The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Sasheer Zamata

Episode Date: May 11, 2021

Actress and comedian Sasheer Zamata joins Andy to discuss her origins in Okinawa and Indiana, why stage fright never fazed her, and possibly the world's worst therapist. Sasheer also talks about her role in the new show Home Economics.

hello everybody it's time again for the three questions with andy richter i'm andy richter and my guest today is a very very funny talented uh wonderful performer who's in a new show now. You've seen her. You've loved her. It's Sashir Zamata. Hello, Sashir. How are you? Zamata. I'm sorry. That's all right. I'm sorry. Now, Zamata is your middle name, right? This is correct. Yeah, yeah. Because when I did the limited research that I do because I do a terribly short attention span. I saw that your folks had a different last name. And I was like, wait, what happened? And then I realized, oh, it's your middle name.

Yeah, yeah. Zemena is also my grandma's middle name. Oh, okay. So it's been passed down. But, yeah, my last name is Moore. And so she or Zemena just sounded more exciting to me. Honestly, there's nothing more than that. Well, it also, it also keeps people, you know, it's a nice barrier in, you know, in case you get freaks following you, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I think so. It's nice to have just a different name that it's not so easy to find me. Right. Right. I'm Paul Andrew Richter, and my mother just always called me Andy. Yeah. Just like that's what, from when I was a baby. But it's really been good because, like, well, not for a while, thank God, but when bill collectors used to call and they asked for Paul, I would know, like, oh, he's not here. This is not Paul.

Right, right, right. Yeah, so. Paul owes you money. Andy does not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, if you find that fucker, let me know. He owes me money too. And Sashir, tell people about the origin of your first name.

My first name is from Star Trek. My parents are Trekkies and they were watching an episode of Star Trek. Captain Kirk was flirting with the alien princess, as he does. Sure. And he handed her a flower and she goes, oh, we have something like this on my planet,

except it's made out of crystal and it's called Sashir. And my parents loved it immediately wrote it down um my mom i didn't know till later that my parents were drunk they were like on a wine tour when this happened oh that's great so i'm sure they were like this is amazing you know and also my my parents spelled it s-a-s-h-e-e-R. And then my mom found the script, the episode script, and found that it was spelled like S-A-S-H-I-R or something like that. There was a different spelling. Yeah.

And she sent it to me and was like, would you like to change the spelling of your name? And I was like, I'm 20. It's way too late. I've lived a full life with this spelling. I can't just change it now. Right. And also having to spell it out for people probably too you know like yeah i'd be like sorry now it's now it's in the ir just use a different name completely like it's the same name just spelled slightly different

oh yeah well you could have been named trible or something like that. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Or Romulan. Romulan Moore. Yeah. Oh, gosh. My dad would joke that he would speak, that he could speak Vulcan. And maybe he could have, but I just was like, oh, I guess Vulcan is like a different language that people could speak. I mean, I guess Trekkies could speak it. Yes. Trekkies could speak it because I guess it is, it is a language that you could speak, but it's funny because when my parents split and my mom was like, yeah, we had communication issues. I was like, ask because he spoke Vulcan all the time. That was the problem.

He needs to speak English more. Yeah. Yeah. The, the first sitcom I did when I was out here or when I came out here was in at Paramount and they were still shooting the, the, the one that I think Kateate mulgrew wasn't

kate mulgrew like the captain on one of them uh i don't know you're i should ask your parents i'm sorry yeah truly yeah i kind of stopped paying attention after next generation honestly yeah yeah me too that's the but they um they still were shooting and so I always got to see like Klingon smoking cigarettes and talking on cell phones, which was just like. That's so funny. Oh, it's like one of the things about working in this business that I still just love, you know. Yeah, seeing the curtain pulled. Well, and just, yeah, just makes it feel like you're in, you know, Pee Wee's Big Adventure. And, you know, the chase scene from Pee-wee is about to break out.

Yeah, I used to work at Disney World. I worked there in college. And I was friends with, you're not supposed to say that you were a character because the characters are the characters. So I was friends with Pluto. Oh, really? And Mrs. Incredible. I had a panic attack in the Buzz Lightyear costume. So you're not friends with him.

I'm actually enemies with Buzz Lightyear. I have a vendetta against him. But it was interesting, like, you know, all the work that's surrounded around keeping the magic and making sure the kids don't see you on break, see you relaxing, see you without your head on. It's quite incredible, which I appreciate. Absolutely. Don't see you on break, see you relaxing, see you without your head on. It's quite incredible, which I appreciate. Absolutely. I don't have, you know, there's a lot of people and especially, you know, I have kids and I know different parents. They'll be like, I'm not taking my kids to that commercial bullshit. And it's like, what do you have against kids being happy?

You know what I mean? What do you have against kids being happy? You know what I mean? It's like the contact high that you get from taking a little kid to Disney World is better than anything else you could do. It's just amazing. Now, like most comedy professionals, you were born in Okinawa. That is true, correct? This is true, yeah.

Okinawa, Japan. My dad was in the Air Force, and I was born on an Air Force base. And, yeah, I wish I was there long enough to actually, like, get memories or to say that I actually lived there. But I was only there for, like, a few months. I was a baby and then came to the States. But I do want to go back and see my birthplace. Yeah, yeah. Was your dad in the Air Force, like, for your dad in the Air Force for his whole career?

Yeah, for his whole career. We moved around a bunch. We went to Japan. Well, he went other places before I was even born, but I was in Japan, Kentucky, Texas, Virginia, California, and then my parents split, and I went to Indiana with my mom. Okay. But, yeah yeah and he's he like I actually I asked him what he did because I didn't always know what he did in the Air Force

and I know that he had a thing with cameras for a while he was in combat camera where they like take pictures of what's going on overseas and like put it in like a magazine or a newsletter or something and so he was like editing that stuff and then he taught for a while and so later in his career he was doing more teaching and he taught at a defense school in maryland and now he's teaching now he's retired from the air force but he's teaching uh public speaking out of college but oh wow i think it's i think that's probably why i was like comfortable speaking in front of people because i I would watch him teach or, or speak in,

in different forms and be like, yes, we speak, we, we do speeches. We speak out loud to people all the time. And that's natural. Yeah.

