The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Mike Sweeney

Episode Date: December 29, 2020

Writer Mike Sweeney talks with Andy Richter about surviving a traumatic upbringing, his career trajectory from trial lawyer to head writer for Conan, and the value of being surrounded by funny people.

Hi everyone, this is another episode of The Three Questions with Andy Richter, which is me. And my special guest tonight is someone that I have known for a very long time, is practically family to me at this point. And it's Mike Sweeney, who is a longtime head writer on the Conan show. Now, what is your title now, by the way? Yeah. What is it?

I guess writer, producer. Yeah. Well, tell people what the difference is between what you used to do and what you do now um because now is much now is much better yes let's just the the bad thing has gone away i um well as head writer for 15 years which i think is a sign of mental illness on my part. I don't think you're supposed to be the head writer of a late night show that long. It is a sense. It's a sense of it's an indication of competence, of skill, of people skills, and also something really, really wrong with you.

Very, very wrong. And that should be really at the top. The kind of codependence that you only find in someone who has made the choice to become someone's sidekick for the rest of their life. That's another kind of sickness.

Yeah, but you took a big break there. I did. I did. I took some time off and came crawling much more mature came crawling back so much so much wiser and more mature yeah second time around well now but it did it got crazy because you were having to when conan started doing a lot of these road remote kind of specials right and then you mean like weekly yeah i mean like shows in different

cities no i mean like going to armenia you know the trial yeah the travel shows right right right but also too every time he had an extracurricular thing like right giving out awards at the kennedy center honors or something you kind of had to accompany him on that stuff. Yeah. I would like the, uh, white house correspondence dinner in 2013 is kind of wrangling that. And, but, um,

the travel, yes, going to an, like being in Armenia. I remember that because all, all the writers were still working while we, and they were writing beats for things. And so I'd'd like it'd be

10 a.m in armenia and i'd be like oh or no it'd be 11 at night and i'd be like oh everyone's showing up at work now so i've got to make sure i've gone through all their pitches and pick things and it was crazy to do both jobs i remember i think it was because i think it was because the only one i've ever been on is berlin and i think we were flying back from berlin right after having shot a whole remote and you were on the plane having to get ready and it was you know it's like sunday and you're having to sit there and get ready monday show ready on the plane ride back from germany yeah yes and that was but you know what like i just yeah but you know what i had that muscle built up where you're just there's always another show coming so um

i just like okay the air the plane ride home is when i'll figure that out and you just have because you that was the hardest adjustment was there's a show every day at tapes at 5 30 it has something has to happen at 5 30 and because i'm i'm man from school age on i was a terrible procrastinator yeah and that kind of beat it out beat it out of you yeah i so i can only get things done if someone else has set a deadline for me that's just that's how i yeah like i'm i i i in the same way like i will work really hard but someone has to tell me to work yeah yeah if i'm in charge, it's really bad. Yeah. And I still, at this age, I think like, well, I've got to change that. But I don't know if I'm capable of it.

I mean, I do, as time has gone on, I've gotten sort of more, because I've had to be in some way uh like more self-directed but i don't know whether i should just go with it just go with it or keep trying to fix it i am agon this has been my agony for years and years and my therapist i feel i just feel so bad. I should just cut them loose because it's like the same old, you know, I want to be doing more. But then when I'm left to my own devices, I don't do anything. Oh my God. Can you make a tape so I can play it for my therapist so he can just hear it in a different voice? Why don't we switch therapists? They would never know.

For a while. It'll probably be the exact same. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It'll be it'll probably be the exact same yeah yeah exactly it'll be like uh mike i mean andy um please sorry yeah yeah no it's it's bad it's bad yeah i i at the exact same crossroads just lean in to being a lazy piece of shit and just go with it. Well, I prefer to think of it as, uh, uh, other directed, like I'm directed by others. Like I'm such a fucking empath and I'm so devoted to my fellow man that that's

why I'm a lazy slob because I'm just waiting for someone to give me the permission to reach my full potential. All your energy is going to other people yeah yeah and you're not saving that time for yourself how did that happen that you change that you switch from being the day-to-day head writer to then uh matt o'brien came in to do the day-to-day show and you're sort of left to do more sort of, you're like an emeritus now. You do the travel shows and very funny written bits. You'll come in every now and then.

Once in a while. Yeah. Yes. When someone tells me to do it. You know what? It was like 2015. I was just like, I can't just keep doing this head writer job. It's just crazy. You know what it was? We did a week of shows at Comic-Con. And every time we ever, like we do a week of shows

in Chicago, we do a week of shows in New York, we do a week of shows in San Francisco. I mean, you know what it's like those yeah there's like 3 000 people in the audience they go insane when you walk out right before the show starts there's a roar you think the roof's gonna fall in and then the show starts it's insanity and the first night of those weekly shows i would always get a tingle up my spine and i remember at comic-con we had all this great comedy the rehearsals went very well the crowd was going insane and i i it's the first time i didn't have the old excitement yeah it's like it i i remember that i was like oh this this isn't ideal.

You know, like that crazy tingling excitement was gone. So I thought. Was that the first Comic-Con that we did? Yeah, that was like in 2015. Yeah. Because we've done. Yeah. Haven't we done like four of them?

Four or five. Yeah, four or five. Yeah. Yeah. So I just kind of dwelt on that for a while. And also it was really hard he wanted to be doing more travel shows and i was like well it's really hard to do that and the head writer yeah job because it's very time so i just went to conan and um proposed what if i stopped being head writer and just worked on the travel shows and any outside

stuff you're doing like um he he hosted a do you remember when he hosted the nobel peace prize concert yes in oslo in oslo yeah yeah but that was a ton of work though but it was also one of my favorite things ever because we were at we're at the nobel peace prize award ceremony it was him me jason chalemeyart field producer and like you know our camera guys and jason munos our sound man and we're just like we're all we thought we were gonna get arrested and tossed out of there but and then he had to host a show for like 8 000 norwegians in this cavernous arena at it was it was crazy it well i mean when you think nobel peace prize concert you go right to conan o'brien he's gotta be there yeah you know what i think they stopped doing the concert the year after we did who who

were the bands who were the bands or was it like bands of like physicists that have a beach boys cover band i was i sting was there i remember sting was there he's fun he's like a really good sport he's done a lot of stuff with us that yes i he's uh he loves comedy and um i learned a lot about the nobel prize i didn't realize the peace prize was only in norway and the other ones are all in stockholm sweden did you know that no i didn't and i wonder why um for some reason they decided to throw a bone to norway i don't know why so they're like we'll give you the peace prize yeah so they've this building that's made just to pick the peace prize winner once once a year but there's a whole giant building the whole thing's a shame they got to be able to rent that

out for weddings and stuff though that that's a great idea you know i mean come on you can't have that all the way around yeah no it's a giant waste of space anyway well um i mean i was i was happy that you did that not just for you i mean i miss you in the day-to-day running of the show because it's really gone downhill yeah yeah it's been deeply um but uh i was very i was happy that that happened because i know like i say on a plane with you riding back on a first class lufthansa flight which is which is ridiculous and then you're there working and i felt like oh my god class. Mike's got a shitty life. You know, that Berlin show is one. To me, and other people have said it, it's the funniest. I think it's the funniest travel show. There's Conan with the dominatrix, which is hilarious.

