in a tuxedo,
which is not fun ever.
And then all of a sudden there's a camera next to you and it's your category.
And you're like, oh, fuck, I care about this now.
Yeah.
Oh, fuck. This is going to hurt. hurt fuck i want to win i don't and then and then it goes to i don't even
know what i would say like honestly oh you didn't plan no holy fuck holy fuck don't win then i go to
that this is very revealing this is my journey wow don't win oh god don't win this is the first
year and then the second year similarly I was a little more prepared.
Higher on cocaine this year, probably, because you could afford more cocaine.
I was doing mushroom buttons the whole night.
They were chocolate mushroom buttons, and I did about.
Wow.
I wish you had won just for that.
I want to thank a baby.
No, but anyway, continue.
I'm sorry.
Hello, 5,000 seats.
Why is no one here?
Yeah.
I don't know.
The second year, still that moment of like once the camera's on you
for that category, you really want to win.
Yeah.
Come on. That's why you're there, and you really want to win. Yeah. Come on.
That's why you're there.
And you can't avoid.
There's no world where you can't care about that.
So that's what's.
And then on the other side of that is like, I think the first year,
I didn't think it would bum me out.
And it did.
And then the second year, I knew it would bum me out.
So I was better prepared for it.
Yeah, yeah.
And so the second year, I had a would bum me out, so I was better prepared for it. Yeah, yeah. And so the second year, I had a better time at the party afterwards.
Yeah.
Where your friends win and Veep won or whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
Or we didn't.
I don't even remember what years we won.
Probably Veep won.
Well, it helps to be able to feel good for other people that you're there with.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
But also, you get your, I guess it's ego.
You get sideswiped by that sort of self-importance and your ego.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, I was going to say, because I was always nominated as a group,
but then it just occurred to me.
I did get nominated for doing voiceover work for cartoon voices,
for doing Mort in Madagascar.
Nice.
And that one I did actually, I didn't go,
because I think it was in New York City.
And Kelsey Grammer won.
And I think, I don't remember the name of the character that Kelsey Grammer played, but it was Kelsey Grammer.
And so I still am fucking annoyed.
I still am like, because I was playing Mort in Madagascar,
which I had been playing through various permutations
and enough to know, like...
You've got to let this go, Andy.
I know, I know, but it is like,
well, it's the weird little niche things that you get.
I've been playing this fucking character.
And then a guy comes in as himself and wins it.
And I have been doing this character, this character as a pervert, this character as a projectile, this character as lovelorn, this character as sad, this character as a maniac, this character as a, you know.
And it's like, yeah, I've been doing this a long time and I do it well.
And, oh, yeah, I've been doing this a long time, and I do it well, and oh, well, whatever.
Well, I lost to Alec Baldwin one year,
who's doing Donald Trump, and he's not even a cast member.
But whatever, that was going to happen.
And then the other one was Louis Anderson
playing a woman on Zach's show.
Yeah.
But apparently he's great.
I've never seen the show, but he's great.
Oh, yeah yeah yeah
and that's fine too on fucking and that was probably like odds on favorite coming out of
the gate that yeah you know what i mean so it's like all right i remember one year we lost to
eddie an eddie izzard stand-up special for writing and I was just like,
okay,
well,
I'm not going to be petty,
but there is a difference between it's a standup special,
one dude working on jokes for a year,
and then we do this shit every day.
You know,
like it's like
somebody that cooked one meal
versus a restaurant
that serves
thousands and thousands of people a night.
You're not going to get any respect.
That was annoying. That was annoying, you know? But anyway, the point of this is that serves thousands and thousands of people at night. You're not going to get any respect.
That was annoying.
Yeah.
But anyway, the point of this is how crazy these awards are.
And the reason that I brought it up in the first place was that you getting nominated mattered to me.
You getting nominated felt like the universe is doing something right.
Because you can watch. They finally got it right.
Yeah, you can watch these.
And I've always been struck by that.
You watch these shows.
They reward mediocrity.
They reward just some sort of fashionable bullshit that happens to be happening.
And you're like, these awards are bullshit.
And then they give one to you and it's like, it's great.
Okay, now this, it makes sense now.
And I always wonder like like why does it matter when
it's somebody you when you agree with it and it doesn't matter when you don't agree with it and
i just have never really you know can't you know made any sort of advance well it's figuring that
out you know yeah it is and you know everybody's entitled to their fucking taste, too. So it's like when, you know, there were a lot of people, you know, we get to submit one episode.
Eddie Izzard gets to submit his stand-up special.
Oh.
And the people watch it, and they're like, I really enjoyed Eddie Izzard better.
Here's what I say to that, which is I ultimately know, or I academically know that like Kelsey Grammer won eight Emmys as
Frasier.