So it was nice that he was able to fulfill that side of, of art artistry while being in the military. So you didn't, was, was stage fright ever an issue for you because of that? Or were you always? No, I can't. I mean, I still get jitters, of course.

Yeah. Nervous about different performances, but yeah, I was like singing and performing since I was a kid. I remember my mom would say that I would like walk up to different tables at restaurants and just start singing a song for them. Wow. Like I, now, now that I'm an adult, if a kid walked up to me and started singing, I'd be like, can you go back to your table? Like what I'm trying to enjoy my dinner. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's the kind of thing that like, you know, a kid like so much, it's like, oh, that's such a cute thing a child does.

And then, you know, you just put a few years on it and it's mental illness. It's like now it needs to stop. Yeah, you need to stop that. Yeah. And now at what age did you start living in Indiana? I was, I moved there when I was nine or 10. Oh, okay. And I stayed there until I graduated high school.

So like my middle school high school years were there so that's probably better i would imagine to stay in one place as opposed to like did the moving around when you were younger did you even really notice it or was it just kind of i did notice it because i would get attached to a friend and then we'd leave so like yeah i do think that i think i've talked to other military kids about this too i think it does affect your ability to maintain connections because you're just used to leaving so you're like well why would i invest that much into these relationships here when i know i'm gonna leave in a year. Yeah. So, you know, through therapy and time, that has changed.

And I'm better at like, you know, being like, you're going to save my life for years now. And I know that. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I think I definitely noticed it. And I think I would have preferred to have stayed in a place longer. So, yeah, I did like, although when we got to Indiana, though, I was like, oh, we got to Indiana though, I was like,

oh, this is where we're staying. We can't go find some other, somewhere else. Now, Indiana. Yeah. Where, where in Indiana? I was in Indianapolis, which is a great place to raise kids. Yeah. No, my, my, uh, my dad still lives in Bloomington. He taught at IU. So I'm very familiar with Indiana. I grew up in Illinois more, but spent a lot of time in Indiana. So I'm familiar. I'm familiar, especially when you get south of Indianapolis, you might as well be in Kentucky. Truly. It gets to be southern quick. Yes, it sure does. And you think like, oh, it's Midwestern. Like, no, it isn't. It is not. Yeah.

I mean, and we even, I even had sort of the benefit of a college town, you know. And not that Illinois was some sort of bastion of, you know, liberal thought, but it certainly wasn't Southern Indiana, that's for sure. Yeah. but it certainly wasn't Southern Indiana, that's for sure. Yeah. I actually did look at, after I graduated college, I looked at Chicago as a potential place to move and start my career. And I also went to New York to see as well. And when I went to Chicago, I started improv in college.

And there was like a rival improv group. And all of their alum went to Chicago. And like every theater I went to, they were there. Like they were working the door of the IO. They were on stage at annoyance. And I was like, I can't be here.

Which is so dumb. It's so dumb. And it makes like, when you're adult, it doesn't matter. No one cares. Of course not. Yeah.

Yeah. What improv group you did in college. By the time I was like, this is not my city. And so I went to New York. Like your rival gangs or something. Yeah, yeah. A freeze tag battle or something for supremacy.

Yeah, they zip zap zopped me right out of the door. Yeah, that's even, but I can tell you when I was in Chicago, because I did stuff with different groups which was slightly unusual there weren't a lot of people that that dabbled like that but for me I had I just always had a sense that that that would be good for me to like you know you know learn from different teachers basically it seemed like real simple to me and you know and like because there was the io which was pretty down the middle of you know it's i mean it's improv and everything but it's still it's like you know that was it was kind of just off second city and second city was the most kind of like

let's make alderman jokes and mike did good jokes and you know like the real kind of yeah meat and potatoes kind of stuff that people would easily get. And I was just a little bit off that. And then the annoyance was like where all the gay drug takers were, you know, like, and so I would get shit from guys at IO. Like, what are you doing over there? Like, what are you, why are you over there with all those freaks and weirdos?

And I was like, I mean, I didn't say this, but I'm like, look, if you don't think we're freaks and weirdos to begin with, you know, I mean, what we're doing, you know? And also, hooray for freaks and weirdos. I was like, yeah, you know, they're the best. Yeah, we have a better perspective. Yeah, there was already that kind of tribalism, I guess, although that seems like way too highfalutin a word for it. So you, but it sounds like you were kind of, did you have any siblings by the way, I wonder? Oh yes.

Yeah, I have a little brother. He's seven years younger than me. Does he have a Star Trek name? He doesn't. His name's Braxton and my mom told me, I don't, I mean, I don't know if she told her husband this, my dad, but she said there was a handsome man in college named Braxton. And I thought it was such a strong name, so his name was Braxton. My parents divorced two years after he was born, so maybe she knew.

She was already, yeah, like – On the ass. Yeah, already thinking, hmm. What did she tell him? It was Tony Braxton? That was, you know – Maybe, yeah, like, already thinking, hmm. What did she tell him? It was Tony Braxton? That was, you know. Maybe, yeah. Is that her cover story?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tony, my favorite singer, Tony Braxton. Yeah. How about we name him Tony? No, no, no, no. No. No, no, no, no. That's a weak name, yeah.