And then the scene you did with conan where um with the you took a shoe plow their dance yeah the slapping dance right and you and conan are in lederhosen um and they're being you two are being well everyone had been drinking yes an hour which was helped make it extra fun well we were literally in the hofbrau we were literally in like in a hofbrau and then and the place is pretty much closed but the people working there like you want some beer like to all of us like oh yeah sure why not i mean it's what we do all we do is let us do what we do for you and then you guys got a lesson from two twin twins or they were brothers and their dad we didn't know that the musician who was playing with him was their dad yeah and like i i hired

this musician they said oh they they've got a guy and then the guy turned out to be their dad and he was kind of you know it just became us you two both zeroed in on the sordid family relationship yeah yeah of this father playing accordion these two sons slapping each other's ass for money yeah it was it was yeah it was a fun thing and and that dad guy was wonderfully unimpressed with any of our of our shenanigans and also like it's a great street yeah and he really he was like hey you got to do you know if you're going to do this shoe slapping folk dance you got to do it right you know like right it's like yeah no he was all business which was exactly what you want it was the perfect perfect who would think a german would be a good streamer. Yeah, yeah. A German who's celebrating small-town culture.

Right. Small-town German culture. Yeah, so I'm glad I'm not doing that anymore. Matt O'Brien's doing a great job. And you know what? I, like, when I watch rehearsal now, it's like, oh, my God. Because that used to be me in the hot seat.

Yeah. Next to Conan, who's's between you and conan you're super sharp he's crazily sharp and you know all the comedy bits kind of have to you know you and conan are usually seeing them for the first time yeah and you know they have to pass muster with you guys. And it's brutal. There's so many times I was really confident about stuff. I'm like, they're going to love this. It would just get zero laughs in rehearsal.

And it kind of cracked me up because it's like, of course. Of course. Yeah. And, you know, it'd be like, like what are we gonna do on the show today yeah no that was that was um for my evolution you know i mean because i i had acted before but i had never really done well and i had worked on a pilot for a tv show you're talking about before you started before i started on late right but that process of figuring out the comedy and and being well in a way being brutal about it

like just being like no i'm sorry that doesn't work and and yeah and realizing early on like that that's the way it has to kind of be. Yes. Because you don't have any time. If you want it to be good. If you want it to be good, and you don't have any time to assuage feelings. It's like, no, no, this is, or just the, you know, like, well, we got to make this work. It needs a new ending.

You know, and then we got to think of an ending. Yes. well we got to make this work it needs a new ending you know and then we got to think of an ending and i keep going from that out here to la when i came out here to do sitcoms right i realized very quickly that when somebody makes a pitch and it's not really good they go they'll be like well that's a really good idea but i think we could maybe do but where i was just like no that's not funny and people were like what a dick but i mean funny. And people were like, what a dick. But I mean, I was like, who's this horror? Well, and then there also, too, is the sitcom fake laughter that happens. Oh, my God.

At rehearsals and stuff where, you know, like for every joke, the writers are like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, my God. I had never the go ahead yeah i yeah no the first time i'd ever encountered that was at late night and it's in my office and someone put a tape in in the outer room and i've never heard laughter like this most explosive laughter and it was a table read for a sitcom yeah and i thought it was i thought it was fake yeah i'm like this is fake right and they're like no all the writers laugh but but it was such fake it's yeah who who like who falls for

that well they all do and then they all and then if you don't you're a dick like i oh my god i wouldn't laugh at things. I could see that. And writers would sort of, after a while, come up to me like, wow, you're really tough to make laugh. And I'm like, no, I'm not. No, I'm not. You know? And I mean, and then there's other things, too, where I think writers, they give you something and you read it and you go like, oh, that's really funny. Which, you know, because.

Well, that's common. Yeah. It's like. People going, oh, yeah, that'll work. That's like people going oh yeah that that'll work that's great or that'll work oh that's great yeah you know and and i always think it's like i don't know what out out here it just seemed like yeah out here in la it just seemed like people it's like magicians going oh ah like to each other's magic tricks it's like they we know never catch on it's a gimmick relax to where the bunny is yeah yeah wait you run and they're the ones who wrote the magic trick that's i know i know i it's so self-serving it's like that's fantastic i know i went one of my first i was on um uh uh just shoot me uh when marsh mccall who was a head writer on the conan show was a

head writer there and i got a uh i did a guest spot on that and um i was sitting we there was like one of the run-throughs you know like it was well we had done the table read and this was and then you rehearse all day and then they were going to do a run through for the writers and it was after lunch and brian posain and i were sitting backstage like behind the set kind of in semi-darkness just like reading or sitting there kind of chilling out waiting for our time and i heard them all on the other side of the flat come in and start the rehearsal and it was a scene with georgegal. And David Spade. And they start. And you hear the dialogue.

Start, start. And then the first laugh line comes. And the loud burst of laughter. Actually startled me. Because it was like. The fifth time. The fifth time that we'd all heard this fucking joke. And they're all like. Sick. Oh man. That's exactly what the laughter sounds like too and i it's the thing that kills me is how do you know how do you know

when there's a wolf if everyone's saying wolf all the time yes you know it just i never understood with sitcoms where you know they they do a scene several times and they kind of tell the audience, hey, you got to pretend you didn't hear it. It's like, what? No, that's not. But to me, I would just be like, oh, well, let's come up with something else. But it's just kind of they ram it into the ground. Yeah. Well, and I did find doing multi-camera sitcoms out here that

the audience really wants to help like they're just there to help so they will laugh every time as you know yeah but that's different that's like you're asking the townsfolk to help us do this barn raising and the barn is a sitcom but it's right but i mean it's like i we shouldn't be laughing at it but no no no yeah and that's like going back to the late night thing it literally like there was no time you're right there was no time and that that was like when something went great there was no time to kind of like oh look what i'm look what i did and that kind of like there was no time to kind of like, oh, look what I did. And that kind of, there was no glory lap. But on the other hand, when things bombed, like you wrote something and it bombed in rehearsal, you were also very grateful to move on quickly.

And there wasn't time to dwell on that. No, no. know there wasn't time to dwell on that no no as uh tommy blatcher who's one of the writers on the show said you said you pitch it once if somebody says no let it go unless you really think that it's really great then pitch it a second time and if it gets turned down a second time then let it go and that's that is a very good rule yeah do not i i know people pitch the same thing and it's like what do you do everyone remembers the first time you did it yeah and and no one no one went for it and it's you're not helped it's just you start looking some there are some some writers that i've come across who uh part of their uh component of their of their sort of you know makeup in writing comedy is that

there should be some justice you know like like wait this is the best joke and everyone's like i'm sorry it just it isn't you know and that is that's one of my favorite things yeah i'll never forget because i was doing stand-up at the time when everyone was um you know it's like who's gonna replace letterman who's gonna replace letterman and i was you know working at clubs in new york and stuff and we're out one night after you know you go out to a diner every night and it's like two in the morning and i guess they had flown all these comedians to la to audition for lauren michaels and um you know it was a week later and it's like who's it gonna be and then they we found out that night it was a guy named conan o'brien

not a stand-up he was a writer and all all the comedians were outraged yeah like he didn't do he didn't go through the clubs and i was just like like, ha ha. It's not a law firm. You're not making partners. It's show business. And people, anything can happen. Like that to me is the first thing you learn is there's no fairness. Or your perception of what should be fair. Throw that out the window day one.

