The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Sona Movsesian: Weird Bosses (The Andy Richter Call-In Show)

Episode Date: October 11, 2024

Sona Movsesian returns to The Andy Richter Call-In Show this week to talk WEIRD BOSSES! Of course, they discuss their shared weird boss: Mr. Conan O'Brien. In this episode of Andy’s weekly SiriusXM radio show, we hear stories about bosses who bring swords to work, bosses with disgusting habits, a clever method for getting revenge on a mean boss, and (in classic Andy Richter Call-In Show fashion) one particularly disgusting boss story.Want to call in? Fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER or dial 855-266-2604.This episode previously aired on SiriusXM’s Conan O’Brien Radio (ch. 104). If you’d like to hear these episodes in advance, new episodes premiere exclusively for SiriusXM subscribers on Conan O’Brien Radio and the SiriusXM app every Wednesday at 4pm ET/1pm PT.

Conan O'Brien Radio! Conan O'Brien Radio! Hi everybody! It's me, Andy Richter. This is the Andy Richter call-in show. It's the show where you call in and you talk to Andy Richter. But not just Andy Richter. Not today. I mean, it's not, I always have a guest host. Because I get very lonely. And my guest host today, again, we brought her back. We had somebody else book. They crapped out on us. I honestly would have you every week week I saw the topic and I thought you guys were like let's get some absolutely that was Sean Daugherty my producer somebody else's in they had to cancel and then

he's like yeah but because the topic today is weird bosses and he was like so nasa natural because you know we have that in common we do we have that in our Armenian heritage yes oh man so much in common we do we have a lot in common yeah so Sonam Obsessian is here today yeah you know Conan's new sidekick I like to think of myself as like a co-host but I don't think he would ever call me a co-host. No, I don't think he would either. Also, the fact that I don't do anything during the interviews themselves means that I'm just featured on. Right.

Yeah. Well, you're very good at, and I've always told you this, like when you would come and do stuff on the show too, you just have a natural, a very natural presence. You know who you are and you don't let circumstances shake you from that. And that's a very valuable thing. You do, I think you're like that too.

Well thank you. And you're funny and sweet and wonderful. Oh that's so nice. That too. Thank you. So yeah, no, I was happy to have you on. It was just, it felt like you had just been on like not too long ago. Oh you know, I have nothing going on. It was just, it felt like you had just been on like not too long ago.

Oh, you know, I have nothing going on. We're not, like Conan's in New Zealand. You and me too, baby. Oh, that's right, he's in New Zealand. I've got nothing, when he's gone, I just don't have anything. I mean, I guess my kids, my kids. Mommy, I'm hungry.

Mommy, it's cold out here in the car. Oh, I forgot I'm out there. Yeah. Again. I think the funniest part about that is it being cold in the car, because it's hot as balls. I know, I know.

Today's really hot. Oh my God. It's stupid hot. It's so, I love it though. Do you, you like the cold weather probably, because you're from- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't, I don't like it cold, cold. I become pussified enough by California that like,

you know, like a number of years ago, I was back in Chicago in like February and it snowed and I was like, okay, this is stupid. This is just a fucking, this is like, this isn't an insult. Like this is God insulting us. Like there's no Christmas charm to this snow. It's just gross. an insult, like this is God insulting us. Like there's no Christmas charm to this snow,

it's just gross. It snowed in Chicago? Oh, I know, I know, I know. But no, so, but I definitely do like it when it's, like I, like when there's a little Seattle weather here, I love it. Like a balmy 60. Yeah, or like, or even, you know, like 70.

Like if it's 70 and kind of gray, I'm all over that. I love that. I need sunshine in like 95. Oh, yeah, that's too hot. I know, but I just need it. I need it, I need it. I sweat too much. Me too.

I don't care. I sweat too much. I'm like John Goodman in an old Roseanne episode, just constantly wet wig from all the face sweating. I hate it. I played Tim Walz on Kimmel on Monday. And I had a bald head, you know, skinhead bald head wig on which I hadn't had in years. And it's a condom on your head.

So it does not breathe at all. So on the top of my head, I was just sweating like crazy. And it sealed up all the way around. They did a great job, amazing makeup. I think it was Cece and Cindy is their name. But there's like a little hole above the ear. And when I would bend down to pick something up, like a stream of drips of sweat would pour out.

Like it was coming off a gutter off a roof. Drip, drip, drip. So I was just like holding sweat on my head all day in a big rubber bag. What was it like when you took it off? When they took it off? It was nice relief. Was it so wet?

Oh no, I mean, yeah, my head was wet. My hair was wet, but it was like my hair was just wet. It wasn't nice relief. And was it so wet? Oh no, I mean it was, yeah, my head was wet. My hair was wet, but it was like my hair was just wet. It wasn't like terrible. But I had, I noticed like two days later, I still had gum in my eyebrows. Like I still had spirit gum in my eyebrows. I haven't done that kind of makeup stuff in a long time.

It's like, it's a lot. Doesn't it take hours? This took, yeah, this probably took an hour to get on. But like, maybe... And this was just a bald cap. This is a bald cap, but then they gotta paint it all. Oh yeah. And there's a wig that goes on,

and they had to glue the wispy hair on top, and the eyebrows, and then it was like, make me redder than I normally am, because he's kind of ruddy. Is he red? A little bit, I guess, that's what they said. Oh, okay, I don't know. I have no idea. Yeah, he's red because he's kind of ruddy. Is he red? A little bit, I guess. That's what they said. Oh, OK. I don't know.

I have no idea. Yeah, he's red because he's a commie. It's a fucking commie is what he is. So anyway, weird bosses. Yes. Bad bosses. Bad or weird? Well, we said weird, but bad is good, too.

I'll take that. I will say Conan is not, he's weird. He's a weird boss. He's weird. Yeah, you guys have a very unique relationship because- So do you guys. You both, yes, definitely. Yes. Yeah, we do too.

Yeah. And, but like you guys too, you, and I mean you've joked about this and you wrote a whole book about it. Uh, like you did stuff that would have gotten you fired from anyone else and he did stuff that would have gotten you fired from anyone else, and he did stuff that would have gotten him sued by anyone else. Like you guys' relationship is one of the most healthy, dysfunctional relationships I've ever been around.

