The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Will Arnett (Re-Release)

Episode Date: March 8, 2022

(Re-Released from September 2020) Actor Will Arnett talks to Andy Richter about getting in trouble at boarding school, why awards shows are meaningless, and getting bullied into doing his podcast SmartLess with Sean Hayes and Jason Bateman.

look at us both recording already i know who would have known all those years ago that we'd both be recording already i know that we would both own microphones oh it's so crazy to own microphones what a world i know Although you have a fancy booth. I just have it like a setup on my kitchen table. It should be noted that fancy, I mean, it's a booth. But it is, and especially in these crazy times, you are able to, oh, by the way, I'm talking to Will Arnett. You are able to, Will Arnett,, uh, the HBO documentary series, the vow, uh, you're, you're in that, right? I'm also in the, um, the new Pope. I'm in the new, new Pope,

the newest Pope. Yeah. Yeah. Coming at you. Poping at you. Um, make a great Pope, by the way, I'm not Catholic, but I would make a great Pope in what sense, in the sense that I would just be like, okay by the way. I'm not Catholic, but I would make a great pope. In what sense? In the sense that I would just be like, okay, let's cut the bullshit. Because I know how people look at the Catholic Church. And I'd be able to say, and this is controversial, I get it. But I'd say, guys, come on. Let's cut the BS.

We messed up a bunch. We've done a lot of shit. And now it's our turn to turn it around. If we want to save this thing, we got, it's pretty clear what we got to do. We, you know,

and then you just go down the list. We got to endorse gay marriage. We have to, uh, we, we can't oppose it. Like just all the stuff that just like make all the logical shit. Right.

Like in, you know, there isn't some guy in the sky that cares what you do. No. Well, that would be number one. And I get that I would get a lot of pushback on that.

Yeah. It's kind of their thing. I know. It'd be like going into like a car company and like going to Ford and saying, hey, you can't make cars anymore.

But. But I'm going to turn this thing around. Yeah. We are going to make fudge from now on. We're going to get rich on fudge. Now, you're out in the Hamptons, right? You're in Long Island? I was on Long Island.

No, no, no. I'm back. Oh, you are back. You're in L.A. again. I'm back No, no, no. I'm back. Oh, you are back. You're in LA again. I'm back on the West Coast, as we call it, Andy. And it should be noted, because we were in Long Island for a while, I just got your baby present yesterday. Oh, really?

Last night, because it had gone out there. And it got there when we left and then had to be sent back here and so i just quite literally got my hands on it last night oh good well i'm glad you got it so thank you very kindly it's a beautiful silk blanket yeah it's a little silky it's it's my kids were turned on to them at a young age they're just like little satin blankets that babies love to like just hold on to like a super villain like rubbing it between their fingers and my daughter's 15 she still sleeps with hers well but your daughter's a super villain though well she yeah i mean yeah i mean she's you know she it's it's her island lair that she's sleeping in. But yeah, on her big stash of nerve gas,

it's weird that she wants to sleep at it. It doesn't seem comfortable to me. She's like, no, I derive great pleasure from sleeping on the nerve gas piles. Well, that's good to have you back. How has the COVID world been for you? Especially with the new baby, that's good to have you back. How has the COVID world been for you? Especially with the new baby, that's got to be weird. It's been awesome, Andy.

What a great, what a time to be alive. And the idea of welcoming a new child into this world right now, it's just felt so, it's just really buoyed me up. Right. Well, it is. A lot of times when you have a baby, you feel like obliged to really care about what happens to him but with this one you don't have to you know this whole

fucking place is going up in flames in no time so it's like ah this kid you know he'll be more like a friend than a son yeah that's right he's more like a fellow like a fellow soldier uh yeah yep exactly he was like a helpless foxhole mate yeah yeah who's just gonna pull his weight uh you know and and hope not to get trench foot um i um it's been great you know i mean look it's been such a weird time and and denny's been such a blessing and and uh he's doing great great. He came a little early. Classic Arnett. I know. So don't tell everybody.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Everybody doesn't know that that's my hallmark. And he was born May may 27th and it was you know um you know right in the thick of the um of you know the sort of the covid lockdown out here in california and and the and the you know the riots and in the protests and uh it was just such a crazy time and there was quite literally like smoke coming into the hospital and he was so little and we were nervous and we had to it was just such a weird yeah bizarro time and but of course it was just that's it just was the time that it was and nothing we can do about it we just sort of um you know we're very lucky so um and he's healthy and he sort of made it out he was in the NICU for a minute and now he's out and um so it's good

you know it's great yeah congratulations, yeah. Congratulations. Thanks. Yeah. Now, before you had another, cause you have two boys who are like in their teens now, right? Well, uh, 10 and almost 12. Yeah. 10. Yeah.

Um, was it daunting the prospect of going back to baby though? Yeah. I think that I, I glossed over it. I just was like, yeah, it's no problem. Yeah. I did it, but I know what I'm doing. And then it was, and then it. I just was like, yeah, yeah, it's no problem. Yeah, I did it, but I know what I'm doing. And then it hit, and I was like, oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. Who told me this was a good idea?

Oh, that's right. My life is not my own. Yeah. Oh, fuck. It's like, what's that noise? That's a crying, who's crying baby? Is that, oh, that's ours? You know?

Oh, boy. Yeah. Obviously, and you've heard this so many times, people talk about it. It's like we're programmed as human beings to forget that. Yes. Yes. How hard it is, especially those first three months. And so I had forgotten.

And I mean, no, that's all. It's actually been great and it's been okay, but it's just whatever. It just takes its toll and it's hard and it's hard on your partner. And it's been, um, but it's been, it's been good though. We, you know, we, we've made it through and I kind of feel like we're just sort of like, ah, coming out of that first bubble. coming out of that first bubble. Also, he came out, he was really little and he was, you know, like I said, he came out early. So that's scary and all that kind of stuff. But he's, it's great. It's amazing when there's, because, you know, like different health issues that you have with your kids or scary moments that you have, especially when they're little,

how they just, you don't even almost, and they seem so terrifying. And I mean, we had a couple with our kids. But then when they're passed, you're just like, you don't even remember it. You're like, oh yeah, right. There was that moment where we were terrified that the kid was going to die any moment. Yeah. There are all those. Well, yeah, certainly.

And it keeps going too. I remember we were talking the other day because Archie's had so had so many stitches, you know, he's not even 12 yet. And he, he started young. He was like maybe four and he, um, got like seven stitches in his forehead. And is he a daredevil or is he just kind of clumsy? He's not even, no, he's not even clumsy. He's got good coordination. It's just, he kind of flings himself at stuff physically. Oh yeah. Like he's just kind of like, he, he, he's the kind of kid he, he's not even clumsy. He's got good coordination. It's just he kind of flings himself at stuff physically.

Oh, yeah. Like he's just kind of like he's the kind of kid he quite literally does this. He runs one direction while he's looking back another direction. And I'm always like, you know, you're really going to hurt yourself if you don't look where you're going. And it's been. It's like a basic rule in the, in the, in the human user handbook. He, he last, I forget how long ago it was. It wasn't, it was within the last couple of years he had to go, he ran in the kitchen,

he ran into this chair and he ended up having to get stitches between his toes. It was, and, and he'd like, it was so gross. And this was like the third or fourth time he'd gone for stitches. And this time I went in and the guy said, you know and i've been there before where i've had to hold him down when he got him in his head and he's like four i had to hold him while the guy was giving him stitches and he's screaming in my like looking into my eyes going daddy why are they why are you doing this and i'm like oh god it's so painful, your kids. Yeah, yeah. So by the time he's like 10 and getting the stitches in his foot, and the doctor goes, you can come in, but we can do it.