So in school, were you, like, was it kind of, of we've always meant for this for performing and for comedy and if you ask people who i went to school with no i i was very shy i was a shy kid and i would whisper jokes to my friends they thought i was funny but like i don't think the outward people outside of my circle would know. Like I truly had family members as when I started doing comedy that were like, so when did you think you were funny? Like I never, never really picked that up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but I did love performing. I was like, I was in show choir. I was in orchestra. I was, what else did I do? I was on the debate team for a little bit. I was on show choir. I was in orchestra. I was, what else did I do?

I was on the debate team for a little bit. I was on the spelling team. I love being performative. I love being outward. But in my personal life, I was very reserved and to myself. Yeah. Don't you think that's a common thing, though? I think so, yeah.

But I think people assume that, like, the class clown or people who are who are like cracking jokes loudly are the ones that are going to pursue and that's also true as well that are going to pursue comedy later but uh yeah a lot of performers i know are are are shy in some sort or have some sort of solitude that they like yeah i still don't fully understand it because i have a bit of it like i'm i would consider myself kind of shy i mean i feel like it's a control thing. I think you get to like, yeah, I want to perform and yeah, I want to be looked at, but I want to control the, the situation when it happens, you know, which doesn't always work. But so, and do you think there was a difference between the girl that was singing at a restaurant tables and the girl that, you know, ended up being shy in high school?

Was there some, did puberty ruin it for you? Probably. Yeah. I mean, you know, you get, you get, that's an awkward age to be a part of and people are mean. I had bullies, not like terribly, but just girl bullies who do that psychological shit where they're like whispering, you know, you're ugly in your ear as they pass by or leaving notes on your locker and stuff like that. And yeah, so I definitely had self-esteem issues at that time. And even though there was like still that desire to perform and be big I think I thought I guess people wouldn't like that or I don't know I just was insecure about it so I made myself

small so there definitely was a a difference which sucks because he you know you could see that happen you see a child you know in their pure form and what they want to do and then life happens where they start listening to other outside factors and that changes who they are for a minute and then you have to undo all of that as an adult to get back to where you were yeah i have a 15 year old daughter and it definitely she was a wild child and then she reached an age where she just didn't want to be looked at by anybody and i completely you know i understand it's like okay you know and it's you know it changes you know over time it's but yeah there's just like that time where all of a sudden your emotions and your body just stop being your own and you just are like yeah don't look at me

you know i mean like you know like the transformation from from Brundle to Brundle fly, like in the middle of like, you know, like while you're transforming into a werewolf, you don't want people looking at you. Exactly. Yeah. Now, you went to you went to school in Virginia, correct? I went to college in Virginia. Yeah. University of Virginia. And what made you choose there? My dad lived in Richmond and I got in College of Virginia. Yeah. University of Virginia. And what made you choose there?

My dad lived in Richmond and I got in-state tuition. Oh, yeah. There you go. That was pretty. But also the campus was beautiful and it was just a really good school on paper. So I was like, and I also really wanted to get out of Indiana. I loved Indiana, but I wanted to see what else. I still had the travel bug. I still was used to leaving a place and exploring. So I didn't want to stay there. And yeah, and Virginia was

there and I'm glad I went. It was a really great experience. I still have friends that I made when I was there. I loved it. Did, uh, was it for theater? Did you go there for theater specifically? I went there just to go there. Yeah. I thought I was going to do journalism or communications or something like that because I thought I was going to be a broadcast journalist. And I shadowed one from Indiana and was like, you just have to wait for the news. I didn't love that there was no um not that there's no i don't i've never actually done it maybe there is some sort of creative aspect to it but i was like i want to create the stuff and you have to like wait for

things to happen and then report it back and that's kind of it and i think the thing i was attracted to was being on camera so i went to to UVA thinking, oh, maybe I'll try the journalism program. And I got there and there was no journalism program. That's how much, that's how little I looked it up. I was like, oh, there isn't one? Okay, well, I'll figure it out. That's so hilarious. It's like, well, maybe this chinese restaurant will have pizza

we'll find out when we get there yeah yeah we'll see when we get there um but yeah i i started doing plays and musicals and the people who are doing those things started auditioning for more plays in the drama program and i was like oh maybe maybe that's what i want to do and it just felt very natural and fun and then eventually i was like i think i should just change my major to theater and that's what i did and focused on that and my mom was like how are you gonna make money what are you doing that was my next question yeah um yeah i mean i think she ultimately she was supportive but she just was like what's the plan because there was there was an example of that in my family where someone has like dedicated their life to art so early like that so uh but i i believed i was like i have a

dream it's gonna happen i'll figure it out somehow. And yeah, ultimately, I also just want to do something that made me feel good and that was actually fun. And it was. Well, how about your dad? How did your dad feel about it? He, I think he was, I mean, he's kind of like, whatever. I mean, not whatever, but just like, I trust you to take care of you. And I think he was like, just glad I was calling, honestly.

He left when I was nine. And I think he's just like, I will support whatever because I'm just happy. That you're here and close. That you're here and you're healthy and close. And yeah, he also, I think he also was like, that makes sense. You were a performative child. So of course you want to do that now. Was it hard for him to stay local when you were a performative child so of course you want to do that now was it hard for him to stay local when you were younger i mean the air force was still kind of

dictating where he went we i i had to go see him so like during summers and christmas uh me and my brother would go see him in maryland and we like bounced back. But yeah, we didn't see him that often. We still, he was definitely still in our lives and we try to have phone calls and stuff like that. But yeah, it was a stark difference from when he was living in our household and wasn't the same town.

Yeah. Does that make it, was he sort of then the one that was more permissive than your mom because she was kind of the, the day toto-day. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, my mom had to be both parents. So, of course, she's going to have more of a disciplinary and, like, yeah, she's going to be the parent that's, like, making the hard calls.