Yeah.
But I also know that people remember like the audience or the people that you want to
like you just remember like, oh, he's funny.
Yeah.
Like that's all that ever matters.
Right, right.
In comedy at least.
Like I don't know how many Emmys Will Ferrell won, but he's funny.
Yeah.
Like that's all you remember.
And that, I took some solace in that.
Like, I'm sure people love you because you're funny.
Like, that's it.
Yeah.
The award isn't as important.
It might, maybe it bumps up pay a little bit.
I don't know.
Oh, it certainly does.
It certainly does.
Not always, though.
I don't think necessarily.
Because there's obviously a lot of Emmys out there.
Yeah, yeah.
There's a lot of writers with Emmys.
There's a lot of actors with Emmys.
Nominations, there's even more
people with nominations.
You want to hear
something fucking,
you want to hear
Evil?
Are we going to
fuck some shit up?
No, want to hear
a bummer?
A little bit,
but just like,
okay,
then I will tell you.
Can you tell me off?
It's not,
no, it's just
It's a bummer.
It's just something
that happened
It's just something
that happened last week.
I have an aunt and uncle in assisted living, and they need to find a different assisted living facility.
My aunt's in a memory care, so I'm looking at places that are memory care, which is for, you know, Alzheimer's, dementia patients.
Okay.
People losing their mind?
Yeah.
And so I go check them out before I drag them to see it, you know, because I'm a lot more portable than they are.
And I met one of them, and, I mean, there's just people just kind of sitting in a day room staring.
And the woman that's kind of the, like, real estate agent showing me the place, she pauses in front of a person as if she's like an interactive display and
goes three time Emmy winner.
And a woman staring into space,
staring into space.
I was like,
that's so horrible to be in.
Why did you do it?
And I don't know if the woman had any idea that I worked in television or anything.
That's the funniest bummer I ever heard.
Oh, three-time Emmy winner.
And she's a veritable husk.
Thank you.
Yeah, we're all headed there.
But that's also the power of celebrity.
I guess.
It is.
Like every star effort. They'll be saying that over your corpse
yeah three time emmy winner yeah it is funny i have like my brother who asked my other brother
pat like what's matt doing next like it's conflict even in the family oh really that's like i don't
know ask him yourself yeah yeah do you know what i mean yeah yeah the entertainment business is fascinating to everyone yeah to and people in it obviously yeah yeah it's fascinating yeah it is
the power of like it isn't it isn't because it's like i've always had friends like i've had friends
in the business and another friend will ask me do you know what that person is doing working on
right now and i'll be like no and they And they're like, well, do you keep,
like, yeah, we talk all the time,
but I don't know what they're working on, you know?
I mean, like all the other attributes that come with that.
Like, obviously you walk into your studio every day.
And like, you've said this a million times,
like people in Batman costumes going to sets or army men.
Like entertainment is inherently
the most interesting profession, I think.
It is.
It is pretty exciting.
It just is.
Like, you're fortunate enough to, like, meet interesting people and, like, hear great music.
Your job, you get to hear great music on a regular basis.
Not so much anymore.
We don't have bands anymore.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We changed.
But, yeah.
But, no, you're right.
You're absolutely right.
And to the point where it gets, like, you become deadened to it, you know?
Right.
There are times.
You do.
Because there were plenty of times, you know, and also it's just sort of like me.
And like I said, my anhedonia.
But there would be like Conan when we did have bands.
He'd be like, welcome back to the show for the third time.
Band Andy has no recollection of.
And I would just be like, oh, God damn it. I need to fucking be a little more present in my life.
Pretty soon somebody's going to be saying Emmy winner over my tub of guts
sitting in a corner looking at daytime television.
Emmy nominee for vocal ensemble member in an animation.
Emmy nominee for vocal ensemble member in an animation.
For best animated performance.
Kelsey Grammer won.
Two-time supporting actor nominee.
He played a mouse or something. Louis Anderson beat him one year.
And then the next year, Alec Baldwin's Trump took it.
It was kind of a long shot.
You know, he wasn't a cast member.
Anyways.
And by the way, that smell is him. He took it. It was kind of a long shot. You know, he wasn't a cast member. Anyways, there is bingo, but only four people can sit long enough for bingo.
Oh.
can't you tell my love's a crow well now you and i mean honestly emmys shmemys you are one of the founding members of the ucb which to me is the most vital comedy school in the country you know
you i mean beyond and that's that's another thing that like having known the four of you, I knew you and Matt Besser much better.
And then I got to know Amy pretty well when she and Besser were dating.
And then when we lived in New York at the same time.
And Ian, I didn't really know well, if even Ian is really knowable.
He's knowable.
