The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Patricia Lockwood

Episode Date: April 13, 2021

Poet and author Patricia Lockwood calls Andy to share stories from her childhood on the road and in rectories, how she got COVID-19 at Harvard, and why she took magic mushrooms in preparation for this podcast. The two discuss her new book, No One Is Talking About This, and why it’s written with the neurodivergent in mind. Plus, an appearance by the celebrity cat Miette and a story about a gruff parrot.

we are podcasting now uh and i am podcasting with one of my oldest twitter pals which is a thing that i say in my life and frequently frequently I will meet one of my Twitter pals or when we used to do Conan shows and one of my Twitter pals would come to town and see it. I would have to say, I need a ticket for one of my Twitter pals. Yeah, a ticket and like a long stemmed red rose, right? That's right.

That's right. Yes. And a horse-drawn carriage to pick them up at the airport. Yes. But I'm talking to the very funny and incredibly talented writer, Patricia Lockwood. Hello. Hello. Thank you for having me. How long have you been doing this podcast? I think this is the end. Well, they call it a season, but I don't know what that means. You know, because it's a season. i don't know what that means you know because the season

it's like a season of podcasting yes yes but i guess this is kind of the end of the second year of them wow um yeah i try not to know anything about podcasts i hate podcasts as a genre and as a pastime good to know going into this uh, no, I did this to challenge myself. I like to challenge myself in different ways over this, my pandemic year. So I considered this a challenge, but I've never listened to one after I've done it. I've never listened to anyone else's podcast. So how do you feel about that? Well, you know, I honestly, I don't give a shit about anybody I talk to virtually or in real life. So, I mean, you're barking up the wrong tree if you expect me to care. Yeah.

Yeah. I never got the rose, I guess. I never came out to LA to attend one of the Conan tapings. Your loss because they're gone. You did blurb my book, though, and you did call me your friend in the blurb, which was so touching and heartfelt. And I was like, God, the blurbs that you get from comedians are so different than the blurbs you get from actual writers. First of all, they're on time. They're like slickity split.

Absolutely. They read the books and then they say really touching things to you like this person is my friend. Whether or not you feel that way, they will say it. Yeah. And I also talked to a writer about you because it was sort of like in your early days. Listen, I know my son was still on the tennis team, so that was a number of years ago. Jesse Lichtenstein. You talked to him for the New York Times Magazine profile, I think.

Exactly, yeah. And you were like a new up-and-comer. And I don't even know, I think your first book of poetry was coming out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you were a Twitter phenom. And as one of your more followed mutuals. Mutes, yeah. Yeah, they wanted me to talk to you or talk about you.

So I did. And I said, I think nice things. Yeah, they were very nice. They were completely unwarranted, actually. It was very, very kind. I mean, I say you're my friend, but I don't know you that well, so. I mean, yeah. Like, you're not, the coal is not burning in your heart for me.

No, it was very sweet. But like a writer, oh my God, they take weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and months and months and months. And then they use all the words like the urgent and the necessary and like liminal sometimes, or like palimpsest they use at times. They get the big words in there, but they don't ever say that they're your friend. That's like, that's not even allowed. It's like illegal for a writer to say that they're blurbing your book because they're your friend. You can't do that. Well, that's silly. But what you say about podcasts, I actually am kind of on the same page with you in that I had been on a lot of podcasts, was not a big podcast consumer.

For ages and ages, people, you know, team Richter, as I like to call them, would say, you should do a podcast. You should do a podcast. And I was like, well, what would I do? I would feel like such a dilettante because I don't really listen to them that much. And also, I have a lot of friends who are very much like at the forefront of podcasting in the very beginning. And are really good at it. And I don't know if that's true about you yet. No. Well, no, i'm actually one of the best we'll find out pretty much about anything um but i will and because friends of mine that were that were doing podcasts when people go like what's a podcast i felt like such a

johnny come lately asshole that i but then i finally was like all all right, I will do one. And then four days later, Conan O'Brien says, I'm doing a podcast. I was like, motherfucker. What a queen. What a diva. He didn't do it in, you know, like, I don't think he was doing it purely to undercut me, but it sure does. I think he was. It does dovetail nicely with some of my grudges.

It's very convenient. Yeah, it sure is. So now where are you right now? Are you, do you still live in Ohio? It does dovetail nicely with some of my grudges. It's very convenient, isn't it? It sure is. So now, where are you right now? Do you still live in Ohio? No, I'm in Savannah, Georgia. Oh, that's right. That's right.

Yeah. Yes, in a very beautiful place. And the natural light is pouring in and illuminating one side of my face for you, not the other darker side. But yeah, it's very, very gorgeous here. And we're getting on towards summer. Yeah. Have you been there through the full pandemic? We have. And it's very nice to be here at this moment in time because we are downtown and you

can just walk outside for anything basically. And being outside is pretty much safe. So we felt comfortable going to the park and I go outside and I sit on benches and I like work in a really crazy way. Like I think I'm known as a local eccentric, like, because I'll sit on the bench for like hours and hours and I don't move. Do you write on a pad or do you write on a computer? Yeah. So I have a big pretentious notebook, like a huge one. It's like this, like as big as my torso. And I write in that and I wear like these special hacker gloves. And I sometimes though, I don't even pick up the notebook and I don't even read a book. And I just stare like in that Robert Frost way where people are like, he's the laziest man in America.

And then the punchline is actually that he's a famous poet, which to me is the same. So it's not like a gotcha at all. It's not like, oh, oh, he's so lazy. No, he's Robert Frost. No, he's so lazy. And he he's Robert Frost. No, he's so lazy and he is Robert Frost. So it's like that. Yeah, I just sit outside and I do the whole thing there. And sometimes I'll like smile to myself beatifically, like ecstatically because I'm having an idea.

So I think I probably have a reputation. Do you then point at yourself like, get a load of me? Look at me. I'm having an idea. No, no. I like to keep it very pure. So it's just like a feeling that I'm feeling and I don't even consider what other people might think

as they pass by. Yes. Yeah. It's a crazy person. What are the crazy person gloves for? Oh, nerve compression, Andy. Oh my gosh. It's really sad.

What is it? Oh, it was after COVID. It was after COVID. I got neuropathy in my hands. And then I got these hacker gloves. I know. We can talk more about that later because it actually touches on the answers to your questions that are the occasion for this noble podcast. What?