Yeah. And is she still that way? I mean, do you still feel like you can do stuff that your dad will be fine with and your mom might i think now my mom's fully on board now i mean yeah i have a career right where i'm making money tv what more does she want just leave her alone yeah she's i mean and she's always been supportive. But I think I think she just was worried. She just wanted to know that I'd be OK and wanted to know I'd be able to self-sustain. And once she saw that I could, I think she was like, OK, I can breathe a little bit. And we talk to each other as adults. I think both my parents are like, you got it.

Like they're not, I'm not, they know I'm not looking to them for a yay or nay. They're just like, they trust that I got it. And that's how I feel too. Yeah. Yeah. About what point did, like, did your mom sort of calm down about it? Do you think? I really think when I got on SNL.

Yeah. Honestly, even though I was working a little bit before then, I think when I got on SNL, she was like, okay, yes, this is what this was all for. Great. Especially because like the triumphs, I'd be like, now I like get to perform every week on the stage at UCB. And she's like, are you getting paid for that? And I'm like, no, but it is still good. Right, right, right. I got a call back for this audition and that's great she's like did you get the part no but you know progress is happening yeah yeah yeah

can't you tell my loves are growing so was disney then that was like a summer job for you or did you go down there after you graduated it was was a it was a Disney college program. So I was there for a semester and a summer. And I thought I would work there after college. Like I was like, I'm in the family like they know me. And I saw a breakdown for a Tokyo Disney job for like a big band jazz singer, which I've never done. But I was like, I can do that. And that was my first New

York audition I was still in college and I took a Chinatown bus to to New Jersey and stay with my mom's friend and then took the train in to uh to New York City and it was in Ripley Greer Studios where I would end up later in life being there a lot for rehearsals and such but I was there and I I saw all these people like dressed to the nines and I was I knew there was a dance component so I I had yoga clothes on because I was like well we're dancing so why would I yeah have heels but I didn't know that you like dress up for the singing portion and you change for the dancing portion so I go in there with my yoga pants singing trying to sing a song uh i walk in i'm like konnichiwa and they're like oh my god we do not you're this 57th person who did that today for this damn tokyo disney job yeah

and uh and yeah it was like a fine audition i'm sure but they were just like okay thank you and then that was it but i was like sobbing in the streets of manhattan because it was like a fine audition, I'm sure. But they were just like, OK, thank you. And then that was it. But I was like sobbing in the streets of Manhattan because I was like, I didn't think of a backup plan. That was going to be my back. My one plan after college is to go to Tokyo and do this job. And now I don't know what I'm going to do. So, yeah. So, I mean, I'm back in the Disney family.

I'm now on an ABCc show but at the time i was like how could they do this to me yeah they know how much i dedicated during a semester and summer of my life so what what did you do then after uh after college did you head right to new york or no i went to maryland for a few months My stepmom was living there and I didn't want to live with my mom and I didn't want to live with my dad. And my stepmom and my dad had split by this time and I still considered her a third parent. So I was like, can I stay with you for a bit? And she said yes. So I did and it was nice, nice little reset.

I worked at Starbucks and did the artist way and tried to analyze what I wanted to do. And then eventually she was like, do you want to start paying rent here? And I was like, I'm going to go to New York. I decided this is the time. Yes. Because if I'm going to start paying rent, I should go to where I want to go. So moved to New York soon after. And, and yeah, I'm really glad I went when I went.

Cause it was like, I was broke as hell, but I, I did lots of different odd jobs to like make ends meet and it was fun. It was just a really fun time. I'm glad I spent my twenties in New York. Cause that's what you should be doing. I don't know if I have the energy for it now. Yeah, yeah. No, I agree.

It's a hard town to be broken to unless you're kind of young and don't care. You know, like you can sleep on a futon without having your back hurt or whatever, you know? Yeah, I can live in an apartment where I have no window in my bedroom. I was there for four years, which I still am i'm like what i had no window for four years yeah you know my roommates can be mice that's okay we'll we'll all figure it out together like did you move there solo did you know anybody i knew some people i had some college friends who moved there before i did um but that's it and i was just like but they had real jobs and i had one comedy friend uh from college who moved there but he also got there before i did and was kind of already in a different lane so i did have to start from scratch a little bit but i i found like a great community in ucb

and i still have best friends that I met when I first got to New York there. And yeah, it's, I feel very fortunate that I could find a community where I was like, these are like-minded people that I enjoy being around and they enjoy having me around and we can collaborate on things. And it's, it was, it felt very easy. It didn't feel like a struggle to define people there. I mean, do you become, does that open you up? Like, as opposed to the rest of your, you know, like that shy girl, does she kind of

go away a little bit more because of that? Because you're around like-minded people? Yeah. I think, I think maybe finding, yeah, because they're like-minded, I was like, oh, I can recognize this. Like, you are also socially awkward. But in these environments, you thrive. And that is how I feel as well. Yeah.

And so we can, like, feed on each other's energy and support each other. Right, right. And what were some of the odd jobs that you had when you were there? Like, did you, did you transfer your Starbucks, your Starbucks employment? I tried.

I really tried. Cause that was like part of the reason you take the job. Cause you should, you can transfer to other locations. And so I was planning on doing that. And I got to New York and they were like, Oh, we're on a hiring freeze for the year.

They were like, we just are not hiring anyone in New York because we have too many baristas. And so that's another plan. I yeah. And this also this is a period of my life where I was like, I guess I need plan B's. Like I just will bank on one plan and be like, oh, I didn't work well. I have no idea what I'm going to do. one plan and be like oh it didn't work well i have no idea what i'm gonna do um so i i saw in like a newsweek article michelle obama was talking about public allies which is a branch of americor

which is like the peace corps but in america yeah it's like a service program and i was like that sounds cool and i looked it up and there were jobs that were in the arts that seemed really cool. So I applied and got it. And I, that was something I did for like almost a year and I was able to get like healthcare. I was able to get food stamps and, and also some money. It wasn't a lot of money, but it was enough to sustain me for a little bit. Um, I wanted to quit so many times because I, I worked at, um, a community development organization in Bed-Stuy and I had an office that also had no window so that I would leave my house when it was dark and not see the sunlight, go to work, not have a window, leave, and it would be dark. Like I would just not. Get sunshine for, yeah. Not getting any sunshine.

