The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Molly Ringwald

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

Molly Ringwald joins Andy Richter to discuss her swift rise to fame as a teenager, why she moved to Paris in the 1990s, a missed opportunity with the legendary Toni Morrison, her new show, "Feud: Capote vs. The Swans," and much more.

Hey everybody, Andy Richter here. Welcome back to The Three Questions. I am the host of the show, and today I am talking to Molly Ringwald. You know who Molly Ringwald is. Actress, writer, vital part of all of our teenage years. Well, you can see her now on FX and Hulu's feud, Capote vs. the Swans. Molly joined me via Zoom from New York, and here's my conversation with the great and smart and funny and wonderful Molly Ringwald. Hello, Molly. How are you? Hi, I'm good.

I'm good. I'm a little nervous. Why? Well, when I was asked to do the three questions, I thought that they were just like three random questions. And then I read what the questions were. And now I'm like, should I do ayahuasca first or a little psilocybin? I'm like, it sounds really heavy.

I'm high as a kite right now. Uh, you know, you start a podcast, you need a gimmick. And, uh, and I, uh, do you have a podcast or, I mean, have you, no, I thought about it, but no, I, I haven't actually pulled the trigger. It seems really time consuming. Yeah, it, it kind of can be. And, and you know, and it's also like, it's the kind of conversations that I always like to have with people who are willing to have these kind of conversations in between interviews on the Conan couch. Like, you know, where are you from? Why do you think you are the way you are? And, you know, and it doesn't hit, you know, I certainly don't want to, I'm not Barbara Walters trying to make anybody cry or anything, but it is, I've been through probably like a vacation home's worth of therapy in my life. And there's a language to it and it's a useful language and it's been really important in my life. And I just, you know, it's kind of like pop pop therapy you know and just sort of a framework for the conversation so where am i where are you where are you coming from today

i'm in new york in new york and you live there now right i do yeah i live in upstate new york how long have you been there um i've been here um I mean, like off and on since I was, you know, 18. But this trip in upstate New York, this trip, this, you know, with my kids and everything, about seven or eight years. Oh, okay. And what was it about New York where you were doing theater and you just kind of? I've just always been drawn to New York. I mean, I grew up in California. I'm from California, Northern California originally.

And I don't know. I just kind of always felt like I wanted to be back East. I wanted to, you know, have like a change of seasons. I wanted to have like a fireplace. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah and um I I've just I've just always felt more comfortable back east um and probably it has a lot to do with the fact that you know I I was a kid actor and yeah um you know Los Angeles is really has a lot of baggage for me that's what I was going to say is that is New York's main thing that it's

not LA. Yes. You know, that's the main thing going for it. And the change of seasons. And the fireplace. And the cocoa and the woolly sweaters. Yeah. And the history. I really like the, like, I've always loved to be places that feel like they have, you know, I don't know, some weight to them. And unfortunately, I feel like, I mean, California obviously has history as well, but it's, they've taken away a lot of it. Like all of the stuff that I found really kind of incredible about, you know, Hollywood, they're just, you know, getting rid of or have gotten rid of, you know. Yeah. It's a, it's a youth obsessed place so it's like you can't have old shit in a youth youth obsessed place you know yeah it's a room it's a reminder that uh you know things age and that no one wants to believe that here yeah i don't think yeah but

but i do feel like now that i've been back east for for so long uh you you know, there are things about California that I sort of took for granted, you know, because I grew up in Northern California and, you know, my mom was born in Eureka and my dad was born in Roseville, which is a suburb, you know, in Sacramento, you know, and I grew up like, you know, around like Redwood forest and, you know, and I didn't think that it was like any big deal. And those like incredible mountains, like there's so much about it that now when I just come back to visit, I'm like, wow, this is amazing. This is kind of extraordinary. Absolutely. The array of different ecosystems and of natural beauty and, you know, from desert to coast, it is an amazing place.

And then when you put on it, it's like, whatever, it's like the fourth largest economy in the world. You know, it's, it's a pretty, you know, and now, I mean, as this country changes now, because I used to always have kind of an ambivalent sort of relationship with this place, mainly just because LA represents, you know, there's bullshit everywhere, but here it's like enshrined, you know, there's like, you know, level it's next level. Yes. And, and that was always kind of off-putting to me, but now, you know, as the world's changed, I'm kind of like, I'm, I'm kind of proud to be a Californian. Like, you know, no, there's definitely, there's definitely good and bad, but I also was very leery about raising my kids

around extreme wealth. The area that we lived in when we were there, for a while, we lived in an area called Rustic Canyon, which is absolutely beautiful. It's by the beach and I didn't grow up by the beach. So I thought, well, if I have to be in California, I want to be, you know, my kids to like grow up in the surf and you know, all of that. And it was really beautiful, but like the crazy, crazy wealth that we were surrounded by, it just sort of like, it made me feel a little uncomfortable. And I just wanted, I just wanted them to kind of grow up in an area that just like seemed a little bit more normal to me and like, not, you know, not with that, like where your neighbor is just in like, you know, a huge,

huge mansion and, you know, where they, I just wanted them to grow up in an area that just seemed like a little bit more grounded. Away from $150,000 bar mitzvahs. Yeah. Yes. You know? Yeah. No, I, when I first, the first time I lived, well, not the, when I moved out here as a married person with a child from New York city, having lived in New York city for seven