Did you have COVID? Is that what you mean? You got neuropathy? Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. I had it last March. I feel like I was one of the early, you know, pioneering COVID aviders. Early adopters. A very early adopter of COVID. I got it after giving a fucking lecture

at Harvard, which I did in order to feel like Rory Gilmore. So it was a very base motivation that I had. And I was like, I'm going to go to Harvard and I'm going to feel like Rory Gilmore. And I'm going to give this lecture about the internet, which is very relevant to our times and today. And I got up there and I did it. And on the plane home, there's this coughing guy. And he had probably been at the Biogen conference, which was going on at the same time and seeing all of those cases. So, yeah, I got it and I became like completely psychotic, totally insane. So yeah, I got it and I became like completely psychotic, totally insane.

And I wrote a piece about it for the London Review of Books, which as we were discussing is why I have this nice Yeti microphone. I literally wrote, I was like, oh, I became crazy from coronavirus. This is how it worked. Yeah. And they sent me the microphone so I could read that out loud so people could hear how the crazy COVID lady sounded. How long were you sick? So I was sick like- I mean, not counting the Neurap sounded. Yeah. How long were you sick? So I was sick, like,

I mean, not counting the neuropathy. Right, right. So it was like two, three weeks of the actual, like ongoing illness. Wow. Yeah. But a lot of my early, a lot of my early symptoms were neurological. Like my first symptom was really, really badly wanting to watch the old Swedish Pippi Longstocking movies from my childhood. And I was like, I have to watch these. Everyone who's in my life has to watch these movies with me and know how important they were to me when I was a child. And I was really, really connecting with these movies on a very deep level. And then it was like, ha, ha, ha. But first, it was the Pippi Longstocking thing. So that was my first symptom. I like how you say that's neurological. the pippi longstocking thing so that was her symptom i like how you say that's neurological like that to me is because that's the definition of neurological andy like it wasn't that it was

nostalgic it was that you needed to see red pigtails yeah and those pancakes and she's lifting a horse above her head yeah yeah yeah it's all sort of tied into rory gilmore as well they watch it in the program so it was like all tied together for me. But I did this. I fucked around and I played myself because I wanted to go to Harvard and give my little lecture and ruined my own brain. Yeah, yeah. In the process. What month was this?

The very, very beginning of March 2020. Oh, yeah. Wow. We just thought we had to wash our hands. We were like, oh, I have such clean hands and I'm never going to get this brand new respiratory virus. Like we could not put it together at the time. Right. So nobody was wearing the masks. And then I got back in and there. Oh, well, I'm sorry. It's no, it's great. I'm going to write like Mrs. Dalloway about it. Did your husband get it, too? He did get it, but he did not have the Pippi Longstocking thing.

Oh, wow. And actually, he feels now that it has optimized him. He could write his own essay about how he was optimized by coronavirus. Apparently, this is actually a real thing, that sometimes when you have a virus, it like kind of turns off kind of idling background processes in the body. So he feels mentally incredible. And he has the most amazing abs

for the first time in his life. And his butt is more defined. And he believes this is all the result of coronavirus. Yeah. And he talked about this, like in one of the interviews I did for No One Is Talking About This, he was cited as a background source because he's my husband. And he talked extensively about the coronavirus optimization, but it didn't make it in probably because it's so irresponsible to be like, people go out and get COVID and you'll have this nice ass afterwards. Like that's not okay. You want cantaloupes in your pants? Get the virus. Get the bat disease. Oh, well, yeah, he should keep that under his hat. He really should.

Yeah, I think he should keep it private. And it's on this podcast, which no one is going to listen to. Let's be real about it. No, come on. Don't say that. No. Plug it. You can plug it right now. Plug it.

Now, you are from the Midwest. Yeah. You are from Ohio? Ohio and St. Louis. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So where you were speaking, are you like an upper Midwest guy?

I'm Illinois. Illinois. Well, I mean, I was born in Grand Rapids, Michigan, but I only lived there for a very short time. But did you notice how I, how I said, I was like, are you from the glove? Cause I felt that about you. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, that's, that's our vacation wonderland. You know, that's like, you know wisconsin is the caribbean of of illinois um but no i'm from i'm from well all over the midwest but because my dad was a college professor so he taught at grand valley state when i was born and then he went to uh indiana university and where he still he still lives inton. So I lived in Grand Rapids, Bloomington. And then when my folks divorced, my mother went back to her ancestral home

in Yorkville, Illinois. But small town Illinois, Northern Illinois, but might as well. Once you get outside the collar communities of Chicagoland, it doesn't matter. You could either be in Mattoon or Rockford. They're all about the same. So you know all about the pork tenderloin, and you can probably speak extensively on that food item. Well, I wouldn't say I could speak extensively. Would you say that you're made of pork tenderloins of the Illinois, Indiana? I definitely am made of meat.

Tenderloin. That's for sure. Yeah. Would you say it's pork if you had to narrow down the meat? Yeah. Pork or beef. It would be pork or beef. Yeah.

I feel like I'm veal. You're pork. I'm veal. Well, you're super classy. I know. And I'm forever young, Andy're pork. I'm veal. Well, you're super classy. I know. And I'm forever young, Andy. Forever young and tender. Yeah.

You're a brainy writer doing London review of books. Of course you're veal. Well, your dad is this professor of Russian literature who steals mail. No, not Russian. The Russian language. The Russian language who steals mail from Nabokov's house. He steals mail. He steals Russian mail from Nabokov's house. He steals mail. He steals Russian mail from Nabokov's house.

See, this is how rumors get started. Get started. I know, on podcasts is how they get started. Yes, we were talking before the show started. Or were we? Was it before the show started? Yeah, we were doing a little tech check. Yeah. And my dad on a trip to Russia stole a nail from the foundation of Nabokov's childhood home, and I have it somewhere.

He should drive it through his palm. It looks like one of those Jesus nails from one of the movies. Yeah, I saw it in my mind. It's a big, nasty nail. Well, it looks like a railroad spike, but a smaller railroad spike, but certainly a big motherfucker of a nail. Yeah, I'm having Jesus feelings about it, and I do believe that's what your dad should do with the nail. Or he can send it to me, and I'll do it live on your podcast. Whoa.