And just enjoy the good with the bad because it's all going to be insane yeah and i i just i remember i'd never heard of them and i was just delighted that a non-comic got the job yeah yeah just and they were outraged and you know what? I've dealt with writers on shows, exactly what you're saying, who the same way, they would be mad if a joke that they thought was great didn't get on. Yeah. And then they'd come to me as head writer and go, can you laugh harder at this joke? And I was like, no. Oh, boy. Like when we read it in front of Conan, I'm like, no, no, no, no.

Wow. I'm not going to do that. I can't wait till we're off podcast and I can ask you exactly who it was. Because I had some guesses. Sure. Well, now you're not a Californian. You're from New Jersey, correct? I grew up in New Jersey.

And you're from an jersey correct i grew up in new jersey yeah and you're from a uh irish catholic household correct well yeah i yeah i didn't grow up with any sense of being irish or catholic catholic i was catholic yeah i guess but but not i never went to catholic school i just went to public school and so i had had to go to Sunday school where I didn't, you know, I paid zero attention. And so, yeah,

but it's funny. It's like, as I became an adult, I would notice things and I'd be like, oh, I'm Irish. Like personality traits, you know,

like being paranoid or never forgetting, you know, being paranoid paranoid or or or never forgetting you know if someone crosses you like that yeah like i'd see this in other people and i'm just like oh okay yeah or like abs possibly drinking abs and abscesses of rage that even you didn't know were there that all of a sudden come out oh yeah i need a pocket here and i'm angry about something yeah yeah no but i i just it was like a very white suburb of new jersey and um and so it was very generic like i thought everyone was catholic and jewish that's the makeup of the neighborhood i grew up in yeah and i thought I'd never met a wasp. I think there was a guy who was a Methodist in high school and I thought he was like a

persecuted minority. A unicorn. I just thought everyone was Catholic or Jewish. Yeah. That was it. And you have two sisters, right? Is that right? I have two older sisters.

I was the baby. You're the baby. And were you treated as such? I was totally, yes. Yeah was totally yes yeah yeah yeah yeah no i like when i we finally were gonna have a child i wanted a girl because i i felt like raised by women yeah because my father really wasn't around so it's mostly my mother and my two sisters and that's what i was used to and i never had a brother so uh i just assumed i always more comfortable around the female yeah gender yeah yeah than the male but um yeah i mean i had i mean i i've told you before i had a crazy upbringing yes i mean every everyone

that's had a crazy but no but yours is i mean, just throw out a few of the details. I mean, I don't... Show enough of my penis to win the longest penis. What? The Milton Berle. That old Milton Berle joke. Oh, right, right. Right?

Right, right. Just take out enough to win, yeah. Just enough to win. Yeah, yeah. No. Well, I just, you know, my mother had something called dissociative identity, which used to be called multiple personality disorder. They changed the name for some reason i i guess well isn't it because the multiple personality is kind of like not entirely apt that it's like it's not necessarily i think you're right yeah i think you're right like i remember seeing that show the united states of

tara do you remember that yeah or sybil sybil was the first one sybil was the first one but then united states of tara tried to make it like like the husband like they started buying outfits for her different characters the wife's characters and i was just like oh that's not how it works yeah it's no no one's hanging around for fun time there are no fun times yeah yeah um but we didn't know that when we were little we just knew that um i mean in hindsight it's like oh yeah those were different personalities but she would just set off on this rage at my father that would always culminate in in violence so you knew it was coming and she had like she'd start grabbing butcher knives and chasing like it literally I I used I you felt like

you're in a cartoon because it was you know a house where the dining rooms connected to the kitchen which is connected to the hallway to the living room to the dining room and you'd literally be running around in a circle chasing you and you're like should i should i cut back the other way or you know it i mean it was it was terrible we were kids so it was terrible yeah yeah and then she turned us against our father because he was an alcoholic so she's like i act this way because because your father the way your father behaves and you know if he would only act normal and stop drinking i wouldn't act this way and you know we were like i was 10 years old

you she brainwashed us basically yeah my sisters and's and I. And we all just believed her. And then she'd turn us against him. So then our job was like, if she got mad at him, we'd have to kick him out of the house and wire the doors shut so he couldn't get back in. Oh, my God. Yeah. And then he'd go sleep in a flop house somewhere. And he had a big power. He was the director of research for a pharmaceutical

company. Wow. And he was the mayor of our town. What? Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah, it's like a part-time job. Yeah. It's like a small town. So you know, he's supposed to be in the Memorial Day

parade the next day and he's sleeping out in the car in the driveway because he got kicked out of the house. Yeah. Well, did the police have to get called from time to time? Yeah. The police came sometimes. Because I would imagine, you're like, oh, I got to go out to the mayor's house again. Yeah.

No. Yeah. But I was brought up that you didn't talk about it so i never told anyone about any of this stuff till i was like i lived i ended up living at home taking care of her till i was 26 oh my god yeah wow no it was bad i mean i think about because i i lived through, you know, like a, there was a period of major dysfunction and violence in my childhood, but it was not, you know, it was like within a certain set of amount of time. Right. But what I think back on is just,

and something that I've thought about, you know, when you hear about kids living in a situation like that, or just in a situation with an unreliable parent who can explode. Right. Just the sense of never, never being able to be relaxed, to always, always feel uptight going into the place where you're supposed to feel most secure and most safe. And that's got to, you know, I mean, did you feel that? Or was it like times where you felt, you know, you're living on eggshells because you didn't know when this person might go crazy?

All the time. Yeah. All the time. And we were all like that. And it was hard to predict what would trigger it was literally like setting a lighting a fuse a lot really long

fuse and you knew when it was lit and you it was you could never really predict when it was lit and then you knew it was just going to build and build and the tension of the building to when the violence started i mean there are times i we would like if things would erupt and it would be close to

bedtime and then you'd go up and try to go to sleep and i would literally push furniture against the door so i could sleep because i knew like at 1 am. she was going to come up with a knife or she'd go to the garage and get a pitchfork or something. I mean, really dramatic. Or an axe. Once my sisters and I were locked in the upstairs bathroom and she was chopping. She was doing the shining. She was chopping through the door. And I was looking out the window trying to were we're we're i was looking out

the window like trying to figure out how badly we'd get hurt if you know we had to jump but um there there is one there's one time i finally uh uh kind of this is years later i mean that's that's when we were young teens but like when i was um i was living uh just with her and i must have been 23 or 24 and go i was it was starting to really screw with my head and i there was one night where I just like, you know what, that is it. And I, I just had it. And I went downstairs to the garage and I got, I got a chainsaw. I came up to the room, the TV room where she's sitting. I started the chainsaw. I was just like, screaming, like, you like it?

How do you like it? You know, I was like, I'm going to, I'm going to fucking kill you. I'm going to kill you. And she just looked at me and laughed. And I was, I was just like wow she's she's a good super villain wow she's impressive and i i'll i'll i mean it's hard i it helps me to say it out loud but i almost i was on the edge of killing her and i've no i uh And I was very close and never before or since, obviously, but I turned my chainsaw off and put it downstairs. But I had to pull myself back from it.

Sometimes I'll hear about teenagers who are in an abusive family and they kill their father-in-law or something like that. And it upsets me so much because from my own experience, I understand that when you're in that nuclear family, you don't know you'll ever be able to just escape from it. It seems so obvious. I mean, looking obviously, but- It seems like there's no way out. Like, it's just, this is it. When you're in it and you're young and your parents have always been dominating like that, you don't see a way out. Yeah. And. Well, I think also, too, you're living in a perpetual fight or flight state.