or eight years at that point, uh, I was like, well, I might as well go to the beach. seven or eight years at that point, I was like, well, I might as well go to the beach. So I moved to the Palisades and I quickly realized like, I don't like these people. It was definitely a different feel. And all my friends lived in Hollywood or Los Feliz or somewhere else. So to go do things with anybody that was 45 minutes on, you know, getting there and back, it was like an hour and a half round trip. And I was like, okay, I got to move. Yeah. I got to move East. Where are you from originally? I'm from Illinois. I'm from outside of Chicago, a small town called Yorkville. So I'm, I have a very, you know, I have, I still Midwesternism is, it can be a wonderful thing, but it's also, it's like a different kind of brainwashing of like, you know, where, as I've put it, it's like where you're so humble that you're better than everybody else.

You know what I mean? Like your humility makes you a superhero. Like, you know, where it's like, I'm nothing and I'm so nothing, I'm better than everybody. Right, right. nothing and I'm so nothing I'm better than everybody right right but there is definitely like the fanciness the what the what's important the priorities here are kind of like like just the notion of being like in the the flow the flow of the show business part of it yeah it just is so distasteful to me like I don't want to go to industry parties and I don't want to just hang out with industry people.

I mean, I, you know, yeah, me too. I've always wanted to be, and this is something that New York definitely had going for it is I wanted to meet people who were like,

had all different careers, you know, and Hollywood does seem like it's very much like a, a, a one, you know, everybody wants to do this one thing and they're either doing it or they want to, artists and architects and writers and therapists, I don't know, hairdressers and animal trainers and scientists. And, you know, I, I really love to be around all different people. Um, and I wanted my kids to grow up that way too. So, and even New York city, you know, like if you meet a successful, powerful person in New York City, they might like be the king of window installation. Whereas in L.A., if you meet a successful, powerful person, odds are they're in show business in some way.

And it gets kind of dull in a way, you know. Yeah, and can be a little suffocating. Um, but, but I have to say, I do have good friends in LA because I did grow up there. So, you know, it's, but it's nice to go back and visit and then feel like I'm coming back to, yeah, yeah. To an area where I can kind of like exhale a little. Yeah. No. And I mean, I don't want to get the give the wrong impression either either i have i know some of the most wonderful lovely people on earth that live here and i mean and i have a very nice life here uh it's just you know show business is uh it can be exhausting it can just be like it can

be soul exhausting yeah um well we were talking a little bit right before because you and i i think it was the last time i saw you was at a school tour yes that's right it must have been about 18 years ago i think because the kid that i was looking for a school for was he's 22 now. Yeah. Yeah. So we went to that school, um, when my 20 year old was, uh, going into kindergarten, I think. Yeah. And we did that school, uh, for a couple of years. And then, um, and then I, and then we had two more and then suddenly it was like all about moving somewhere that had a good public school. Because, you know, it gets crazy. It's ridiculous.

You know, like, it's really insane. And, you know, we did the thing that everybody does where you start a college account when they're babies. But, like, the cost of private school is just like, it was a little overwhelming. Um, and I, and I also like, I grew up in a, in, you know, a public school. Um, and I believe in the public school system and, you know, I grew up in a pub. I mean, I used to, I grew up in Yorkville, Illinois. And when I would meet kids from like Chicago suburbs and they would be like, what high school do you go? What high school do you go to? And I'm like, um, Yorkville high school. Like, and I, you know, I just wasn't even like familiar with the concept that there were

multiple high schools in a town. And, and I, I, you know, I got a good education and I wanted my kids to go to public school, but public schools here, even we lived a couple blocks when my son went to kindergarten, we lived a couple blocks from supposedly the best public school in LA. And there was like one teacher for 32 or 33 kids and, you know, and, and no art and no music, all the art and music was, was parent volunteer parent stuff. music all the art and music was was parent volunteer parent stuff yeah so we you know my kids have both gone to private schools and which to me is like i've been paying for somebody to basically get a nice you know middle of the road liberal arts college education since 2005 every year you know and and you're right it's you know my finances would be much different if I hadn't poured all that money into my kids brains yeah you know yeah yeah it's a it's a little daunting uh for sure well you mentioned it earlier we'll get that you'll we'll get into the

uh the autobiographical stuff you're from northern california and your mom was a chef and your dad was a jazz pianist so there that's kind of show business you know well both of them but both of them you know i mean my mom my mom didn't become a chef until i left home she was a stay-at-home she was a stay-at-home mom um basically I left the nest when I was 18. And my dad was a jazz musician, but he was a jazz musician in a small kind of jazz community in Sacramento. He didn't tour. He was kind of like a big fish in a little pond. And he made a living playing jazz in Sacramento.