Screams only. Now, speaking of Jesus feelings, you are the daughter of a clergy, but he's an unorthodox clergy, correct? Yeah, very, very unorthodox. Yeah. No, he's a married Catholic priest. It's just such a rare kind of guy. Some people think we need more of them.

And I'm like, judging from my dad, I don't know that we do. Now, how did that come about? Was he married when he felt the calling? So I do go into this in pre-study, but the reader can probably, at that point in the book, like feel my absolute impatience with even having to address this completely boring subject. But it's not actually that boring. So he was like this teenage rock and roll atheist, right? And he had like a big fro that he had grown out.

And he had like these velvet pants. And he was in a band. And he didn't believe and he had like these velvet pants and he was in a band and he didn't believe in God. And like he was that debate guy in class where he was like a fetus is a parasite. He was that sort of dude. I don't know that guy. A fetus is a parasite. You might know that guy. He was that kind of guy.

So after he was done yelling that the fetus is a parasite in high school and playing his rock and roll he joined the navy he became a submariner and he was subjected to repeated viewings of the exorcist on board the uss flying fish yes there was like a projector room and i don't think they had a lot of choice there wasn't a lot of variety in the movies that they got to see. Either that or they were just fucking clamoring for the exorcist night after night after night. But it scared the shit out of my dad. And he converted. Because of the exorcist.

Because of the exorcist, yeah. Wow. And he wasn't even seeing the cut where she crawls up the stairs backwards. The crab crawl. No. Although he did, as soon as that came out, he got that and he showed it to me. And he like, it was a cautionary tale. He's like, this could happen to you.

So he watched that. He converted to Christianity. He became a Lutheran minister. He was already married to my mom at that point. My mom had grown up Catholic and was probably like- Where had they met, if I may? So in Cincinnati, Ohioio they went to the same high school she was the hall monitor and she delivered a note to his class oh wow which is very

i think that's still the dynamic that they have um she's like very much a hall monitor person so yeah she brought the note in and he had a cop fantasy that he wanted probably oh yeah totally he's a police chaplain so he rides around in a car with like a little police chaplain thing in the back but i think it's just so that he doesn't get pulled over it's so that he doesn't get tickets yeah yeah it also gets you good parking spots at the hospital yeah yeah but no he loves cops he wants to kiss cops he just like he loves them it's a huge issue. Yeah. So he loves my mom. Way to go, William Friedkin.

You really messed this guy up. He did. I know. They should have a conversation about that. So yeah. So he was married to my mom. He was a Lutheran minister. She was like, I'm sure the perfect Lutheran minister's wife.

And then he converted again, probably because she was like whispering in his ear at night, be a Catholic, flesh and blood, drink his blood. Transmogrification. Eat his slices of his flesh. She was doing that while he was sleeping and he woke up and he was like, okay, yeah, that's for me. It's also too, it's like he really wanted the hard stuff. Like the halfway stuff.

The belief. Yeah, yeah. Like none of that the halfway stuff. The heroin of belief. Yeah, yeah. Like none of that methadone. He wanted to completely nearly die of an overdose of religious faith and fervor. And they don't have any problem with that. Like, I'm a Lutheran minister. I want to be a priest. I got a wife. I got kids at this point. Yes or no? Yeah. No, I was baptized Lutheran, so that says something about me. Wow. Yeah, I know. No, so there's a special loophole. There's a dispensation you can get if you're a married minister of another faith. And it's ones that are closer. It is like Anglicanism,

Lutheranism, the ones that are like almost there but not quite. Right, right. Then you can apply to the very special pope and get a dispensation. And they're at that time we're only like a 50 or 100 of them they were always very like cagey about the number because they didn't actually want people to again find out that they could do this and then have this big influx of guys trying it which i don't really think that would happen it was a lot of weeks to jump through right exactly although if you did really you know if, you know, you wanted to be a priest, but you also wanted to fuck. Yeah. It's like the junior college of priesthood.

Absolutely. Yes. Just go and be an Anglican priest. You had to figure it out and you had to have some guy show you the way. So hopefully my book, Priest Eddie, is being used as like a manual now for someone else to do that, some other guy. used as like a manual now for someone else to do that some other guy it's a really funny book and it's a really like i i loved it and as as somebody with i'm actually looking up and seeing if it's on the shelf above me um but uh as i found though as a father like there was so much of it that made me so nervous just because your childhood always seemed to be like the kind of skiing where you're somewhere between setting a world-class record and also breaking your neck like you're inches from disaster yeah and every second and it seemed like your entire childhood was that kind of stress. Yes.

So I was acclimated to just very high altitudes of personality from a young age. Yeah, no. My dad could safely be described as like a manic depressive guy. And so actually when he was really high up, those were like the great times. That's when he was buying beautiful guitars and cars and the hugest TVs that he could get a discount for at Best Buy by flashing his collar. That's when Stairmasters for some reason, treadmills occasionally, it was always something new. And those were the really great times actually. And then, you know, the other times were a little bit lower. So I was accustomed

to that. I thought that that is what people were like. Yeah. And is your mom sort of more grounded in that, in this sense? She is. You might get the sense from pre-study that she's very grounded. She's not. She's way the crazier one, actually. And I think she's like much more creative, but not in terms of like fluctuation of mood. She's just like tuned to a very high degree of danger. It's like she's got a siren going like on the top of her head that is her red hair, basically. And that is how she lives her life. So in a way, she's the crazier one, I would say. Now, as a child, I mean, do you just have to... Do you feel cared for? Or do you just feel like, I'm in this rock tumbler and I need to get polished or I'm going to crack?

Yeah, it was more the second. I would say that I felt fairly unsafe as a child, but a lot of that was just sort of like geographical precarity. We were always moving. You never knew when he would get one of these ideas into his head and decide that he needed to burn bridges with some bishop or something like that. And then, you know, two weeks later, he would be on the move. It was like we were in the witness protection program in some special Catholic way. Yeah, no, I don't know if I would have felt particularly safe as a child anyway, though. I was very much given to believing that the police were after me, no matter what.

So, an anxious child. And how many siblings? So there are five of us. Wow. So it's a big, he got the full litter in there. He very much believes in physical intactness. As Catholics, that's a huge thing with them. It extends even to his dogs. He refuses to have any of his dogs spayed on the off chance that they will be fertile and multiply. He just really, really, really believes in reproduction. Can't you tell my loves are growing?