I think that he does a really great job of creating an environment where you're like, almost hoping he makes fun of you. Does that make sense? It's like a badge of honor for the people who work for him. He's an insult comic. Yes. Not completely, but that is definitely a big part

of being around him. You don't see it so much on camera. You do kinda, sometimes it'll leak out, like when he does stuff with Jordan Schlansky, for instance. Yeah. But he's really good. Like he does play like a character of like a genius

surrounded by buffoons. Like he, and you know, and you know, you know that that's because in his, you know, of the eight different personalities that he is. Like one of them is a genius that's surrounded by buffoons. Like idiots, you know. That's so true. Yeah.

I mean, it reminds me of the pre-show meetings we would have where we talked about the monologue. And he would sometimes go on these runs of jokes and stuff. And you're like, no one can ever see this. But it's brilliant. But also, something is so deeply unhinged about his brain. It's just broken. It is one of the things that why he and I love each other

and why we worked well together and why I was his TV wife for all those years is because we both, we don't really care that much where we are, we're still gonna be having fun and doing bits. That's true. And I mean, and that's just, and the fact that it's kind of,

the fact that sort of the stuff that ends up on camera is arguably not like the A material. Like the A material is the shit that we do behind the scenes. Yeah, that's true. And it's the shit that would get us arrested. It's the darkest, weirdest shit that was just like would not would not play on camera but it's like but that's like I don't know that's the best part of my life you know is that and that was the best part of that job and one thing

I really miss is not getting to go and just play all day. Yeah. You get paid to be silly. Yeah and there's a lot of bullshit and there's a lot of bullshit, and there's a lot of stress, and there's a lot of, you know, people getting sick of each other, and people getting crabby, and, you know, and just general workplace stuff. But it's really still pretty funny. Yeah, I think so. And pretty fun, yeah.

It's funny that you mention that, because, like, I remember those moments where things were really stressful. But it's kind of like, I mean, you wouldn't know this, but after giving birth, if a lot of time goes by, you forget how uncomfortable you are and how awful it was. It's a preservation, a survival technique. Yeah, you remember the good parts of it.

And I only remember, when I look back on it, I'm only fond of it. Yeah. But you know, there were so many moments, because we worked on a TV show. Yeah. There were so many moments where like shit was happening. Yeah, and you and he would go through days

of not speaking to each other. Yeah, we did. Which is not, it doesn't work well when your assistant won't speak to you. Wait, I was his assistant, Andy. How does that make any sense? I don't know. What, that's so stupid. I don't know? I don't know.

That's so stupid. I don't know. I don't want to. I also don't want to say it like because it truly was a give and take because he needed you. He needs someone that he can just pummel with bits. Yes. And there and that there's not a lot of people.

You know, everyone's like, oh, he's so funny. I want to be around him. But no, it's a whole different thing when you have to get the double barrel blast of him for 10, 11 hours a day. Yeah, I think so. I think when, there were moments looking back on it where I was like, if I reacted a little differently

to making a joke about like, you know, me speaking Armenian or me, you know, doing something. Or your parents, you know parents having goat children or whatever. Yeah. What? He never said anything about goat children. Maybe that's just me.

I thought some of your siblings were goats. No, no, they're not goats. I might be thinking, yeah. Might be thinking of somebody from Glendale that I know. But yeah, I think, I mean, what I do know is that if he'll have me, I will work for Conan until he dies. Yeah, yeah. I'm just going to ride those coattails forever.

And I'm not ashamed of it. I think before I was like, oh, I wonder what life would be beyond this. But I mean, you also know about his dad. His dad worked till he was like 90. Yep. And I think that's just in Conan's bones. I think so too. And I'm like, all right, you're gonna be 90, I'll be like 70, and I'll just-

He's a pretty healthy guy, yeah. And he definitely needs the outlet. Like, having to stay home during COVID was deadly for him. Could you imagine him retiring? Oh no. I mean, I look forward to retirement. His poor family, his poor family. I just wanna retire now.

No, me too. Listen, I'd said to Jeff. His poor family. I just wanna retire now. No, me too. I would, listen, I said to Jeff Ross, who's our executive producer, years ago, like in the 90s, we were talking about winning the lottery and I said, if I won the lottery, you might never see me again. And he was like, ha ha ha. And I was like, I'm not fucking kidding.

I don't need any of this. Like if I had a good income and a nice place to live, you know, yeah I'll bake fucking bread that I give to the birds. I don't care I'd be fine. You know, do you remember that guy? You probably don't cuz I only there's a reason why I would remember it But a couple years ago someone won the Powerball and it was like one point something billion dollars years ago, someone won the Powerball, and it was like 1 point something billion dollars. They bought the ticket in a gas station

down the street from my house. Oh, wow. Yeah, in Altadena. Wow. I know. And I pass by that gas station every day, and it has a sign that says, billionaire made here. Yeah, yeah.

And I was like, I was thinking that too. I'm like, if I won that, if I just went in that one day, bought that ticket, and won, I'm like, if I won that, if I just went in that one day, bought that ticket and won, I don't think I would ever move off the couch. I mean. It'd be a really nice couch though. It'd be a real nice couch. It does.

All right, let's go to the callers. That's why we're here. It's in the name of the show. It's the Andy Richter Call-In Show. We're live today. We're talking weird bosses. Our number is 855-266-2604. 855-266-2604. If you got a weird boss story or a bad boss story or, you know, an evil boss story, give us a call. We'll take it. boss story, give us a call. We'll take it.

We're looking for content here, just like everyone else. And we have all day, literally all day. Oh, I don't have all day. Oh, shit. Oh, okay, sorry. I don't either, I have a big meeting after this. Oh, do you? I don't know, Andy, I just heard it got canceled.