Um, yeah, but I mean, he, he made a living like basically doing, uh, everything. Like he, he was, uh, um, like he did piano bar at night and, you know, my dad was blind. So, um, he didn't read music. Um, but he was, yeah, he was a working musician. Um, and that's how he supported our family. Um, and then I started acting, uh, professionally when I was, my first professional job was at 10. I was in the first West Coast production of Annie, which is how I got started. And then, and then kind of went from that to television and then that to movies. And, and then once I did that, then our, you know, our family lived both from my dad's salary and through my salary, because there was no way not to you know if my right sometimes

my mom would come with me on film shoots and then sometimes my dad would um and if my dad was then you know he obviously couldn't you know work make money yeah yeah so yeah that's that was my upbringing um how did you start doing show business? How did you start acting? Well, all of it. Me, I have a brother and a sister, and, you know, we all did acting and, you know, dance and singing, you know, as like kind of like an extracurricular activity. And, you know, along with like swimming and, you know, whatever. Yeah, it was one of many kid activities.

Yeah, it was one of many activities. But I was the only one that was really drawn to music. And so I used to perform with my dad, you know, since I was like three years old. Like sing with them? Yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh. I was like the world's youngest jazz singer like that was my my kind of sticky stick um and but it was really something i loved to do it was like my my dad passed away a couple years ago but like we were really uh had a great

relationship and we're really close and um so i kind of got to the acting thing through the music, I would say, like when I was really little, I thought that that was kind of where my focus was going to be in music. And then when I got older and I did my first movie when I was 13 years old, then I kind of switched to the acting and filmmaking. And that's like kind of all I wanted to do. But yeah, the music thing was basically, you know, at that time, anybody who could sing or dance wanted to be an Annie. That was kind of like the thing. And so, and I, like every other kid at the time, I was listening to the, you know, the album nonstop. at the time I was listening to the, you know, the album nonstop. And so when it was casting on the West coast, somebody mentioned to my dad, like, Oh, you know, she should really try out for this.

And I did and I got it. And so our, our family ended up moving from Sacramento to Los Angeles. And then at the time, both me and my sister and brother were acting. And then eventually I was the only one who continued. Is it weird to have your family uproot itself for the employment of a child? Like, can you imagine doing that? You know? No, but I mean, I was told at the time that it was, it was like, it wasn't just me. It was my dad as well. Like it was opportunities for, you know, his work and what he did.

Yeah. I think probably it was, it was mostly me, but I remember, I mean, I was, I was pretty young, so I wasn't really, you know, I, I remember there were some talk about moving to, we were either going to move to Los Angeles or to Florida. Um, and I think it was because my dad had some kind of a job opportunity in Florida. Um, but we ended up moving to LA, which was, you know, much closer to Sacramento. But yeah, I mean, there, I, it wasn't like somebody asked me necessarily, it was just kind of like it was happening, but, but it was something I think I was excited about because it meant that I was going to do this play that I really wanted to do. And, you know, but yeah, it was, it was kind of a decision that was made that I wasn't

really necessarily privy to. Yeah. Was it good? I mean, was it good for your dad too, or did he end up working more and, and, and in a more sort of satisfying way? Um, I don't know. I mean, as soon as I left home, my parents moved back up North. So don't think i think they really hated la like really hated it ended up hating i mean again they had friends there and my dad did have a band and he also you know had a radio show and like he did stuff but i don't think that they ever felt like it was their home but you know i also really didn't feel like it was my home either I don't think any of us did really but it was definitely I think better for my career yeah um to live in in Los Angeles does that give you the ability to kind of live anywhere you know when you when at a certain at such a young age your residence becomes a place that you know you you don't really feel a part of, so therefore you're free from an

attachment to a geography? I mean, I felt like, well, once I, you know, had the career, I felt like I had to live there, you know, and I got a house and, you know, had like a certain lifestyle and, you know, but I also really felt like I didn't really want to be there. I didn't really feel like a connection to it other than, other than like a career connection. And I felt like a little trapped and like, I think definitely suffocated and, and, and it wasn't like really artistically satisfying to me. But I also felt like, you know, I wanted to, I wanted to know more of the world than, than just that, you know,

that Hollywood bubble. Yeah. And it really is a bubble. I mean, yeah. I mean, I guess everywhere is a bubble of sorts, you know, I'm like living in a different bubble now, but I prefer this bubble. Yeah, yeah. You know, but after I was in L.A., I think, you know, my early 20s, I moved to Paris just because I wanted to like live somewhere outside of, you know, Hollywood and someplace that, you know, when you live in Hollywood, you definitely get this feeling like, oh, my God, this is the most important place on Earth. This is where everything's happening, you know. And then you go somewhere else and you're like, oh, actually, this is the center of the world. Yeah, yeah.

You know, this is where everything's happening because you're moving into like a different bubble. And it was just really interesting to me to be able to sort of basically live somewhere where at the time I wasn't really famous. I mean, now the films that I did, the John Hughes films have kind of like reached have reached cult status everywhere. But at the time, like, you know, I wasn't really immediately recognizable. And that was really important for me to have like some part. I did it in my 20s rather than my teens um but i at least i did it i went somewhere where i wasn't famous um yeah and that was really really great when you started really working and you started to become famous i mean what was that