And my nurse can hold. I was like, yeah, yeah, that's fine. I'm like, I don't need any more trauma. At this point, I've already held him four times. He already associates sheer terror with my face. Yeah, yeah. And also, Daddy, why are you doing this to me because you keep fucking up kid and for christ's sake what do you mean why are we doing this look

at your toe because you're acting like a zero yeah because you're a loser a loser uh i'm just telling you i'm just telling you what my dad told me. You're a loser. Well, and at least, too, it's like he's getting the webbing of his toes stitched, so no one's going to think that you were abusing him. Right, right. Like, what kind of child abuse is that? We picked a really good spot that nobody would see.

I will rub a piece of paper between your toes, son. Oh, God god it was so painful too poor guy you actually missed a school trip it's i was i was one of those kids that was i you know knock i cut my head open you know like pushing back on a high chair and hit a bookcase broke my leg broke my thumb you know tons of stitches from cuts and shit, you know, just, I don't know. I didn't do that stuff until I was like later. Like I broke my kneecap. I got a fracture in my kneecap when I was like 18.

And then, yeah. And I ended up having, and I had knee surgery in my other knee. Like everything happened kind of later for me, which I saved it for adulthood for when it really hurt and i can remember it yeah when your body can't bounce back as well oh my god i'm so i turned 50 andy oh really me can you believe it me it's not fair the guy who's like the young guy i've been 50 for 15 years i know i know i remember on your 40th when we went away you me and kent and jiles and when you turned 40 and when on your 40th you turned 50 that's how i did it was weird you got to see it yeah we went away that's right uh my 40th birthday we had a boys weekend yeah of uh playing golf yeah and eating steak because yeah, golf and steak.

And because, uh, I know what you're going to say. Two of you, two of you are sober. Yeah. Like you just sat and watched me drink, order another one. And then you just watch me like, like you were old men watching me jerk off for you or something. I knew you were going to say that. And I remember you were like a couple couple drinks in and we were so enthusiastic we're like andy get more and you were like

you were kind of mad you were like you guys just want to watch me drink well it did feel like you know it had nothing to do with you know my panache like the way that i drank it was just the drinking. You could have been watching anybody. I felt like it took all the romance out of it. That was fun. That was a fun weekend. That was really fun. Well, now you, luckily, you have dual citizenship, do you not?

I do, yeah. So you can bug out of here, you know. I can head back to the homeland at any, I can just scoop up all the kids and just go, or maybe I'll leave them. Is that it? Well, yeah, come on. New country.

I mean, new old country, new slate. Start over. I'm just going to go back and then I'll go do one of those surgery. I'll change my face. Right. And,

and I'll just, you know, and I'll go work at a Tim Hortons in back in canada and i'll just forget it all right well why are you getting a new face you should just like become drake oh that's a good idea you know you go to toronto and you're and you go there as drake you'll be set i would be if i was you're right if i was drake in toronto forget it how good would that be yeah i don't have to work i'd buy tim hortons if i was drake yeah yeah i wonder if drake owns any tim hortons i met that guy once he seemed really nice i was coming out of uh i was waiting outside of a hotel in toronto

at like six in the morning and dead of winter to do some press for something. And, and, um, so they're like, your car service is going to come down. And I, it was like, maybe it was even like five 45. So it was like still dark and it was snowing heavily.

And this, this SUV pulls up and I, and there's nobody else in front of the hotel because it's early and it was desolate. And I thought, well, that's definitely for, and I went out, it was freezing and I get out and I'm about to like, just the door and get in and the door opened and drake got out and and it

was like oh sorry i thought he was like hey what's up and i was like hey man and we started chit chatting and uh which was cool and then and then the guy said i got a text at that moment saying no your car's a few minutes late you can go back up and chill out and i was like oh great so i walked back in. And then we had like a, not awkward, but we had like an elevator ride. I guess at the time he was living at that hotel. And so we get in the elevator together. And then he was like, we should hang out sometime.

And I was like, totally we should. And then he got out. Right. And that was it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But my number is, you know. Don't you want to take my number? I'm sure Drake is listening to this.

Drake, reach out. Drake, definitely reach out. My number is 555-1212. People don't do that joke anymore, Andy. They don't. They don't. And they should. They should.

It's a good one. Klondike 5. That was the old version. Murray Hill 34. Did you ask Drake at all about Degrassi? That's what I would want to know. I didn't. I thought that if I opened with that, he'd be like, okay, this clown wants to come in.

He has no appreciation for my music. Yeah, he wants to bring up Degrassi. Much like when Jimmy was in Degrassi, no one really cared about his music that much. Nobody did. But I mean, yeah, he was in Degrassi. And what's cool, Drake has stayed in Toronto. He is an icon in Toronto. And he stayed there and he's built this huge house

and he's just like Toronto. And I get it. Toronto is actually a great place to live. I've spent a lot more time there in the last couple of years. He's built this huge house and he's just like Toronto. And, and, uh, I get it. Toronto is actually a great place to live. I've spent a lot more time there in the last couple of years. Um, all joking aside, like,

have I had moments where I thought like maybe I'd go back? Yeah, I have. Yeah. Yeah. I've had a few moments like that. And I, and I like what Drake's done. And I think that I like that he has brought attention to Toronto and that he's kind of tried to promote the music scene in Toronto.

I think it's kind of cool. Yeah. Again, I think he and I should be friends. Right. Right. He brought an NBA title to Toronto. That's really something. He did bring that.

Yeah. I guess he did. He sure did. Right? Without Drake, Aubrey Drake, that would not. Without Drake, Aubrey, Graham, that would not have happened. I would love you to get on one of those morning drive sports shows and argue with some of those sports assholes. And you'd be like.

Who cares about the. It was Drake's doing. He brought, I don't know, like a hip-hop flair to an otherwise white northern city. We got Andy Richter on the phone here with Boston Sports. All right. Yeah, you know what? I'm just calling in Andy. Fuck you.

Fucking Drake. Now, I get, you know, there's people that do like a little bit of research for this show. I think it's Wikipedia. I mean, come on. What do you want? Nobody makes any money at this. Oh, sure. You got a podcast. You know how it is. I mean, come on. What do you want? Nobody makes any money at this. You've got a podcast. You know how it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. But I saw

something that, like, you got kicked out of boarding school, which I was, I mean, because I know so much about you, but I didn't know that you got kicked out of boarding school. Did you not know that? No. Have we never talked about this? No. I mean, unless you don't want to talk about it no no it's

fine here's the thing i because i still can they had a problem with class a drugs and and for me now and and this is uncool way to go narks and i don't want to get into a bunch of lawyers no no we so first of all i always contend that I wasn't kicked out and this is a very sort of fine distinction to make, but, uh, I was asked not to come back. Oh, right. Okay. So I wasn't kicked out like mid year. Uh, I finished 10th grade and they said, you know, handshake, like we're good here. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck off now. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, I'm out. And, uh, you know, I'd gone, I was, I went to boarding school when I was 12. Wow. Um, which I now, I now realize, you know, having my own kids, how young that is.

Yeah. Um, it was a different time. It was a different era. It was different, you know, I don't know in Canada at that time and whatever. I think that there were, I went to a school that there was very sort of much more of an old school sort of English style boarding school in a lot of ways. How far from home? A couple hours north of Toronto. Yeah. Up in the woods or. Where they can't hear you scream.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Toronto yeah up in the in the woods or where they can't hear you scream yeah yeah like yeah and you know to be honest at first when I went I was excited to go um because not that I necessarily wanted to go get away from home I was just excited I was 12 it was like yeah I'm gonna go to like camp yeah you know in a way like way like they have a lot of sports there and you're kind of outside and you, and it wasn't outside outdoor oriented school. Like they didn't have a gymnasium. Um, they had no indoor sports. It was all, um, you know, it was kind of like, uh, what they have here in this, uh, kind of, uh, outward bound. Oh, really? Cool. Yeah. Yeah. So like by the time you get to like ninth, 10th grade, like you'd get graded on things like winter camping and,

uh, and running Rapids in a canoe and stuff like that. That was your PE grade. Wow. Yeah. So we had school and then you had a lot of outdoor shit like that. Right. You had to rappelling down.