It's a late lunch. Let's go to the phones, Emily from Minneapolis. Hi there. Don't you know? Hi Emily. Thanks for calling in. It's Andy and Sona here. You betcha. You betcha. Hi Emily. Oh my god I'm so happy to be talking to you guys. I just have to say I love the Conan podcast, Andy Richter, I love your Three Questions podcast. Oh, thank you. But yeah, okay, so it's funny though, Sona, like ride those coattails like forever

because I am currently unemployed and I've been on the same part of my couch for, it's probably been like three days now. So it's, you know. Is it like Norman Bates' mother's mattress? Like there's a hollow for your ass on it? Yeah, pretty much. Oh my god, it's rough out there. But okay, anyway, the reason I called in is because I worked for a very famous ice cream shop

on the East Coast. I'm in Minnesota, but it's an East Coast ice cream shop. Anyway, I had a boss there who was like a middle-aged man and he liked to survey the women that would come in, and you know, whatever. I'm like, this is like when I was like out of high school, but like before I went to college, so like a very like small window of time.

Yeah, so it's still creepy to be sexual around you. Yeah. It is, it's just, I mean, it's always a little bit creepy, but that's even, like you're on the cusp of child to woman. Keep it in your pants, manager of the Carvel or the Friendlies. Oh my God, yeah. I mean, oh God, okay, yes.

Yeah, one day, so we had to like clean like where you scoop the ice cream. And I was doing that as part of my duties. And he's behind me and he goes, don't get me excited, Emily. And I was like, what? Then I, you know, finished up my duties and went home and kind of reflected on everything. And then I ended up stealing ice cream from them for another week.

Did you tell your folks what he had said? I did. I did. Yeah. My aunt actually was super super she was like pissed off Yeah, you like you need to file something and I just at that time was like I don't know like you have a kid Yeah, I'm like, I'm just gonna go to college and like smoke weed But like that's that's one of the same stuff

Yeah, no, but if my daughter if my 17 18 year old daughter told me that I think I would go down to the store I'm not saying I'd go down to the store. I'm not saying I'd go, cause I'm not like a fighter, but I certainly would go have some very strong, you know, carefully chosen words with him. Yeah. Cause that's fucking gross. This isn't important, cause it's gross

no matter how old he is, but just for it playing out in my mind, like how old was he? I think he was like, it's hard to tell, but like I think like in his 40s to 50s. Oh, yeah, that's bad. Yeah. That's bad. Yeah.

Was he married? I don't know. You know, this was like the one thing that's kind of hilarious though about everything is that after I quit I've had like I had friends that like actually work there and one of them started selling cocaine out of the van for catering. Wait she was in she worked in catering and then she was selling cocaine in the catering van? It was a guy, but yeah, he would,

that's like how he would go around in the van. And he'd set the cocaine. It was a mess, it was a mess. He had no boss, so he did it right. Right, right, and did it play music? Did it play music, like so it's like a coke, like turkey in the straw as it's going around the neighborhood. It's the cocaine man. Mommy it's the coke guy. The kids know it's the cocaine guy? Mommy I want some cocaine. I thought the kids thought it was ice cream and the parents were the ones who knew it was cocaine.

Everybody knows the fucking deal. Okay I mean it's like coming in like November in Minneapolis so I guess they're like coming in like November in Minneapolis. So I guess they're like, why is there an ice cream truck coming? Oh, that's the cocaine fella. Oh yeah, for sure. Yep, yep. Well thank you, Emily.

And you know, work will come along. Don't worry. I appreciate it. We'll move to another part of the couch just to feel alive. Alright, I'll get another butt thing going on the other side. Thank you. Alright, next up we got Matt from Colorado.

Matt, you're on with Andy and Sona. Matt? Hello Matt? Yes? Hi Matt! Andy here, you got me and Sona? Hi Matt! Tell us about your weird boss. Oh will do, it's great to talk to you guys. Thank you. So in high school I worked at a diner, sort of a night shift at a typically breakfast diner, so

it was pretty you know pretty laid-back, not many people coming in. Right. And one summer we had someone who joined our crew joined our crew uses guy who's only there for the summer and the reason why it was because he was sort of a full-time professional renaissance fair guy right to do whatever they needed last year there for that summer that we had a pretty big uh... renaissance fair nearby in this guy, so he's the cliche.

He had a goatee, he had those small glasses, he had long, straight black hair. And oftentimes- When you say cliche, was he stinky? Was he a little stinky? Yeah, but like this is the type of place where everyone is stinky. Oh, okay.

It wasn't that of the ordinary. Right, right. But was he in character? Like he still looked like he had just come off from the rent fair? Like pointy shoes with bells on them? So that's the thing is he would often show up to work with something that he brought from the fair. Like sometimes he would be wearing a tunic

or he'd be wearing like a helmet or greaves or something. Oh my God. One time he brought in a huge, he brought in a huge two-handed claymore sword just to like show off to people. It was wild. You don't bring a sword to work? Yeah, yeah, that's a workplace violation right there.

Yeah, oh my God. Well, again, this isn't the type of place that cared about that kind of stuff. Right, right. He was a full-time Renaissance Faire guy. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean, I just, I, he, you mean, it's like what, it was his main thing was to just be part of the Renaissance Faire.

So then he did this diner job just kind of on the side. Exactly, yeah, and he would move from town to town whenever these fairs would start up, because I guess they go year-round I always thought they were just a summer thing. Yeah depending on the climate yeah I mean it does make sense it's kind of like a carney thing you know I mean no really it's like it's like a different kind of carney you know. Oh I thought they just found local people who were like really into it but it's traveling. I think some of them are like that, but I also do think that there's gotta be vendors

that go from place to place. Because as a business model, it wouldn't make sense to just have a turkey leg business for two weekends a year. This has definitely struck me as a specialist. Yes. That's right. Yeah.

But so one day, one day, so I used to bring my friends in, it's like a place where they had some pretty good pie and we would come in at night when there's no one there and just sort of hang out for a few hours. I'd bring my group of like eight friends and every time he would make a beeline for our table and he would pick one of the three or four girls

in the group and start seductively speaking to them in Elvish. Wow. And whoosh. Just like cut to the footage of a wave crashing. Oh, I'm pregnant just thinking about it. Oh my God. So in case it wasn't clear, this guy was well into his 30s and these these girls were 16. Oh no!