Right. And there's no room for conceptualizing. Like, you can't, in the middle of a fight or flight state, think, what will my life be like in two years? Right. Oh, no. the middle of a fight or flight state think what will my life be like in two years you know you're just you're just thinking about now now i'm either going to die or i'm not going to die or now you know like just or and not even so much die just the world's going to end you're going to end everything and i just don't think that there's any room for you to think in in theoretical terms about the future you just are in the now and that's yeah and that's you're trapped there by these fucking crazy people yes by the way i want to say i'm

i'm really good with the chainsaw and uh you know brush cleared or i do the job right uh clean up and leave they don't have to worry about any and when it comes to chainsaw you can be a man of action not just talk right right yeah my my mother did call the police on me once um around this time believe it or not because i i you know i went to law school and i was studying for the bar exam and um my girlfriend called up and my mother got on the phone and started calling her a whore so i got upset and um i kind of yelled at her and threw up against the refrigerator and she oh well she grabbed a butcher knife so So I knocked the knife out and pushed her against the refrigerator. And she went into her bedroom and called the cops and said I was trying to kill her.

So it was the night before the bar exam. And I had a lot of studying left to do. And six, the entire town's police. It's making me dizzy. All these police cars showed up. And I'm just like, oh, gosh oh gosh this is gonna cut into my study time like i literally was just recalibrating um you know when am i gonna when am i gonna finish studying torts if i have to deal with these cops and you know they all surround it like i came out

to the the front port i mean i'm it's i knew it was funny i i and but they all surrounded me like oh don't don't move don't move you know and i'm like okay let's let's talk yeah but don't they know i mean haven't these cops been to this house before and they know um no you know what no no one like the last time cops were there before that was like when i was seven or eight oh yeah so no no we had all been um we'd been left alone like our none of no one in my family reached out to help us um everyone was your dad gone your dad gone at this he died when i was 19 yeah oh okay uh and that was crazy too because he died of emphysema and the last years of his life he was on those giant oxygen tanks and um he ended up rooming with me in my room but because

we had been kind of brainwashed against him i didn't talk to him for the two the two years we were oh my god but i would change his you know oxygen tanks for him but i was i literally thought he was the enemy and i wasn't allowed to talk to him and then when he died my sisters and i this is how brainwashed we were we thought my mother would be fine because he was dead and so we were excited we were happy and you know of course then instead of him being the main focus we became the main focus of all her craziness and um was there a revisionist history that he was a saint after he died that kind of thing or or was he still a bad by the children by your mom by your mom oh no no no yeah no no she but then she just turned on us and and you know would you know she told us we could never leave

we could never move out we had to we owed it to her to make her you know she's upset but we're it's all our fault and we're not doing our responsibilities around the house blah blah blah and then like if you you know after a night of her being crazy and trying to kill you like if you she'd be like you seem upset today what what's wrong because she would be kind of she'd be a different person she'd forget what's what's what you know what what's bothering you and i was like well you you know chased us around with a knife you and you tell her everything and she'd be like i don't know what you're talking about like she'd literally say i don't i don't know what you're talking and then two hours later she'd be like

you know i thought about what you said and you just made that stuff up to get out of your responsibilities here. And, and then she'd build up from there and get crazy again. So, so you never got a moment. There was zero satisfaction. There was never even like, I'm sorry.

You know what? I'm sorry for what it was. You started to wonder whether you were hallucinating or not. It's just crazy. Yeah. It was crazy. It was crazy. Now, why it was crazy now why and i mean and this is something because i've known i mean i did i knew and you've talked before about these similar incidents um and there are no repeats at this like she really she had new programming all the time and uh but i'm how do you come out

of that as normal as you are how do you come out of that as kind of an even keeled like you're well a wonder i mean from what i can see you're a wonderful father you're a wonderful husband you were great to work with you're a a very much of like you're just a very even kind thoughtful person and you have every reason in the world to be a monster i well i i think when i was little i was like the peacekeeper in the house and so you know i try to make my mother laugh you know that old thing where you right right but but i think when she wasn't having these episodes she was a very loving mother so you know i i i'm i'm telling you the dramatic stuff but when she wasn't like that she was i think a really smart funny uh loving mother so i i think that's why um i i I felt kind of normal.

And my sisters, too. I mean, we're super tight now because we went through this together. Yeah. Did you all cope with it? Did your sisters cope with it okay, too? Yeah, I think we all did. That's incredible. I mean, I never told anyone about this until I was like 24 years old, and I thought I was going to get struck by lightning because it had been drummed into me.

You never talk about what happens in your home, which is another Irish thing. Yeah. But, yeah. But, you know, then I started going to therapy and that helped. Yeah. And stopped any relationship with my mother. Like, I'd invite her to her wedding. stopped any relationship with my mother like i'd invite her to her wedding and you know we just had because she was just really bad you know yeah she was i at the time i considered her to be

evil i mean but you know obviously it's it's severe mental illness yeah did you ever get a did you ever get a sense from her that she was aware that she was sick? No. And years and years later, I guess around 10 years ago, she was living alone. And it always ate at me. And I was like, I'm going to get a call that she's been dead for a month. And cats have broken into the house to eat her and all that stuff and and and it and it's gonna end horribly and i'm gonna feel guilty even though i shouldn't feel guilty um oh well but then she heard her back in the house and my sisters um got her to an emergency room and while they were treating her back they were like going to the doc because because we used to try to talk her into going to get mental

to please please go see a doctor and she was like there's nothing i don't know what you're talking about there's nothing wrong with me you're making all this stuff up none of this is true it's all you three children are the problem now that your father's dead and blah blah blah blah blah so they finally get her to a hospital and she's admitted for her her injured back and they're like please i don't know if they tipped him or what they did they're like please give her a psychiatric exam and they they they locked her up for two days and gave her all these tests and they said she had a very rare uh form where she's never truly never understands that there's something wrong with her wow and they put her on all these

medicines and they worked her the last two years of her life she was just the the good mother the whole time wow and i would talk to her on the phone and have a great conversation with her and i would hang up and i would literally be stunned for five minutes after each phone call in total i just couldn't believe and you know when she uh passed away i i felt like it was a miracle that I was able to end things on a very positive note. That was something I never saw that coming. Wow. Yeah, I did not see that coming. So did you live with her through college when you went to college?

Did you stay at home? Yeah, because I commuted to Newark. I drove down to Rutgers and newark every day and then i commuted to law school three years and i didn't want to go to law school my she was like you're going to law school i was like okay and you know she like filled out the applications and she got me into some good schools and she was pretty great mom she got me to law school yeah i never wanted to be a lawyer and then i was like in law school that i was such a i didn't know i could quit like i always wanted ever since this little kid i wanted to do something with comedy yeah and uh you know at the time i was like oh i'd love to do stand to try stand-up comedy. And I'm like, well, I'm in law school.

Like, I don't know. I didn't know I could quit. So I went through law school and then I was. And became a lawyer. I was a trial lawyer in Manhattan for three years. Yeah. So I, I, that's when I finally moved out. Um, cause you know, it just, but yes, I lived home with her for seven years of college.

Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And when, what kind of lawyer, you were a trial lawyer for what? Oh, the worst kind for an insurance company. Oh, so like you were the one trying to find out when people hurt themselves and sued somebody, you were the one that said like, you faker. Right. Yeah.

sued somebody you were the one that said like you faker right yeah and the good thing about it was if if my client whoever is representing was guilty of hurting someone i could just settle the case and get like money and so the only cases i ever truly defended were ones where they were fake and there were a lot of fake ones oh and i i didn't know that i was 25 i was very young and naive and about people lying and and i learned the the plaintiff lawyers don't get paid unless they make money yeah they get a third if they don't make any money they don't get anything so they are very motivated i mean people we found out like some lawyers would use old x-rays from first for from other yeah wow and and witness there were they'd hire witnesses to say they saw an accident. There's one lawyer who finally got caught.

He was getting millions of dollars from the city. And someone finally figured out that it was the same witness in all these different trials. And even then, they couldn't prove it until they found out that one day he said he saw an accident. He was in Rikers Island in jail. And then, finally, that's the level of proof you need to take down some of these lawyers. I mean, they're unbelievable. Wow. They're unbelievable.

Yeah. Go ahead. Oh, they're unbelievable. Yeah. But, uh, so, and they're, yeah, go ahead. But you're, what makes you finally go like enough is enough. I got to go do some comedy. Oh, the second I moved into the city, I, I was doing like trials during the day and I started doing standup at night.

You had written material. Had you been writing material i started writing stuff and then i found this you know um small club called good times that like it was kind of easy to get on stage air and so i just started going there and going there and um and then eventually i got into like the comic strip and catch rising star and then i had no money saved i had zero money and i just quit the law job and i because i when i was making like uh fifty dollars a week doing stand-up um my rent was really low i was like okay this is it so i just quit and uh um i i remember the last trial i did somehow the jury found out i was doing stand-up and they came to the comedy club after the jury did yeah the jury oh that's awesome yeah yeah yeah it was a very good last trial because the judge like i used to

crack i used to make a lot of jokes in court and the judge in that case was like he goes you know i have a feeling you're not long for the law profession i feel like you're headed in it and i was like wow that's nice of the judge to say yeah yeah um because the previous trial i did in federal court the judge i made like a joke to the jury and he called me up and said he was gonna find me in contempt if i made one more joke to the jury and i was like well what's the point of this job yeah if you can't make jokes if you can't joke with the jury yeah but um yeah so i just quit and then i was doing stand-up i did that for nine years before i i uh started working at conan wow so that was like a whole second wow yeah yeah yeah like from 86 to 95 wow yeah in in new york city mostly but i traveled a

lot to do yeah stand up i loved it because the first time i met you was in a very early remote bit that we did on this on the with doug llewellyn who was the reporter from the people's court right and then and it was all new to me anyway you know i mean it was all new to everybody but it was just like oh there's this guy here who's a comedian and i think it had been your idea is that why yeah yeah i i had done a submission and uh robert speichel who is really great to me he said look i've already we already have all the writers but we like this one idea with doug llewellyn where he would stand outside the courthouse downtown manhattan and ask people because he had just left the people's court so

now we had him asking people coming out of the courthouse like how do you think it went like the same thing he did on the people's court yeah yeah it's pretty simple idea but um so that you guys shot that remote before late night even started started yeah in august and smigel is very nice he invited me down to watch and i was terrified to show up and i remember meeting you i'll never forget because i met conan and he's all high energy he's like hey thanks you know's like, hey, thanks. You know, blah, blah, blah, blah. I was like, oh, he seems like a nice guy. And then I met your Frost producer.

He's like, oh, you know. And then they're like, oh, and this is Andy. And you were on a bench just reading the newspaper. And you kind of looked up like, yeah, who the fuck are you? And I was like, oh, my God, who is this guy? You are so self-possessed. And I was very impressed by you right away. Oh, gosh, who is this guy? You are so self-possessed. And I was very impressed by you right away. Oh gosh, thanks.

It sounds like I was a dick, but- No, you weren't a dick. You weren't a dick. I was like, that guy seems really cool. You just- Oh, thanks. Not a dick. That came later when you moved to LA.

Did sick ops. Well, come on, you got it. Just very comfortable in your own skin oh thank you yeah i just like that that guy's impressive yeah i mainly just wasn't sure what was going on and uh you know probably it's a good article of paper and i wasn't sure why i was there and you know have you talked a lot about how you became the sidekick because you were hired to be one of the writers yes i had yeah i had mentioned it i've mentioned it before i was hired all right um but yeah but i mean just in on the conversation because i was hired because i i had met roberts michael through a friend when i was living in la and we hit it off and then he went then i just he reached

out to me and was like hey i'm gonna and i was the same thing i'd heard i was back in la and i had because i had gotten the job on uh the movie cabin boy right and um i just got a message from Robert. Hey, I'm working with this guy, Conan O'Brien. And I had just like, you know, like I sat. Jeff Garlin invited me to a pilot taping that he did. And it was like it was like some sitcom where he played a cop or something. I don't even remember. But I Kate Flannery, who's an old friend of mine and i went and we sat in the audience and we were sitting in front of bob odenkirk and carol leifer and i knew

bob kinda but i sat and just eavesdropped on them talk about bob's friend conan getting the getting the late night job you know right and um and probably a little bit of I'm sure there was a component of Bob being like, why isn't it me? You know, because I because there was a lot of that. It's the same thing that you say about the stand ups. Right. I think everyone of it, you know, like between the ages of 21 and 37, who had ever made anyone laugh was like, how come him? Why not me? That should be me yeah yeah now everyone everyone's that way now with odin kirk but instead it's about being an action

an action movie yeah an action hero or oscar winner or whatever right right um yeah yeah or in or in little women like why wasn't i in little way oh my god one of my favorite entrances yes hello my little women or something um but anyway uh and then i and so i was hired i was the first writer hired and there was with the notion that i'd be doing some performing and then it just evolved in i think it was robert's idea it just evolved into like robert saying when there were camera tests go sit next to conan and keep him company and talk to him and then i just would talk to him and also too we had worked up a you know like conan and i had worked up an act around right around the halls too like how much time how

much time when you say you worked up an act how long had you guys been in the hallways probably three months probably three months yeah i mean you already had kind of a good rapport yeah definitely him burning hot and you yes well and also too you know like there was a you know he he he's an excellent guitar player and he practices all the time we you and I know this. Yes. And he's much better now. But in those days, especially when he would be learning a riff, everyone on the show would have to hear him learn how to play, I don't know, Return to Sender or some old rockabilly song. But he'd ask your permission first.

Oh, no, no, no. He would just practice the same riff, you know. But he used to do this to people. And it's just now that you know him, it's just part of his, like, completely weird silliness. And sort of like having a child that needs Adderall, kind of that. Right, right, right. But he would just come up to people and start playing guitar

and singing. He did that to me. Yeah, and singing at them. And everyone was like, what do I do? What do I do? This is my boss. What do I do?

And yeah, but you had, so you had that same thing. No, the same thing. I could keep going. And I was freaking out. Like I thought it was a test and i was supposed to am i supposed to dance what am i i was freaking out i i mean there were a

couple times i was just kind of like okay he's just gonna stand there and sing to me like he's a right like it's an italian restaurant and he's a strolling violinist but what I started to do when he would do it is I would get up and like like like clap and dance like it was a hoedown and uh and then it you know and then it was just kind of it was like whereas everyone else kind of just stood there and stared at him but I was just kind of like oh come on you leaned into it yeah it's like this I mean it's like when you know somebody's funny and they're doing something that you're sort of, you know, like I just I didn't feel like, oh, I got to treat him like the boss. Right. You know, because I instantly felt like, oh, no, he's just like me.