And the organization, the goals were great, but it was run by the same people who like started in the 70s. And so the concept of like a Facebook page or like, you know, doing outreach online was not really welcomed. So I was kind of discouraged there. And so I wanted to quit. And I'm thankful that I had a I had a team manager from AmeriCorps who pretty much taught me how to quit things. He was like, you can't just leave. You have to like at least talk to the other party and like figure out what's going on. Is there a solution? And I was like, I can't just leave. Like, why can't I just leave? I don't like it

here. I want to leave. And he's like, no, no, we have to like figure out what's going on. So we did that. And we would like have meetings to figure out what was, you know, what my issues were and like, if there's a solution and then if my needs weren't met, then we'll address it again. And, and I still felt like my needs weren't met. And I was like, okay, now I really am quitting. And he's like, but you're almost done. And don't you want a stipend at the end? You get a stipend, which I use to help pay off my student loans. And I was like, yeah, I do want that.

So I did stay the whole time. But I am appreciative for that experience because I do feel like it helped me figure out how to communicate my needs in in many other situations like it's a very transferable skill that i could take to any job or relationship or oh really and and have you done that with like with like romantic relationships that same kind of you know like i mean yeah i mean it's the same kind of concept of like you know something's not working let's address it before just saying peace out bye yeah yeah you know i'm not saying there's i've never done that in a relationship but i mean but i just come sometimes you know it's just like sometimes you're just like it's just i just we

don't need to talk yeah i don't want to talk yeah i just want to yeah yeah i just want to go and i want you to go but if it's a valuable relationship, even a friendship, I like to be forthcoming with what I think could be worked on and hope that it's well received. But I, and I know I appreciate that too, when people communicate what they need from me, as opposed to just leaving or ghosting or whatever. I think it's, yeah, that felt like it was helping me be an adult, basically, instead of the kid I was. When you mentioned therapy before, had you been in therapy at this point? Like, had you done any therapy?

Yeah, I did a bit of counseling in college. But I don't know if that was like a real therapist or just like someone training. Yeah, yeah. No, usually it's somebody. Yeah, but I went through the student health program to get some counseling. And then when I moved to New York, I think in like 2013 or 14, I got a therapist, which she was recommended by another comedian. And I did like with anything you do get some something out of the experience. But she did end up being pretty bad and unprofessional and manipulative, which really sucks.

pretty bad and unprofessional and manipulative, which really sucks. Um, yeah. Cause we, I was seeing her twice a week, which for me was too much. I didn't want to do, uh,

she wants her program that she was doing. She wanted to see you in person individually and then do a group session with other people at night. And I said, I can't do the group sessions. I do stand up at night. I just, it won't work with just don't i don't want to do it and so uh she was like well then you should see me individually twice a week which was way too much because then i'm like seeing her tuesday and then i see her thursday and i'm like kind of rehashing the

same like nothing has really changed in between so You got to have a really busy Wednesday to make Thursday pay off. Yeah, exactly. So after a while, I was like, this feels like a lot. And I kind of want to take it down to once a week. I had friends that are doing once a week and that's what I would like. And she said no. And I was like, oh, all right. And my friends were like, no, she shouldn't be saying no to you.

You are the client. Like you can set the parameters that you want. And I was like, oh, all right. And my friends were like, no, she shouldn't be saying no to you. You are the client. Like you can, you can set the parameters that you want. And I was like, I don't know, maybe it's like her program that she does. And so I was still seeing her twice a week. And then I was like, okay, no, I actually really want to do once a week. This seems like too much. I feel like I'm wrecking myself in the middle of the week, every week. And, and and we fought about it like we got in a fight and i left really upset and then she texted me it was like okay i guess we can try once a week and i was like okay and then she was like but isn't it good that we got in a fight because you wanted to be more assertive and i was like but i don't want to fight with you i don't feel like that didn't feel like a like lesson that she was teaching me. I just felt like she was fighting me. And it came up again when I wanted to take a break. I was gonna be touring during the summer. And I was like, let's take a break because I don't like doing phone sessions.

I like being in person and seeing the person's face. And I felt good at that point. So I was like, let's take a break for like a couple months. And then when I come back, we'll like reassess the schedule. And we got in the fight again. And I think maybe she was dealing with some abandonment issues or something. There was like some sort of codependency there that was not healthy. And I said that out loud, which really set her off because she was like, I'm not dependent. I don't need you. I have so many clients.

And I was like, then why are you upset that I want to take a break? And she was, and oh, the line she said was like, I don't take breaks. I'm not your boyfriend. And I was like, what the fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can take a break if I want to. I'm the one paying for this. Right.

And then she like, I was like leaving the room and she goes, fine, go leave. You'll be just like your father, which is nuts. That's when I was like, oh, okay. I feel very validated in this decision to leave. Like you are crazy. Yeah. And so unprofessional. And like, and that really like rocked me for years because, and I didn't realize it because I trusted this person.

Like I put my brain and my emotions in her hands and then she did that. And so I knew I wanted another therapist, but it took me years to find another therapist because I was scared. And I knew that that wouldn't happen again. Or like, I just knew that that was like a very unlikely situation, but I couldn't get my actions to match what my brain was thinking. Yeah.