So it was, well, it is Canada. It's Canada. You gotta be rugged. I dug it, man. Like we went away,

like the whole school would go on a thing called expedition weekend Weekend where the entire school went on a canoe trip. And they would stagger everybody out in groups and stuff. And you'd go on these lakes way out. And it was like, I don't know, that's pretty fucking cool. That is cool. And now it's all boys or is it co-ed? It was at the time all boys. It's now co-ed.

So, again, so initially I was into it. And then, yeah, there came a point where I wasn't as into it. Because, you know, 12 is one thing. Then you're 16 and, you know, on the weekends, like, you want – there were no – I mean, we have weekends. But, like, there was nothing to do. And you were way up there and you couldn't do anything. You weren't allowed to like go out. And we wanted to go out and hang out with girls and do all that kind of stuff.

And so I started getting in trouble. I started, you know, smoking butts in the woods and, you know, doing, you know, having a little drinky poo here and there and then getting in trouble. Yeah. and then getting in trouble. Yeah. And my parents, to their credit, realized that I'd sort of outgrown it and that it wasn't great for me, wasn't a great environment. And so I went home. I came back to Toronto.

Yeah. Was it weird to come back home? I mean, when you've been away? I mean, I know you're home for the summer, I assume. Yeah, yeah, of course. Because my first two years of college I went away and then I transferred to a school in Chicago and then like had to go back and live with my mother and it was like that was a bummer you know like I had been out for two years and then

came back home and I was like oh fuck you know yeah was it that kind of feeling a little bit a little bit I think it was a little bit and it had been so lord of the flies that i came back and i was like i'm the boss now you know oh boy oh boy no that's not true that's i've seen you like that with a maitre d it's not pretty because they never give me the table i demanded that I deserve Andy. But yeah, it was weird coming back. It was weird. And I think that I came back, I guess I was like 16 or whatever.

And then by the time I was 20, I moved to New York. So it was really only like four years. And I really never thought about it that way actually until this moment. Like that adds up. I guess sort of in a lot of ways mentally I was already out of the house. Yeah, yeah. So by the time I left and moved to New York and I was 20, that wasn't really that scary to me.

Yeah. Just to go back a little bit, what what was the motivator i think like did the rest of your siblings because you got three siblings you got sisters and a brother two older sisters and a younger brother yeah had they gone to boarding school too i mean was it just no what what was the motivation with you just to get you out of their fucking hair first of all yes for sure um because you've known me a long time. You won't stop talking. I'm a handful, Andy. You know that. A delicious handful.

Sure. Like trail mix. Yeah. I'd been at a school in Toronto called the Toronto French School, which was a very sort of, as schools, good schools should be, it was very academic oriented and it was very demanding. Yeah, yeah. It was a school that was really sort of confectionery oriented.

No. It was named after French Stuart from Third Rock from the Sun. The curriculum was all his career. Which was crazy because the show hadn't even come out yet um but but they so i'd gone to a school that was very much uh about um very stringent and very tough academically and i think that there was a lot of burnout certainly my sisters had burnout too and they were really good students and it was tough. I mean, I remember in fifth grade, I took, uh, for a semester, I took Russian. Um, they broke down like the, the sciences.

Wow. Yeah. And, and they took, they did, they broke down all the sciences into the different, uh, you know, physics and chemistry and biology in fourth grade, you had exams and you had to study. It was really rough. And I, I think at that point, my parents realized like that, I, that was not going to hold my interest that I was like, I'm blowing out of this joint and I'm not. Yeah. And so that was part of the reason that I went to a school that was much more kind of well-rounded and, you know, uh, and my brother was quite, is, is almost 10 years my junior. 10 years my junior and i think that uh probably i guess he was like two when i left and i'm sure my mom was like i can't deal with you and a baby you know and your older sister i i think there was there were a lot of things send the baby away i know that's what i kept saying he's the stranger that's what i kept saying as i was holding him over the railing. We're getting rid of the baby, right? Andy.

Come on. There's an awning below. Look, it doesn't take, you don't have to go to therapy to realize I was the baby for almost 10 years. And then he came along. You know? How dare he? I know. So, but anyway, I, you know, I think my parents were really just trying to find a solution so that I could be okay.

And, um, and God bless him. And, and, um, but, uh, yeah, it was, it was definitely weird. And then I came back and my sisters went to college and I was, and again, I was just like, I wanted to do something else. And, um, I just never wanted to be where I was. Yeah. Did you go to a regular high school then? I went to what they call an alternative high school for the first couple years, and I graduated from regular high school. Okay.

So I went to three high schools. Oh, wow. But, again, it was kind of okay. I went to this high school for a while that was run by my close friend of the family, my godmother. And she ran this really cool that was run by the Toronto. It was a public high school, but it was, I could take theater classes and get credit for it. And I had my own kind of curriculum and there were no actual classes. Wow. I had to do all the, I just had to do all the work and have one-on-one.

It was very cool and again it was um they've been doing it for a few years by the time i got there in the toronto board of education you know liberal canada way to go liberal canada looking looking for new ways for kids to get educated that might be great right how dare they thinking of the kids first i know know. Bunch of jerks. And actually, that was a really great environment for me. Yeah. And I did very well there.

And it was awesome. But you didn't graduate from there. No, because I couldn't get all the necessary. It was basically because I couldn't get all the credits I needed. To get to college. Yeah. I think I needed to get like some, or to graduate, I needed a certain math and stuff

that they didn't offer at that school. So I had to go and finish it for one semester at this other school. Did you go to college at all or did you just head off to New York? I went briefly. I went for one semester to Concordia University, Montreal.

Yeah. And then I remember. Not cold enough in Toronto for you? You know, I had to get to Montreal where it's real cold. Oh my God, it's ridiculous there. It's, and then I went back, the next time I went back to Montreal

was when we were shooting Blades of Glory and I was wearing a leotard. Chasing Will, you know, And I was wearing a leotard and chasing Will Farrell outside and freezing. Anyway, I remember calling my dad and saying like, I went to college. And I remember thinking at the time, I was with a lot of people I'd grown up with. And I was somewhere at Concordia and a lot of them were at McGill where both my sisters went. And I remember kind of looking around and having this moment and everybody's just doing what they're doing in college. They're having a good time. They're studying, but they're having a really good time. And Montreal is a great party city. It's a great town. It's unreal. And yeah,

and I was having a lot of fun, too much fun. I really wasn't doing much school. And I kind of looked around and I thought I did have this moment where I went, I'm, I'm just going through the motions. I'm wasting my time here. This is a waste of time. And maybe these people are not wasting their time. Not for me to say, but I can't do this. This is going to, where am I going to go? If I just keep doing this, I don't see any. And I call my dad and I basically said that. And, um, my dad's been awesome throughout my life. And a lot of times I didn't even realize until later. And I look back of how many, how great my dad has been. And he, I think that he could have had gone one of two ways. He could have thought, wow, you're such a fuck up and stick with it and know you got to stay in college

and do, do, do. And he really heard me and he went, okay. Yeah. And he said, come on home and get a job.

