The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Yassir Lester

Episode Date: October 13, 2020

Comedian and writer Yassir Lester talks with Andy Richter about sneaking into open mics, working on Robot Chicken and beyond, and provoking social commentary with a fake Jersey Mike’s sub.

hello internet uh this is andy richter and you are listening to the three questions and i am very excited to have a friend of mine i think i can call we're friends aren't we we're friends man we're sort of like more uh online you know like i know you more but that's the way everything i guess yeah but also i'll say that like i mean that's where we definitely like built a rapport really but also i'll say that like yeah most friendships live in some form of like a phone or a computer like we're not seeing our friends every day it just doesn't happen yeah i'm sorry i cut you off no that's no no it's okay well it's it's yas or lester for anyone hey everybody or who didn't or who just like i don't know blindly clicked play

maybe don't put my name in the little description. I have to. I want people to listen. They're not going to just listen for me. They will. No. I will. They will.

I will. No one gets me. I'll listen blindly. I have only so many family members listening to this, which is why I can't talk about any of them because they all listen. Oh, God. It's a deadly combination.

Next podcast, I'm doing anonymously so I can really spill shit about everybody. So how are you? Where are you coming from? Your house? Oh, yeah. I'm coming to you live from Glendale, California. Oh, I'm in Burbank. Look at us.

We're so close. Look at us. We're so close. Yeah, we moved up here during the pandemic, which was crazy. Like when? What time of year? What month? We were in West Hollywood. We got in a one-bedroom West Hollywood.

And then as quarantine hit, my girlfriend Chelsea Devontez, as you know, she was like, we need to get a dog and i had been saying for she was saying that before all of this and i was like we don't need a dog in a one-bedroom apartment it's just cruel to the dog yeah yeah quarantine hit she's like i got us a dog and i was like okay lost that battle uh then yeah then our neighborhood just started getting wild like i'll say this and i don't know if we have any west hollywood listeners but like y'all aren't taking this seriously like no one's wearing a mask everyone's having parties and stuff still so it was already like popping off crazy

then you know there was protests for george floyd and ahmad arbery and brianna taylor and uh our neighborhood was kind of like ground zero for like people being like we need to set things on fire and rob sneaker stores which i will say i agree with both like do both but also i do want to sleep now you're from georgia you're southern yeah from marietta right is that it marietta georgia boy yeah what i'll say is go ahead no go ahead you say it first you say okay i was gonna say we moved a lot marietta it's like and and kids who move a lot i feel like have this because like born in miami lived in cincinnati then like fresno oakland oh we like settled and so it's like marietta is in my bones like marietta

is the place that raised me i see and it's where i'm from quote unquote right but we moved a lot but it's like where you know everything that defines who i am is marietta and uh and what age were you there from uh got there when i was like 10 okay and left when i was 21 so it's technically you know like at this point i've actually lived in la longer than i was in marietta but it's like from 10 to 21 are the most important you know yeah yeah years of your isn't that weird though when you figure out like you were you're away from somewhere longer than you were there yeah yeah like it's really weird it's like because when i think about it like you know like i'm from chicago and then it's like yeah but you know what you haven't lived in chicago for like right fucking 25 years almost 30 years what the fuck are you talking about you're from chicago

you know like a person a person born when you left is like a 25 year old yes like it's like such a crazy thought to have and i think about that too i'm just like dang like someone born the day i got to la is driving a car right now it's like it's safe yeah and well and then you and then it's like you don't think of yourself as like an angeleno you know what i mean like yeah it took me years and years before i was like no i really need to admit to myself that i live in los angeles well here's my this isn't just an extended trip you know yeah but here's the question for you do you talk to people not family but do you talk to people from back home that aren't not not much okay see i

talk to like my georgia people oh and that's what does ground me in the sense of like oh i guess i am an angelino because it's like i'll be like beyond burgers and they're like what are you talking about you know what i mean like yeah yeah yeah yeah like oh yeah yeah okay i get it yeah we don't we don't have smoothies in georgia like right right right yeah yeah no it's the same it's like uh with certain food things too that you just get used to here that people there you know like that and i mean my it's not like my family are a bunch of hicks there but they know stuff but then but there is stuff that they're just like you know you'll be like uh korean food and they're like what what is that right what is right you know like yeah okay um you can't be like, Korean food. And they're like, what is that? What is Korean?

You know, like, okay. You can't be like, oh, I could go for some Persian food right now. Yeah, yeah. You're like, who? Yeah, no, and the people, and also, too, most of my Chicago people that I still am in contact with are not in Chicago. They're here. Yeah. in contract with are not in Chicago.

They're here. You know, I mean, because it's like I had, well, like high school people I rarely speak to. There's just been so much passage of time and stuff. And I'm from a small town and was and I'm not a small town person.

So I kind of was like I was glad to get out of there. there i mean it's a nice place full of nice people but it just was like stifling you know yeah so i feel that yeah um now you're uh your dad is palestinian correct yeah that's the name yeah palestinian yeah and you're and you're and so that's also your uh your membership in Hezbollah that's because of that right yeah yeah well you know here's the thing is that like I you know for the Jewish people listening their birthright is you know they get to go to Israel Jerusalem they see all the stuff hook up with dudes yeah hook up with dudes all the things uh for a Palestinian

it's your your Hezbollah they're just like you're hey it doesn't matter where you are you're in baby i'm not even sure is it hezbollah or is it hamas i think it's hamas right hezbollah i think hezbollah is more lebanese right yeah yeah yeah oh um what do we know well it's like we go with the riff regardless yeah exactly and now they can't come after us because we're ignorant do you ever do you ever get like uh like speaking of ignorance like double ignorance against you as a palestinian and a black man well you know what's i'll say this like or is black just all anybody sees? Well, here's the thing. So in Georgia, because also I wasn't, you know, my dad left when I was truly like six hours old.

He was just like, nah, not for me. Which, thank God. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, that's got to, well, we'll talk about that later. But that's got to like, that's got to imprint on you. Like, you know, like just that kind of. We'll talk about it. but that's gotta that's gotta like that's gotta imprint on you like you know like just that kind of ah well we'll talk about it okay okay yes and no but uh so in georgia like and also just when you're a kid like it's not like kids don't see the nuance of it you know so there's like black yasser you know like in georgia it's like the black boy you know yeah yeah and then i

got to la and people were like well you look like you might be black and daisy of some kind or perhaps are you from uh kurdistan or you know like and they had only and i was just like look i don't know what you mean like yeah yeah mom is black dad according to him is palestinian like i could be wrong if he was if i found out tomorrow he was brazilian i'd be like all right you know that also makes sense like who knows and it doesn't and it doesn't change a goddamn thing literally nothing except that i'd be like all right do i eat more plantains like what is that Is that even the right food? Like, you know what I mean? Like, I truly have no, and to the imprinting of it,

it's like, so me and my brother and sister all have different fathers and like, for a set of circumstances, clearly like it didn't work out with my mom between any of them. She shot all of them. I'm just kidding. Can you imagine? It was like,

she shot each one of her husbands. Accidentally. But I'll say that like for me and like it could be a different experience for my brother or my sister but for me i i'm not someone who ever misses what they don't have true like even when i was like at my you know brokest like homeless sleeping in a car when I was here, like, I know a lot of people were like, if I get this one job, it'll change everything.