But now I'm with another therapist that I like and trust. Yeah. I've been with the same therapist for, I don't even want to say, you know, 20, at least 25 years. That's amazing. Yeah. And I'm a huge advocate for therapy and talk about it a lot on this podcast and elsewhere. But it is, you know, you're expressing one of the things because it is like, it's not magical. Like, you've got to get the right person.

And that's what's really hard. And like, you know, with my kids, it's, you know, my kids have at different points needed therapy and needed help. And, and it's hard because you just don't know, you don't know if you're going to get, you know, it's like anything you hire a mechanic, it might be a shitty mechanic, you know, and then you find a good one, you hold on to them, you know, and, and you can have somebody. And I also think it's interesting too, because I mean, and I don't want to get into a whole political, I mean, I'm just using this as like a, as like a, a metaphorical thing, but you know, like there's lots of, like, I think a lot of people are drawn to police work because they're interested in crime.

You know what I mean? And then there's kind of like, then you get these corrupt cops because that, but there was something about the whole tension between crime and law that attracts them and i think there's a lot of crazy people that are drawn to to to psychiatry or psychology because they're like i'm fucking nuts and this is sort of like you know like this is this is like you know that's that this person's in the business of being nuts or of like curing nuts. And and you get some real maniacs sitting across the room from you, you know, that are getting paid to supposedly help you with your issues. Yeah.

Yeah. It's hard to believe. Like, oh, yeah, they're human, too. Yeah. Also showed up with whatever litany of issues they already had before I met them. Yeah. And I think sometimes too, then like, you know, if something of your neuroses sort of go along with their neuroses, they're going to give you the bad fix that they did for their neuroses.

And it's hard when you're the one that's in there needing help, wanting help to know like, oh, I'm being led down the wrong path here. Yeah. You know, it's real. There's, you know, it's like there needs to be like a consumer advocacy group just for bad therapists, I think. Yeah, that's actually a great idea.

It's great that it didn't put you off the process. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because like just that starting that process of rather than just cut your losses and run that this person at your work did, you know, talk about it. Like that's, you know, talk about it is such a gigantic thing that a lot of people don't want to do. And you encounter so many people that don't want to do that. They're terrified of therapy. And it's like, well, what's so hard about talking?

You know, you just, it's just talking. They're just words, you know? Yeah. I think they, cause they probably just deep down know that they have to address something

they don't want to address. Like there's something they subconsciously want to avoid. And if they start talking about it, it might come out or they'll have to actually deal with it. And it's just easier to push things down and tuck it away, lock it in a closet, not even think about it anymore. Yeah, until it all comes exploding out like a cartoon cuckoo clock. Actually, I just started watching The Sopranos.

Yeah. You know, we got time. What the fuck else are you going to do? And I didn't realize – one, I didn't realize it was funny. I thought it was going to be like a Godfather kind of show. It's like a very funny show. It's like 60% comedy. Yeah.

Yeah. Breaking Bad, I always felt the same way. Breaking Bad is – you know, it's – Brian Cranston's in that because he's a gifted comedian. Like that's why he's so good in that, you know? Yeah. You need that. You need that duality. But I just love the idea of this mobster going to therapy and like feeling feeling guilty about some things, but completely not about other things. And like truly screaming at his therapist every week and then coming back the next week being like okay i have more to say yeah yeah yeah can't you tell my loves are growing you are a stand-up comedian

too when did you start doing stand-up because Because, you know, you were show choir, theater, and then stand-up. That doesn't always, you know, like that's not always a natural progression. A natural progression. Yeah, yeah. I started when I first moved to New York. I kind of started everything at the same time. Yeah. Because I thought I was going to do Broadway shows.

I, like, was auditioning for stuff. I was trying. But, like, that's a hard haul to get into theater in New York. do Broadway shows. I like was auditioning for stuff. I was trying, but like it was, that's a hard haul to get into theater in New York. I commend anyone who's actually making it and doing it. And even if you're not making it, I commend you for even trying, but like,

I just didn't have the stamina to do all these additions every day and like wait outside of a building at 7am and sit on a wooden bench, hoping that they'll see me today. And, but I would keep going to UCB to watch shows. And I was like, oh, this feels good. And so I started taking classes. And then in my classes, there were some people that were like, oh, I'm trying stand-up. And it terrifies me.

And I do have a part of myself that likes doing scary stuff. So I was like, I'll try stand-up too. Yeah, yeah. And it's actually funny. I went to a government camp in high school. part of myself that likes doing scary stuff. So I was like, I'll try stand up too. Yeah. Yeah. And, um, it's actually funny. I, I went to a government camp in high school. Wow. That sounds, that sounds bad. A government camp. I loved it. I loved it. It was, uh, it sounds like, sounds like, you know, like a Japanese internment camp. Oh yes. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no. This was like learning about, I know, I know. Yeah. Studentment camp. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. No, this is like learning about.

I know. I know. Yes, student government camp. I know what you mean, but it's, you know. Oh, God. Yeah. No, no. But part of the, we had basically a microcosm of the governmental system and you could run

for office. So I ran for lieutenant governor and I would have to give speeches to win people over. And that was my favorite part is writing these speeches and giving them. And I remember I put like a joke at the top of one of them. There was like a rickety elevator in one of the dorms that we were staying in. And I was like, you better vote for me before you die in this elevator in Winkum Hall. And people were like, ah, like people lost their mind and then for the rest of the speech people were laughing even though I didn't write any more jokes but I

think maybe my cadence I don't know but people thought I was funny and afterwards people were like you should do something where you like talk in front of people and like make them laugh but like no one knew that like stand up was a job like no one knew that like stand-up was a job like no one knew to think like to say that there's like something where you're making words happen and people are laughing at you you'll figure it out bye but i i didn't know yeah i didn't know that stand-up was a thing i could try to do but once i was doing comedy in new york i was like oh yeah there's there are mics everywhere. I could just go to an open mic and try.