But no, I know, I'm kidding.
but he's available, but no, I know I'm kidding. But wow, you guys, you know, you started a comedy troupe and just kind of along the way, you also decided like, let's start a college. Yeah. And
how did that happen? I mean, why was that in your mind that that would happen? Does it, you know,
did you all think beyond? Cause it's such an expansive way to think.
It's like it's a real belief not only in yourselves as show business entities and the, you know, and producers of a television show, but yourselves as tastemakers and educators and believing in a particular kind of ethos of comedy.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, were you aware of that or did it just kind of ethos of comedy. I mean, were you aware of that or did it just kind of,
am I just blowing smoke up your ass and what's this going to get me?
I guess my mind goes to having a theater in Manhattan
allowed us to continue in a very simple way. So there was no plan, but, and then
also like in the way that I had, uh, uh, Besser was like, he went out and found a theater. Like
that's another, like he, I think Amy said in her book, he is like the driving force for most of the
UCB, like putting roots down. Like he was, he walked around Manhattan and found an old strip club.
And then next thing you know, we're all knocking out mirrors and cutting the strip club runway
in half, which was-
And you're living above it.
And I lived not right away, not right away.
But yes, I eventually lived on the third floor and then the fourth floor.
Yeah.
And then, but also living above the bakery, like seeing people like every day, that was
a crazy part of my life.
But it wasn't a decision in terms of we're going to have a lasting legacy of curriculum and performer attraction in the way that Second City attracted people.
I feel very good about what we've created created and i would recommend anyone study with us like i do think we have the best talent coming up and i do think we teach the best
like improv and comedy without question yeah yeah yeah so i'm very proud of that but the the simple
answer is we started because uh the theater started because we had so many people we'd already taught.
And we were doing that to like keep afloat in New York and make short films and try to get a TV show.
And then we've,
lo and behold,
we stumbled into like four or five really talented collectives that included
like Andy Daly and Rob Riggle and Owen Burke.
And I think Will Arnett was running around in the scene.
Yeah.
It wasn't really performing. Rob Corddry. Corddry and Bowie and. Rob Hubel and Owen Burke. And I think Will Arnett was running around in the scene. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't really performing.
Rob Corddry.
Corddry and Bowie and-
Rob Hubel and Aziz.
Secunda and Aziz came around.
Chad Carter.
Yeah.
And then also all you guys were kind of folded into us
because we were fortunate enough to have friends like you
who I'm sure I crashed on your floor a million times
and partied with you and Sarah on your roof.
Yeah.
And you were such a kind and generous person.
Because you were working.
And I think I was landing in New York.
So you had already put down roots and such.
And so you were always very good to us.
And Conan, too, when we got when you were working, you guys would check out our show.
And guys like McCann would play with us.
And you would play with us.
And so we had great.
And McKay came down from SNL. So we had
great network to, uh, associate with. And so once we were like doing this thing that like, oh yeah,
there's like this open gym. Um, then you guys, as well as the new guys, I guess,
started just taking it out, not taking it over, but it grew that way.
It's crazy too, that there was nothing in fucking New York City.
Well, I felt like Marco Polo bringing silk back from the Orient or whatever.
That's a little grandiose.
I'm sorry.
No, no, all right, whatever.
I mean, come on, you've earned it.
In some ways, just in dumb luck.
Just in dumb luck.
Not like I'm Marco Polo or that we are Marco Polo.
More like, how did Longform never take a true hold in New York?
That's what I mean.
The marketplace was completely devoid of what we were good at,
what we had all learned in Chicago.
Right.
But New York just never,
I guess because theater is financially difficult to set up in New York
and it's a harder go.
Is that what it was?
I'm guessing.
That's my gut answer.
Well, and I think, I also just think there just wasn't maybe like a history of it.
There wasn't like a real, it didn't seem to be a history of sketch comedy.
There was standup and there was theater.
Yeah.
Because like, I remember when the Conan show first started, when I first, you know, I was
going to be on David Letterman's replacement show on NBC
and this is before I even knew I was going to be the sidekick and we started shooting bits and I
was just a writer producing my own bits and I was like it was the first situation where I was ever
had any say in casting and so I'd say I have a bit where I need an old man that was the huge part
too we were literally paying our rent when we landed in New York.
I drove out with Horatio.
I feel like I've told it.
I'm never going to tell a UCB early day story again.
All right.
Well, you don't have to.
But basically, I sold my van. And then luckily, we got people like you.
You were putting us on Conan.
And those were great gigs.
Yeah.
And that paid the rent for a long time.
Yeah, a few hundred bucks.
And you can make that go a long way.
A few hundred bucks.
Absolutely. And in New York, bucks, and you can make that go a long way. A few hundred bucks, absolutely.
And in New York, yeah, whatever the after rate was, you know, you make a good, especially if you get a line, come on.