And it's like, I always felt that way. But I also was like, look, if I don't get whatever this thing is, be it a job on TV or a job, literally, uh,

you know, best buy where I worked. I've always felt like in this moment and this station in life, I am surviving. Am I crushing it? No, but I'm surviving and I do know I can survive like this. So a nebulous thing doesn't come through,

I'm okay because I know i can handle this i don't want things to get worse right you know i don't want to have to keep climbing uphill to be back at zero but it's like okay i know i can be okay living like this yeah so that's kind of how i felt about it that i'll also say that our mom truly and i know people say this about single moms all the time but it's just phenomenal i mean like she really you know worked multiple jobs but still like like because you know especially being in this like pandemic thing it's like you know it's now it's like we do laundry and we cook and we clean and all the things that like you know and this is sound very la but it's like

all the stuff that's like you know you try to you know it's like we were ordering a lot of food before all this and like very rarely cooked or like you know you'd have someone else try and pick up and do your laundry or clean the place once a month or whatever right right and all that stuff is gone and it's like there's just two of us and we're adults and I am exhausted by it truly. And so like, I'm like, how did you do it? She was just like, I was tired constantly. She was like, I slept maybe four hours, but it's just like to keep you guys alive. That's just like what I had to do, you know?

And so like, so she really was just like a super woman, you know? And so in that, and she was also very much, she's like a very much a free spirit, a free creative spirit, our mom. And because of that, I never felt stifled in any way because when you're, not that she was like, do whatever you want, like go do drugs and stuff. But she was like, explore, you know, like get out there and like, I can't help you financially. But if you want to move to LA, move to LA, you know like get out there and like i can't help you financially but if you want to move to la move to la you know what i'm saying like if you want to travel go travel again like

that those are your choices and when you have someone like that in your life that like though they can't support you with money but they are supporting you emotionally you don't ever feel like there's a hole a because you never had it so you don't know what you're missing yeah and b it's just like this is all i would have ever wanted anyway it's just like yeah the only reason i guess i would have wanted a dad is that i truly believe that our physiology is set up as men to like grow taller and get more hair because we're competing with the physiology of another man in the house so you're short and hairless now is that what you're saying well no i have hair but like but like i can't grow a beard like i just have like wispy hair but my little

brother granted we also have different dads but my little brother isaiah who you also know yeah just through online stuff or whatever because i think he was competing with my physiology is taller than me has like better muscle structure and can grow a full beard and like it could just be the genetics of his dad i think it's almost i'm almost convinced that like his body knows to compete with me and like that's where a lot of it came from i think he could have grown up in a convent and he would still be the same height and you know i don't know and have the same beard i don't like i i mean i i i'm in no room to talk because although i did have an older brother i have a brother that's three years older but okay i didn't you know i

didn't my dad left or you know my i shouldn't say my dad left but i mean he was in my life but right you know twice a year kind of and you know sunday night phone conversations that was right but uh i did have an older brother but yeah i'm i'm like a big fucking baby i you know i'm and i get more hairless like i used to have some hair on my legs and now like i'm in my 50s and it's all like leaving me i look down i have motherfuckers at the goddamn farmer's market, like, just about a month before this all happened. I'm standing in line waiting for a pupusa, and I hear behind me some guy like,

do you shave those legs? And I think this must be someone I know. Goddamn fucking stranger. But he must have known that, like, recognized me from TV and thought, this guy likes to be insulted yeah and i was just you know and i said i said no it's called old age and you know and thanks for pointing it out in front of a bunch of fucking strangers dude you know but but that's my dream a little bit like i wish like clearly let me keep the hair on top of my head but like if the hair on

my face fell out tomorrow i would be fine i don't want my eyebrows i can't be an eye one of those guys without eyebrows you could draw on i mean i guess i just don't like i'm so sick of shaving because it's not enough to be shaving every day yeah but it's enough that I have to do it. I'm right fucking there with you. I can, the most I can get. Well, you can even see like right now. Yeah.

The most I can get is kind of like rabbinical student. Like that's the best beard I can grow. And it's still, and it just always, and it just looks, you know, it just, it's sad looking.

And I'm like, but it's like, but I still have to shave it because i can't like do that like you actually can get away with a little more stubble your stubble kind of looks better than like i don't know that it's because my hair is light on light skin and now it's fucking gray let's see this just grows longer it doesn't grow in thicker so then it's just like what looks like cool stubble then just becomes like i don't know it looks like a seven pipe cleaners yeah kind of growing out of my face it's disgusting people will people are there people are there hairy people out there

though listening to this and saying shut the fuck up because i can't imagine like the beard that needs to be shaved by 1 p.m you know know like those guys but that's also kind of it's stupid but it also is kind of cool to me like I don't know because it's like so the opposite of like it's like would you rather shave your beard every day at 1pm or just be like

a bald guy like with no eyebrows you know what I mean like laughing ugh I think there's an in between those are the two choices You know what I mean? I think there's an in-between that we can – No, those are the two choices for every dude. Now, in age ranking, where are you? Are you the oldest? Yes, I'm the oldest.

You're the oldest. And is Isaiah second? Yeah, I'm 36. Isaiah is 34. Our sister Brittany is 32. Oh, okay. Yeah. yeah i'm 36 isaiah's 34 or sister britney is 32 oh okay yeah that's a nice even you know sort of sort of uh spread there yeah it's truly as if my mom like had a baby was like i'm gonna wait a year to like see if a guy is like nice to me then like meets a guy gets pregnant she's like i don't like him either you know like and that was kind of her vibe like let my body rest for a year yeah yeah so it's like we're all

a year and nine months apart yeah did she and and did did anybody stick around for a while like so i mean like here's the thing is that like kind of but not i mean like no one of like major importance like she was engaged to a guy when i was like a freshman in high school but he had a ponytail so it's like a black dude with a ponytail which is like that's wow harsh leia like samuel l jackson and jackie brown kind of yeah yeah. Yeah, yeah. But even that same Auburn color. Really? Wow. Yeah, dude.

It was wild. And I'll say, but also it's like when you grow up, and you know this, but it's like when you grow up without a dude in the house and then a dude shows up. Oh, yeah. We're going to do the dishes. It's like, nigga, no, we're not. You're going to do the dishes. Yeah, yeah. I do not have time for this.