Now, growing up, did you know what you wanted to be? Did you have ideas of what you wanted to do? No, I always knew that I was going to be a writer, except for this four-month period where I decided that I wanted to be a voice artist who did voices for cartoons. I don't think that that would have been the life for me, and I don't even think it's a job. Oh, it certainly is a job.

It's a job. You can tell me some stories about this. You know these guys who decided that they were going to be like the cartoon voices when they were quite young. There's having done some cards. I mean, I'm a I'm a dabbler in cartoon voices, and I was sort of grandfathered in from working in television and other things. But there's about. I would say 15 people that do the voices of every cartoon on television. Like when I got to New York City and started working on the Conan show, I got a voiceover who said, like, yeah, you could do voiceover work. So I would go around to different auditions and stuff.

And there again in New York City, this is advertising, this isn't cartoons. I'd see about the same 10 people. is advertising this is in cartoons i'd see about the same 10 people yeah and then and you'd start to wonder like well how come it's always the same 10 people and you think and i started to realize oh it's just because it's manageable you need the advertisers only want one of about three or four things it's advertising is even dumber than show. And so they only want one of four things. And so if they want this kind of guy, they have three of those kind of guys. So there's just three. If they want this kind of guy, then they got a few of those too. So you just pick from these.

And they don't go out and check and see, like, who's the new amazing voice talent. Yeah. Because who gives a shit? They just go for the guys. Right, right. It's just like, we got this manageable pool of talent. We'll just keep them. Yeah, they just go for the guys. Right, right. 15 people doing them because they're fucking amazing yeah no they seem really they're amazing because they do they have kind of have their you know like they're sort of wheelhouse voices but then they're always in when you do a cartoon they're going oh we got an incidental part

it's you know like it's a nervous fish can you do a nervous fish and these fucking guys will go like well i got 10 different nervous fish and they're all fantastic and they just rattle them off like beep beep beep beep beep you know you have a nervous fish um well i could do something i suppose club club but i you know i'm i'm like i say i'm a a dabbler i'm i'm a pretender I have about four voices. They have 30 voices. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what kind of kids were these people? Because I do wonder that they were in the bathroom a lot is how I'm picturing it. Looking at themselves in the mirror doing the voices, right? This is how it works. Yes. And well, I did a voice for the Madagascar movies.

I got a job for that. And then I did the subsequent television shows. And the first Madagascar television show was on Nickelodeon. And it had like a lot of these guys that are just like standard voice guys. And frequently you record separately, but this show they used to like to record everybody together. And there was one point where I was sitting in the control room waiting for my turn. But there were like four or five of them in. And everyone's sitting on a stool.

They have a microphone in front of them. And if there's any downtime, they just start going. Like just making noises. And they're all. And I at the time owned a parrot. And I, at the time, owned a parrot. No, it just reminded me of the parrot store. Like all these creatures sitting on perches just making noises for each other. Is it a dedicated store for parrots?

Yes, it's a parrot pet store here in LA. The perfect parrot. I think it's in North Hollywood. It's on Riverside Drive. It's a fantastic store. What happened to your parrot, Andy? Divorce. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, no. The parrot was kind of like bonded to me. No one else could really take care of him. And then I just, I was moving to an apartment and i just didn't want to leave the bird alone for i understand 10 12 hours a day so i he and he's very happy now he's in fact the he this is this is so not about you actually uh i took him back to the i took him back to the

pair at the pet store and cam the woman that runs had him, and she was only showing him to certain people. Macaulay Culkin owned my bird for about a year, and then for some reason had to, again, like me, said, like, you know, it won't work. Yeah, the life of an actor. But I actually went over to Macaulay Culkin's house and like revisited my bird. But now the bird lives at the store and is owned by Kim that runs the store. And they have a love affair, an ongoing. Like when I went and saw him with her, I realized, oh, I thought he loved me. He was never happy.

No. It was never a fulfilling relationship compared to what he has with her. Okay. So does he still have your voice? Does he still have Macaulay's voice? Is it a repository of voices? It's not a very talky breed. Interesting.

All he does is, and even the ones that do say things, they sound like they have a tracheotomy. They have a voice like that. All he would do is, pretty bird, pretty bird. Oh, no. Sounds like a very old man, yeah. They're not like one of the breeds that are amazing mimics. The eloquent ones, yeah. Not one of those.

They can mimic like a fire truck and a dog and your mother. The bird that can almost say nothing i like you're like i am getting a parrot but it can say two words yeah yeah yes um well anyway enough about my birds enough about my parents so many people are gonna complain like he would never even let her talk he just talked about his fucking bird the whole time um well uh what point did you start to think i gotta get out of here? I got to get out of the parsonage. Is that what they call it in the Catholic Church?

No, we call it the rectory, which is more of an anal word. Yeah, it is, very much. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So sometimes the rectory was very close to the church. Other times it was a little ways across town. But yeah, the one that I was in right before I met my husband on the internet, which is what you have to do, you know, when you're trapped in a rectory or a convent.

It was this old, old sort of stone Civil War era mansion that had been a stop on the Underground Railroad because it was right on the river. And there were secret passages and things like that in it. And of course, like we were using it for all the wrong things. It was like the opposite of a stop on the Underground Railroad. So I was like, I need to get out of this place. I moved into the convent next door, which was just like an abandoned convent. But I loved it because I could just be on the internet all day. So there was just like a desktop computer there.

And I'm like, you know, going into like Yahoo chat rooms and that sort of thing. Yeah. Meeting Jason, who has been optimized now by coronavirus. But back then his ass was like spreading and not defined and just fluffy. Yeah. Falling behind his knees. To crep it. Yeah, absolutely.

So back then, not so great. But yeah, he was from Colorado and he drove all the way to meet me. And now I'm like, oh, yeah. How did how did I end up in a relationship where I move again every two years? And it's like probably meeting a guy on the internet who comes out to meet you. And it's like Mercury Mystique from Colorado. That's the way you get yourself into that situation again. So that's how it happened.

Yeah, but my God, just the way you describe it, I'm turned on. Yeah, I know. It was very sexual. Wow. And we're like meeting in the abandoned convent. It was just the sexual energy was off the charts. Insane. Yeah, we had never seen each other.

It was, yeah. Luckily, we're both very hot people, even though he was not yet optimized by the coronavirus. He was still fine. So I was like, yeah, okay, let's do this. And we just like hightailed it out of there. Had you dated anybody? Had you had many boyfriends?