like when was there an age at which you started to feel like, I mean, not that you would feel it in this way, but like where you're like aware of being famous all of a sudden. And what was that like as a, you know, a kid, as a teen? Because, I mean, being a teen is like being a vapor. Like you're not, you're not, you know, you're not gelled yet. You know, who you are is, is still very much in flux. And I can only imagine the pressure of, you know, being recognized, you know, cause I've, I, you know, I've had to explain when I first got on television, I once had to explain to my mother when we were in a store and she said, everyone's looking at you. And I said, mom, think about that. Everyone was looking at me. Yeah, I know how, but I know why I understand the reason, but it still feels like what, you know, like my, my, you know, sort of like spiritual fly is open constantly, you know? Yeah. Yeah. No, it was definitely, it was definitely different and strange. It kind of started out a little bit gradually for me because, you know, I feel like Annie was like one little taste of notoriety and fame. But I wasn't really, I couldn't really be recognized from that unless I was like with the Annie orphans with my like satin Annie jacket on,

you know, and like, where are the Annie orphans? Yeah. Here comes that orphan gang. Yeah. Um, so that was like a little taste of it. And then, and then I immediately got on these, um, Norman Lear shows, uh, you know, different strokes and then, um, and then facts of life, which I did for a year. And that was like another level because that was television. I was still in like fifth or sixth grade when I did that. I kind of went right from Annie into Facts of Life. And mostly it was just really hard at school because I was still going to public school at the time. And if you do anything that's like a little out of the norm, it's just basically, you know, fodder for bullies, you know, it's like you, it was really hard. And I really did

have like a lot of bullies in sixth grade. And then seventh grade was a little better when I wasn't doing, I kind of went for a pretty long period of time before I did my first movie. I was just kind of like auditioning for stuff. And then the John Hughes movies like exploded. And then I was kind of like, I went from being sort of like a normal kid again, to being like the most popular teenager in the world. Yeah. yeah. And yeah. And sort of like, and sort of like an icon, like the icon of teenageism, you know, of teenager-ness, you know.

Yeah, and then that was weird. And then, and then like once that happened, I think, you know, when I look back on it, I think I just kind of like went into this sort of like, you know, I sort of like disassociated a little bit, you know, it was kind of, and sort of like became just hyper aware of, of, of being watched and looked at. And, and it was not comfortable for me. It was, it was definitely like not expected. It wasn't

something that I was, I mean, I was working towards something, you know, I knew that this was what I wanted to do with my life, but I kind of, I didn't realize that it was going to happen like so suddenly I thought I was just going to be sort of like gradually doing this thing. And this, I just thought it was going to be a more gradual thing. And it wasn't, it was like, this thing and this, I just thought it was going to be a more gradual thing. And it wasn't, it was like, it was really full on. What age is it? Is this, is when this, you know, when the faucet is turned all the way on? I would say, well, I was 15 years old when I did 16 candles. And then I was 16 years old when I did Breakfast Club. And then, and then I was 18 years old when I did Pretty in Pink. And so I would say it was really probably after the release of The Breakfast Club,

which was like a huge hit. And then Pretty in Pink, which was even like a bigger hit. So it was kind of like, I guess it would have been like around age 17. And then I was on the cover of Time when I was like 18. 17 and then I was on the cover of time when I was uh like 18 and so that was kind of when everything you know was really like sort of exploded and um yeah and everything kind of like gets like a little a little foggy and then all of my bullies wanted to be my best friend of course because I suddenly was like you know really popular right teenager yeah it's like it's like, you know, really popular teenager. Yeah.

It's like, it's like, uh, you know, just having been through, having been through the Christmas season with an, cause I have a 22 year old and 18 year old and now a three and a half year old. And, and so I'm kind of, to me, I'm looking at it like pre-grandparent, like I'm, you know, I'm reliving all these like little kid things but like you know having heard rudolph the red-nosed reindeer just recently 8 000 times i'm like what a shitty story like you know like it's only only when you're useful from the from the big man are you now popular and it's oh yeah rudolph was totally bullied yeah yeah yeah what did your parents

how what was their feeling about this time when you start to feel so over scrutinized is there anything that they could do or were doing to sort of help you through it um I think that they were, you know, both excited, you know, but I think, you know, they were worried. They were, you know, my parents were pretty protective. I mean, I did have parents that like, you know, definitely cared about me and like, they definitely like didn't see me as a meal ticket that that was you know not what they were about yeah i think you know i can't really say if they necessarily expected it like when my when my mom when i talk to my mom now she says like if she had to do it over again she wouldn't have let me act as a as a child wow because I feel like they saw how psychologically

um difficult it was for me and and also like they didn't really know about show business like they were you know what what my dad did in you know as a musician it was really very small town it wasn't like you know Hollywood is like a business. Yeah. And, um, and I think that they were, yeah, they didn't really know about it. And, you know, so like, I kind of had to face that with my kids. My, my elder daughter is an actress now, um, but she's 20, but I wouldn't let her be a, a child actress. And it was, it was a real bone of contention between us. Um, because she said, you know, well, why, why you got to do it? And I'm like, well, yeah, but that's why my mom says if I had it, she had to do it over again.

She would have waited. And, you know, yeah, it was definitely difficult, but I mean, I don't want to like, I don't want to do like a whole boohoo poor me. No, I understand. As a, I was also really fortunate and i had you know i had a lot of great opportunities i just think that it's something that's it's it's a really big decision and i don't know if kids really should be making those kinds of decisions yeah and i well and i understand you you don't want to seem self-pitying, but on the other hand, oh, it was all fantastic and a is craving, you know, like is really almost like needs for proper development.