Like, you missed all of the parts where I would have earned, you know, you would have earned respect or, like, any sort of disciplinary intimidation. Where you did the work in order to get to say how things are right but you don't get to come in here now and like you know for sure you're like hooking up with my mom and not like i'm gonna be like wow this guy is cool like it's like i don't you know like the only reason i even remotely entertained it for as long as we did is because i'll say isaiah always hated him yeah it was dope my sister you know she was young enough that he did like imprint on her you know but oh you're and i but i was just like look if he makes her happy then i'll then i'll play the game you know what i'm saying but like and like he loved basketball so like that was a plus you know like me and isaiah and my sister

my sister britney we love basketball so it was like that was the plus you know like me and isaiah and my sister my sister britney we love basketball so it's like that was the major plus is that he was like yo here's some like gyms we can go to but like but i was like if having a dad means that like he's kind of annoying but once every three weeks takes you to a basketball gym it's like i don't need one you know but it's like you you're you're like a dad though you know what i'm saying like and is that because of your own father's situation um you know i i've talked about it on here before with people and i i think it's honestly i think i just kind of tried to approximate what a mom does, you know, like, and I, but I mean, I don't even really understand. I'm not even quite sure that there is a gender

difference if you're just going to be devoted to taking care of kids. And I think it mainly comes from growing up in a house run by women for the most part, you know, because even like when I had a stepdad, it, it was still a matriarchy, you know, like he kind of was there and, you know, and occasionally would make noise like he was in charge of stuff, but it's like, no, the decisions were not made by him. Right. Um, and I mean, and he was a, he was a nice nice man but we never really bonded and you know and it ended kind of ugly and and he's the father of my brother and sister my half brother and sister are younger than me yeah so you know and i'm and i don't even you know like it's weird to say half

brother and sister because i don't it's i'm sure it's the same with you i don't think they're they're just your brother and sister yeah they're just your brother and sister. Yeah. They're just my brother and sister. Yeah. But, um, I just was, I, and I, you know,

and this is, I know how this sounds like so woke and like I'm a big fucking ally or anything, but it's like, I really do. I just feel like I see things from a women's perspective a lot more than a lot of men do, because that was the perspective that when I was a kid that was the adult's perspective around me and it was like so like I was able to relate to keeping the house

clean and and cooking for people and the emotional support of people so I just kind of you know and it's like I when I got when I got married and when we had kids, I'd never thought of it like, that's your job, kind of, you know, or I'm making the money, so why the hell should I have to worry about cooking? It's like, no, you know, it's a 50-50 deal at home. Like, it's like, you got to chip in. And scheduling-wise, obviously, I can't be home like it's like you gotta chip in and scheduling wise obviously i can't be home all the time you know and there were and there and it would cause tensions and conflicts sometimes because of the the various kind of inequities in time and in in in, you know, like, you know, like me having a job a lot, you know, a lot of times required kind of a social aspect that, you know,

was not my ex wife's, you know, she didn't have any ownership of it. So it was like, how come I got to do this shit? You know, if I, so, but yeah, I just know being a dad to me is like always been it's always been like where i live the most and like the most you know like the part that i that i care about and the part that makes the rest of it seem just stupid yeah you know like show business or like being like, you know, what our ratings are on the late night talk show that I'm on. It just seems like, yeah,

it's as important as selling insurances to somebody that sells insurance. Right. What I mean? It's like, it's, it's my job and it's important to me. And I, and it's, and it is kind of, there's also a craft involved. Like I produce television that's in addition to being on television and doing stuff I also produce television like yeah I had you know I got to kind of have a holistic view of the whole deal yeah um but yeah but it's like it's it's my job it's it's not my life and it's not the thing you you know what I mean? I kind of, you know, I think it took Conan a long time to get there. I mean, in the times like he told me once, cause, uh,

it was in, it was early in the Conan days and, uh, somebody was doing a story about the whole show and it was kind of like, you know, like they made it over the hump, like everyone was aggressively against them and then they're still on the air and i said something to somebody i don't even remember where the article was from but i said something to the writer i said yeah i said yeah sometimes i worry that conan's like like focused like i hope that he can settle down and have a family and i said because it's i said because when i said i said

because uh when when you're laying in that nursing home bed having met david hasselhoff 14 times is not going to keep the ghosts away and he i don't he didn't read the article because that was in the days when i he may still not read anything but like one of his friends quoted that to him and he said to me he's like man that's fucking cold he's like that just like chill not like it's cold like yeah it's chilling to me yeah i was like well sorry i i worry about you yeah you know i don't want you like just i don't want you to live on this is like bubble gum you can't live on this you know yeah so do you ever want to have kids? I know that's a very invasive question,

but we're talking about it. That's not. I'll say this. I feel like, and again, as someone who was raised in a single parent household for however long you were, especially for men,

and I do think it's just like a uh i and not to be ultra woke dude either but like it is such a gender specific pressure you know because dudes whether whether they grew up with a dad without a dad whatever it's like you can have kids you can not whatever you whatever. You can be Dennis Quaid and have a 20-year-old girlfriend when you're 65. It's just like it's such a different world for us. So I'll say that as of right now, if we have them, we're gonna adopt. I just think there's too many kids in the world in general. Yeah.

Um, but I also don't, I'm, I'm selfish in the sense that like, I do want things to, you know, I have certain milestones in my life that I hope to accomplish. And like, even just getting this dog that we got i'm like this is crazy like you just you're like in service of a dog and like i know that like yes a child is so much more rewarding it grows it talks they can steal a car they're all the things that kids can do but like uh my to my original thesis though i think that there's something that comes with being a person a dude specifically in a single parent household in which the father has left that makes you a little more apprehensive to it not that i think i would like run away or any of that stuff but I do worry that like, do I have the skill set to do this thing?

You know what I mean? Like, it feels like just like for the sake of argument, it's like a woman's body knows when she has a baby to produce milk to, you know what I'm saying? Like all these, all these physiological things happen, right?

The only thing that kind of happens with a man is that they say like you should hold your baby without wearing a shirt so you like imprint on one another and that truly comes from like the idea that sometimes male animals would like eat their young you know so they needed to like have their hormones it somehow trapped into their brain whatever yeah yeah so now now blah blah blah science aside because of that i'm like do i you know like this is a is the real part of the conversation it's like i don't necessarily know that i have what it takes and like even if i do i'm nervous like the actual feeling is what drives me away from it more than drives me to it and i do think that like you have like cousin like baby cousins and stuff like it's like i know i know i could do it i do yeah but like i don't know if i could do it the thing that makes me anxious

is like what if i can't do it 24 7 what if like something happens and i'm like i don't want this life anymore like you know what i'm saying it's like all the things that like and again i know i wouldn't do that because it's just like if that were the case i would have gotten rid of this dog which is much easier to get rid of you know what i'm saying like or you wouldn't or you wouldn't have been a you know like when you and chelsea hit a rough spot you'd just be fuck it i'm out right yeah but no you know you work on it yeah yeah so so i i think like i my me and chelsea have talked about it's like my target age i think is like 40 i don't want to be like old enough that like there's a kid in the house and I'm just like that dad who's just tired.