And if you want to go to, um, and he goes, what do you want to do? And I said, I think I want to go to New York. I really think I want to do this acting thing. And he said,

well, then you better come home and make the money so that you can go. Um, he wasn't, he was like, I'm not not i'll pay for you to go to college i'm not going to pay for you to go do that um yeah uh i'll help that's really a credit to your dad too because he's he's not like uh you know a mosaic artist he's a business guy yeah like he's a lawyer right a lawyer and a business guy and you know and i you know a lot i don't know maybe it's just my mind of business guy type dads would be like no you need to get into business because i mean even my mom is as supportive as she was

you know she was in sales and she's like you should just when i was struggling you know like when i was making no money and trying to do this for a living and not podcasting who the fuck knew there was such a thing um what day you will podcast amy i don't know what it is mom but i want a podcast it sounds dirty it probably is um but uh she was like you should just get into sales she'd be so good at sales which is basically like saying like you should just like pour cancer into your soul like that was what it sounded like to me like get in sales like oh you mean die are you saying i should just die get fitted fitted what fitted for the smith and wesson you're gonna put in your mouth but anyway so kudos to your dad that's really i love it when parents are like yeah whatever do it you know yeah and by the way and and by extension of course my mom too um they they were

very supportive in that way i mean it wasn, obviously there was friction in those times and when they were worried about their kid and what's he, is he, you know, this is potentially the road to ruin for this kid. We might be facilitating a major fuck up. A major, major fuck up. And, but yeah, he, he really, he really heard me. um but yeah he he really he really heard me and you know i i i look back my dad as you said my dad is a fairly he's not conservative but he he was a corporate lawyer for many many years and then he went into business for one of his clients and he ran that business and he just did a lot of sort of those and he lived he lived and operated in a very serious world that had very um very set boundaries and and you know you do that you do x and y and you'll get to z and i

think that um there were times though where he really uh was able to think outside that and and understand um and it wasn't until years later it was actually a couple years ago where i actually was able to kind of say to both my parents i really appreciate that i know that my life is unorthodox to you and i really appreciate that you've been able to roll with me on it yeah it's meant it's meant a lot to me and that i'm very happy that i was able to actually say that to them while they're still alive yeah um because i do plan on murdering them i want to announce on the podcast i'm excited to say there could only be one there could only be one no but it truly i you know and um and my mom

has always been very supportive too i will say in in um not in any way like you're gonna go and do something and whatever she wasn't like that you're gonna be a star yeah i can't wait not at all like yeah you know there's a lot of like also like tough love on that too like you know even when things go great kind of like um you know she it's hard she's she can be stingy with a compliment let's put it that way right you know yeah well and she you know they know you too like that your people know you so like even when things are going good if there's something that's like not quite right they know that too you know yeah yeah um so what when you you're 20 you go to new well and also too kudos to your dad for saying like you better come home and make some fucking money you know yeah yeah um so what when you you're 20 you go to new well and also too kudos to your dad for saying like you better come home and make some fucking money you know because again that's like

yeah you know to just say like all right son i'll write you a check and you go to new york oh boy that's a dangerous no my dad you know my dad came from my dad came from very little both his parents were teachers in in manit. And I know, I know. Gross. Like the least honorable profession, teachers. My dad's dad, my grandfather, Emerson Arnett, he started the Manitoba Teacher Society. So he was a teacher and he started a union, Andy.

Oh, my God. So that teachers could be treated fairly and all that kind of stuff. Well, thank God his son went to the boardroom. I know. Well, you know what? What's interesting is my dad was always, my grandfather died when I was quite young, my dad's dad. And, um, which was a pity because I never got to really know him that well. And by all accounts, he was a really cool, great guy. And my dad felt a lot of guilt about sending me to, and his kids to private school. Um, and I think that it kind of went against a lot of, you know, my dad had nothing. Um, my dad met my mom the first time he was, you know, my mom was at a, grew up in Winnipeg and then they

would go to the lakes to to Lake of the Woods. And all these people had these big cottages, and my mom's family had a big cottage. And my mom met my dad at a party. My dad was a boat boy for a rich family. They used to have this position of boat boy. Wow. Yeah. Which was mostly a sex thing, I got to imagine.

No, fully a sex thing. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, by then it was just a full-time sex job. Right, right. No, he was like the guy who, because they had these elaborate, old, and beautiful places on these lakes with these boathouses,

and they'd have these old mahogany boats. That constant upkeep. Constant upkeep, and then he had to go and get groceries and do all that kind of stuff, and it was like a summer job, you know? And so that's, and my mom, my dad was kind of like the poor kid who was working the job as the boat boy. And then he's this kid and he goes to university and school in

Winnipeg. And then he gets a scholarship to Harvard and he goes to Harvard, uh, based on his, uh, on his smarts. Not like, um, you know, uh, you know, a lot of kids who, who go with, uh, I, what I'm trying to, I'm trying to bring up Kushner cause I'm trying to be current. Um, I thought you were going for Conan. Oh, oh, forget Conan. I know. I know. I mean, they just, that was just a redhead quota right right exactly you know like yeah but but uh so anyway so so uh my dad was he was a self-made guy in every sense and i remember when i went to when i went to school with all you know this boarding school there were a lot of really some fancy people who went to that school including uh felipe who was then the prince and he's now the king of spain wow yeah and i knew him

which is weird right yeah yeah um do you think he do you are you have you kept in touch with the king of spain yeah yeah yeah i'm the i'm the official jester at the uh spanish court no but i mean if you like if you like bumped into him at something would he would you be like hey i went to school with you yeah yeah yeah no he'd remember yeah yeah for sure i i actually a couple years ago was going to madrid for again for some press thing i do a lot of press andy i know well you're in all kinds of stuff i hate you i know i know you do oh i'm nothing but envy greed with envy i was i got from a guy who was his roommate uh a way to get in touch with him and then i ended up going and i couldn't do it i was busy for the king um sorry king sorry sorry i got a photo shoot um and uh for lego batman i'm lego batman king sorry wait it's just your voice why would they photograph you

which by the way ricky jervis always says to me like like, we joke around and he's like, I don't know why you need to be in shape as a voiceover artist. I was like, fuck you. Anyway, you know, so anyway, so I went to school with a lot of these fancy types. And I remember one time there was some kids were going to go on this trip. And my dad, I always had a job like on Christmas break and when I'd come home and in the summer when a lot a lot of these kids did not because they were super wealthy and my dad would be like i remember the kids were going on a trip and i said can i go and he said no and i said well so and so and so are so going he goes yeah well they're going to be losers and uh you're not and he basically was saying like you got to

come home and fucking realize you got to earn it. Yeah. And these kids can go and have a free ride, but that's not going to lead to good things. And I, at the time, remember being like so mad about it. Yeah. And, and all these years later, I realized what have, what an unbelievable gift my dad gave me with that. Yeah. He really did.

It was such a gift um do you think you'll do that with your kids will no way sorry let's finish the question go ahead finish the question no because i mean i i i'm right there with you you know midwestern nobody really had any money i mean we weren't poor nobody ever you know i mean obviously nobody went hungry um but uh uh i always would like because i was working when i was 12 years old i had a paper route and then i was working for my family's family businesses and i mean it was like three different ones it was plumbing kitchen and then my uncle had a, you know, a office supply. Like he built lockers and pallet racks and things like that.

So, I mean, my youth was just riding around in a truck or crawling under a house or, you know. And I always felt with my kids, like they're going to, you know, they're going to learn to eat shit just like I did. No, I mean, but like there, cause there is something about having to work that gives you a real idea of what I do think is the reality of the world, which is there is a lot of time when, and I don't want, I certainly don't want my kids to be submissive, but there are times when you just have to do something unpleasant because you're, there's some other thing other thing at the other end of it, like whether it's to make money or, you know, whatever. That's just the way it is. But, like, my son's 20, and he's never really had a job. Like, you know, we're getting to the point where I think he really should.