You know, he's a guy cut from the same cloth as me. So I would want somebody to say, what the fuck are you doing you know i want someone to try to help you yeah and then that and that just kind of evolved into my job basically which is to go like shut up sit down you know when uh when no one else will do it um but yeah but it was and then well and then at that time robert was the head writer and then he left and marsh was the head writer because they yeah there was uh i don't know if it's but and then and then marsh is there for sure and then jonathan groff was there for a long time yep were you hired when jonathan was there he and i started the same day oh wow and nine months later he was a head

writer i was like oh i'm i guess i'm a i i'm a little slow on the uptake here he just bam yeah blew past everyone and became the head writer and uh he was great he was but i, but you guys both have, well, you have what I think is the two most important things generally to do that job, which is like, first of all, a good sense of humor, like good taste. And the secondly is your people, people, you know, like, you know how to talk to people. That is as sadly that i mean it it is i i actually always loved dealing with people and work it's like problem solving yeah you know which so i i did like that aspect of it i used to watch again i'd watch rehearsals i'd be in an office with you know michael gordon and brian rich or you know brian and brian kiley and i'd watch rehearsal and i'd be see groth holding down the the fort next to

conan with you and i was just like i can't i'd say it every day that i can't think of a worse job than being head writer yeah and but then when i i they offered to me i was like you know you feel like well you have to i don't know i feel like i yeah i had to say yes so you know it's just like then it was trial by fire yeah yeah it's a big learning curve but but it's just when things aren't going well in rehearsal. It's brutal. It's a weird job. It's also kind of like, I mean, and it's been, I mean, aside from trial lawyer,

it's been your professional life. Yeah, no. You know what I'm saying? Is that okay like are you okay that you didn't become like a big star stand-up comedian or that oh you know yeah you know what it's like i love doing stand-up um but the second i started working on the corn show i i also really loved shooting things and editing things and i i really enjoyed writing i i i really found it fulfilling to hear you or conan doing jokes that i wrote like that was and having the audience laugh yeah i never thought of it as being a tv show i thought of it as

we're putting on this show for this group of 200 people every day and which is a great way to think about it yeah no i never watched you know i i wouldn't go home and why i did that was the experience to me yeah when we were taping it and no i found it incredibly rewarding yeah Yeah. I know so many comics that I worked with who had very – they're like, I'm going to have my own sitcom. I'm going to have this. They had a very strong sense. And I like doing comedy, and it was going well but i didn't i never had defined goals so you know i got hired um to do the warm-up on conan and then that led to the writing job and i just once i started doing the writing gig i i really loved it um and i love being head writer i mean i don't

make it sound like i mean it was it was really fun i mean really fun it's been yeah it's fun to be in charge of that but also too but i mean but it's also it's also difficult i mean it's also like conan i love conan conan is like family but there are days you know he's high strung and it's hard sometimes yeah and i mean and i'm and how how did you cope with sort of just the and also too there's just you get sick of people you know you just get when when you're in proximity working on that show is really like being trapped with someone working in a show like this because you're there for hours and hours and hours yeah and i just wonder how do you how would you deal with those kind of moments when you like just

get sick of each other i mean because bonan and i deal with it with each other we have to talk we talked about it you know right but i i i think i love just i've always loved everyone you know what for me i like having been a lawyer and done all this other stuff just being around other you know that that term like you know meet your own no hang out with your own people i think just being around funny people every day was such a joy to me that i never got i never got sick of anyone i just was i felt like i always felt like the luckiest person on the planet to be around really, really funny people and laughing,

laughing all day. and so, yeah, things would get tense and stuff, but I, there, um, well,

you know what? Yeah. Like sometimes Conan would be in a bad mood during rehearsal and I, I'd always think, oh, he, oh, you know, I let him down. I let him down. I'm letting down the show. And then sometimes later I'd find, oh, you know what? He had just done the prep for the interview that night.

And he wasn't excited about the guest or the guest didn't have good ideas for their segment. And he carried that mood into rehearsal and he'd go yeah or just there's other things going on in his life or other things going on in his life but you know how you don't think that right at the time you're just like oh god what have i done yeah yeah and believe me there are tons of times it was definitely me it was my fault but i was excited to find out, you know, sometimes, uh, you know, there were other,

yes, other things pushing Conan's buttons. Cause it's crazy. All the stuff he has to keep track in his mind for a show every night, you know, there's an interview, which, you know,

no one else, everyone else deals with their own little silo and he has to kind of deal with everything, which, you know, it's a big burden so yeah are there are there yeah the few if we'd have arguments i i always treated it kind of like a marriage like i'd never want to go to bed angry and so if i we ever had a b for anything he and i were really

good at just talking it out and resolving it because it was never, it was always super minor. Yeah, yeah. But it is weird. Nothing real. It is weird that he insisted that he sleep with you. And I know it was weird. It was weird for your wife for many years. And you know what? He's so different in bed than he

relaxes. Yeah. And I'm the more high energy guy and he kind of just folds into me. He rolls with it. It's nice. Yeah, yeah. Beautiful spooners. Are there moments or bits or things that you look back on with more pride than you do of other things?

What are your proudest things that you can think of that you did well you know what i i liked when i was a writer because the great thing about that show is if you wrote something you produced it under and you know you were responsible for creating it a bit from soup to nuts so you really would feel ownership and um i i you know there are a lot of different things i did that yes i was proud of and they did well and and you know you know the other writers liked it that's all that's all you really cared about like the other writers and you and conan like something i didn't i didn't even care if you guys like something rehearsal i didn't even care if you guys like

something in rehearsal i didn't even care if it didn't do well yeah well you do care you do care you want the audience to like it right because then you know but but um that was the hard thing about being the head writer too was that like you know like you'd add little bits to pieces on the show, but you never had that sense of ownership. It was more kind of helping out piecemeal. I was really proud of the head writer work, but it's funny. It's different than like, oh, look what I wrote and made. Your individual bits. Yeah.

I did a thing a year ago. Now I'm doing stuff like that again. Yeah. don't it's different than like oh look what i wrote and made and your individual bits yeah like i did a thing a year ago like now i'm doing stuff like that again yeah like i made fun of um the uh what was that movie i can't even remember the irishman i did a parody of that so you know and i like i was proud really proud of that when it was done because i felt like i did the whole thing myself and you're and the bits that you do now are kind of more produced than most bits are because you end up getting to have a little bit more time with them yeah that's true and i i always yeah like for one of the trout like in ghana conan was talking you know the the artist who did a, sorry, in Ghana, we talked to that artist who made a poster for the show. And it was a crazy poster, a Ghanaian movie poster with you shooting a gun and, you know, Conan's Eisenhower mug with dripping blood and all sorts of.

Yeah, a tear in the axle or something. eisenhower mug with dripping blood and all sorts of tear an axle or something right and you know like as we were shooting it i was like oh i conan said you know what we're gonna make this into a movie to the guy and the second he said that i was like oh what we'll make a trailer for this yeah and i just started grinding on that and that you know and then i i just i love shooting and editing stuff i i kind of like that more than live sketches in a way just because i you can add so many more little tiny details and and there's a lot more control too you get a lot more control than if you write something for him and me to butcher right right right right uh i remember you and i did an early remote together uh and this was typical of our late night experience it was the elephants the parade of the elephants oh yeah yeah remember that the

elephants i think the train car that they came in was too big to go under the east river through the train tunnel so they get out in queens and then at midnight they would make a big deal and walk them into manhattan and into over to madison square garden yeah and you went to cover it it was one of the first remotes i did and and i just remember came out the the elephants came out of the midtown tunnel you were making some quips about the elephants and then the elephants just took off and started heading to madison square garden we're like come on let's go and our cameraman's like um i i can't run I just had two knee operations a month ago. I was just like, wait, what?