Like, Oh God. You know? And then it's like, remember those weird kids growing up where there's just like, they'd be six years old. They're like, my dad is 64.

And you're like, there's a lot of, there's my kid. My kids go to school with a lot of those. It's so crazy. Yeah. Like, I don't want my kids to have that

i want my kids to be like me and dad are playing or like yeah i'm riding dad's back and he's pretending to be a dinosaur or whatever yeah yeah but i also like i know right now for me it's like you know i could just show you on the zoom real quick but it's like i'm like still like trying to like get painting and like yeah yeah done and like you know work on things outside of you know the hollywood system because it's like i want that fulfillment too and i'm sure a kid would bring that fulfillment but i also know that like as you know as you were just saying so much of your time is filled with this other stuff work related right yeah you're not just at work there's the

mental aspect of it where it's just like you're thinking about it constantly you're worried about things and you have to go to some stupid dinner you have to talk on the phone to some idiot that like is just gonna say no to a thing anyway like there's just all these things and like i just think right now i'm valuable at the time that i have and like i just want that for a little bit longer before i'm like okay now now it's you know and i know it's going to be fulfilling and all that so the long answer or the short answer to that long you know uh response is that we we are going do it. It's just not right now. So maybe it's been four years.

Yeah, no, I mean, well, first of all, how long have you guys been together, if I may ask? You and Chelsea? Three years, yeah. Like Sarah and I were married for seven years before we had our first child. And we would refer to our, we would refer, and we both did it.

It wasn't just one of us. We would refer to our life pre would refer – and we both did it. It wasn't just one of us. We would refer to our life pre-children as when we were single, like as a couple. Right, yeah, yeah. You know, like – and you're – you know, you are right to be – to approach it cautiously because it's a huge fucking thing. And the thing is, if you're going to – like, if you're going to do it cautiously because it's it's a huge fucking thing and the thing is if you're gonna like if you're gonna do it do it right a like you know like uh so if you're gonna have a kid you got it you're not it's not like a a lease you can get out of it's you know you're gonna be there and you should be there because to me with the exception of people you know like

and this this is this is judgmental and i and it's one of the areas of my life where i'm kind of strict and and and and like it's it's a black and white kind of thing. You can't back out of this deal. You've got to, and it's like, and once the kid's there, it's only about you secondarily. Like, you can't go like, hey, this isn't for me. Unless, you know, unless you're going to make the kid's life worse by being around, you know what I mean? the kids life worse by being around like you know like you know what i mean but um it is kind of the you know in terms of like you know like you said like when your mom what a thought that occurred

to me when you're when you're saying how your mom just said i was tired all the time you there is something like in this in this pandemic like i don't i don't get shit done like I did when I was working. Because there's no vessel holding everything that creates like kind of a tension that you've got to get it done. Right. You know, like the house is a mess. Like the house is a mess. Well, just my kids are going to see it. Who cares?

Right. But when it's, you know, when you're're in life, you've got to get things done. And when you have kids, yeah, you're tired all the time, but you have an incentive for doing things. You don't really have a – you don't get a choice in the matter. You've got to get things done. And I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing like i don't think that you know we have it we have a really easy life when you compare it to the rest of human history right like nobody nobody could fucking kick back except for like five minutes ago we started to be

like in heated houses and running water and toilets you know prior to that it's like you gotta fucking work work work work work yeah and we don't have to do that so much anymore but you know and the way that you do it too because i was worried about it like i don't know how to be a dad it's like you know you just all you gotta do is be you know loving loving respectful just it's all the same shit you do with other people yeah you know loving respectful uh but with a kid you got you know you got to set boundaries with a kid you got to you got to let them know you're in charge because a kid does not want to be without someone in charge that's what you know that's right what

fucks kids up so yeah um well let's get back to marietta um what kind of i mean were you a popular kid were you a gregarious kid i man it's so i don't know because perspective is everything right self-introspection is everything i would absolutely say that like i wouldn't say i was a dork but i'd be like i you know like i think i was much more of a like take it or leave it kind of kid you know like i was like i don't care but you mean like take take you or leave you like this is your yeah yeah yeah like like in terms of just like i don't like i don't have an opinion about him one way or the other is how i think i was perceived but then it's like and how about this because it's a little hard to it's a little hard to define but i i can't tell how much of it is

real or not anymore because i've had you know very, very moderate amounts of success, right? Like, by no means am I, like, a star, but, like, to people back home, it's like, oh, he's been on TV. Like, that means something. You know what I mean? Yeah, well, it does. You're making a living at this. Yeah, yeah.

And that already, that, like, puts you in, like, a tiny at this. Yeah, yeah. And that already, that like puts you in like a tiny percentile. I know, which is crazy to think about. But now it's like if I even just like online, like something will happen where it's like, you know, an interview comes out or an article comes out or whatever it is, right? A press release, like. A podcast. A podcast. Yes. it is right a press release like a podcast a podcast yes uh and but but truly it's like i like the fact that i am talking to you means something and it will mean even more to someone back home where they're like i listened to andy richter's podcast i had no idea you were in la or

blah blah blah you know what i'm saying and yeah and then they'll say something like i always thought you were so funny or so weird or whatever and i'm like that's i do i do not remember any of you speaking to me with any sort of like that's a funny guy like you know what i mean like i don't but that's the problem it's like did i am i misremembering high school because i'll say this i hated high school as like a concept as uh as a reality i i truly you could ask my mom like for a year was just like can i drop out can i drop out please let me drop out like i'll just she's like what are you gonna do it's like i'll just work at mcdonald's i'll just keep working at mcdonald's and like figure it out she's like you're not

dropping out not no i and i didn't know that you could legally drop out at 16 and no one could tell you anything i i hated it i hated every single minute of it i hated like i hated this idea that like and like you know again it's like a very pretentious L.A. thing. But it's, like, I get, like, the Montessori of it all. It's, like, I kind of just, like, if I want, like, when I have kids, it's, like, I want them to, like, essentially walk into, like, an artist's studio with, like, a piano and an easel and a drawing desk. And, like, but then also math books and, like, a chalkboard for equations. And, like, it's, like like do all of it and then figure out the thing that you like the most you know a computer to code uh and like i think had education

been like that for me i just would have had so much of a better time but it's like the what's the term i'm looking for rigidity i don't know just like the i just hated it so i'm like am i painting my experience with that brush or is that the objective reality of it and it's like truthfully it probably lies in the middle somewhere and truth be told it's like it is because i have a little bit of you know we'll say cultural cachet that people are a little bit nicer to me right um but at the time like i marietta and like i like have a you know you can see it on the hat it says cobb county roswell road which is where i grew up uh it was very much split where i grew up by that road like it was all and it wasn't completely segregated but it was pretty close it's like black people

lived on one side of roswell road and white people live on another side we lived with the black people 99 of the time unless my mom would find like a cheap house for rent and then we would only live there for like a year and then we couldn't afford it anymore like you know what i mean but like but like but then my mom was like well you, you guys, I'm sending you to the white high school. That's where the education comes, blah, blah, blah, which is half true. But it's also like if we just all sent our kids to everywhere, everyone would eventually have to level out their playing fields. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You know, it's hard to as a parent. It's hard to. It's hard. It's it would it's hard for your mom to be theoretical about that.