Well, the reason that that happened, A, was when we started casting these bits, and I think like, oh, okay, well, I'm going to see big time, good, talented people to, you know, flesh out this sketch.
They sucked.
They were so fucking unfunny.
It was like unfunny read after unfunny read after unfunny read.
And I just was like, Jesus Christ, what the fuck?
And then you guys show up and it's like, and you know, it was, yeah, it was me and maybe
Stack, Brian Stack.
Maybe he was at the show at the time saying, oh, saying, oh, there's a sketch with this kind of guy.
I know that guy, Matt Walsh, bring him in.
And then you'd come in, and the fact that we would have a sketch that was X amount of funny, we were always hoping before you guys came that we would at least get like 80 of x out of whatever actor we
hired you guys would give us 120 of x you guys had like you know you guys would give us above
and beyond you guys would show us ways that our script was funny that we didn't know was funny
and holy shit and then and it really was amazing and it was it did coincide with that same thing
where you were getting people like
andy daly and like you know rob well cecilia was our casting lady yeah for our sketch show and she
ended up working with you guys yeah yeah but i mean but those guys came to you because it's like
oh well here's this this is you know it was like you sent out like some kind of secret signal to
people that are funny in the way that you know we're yeah it
was like it was like uh for whatever reason it was sort of a scene built that i never felt like
i had to define i was happy to open the shop and let people take it over yeah you know what i mean
i don't blame yeah no i know exactly what you mean. And so get after it.
I can teach.
I don't teach anymore.
I don't teach improv anymore.
And I love performing improv.
I'll do that hopefully for many more years.
It's one of my greatest joys still.
That's how I kick up my heels.
I have a couple beers and do an improv show.
Do you really still?
You still like it?
If I have a couple beers, yeah.
Oh, really?
What do you, I mean, is it just fun?
Is there something?
Because I don't enjoy it that much anymore.
I enjoy the part beforehand where you talk to the audience
and you sort of find out a little bit about them.
And then I enjoy, I'm able to, I'm able, not every night.
Like I do it much less, but I still enjoy it.
That's the long answer.
One thing, because you and – you guys got so much practice at that pre-show sort of conversation.
Yeah.
And I always love it.
He's dropping on it.
And you guys got – and I just want to – for people that haven't seen a live ASCAD or a live long-form improv show, I always loved that you guys would ask questions.
And one of the questions you came upon was how many people
in here have ridden an elephant? Yeah. And there was always a few people that had ridden an elephant
because it's just like, oh yeah, yeah. There's like five or six people. And then the best question
that you guys started to ask, and I was, I did many, many shows with you guys and there was
never anyone in the audience that didn't raise their hand to the question.
No, you say it.
I'll just agree with you.
Who here has been hit on by Andy Dick?
Yes, that's true.
Every fucking show.
Inevitably, there'd be two or three people in Los Angeles, Franklin Street audience that would raise their hand, and then we would make them tell their story to verify.
And they all had legit sounding stories.
Was anyone ever hit on by Andy Dick while riding an elephant?
There was someone who got hit on while in the ocean.
This is my favorite one.
And then somebody popped up.
Andy Dick popped up to a guy on a surfboard, I think.
And it's like, hey, what are you doing?
Like you saw him on the shore and then coming towards him and then comes up like, oh, it's Andy Dick.
Oh, and he's hitting on me.
Or he came out at some rock and roll concert like Bonnaroo.
He was waiting in line for the port-a-potty and the door, the guy who was in there walks out and goes, it was Andy Dick just peeing.
He's like, hey, you're cute.
Like, just, he's walking past him.
Like, he can't, he has.
Well, yeah, I guess, you know, you cast a wide net, you catch more fish.
Yeah, there's more problems there, unfortunately, underneath that.
I don't know.
I hope we can use that.
Whatever.
I don't have a problem if you cut it out, but you're your choice.
Maybe just not the part about
the being in the port of
hand.
Please.
Cut out anything that you think
doesn't make me look like a genius.
Oh, that's going to be
a lot.
Hey, what happened to my two minute?
I was two minutes,
but I felt like we spent hours.
You sounded smart.
Yeah.
Well, we've been blabbing a while.
I got to get to, well, I want to talk about, you're a family man.
You got a fair amount of kids yourself.
Yeah, we have three.
Three kids, yeah.
Beautiful, wonderful kids.
Yeah, yeah.
Also success.
That's a good one.
You know that. Yeah, they're. Also, success. That's a good one. You know that.
Yeah, they're very healthy and happy.
Jude's going to be a seventh grader.
Emmett's in fifth.
And CeCe's in second.
Eight, 10, 12.
And it's great.
Yeah.
It's pretty great having kids.
It's a lot of work.