And I found an open mic. I'm pretty sure it was Stand Up New York. And I didn't tell any of my friends that I was doing this. I just wrote some jokes, went by myself, and tried them out. And I can't even remember what they were about. They were just very observational, not personal at all. But just like, here are things I'm observing in New York. And then I sat down next to another woman and she

was like, that was really good. And I was like, thanks. That was my first time. And she was like, I couldn't even tell. And I was like, this is my future. This is where I belong. And yeah. And since then, I was like, I'm just gonna keep hitting this hard and, and try to figure out how to make it good. Like I, the stage presence thing, wasn't a thing I needed to work on. I feel like there's some people who are like really good at writing immediately and they need to work on like the confidence on stage. I've been performing forever. So that part I had, and so i needed to learn how to write what was in my brain and form it in ways that'll make people understand it and and laugh and

i and i loved that it was like it was fun it's a fun yeah yeah it's like a puzzle it's like a puzzle joke writing is like it's like a word puzzle yeah now did you as you're doing stand-up you know you mentioned the difference between observational and personal. Do you think that you've developed, I mean, of course you have, but I mean, are you able to articulate what kind of your personal point of view of your comedy is? Like, are there subjects that you're drawn to? Are there, you know, are there issues you keep coming back to? My work is very personal now. And I think because it's personal, it does center around being a woman and being black in America.

So I do find my material, it keeps coming back to those topics. And I got labeled as a political comedian because of it, which is fine. But I don't actually talk about politics. I guess social politics. Yeah. Personal politics. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But it's interesting that just like talking about like, you know, women's rights is political. Or, or, you know, just things that I've experienced as a black person is, is political. But yeah, I, I, I like talking about that stuff because there are people in the audience who maybe never talked to somebody who looks like me or has experienced the things I've experienced or, or people who have and want to relate to somebody and want to feel

a connection with the person who's on stage. And yeah, I, I feel very fortunate that I can be in a field where I can truly just be narcissistic as hell, just talk about myself and people like that yeah yeah and and want to connect to it um yeah are there is it sometimes hard to make that funny you know is it you know because sometimes it's that's my i mean i'm not a political I don't do much in the way of political humor because I don't find, I just find some of it so not funny, you know, it's worth talking about and worth thinking about, but it's not like, I'm not going to like go like hardy har, you know, QAnon hardy har, you know, it's, there's just like a lot of scary shit out there, especially now. And hardy har, you know, there's just like a lot of scary shit out there, especially now.

Yeah. I mean, there's still stuff that I, there's a lot of stuff I haven't talked about because I don't actually find it funny. Yeah. Or I don't know what the funny in it is yet. Yeah, yeah. So I just won't address it. I try, when I write something, the kernel is usually from like a personal experience or something that confuses me or angers me or whatever. And then sometimes it turns into something that is talking about race or what's going on in the news or whatever. I had an experience where I went to a restaurant and I asked the waitress if they had any pineapple there. And

she goes, oh, we don't have any pineapple, but we have real apple. And it like sent me down an existential crisis. I was like, what? Now I have a million questions. Absolutely. And so then I started researching why is pineapple called pineapple is it even related to apples and then and now i have this like 15 minute joke that like turn into uh you know story and historical references about colonialism yeah yeah i was just gonna say i bet you there's something colonial in there yeah absolutely but it started with a real life experience where i was confused by this woman who thought apples and pineapples were related.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. And I think, you know, anyone else could probably take that kernel of an experience into a different direction. But I think because my brain works the way it does, I want to, like, find the history and find the backstory of something and see how it connects to today because that's fun for me. Right. But yeah, it is like a puzzle. Not to make you do your act, but I'm just curious, why is it called pineapple? I know I could Google it after we're done, but I, you know, you're right, Kim.

You might as well tell me. It's Christopher Columbus. Oh, really? He found a freaking pineapple in South America and he just pretty much jumbled the words that he knew. Like, oh, it's spiky like a pine tree, and it's sweet like an apple. Yeah, like a pine tree. Pineapple. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. And that's like, pine trees weren't there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it only made sense to people in North America, but you just truly took someone else's fruit and renamed it. And then like I go on a whole thing of like I'm tired of us having to call things the wrong thing because some settler was too lazy to figure out the actual name for the thing. But yeah, it's just because some European found it. And pineapples were like a status thing in Europe. Yeah. Like you were so rich that you had resources in your backyard to grow pineapples.

Or you owned a plantation in South America. Right. And people could ship you pineapples. So if you even had them, it was like, oh, she's wealthy. Yeah. There's a thing in the movie The Favorite where I think Emma Stone's character is like, I'm eating something called a pineapple. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I bet that was like – It's like the new iPhone. Yeah. Oh, this new fruit just dropped. Right. Well, I know growing up in Illinois, getting a pineapple that wasn't in a can seemed magical. So I can only imagine what it was like in you know 1700s england to get a pineapple they also were you know they're like a design characteristic that was meant to i just know this

because i'm queenie uh that were meant to be like a hospitality you know like you'll see at the at the tops of like sort of colonial architecture doors, like there's like a carved pineapple and it was meant to be like, oh, this place is classy. They got those fake apples. Now you got a new show. Tell us about it. Yes, I'm on Home Economics uh it's a it's a family comedy it's a sitcom about three families with one in one larger family and each family has a varying degree of economic status there's like a very rich uh one percent brother there's a

middle class writer brother and then there's a starving artist uh sister and i am married to the broke sister so we're in the in the broke family um but it's nice it's it's a fun way to talk about money and relationships because there are definitely shows that showcase different families in different economic levels. But to show the comparison, I think, is a really interesting way to talk about this. Because, I mean, I think a lot of people can relate, like, just, you know, going to restaurants with their family or going to vacations or whatever. You know, money's going to come up, and it's not always, it's not fun or sexy to talk about.