It's got to be, you know. And the problem is, is I feel like no kid is really getting that now because of the internet um yeah you know i i didn't have to deal with you know tiktoks and like social media and all of that stuff and it was difficult it was difficult with the paparazzi it was difficult with you know magazines because you know hollywood is all about like building people up and tearing them down and you know yeah, um, and I, and I did deal with that and that was really hard. But now when I think about kids are sort of giving their anonymity away when they're really, really young.

Yeah. And with, with no interlocutor either, it's just like them, a computer screen. And then all of a sudden, you know, for one weird reason or another, there's 12 million people knowing who they are. Yeah. What do you think was the most difficult aspect of it when you were a kid? Was it like, is it hard to trust people? Is it that you become, you know, claustrophobic or not claustrophobic, but the opposite, you know, like, you know, where you're agoraphobic. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I feel like the hardest thing for me was, yeah, not feeling like I, it felt very lonely because my experience was very different from other kids that were my age. You know, I felt like I was living this adult life in this, like, nice, fancy house, you know, that was an investment because that's what you did when you made money. You got a house, you know. Yeah, yeah. they were, you know, living with roommates or, you know, going to college or, you know, like, I just felt like I kind of had one foot in this world and another foot in another world, and I didn't quite belong anywhere. And it was, and it was also hard. Like I never wanted, you know, my parents were the ones that made decisions about my career when I was a

teenager. And then as soon as I turned 18, I was like, no, I want to do everything myself because I really wanted to have parents that were just parents that were not connected to my career. And, and I think for me, that was the right thing to do. Yeah, I absolutely like that. The prescience of that is amazing, really, you know, like get your parents out of your business as soon as possible and just let them be your parents. Yeah. And I think that that was that was the right thing. And but I think it was hard for them, you know, to suddenly, you know, have me, you know, that was, it was hard. Yeah. You know, and I think, but, but, but it was ultimately good. I mean, I, I have a good

relationship with my parents and, you know, and I'm glad that I had that experience. I did try to normalize things as much as I, as I could, but, know, it's, it's hard to grow from the public eye, you know, it's like, it's, it's when, and like I said, I can't imagine doing it now. Like if, if the internet existed when I was becoming famous, I don't know if I would have decided to continue with it. Yeah. Cause I, to have that sort of level of fame in the internet age, like I just, it's, it's not for me. As,

as a, an actor myself, I wonder about like how your technique develops through this being so young. I mean, are you going to acting classes at this time or are you, is it really kind of on the job training where you're just kind of learning to do it as you do it i think it's both i i did do some classes at a place that was called the young actor space that was just kind of starting um diane harden who was the wife of jerry harden who i worked with and the mother of melora Hardin from The Office, she was just starting an actor studio that was

specifically geared towards young actors, hence the young actor space. And so I was in like that original class when I was like 13, 14 years old after I did my first movie. And I really enjoyed it. It was a great experience to be around, you know, actors who were, you know, my age or, you know, around my age. And, and it was teaching some variation of the method. You know, I learned how to improvise, I learned how to do scene work. But that was the only acting class that I took. After that, everything was pretty much on the job training. And I worked with a lot of great people.

I mean, I worked, my first movie was, you know, Paul Mazursky movie and working with Jenna Rollins and John Cassavetes and Raul Julia. And like over the years, I was lucky enough to like work with some really great people. So I did kind of learn on the job, I was lucky enough to like work with some really great people. So I did kind of learn on the, on the job, I'd say. You know, it can be such a, again, such a vulnerable thing because, you know, you're, it's just you, it's just you and your face and your words and your emotions.

And I mean, as you're doing it, where are you drawing the source of, of sort of strength and self-position to be able to go ahead and, you know, because when they say you're going to be number one on the call sheet, you're going to be the star of this movie. You know, that's a lot of pressure for a 30 year old, you know, I mean, where are you finding that kind of, or are you just not thinking about it? Are you just kind of rolling with it? I wasn't really thinking that much about number one on the call sheet. I just say that because that's my thing.

That's I know that I feel like that's kind of like become like a big thing. Like when people talk about like, oh, number one in the call sheet, like that's, you know, I, I, you know, I did like for me, I remember there was like, you know, do you have your name above title or not? That was a big thing, you know, like, do you, yeah, it was, it was something, but I don't know. I, I was, I was really kind of, at the time I was excited about the work that I was doing. And I, and I did feel like, especially when I was working with John, um, Hughes, like I, I loved what I was doing and I loved working with him. Um, even though he wasn't the easiest guy in the whole world. Um, but I did feel like I was, I was excited by the work. And so it was, it felt kind of effortless in a way. Yeah. The work was great. It was, it was everything other than the work that I, that I had trouble with, you know, PR and the,

and the stories and the, the sort of following somebody else's narrative, you know, like that, that is the one thing that I do like about having social media now is that you can, I can speak for myself now. And, and yeah, journalists are still going to have their narrative, but I can, I can, I can kind of write my own narrative, which is also something that's been interesting to me about writing, you know, writing books. writing um you know writing books uh there it is really hard to follow somebody else's narrative when you're a young well at any age but especially as you're figuring out who you are yeah when you when you move to paris at what age is this that when you move um i moved to paris when i was 24. 24? Yeah. And are you thinking like I'm leaving Hollywood behind kind of or is this just sort of like I'm going to try this for a while? No, I went there on a film and then, no,