It is.
It's a lot of work.
It's the hardest work there is, yeah.
Making people is really, you know,
got to give a lot of leeway to people.
Making people, it's, you know, got to give a lot of leeway to people making people.
It's, you know.
Supervision.
It's as tough as it is, as a thing there is to do.
Yeah.
There's more supervision required than you think when you raise kids.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, at times it's, especially when they're little, it's so fucking dull.
There's so much repetition.
I like it when they're little.
Really?
I love it when they're little because I would always just hold them and like make a pie with a baby in my arm.
Like I love that.
I love how portable they are.
Like sit on the speaker while daddy like whatever, eats this pizza.
See, mine are 19 and 14 and it's pretty great.
It's pretty great getting to be where they're like getting to be these creatures you don't have any control over
who are just out in the world on their own doing things but that's inevitable i mean it's a
beautiful thing but it is a very complicated thing and it's a very there's the things that
you know when you worry about a kid when they're little and you're worrying about them running into
the street that's like you know, that's a legitimate fear.
And you build your life around like making sure they're not going to.
And then, you know, as they get out and they start to be teens and they go out in the world and you're kind of worried, you just have to trust and think.
But man, when they're, you just, you have these worries about like, what if and, and,
you know, and should this happen?
And there's nothing you can do about it because you just got to trust in the past that what you've done.
And but and while at the same time, it's kind of terrifying and unpleasant.
It's also sort of like beautiful in a way that like, you know, this is what it's about.
This is like, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
And also kind of getting your life back, getting your life back a little bit is kind of, you know, I wouldn't, a few years ago, I wouldn't have said that that was a feature of it.
But that's fun.
But it is a feature of it.
No, I think you should enjoy it.
I think you're supposed to enjoy that, too.
Yeah, yeah.
Because, like, whatever.
Yeah.
Did your tour of duty, and, you know, you're like, you're still engaged in their lives, and you love the shit out of them.
And, of course, they don't want to see you as much as you want to see them.
Right, right.
So you better get busy with a to see them. Right, right.
So you better get busy with a hobby or something.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Like, what am I going to do with myself?
You got to fucking figure that out.
Yeah.
That'll be interesting.
What are you going to, the second question, where are you going in this thing?
What are you going to do with yourself in the future?
What plans do you have?
More, you know, like things that, you know, goals, things you think you should be doing. going to do with yourself in the future? What plans do you have? More
goals, things
you think you should be doing?
There's the immediate future,
which is that golf outing I do every
year. That's the charity thing. That's
hilariously a wedding that I'm like,
why am I doing this again?
It's happening again, which I'm very excited.
It's for Defy Ventures.
They basically provide access for people, men and women, who go to prison and serve their sentences to give them civic engagement again.
Get them diplomas.
Get them mentors.
Get them jobs.
That's their mission.
And they're a great organization.
And I've done three field trips where you go to a facility, a prison,
and you see the people graduate from the program and you see their families come. And it's the
first time many of them have worn a cap and gown and you're like, oh my God. And you sort of cry.
Yeah. Yeah. It's very beautiful. And it's, it's good. And the recidivism rate is like real, like
men or women, if they've had a couple stays in prison, they're probably after three years,
like 50% chance they're back in.
And this program is like 5% to 10%.
Oh, wow.
Recidivism is like they're...
So those kind of small focus things,
like in a world where everything is like,
as you know, our politics are shit.
Yeah.
So you just try to like,
what can we sort of push forward that's decent?
Well, and also nice that there's tangible proof
that you're making a difference.
Yeah.
That's got it.
And it's fun.
The golf tournament's fun, and it's mostly friends,
and you try to raise money, and you raise awareness.
But it's not like we're thinking about them all the time.
We're goofing off and playing golf and having catch-up conversations.
So that's like the near future.
And then I have a Kevin Bacon thing that I did called Six Degrees,
and it's a narrative podcast that Funny or Die made.
And it's like 10 episodes.
And I play a person.
Kevin beat me out for Footloose.
So I auditioned for Footloose.
And he auditioned.
So now I want to kill him.
And I stalk his mansion.
And I meet Keira Sedgwick.
And there's some celebrity.
Terry Gross makes a celebrity camera.
Oh, that's fun.
Wow.
Yeah.
So that's coming out on these things called Spotify.
Do you know what those are?
I do.
Yeah.
I do.
I listen to really old music on that thing.
It keeps me from having to know anything new.
It might come in your menu when you're listening to old music.
All right.
But I mean, but do you have like, are you looking to be number one on the call sheet
on some show? Are you just kind of looking to age gracefully on camera
and various character parts?
Or are you just looking to raise kids,
focus more on just kids and let the other thing kind of handle itself?
I think I chilled out a lot, sort of wrote last year.