Right. You know what I mean? Oh, of course. You know what I mean? It's like you kids are you only got one shot at school. So right. And I and I definitely agree with you. It's like, yeah, no, you know, until we all start act and still we all start following the rules that we know are going to make life better. It's not going to get any better. But then there's like then you got a kid that needs to be educated. Right. And it's like you want it. And it's it's a natural thing to want the best for. Right. Yeah.

And that's the thing. It's like I've never it's not even like a blame. I'm just like the only bummer is that i worked at mcdonald's like i was saying so i would like have to get on a bus or my mom would drive me to mcdonald's at like 5 45 6 in the morning i would like work a shift oh my god before school then like walk down to a neighborhood pretended that i lived in that neighborhood so i could then get on the bus and like then go to high school yeah then walk back to that mcdonald's work a shift after work or after school yeah then go home and it's like all of this while like you know being in the

quote-unquote nicer part of town you know so like again that's the other you know paint brush that is you know coloring this experience for me uh but i was saying all of that to say to get to the original point of like what marietta was like for me uh i will say that like Like, I think I always fancied myself like a cool big city person. Like, but I always tried to be like funny. And like, I mean, like truly, if I wasn't doing like comedy in some sort, I would just be a comic book artist. Like, I got like, you know, I got, I was going to go to the Savannah College of Art and Design. I was there for three days and was like, I'm out. Like, you know, like I didn't like it. Yeah. I was just for three days and was like i'm out like you know like oh really like

it yeah i was just like i don't like college like i was like i hated high school and now i'm going to college which it was an art school so i figured i would like it more i was like oh no i just i think i'm an egomaniac in the sense that i think i can learn anything on my own and 99 of the time it has paid off for me so i'd rather just do that um and so uh but then i also then went back to marietta so i also experienced some of marietta as like an adult and like i do there's parts of it that i miss i missed the simplicity of like dude i used to work at a used bookstore and i was also a server at this restaurant and it's like i would wake up at like you know 9 30 i would go work out at the ymca because that was the gym you used yeah yeah

i would then go to i don't know if you guys definitely didn't have them in chicago i don't know if you ever had it before but there's a grocery store chain called publics yeah i know yeah yeah they're very famous for like their subs i would get a chicken tender sub with a half like a quart of orange juice and some watermelon i would eat that then i would uh go work a shift at the bookstore then i would work a server shift at night then at some point during the week i would take a little bit of dough and go buy like a criterion collection dvd from yeah yeah from borders you know and i'd watch like felini's eight and a half and be like the most interesting person you know like oh okay i think i get it you know like yeah and then i would talk about that at

the bookstore the next day where i worked and that was kind of my life and it's like i missed that part of it for sure like yeah it's such an anxiety free life and knowing what the routine is and like not the like when's the next job do i look good do i you know what i'm saying like all the stuff that like if you can if you yeah but if you can like you know set your boundaries as that without any sort of like aiming beyond that then yeah it's i mean i like i when i worked for the moving company they were just like i could just tell there were days when i'd take the bus home like just sweating and dirty especially like sometimes because we do night moves for right uh for bob seger albums uh no for uh for like you know like office jobs like you know you move an office at night just because it's easier get in there the next day yeah so like

there'd be times when i would have worked like 13 hours and i'm going home on the bus at like 10 a.m and just this feeling of like it's behind me like that all the like the stress of it the work of it it's all behind me I don't have to take any of this home you know like it's just it's simple it's just it's done whereas now it is like yeah work work is it it's like you're never really off the clock if you're supposed to be a creative person that's constantly coming up with new ways to, you know, make money for people. Yeah. Like make the set the world on fire with your, you know, incredible ideas. Yeah. You know, I understand that.

I mean, but I just. I think and well, it's also, too, though, you know know like the problem that i would have with that although now i'm older now but like it was just it was too there were too well it was too white it was too straight it was too like religious it was too republican yeah It was all these things that, you know, I needed, you know, I, you know, it's like I want a life with, you know, black people and gay people and Jewish people and, you know, fucking weirdos and, you know, all kinds of different people in it. And just kind of in a small town town you sort of you get what you get and that's it oh yeah absolutely i'll say this all that is true i think that it's it's hard to say because like i think that while those things existed there of course they were very minimal but i always managed to find like like at that used bookstore i worked at like i always managed to find, like, at that used bookstore I worked at.

Like, I always managed to find the weirdos, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I always found the thugs. I always found the gay people. Like, I always managed to. So, even though I was in a small town, I always, there was a, like, I always managed to find enough that I didn't feel like I was going crazy. The reason I moved was because I was like, there's just no industry here. like i've always managed to find enough that i didn't feel like i was going crazy the reason i moved was because i was like there's just no industry here and also they kept trying to in

atlanta there's this thing there's this mentality that anything you want to do you can make happen in atlanta and i was like i don't want to be that person i don't want to be the person who's like just here and is either trying and it never happens or that just like i never left you know like i have to i do have to experience the world and like to be honest like i don't love traveling so i was like this at the very least i can do this like you know i gave myself a plan i was like we'll see if it works and like you know did it work on my timeline no but it did work eventually was it all always stand up was that always kind of like you thought did it work on my timeline no but it did work eventually was it all always stand up was that always kind of like you thought i want to be a stand-up comedian or well like it was a

like it's yes but also like things dipped in and out of being a stand-up comic right like because i 14 13 or 14 it's like i'm gonna be a stand-up comic and then like somehow convinced when i was 15 i bet isaiah 50 bucks that i could make it onto snl by the time i was 18 and he was like you literally have done nothing like you've never said anything funny publicly ever like what are you talking yeah you've never done a ross perot imitation yeah like and i was like 50 bucks and he was like which you know when you're 15 and in a small town is a million dollars yes yes so i bet him that and that also that i could like if i met lindsey lohan she would want to hook up with me. And this is pre all her other stuff.