I wasn't thinking at all that I was leaving Hollywood behind. I went there on a movie and I, I had enrolled it in, um, uh, USC. I, I, uh, I did my, you know, SATs late, you know, and, and I, but I was like, oh, well, I guess I should go to college. You know, I guess, I guess that's something I should do because I wasn't really getting any, um, you know, film scripts that I really liked. You know, I turned down a couple that maybe I shouldn't have turned down, but I just wasn't really drawn to anything. And I also felt like everybody really want, like once you do something, you know this,

like once you do something in Hollywood and you're successful at that, that's just what everyone wants you to do. And they think that you can't do anything else. And then if you're lucky enough to squeak by and do something else that's successful, then that's what they want you to do. It's like, and I felt like I didn't want to do any more teen movies at the time. I probably looking back on it, I probably should have done a couple more just because, you know, cause I was really young. But I didn't relate to that teen world because my world had completely changed. And I was really very much like living in this adult world.

And so I, for whatever reason, I just, nothing really spoke to me. So I decided to go to Paris on this film. And then I would come back and go to college. And I figured I would just do that. And then I ended up just falling in love with Paris and kind of more than anything, falling in love with this feeling that I had. And so I decided to chase that. And then, and then I just stayed in Paris. How long were you there? I mean, on and off, I'm actually writing a memoir right now about my time in Paris. Um, it's, it was, it was like all said and done. It was about 10 years. you there i mean on and on i'm actually writing a memoir right now about my time in paris um

it's it was it was like all said and done it was about 10 years oh wow about five where it was my my sole residence but i mean i would continue to come back and it wasn't like i i didn't retire or anything i kept doing stuff but but but definitely my my career was put on the back burner um and pushing you weren't pushing as like you know get me parts get me this yeah yeah stuff, but, but, but definitely my, my career was put on the back burner. Um, and pushing, you weren't pushing as like, you know, get me parts, get me this. Yeah. Yeah. No, unless like I needed like new drapes and then I would go, you know, I need new drapes.

So I'll go, you know, but yeah, I, I really focused on, on kind of doing France for a while and really becoming bilingual and kind of traveling and doing and writing. Also, I really started to write. Did you enjoy some more anonymity there? Was that part of what you liked? Definitely. I mean, at that point, I mean, were John Hughes movies big? And, you know, when you move there, was like no no they weren't they they have now you know attained a kind of cult status um but at the time i if i was recognized it was usually by a tourist um i was not i was not recognized by you know the. Um, I also dyed my hair dark

Brown too. So for a while I was, I was kind of just tooling around with dark Brown hair and pretending like I was French and, um, and it was really fun. It was really great. Um, I did not, I didn't realize that I could have, um, you know, told USC that, you know, I could have deferred it and gone, you know, but instead I just kind of like decided not to do that and decided to just kind of, you know, go to French class and read a lot and kind of self-educate myself. Can't you tell my loves are grown? Do you have any regrets about not going to college um i mean i try not to have regrets in my life because i don't really feel like they they serve me um you know unless you can like go back and do you know i i don't know. I, part of me, okay, here's what I really regret. No,

I don't regret going to USC because I don't think that I really wanted to do that. I think I was just doing that because I felt like I should. The one thing I regret is I met Toni Morrison, who was one of my favorite writers. And I went to this Time Magazine party, like in the late 90s, I was visiting New York and it was a party for everyone who at that time it was before they did like the hundred thing that they're doing now it was just it was a party for i think it was like in 99 or something for every everyone who had ever been on the cover of time was invited to go except for three people we'll get back to that um but tony morrison was there and and i was such a huge fan of hers.

And she was also born on my birthday or I was born on her birthday. And I talked to her and she invited me. She was teaching at Princeton at the time. And she invited me to audit her class. She's like, come on. Because I told her that I was going to go to USC and then I didn't end up going. She said, come audit my class at Princeton. And I didn't go know because I told her that I was going to go to USC and then I didn't end up going she said come on at my class at Princeton and I didn't go and I do regret that oh wow yeah that would have been amazing but I think I was like flying back to Paris or something

like that but I do I do have regrets that I didn't follow up on that and that's a pretty I mean that's a good regret yeah that's a pretty high class mean, that's a good regret. Yeah. That's a pretty high class regret. That's a grade A regret. Yeah. Well, when you, when you're done with Paris, uh, do you come back to LA? Do you come back to New York? And, and what motivates that change? Is it just time, you know, do you just kind of feel like, are there times when it's time for you to change the scenery and move somewhere else?

Yeah, I think so i think um you know i i was involved with somebody there and uh and and having kind of like a hard time leaving that relationship yeah so at a at a certain point i decided to get an apartment in new york and kind of commute and go back and forth between New York and LA. I mean, not LA, New York and Paris. So I think that was kind of like a first step and like a years long process to break up. But I think I stayed in France and I stayed in that relationship longer than I should have because I loved France so much. I loved Paris. I loved that feeling of being there. So I kind of drew out this long relationship. And yeah, and I think every time I've moved somewhere, it's because something in my gut is just telling me that this is the thing to do that this is what I need to do um and I and I realized that I still wanted to act like I really still wanted to and it was something that I really had

to ask myself again as an adult because I had started when I was so young I had to sort of like say okay is this something that you still want to do? And I guess it was. But I knew that I wanted to do other stuff too. I knew that I wanted to write and I know that I want to direct. But I knew that I couldn't do that in the way that I wanted to in France, that I had to do it in the US. So yeah, that's kind of when I moved back from Paris, I moved to New York. And you started doing Broadway stuff then at that point, right?