And now I'll probably hopefully get this indie movie,
a small project that I would be the co-lead of.
About a couple that wants to unplug from technology to save their marriage.
And they go out in the desert and they freak out because they don't have their iPhone.
It's funny, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, solid premise.
Yeah.
You'll get a tan, too.
Yeah.
And you tan well.
And then.
That's a joke, folks.
I have a big sun hat yeah and then pitching like
a couple shows uh that would be improv friendly i like the process of developing material by
leaving room for improvisation not whole whole stock and trade yeah but uh and those would be
one i would be in and one I would just produce so like hopefully some
so that's sort of like
my non-specific projects
and I'm getting a new
electric car next week
nice
what kind
I'm getting the
Kia Niro
nice
knock on wood
it's been a long
I guess there's not a lot of them
like the
I'm leasing it
through Jeff
you know
yeah
but it's taken forever
and I feel like lucky to get one,
and it's not even a Tesla.
It's the Kia Niro.
I know.
It's so weird.
I have a year left on a lease of just like a small SUV,
and I want to get an electric.
I'm getting, I want to get, there's a Hyundai kind of.
Kona.
Kona.
Yeah, Kona that I looked at.
I'll tell you.
I did my research, and I'll tell you how the Niro goes,
but I liked it a little better that I looked at. I'll tell you. I did my research, and I'll tell you how the Niro goes, but I liked it a little better.
We'll see.
I just need something that I can get a big dog in and out of the back of.
I can't have a car.
I need it.
I think mine has more cubic feet than the Hyundai.
All right.
But check it out.
If Kia's listening, I'd love to get a free electric car.
Come on.
Kia, if you're listening, I'd love to get a free electric.
I wouldn't mind one either.
Andy wants one too. Yeah, yeah. I listening, I'd love to get a free electric. I wouldn't mind one either. Andy wants one too.
Yeah, yeah.
I want one.
And I, you know, in different colors for my moods.
Well, I wanted a light interior and they only had charcoal because Southern California,
the sun.
Oh, right.
It's so bright.
Yeah.
Speaking of which, do you think you'll live in California forever?
Do you have any geographic longings that come up?
Do you have any geographic longings that come up?
Morgan and I talk a lot about potentially moving.
That move could be like just to a more remote part of Southern California, like Pasadena or something.
Or I don't know, Woodland Hills or La Cunada where you have the illusion of like nature.
Yeah.
And it's – so we talk of that sometimes.
And then like the big move where I would leave LA, I feel like that, I don't think about that.
Like the, the, the version that I would love is if we had like a crazy, like summer home
somewhere, like in the woods or by a lake.
And then like, we could all meet there.
Like family could meet there or people, but that near-future move that I would do.
But I don't know where you go in LA.
I know.
So it's still, this town is weird that it's just, when you come here and you do this,
and there are so many people that are in and out, and you're in and out over your time
in your life and your career, it's just hard to be like, OK, I'm here, and this is where
I'm going to stay. You know, it just,
and I think there's, you know, there's something roving about
people doing this for a living anyway, that it's just, it's hard.
And I don't, there's times I wish I could just be like, no, just, you know,
just settle here, just stay here and stop worrying.
Well, I think it's got to be the easiest path.
Like it just is. Like you could ride your bike to work for God's sakes. There's a lot to be said for
like never- Keeping it simple.
Convenience is like, but that is life. That is quality of life. That is a quality of life. Like
I find at different times in my life, I sort of beat the same path, which is like,
you know, I might've lived above the theater, but I sort of beat the same path, which is like, you know, I might've
lived above the theater, but I sort of like would work and then do shows at night and then go to the
bar and see some of the same people. And now here in LA, I don't go out to the bar anymore, but I,
I see some of the same people and I do shows or I go to my TV show and I do that and I see them
socially, but it's sort of like, I don't know, like when you started your job at Conan, I'm sure a lot of your early friends in New York were your workmates.
And they were funny people.
Oh, absolutely.
You shared your life with them.
That's similarly what I do.
And so that long story is very conducive to living in LA.
Yeah.
I like that we have a nice home and we're going to host like a game night.
And I think it's kind of fun to mix groups,
to mix the parents from the school that are just parents
and then some of your friends from showbiz.
And that's kind of fun.
That would only happen in LA.
And everyone's nice.
So there's advantages to LA, obviously,
like the convenience and the nature of it all,
like getting out to the Los Angeles Crest in a second or going to the ocean in a second.
And then you can go to San Diego or Mexico.
Like it's pretty close to a lot of wonderful.
No, it's, yeah, you got, you have to, it's a tourist destination.
And it's like you live in one.
Yeah.
I live like four minutes from Universal.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
It's fun too.