And he's done lots of kind of volunteer things. You know, like he for a long time was doing environmental work with the group Tree People here, which is like, you know, they clear trailheads and they plant trees and stuff. And he did a lot of stuff with them. But it was always just like for him to get a job. It always felt like he went to a pretty demanding school he had a lot of school work and it just kind of never got there and it wasn't and i'm not the kind of dad that's going to be like you get 40 and then you know yeah you know i mean and they don't live a lavish lifestyle but it's kind of like well it's well, it's tough.

You love your kids and you want them to be happy. So then you're like, well, I want to provide and let them do this and stuff. And then, but what is the balance of what's good for them and what's not? And I remember, well, two things. I don't know what it's going to be like. This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately about what am I, what kind of experience do I want my kids to have and and am i you know my kids are really uh lucky in a lot of ways um and and you know their parents have have worked a lot and and and done relatively well and so they have a lot

of opportunity and i want to make sure that that opportunity doesn't hurt them in the long run. I had a good friend of mine who's a producer. And a couple of years ago, his son was in college. And he said, I forget the circumstance of it. It was some sort of version of, well, he's doing this. And it was the summer. And he was like, he's doing this. And he's just kind of hanging around and blah, blah, blah.

And I said, how old is your son? At the time, he was like 20. I said, you got to make him come back home and get a job. He grew up with a lot of rich kids. His dad does really well. I said, I'm telling you, if I've learned anything, just do it. If he's having this moment, the best thing you can do is make him earn it right now himself. You're showing him how to live a life. Yeah. You were saying like you give your kid money because you know, you want to show him that he should earn it, whatever. But what the thing is the experience, you know, you can't, you can't buy that kind of experience. And Jason was saying Bateman on the, on the show the other day on our podcast that,

that I said, have you ever had a real job, like a real world job? And he said, no. And he said, I really wish I'd had. And I can see that he, he was kind of, cause he's, we've talked about it before and we were talking about shit jobs. I was, you know, I tree planted for a summer. We got 7 cents a tree up in Northern Ontario. Wow. And attacked by black flies. And it was just a horrible, crappy job, sleeping in tents. It sucked.

Yeah, yeah. But that experience, I've always taken that with me. I used to replace water main and sewage pipe with this and take out the old pipe and bust it with a sledgehammer in a hole. Yeah. And I did that for five months that fucking sucked yep uh but you know the experience incredible yeah and it makes you appreciate too like the times when you might want to get crabby on a movie set because you have to wait or something like that of course yeah yeah that's why i always laugh too

when you hear when i i love the sort of the refrain of uh you know you know liberal uh left coast and west coast uh you know elites or whatever you know hollywood and i'm like fuck you bro i fucking earned everything i didn't have any success doing what i'm doing until i was 33 yeah all i did was fucking work a million jobs all i fucking did was was work hard and and or and people will say well yeah well you grew up a rich kid fuck off i fucking earned everything i didn't i wasn't given fucking anything you can suck it there's not yeah i mean if you bust it up sewer pipe that's's not like, there's not a lot of, there's not a lot of LA kids doing that. No fucking way.

And there are not a lot of people period, you know, who would take that. It's a tough job. It sucked. Yeah. I had to, I was so broke. I had to ride a bike five miles to the shop to get, to then get assigned onto one of the crews at the thing. So I'd ride my bike five miles. It wasn't like a fucking joy ride.

I was in Winnipeg, Manitoba and I ride a bike and then get on the truck and go and bust pipe for 12 hours and then come home. Yeah. And, and I, my arms were so sore that I couldn't fucking lift it. And all I do is go home and get into bed and fall asleep.

Yeah. Yeah. And just pray that the nightmare would be over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There is something. And there are also two is like, and fall asleep yeah yeah and just pray that the nightmare would be over yeah yeah yeah there is something and and there also too is like i find because i look back on like when i worked for a moving company and and i would i would realize because i was also trying to start to get into film production at that time and i you know i'd work for you know 10 11 hours moving and then i'd get on the

bus and be going home and just be a sweaty filthy mess but i would feel like okay but it's done like i don't i don't there's like i don't need to think about that now like that's behind me and i could sort of there's still there are times not so much now because now is weirder than any other time in the world but sure when i've when i've like longed for like just the simplicity of like the job of a house painter like you go you paint the house and then you go home and you're not a house painter anymore you don't have to worry about the next day painting the house like it'll be there, you know? I, my sort of fantasy moment that takes me away sometimes is I remember I had this like studio apartment on 21st Street in New York that I lived in for years. And all I had was, I had a futon, not even a full futon, just the mattress on the floor. On the floor.

On the floor that during the day i would roll up uh and because it was studio so my bedroom was also my living room yeah and i'd roll it up and then i had a i had a tiny tv that somebody gave me and i didn't have cable actually i stole cable i think shit that's a federal offense isn't it um it's okay the statute of limitations because you're really old now so that was a while ago that's a federal offense isn't it um it's okay the statute of limitations because you're really old now so that was a while ago that's a good point yeah and it was on a board between two milk crates and um but it was a very simple time in my life i had no responsibilities i was a young man and uh there are moments you moments, you know, when things, you already look back

and I go, I didn't realize how good I had it. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Other people, people listening to, I, and I always, this is the problem with like talking about this kind of stuff is there's people listening to this who have a TV between two milk crates who are like, fuck you. You know?

But yeah, but they can say fuck you. But the thing is, I did too. Yeah, yeah. So like, you know, it's not some disingenuous, like it's not some romantic notion. I know. Because I saw it in a picture. Right, right.

I fucking had it. And I ate cereal three meals a day. So they can go fuck themselves. Wow. Yeah. You hate poor people. No, I hate your listeners because they're so mean can't you tell my loves are growing well now but you do you go off to new york city 20 years old yeah that what was that like did it was it party? Did you have any connections to anybody? Did you go there completely

alone? Completely alone. With a cardboard suitcase, got off the bus, and immediately got into sex work? I didn't. Well, I got into sex work a little bit before, it kind of pre-lapped, a little bit before I got there. On the bus, on the way there.

Why not? I always love this story about Steve Martin inducting. Lorne Michaels was getting some award, and Steve says, Lorne Michaels moved to New York from Canada with nothing but the shirt on his back and a cool million bucks. That one made me laugh. It's funny. Um, yeah, I didn't know,

I didn't know a soul. I moved to, I moved to New York. I was 20. It was, um, the summer of 1990 and, um, going to acting classes, right. That was to go to acting at, uh, Lee Strasburg in New York. And to go to acting at Lee Strasberg in New York. And, you know, I got to know people through that, you know, and those people made some great friends back in those days. And then, yeah, that's how it started. I just started doing that. I didn't have much of a plan. I probably should have had more of a plan.

I didn't other than just go and do this and just kind of take it step by step. And I did that and it took a number of years. And it wasn't until about a few years later, through this kind of way off Broadway show that we did. I went to meet an agent and, um, an agent came to see it and said, come in and talk to us. And I went to meet them at the old William Morris. And, um,

this, uh, this agent said, Oh, you should go and talk to our voiceover department. And I was like, what's that? And,

uh, they said, you know, like the voices you hear on commercials and stuff like that. And I was like, Oh yeah and uh they said you know like the voices you hear on commercials and stuff like that and i was like oh yeah i guess i never really thought that that yeah right there are voices on because i was so dumb you know yeah yeah i do oh i do yeah and right and so i started you know i booked a couple commercials and i booked a couple voiceover things first um but i didn't get my first professional like acting gig until uh 1995 oh wow as an actual actor so how long were you in new york before that happened five years wow five years and i auditioned a bunch

and then i started i did a couple indie films and then i started auditioning for i remember they were like do you do some sitcom audition for some sitcoms i was like no i'm a serious actor of course i needed the money i needed a job and and i was like yeah but yes i'll read for a sitcom and um and then i read for a bunch of pilots. It wasn't until 96 that I booked a pilot with Kevin Pollack. He was the star of this pilot for Warner Brothers for CBS, whom I'm still friends with. Did that entail LA trips? Like, was the pilot season go to LA?