Yeah. Yeah. I started doing Broadway. I did, you know, I came back to singing for a while and, and I did cabaret and I did tick, tick, boom. And I did enchanted April. And then, and then I met the person who I married, the husband of my three kids, when I was... He's the father of your three kids, by the way. What did I say? The husband of your three kids. Oh, the husband. Oh, that's interesting. Interesting. Yes. Yes. The father. Yes. Right. The father of my three children. And yeah, we met when I was sort of starting my 30s.

And we had our first child in New York, actually, when I was finishing up Cabaret. And then we moved to LA and he ended up going to business school and I ended up doing a series in LA. And then we had two more kids and then moved back here. Was motherhood something you always knew was in store for you? Always. Yeah. It was something that I wanted to be. Like, there was just no question that I was going to be a mother.

I was one of those, like I played with dolls. I, I, I just like since kindergarten, I can remember like wanting to be a mother, which was very different than my husband. Like he, he did not, he's an incredible father, but it wasn't something that he, like, he didn't have that constant drumbeat telling him that he had to reproduce. But I did. I mean, I was like, and it became like absolutely deafening. Like right around the time when I met my husband,

it was like, must have children, must have. And it was, it was like, yeah, it was almost like a bone of content, not a bone of contention,

but it was like, it was a, it was a little bit of a struggle because i mean he's overcome his yeah yeah he's younger than me too um he's seven years younger than me so like we were kind of meeting in like different parts of our life you know different moments in our life and and you know he ended up having kids a lot younger than he thought he was going to. Well, you had, you had three. So, you know, he obviously, once he, once he got his, once he got a taste, he knew it was for him. Yeah. Yeah. But there were also like, we, we had kids six years apart and I think our plan was always

just to have like, you know, two, but it ended up being three because yeah we have 14 year old twins yeah but yeah it's it's uh i love i love being a parent um yeah but i think that he he's he's a little bit i would say he's a little bit more nurturing than i am oh really like i feel like he excels in a way that he, neither one of us knew. I mean, I knew that he was going to be a good father, which is kind of like, I feel like instinctively I was like, yeah, you, you're going to be a good father. Right, right, right. I don't think he knew he was going to be a great father. And I don't think that I ever imagined that I was going to be anything but

like an excellent mother. And I find that it comes much more naturally to him than to me, which is funny. I don't mean, I certainly don't think I'm a bad parent, but I think that he is, he is an excellent parent. I was going to ask, cause it's just something that I asked my, like, what do you think is the best part of your mothering, and what is the part of your mothering that you feel like you fall short on? I think the best part of my mothering is that I love them, and that I care, and that I'm honest. Like, really honest.

Not honest in a cruel way, but like they always know that I won't that I won't bullshit them and I'll tell them the truth. And that if I say something to them, if I give them a compliment, let's say, which I do try to do. But if I if I like it's it's for real and I really mean it. Yeah. I think that he is better at, he's just like more nurturing and oh, he's also better at doing things that he doesn't necessarily want to do because they want to do it. Yeah. You know, I don't know. We have different styles of parenting. Um, but he's, he's definitely more like, you know, he'll just do everything. He'll make three different meals for three different kids. Oh, wow. And I'm like, you should be lucky that you have any food at all i'm i'm much tougher but like i feel like

a lot of that just has to do with you know the way that i was raised like the way that we were raised was different he's first generation american with two greek parents and the greeks are like super nurturing yeah loving and physically affectionate. Especially with boys, little boys in Greek families. Oh, yeah. I have a lot of Greek friends and knew a lot of Greek, had a lot of Greek friends and was familiar with their family dynamic. And yeah, little Greek boys are princes. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we definitely, I think that we it's I just think it's so interesting when you have when you when you kind of like know something about yourself, like I knew forever that I wanted to be a mother and I and I feel like these kids would not exist if it weren't for that thing in my mind that was like, must have these chills. Like I was just so driven. I never really realized that. I don't know. I really had to like, kind of realize that there wasn't something that I necessarily excelled at.

Like it was just, I've sort of like blown away by how great Ponteo, my husband is as a father. And just kind of like learn that I'm still learning as a mother. I mean, I'm kind of like making myself out to be a terrible mother. And I definitely don't think that I am. I don't think you are. I don't think you are.

I don't think you are at all. No. I think, you know, you're being honest. Like you said, the strength that you have with your kids is being honest. And you're being honest here, you know, you're being honest. Like you said, the strength that you have with your kids is being honest and you're being honest here, you know? Yeah. And I also try to let them know that they can talk to me about anything. And I feel like that's another strength that I have as a mom is that I feel like my kids really do think that they can talk to me about anything and they do. Yeah.