Like I've always said, like I've always, one aspect of this is, you know, the notion that you work.
And then in your fun time, you go hang out and have fun with people.
And it's like when I'm working, I'm hanging out and having fun with people.
I'm working with people whose job it is to be funny and having fun with them.
So it was always, especially like in the early days of the Conan show, I would, you know, when it was also very stressful and I would come home and, you know, Sarah at the time would be like, come on, it's time to come alive.
I'm like, listen, I've been with funny people all day.
I don't feel like being funny, which was absolutely unfair.
But, you know, it's this kind of thing you figure out as time goes on.
Yeah.
Well, what have you figured out as time has gone on?
What do you
i mean transition yeah that was a really good you mirrored the sentence oh that's gonna be a
clip do you have highlight clips yet can i make that put that in the bin for the highlight clip
for 2020 it's just it's a learned skill like not pointing out everything you do that i have not
learned that yes of course it was a fucking smooth segue.
It's like I'm inside you now and you didn't even know when I slipped in.
I feel violated.
I don't like your show anymore.
Just tell me what you've learned.
You're going to get fucking me too right here.
Tell me what you've learned, bitch.
What have I learned?
This is a great pause.
I should have prepared an answer.
No, it doesn't matter.
I guess, what have I learned?
Just give me your ending speech.
I wish I had that somewhere.
I think I threw it out.
I threw it out the car window
and it hit somewhere in the face.
And they're like, what's this?
I don't know if I like this person.
Well, all right.
Just think of it as like.
No, it's good.
Somebody, you know, a young version of you.
What are you going to say?
A young version of me would say, develop healthy habits.
Try to be the tree and not the rock and the leaf.
The rock is stubborn.
It doesn't move.
And the leaf blows with anything.
Try to be rooted like the tree.
And I think that's like-
Well, there, the metaphor works for growth as well.
Sure.
It's more alive.
But that's sort of the thing that like sometimes in life you're like go along to get along.
Sometimes you're blinded by ego.
And that's sort of more rock, I guess, in this metaphor.
So in the world of like, which I always have been rooted.
I'm always like fairly humble and modest person, as you know.
always have been rooted i'm always like fairly humble and modest person as you know but stay rooted in whatever those uh traditions and traits you care about or qualities you care about like
what is it what is what's most important to you as a person and those being your roots whether
it's taking care of your family or friends being honest being square you know being good to
community uh could be religion for some people you know whatever that good to community, uh, could be religion for some people, you know, whatever that
is to you, those traditions and those values, those roots, uh, just be conscious of that.
You know, are you religious? I know you were raised religious. I mean, we've talked about
it throughout your life about, cause your folks were, I would not call myself religious. I was
raised Catholic and I occasionally go to a Catholic service now and then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like the manger, big fan of the manger sets. I like Ash Wednesday. That's one of the
weird holidays where they put ash on your forehead and they remind you. Yeah. I like that one.
Yeah. See, I'm agnostic 100%. Yeah. Did you grow up inside rituals, like gathered rooms where
people would do rituals like that?
We went to church, but I went to different churches that just happened to be local.
Yeah.
Like we were many different things.
We go into, like my mom got remarried and we went to Lutheran church.
Okay.
It was never the same.
Yeah.
When we lived, we were Methodist for a while because it's like, oh, there is a church right there.
But I never was encumbered by belief in the whole thing.
I liked the stuff.
But what I was going to say is I'm agnostic, but I am an absolute sucker for Jesus stories.
Like at Easter time, all the movies that are on and the Christmas stories.
Yeah, they're soothing to you?
I just, I will listen to that story a thousand times.
Me, not so much.
That's interesting.
I think for me, it's about tradition.
So like I margin, like I bleed into religion when I like, like I do like Christmas songs.
I do like songs, Christmas songs, songs sung in Latin.
I think they're beautiful.
They're operatic.
But that's tradition.
And those are songs that sing praise to Jesus.
And like, do I believe that Jesus rose from the dead?
I don't need to believe that.
Like, I don't need the miracle.
I'm more like, that's a guy who lived his life.
And for whatever reason, that legacy is super powerful still.
And he had a lot of radical thoughts inside a very conservative culture.
He was a revolutionary guy. And there were a lot of radicals inside a very conservative culture. He was a revolutionary guy.
And there were a lot of radicals floating around during Jesus' time, and not many of those guys
are we talking about now. Do you know what I mean? It's a significant story to be told.
But I find also going to church boring. So I struggle with that. I also have children who've all been baptized. I'd like
that to kind of appease my parents. And I just liked that. So we had both a baptism and then
we had a hippie baptism in our backyard, like me, Morgan, because Morgan's not Catholic or was
never. And it didn't matter, but the godparents would say more and write more. Like Jude is
turning 13 soon. And Catholic tradition is like confirmation, which we haven't done.