Yeah, we were we were all so we were all uncomfortable by it of course but we were teenagers and had no concept of like healthy interaction. Yeah yeah. So we just decided that he was actually speaking Klingon and we just kept calling him Commander Worf which he did not like. Yeah, that's a different kind of loser. Oh my God, you know that's had to, that's worked for him in the past, that he keeps using the elvish approach. You know what, I have been on this planet for a long time,

and I still am not sure that, cause I used to think that, like, you know, cat callers, you're like, well it must work for him at some point but it's like I don't know that it does like what who would really I don't know I guess there's a you know I will say I know I know a lot of women and I know a lot of women who've been cat called I don't know a single love story that began with, I was walking down the street. And he said, nice ass. And I was like, oh, thank you.

And then we struck up a conversation. Like, it's a me cute. Well, yes, thank you. I have been working on my ass. You obviously are an esthete with high brow tastes. Yeah, no, I don't think so. I think that some men are just, they think that's what they're supposed to do.

But if you're in the Renaissance. I do wanna just say, men, oh men. I mean- Men, hooray men. Oh men. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that he probably should just kinda stick to his Renaissance fare, homies. Yeah, yeah, right. Cause I feel like that's, and also 16,

and you're in your 30s. Yeah, yeah. I mean, when I was 16, I felt like I was a grownup, but now I see 16-year-olds and I'm like. You're children. You're children. You're a child, yes. I don't know, that's so. It's bad. I bet something happened with him.

I bet he's in prison. Yeah, yeah. I think the selfish guy's in prison. Yeah. Or he created Game of Thrones. Oh. Ha ha ha ha. Well, is that it?

Is that it, Danny? He just, we kept calling him wharf. He kept getting upset. And then eventually he just left the next town. Moved on. Picked up and left. Yeah, yeah. Took his goatee with him.

Grabbed his loot and then moved on. Ha ha ha. See you later. He's a zither guy. I'm a zither. I really am fascinated about this world of Renaissance Fair people. Like, I didn't know that there was a traveling component to it.

I know there's a big one here, like, in the LA area. I know there's a big one here, and it's been happening for decades. Yeah, and I'm sure that there are people locally who just do it like, you know, like it's their burning man. Like they really get involved and they do it. That's a good comparison. But I, there's also gotta be some regulars.

Like there's also gotta be, there's no way that something that is that widespread does not have people that have created a business around it. Yes. I mean, you know, it just makes sense. Have you ever been? I have never been to one. Well, I went to one once when I was working in Chicago.

I was doing props on a commercial. I was assisting assistant props on a commercial. And we needed a baby elephant. And there was one in Wisconsin at a Renaissance Fair. So I drove to Wisconsin to take Polaroids of a baby elephant and then drove back to Chicago. So yes I have been to one but that just to see the baby elephant. Just to take Polaroids of a baby elephant. Because, of a baby elephant. Because, you know, it's just hilarious. It's like, because the Polaroids of the baby elephant are really what's going to, it's like,

it really does help, you know, the people from, I don't know, from like Reese's Pieces to decide, like that elephant's ugly. This baby elephant, now that's a fuckable baby elephant. Let's get that one in here. Um, so, and we did not, the Wisconsin baby elephant did not get hired. Oh, that sucks.

Too bad for him. I just love that there's a baby elephant chilling at the Renaissance Faire. At a Renaissance Faire, cause you know, when you think about Renaissance Faire, you know, you think minstrels and knights and ladies and damsels in distress and baby elephants. Yeah.

You know, it's in all the King Arthur stories. Matt, did you ever go and see this guy at the Renaissance Fair? I avoided it that summer for obvious reasons, but I had been to this fair many, many times. I just, I don't know, the guy rubbed me the wrong way and I didn't want to, I didn't want him to like see me and then be like, oh, I know that guy. Let me play my character at him.

Yeah, it would have been, yeah, you would have been opening yourself up to too much buddy-buddy. Friendship. Yeah, no thanks. All right, Matt, well thanks for calling. Hey, thank you guys, I just wanna say, I've been listening to the late night show

since the beginning and I love what you guys do, you guys are such a great source of entertainment. So thank you. Oh, thanks so much. Oh, that's so nice. Thank you very much, Matt. Thanks, Matt. All right, next up, Wisconsin calling.

We got Micah. Hey, how's it going? Hi, Micah. You got Sona, you got me. Tell us about your boss. Well, I was part of a jam band back in the day in college, I want to say 2004. Okay. And we broke up and three of the four of us were hired to for this Jewish Rock tour. There's a lot to unpack there. Yeah. What does Jewish Rock mean? It's like a circuit, and I mean that like there's a circuit out there.

You go to synagogues, used to be a lot more summer camps, JCCs of course, but summer camps are kind of a dying thing now. Yeah. So we would... But are you playing like songs that have Jewish content in them? That have Hebrew, are they in Hebrew? Like what's going on? I mean, one of the biggest guys out there was Rick Rect. I haven't paid attention to this. I'm not Jewish.

Yeah. But it didn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't? It doesn't matter. Let me clarify that. 75 or 80% of the band was not Jewish. Yeah, yeah.

So that was kind of the fun thing. We're playing these songs. Some of them are just covers. And then some of them were like these, they're kind of traditional songs that everybody knows and just kind of put to rock music. Oh. Like a real kick-ass Hava Nagila?

Kind of. I mean, it's not even a joke. I bet you, you guys played real kick-ass Hava Nagila? Kind of. I mean, it's not even a joke. I bet you, you guys played a kick-ass Nav Hava Nagila, didn't you? Hava Nagila. I think I played that once up in, yeah, up in Staten Island. We did play some Hava Nagila.

Yeah. But yeah, I mean, the guy was just terrible though. Terrible singer. Just pretty much, I mean, he came from money, his entire family's from Hewlett Harbor, so I won't say any names or anything. But this guy was such a cheeskate too that we would, you know, go from town, obviously town to town, all over the country for seven, eight weeks. And he would just like, this is 20 years years ago so we were just scrolling through the GPS in the van trying to find okay what's a hotel call through

three or four of them try to find the cheapest one you have to find this they didn't do it I mean he didn't do Jack squat he didn't know what the heck he was doing he was just like you have to be here on this date and then you had to take care of everything else? No, we were in a van altogether. He was in the van with her. Van, OK. So he was just like, make a right,

but you don't know where you're going. But yeah, but if you're being led by an idiot and you want to have some say, you're going to be like, let me look for the hotel, because this idiot will pick. Yeah, that's true. Pretty much. But the thing was, if he knew there was a price that was cheaper, he had to go with that price.