Now I'm like, I actually should have taken that bet for real because I probably could have made that part happen. But, like, it's just so arrogant. It's not great. I'm not saying it's great. It's 50 bucks. I mean, you know. But, again, this bet was made in 1999 you know like so it would have been funny as like mid-30s guys being like here's your 50 bucks you did but uh i say all that to say that so stand-up was always like the first love like i watched

dude like the chris rock late night show that used to be on hbo that so it's like that his specials like bring the pain bigger and blacker like changed my life wanda sykes patrice o'neill nick swartzen um oh god what's his name pablo francisco uh maria bamford um all had these like in oh and dion Cole all had these like insane Comedy Central Presents specials. And then like Tosh – Daniel Tosh's was so good. And like then it's like I saw Chappelle's Half Hour on HBO and Bill Burr's and like you start like seeing all of it. Did I say Wanda sykes i think i did uh you did yeah second yeah i just like i literally i i worship her in a way that like

it's just but uh so i say let's say that like i started seeing all these like it wasn't just like chris rock at the time and i mean he's still gigantic and a legend but like he was the guy so it was like i was quote unquote like experimenting with people like even though they were on tv but it was like when i would talk about patrice no one knew who i was talking about or daniel tosh or maria bamford she was just like even like and i know people clown him now like dane cook had such a funny half hour comedy central presents like i i like taped it and made everyone i knew watched it like it was just so funny to me and like yeah swartzen was so and it was like these were things i wouldn't have just come across on my i mean i did come across them on my own but like had i

stayed in atlanta it just wasn't that kind of play you know what i mean like it was like it was like blue color comedy tour and like you know you had to like even like cat will know what i mean like it was like it was like blue color comedy tour and like you know you had to like even like kat williams i remember like the first time i saw kat williams i was just like crying i was just like this little black maniac like running around and like a full half pimp suit but then also like jeans like it was so because i remember the first time i watched i was like what am i watching like i don't even think i got it and then like the second time i saw him i was like crying i was like this dude's insane you know and like yeah and that's and that's a level like that

is hard to maintain and i think history has shown like yeah that that yeah he was that's not just an act that's like you're living something. Right, exactly. It's like, wow. Yeah, yeah. It's so funny. And like, oh, and like Cheryl Underwood, the first time I saw her and like some more and like – anyway. So I say this, it's like I just – it made me realize that I could do it in the sense – I think so many people take stand up the wrong way because it's so because it's so conversational to an extent and like if you're good no one knows you're good you know what i'm saying it's just that

you're so you seem so natural that people are like this person's just thinking of this and they're saying it yeah then people go like i'm'm kind of interesting. I could do that. Whereas I took it as, here's a wide range of people doing the exact same thing. And like, they're all different. And I like all of them, which means that like someone is weird as me who has so many different tastes can also do it.

So that's what kind of like informed me. And then like from there i was just like okay this is what i'm gonna do i'm gonna do stand up and then uh and then this is literally crazy so like uh then i started not to be uh you know a loser but like i was like i can't really act so what would i do and i was like i definitely know i want to create my own tv show so i was like writing sitcom ideas like writing little scripts like in microsoft word that didn't even look like i don't know if you've ever seen what a script for a commercial looks like but it looked like that like i didn't even know i had yeah yeah and then i had to buy like sid field

screenplay just to learn and i only knew that because tupac had talked about it in an interview so like so even then like my way into that was different but then i uh was like oh i think like i think like the best thing a comedian can do is be a late night host like it's probably the closest to what you do so i became obsessed with late night with conan o'brien so i watched that like i like again obsessively uh and was just like maybe i'll do that and then i just like came back to just like no like that started to like i just felt like i couldn't do it so i was like the dream is to like maybe head right a late night show have your own show on the air like a sitcom that you're not in and then you're like a touring comic so that's what i came out here for i was like

i my i was like my dream is like get on a late night show as a writer then use that to create the tv show but be doing stand-up the whole time. Yeah. And so I immediately started working at a sandwich shop. Yes. Because you're going to need some mayonnaise spray. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But that being said, the answer to your question is like,

yes, I came out here for stand-up to create a TV show. And then, like, you know then other things happened, clearly. And when – this is all like when you're in high school. All of this is what you're explaining. It's like of what I want to do. The only people that I even mentioned it to were my brother and my mom and my sister. I didn't tell anyone else until like weirdly like my homies and i'll shout them out right now mark reese and eugene crump we were like uh again like the high school

went to was very white they were like some of the only black kids there with me and they were like bro you funny like you should try and do something with it i was like i don't know i don't know because i was just like too shy to even talk about it. Yeah. And then as I started doing stuff out here, because we reconnected, we kind of got lost. We reconnected. They were like, we knew it. We knew you were going to do it. So now anytime I do anything, they hit me up.

They're like, we told you, which is such a nice full circle moment. Yeah, yeah. But it's good that they're taking ownership for your work. Well, I'm actually, I mean it in the sense that it's like – I'm just kidding. Well, I know, but I don't mind it with them because they actually did to an extent be like, you should pursue this. Whether they knew I wanted to or not, they had the foresight to be like, why not?

Yeah, they believed in you more than you believed in yourself. Well, did you do anything in Atlanta? Did you try at all? Bro, the only thing I tried, and it's like, I'll try to tell you the short version, but I was 19. I snuck into a comedy club. Not snuck in. I signed up for an open mic at a comedy club called The Funny Farm. Sure.

That was inside of a Mario Andreddy go-kart racing track that's awesome so everyone there of course had like done it at least three times and like i was new i lied that i was 21 i was 19 which means i looked 16 at the time everyone had like these acts where they were like you know like my wife or my kids or like it's hard being a southern or whatever and mine was like i was like i'm gonna like give them that like raw like they've never seen before and so like yeah everyone and here's the thing is like that's the other thing i'll tell if anyone listening is like thinking about doing stand-up comedy whatever jokes you've written just know someone's

already done them yeah and if you haven't heard them it's because they're not working so like my whole set was just like you know there's you know there's residue of cocaine on every dollar bill so i've been snorting hundred or I've been snorting $1 bills all day. And people are like, what? And then like I had like a joke. Again, being 19 years old, being like, I don't want to turn 40 because I don't want my prostate checked. And then like did like a whole act out about me getting my prostate checked. And people are like, why is this kid yeah yeah literally

talking about something that's not gonna happen for 35 years yeah and also it sounds like this guy wants some butt play he's protesting pretty well that's the thing is then like the turn of the joke of course it's just like oh wait that do feel good you know or whatever it was some version of that so so then this dude comes up to me afterwards this just like here's the thing it was probably tony woods but it like not actually him but he had like the tony woods spirit and he was like man you were terrible and i was like thank you yeah he's like man you said you got nothing to say at all and i was like yeah yeah i know it's my first time he's like what you need is to be talking about real stuff watch what i do it's like all right so the stage is set up to look like a living room so

there's literally like a couch a nightstand a lamp uh and then like a halogen lamp and then like plants and he like gets on stage he's like what's up atlanta what's up what's up it's an open mic so one person's like all right then uh he's like look at this couch man that's an old couch ain't nobody sitting on that couch and this nightstand what you gonna put on that that's an old nightstand there's nothing to put on that nightstand, what you going to put on that? That's an old nightstand. There's nothing to put on that nightstand. And this lamp, man, this is an old lamp. Who's even using that lamp? And he just named every single thing on the stage,

said it was old, then tried to like riff on what, what it was or was not doing. Yeah. And he did that for five minutes. And then he like gets off stage and he's like, but see how comfortable I was. And I was like,

niggas, I, that doesn't matter. You're as unfunny as me. Yeah, what are you talking about? My problem wasn't comfort. Yeah, but you see, I didn't try. Yeah, which is so crazy. And then so keep in mind, everyone had to pay $5, and whoever won the open mic got the pot. Oh, wow.