I was doing it in New York and then flew out to LA to do this pilot. Yeah. Flew out to LA to test for it. Um, back in the day they'd fly you out here to test for the pilot. So I flew out, tested, got it,

stayed, did the pilot, thought like everything's changing. Then went back to New York and then nothing changed. Yeah. Um, you know, the show didn't happen,

whatever, but I started testing more frequently for shows and I started spending, you know, like that. I remember that next year I tested for like five pilots. Then the next year I tested for like eight pilots and every year I was testing for a lot. Uh, I was getting closer and closer for stuff. Um, and then I did, I continued to do a couple like indie films in there. And then it was 99. I did a pilot with Michael Malley, our friend. And he had a big pilot deal at NBC. And that one went too, didn't it?

And that one ended up going. And we did seven episodes. The only two of them aired and we got canceled. Again, it was one of those like, this is going to happen. Finally, everything's solved. Then boom. Yeah, yeah. And it was just a lot of that,

uh, until it's such a weird thing too, because you are being successful. Like in terms of like what you set out to do, you are being wildly successful just in getting to do that. But it's still just like shoving your dick in the dirt, you know, like just like,

Oh, right. Here we go. Um, it's, it's, it's still just like shoving your dick in the dirt you know like just like totally all right here we go um it's it's it's of course you're right you're being one and and that didn't escape me i didn't feel like a failure like i i knew what the numbers were i'd gone to school with a million people i knew tons of actors who weren't getting work or getting even the opportunity so the fact that i was getting the opportunity was a big deal. I understood that, but it did feel at a certain point after years, it was like, in what way is the, in what shape is the disappointment going to come in this time?

Yeah. And it's not, it's also too, it's not that like you're being a baby about it. The business makes you feel shitty. The business makes you feel bad about it they come and you start out in something they're like we love you we love you and then it's like you know what we don't love you and sorry but you know it's just it's not good it's not good and that's the feeling you get from these people it's not like well you know it's this mysterious concoction and who knows and sorry, but we still love you.

It was, it's just like, we love you. Oh no, you know what? Fuck you get out. And it's hard not to take it personally. Yeah. It's very hard not to take it personally. And yet I understand, I understand too, that, that I, that that ultimately would be my demise. If you do take it personally, that you've got to, you've got to find a way to redirect that. And that's always been, I feel lucky that I've been able to do that, I will say. I don't know why. Maybe, again, it's just sort of this naivete or something that I have. But I've managed to, I've had a lot of disappointments, certainly professionally in my life.

And that's okay. Yeah. I don't, as I've gotten older too, I've gotten a better job of, uh, I've talked about this a lot. I, I, I don't, I don't sort of gauge how I am as or where I'm at as a person emotionally or mentally or whatever is, is not, is not indexed to, to um my profession and how i'm doing professionally it's just not and because i know it's not a recipe for success um emotionally yeah so so i yeah so i had a lot of disappointment it wasn't until rest of development that actually like got the but even i will say i talked about this with somebody uh maybe I talked about it with Dax, but the day I got arrested, the day that Arrested Development happened, and I actually got it coming out of great failure because I'd been fired from a show the year before, which felt really crushing. Is this 2000, 2001?

This is early 2003. 2003 okay yeah i had done a pilot the year before i'd done a pilot year before and before and the year before i'd done one almost every year and i did one with uh sherry o terry that got that did not get picked up and then i did one with um at cbs called still standing and i that did get picked up and then i did one with um at cbs called still standing and i that did get picked up and then i was fired or my character was written out but in effect i was fired yeah and it was a real bummer and i then uh a year later had that not happened i wouldn't have been available for arrested development um which changed everything and but the day i found out that i that it was going and it was going to series and that I was on the show, it was like years, it felt different and years of frustration kind of melted through.

And I actually wept. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, that's sweet. Yeah, I really did. I actually like cried really hard. Wow. Because it was frustrating and it was hard kind of keeping your chin up. Um, and I, I'm sure that a lot of people will listen and be like, Oh, shut up. You fucking love. People are like actors. I'm like, you know what, man, it's not easy. It's, it's not easy. You take a of fucking a lot of water come you take on a lot

of water in this thing it's a it's a you gotta it's always weird to me like one thing that's that and i still haven't figured it out is that really truly people doing this for a living and i mean and i and i mean all different walks of performer type because there are lots of different types of performers sure yeah yeah yeah but they're they're like almost everybody has issues with rejection almost everybody like cannot take it like has it like a higher sort of like it hurts more so we go into this fucking business that's a rejection party it's crazy to me you know and then the part that even goes further is and then and then there's award shows where the people who have actually really done very very well and overcome that rejection parade set themselves

up for more rejection 100 where there's like's like, oh, there's eight people, but only one gets to feel good and the rest of you get to feel bad because you lost. 100%. And I don't put any stock anymore in those, especially those award things. They're just weird.

The Emmys, and I'm sure there'll be Emmy voters like, well, I'll definitely never vote for you now okay but i'm like okay i'm i have i've been nominated this year i don't know what's happening with bojack yet but like i've been nominated between actor and producing bojack seven times yeah never fucking won and i'm like so what yeah fucking cares and people like yeah yeah that's easy to say. I mean it. And they asked me to do, this is probably controversial,

not really controversial in the grand scope of things, but BoJack was nominated and they wanted me, and I've just never won and they never, they asked us to do like a thing for the voters

and stuff and I just said, nah, I'm not into it. No thanks. Wow, you should do it.'s a netflix would like you to do that i was like nah i'm kind of done with that i don't give a shit yeah

fucking forget it why to go and do a thing for this panel for the thing fuck that who fucking cares who fucking cares and it's and the people that will tell you because i've had friends that have kind of been in oscar running kind of stuff and that's the really like people that's crazy yeah people don't know but like if you're in a movie you get you get cast in a really good movie and you're it's a really good part and you do really well and people start to say you might win an Oscar. That means for, I don't know, six months, you have to go to a constant stream of parties and shaking hands and kissing ass

and just dinners with strangers. It's this campaign you're running for office to maybe get an Oscar, which what it does for you, it makes you feel good. And I'm sure I'm speaking, you know, hypothetically, it makes you feel good. It puts your rate up. You can make more money. But ultimately what it does is it brings cachet to the people who own the thing.

You know, sure. Also, like nobody's going to remember. You don't remember who won last year, do you? Who cares? It's got a guess for the person. But again, like, maybe the person, especially with an Oscar on a different level, maybe there's that thing like a two-time Oscar winner,

blah, blah, blah. That feels good. But what does it really bring you? And when you've got to go do do, I remember hearing about a guy who's still a very active director or writer when he won a couple of years ago. And somebody said, he's the best campaigner, this dude. They said that he goes, he started in like October. He goes to all these dinners.

He goes tirelessly. He goes to screenings every night and he talks about it and he ended up winning. And people were like in this town were saying, yeah, he won. It was good, but he worked it till the end. And I'm like, well, then he didn't win by the merits of. Right. Did he win an acting award or a campaigning award? Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. an acting award or a campaigning award yeah exactly yeah and like how can i guess he can feel better about it but he knows that he won because he did all that shit would have won without it like they should there should be no campaigning allowed yeah it should be just and the other thing is you know people say again i've never been a part of a film like that and so i don't know what that process is like but they you start in october and they're not getting paid um to do that either yeah you know so that's just they can't work they're just doing that yeah yeah i don't feel bad yeah by the way i'm just i'm just too curmudgeonly for it and well and it's like you were gonna say like who's ultimately what's it gonna matter in the long run like who like at the end of your life, is it going to?