Like two guys. First of all, like why even date a man? I should have said to myself at the time, it's like not necessary. Can't believe that women used to have to be married to men. But it was like two boyfriends. The first, Steve, wanted to be a gynecologist. He wore like huge JNCOs and had like the wallet chain.

What are JNCOs? I don't know what JNCOs are. Oh, the really big wide leg jeans that we wore in the 90s. Andy, did you miss that cultural moment? I did miss that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So it was huge.

And it was like something was almost Christian about it. Like we put Jesus in those jeans they were so big that we were like smuggling the lord in those pants and he was not 100 a christian but he did want to be a gynecologist and i'm not gonna that's it's not a mainstream wish i mean i think you try to be a doctor and then you're like i love this pocket that i have yeah yeah love this pocket that I have. Yeah. Yeah. This warm pocket that I have my hand in all day. I'm going in that direction.

That's how people decide. I don't think. Wait, the whole hand? The whole hand? My hand is in this warm place and it's paradise. I'm a gynecologist now. That's,

that's my voice. If I'm the voice artist, that's my one voice. That is my one. So he started out wanting to be, so we dated for like 30 days yeah you can't go on too long with that kind of thing honestly and who the teen wants to be like i mean every teen every teen boy every straight cis het teen boy is interested in vaginas but i mean come on that's a bit much it's a lot yes and i never really got to know what it meant for us as

a couple because i decided at the end of like 30 days that i wanted to be a nun i was always deciding this when i was a teenager i was and probably i just meant like get this fucking boy away from me right and i was like that it was just translating into that and i was like i'm gonna be a nun steve get the hell out of here put your hand in a nice warm pocket and get out of my life yeah no hands in me right exactly no hands i'm not your puppet steve just jesus's hands my huge huge my pants were pretty big too the girls also wore the big pants okay everybody did yeah um well okay so then you and jay how old are you and and jason when you meet like 19 19 are you guys the same age uh he's a year older okay and so he shows up and you're like bye you basically this is this is post 9-11 andy so anyone like you were just

doing whatever at that point right right it seemed like the world was over how soon after 9-11 was it just a couple months oh wow, the world was really crazy. We were reeling. Yeah, anything was possible. And it was just like, okay, yeah, we are going to do this. Yeah, it sort of opened up vistas for those of us in the Midwest who didn't really have a lot of tall buildings around. And he's a journalist, correct? Well, he was at that point.

And he's a journalist, correct? Well, he was at that point. Luckily, he got out of that racket just in time for Donald Trump to be elected president of the United States. So he didn't ever have to be in a newsroom when that was happening. He now works for the museums down here in Savannah, the museum system. Oh, that's cool. So that's just a lot more comfortable, as you can imagine. Yeah. I mean, we were going through all of these extremely horrendous

elections and like the stress level was completely off the charts anyway, but he knew exactly what was going to happen because his days on the news desk, he's like, here's how you look at the counties coming in. Here's how you do this, do this. So I always knew what was going to happen. I knew it was going to happen in the Georgia runoffs. So I was able to just put that in his hands and not have to follow the news myself in that regard. So it was quite calm. But if he, I mean, the night that Obama was elected, I think the first night he ended up in the hospital, just out of like sheer stress, I think, and happiness made me from like covering that election. Like we literally like watched,

you know, the results come in for that, like in the hospital. Wow. Wow. And he's had an eye issue. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's okay now, but yeah. Just to touch on it. Just to touch on that. No, I mean, cause it's not you, it's him and enough about him, but you know. Right. I know. It's like parrots, husbands, eyes. Yeah. I mean, I just, I just feel it's about you in that. I don't want you to be saddled with a blindie. Well, you know, he has little like lenses that are very high tech inside the eye now. Yeah. He developed subcapsular cataracts the last time we lived in Savannah. So this was like 2014 or this was a long time ago now, 2013, 2014.

Yeah. And we raised the money on the internet and it was weird because it was like the one of the first i remember in that sort of like go fund me wave of people i remember it too yeah crowdfunding yeah i think i gave you money you probably gave me fucking money i probably never thanked you and i'm not even grateful for it you might because you're a rich motherfucker who has all the parents and the voiceover work that he wants and craves. Well, now, was college in your, I mean, you said you wanted to be a writer, and usually, you know, you kind of, you have to go through some sort of writing factory

college experience. You have to get educated. You have to learn some things. You gotta get your brain right. You gotta be Rory Gilmore at Harvard getting the coronavirus, I guess. No, I wanted to go to St. John's College, which was a great book school. But I was not able to go because my dad just bought guitars with that money, I think. Paul McCartney's lefty guitar, custom made for him, but then he didn't want it. So my dad bought it instead. It's a good story no shit really he got a guitar that paul mccartney did not want wow yeah i know it's really incredible

it's like well if you didn't want it dad like i think he's being foisted on you by this guy who's like how am i gonna unload this like lefty guitar signed by paul mccartney that's not you know what where is the market for that right right so i think that's where my education was but i mean that's fitting right that that's my college years just like poured into paul mccartney's lefty unwanted guitar can't you tell my loves are growing how do you i mean how do you start a career you you you know you take off with this this gadfly that's him you know this mystique driving you know damaged goods broken-eyed motherfucker well that was drooping buttocks. Yeah. His, his butt was more of an issue at that point.

I was like, Whoa. But I mean, how do you, is I, is it the internet? Is that kind of what started? Probably. Yeah. It took like 10 years and, and to his credit, he was just like, this is my, it was more like, this is my damaged wife that I take care of. And I like carry her upstairs to her canopy bed every night because she's a veal. And that's just what I have to do. That's what I signed up for. No, I mean, I would occasionally have like a bookstore job. I would occasionally have a waitressing job. But I mean, looking for me, you're like, she's not cut out for it. You know, she's like, everyone's tipping her because she's friendly, but she's not getting the orders right. We don't want her in our restaurant so i was not economically a useful person yeah so it's just like i was just like submitting my poetry for like 10 years trying to get

a book of poetry published because that's what you do when you want to be rich and get the right right exactly you yeah when you're a real go-getter when you're a hustler that's what you do uh yeah and i think that that is what I would have continued to do. But the Internet sort of intruded in the sense that it made it possible, I think, for me to have a wider audience. And pre-study, I think, was the result of my Twitter presence. It was sort of like, well, what can I do? I do need to earn some money because my husband has had this surgery and I need to carry my weight for once. I need to start walking up the stairs myself. And pre-study was really the result of that. It was kind of like, I need to dig us out of this hole as quickly as I can sort of thing. But then because I am an artist, we do call ourselves artists as well. I also had to make sure it was a really good book. Yes.