So then this, again, she's probably famous now, and I just don't remember who it was. But this black girl got up after us, and her opening joke was, I just heard this Ashanti song called Baby, Baby, Baby. And I'm like, damn, bitch, how many kids you got? Crowd goes wild. They, like, call it there they're like she won like she's like holding up the money like oh yeah so i again like remember i told you earlier i was like i'm an egomaniac and like i just like assume that i can just learn anything on my own so open mic ends and i'm just like these hicks black and white hicks just don't get how creative i am i'm not doing stand-up again so i get to la so that's like i just which the natural thing would

be keep trying and i was like nah the city didn't get me so then i moved across the country to bomb again years later right years later i didn't start again until i was 23 wow um because i also got here and i was just like oh i need to work like i just had nothing you know so uh so anyway i say all that to say that uh it was yeah it was a long hard road and then i was just like oh i'm not good i'm not good it's not yeah It's not the city. Well, now, when you get out here, do you have any connection to anybody out here? Or are you just coming out here solo? Yeah.

So, okay, so here's the thing. So I came out with a dude. So I told you I worked at this restaurant. I moved out here with a dude who, uh, was a friend of the bartender at the place. I was a server. He was, he had actually gotten into the like LA film school that went on sunset, like,

and Coanga. I'm sure you've seen it before. It's like a big turquoise building with like a yellow top. Oh yeah. It's a red street from arc light. I know. I know what you I know I mean yeah yeah so he got in there and I was like look I'm moving to LA I like I was like I like I'm taking four weeks or six weeks of classes at the New York Film Academy because I saw it advertised like on MySpace yeah and it was cheap it's huge now it's huge it's huge now but back at the time

truly it was like here's a weird little t-shirt yeah weird little trade yeah yeah oh so we were like okay i guess we're both moving let's just do it i guess you know yeah so he was like my only friend i had i mean yeah the only person i knew at the time because then i found out much later that like a few people from high school that had like come out here so i'd like slowly see people throughout the years right but uh my best friend chris thaks and his mom sarah like she's just like one of these like she's just like one of these like connected like like art people in atlanta just she just knows everyone she's like oh like my art people in atlanta just she just knows everyone she's like oh like my friend's cousin's friend is like a second second ad on like weeds so like

actually weirdly the first job i had in la i was like uh you know day player pa randomly throughout season two of weed so i'd be there like you know like two days then one day then like nothing for four weeks then a day then three hours and like it was like mary louise parker like yelling at everyone important and then being very nice to us and be like hey this is my bait i was like she rules everyone she's like they're like she's a monster i was like no no no yeah she's mad at y'all she likes us you know what i'm saying so like that was that is that's that's a good that i mean yelling is never great but that's but yeah if you're nice to the people that you don't have to be nice to that's really saying something yeah exactly so i was i was

always i was always down for uh uh mlp yeah yeah um so that was like that was like my only connection and then like that woman suzy who like got me that job essentially like just went on to other stuff and i just kind of you know and then i also was like working at like a sandwich shop at the time because i'm not even sandwich shop m cafe on melrose if you know that place um i was just like well sadly i pretty much got fired for it. It's like a vegan macrobiotic restaurant. But they had a Quiznos next door.

And again, it's like, I'm a nigga from Georgia. You know what I'm saying? It's like I didn't understand vegan or macrobiotic. So on my lunch break, in my full vegan work uniform, I would just go eat at Quiznos. And they were very much a lifestyle restaurant. So they'd be like you know when you're eating chicken when you're eating bacon what you're doing is and i was like i don't have time for all this yeah yeah i'm eating the quiznos so just do what you have to do and they're

like okay you're fired i was like you got it like that makes sense yeah yeah i also remember my uniform oh sorry go ahead i would honestly think that that's actionable. Like you can't fire like that's a prejudice that you can't have. Yeah, but they like but they essentially did that thing where it was like they fired me for a different reason. The fire. They like moved me to a completely different part of it. Yeah. Like part of the restaurant that I like didn't understand, like running like an expo line or something.

Yeah. Like like during the middle of like a lunch rush and they're like oh you you clearly don't have what it takes it was like you just put me here yeah yeah yeah you know so uh so anyway i say all that to say that like uh and then it just took years for me to get back in it like so then i started stand up because i was like i need to get like do this you know yeah um and like I was working at Best Buy and met Seth Green because he needed help buying a video game for his nephew. So I begged him for an internship on Robot Chicken

and was also starting stand-up. So at least things were kind of coalescing in a way. Yeah. But yeah. And he was open to that? For me doing stand-up or giving me the internship? No, for the internship yeah yeah i mean like he literally like you know i was helping him around the story he

goes hey man like you're cool if you ever like need anything i guess like oh he he offered oh okay yeah kind of he or no sorry so he was just like dude you were so cool blah blah blah um and i was just like yo like i don't want to do this but like one of my favorite movies literally of all time is the movie airborne i was like i know people like like it in a corny way i was like i genuinely just like love it as like it was one of my favorite movies as a kid he's like oh my god so great blah blah blah he's like it's so weird that people like have held on to it then them it. Then it was like, are you trying to be in the industry? Yeah, yeah.

And I was like, look, yes. I will literally just, if you need me to just wash your tires every day, I will do whatever it takes. Do not pay me a dime, but I will be whatever. I'll just cut your grass. He was like, no. He was like, here's an email to send a resume send it in because it's also this is like robot chicken this height of adult swim stuff like

you know what i mean like it was so i was just like i gotta do something and i'm not i'm usually i'm not i don't want to say i'm not brave but in my life regularly i'm just not i'm usually just like a more chill person like especially with like celebrity stuff i feel like they're usually so hounded but i was like this is but when it comes to like a career i'll never be like read my script but i will be like can i do something for you for free that will at least hopefully ingratiate me to you that so at some point down the line maybe you'll be interested in something. But like, so I was just like, look, man,

I'll do whatever it takes. He's like, oh, just send in your resume to this email. I'll tell them to be on the lookout for you. And, you know, they'll have to interview you still. Like, I'm not going to sit there and say that I can give it to you, but there you go. Because he's like, you wouldn't even be working under me. I was like, okay.