Oh, boy. And it got us into some extremely bad situations, like, I mean, just things that get burned into your memory. Oh, god. But the worst was up in New York, and I'll never forget this, because the rest of the country, you type in the cheapest, whatever, you're finding a 40 or $50 hotel that, uh, it sucks.

There's a lot of drugies or whatever at these places, but it's not like, uh, you know, it's not like you're not going to get killed. You exactly, but not so in New York. Okay. Essentially gave us the, uh, the ultimatum. We, we got to like Long Beach and he's like, well, do you He essentially gave us the ultimatum. We got to Long Beach, and he's like, well, do you want to sleep on the beach, or do you want to sleep at this hourly motel that he had found?

Hourly is problematic from the get-go. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yep, so we'll circle back to that. I mean, it's romantic. Oh, you think it's romantic? Oh, yeah. Oh, OK. Because you you think it's romantic? Oh, yeah. Because you know what those are about.

Oh, yeah, I guess. They're about making love. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Aw, Andy, you're so sweet. Yeah. It's definitely kind of more of a first date kind of place, but rather than anniversary.

Right, sure. We were like, OK, fine. We ended up at this hourly motel, cash only. I was like $10 an hour up till midnight and then like $47 for the rest of the night. The first thing you know when you pull into the parking lot, I mean we're in this minivan with the trailer behind us, we look like a family on vacation first of all, So I'm sure that was pretty. A target. Get out of the car.

Yeah, it was ridiculous. Plantation Motel, I'm never gonna forget it. It's between Oceanside and Long Beach. On Island Park. The name of it, Plantation Motel. Yeah, yeah. Nothing bad ever happened on a plantation. We, you know, we did end, it's like, it's like walking into a jockstrap.

And... Wow. It was, and I'm not gonna get too many details here, but I mean, the sounds beyond the walls were just thunderous. I mean, all the cars in the parking lot were like Lamborghin the walls were just thunderous. I mean all the cars in the parking lot were like Lamborghinis like just very nice. Wow. Every nice car was represented. So these were very well to do people, very well to do people on both sides of the coin but everything was you know covered in

plastic and dusty. It was like Reagan era. Most of the channels are all hardcore born, except for I think there was a home improvement marathon, which we ended up watching. I could jerk it to that. I don't care. I could jerk it to that. That way he makes those animal noises. Damn, that's fucking hot. All the walls are mirrors and everything like that. So I mean, there's fucking hot. Yeah. Oh, man. Then all the walls are mirrors and everything like that. So I mean, there's so many details we can get into, but the biggest, I mean, the cream on the top, frosting on the cake, guy leaves us in the morning to go get an oil change.

I think she's going to be back in time. And we had just driven overnight from Florida. So we've got all these soaking, what, you know, shirts, our merchandise, everything, our suitcases out trying to get dry in this extremely damp, disgusting hotel that just they'd never dried. We have to check out essentially before he gets back. So we put everything in these huge duffels, we're sitting outside the room. And I just remember the housekeeping maid just walking by

and seeing this couple of stoner dudes just sitting there with these huge black duffel bags. And that probably thinking like, what the hell are these guys into? Yeah. What kind of kink are they bringing here? Yeah, she's seen it all. She probably was like, oh, okay, this is normal.

Probably another Turing Jewish rock band. Right. They always bring their apparatus. Wait, so did he come back? Did this guy come back? Oh yeah, I mean mean he finally came back I mean by then we had dumped so much Water and wet towels and stuff into the suitcase and we were just

At mutant he was saved by then No, you know then we turned around went and played a summer camp How long did you guys tour with him? We were on the road for, I want to say, seven or eight weeks. Oh. And pretty much everything was as much of a clusterfudge as that right there. So that feels one of many terrible things. That's rock and roll, man. That's what it's all about.

I have a question. Because originally you mentioned you had a jam band with your friends, and three out of the four of you were asked to go on this tour. Like what happened with that fourth guy? What happened? You know, I always, I always felt bad cause it was like I actually filmed this entire thing. So I created a documentary that I've just, I'm a, I'm a magazine editor. I've done some like my novel that I've been dashed away here in the drawer and

trying to finish this long 20 years. But looking back it's just such a like that every time I'm looking at that just thinking then what could have been? All of our friends were going off to get famous like I used to play with Vernon, Justin, from Eau Claire, all of us are music guys we're all in you know everybody was going off to play professionally so to break up like on the eve of that and then get hired for the worst rock tour in history the fourth guy was Slash I think you've dodged the bullet honestly

well Micah thank you I'm glad that that's all behind you. Hey, thanks. Yeah, me too. I'm out of the music business. Alright, good. It's a dirty business. Alright, thanks so much. Have a great day. You too. Alright, you're listening to Andy Richard Call-In Show. I'm Andy. Son is here with me, Sonam Obsessian. We're talking weird bosses, bad bosses, evil bosses, bossy bosses, sexy bosses, hot bosses. Oh hell yeah! Yeah, yeah. Poopy bosses. Like they poop? Yeah, they're full of poop. Poopy pants bosses Give us a call 855 266 2604 if you got a story for us next up we got Julie

Julie's calling from Maryland Hello hello Hi there Long huge big-time fans of both of you Thank you, I just have to say your laugh is life-giving. I love hearing you laugh. Oh my God, I sometimes I think it's obnoxious. So thank you for saying that

because I'm a little self-conscious about it. And it can be very cruel at times. Well, that's only when I point and laugh at you when you humiliate yourself. Yes, that's exactly it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but yeah. Well, it could be dessert sometimes.