I had to write a good book. And it really, well, I mean, you are a, you are a amazingly talented writer. I just, in fact, I just saw somebody from your new book, the name of which is, what's your name? No one is talking about this. No one is talking about this. How fitting that I would forget that.

I knew it was a phrase. I have a terrible... But I heard somebody posted a clip from it. And actually, it was Steve Soberman, who's a writer and an autism activist. Yes. He said like this. He goes, I would kill to be able to write like this. That is so cool.

And I think there's so many, so many, so many excerpts from your work that can make, I feel that. I feel like just your facility with the language and your ease with it. And just, you feel like it's like you run English. English doesn't run you. I run it. I do run it. Yeah. I had to figure it out. I mean, it was weird to me. Language was weird to me all the way back.

I would sort of like stare at books and I would try to crack the code, right? I didn't understand it on an intuitive level. And when that's true, you figure out how to run the game. You figure out what everything means. You go in deeper than other people go in because you need to figure it out. But it's cool that you say that because like like, I am on the spectrum for sure. Oh, really? And I do consider No One is Talking About This to be, like, an autistic book.

And part of it, like, I don't think the character is aware of it, but there's definitely parts where she's, like, stimming or she's caught in a loop. Like, she's inside the internet. And I think it's definitely true that, like like neurodivergent people go to the internet for something that they don't necessarily receive from the outside world. So it's not explicit, but yes, I do very much consider it to be, yeah, an autistic book. And it's kind of, and it's an internet book in that it's kind of, in the way that it's structured. I haven't read it yet.

I've seen, I kind of looked at it and it seems like it's. It's going to take you an afternoon. It's easy. I know. And I, and like I said, I am embarrassed that I haven't done it yet because no, I kind of looked at it and it seems like it's. It's going to take you an afternoon. It's easy. I know. And I, and like I said, I am embarrassed that I haven't done it yet because no, I'm, because I was excited. I asked about, you know, getting you on the show and then I wanted to read it beforehand and I didn't.

And then, you know, everyone's having trouble reading. No. Are you having trouble reading books? I'm having an awful, awful time reading anything. And, but I'm having an awful, awful time reading anything. But I'm having a hard time. Like, this is the time, too, that, you know, now it's going on a year. And, like, I'm sitting here like, where are the screenplays, Andy? Where are the pilots?

Where are the essays? And all I can fucking do, I mean, well, I put down the vape pen, so that helps. on the vape pen so that helps um but uh but i all i can really do is like you know cook meals for my kids when they come over and watch binge like you know the french crime show that on netflix you know so i i and i a friend of mine uh just he said like you know, you know, this is the time to consume. This is the time to not be a culture provider, but a culture consumer. You're incubating. And I'm like, wow, I love it when people rationalize my inaction. I thought about that, too, because for me, I thought it was because I got COVID and my brain completely melted.

And I was like, if that hadn't been true, I would have written like four books, you know, four like quarantine books, four lockdown books. And I would have loved it because I'm always a person who liked to be locked in my house. I'm quite reclusive in certain ways when I'm not like traveling. But no, at the beginning, I was like, yeah, I'm ready for this. I can do this. But then I actually got it. And then I thought that's why I couldn't read. But I was doing an event with Tommy Pico the other night. He said that my book was the first book he had read all year. Oh, wow. And I was like, holy shit. And then I'm like, well, what are people doing? Are they watching

like TV, the French crime shows, as you say? They're watching everything. So what happened to me was that I got like extremely into art movies. So maybe I just went more into the visual direction. I suddenly was watching all like the most serious Criterion Collection movies that I never got to watch in college. And for some reason, I was able to pay attention to those as if they were real life. And sometimes it was like they were this window on the world of like being outside. Like I was watching Secrets and Lies, that Mike Lee movie. And it was just like every single millisecond and it was real.

It felt like, you know, when you were a teenager and you would go to the art house theater in the afternoon because the tickets were discounted then. And you would see this really serious movie that was like this window on the world. And so I was able to watch movies in that way. And I wasn't able to read books, which had previously been my window. So I wonder if everyone's having something like that where there's some previously unexplored i think that that i well i think that that's you know it's the basic thing between like a book for me can be transportational which is like what which is what i want out of a work of art anyway i want transportation out of myself i want i want to forget me um and a book

you can do that but i have like i have attention span issues so i i have a hard time reading and it really takes a like a james elroy kind of okay you know like you know like a book that reads you more than you read it it just goes and you just kind of get in it and it's like a downhill shoot of. Yeah. Type of words in French code. Yeah. Well, just that,

that the writing is so. Carries you. Yeah. That has such a progress to it. Yeah. That I, cause sometimes there, I mean,

there's even beautiful books that I really enjoy, but I just, it's hard for me to get through because of just the fact that I'm reading words and processing them. Whereas I think when you're sitting and looking at images that you're, that there's, you know, it's, it's the closest there is to a drug without being a drug. It's there, you know, you're, you know, you could play it on a helmet and that would be even more sort of immersive, But movies are pretty immersive, you know, or they can be certainly. That's how it felt. And it wasn't that it wasn't true of me

before, but suddenly it was just this realm that it opened up. But the interesting thing about no one is talking about this is because it is written in the fragment style. I think people are having an easier time reading it. I didn't think about this being true, but because especially the first section is more like written in the style of the internet, of something like Twitter, people are able to scroll Twitter right now. And it's not as difficult, I think, to make the shift to that, which is not something I expected. I didn't think about it being read in that way. I didn't think about it being read by a bunch of people who are essentially locked in their homes, you know, like read by a bunch of people who are essentially locked in their homes yeah like unable to consume um like henry james and and more serious works of literature of the the western canon well you you

mentioned twitter and i mean and that's how i first got to know you and i think that's how a lot of people first got to know you there was uh and there was a poem uh the rape joke poem that you wrote that kind of i I think, got a lot of attention and got a lot of, but I mean, before that you were writing this, like your Twitter account is just, it's kind of one of the, one of the, the ne plus ultra, I don't know if I'm using that phrase right, of Twitter accounts because you're doing something so weird and different with it, especially in the old day. You don't seem to be as active as you used to be on it, but you used to just write the most beautifully weird little chunks of your brain. Little fling in those chunks.