And so I think, I think this is a cool way to do that and, and show the love that can still thrive when people have varying degrees of, of money. Now it's, is it a single camera? It doesn't have a studio camera. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And have you been shooting through the pandemic where it did it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We shot the pilot last fall um in like september this all this all started this started this job mid pandemic yeah well i actually got the job pre-pandemic we were supposed to shoot last march and then of course everything got shut down and so so yeah abc is kind of like sitting on it or like, you know, like we're hoping that we can shoot this one day. And then in the fall, they're like, okay, I think we can make it safe enough that we can shoot. And then we shot the pilot, found out we were getting picked up for seven episodes like shortly after.

And then we started shooting in, well we just finished actually we kind of just finished like a few few weeks ago um yeah we did seven episodes they edited it while we were shooting it and it's airing now now wow that's great yeah yeah and people are saying really nice things about it and i hope people like it enough and want to see more of us and hope we get a second season. We'll see. I think we'll know pretty soon, actually. I think we'll know in like May or something. But yeah, watch it on ABC and then watch it on Hulu because it goes to Hulu right after.

Well, now, what's your dream come true? If you're going to aim high, what is it? And it doesn't have to be a work thing, too. It could be, you know. It could be. We mentioned before the show that, you know, you might want to live on a farm someday with lots of animals. Yeah. Yeah, I do.

I actually, I watched Eartha Kitt documentary recently. I think it was all by myself, the Eartha Kitt story. And she's kind of secluded in this very like green oasis of her home. And, you know, she hangs out with her daughter, but like she was mostly alone and she just like went to the city, like teach dance whenever she wanted.

She performed whenever she wanted. She would do charity events and stuff. And this was like, I don't know how old she was exactly but this was like in the 80s i guess um but yeah she was older and later in her career but she just seemed really content and i was like i want that i want i want to just like frolic to my garden whenever I want, like give people spinach and apples if I have extra and like work whenever I feel like it, do things I enjoy, be around people that make me happy. And yeah, that's the goal. I want to work really hard as long as I can, but I also want to like sit down eventually and enjoy the space that I'm in and enjoy this life that I've created. Is that solitude important to you that, that, that same one that she had or?

I think so. Yeah. I do really like myself. I mean, it doesn't mean I don't want people around me in my life, but my circle is small and I do like having people I trust come into it. And keeping the bullshit out. That's yeah that's nice uh uh yeah that's a good a good uh a good aim i think is a green a green place to hide out that's a that's a good way to look at it yeah yeah yeah i get you know the the final of the three questions is what what have you learned? And I mean, is there, I don't know, you probably get, I think everybody that gets to be paid to be a performer gets that.

What advice do you have? You know, and I hate, I have to ask this over and over, so I keep trying to rephrase it, but it is kind of the same thing. Yeah. Well, I kind of have an answer for both those things all right i guess if i did give advice and also what i've learned is that i keep getting rewarded for the work that i put out there so like the work that i do and the and the ways i put my voice out in front of an audience, that's when I get the next job or that that's when I get the next opportunity as opposed to like, I don't know. I like not having to wait for, for work. If I, if work's not here,

I can create something. I mean, ideally, like I, ideally I can create something and someone will pay me for it, but you know, no one's gonna stop me from writing. No one's gonna stop me from trying to get on stage. No one's gonna, I can create something and someone will pay me for it. But, you know, no one's going to stop me from writing. No one's going to stop me from trying to get on stage. There's no barrier to those types of things. No one's going to stop me from making a video, et cetera. So it's in those moments when I do create something, that's when someone's like, oh, yes, she does this kind of thing. Great, we'll put her over here. Or like, you know, it's easier for people to see what I can do and where they can fit me in because I'm literally telling them.

I'm literally telling you, this is my voice. And that is also the advice I give to people, too, is like write your own stuff. Right, right. Yeah. Active versus passive, I think, is a good way to put it. And I also want to make sure because, well, first of all,

thank you so much for doing this. Uh, I appreciate you taking the time and, but I also want to make sure to, uh, plug the podcast that you and Nicole Byer do together, which is so great and so fun. And it really is like,

it's so nice to hear. It's, uh, I forget the name. It's best friends, best friends. Right. Um, I don't have any, so I don't, it's a nice to hear. I forget the name. Best friends. Best friends, right. I don't have any, so I don't. It's a phrase that slips my mind.

No, but what's so great about it is it's just two people that genuinely love each other and join each other's company. You know, that's really a lot of fun. And it's always fun to hear. I've listened a few times, and it's fun to hear you guys discover things about each other that you don't know. Yeah, we've known each other for like 12 years. She's one of the friends I made at UCB and first people I met in New York. And yeah, we keep discovering new things, which is really funny. But yeah, it's just like easy to talk to her.

And I feel it's another job that I'm thankful I had throughout the pandemic where it's like, I enjoy doing this and people enjoy consuming it. And thank God for that. Somebody to talk to. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, I get to talk to her every week. Thank God.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have a reason to see each other. But yeah, I love it. And I love highlighting friendships. Like, you know, there's so many things to talk about. Romantic relationships or being a parent or, you know, your family. But like friendship is also a huge part of people's lives, ideally. Or the lack of friendship is also a huge part of people's lives.

And yeah, I like that we get to share ours and people get to feel like they're a part of it. Listen to it. Best friends. Tune in. I mean, listen to this podcast a little bit more. Listen to them concurrently. But Sashir Sameda, thank you so much for spending some time with us and for answering this, you know, my interrogation. Yes. And we will be back next week with more of The Three Questions. Thank you for listening. Bye. Bye.

I've got a big, big love for you. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco and Your Wolf production. It is produced by Lane Gerbig, engineered by Marina Pice, and talent produced by Kalitza Hayek. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.