Yeah, yeah. I just love when things go wrong. Yeah. Well, yeah, I think we ended up just like using footage of the elephants, and then I stepped in in front of a green screen. Exactly. And was like, hey, we found out our cameraman had knee surgery, so we couldn't do this part.

So this is fake. Yeah, but that was a weird one. The thing I really pull from that, remembering that one, because, yeah, because they, and I don't even think it's a, I think they do it for fun. I think that they just get all the elephants off. It's Ringling Brothers. Yeah, yeah. And they walk them through, is it the lincoln tunnel that's on that the midtown tunnel midtown tunnel they walk them through the midtown tunnel and so

there's a bunch of people standing at the entrance to the midtown tunnel with about a you know probably a quarter of a mile between us and the actual mouth of the tunnel from where you stand and you see the elephants come out and there's a there are a single file and then when they come to the tunnel they line them up and then they give them a command which they must have this be able to do this on command right and every single elephant shits and pisses simultaneously and so there's all these people standing there waiting and i maybe some of them knew it was going to happen and they get the elephants all lined up and you think there's going to be some presentational thing and it's just like kaboom and the wave of stench that hit

people like i don't know if we had it on camera but it was just like whoa like just a wall of elephant shit and piss stink yeah no i remember i think we shot it yeah i don't know if we shot anyone's reaction to it i think we were too in the cameraman was too shocked too entranced also he wasn't able to turn right right my hips don't work either i can't pivot okay great well uh what's i mean you know i mean Okay, great. Well, I mean, we're now in kind of a weird, and we've been in this area a little bit before, kind of before, like, where's the show going? What's the show going to be? Right.

And there isn't really an answer to that as far as I know, because I don't even think. We know there's going to be a show on hbo max right and uh the tbs show will end in june but beyond that we don't really know we know it's gonna be smaller we know but we don't know how much what exactly the show is going to be like and uh i i by smaller i mean i think there might, I think there might, there'll be less. I assume there'll be less episodes. It'll be weak. He's doing now. It'll be weekly.

Right. It'll be once, once a week. Yeah. So it'll be, but I mean, but I, I don't,

you know, I just don't, well, it's smaller just in terms of the volume of product. Right. Exactly. That's one thing. But I also,

but I also don't think, I mean, I just, you know, it's as time has gone on, as I think Conan said in an interview once where somebody said something, I think it was in the New York Times, maybe David's golf or somebody, but he said, so was your plan to just, and this was before too, this was years ago, he did this interview and he's he said so was your plan to just just and this was before too this was years ago he did this interview he said like so is your plan to just kind of have the show get smaller and smaller till it just gradually disappears and conan was kind of like well yeah actually that's that's a great idea yeah that's sort of probably what it's going to be like you know and i don't you know because he's we've done there's nothing to be like, you know, and I don't, you know, because he's, we've done,

there's nothing to prove really. And we've been doing this forever and he likes doing it. That's why he's still doing it because he likes doing it. Cause he's doing, he's doing the podcast every week. Yeah. And yeah, I remember when we started the podcast,

I was like, Oh, is he just, is he just gonna, cause podcast is hilarious. And, and it seems like it's just an easier lift yeah in terms of doing it and um but no he loves he loves being on tv and he loves television yeah well how do you i mean what is your game plan like are you just kind of staying in a kind of a reactive mode to what happens

yeah i've been i mean this past year especially not being involved in like i'm on the zoom meetings with the other writers which has been like a lifesaver for me just because it's a daily dose of laughs and human contact yeah and human contact and i mean they're it's like i the greatest team i mean i just love everyone yeah and so we're just laughing for the whole meeting and then um but i'm not involved in like you know matt well you know you're there at largo and it's like what seven people doing the whole show yeah i think nine i think it's like okay basic and then two of those people are house people you know are like people that work at largo like flanagan and michael who's the house guy so right right you know so yeah it's three cameras

one sound one prompter one makeup a makeup person yeah and then me and then matt o'brien me and matt o'brien and jeff ross and jeff ross and sona and you yeah i mean you must is that like a lifesaver for you just oh in this time just going okay it was thank god oh absolutely i mean it was so weird when it started out and we were doing i was i i honestly felt like well first of all i felt like i was retired because right i was in my house with my dog and and it wasn't like and i kind of you know and like i couldn't go a lot of places which is like a lot of retired people they have a limited income so they can't go a lot of places so i kind of felt like this must be what it's like to be retired. But then I was getting, you know, I'd get an email. Or a TED.

Yeah, or a TED. I'd get an email and it'd be like, here's this bit. You know, like it's a bit about, you know, like you using up the liquor in your liquor cabinet to make cocktails. Right. And they'd send it to me. I'd rewrite. I actually, in a couple instances would like go to the store and buy props right i'd film it on my phone or on my computer it's like

set my computer my laptop up like fixing wherever i was shooting i'd shoot the bit it would take me 20 minutes i'd send it back and then i'd be like, oh, okay. I just wait for another email in two days when I get the bit. And then I'd sometimes do Zoom things with him. But when he started at Largo and then after a while, there was a day, because I wasn't coming in every day. I was coming in every once in a while. And there was like, somebody told me that there was a day where he's like, why isn't Andy in here every day?

It's more fun when he's here. And I like well just you know and then i immediately was getting texts change a plan you gotta come in every day like yay all right oh my god it was such a like turning point for me in this whole pandemic thing because i got to go out of the house. And even though it's a really short, like there are days when my actual work takes 20 minutes. Wow. You know, just like this, we'll get there and he's recorded somebody.

And the bit that we do is just real quick or, or it's just us talking. And then it's like, okay, that's it. Let's have some lunch and go home. Yeah. It's weird. It's's very weird but it's

fun it was always so labor intensive yeah oh no and just being able to go okay yeah tomorrow i'm back in back in the soup at largo right right yeah i gotta be at largo by 11 30 a.m right and then done by 12 40 and it's it's you two are you know he's hilarious together so well it's i mean i think that he's probably in this you know he probably sees more people than i do or just has more contact with people and he's doing the interviews and the podcast right but all over yeah but we both i think are both just happy to yes happy to be it comes across it really comes across good good you're both kind of like pigs and shit like oh my god we're we're in the same i'm in the same room with another person yeah yeah even though he's 40 feet away from yeah

yeah no that's that's great do you have any do you have any any future sort of outside like is there a screenplay you want to write? Your wife is a very successful author, Cynthia Dupree Sweeney. Yes, she just wrote her second book. Coming out April 6th. Good company. Does that give you any envy? Do you have like author envy?