That's true. It's true, Julie. You got me. I digress. So tell us your boss story. What's going on? So I have two. One, when I was a senior in high school,

I worked for a Greek family restaurant. And it was not very well attended but I worked there it was money and they had their son working there as well but the owner was also the chef and I guess the son may or may not have had a crush on me I don't know but every time I would come to work the dad would call me an effing whore and a slut in Greek and thought he was being. And thought he was being, yeah. And thought he was being slick, but the son was nice enough to let me know

what his dad was calling me. What, why? Why? That was fun. Why would you need to know that? I don't know, but you know, I guess because he didn't speak Greek and he thought he was being nice and cluing me in, so I had a broader vocabulary, I don't know.

Just in the interest of linguistics, he's like, oh, by the way, my father's calling you a whore. It was before Duo Lingo. Yeah. Wow. There was no Duo Lingo app back then, so what are you gonna do? And was there a mom around? I mean, to hear the father-

Not that even remember. Yeah, yeah. It was a very male dominated place. Very much so, very much so. I mean, it was named after him, the dad. So it was like, it's no longer around. It was like Tom's family restaurant or something. I don't know.

Not very family friendly though. No, no, it doesn't sound like it. But then the other guy was when I had just graduated college and was working in an athletic department in the South and the director of the department, I was his administrative assistant and he was a good old boy and he liked to chew tobacco. And he would go from garbage can to garbage can, including mine, and just spit. Ugh. Ew! What?

What was his business? It was an athletic department for a major college. I won't say which one. Right, no, okay. When you chew tobacco, do you have to- One that's known better. Yeah, do you have to carry a cup with you everywhere? Yes, that's usually what it is.

Not when you have garbage cans. Yeah, not when you have garbage carry a cup with you everywhere? Yes. That's usually what it is. Not when you have garbage cans. Yeah, not when you have garbage cans. But yeah, because you're constantly making too much saliva that you can't swallow because it'll make you puke. Why would people chew tobacco instead of just smoke a cigarette? Because they just do. It's another way.

It's another nicotine delivery system. OK. OK. Oh, god. Because you're smoking on campus. Yeah. Okay, okay. Oh god. You're smoking on campus. Yeah. Oh right that makes sense. Yeah. But then you know. Right you have athletes. He's just spitting everywhere that's just gross. That's yeah. I mean like is there no. I would try to hide my garbage can but then realize it was probably better to just leave it out. realized it was probably better to just leave it out. Ugh.

Ugh. See, and that's, you know, I grew up around, you know, teens and different people that chewed tobacco. There was, you know, like they would dip, they called it. Yeah. And so you'd be at a party and they would be spitting. They'd have, they would take a beer bottle or something or a cup and spit in, you know,

like that would be their spit cup. And I think everyone in that milieu, at one point or another, took a swig of something that was tobacco spit. I know I did at least once. I went to grab my beer and it was my beer. You know, it was Todd's tobacco spit. Oh, God.

Well, you're lucky if it was just one person. Yeah. that's so gross. I've never been around tobacco chewers. That's a pretty foreign thing to me. I don't know if that's an LA thing. Well, they used to have the skull bandits where it was like in a little house. Like a tea bag. It was like a little tea bag of tobacco. So it didn't get loose, cause you can get like little bits on your tongue and there's a lot of that and like you'll talk to somebody and they'll have like little flecks of, you know, like cilantro on their teeth, but it's brown.

It's disgusting. But it's not cilantro. But it's like, it's the same thing as like, why would you dry out the weeds of, or the leaves of something, roll it in a paper tube and inhale it into your lungs? Like that's, it's all nutty, you know, it's all crazy. It is, I think that the spitting component-

And who was the first person to decide that? Yes. I don't know. Who did it? There's all kinds of that, you know, like, you know, who's the first person to ever know, like, you know, who's the first person to ever eat an oyster? You know, who's the first person to, you know, I don't know. Yeah.

You know, there's lots of lots of those. Did everyone just sit around like, good luck? Yeah. Sorry, I know that we've moved on from the Greek boss, but I'm still confused. So she, he would call you a name in Greek, and he was actually being nice by not saying it in English, like not being like, what's up, whore?

He thought he was being clever. Yeah, but then he would have been if his son didn't just blow up his spot. And then, I mean, if I speak other languages and if someone called somebody a bad word, I wouldn't be like, oh oh they're calling you an asshole. I would just keep that to myself and laugh. Right?

So that's what the son should have done is just laugh? He should have just high fived his dad and laughed. Oh my god. You tell her dad. Yeah, way to go dad. Yeah, way to go papa. Yeah, way to go papa. I'm guessing that's what they call it. Thanks for being my role model, dad.

Yeah, setting that example. Yeah, yeah. Okay. That's great. By the way, there's only two people in the restaurant, so good to know. Oh my god. Oh god.

All right, well Julie, thanks for the call. Thanks Julie. Oh, thanks for talking to you, made my day. Oh god. All right, well Julie, thanks for the call. Thanks, Julie. Oh, thanks for talking to you, made my day, so excited. Oh, thank you. All right, next up we got Sarah from Texas. Hello, Texas. Hi. Texas, hello. This is Sarah.

Hi, Sarah, how are you? I'm good, hi, Andy. Hi there. Hi, Sarah. Where in Texas are you? I feel like I shouldn't be giving out too many details, but in the Dallas area, let's say that. Okay, let's say that, sure, Andy. Hi, Sarah. Hi, Sarah. Where in Texas are you? I feel like I shouldn't be giving out too many details, but in the Dallas area, let's say that. Okay, let's say that, sure, sure.

I mean, that's a Metroplex that covers a lot of country, so yeah, and people. So tell us, I understand you got revenge on a boss. Yeah, so this is a long time ago, maybe closer to 10 years ago. I feel like this is why I feel like I shouldn't be giving out details. I'm a therapist, but I'm also a person,

so I have feelings. Listen, my aunt was a therapist and I knew all the shit. She'd tell me everything. Yeah, we have a lot of feelings. Yeah, yeah. You know, we might have extra feelings. Yeah. This was when I was right out of school.

I was working for a nonprofit. We were helping people to slow socioeconomic status. They were getting out of abusive relationships. So if you can imagine a baby therapist being thrown into really complex, scary places. I'm already ready to laugh. R-E-O. Oh yeah.