Yeah. And I think that was it a conscious decision to kind of make this book that same sort of like choppy, chunky little, you know, little nuggets? Little nuggets. I'm thinking of like Alpo. I'm thinking of like, you know, in a movie when they sort of just fling the dog food. I'm thinking of gold. I'm thinking of nuggets of gold. No, it was like that. I was noticing, I did have all of these observations when I was reading Twitter, like sort of like micro thoughts, really, that were almost more like, you know, like antennae moving in a writer, you sort of think, is this for the book or is this for the internet, which is not something that previously people had to decide, but it's something they have to decide now. So yeah, it became a thing where I removed myself more in order to make those observations. But I found also that the more people follow you and

the more people who you don't know who are interacting with you, the quieter you become. It was really only the fact that no one knew who I was that I was able to enter into this free space and just like say whatever the hell, because no one was listening. It's like, let's figure out what we can do here. It seemed like a very, very elastic sort of space. And low stakes. There's no consequences. elastic sort of space. Yeah. And low stakes. Very, very low stakes. There's no consequences.

Yeah. Certainly not then. This was like 2011 and you were really just, it was like the pure contents of your own horrible brain. You were just spilling out. That's what drew me to it was that. And because they are like little word puzzles. And as somebody who writes jokes, it's a great way, you know, like to, I'm not a

standup. So if I come up with a joke, I can't hold onto it and go tell it at the chuckle hut. I have to, I got to give it to somebody. And so I put it on Twitter, but I also love the layering of something where you can do in that short period of time, you can plug three or four ideas yeah into one little chunk of words yeah where you can you know and that was like it's true it can be tremendously exciting and i think that like as a form it can be really you know it could it's yes it's a sewer and yes it's you know rats running around yeah a big hate pit but yeah you know, it also too is like, there's a lot of amazing people who got to show their brains to the world and you're one of them. And also I think much more so than in a lot of other, other formats or other media, a lot of women, like there's a lot of

really funny, talented women that you can point to, oh, it was Twitter. You know, they got onto Twitter. Yeah, because it was a sort of free field. It was also completely transparent to the outside world. So a lot of times we would be talking to each other, you know, a lot of what's happening on Twitter is like people talking amongst themselves, among their own kind. Yeah. And the rest of the world. I'm talking to my friends.

Yeah, I'm talking to my friends there, which is why it gets so weird when suddenly you get a bunch of followers because you're like, wait, who are these people? And you're sort of like looking at the limits and you're looking at who you're talking to and it doesn't quite feel the same. But yeah, especially in those early days, I would go into the most insane states of hyper focus, just like looking at my phone. And it was one of those like fold-out phones back then. Yeah, yeah. And I would just like type and type and type until I got it right. And it would last kind of a long time. And it was a state of total bliss where you were trying to get this joke correct, right? And it was like you were moving little tiles around.

Yeah, and very constructive, very much a construction. Yeah. Yes, very much so. And probably you have like ADHD too, right? I sure, oh boy absolutely yeah so it's like a pleasure for us to be in that place where we can and you're right too there's the impulse to give that you have these ideas or you make this thing and then you say here this is for you yeah and it's yeah and it's and i just did it because i like it and it's funny and i like that you like it yeah yeah exactly you said you like, you know, being a world eater like you are, you started out trying to write poems for different people. So I take it that like fame and notoriety, was that a part of your early plan?

Like, was that was there a fantasy of like, someday I'm going to be well-known? Because you are. And I wonder, is that okay? Like, do you, there was this new weird thing, Twitter, that made you famous. And is that, how does that feel? I thought I was going to be famous after I died. I never thought about the part where people might know who I was when I was alive. So I had this very long game in mind where I think I was like wearing a toga and I was in sort of like a Valhalla type place and people knew who I was there. Right. I've been, you know, like raised with these heavenly ideas. Right.

So I thought that's what was going to happen. I would be strumming a little lyre maybe. Right. And people would know what my name was. After your death from drinking. Thousands of years. Yeah. From, yeah, like drinking hemlock or like eating some sort of toxic plant. But I never

thought about it while I was alive. And it didn't enter into it at all. And I really thought that I would be like in a hut somewhere. And during that 10 years where I was sort of trying to make it, I never really thought about it then either. I don't know what my end game was for my own life in my writing while I was alive. I didn't think about that. I was like, don't worry. One day you'll be dead and then they'll know. That's as far as it ever got for me, which is like too far maybe. That's insane.

But are you okay with it now? I mean, is it a good thing? Is it a fun thing? Is it a weird thing? Is it a scary thing? It feels better when I can talk to people in real life. Yeah. Whatever is happening now is not a very comfortable feeling. It was difficult to do like a major press push for this new novel when I couldn't speak to anyone in

person, when I was having these really distanced, weird photo shoots where I'm like, you know, crouching in the cold and like a bush and, you know, someone is like this many feet away, like taking a picture of me. That doesn't feel quite right, but probably it wouldn't feel right for anyone. But when you are in a room full of people and you can touch them and you can talk to them and you can receive their energy, then it feels okay. That is all right with me because I'm still anonymous in my own room. I still go into my room and that's where I am myself and no one knows me then. But yeah, as far as the world knowing me, it's only okay when I get to be in the world, right?

Not now. Not right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, do you have any long-term sort of goals? This is so interesting because I did go into this thinking that we would address the three questions. Yeah, well, that's the idea. That's the idea.

And I have to tell you, Andy, when I looked at the questions, it was like someone just took an eraser to the whiteboard of my mind and just completely – I was like, there's no way I will ever be able to answer any of these questions. So I had to, when I took my mushrooms the other day, then I had to consider the questions on mushrooms. And then I felt more comfortable with it. I was like, oh, okay, I can talk about these things now. But it literally took me, I had to take magic mushrooms that I could look at those questions and feel that I could have a proper conversation. Is that a regular? No, it was the first time.

Oh, wow. Yeah. It was for the post COVID stuff. I was like, well, first of all, it's good for people who have had like traumatic brain injuries.