I am so, no, I'm so excited and happy for her. I am so, no, I'm so excited and happy for her. Yeah. Because I, again, in terms of being lucky, I realized being, you know, a selfish asshole, like, now I understand that for years she was, like, basically raising our two kids while I was at work every night. Like, you know, we were there till, like, midnight every like midnight it could be a very consuming job yeah yes and she was a very selfless about it and really generous and so when when she wrote her she went when we moved to la she went back to to school and got her MFA in fiction writing. And then for her senior thesis, her professor said, you know what? I think this could be a novel. It started out as a short story. And she just said, okay. And she just kept writing and writing. And after two years, it was a novel.

kept writing and writing and it and after two years was a novel and she sold it and then she's going on book tours and i i got to go on book tour with her oh wow i mean that's that's another reason i i stopped being the head writer because i this book was coming out and i thought oh it would be really nice for me now to kind of be her wingman or support her in any way I can. And so for me, it's, it's been great. I I've loved it. And I've loved being,

I feel like I'm giving back a bit, all the support she gave me. I'm trying to give it back to her. That's good. Yeah. So do you, do you have any outs? Like,

is there a screenplay you're dying to write? No, I, I, again, we talked to her. If someone comes and tells me I have to write a screenplay, I dying to write no i i again we talked or if someone comes and tells me i have to write a screenplay i will write a screenplay i'm serious somebody someone give

me an assignment and i'll do it right yeah and you know supposedly i again it's show business and i never believe anything till it happens but you know they're going to be more travel shows so yeah in the future but um you know i mean with the world the way it is and and covid and now there's a new uh you know new evolving covid strains i mean i i i do feel very reactive i feel like everything is still very uncertain to me i i can't imagine things getting back to normal anytime soon. Yeah. So, yeah, I don't know what's next. I really don't. That's probably somebody wanting you to write a screenplay.

That would be great. You better pick it up. Tell me right now what to write a screenplay about. Well, is there anything you'd do differently? Is there anything looking back, you you know that like you've learned from i mean maybe move out a little earlier from your stay a trial lawyer yeah um yes oh my god yeah i was the angriest i was such an angry dick in my 20s at myself yeah for like just because i didn't start my comedy career till i was like 29 yeah and i was like i've i just what have i been doing yeah you know and i i thought it was way

too late to to get any traction or do and and um so yes i'd move out a little earlier yeah and uh uh yeah but no other than that i'm well but would you say that that slow move gave you some perspective that you wouldn't have otherwise yes you certainly have a lot more of a sort of wide meta view of the world and you are more accepting of the world than a lot of people i know you know and especially a lot of comedy people right um and i think that that you know having lived through what you lived through probably it's all kind of gravy to me yeah you know what i mean in a way so um uh wait a minute. What was the question? Oh, oh yeah. No, I just, no, you know what?

I just feel like I'm very lucky. Yeah. And I, you know, I've worked very hard. You know, I work hard, very hard, but, uh, but also just very, you know, lucky. Yeah. So, and yeah, you know what? I used to have a lot of regrets about choices i didn't make and made and i that kind of melts away as you get older yeah and i'm just like oh well like i i now

the fact i as a trial lawyer kind of cracks me kind of cracks me up it's It was like a weird little side project for six years. But no, it's true. I think the older you are, when things start to take off, the more, obviously, the more even-keeled you are about it. Yeah. Don't you think? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely.

And I also, also yeah and it just i i always a friend of mine in chicago uh she lived in this weird little sort of guest house behind a house and it was really strange i don't know what it had been but it was two stories it was like this little sort of cracker box house and it was really strange i don't know what it had been but it was two stories it was like this little sort of cracker box house and it was right next to the l in sort of a weird confluence of alleys and she had a dog that was a stray that she'd gotten on the street and i was over at her house one day and her she left the gate open. And there was like a, you know, you could see a straight shot down the alley for just blocks and blocks and blocks.

Yeah. And the dog took off through the gate and it got outside the gate and she went, hey. And it stopped and looked at the alley and looked back at her and looked back at the alley and then like slowly trotted back like it was like it was kind of like okay i know what that's like and i know what back there is like i think i'm gonna stay back there and i think that that's that's like i think about that as being there are people who have been in the alley, like they, they know.

And I mean, in, in varying degrees, they've been in the alley, you know, but there's been hardship or, you know, like no glamor and dirt and filth.

And, and you're like, Hey, what are you bitching about? This is nice. You know? Right. I mean,

granted, granted, I'm a world-class bitch, but it doesn't mean anything. It's just, it's just the steam I produce when my engine is going. I'm a world-class bitch but it doesn't mean anything it's just it's just the steam I produce when my engine is going um I'm happy to be a house dog yeah yeah I mean that's yeah you know I just I think that yeah I think that people that undergo some kind of hardship

and I at least especially with like in the silly ice cream candy mountain world of show business. Right. That they experienced in real life that they are usually the ones that aren't complaining that they've been in their trailer for three hours. You know, they're the ones that are like, I get my own fucking trailer. Like I get my own toilet. What? You know, like, all right. You know.

Don't shit in it only pee i know no no and a trailer you can shit in a trailer you can't shit in a tour bus oh okay yeah yeah that's folks oh see i'm always learning stuff no no a trailer you can shit in yeah the the teamsters come and a guy comes and pumps it out oh it's fine yeah yeah those guys really complain they have to clean it out yeah they do well mike thank you for uh for coming i mean it's it's it's kind of weird having you on just because yeah uh i know you so well and i but i mean i've had this before you know with other friends and i it is right it's almost like a license to pry a little bit more than i yeah yeah you and i were just talking right um i appreciate your time and for your frankness

and i love you very much and you know i love you you certainly have made my life better in innumerable ways and i'm very appreciative but no I'm not. Seriously. Well, that's very sweet of you to say. You know, at work. Right, right, right, right. I mean, you have a nice house and you're a good cook. My wife's a good cook. You're a good cook, too. You are an amazing cook.

Well, thank you. We don't have time to get into that. It took you long enough. I'm sure you've – oh, my God. No one slow roasts pork like you do. Hear that, ladies? Oh're you're an amazing cook well thank you thank you i like and you take pride in it too i do you you love it it's you know what else you are an amazing uh you're incredibly mechanically inclined i don't know if people know that about me Richter. Yeah, I mean, I know.

I like to put things together. I know how they work. But I learned so much at work just from watching you because you're a great, part of that is like problem solving. And you're like, you look at something and you know how to fix it. Like you literally, on the floor, you would, like if a prop was broken or something and and you mentioned teamsters you're not allowed to touch it yeah so but i i'd see you just go oh um the

ballast is in the wrong place if you move the and they'd be like oh yeah i was like that's very impressive but the same thing with comedy like you know, if something wasn't working, you just kind of have a great mind for fixing it. Yeah. It's probably the wrong thing to bring up at the very end of this podcast. No, that's, listen, it's not, I'll take it whenever I can get it. Okay, good. Yeah, no, I like to, I do, it is, I like the way things go together and they all are kind of connected. You know, whether it's cooking a meal is putting something together and writing a comedy bit is putting something together and, you know, managing relationships, putting something together.

It's all, you know, everything, everything can be structural if you look at it that way. And, and then I find it helpful to make the best of things by looking at them structurally you know there you go yeah well now it's been a pleasure being your friend all these years yes why what are you are you dumping me yeah moving on i'm getting back into bed with conan all right well i hope to see you again someday oh yeah where are you burbank i'm in Burbank I'll swing by alright we can distance alright

alright thank you so much sure Mike and and thank you all out there for listening I'll be back next week

with more blabbity blab I've got a big big love for you the three questions with Andy Richter is a team Coco and Earwolf production.

It's produced by me, Kevin Bartelt, executive produced by Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Chris Bannon and Colin Anderson at Earwolf. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, associate produced by Jen Samples and Galit Zahayek, and engineered by Will Becton. And if you haven't already, make sure to rate and review The Three Questions with Andy Richter

on Apple Podcasts. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.