It's coming. All right. It's coming, it's coming. Let us have it, Sarah. RCO. Okay, go ahead. He was just like this typical smarmy old guy. Whoever you're picturing, that's exactly it. He was like this smarmy dude

who just thought he knew everything. He wasn't actually a qualified licensed therapist, but he would come in and tell us how to do our job. Literally, power play would try to make us all feel like really small and stupid, which is easy to do because he was older and since we were all like in our 20s figuring this out. So he was just kind of overall shitty. He also had this terrible habit of like creeping up on like only just the young girls in their offices and like rub their shoulders and like I swear I saw him smell someone's hair once just overall a really not good person yeah working with like a very you know a

population you should probably be gentle with so I was really sick of him I didn't have the power to leave I'm trying to like you know figure out my school and like my license and get all those things done so it wasn't as easy as I'm just gonna leave to the sky sex So I just you know years of working under him and really hating him. I also had a best friend at the time She also hated her boss. She was working in a completely different field But we were just sick of bitching about about him and her boss to each other so she decided we're gonna have a cathartic night together and she bought us like jello molds in the shape of penises and we made a bunch of strawberry flavored jello penises and mailed them out to each of our respective

bosses with a big piece of paper that said eat a dick really like all caps. To their home addresses or to the work address? To their home address. We were trying to be stealthy. Nice. And so we, yeah, we mailed those out. It was a lot of catharsis. And I still tell that story to my old colleagues

and we all have a laugh. Neither boss ever acknowledged receiving them, but we kind of knew which day they got delivered. So we both kind of like looked at their face to see if they would betray it or maybe just be like, hey guys, guess what I received in the mail today. But yeah, we never got that satisfaction.

But I feel, I felt that was like my little moment of rebellion and trying to create some power in a time when I had almost no power. I love that. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna do that to Conan. Although I gotta tell you, I wouldn't be that mad to get some Jell-O in the mail.

Right, and if that was any poison, I could have. Right, exactly. I think technically I didn't do anything illegal. Would you eat it? Sure, I'd eat a Jell-O. No, I would not. I would not if it came in the mail. Cause people, and I knew they were,

like it was a general kind of rule that like, you know, you get on TV and people start to send things to you and sometimes people would send food and it was just sort of like, it generally understood don't eat that. Was it? Yes. Because I ate a lot of food that people,

you know what happened? I remember. Someone kept that rule from you. You know what's funny is that Conan went to, I think Korea, and he said, if you send me a box full of food, I will come to your country. And so, we started getting boxes of food

from countries all over the world. And we'd be like, well, I mean, they're sealed. So we would eat them. But we were always like, this is a terrible idea because they can very easily just poison everything. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely, yeah. And nothing baked.

I wouldn't like, you know, if something was homemade. Somebody said cookies, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, these are definitely homemade penises, so you can kind of tell. You can tell the difference from the store-bought ones. Well, I'm proud of you. I am. I'm proud of you.

Yes, good for you, Sarah. Thank you. Thank you. I'm proud of you. Yes, good for you, Sarah. Thank you, I feel proud of myself. All right, now it's- Somebody's gotta stand up to the guy. If we get a jello dick in the mail, we're gonna know who it's from. And we're gonna thank you. And if you do, it'll be filled with love

and nothing else, no pride or hatred at all. Oh, let's see. Thank you. All right, bye, Sarah. You're welcome. Thanks, bye, guys. Ah, guys suck. All right. Guys are the worst. welcome, thanks, bye guys. Ah, guys suck. Guys are the worst. Guys are the worst, that's what I'm learning today.

I had no idea that men did these things. One of my favorite men, just men being men thing, is the whole thing about RFK Jr.'s brain worm. The reason that we know that is because he brought it up in divorce court so that he wouldn't have to, he'd say, because he was saying, I have a brain worm, so I can't pay all the support that I should.

It was to get him out of paying his ex-wife money, he openly admitted, I have a worm in my brain. Well, you know that Kennedys are hurting. I don't know if you knew about that. But I think that it's funny, and this is sad, but I have stories as well of just like, men being inappropriate. And it's sad because when you're a woman,

and especially like, you know, back when I first started working, you were just kind of like, I guess this is just par for the course. This is just what happens. You know, a guy's gonna rub my shoulders. Yeah, and that's why it took so long for like the Me Too movement.

I know. And there were a lot of older women who were like, yeah, that's what it is. Like, that's the workplace. Yeah, men are fucking pigs. Yeah. What do you want? But then you say it, you're like, oh, it's not right. Yeah, men are fucking pigs. What do you want? You just plow through, but it's like, yeah, it's not right at all.

And it's never really been right, you know? Oh, it's, I don't know. It's so sad. I mean, and what does suck is that like, there is like a certain level of workplace fun that can be had. And it's like the men that don't know the difference between, they don't know where the line is.

They just see like, they see people engaged in sort of like flirtatious office fun and they're like, I wanna get in on that. And and then pretty soon they're going like don't get me turned on while they're cleaning the ice cream scoops you know Alex Alex from Chicago hey guys hi there tell us about your bad boss you got me you got Sona hi nice to talk to you guys I listen to you guys all the time, you're amazing. Thank you. You guys really make life a lot more fun.

Oh, thank you so much. That's very sweet. Absolutely. So back in 2001, I was working at a theater in Bloomingdale, Illinois. Yep. And I had one of those bosses that was kind of a savvy guy. He was a little too smart for his own good. and I had one of those bosses that was kind of a savvy guy.

He was a little too smart for his own good. And I was ripping tickets just, you know, at the door, not doing anything. I was telling people which theater to go to. And so we had this guy who was kind of a regular, and he was odd. He would like pop, he would like come in and go to movies by himself. Yeah. Right?

Oh, I sometimes go to movies by myself. Do you guys remember the movie Bound? Bound? Bounce or bound? Bound, is that with Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly? Yes. Oh yeah, I remember that. I don't. Sexy, I remember that. I remember that movie.

I don't. Sexy, sexy, sexy. Yeah. That was a hot ass movie. Oh, somebody just brought it up, the pictures, and it's very sapphic charge. It was, this was a really hot movie. Yeah, yeah.