And there's communion, which we haven't done.
So I don't know what's going to happen.
Probably we'll see.
But I do know that I want to have some sort of homemade hippie confirmation, not much like probably nothing like a bar mitzvah or a bat mitzvah, but marking the moment of 13 into 14 or whatever that traditional thing is, and
I'll carve it up with Morgan.
We haven't really figured it out yet, but I like that.
So that's like my spirituality.
That's my tradition.
That's my religion.
But that's like-
That's nice that you are like marking it with some kind of-
We will, yeah.
Transitional performance kind of ritual, yeah.
And I think that came out of probably Catholicism, like the seasonal effectiveness of like the readings change in the winter
and the readings change in the summer.
And appreciation for significance and for, yeah.
And it's a reason, yeah, it is a reason to gather and mark,
certainly in your kid's life, to mark some transition.
Like however you do it, there's probably no wrong way to do it.
Right.
You know?
Oh, I bet there's a wrong way to do know? Oh, I bet there's a wrong way.
Well, I guess there's a wrong way.
Yeah, sure, yeah.
Put them inside a pentagram and have them worship Satan.
Lock them in a barrel for three weeks.
Watch more video games.
Watch more video games.
I'm going to corrupt you.
My daughter was just asking me if she was ever baptized.
And I said, I bet your maternal grandmother, when she took you for a walk once, probably took you into a church and got you baptized.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was like, yeah.
Because we worried about it.
We wondered about it sometimes.
And we lived in New York City.
And my son was little.
And my mother-in-law would, my then mother-in-law would say, I'm going to take him out for a walk.
Yeah.
I'm like, I bet she's getting him baptized.
And I'm like, getting baptized every week.
What do I care?
You know, it doesn't matter.
Yeah.
And it's interesting, too, because who knows what it'll mean to your kids.
Like, something can mean something.
Yeah.
Like, you could hammer religion into your kids.
And unfortunately, that ain't going to make them like religion or your religion.
Yeah.
But there is also like, I don't care if you like it or not, you're doing this tradition because I did it when I was getting into Islam.
Yeah.
And that's not terrible.
That's actually like, whether it's like, I'm fond of the Chicago Bears because my dad used to take me to football games.
And in seven kids, you didn't get a lot of time with either parent.
So it was this bonding thing.
And like, he would go with guys from the bar on the bus.
And it was funny.
And the language was a little bluer.
And I got to hear jokes and stuff.
So it felt kind of cool.
Yeah.
In addition to watching men get brain concussions.
Do you still do your podcast about the Bears?
No, we stopped doing that.
I had a Bears podcast.
Called Bear Down, which people know as the, if they don't, it's the Bears fight song.
Yeah, that's the Bears fight song.
Bear down, Chicago Bears.
Let every play lead the way to history.
Bear down, Chicago Bears.
Put up a fight with a might so fearlessly.
We'll never forget the way you thrilled the nation with your T
formation. Bear down, Chicago Bears.
Let them know why you're wearing
the crown. You're the pride and joy
of Illinois, Chicago Bears.
Bear down. That's my
fastest version. That was good.
Thank you. That's a good place to end.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I'm crying.
Full disclosure, Andy was crying at the beginning of the interview. I'm crying. Just one tear.
Full disclosure, Andy was crying at the beginning of the interview.
I am.
You have free rolling waves of tears, which I don't judge.
I'm in pain.
But it's hard to be across from.
I have terrible diverticulitis.
It's hard to be across from as a person.
I've been in miserable pain the whole time.
All right.
Matt, I love you.
Thank you for coming and doing this show.
I'll come back.
It was a good excuse to ask you probing personal questions that I know you would have just thrown a drink in my face if I'd asked you in real life.
But as long as it's supporting your career, adding to your magnificence.
You only want to hang out with me when there's microphones in the room.
Yeah.
Who's the one?
So?
Who's the one?
I just want to say good stuff that should be recorded.
I'd love to hang out without a microphone.
Not me.
What's the point?
Anyway, thanks for listening, folks.
I love you, too, probably more than I love Matt,
because you're the ones that it's all for.
I don't know if that's true. Anyway, but thank you for listening to the three questions and I will be back next time with someone that
I don't love nearly as much. The three questions with Andy Richter is a team Coco and Earwolf
production. It's produced by me, Kevin Bartelt, executive produced by Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross
at Team Coco, and Chris Bannon and Colin Anderson at Earwolf. Our supervising producer is Aaron
Blair, associate produced by Jen Samples and Galit Zahayek, and engineered by Will Becton.
And if you haven't already, make sure to rate and review The Three Questions with Andy Richter
on Apple Podcasts.
This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf. Apple Podcasts.