I don't think I ever told you this, but like this is when this happened. I had elderly relatives that were in assisted living and I needed to find them a new assisted living place. And so I was looking at all these different, going and touring them. living place and so i was looking at all these different going and touring them and there was this one kind of far flung out you know in la like not close and and sad like basically it was it was like the cheaper one of the cheaper ones and you get what you pay for because it was just like old people sitting staring into space and and it was a bummer and but the lady the super chipper lady because they all kind of have you know like sales people that are like you're gonna love it and then it's like oh no i'm not it smells like pee and everyone seems sad um but she stopped we were walking

down a hallway and there was a woman sitting, again, just an elderly woman staring into space. And she stopped in front of her like she was a museum display, pointed at her and said, three-time daytime Emmy winner. And then we walked on. I was just like, oh, my God. If you were trying to bum me out, lady, you could not have done a better job. Oh, my God. Daytime, three-time, day-by-day Emmy winner. Oh, my God.

Oh. That's one of the worst things I've ever heard. Oh, it was really. It was like one of those things that was so awful it was exciting. You know what I mean? I was kind of jazzed by it. Like, oh, my God, that's like, it was like one of those things that was so awful. It was exciting. You know what I mean? Like I was like kind of jazzed by it. Like, oh my God, that's such a bummer. That's such a bummer.

Like, wow. I know. Thank you life. It's yeah. I mean, yeah, it's such an embarrassing. Well, again, it is to get back to our original thing. It was, it's such a ultimately constantly demeaning business to be in on so many levels. And, yeah, I just, I don't know.

There are days where you're just like, oh, God, it's such a bummer. Yeah. What did you set out to do? Did you have like a thing in mind or were you kind of just catch as catch can and see where this goes? Yeah. I think that I used to joke that I wanted to be a serious actor. I wanted people to take me seriously when I was young. And then I kind of fell into doing comedy by mistake or that people laughed at my serious acting.

But I didn't really have a plan. I mean, one of my regrets is that I never got into sketch comedy early. Yeah. And then I never did it because I i i would have really liked it and you would have been really good i mean you are good at it you know i mean you know i mean because it's arrested is like yes it's a sitcom but it's also sketches it's yeah of course it's sketches yeah and so like all you guys who were from chicago went to Chicago, you know, especially when Amy and I started dating and sort of meeting all you guys, like I was like, oh, there was this whole world. I would have loved to have been part of that.

Yeah. To just fuck around. You know me. I just want to fuck around all the time. It was the best. It was just, you know, like those days of youth of just being around like you're you know you spend your whole life doing whatever and thinking ah maybe i can do this and then all of a sudden you're just around all these fucking weirdos that are just like you

that just want to fuck around and have fun when i see pictures of like when i see pictures of you guys and you and like stack and like all and mck and all those guys, all you guys back in Chicago back in the day and Besser and Ian and Walsh and whatever. And I always like, I'm like, stories of IO and like the water leaking and Sharna freaking out or whatever the fuck it is. It's so weird. I'm always like, that's, that's the thing I wish I had done.

That's my, honestly, it's my only kind of regret. Yeah. Do you think, and when you, when you and Amy started dating, was that,

and well, you obviously said that was kind of when it opened up your mind to that. Did it also open you up to the notion of being a comedian more? I was already starting to do sitcom pilots and stuff, so I was kind of in that, moving in that direction as well, simultaneously. as well as simultaneously um you know amy and i started dating about seven eight months before uh she started on snl um i'd kind of moved briefly to la to get out of new york and um and then she came to la and we started dating when I was living in LA and then she was basically kind of living in LA. And then all of a sudden she was like, I think I'm going to do SNL. And I said, okay, let's go.

And I got rid of the apartment in LA, moved back to New York. Um, and it was in that time that I started doing more, but at the same time it opened my eyes to it. Certainly. But, uh, then I started doing a play in New York. At one point, I was doing this play in New York right before I got arrested development. And then Arrested came out of the blue. But it all kind of happened at the same time.

The first couple of years that Amy was on SNL, there was a moment where I thought, I'm just going to keep doing my voiceover stuff and maybe I'll just never make it as an actor and that's okay. Yeah. And I was kind of at weird peace with it. Yeah. Doing this play and I just thought, oh, fuck, I hated it.

Was it a drama? It was a drama and they hated, she hated me, the writer of this play, it was just like an awful awful whenever i've done anything that's been sore well i've done very little just like straight up drama and it's always like i'm always amazed like no one wants to have any fun like you know like it's the difference of a set of the set of like that whenever i've done something like that i'm like wow what what when do we start like goofing around you know like when do we start like during the during the run-throughs where we're not filming anything like where we start fucking around the lines and teasing each other and doing funny accents like never really this is

never you people do this all day you just act all serious about this and you believe you know and it's always been like tv shit so it's always like the dumbest you know like well you know what's weird about that first of all i mean right we and you and i have been on enough of those sets and sets like that together with enough funny people where it's like everybody wants to fuck around you know as you know and on arrested with mitch like mitch wants to fuck around you know yeah as you know and on arrested with mitch like mitch wants to fuck around too absolutely he's like yeah i guess we got to do this scene and then let's meet back at video village so we can do bits on each other right i know it almost sometimes the work gets in the way of of like what you really are doing there which is fucking around you know totally totally totally totally and then some there's this thing I'm thinking about doing this actually serious movie in the next couple months.

And it's weird that we're talking about this because I guess last night as I was kind of drifting off to sleep, I was thinking about what is my approach going to be on set? Because I think I am going to do this thing. And I thought this is quite serious. going to be on set because i think i am going to do this thing and i thought i this is quite serious and like because on set as you know i and just in life but we're the same we both fuck around a lot and i'm this thing is quite serious i'm going to have to concentrate quite hard and what is my who's my set persona yeah yeah you know and you got to feel it out too because you want to be respectful of other people's processes yeah you know and so you know so there are going to be some people that probably don't well i mean there's a lot of actors that aren't they don't

have great senses of humor like you know i mean oh there's a lot of actors with great senses of humor. Like, you know, I mean, there's a lot of actors with no sense of humor, especially about themselves. So, boy, yeah, that would be interesting to see going into that situation how much you can really fuck around. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be a tough one.

It's going to be... Well, tell Scorsese I said hi. Oh, I will. Yeah. By the way, it's just be a tough one it's gonna be well tell Scorsese I said hi oh I will yeah but by the way it's just m-dog that's what he liked by the way that's what he likes I was drinking coffee I almost did a spit take there yeah cradle him like a baby he's a little fella well now do you have uh I mean are there unfulfilled ambitions are there things that like you wish you were doing that you you know like one of these days i mean you're doing this dramatic movie that sounds like yeah that's kind of something that's been yeah i've been doing that i mean i'm gonna do that i'm gonna do i mean that's been a desire

i guess is what you know yeah But it's not one of those, like, I can't wait to show the world. There's none. I have zero. If, if I, that's a young person's thing anyway.

Yeah. It's gone. And my sort of, I really just think about like, how can I be just happy today? I just want to spend time with the kids as much as I can. And yeah. Uh,

and screw around. And, and, um, you know, I'm doing to spend time with the kids as much as I can and, and screw around. And, and, you know, I'm doing the podcast now with Jason and Sean, which has been fun. And I bet that's, I do,

I do envy you guys getting to be there with each other. That's nice. You know? Yeah, it's exactly, it's just fun. And if it wasn't fun, we wouldn't do it.

Yeah. And so we're doing that. And then whose idea was that? Mine. Yours. it. Yeah. And so we're doing that. And then, um. Whose idea was that? Mine. Yours. Yeah. Well, well, I had an idea. I was going to do a podcast.