It's a great, great film, but boys are dirty, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is. So the regular guy, the guy that I mentioned earlier, who is always kind of like, you know, he came in, everybody was kind of like, he's a little weird, a little unkempt, always alone. So, he goes into this theater and we just,

I'm sitting at the door, I rip this ticket, and we just see him like rush out. And he runs, he almost like him like rush out and he run he almost like runs to the bathroom and he's just like sweating profusely so after the movie lets out my boss Jeff comes up to me and he's like yeah that guy just jerked off in Bound. He jerked off in the movie theater or he ran to the bathroom to jerk off? Yep, he jerked off in the movie theater.

What was he running to the bathroom for? For clean up or something? I would rather not know. I don't know. Oh, okay. Wait, how did he? I'm just getting clean up. How did they know?

How did they know? Was it there? Was it there? The gist? Was the gist there? I've always wondered the same thing, because this guy must have unloaded quite a bit. For someone to know. Well, good for him.

For someone to know. Bless his heart. Yeah. No, if you're going to jerk it into movie theater, I mean at least unload in a cup. Right, exactly. Be courteous of the people who are going to follow you. Sure, sure. But I, um. Or into the a cup. Right, exactly. Be courteous of the people who are gonna follow you. Sure, sure.

But I, uh. Or into the pocket of your greasy raincoat. I, I, Alex, were there other people in the theater? Were there like, was it like a full theater? And that's the thing, it wasn't completely full, but there were, you know, people were shy

about going to that movie, so there were a handful, though. Oh. Right? If you're the only person. That's not the bad part. All right that's not the bad part that's I know I don't think so either that's a good part. What is? The jerking off part. It's a celebration of you know life. You guys got a real job. All right so get tell us about the bad part Alex. Alright, so tell us about the bad part, Alex. Okay, so Jeff approaches me about it and of course he tries to get me to clean it up and I'm like, no. I've known you too long.

So he gets this 16 year old kid that we used to call Tuna. And this poor kid was just like, you know, he was a nice guy, but not much going on upstairs. Could barely even form the word no. So the kid goes in, he's gone for like about five minutes, he cleans up and then he leaves the theater and then Jeff approaches me after that. And he's like, yeah, Juno just cleaned it up and you puked all over the place.

Oh my god! I'm sorry, I'm touching the mic with my chair. It's a mixture of scene in and vomit. Yep. Oh my god. Wow. That's, that, they should have blurbed that for the movie. Can I? This movie will make you cum and puke bound. Tilly Gershon cum puke bound.

Wow. Yeah. Oh my God, that poor, poor tuna. Poor tuna. Yeah, poor tuna. But like, I mean, you can't expect a little, like a young kid to like clean up jizz and then be like, cool. But you know, like first of all,

if somebody, if I was a 16 year old, somebody said go in there and clean up that jizz, I would be going to get the fucking mop. I would have at least five feet between me and that jizz, I would be going to get the fucking mop. I would have at least five feet between me and that jizz. You know what I mean? And I don't care, you know what I mean? Like I wouldn't be in there with, yeah,

with like the pink liquid and paper towels, you know? Paper towels, oh God! You know, no. Or I would say, yep, I cleaned it up and not have done anything, because really, I mean, most of us know, you leave it there for a while, it's gonna eventually just kinda disappear. I'm sorry, what?

You want me to leave it? Sure, sure, sure. No one's gonna notice. No one's gonna notice, they're gonna think it's a loogie. I bet there's already so much jizz on the seats. That's the thing too, is like, to say, was there anyone in the movie theater, like, there are people jerking off

in a movie theater right now, you know? And they're, you know. But at least they have the decency to be far from everybody else. That is true. And unload into some kind of a vessel. Right, right. I think.

People are a lot more courteous. This guy is gross. They really should, in that same message where they say turn off your cell phone, they should say, and jizz into a cup. more courteous. This guy is gross. They really should, in that same message where they say turn off your cell phone, they should say, and jizz into a cup. Just ask it to stand. Could I have a jizz cup?

Why are guys so comfortable whipping out their dicks in places? Have you ever jerked off? You mean like, have I as a woman ever used my penis? No, no, have you ever jerked off? I you mean like have I as a woman? Yeah yeah you ever used my penis? No no have you ever jerked off? Yes. It's great. It is but I know but like I mean I I know to do it in like the privacy of my own home. Well yeah but we're not gonna let your uptightness limit us. Okay yeah yeah. I, yeah, yeah. But no, I mean, this guy went to a movie where he knows other people are there

and he felt comfortable enough to actually, I'm being like, did he, he took out his penis. You'd have to. Because he had to. Yeah. To get the jizz on the seat that the kid vomited throwing. Of course, right. And I'm just like, why did he, what happened?

What happened? It's very simple. He saw Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly in a Lesbo-charged movie thriller. Yeah, but just awkwardly. By the Wachowskis. And he got turned on. But just awkwardly.

And he let nature take its course. Why would you pull out your penis and do that? Because men are pigs. But I blame his mom. We've established this. I blame his mom. If I do, that's not, somebody didn't tell him it's not okay to do that.

I think that's putting too much burden on the mother. I know, I don't know. There's something, I'm just like, I'm raising two boys. And this is the things I think of. Just wait. No, come on. No, you'll be finding the balled up socks, the washcloths.

I don't wanna get a call from a movie theater saying we have your son because he was jerking it in the movie theater. That's what I don't want. I gotta be honest, Andy, Zona is on point here. I know, I know. This guy, no, this guy was like 40 years old, maybe 46, gray hair.

He would come to the theater with his mom deeper there all right so maybe we aren't there's hey Alex thank you so much but we got to go because we're at the end of our hour here we're actually a little bit over thank you so much for the call you guys are great thanks for the show you guys are amazing. Thanks, Alex. Thanks, Alex. All right, well, now we pick a favorite,

but I think it's pretty easy to pick a favorite. Jizzr. Yeah, oh my god. We finished with the winner here. Yeah, the guy jerking off. Yeah, we had a headlining story here. It had layers. Everything.

The vomit at the end was a twist I didn't expect. Gershon Tilly bound. Alright, I'll be back next week with another episode of the Andy Richter Call-In Show. Thank you, Sona. Can I come back? Yeah, alright. Alright, bye everybody.