It's good for people who have depression and things like that. So if we don't know exactly what it is and you're still having like these neurological issues, maybe magic mushrooms out in the woods are your answer right and actually it really did help i've been having a lot of trouble reading and i was able to read like instantly the next day oh wow that's great it was really cool yeah i've often considered because i'm i'm i haven't done mushrooms in a million years um and but and they were always you know they were it was always just you know hey let's take a bunch of mushrooms and laugh at each other you know somebody's

shitty apartment in chicago but you know but but the people talking about microdosing and things it's a very intriguing thing yes so that's what i did it was honestly like a piece that was like the size of my thumbnail yeah and it was perfect because you didn't think you couldn't like trip balls and jump off the edge of a building or something. Yes, yes, yes. It was just like, I'm just going to go to the beach and the waves are going to look a little bit nicer. Yeah, yeah. And I'm going to be able to consider these Andy Richter's questions that previously had me in a blind panic and then I was not able to think about it all. Suddenly on the microdose, you were able to do that.

So, yeah, you should try it if you as like a Hollywood creature have creature have i think i just may i'll be right back um uh well so what is what did the mushrooms tell you that where you're going um no i don't remember i didn't i wrote it down i wrote a very extensive thing called my mushroom journal yeah and part of it was about bunny whaler this was on saturday and then he died like three days later oh you killed him i well don't say that i am very psychic so i did i probably was thinking about him thinking yeah yeah listen to the bunny whaler because it was coming um but yeah so i wrote this this whole about it, and now I don't remember a single word at all. I see a path disappearing over the crest of a hill, Andy, and the sun is setting. I mean, I guess maybe it's possible I'm dying as well.

Perhaps it showed me my own mortality. We're all dying. We're all dying. We're all dying. We're all bunny whaler. All of us. All of us. I don't think all of us are bunny whaler. Some of us are bunny whaler, and it's bunny whaler. All of us. All of us. I don't think all of us are bunny. Some of us are bunny whaler and it's bunny whaler. No, I think that I was thinking just a lot. You asked like, you know, where, where do you come from? And I believe that I wrote down that I came from hell. where are you going? And I think that I was just like, I'm going on a plane when all of this is over. I'm getting on a fucking plane and I'm going around the world. Like, where is the first place

you want to go when you get on a plane? Do you not, are you somebody that doesn't really like think that way? Like what, where am I? Yeah. No. In fact, I never think about the future. Yeah. I have like very intense recollections of the past. But no, if you asked me about my future, I'd be like, what are you talking about? I don't have a future. I'm already dead in a toga in the halls of Valhalla, strumming my little lyre. So yeah, so maybe I need to take a larger dose and just absolutely do the tripping balls thing. Then be able to see my own future. You don't have to.

No, I mean, it's just because I'm the same way. I mean, I'm very much, you know, if I was to have to answer that question, like, where are you going? I would be like, well, just getting better, you know, just trying to just get better at a time. Yeah. Yeah. I did picture like the keep on trucking, the bumper sticker. I was picturing like seventies posters and bumper stickers, and I was feeling very alien to these concepts, you know, these sorts of questions by which like other people organize and structure their lives, I think. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

Acquisitions and milestones and things like that. Yeah. So I was like, maybe I travel back to the 70s on my magic mushrooms. And I just like hitchhike across the fucking country in my huge jeans. Your huge bell bottoms that you can hide ninjas in. Yes, in Jesus Christ. I mean, that was a big Jesus decade. Huge.

Yes. Oh, my God. Yes. And hippies for Jesus. That was a big Jesus hippies. Hippies for Jesus. 100%. Jesus was the ur-hippie.

Well, okay, so what's the point? What's the point of the Patricia Lockwood story? That's the what have you learned part of the question. That's interesting. Well, I think it might make a little bit more sense when you do read the new novel. That is kind of the question that is addressed. So, the first section really is about the protagonist sort of leading this life inside the internet, almost as if she's trapped inside the internet. And the second half of the book is about her learning to be a pair of

hands, I would say. It is about caring. It's about transforming yourself into some useful, capable pair of hands that can carry things, that can lift things. Thought into action. That can hold, yeah. So, that is what I would say, too. And I think finding these very small, direct human ways to be useful that then are not small that move you know their way into the macrocosmos that become very large because you're applying them to to the things that are around you yeah uh and and then they expand i think well that's pretty good it's not bad yeah maybe i should have more mushrooms get back to me back to me. I'll give you a Zoom link that you can click onto anytime.

You have to update me on yours if you do decide. When you're really jumbled. I will, I will, actually. I would say that it really helped. It actually did really help, not to be like Silicon Valley drug guy, but wow. Yeah, yeah. All right. I'll check it out.

I mean, I don't know. I mean, I would say, like, I don't know where to get them, but I'll figure something out. I think you'll be fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I live in Burbank, California. You can find a little mushroom here or there. You can go into a field and you can count it, right? Grow my own.

Yeah, exactly. You know what to do. You know what to do. Well, Patricia, thank you so much for taking some time out of your day, out of your Savannah day. And my best to you. And the book is called No One Is Talking About This. And I'm going to read that motherfucker. You should read it.

I'm going to read the shit out of it. Read the shit out of that book. I'm going to put it right on the Kindle tonight. And by the way, is that better? Is it better for me to buy it hard copy or is it better? Does that make a difference to the writer? I don't think it makes much of a difference. I think that it's like better to support a local bookstore.

So in that sense, if you're able to do that. But also like, I find that I have better memories of books that I read that are print. Like I read on my Kindle all the time for a while because I traveled a lot. And it was just a lot more convenient. I could have all my books on there. But then I was like, I'm not remembering these books very well. Oh, really? Wow. Yeah. So, then I went back to physical books and I have like better sense memories,

I think of those. So, maybe try to read it in hardcover. And you can't level a wobbly table with a Kindle. You can't. There's so many uses for the physical book that I think the Kindle has not yet reached. Yeah. Try spanking somebody with a Kindle. Well, you probably could. Yeah, you could, but you're going to break your Kindle has not yet reached. Try spanking somebody with a Kindle. Well, you probably could. Yeah, you could, but you're going to break your Kindle. Well, thank you so much. Love to you and yours.

And we will get back at you next time on The Three Questions. Thanks for listening. Thank you, Andy. Thank you. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco and UROLF production. Thank you, Andy. There's Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Make sure to rate and review the three questions with Andy Richter on Apple Podcasts. Can't you tell my loves are growing? This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.