And I think that they know that I'm going to love them no matter what. And I think that is a strength. Well, thank you for answering that because I know, you know, it's kind of a little invasive question. So we've been talking here a while now. I want to get to, you got to get to the plugs, you know, because otherwise the publicists will be mad. Oh. You are co-starring in Feud, Capote versus the Swans. Yeah.

This cast, Naomi Watts, Diane Lane, Chloe Sevigny, Calista Flockhart, and Demi Moore on FX January 1st. And it'll stream on Hulu as well what is what is capote versus the swans well it's it's ryan murphy's the the second season of feud um oh right uh which is like a famous feud and this one is the feud of truman capote versus all of these you know they're saying the original housewives um oh there were these high society yeah the muses and he called them the the swan and the swans and then kind of um uh just fucked them over by by writing this book uh yeah you know the coat basque um yeah it was actually a story um and then it was supposed to be a book called answer prayersers, which never materialized.

But I don't, I mean, they're on the poster. I'm the swan. But in real life, I play Joanne Carson, who was the ex-wife of Johnny Carson and was basically the last person that was there for him. Like he died in her arms or in the show, he dies in her arms. He might have, well, he definitely died in her arms or in in the show he dies in her arms he might have he might have well he definitely died in her house but i'm kind of like the the last one standing i was the only one that was kind of like there for him at the end yeah who's playing an incredible uh cast tom hollander who is oh just extraordinary as um as uh truman and joe mantello is also in it and jessica lang plays truman's mom yeah um so yeah it is a pretty extraordinary cast how is how is it on a ryan murphy set because his some of his

things are just so almost you know on bizarre i mean it's his his stuff is as bizarre as big time TV gets sometimes. Oh, yeah. Well, it was like, I mean, amazing. One of the most amazing things about working with Ryan is the cast. I mean, you know, I did Dahmer for him. And the person that I had all my scenes with was Richard Jenkins because we were playing husband and wife. I played Dahmer's stepmother. But like Richard Jenkins because we were playing husband and wife I played Dahmer's stepmother but like Richard Jenkins incredible actor all my scenes in this one are with Tom Hollander another amazing actor so I think that's one of the most exciting things about working with

Ryan it's just the level of of his casting and Gus Van Zandt is directing and, and also just the fact that, that, like, that he's doing these parts for, you know, women. Like, I am now like a woman of a certain age. And yeah, and I'm incredibly grateful to Ryan that he, that he makes these projects. Like, he just, he loves really strong women. Yeah. Oh, yeah, absolutely. uh, really strong women. Yeah. Oh yeah, absolutely. I mean, well, the first feud, you know, the, the first feud being about Betty Davis and Joan Crawford, that was,

yeah, that was a lot of fun. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what do you think, you know, what, what do you, what do you feel like is kind of, you know, if somebody asks you for advice, what do you tell them? You know, kind of, you know, if they're like, you know, what should I do with myself? What should I do with my time? What would be your answer to that question? I think do something that you love. Yeah. You know, realistically, yes, people have to make money too. But, uh, but I feel like if you can,

I mean, the best is obviously if you can make money from doing something that you love, uh, that's like you hit the jackpot. Yeah. Yeah. But, but otherwise, like, don't say that you're going to do that thing that you love another time, like try to squeeze in time to do something that's incredibly important that nourishes your soul. Um, and because I think that anytime anybody decides not to do that and just do something because they think that their parents want them to do it or somebody else, like anytime you're doing something just for someone else i think it's just like a recipe for disaster yeah and you should do things that that nourish your soul and and do something whether it's you know creating art or whether it's you know making the

world a better place or like doing something for you know non, nonprofit or, you know, do something that, that feeds your soul. Well, that's good advice. I agree. I mean, I wouldn't tell you if I didn't, because it's so close to the end. I don't want to start a fight now. Well, Feud, Capote versus the Swans is premiering January 31st. You also have some really wonderful, you are a wonderful writer. I just want to, you know, I try to avoid the whole just blowing smoke up people in this podcast, but you truly are a wonderful writer and you have two books, Getting the Pretty Bag, Friendship, Family, and Finding the Perfect Lipstick, which is, it's been out a while now. Yeah, that's been out a

while. And When It Happens to You, a novel in stories, which is fiction. Yeah, When It Happens to You is a novel that I wrote, novel in stories. And also I have two translations that I did, one called Lie With Me by Philippe Besson and another one, My Cousin Maria Schneider, written by Vanessa Schneider. And both of those are out right now. And you're working on a new one, I hear. I mean, that's what you mentioned it. And I'm working on a memoir about my time in Paris called The Paris Years.

And that should be out. Yeah, I'm still writing it. So it'll be out in a while. Great. Well, thank you so much, Molly. And, you know, and I hope our paths cross soon. Same. And it's been great talking to you.

And I appreciate all of you out there listening. And I'll be back next week with more of The Three Questions. is a Team Coco production. It is produced by Sean Daugherty and engineered by Rich Garcia. Additional engineering support by Eduardo Perez and Joanna Samuel. Executive produced by Nick Liao, Adam Sachs, and Jeff Ross. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, with assistance from Maddy Ogden.

Research by Alyssa Graal. Don't forget to rate and review and subscribe to The Three Questions with Andy Richter wherever you get your podcasts. And do you have a favorite question you always like to ask people? Let us know in the review section. Can't you tell my love's a-growing?

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