I was thinking about it after I did, uh, Conesy's. Yeah. And, uh, I'd been thinking about it a little bit before. And then I did Conesy's and then I was like, and then, uh, and then Sean, I told Bateman and then Bateman told Sean and then Sean called me and said, I know you want to do a podcast. Let's all do one together. And I was like, well, wait a second. I was going to do one.

And they're like, I know, but we're going to do it together. And I was like, I'm such a pushover. You got bullied into it. I know. I really did. By the biggest bullies in show business, Sean Hayes and Jason Bateman. And we got together the week before kind of everything stopped in the world and talked about it. And then the world stopped and we're like, you know what?

Kind of, well, yeah, I guess we should do it now because we're all just at home. Yeah. And that's how we started. And so I've been doing that. And then I've just been writing a lot more. Mark Chappie, my partner and I, we've been doing that and then i've just been you know i've been writing a lot more we've mark chapel my chappy my partner and i we've written a couple movies we sold a couple and uh so we've been doing that and that's been fulfilling in different ways yeah it's been great i don't know i kind of feel like i'm doing what i want to do and you know i did last year i did this lego show which the kids which was really popular with

kids and i'm really happy it was fun it's a fun show fun show a lot of families watched it together during quarantine which was nice to hear um i had a lot of fun doing it um so i think we'll do more of those and and um yeah you know yeah i don't know. I wish I had a better plan. I should have had a plan all these years. I don't, I honestly don't think, I don't think that that's the way to go. I think that I, and I've said this before, I think it's the focus just on kind of a process, you know, like your process that you take to different situations and then remain open to things.

I mean, there are some people that it works where they cannot like there are people that i've known in my life where they're like i gotta be i gotta write this screenplay and then i gotta direct this thing and i gotta gotta gotta you know yeah and i just and i would look at them and i would think like oh i wish i had a little of that but then i just realized no there i'm just a different type i'm kind of like a i wish i had a little of that but then i just realized no there i'm just a different type i'm kind of like a i a i like to collaborate a i like to i don't like to be alone that much i have a drive to want to be acknowledged as you know my own uh entity separate from that motherfucker conan um but that was the most real you've been this whole

time no no no i mean but there are times like i you know but but i've been like the star of a sitcom and it doesn't it wasn't that great like it wasn't for me i like i like being part of the group you know and that's more fun because i I care more about the doing of the thing than the having the thing or the thing being out there. I'm with you. I care way more about the doing, too. Is it a good experience? Is it fun? And, yeah, I'm the same way.

I like to spend time with people I love and who make me laugh. I'm the same way I like to spend time with people I love and who make me laugh and I was talking to my buddy this morning and he was saying he was saying what a great gift to be able to look at the world that every day you're trying to I was saying something about we were talking about like

looking for the what the bid is or what the funny he goes you're so lucky that you spend so much of your time every day looking for the laugh yeah it's a great it's a great perspective of life and you do too and it keeps you keeps you going i i mean what's the alternative the alternative is a fucking bummer man yeah yeah i'd always rather laugh and people say to me all the time there's other buddy always goes like joking jokingly, he'll say, you know, grow up. And I go, why?

Yeah. Yeah. Why would I? What are you talking? What does that even mean? Yeah. I mean, yeah, I do bits that most 50 year old dudes don't do. That would be embarrassing for like what a 50 year old should do.

Yeah. I act like a fucking punk teenager a lot of the time. Yeah. And I'm okay with it. Yeah, yeah. Although your skateboarding skills have really, really terrible. Well, yeah, I basically cannot skateboard. Yeah.

You've broken your hip like six times. It's not great. It's not a great look, but I dress real young. Oh, too young if you ask me. People look at me and they go, that guy's young. Oh, no, wait. Wait, wait a second. Wait, we got closer.

We got within 20 feet. Oh, Jesus is old. It must be an undercover cop or something. Well, I mean, we kind of got to like sort of, you know, to have fun is sort of the what have you learned part of this podcast. Yeah. You don't need to follow the rules, right? No, not really. executives who were like 15 years younger than me were you know like had notes for the show which i

i mean basically it's like look i'm gonna talk to fucking people about their lives that's it like that's kind of it but there was a couple like a couple notes early on after i did the first one so we're like you haven't really explicitly answered the three questions or you know i got into the three questions and maybe you should split it up into like 20 minute chunks. And I just was like, yeah, yeah, that's a good note. Fuck that. And then just, I didn't ever do it. But I mean, what, what kind of a soul crushing existence was there was some, the notes process sometimes crazy, crazy to me.

Yeah. People got, it's their job to tell somebody something like that's and that's what and i can't imagine what it's like to be into something where you know you hire somebody like you and then and then like have to tell you how to be you and do you you know yeah it's yeah, it's mind blowing to me. Mind blowing. Yeah. Well,

but anyway, what have you learned? Come on. I got to answer these people. Oh, well, sorry. The thing I've learned,

I've just learned, I think, to not take myself too seriously. Yeah. To not take all of it too seriously. And of course you do, there are things, you know, that you have to, you want to do a good job.

You want things to be good. If you're working on something, you want it to be good. But, and you want to be professional, whatever the fuck that means. But you got to have a sense of humor about yourself, no matter what it is. And I don't know, I guess I've kind of coming back to what we were talking about before, I guess, because my, my dad, my parents, but specifically my dad, it made me kind of go through my paces enough as a kid and as a teenager and a young man that, uh, I don't, I got a kind of a good sense of who I am as a person. Um, and I'm not defined by what I do in, and I don't think I'm a lot different than I was

when I first started doing this stuff. I'm not that much different of a person as I was when I was 20. Yeah. I don't think, I mean, I didn't know you when you were 20 but i would say that if anything you're just like kind of calmer yeah you know i mean you're just yeah you're like more patient and kind of just more centered and um not as much as much of an asshole you know yes that's it no you can name it for sure for sure i was kidding but i know you were yeah uh yeah i think that that's it i i think i've learned to just you know take it all in stride and that that nothing is forever either that's the other thing we we attach so much importance to things as they happen and in the moment and i think that i used to be like oh shit this is the way it's going to be by the way good or bad yeah it's always going to be like this or it's always going to be shitty like this and that life just kind of as it keeps moving

things change and it's yeah nothing nothing's forever yeah um so stay stay flexible yeah you know stay gold pony boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That too. Whatever. I don't know. I'm just trying to seem young by quoting 80-year-old books. Well, I love you.

I love you too. And this is really exciting to get to talk to you. And I hope, you know, maybe we should do a socially distanced hang sometime. Let's 100%. Yeah. Yeah. I got to see that baby. I'll just, I'll touch it with a six foot long stick, like a, you know, like a broom handle.

Well, I'm going to send over some plaster of Paris and we'll get a mold of your hand. And then so we can put it on the end of the stick. Sure. You know what I mean? Right. I actually, I actually, I, there are molds on my hand, but they're fist shaped. They're available on the internet. They're in silicone.

Uh-oh. So I can just get you one of those. Uh-oh. Oh. Roxanne, you don't have to paint your nails tonight, whatever the lyrics are. Whatever. All right. Well, Will Arnett um thank you for for doing this

uh and your podcast is called smartless as in less smart yes right less smart because i would have gone with like the three dipshits it was taken yeah that's barbara that's's Barbara Boxer's podcast. Thanks for having me, man. I love you, Andy. I miss you, too. I miss you very much.

And thank you all for listening to this episode of The Three Questions. And there will be another one next week. There's nothing anyone can do about it. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a big, big love for you. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco and Earwolf production. It's produced by me, Kevin Bartelt, executive produced by Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Chris Bannon and Colin Anderson at Earwolf.

Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, associate produced by Jen Samples and Galit Zahayek, and engineered by Will Becton. And if you haven't already, make sure to rate and review The Three Questions with Andy Richter on Apple Podcasts.