So I like went in and got it. And like, it's so weird, like now especially, but it was like okay so i like went in and got it and like it's so weird like now especially but it's like i remember like ben schwartz was like a writer there with like he was on a writing team with someone because he's doing writers and cycles so it's like and he doesn't even remember of course he wouldn't remember me i just remembered that he was like a writer you know yeah so then when he started becoming like a person in the world, I was like, that's the same guy. You know what I mean? Like it was so crazy. So yeah.

Anyway, so that's part of the journey. And doing stand up, are you doing that in open mics around here? Are you touring? Like do you get a manager? How does that translate from getting to quit the sandwich shop you know or quit so oh so so here this goes back to a little bit earlier in the story so my friend from high school christine mclaughlin she moved to la to go to usc and i didn't know it so i like posted a picture on myspace of like me of like probably smoking a cigarette in front of you know the off-broadway shoe on sunset yeah like in city of dreams or

whatever right and she like hits me up immediately she's like are you in la and i was like oh yeah i moved here a while ago she's like i live here like blah blah blah let's hang so i go hang she's like i live with these like three weird guys and she lived with adam divine blake anderson and kyle newichek oh wow now you know the workaholics yeah directors and actors of you know you know driving comedy pop culture a little bit and like so i just i was just hanging out with them because I didn't know anyone else so I was talking to Adam one night and I was like yeah like moved out here for stand-up and I haven't really done it again and he was like dog like I'm a stand-up comic you didn't know that I was like no and he's like dude

I'm literally it's so funny to think about now but like he's like I'm a door guy there I'm actually leaving the job because I booked this huge Taco Bell commercial. And now I can like coast for a little bit. And I'm just going to focus on standup. If you show up to an interview, they will give you my job. You should do it because they give like door guys stage time when people don't show up. I was like, that's so dope.

So like, I like go and interview, they hire me and I'm just like a door guy. And then like, sure enough, they like, you know, I was like doing open mics there. And like the manager Rita Piazza saw me and like just like all this stuff was like kind of happening I was like all right well like well you know like it feels like it's working you know and like at the time like I couldn't have asked for anything more I was like I had a job which is being a door guy then I also got to perform so like this, this is the best, you know, like,

you know, it really, you know, it's, it's a comic he, that shall not be named, you know, uh,

gave this interview once where he was kind of just like, you know, like now that I'm a big comic, it's actually weirder. Cause like it was, though I was broke, it was a little bit nicer to be like a broke person, but like kind of on my own terms of like you're just so fulfilled by doing like thing one and thing two you know it's like

you work and then you go do stand-up and then when stand-up becomes the work it becomes a little you know it's like when you make money in anything it taints the the honesty of it yeah so like i will say like i'll never miss being broke ever ever ever but like the part of being broke that was the simplicity of the stand-up part of it i do miss but uh anyway to get back into sorry what you were asking me it's just like so i was just doing that then adam and blake and kyle and anders like because I met Anders through them, clearly, got workaholics. And they were like, yo, would you leave the improv and, like, be a writer's production assistant for us? And I was like, yeah.

So, like, that was, like, my first foray into that. Because of that, I met an executive at Comedy Central named Walter Newman and another one named Seth Cohen. Walter then moved to Adult Swim. And he was like, dude, you're're really because he started following me on Twitter it was like you're funny we're doing a cartoon version of the movie Black Dynamite I'm going to submit you for it I was like oh that's super nice so I had to like do a whole packet so that was my first writing job it was only like a few weeks

but still changed my life so thank you to Walter and Carl Jones and Jillian Apfelbaum and then but then the other executive Seth Cohen ended up moving to fox and he was and then he started running chris miller and philip lord's company and they were doing that show making history so he remembered me when adam pally was like hey this yasser dude

might be funny and even though i had never acted before seth was like oh i remember him so it's like did you know adam pally so i am same as you like just dumb little tweets back and forth and then he was friends with damon williams jr clearly who i was friends with so we just we were both in new york at the same time once and we're like yo let's just like go hang out somewhere like all right so we just like started hanging out then we became friends and then they just couldn't find anyone for making history for whatever reason and adam was like my friend yasser is really funny and julia sharp the creator was just like yeah but he's like a writer and like writers are never good actors which is true which is still true uh but uh adam was like let's just see him and again seth knew me from before and

it's like let's just see him and that's how i you know like i auditioned and got it eventually but like yeah i will say to the people out there it's like you really there is value in like being a good person and being nice to people and not to say that like you should do it expecting to get something out of it but like if you even remotely believe in karma or spirituality or just like even just the idea that there is energy in the universe like just try to put out as much good as possible because you never know how it's coming back to you it may not come back as a reward but you just you know you just want to make sure that you're you're always on the up and up i would say i don't even as someone who's work you know work down you know works on sets works on tv shows work you know i don't even

care if they're just if they're if their motivation is completely self-centered being nice greases the gears so much better than anything else. If you want, and this is something I noticed because I went to film school and I worked as a production assistant. Yeah, yeah. The people that were nice to me, because I was working, I'd work 18 hour days for $100 flat rate

with taxes taken out. Right, yeah. It works out to less than, it was less than minimum wage a lot of the time yeah and the people that were nice to me i would do anything for because they were nice to me and they respected me and they you know at times i'd like might ask my opinion about what you know which of these couches do you like for the set just shit like that that made you feel like a smart human being yeah the people that were shitting me fuck them you know i was like i'd steal petty cash you know i'd steal props yeah you know i'd

be like in wardrobe and there'd be a shirt that fit me like you know i needed clothes it wasn't like yeah yeah so and i that it was like such a lesson of like even if you just are looking at people as vending machines that you want to get productivity out the best coin to put in there is kindness and consideration absolutely and if you're really going to be kind and considerate it's its own reward so you're gonna but honestly it's like even for people that that i work with that are you know that i've worked with who are just totally about don't give a fuck about you i just want you to work for me and do what i tell you to if you're nice to me yeah i'll do that but

if you're not no no you know well you know and it's funny you say that i'm gonna bring up two things like the first thing being that chelsea my girlfriend has this really i i don't even want to say it's like a quote but it's just like this really great thought i think she and she always says that nice is neutral essentially yeah like the idea of being nice is just like that's why so many serial killers are like described as like a nice person because they just don't do anything it's basic it's basic so even if you're just nice it's like okay you'll get whatever you want you know what i'm saying if you are kind that is a different thing kindness is an act of

you know is an act of uh aggression in and of itself because you have to do a different you have to push yourself to be kind yeah and so like i i've always been like yeah like it's it's so much more important to be kind than to be nice one but two to your point like it's also like because i think you know i don't want to talk too much about social media but there is like the social media thing that like gets on my nerves but then also when i think past it a little bit more i'm okay with it it's like we see the people who are like it's like them filming themselves with their hand out into the camera like holding money and they just walk up to a homeless person like hey man you need some cheering up here's 10 bucks and you're like here's the thing because in my in my soul i hate that i'm like you did you

you do not need to do that but then i'm like also whether the person filming and giving the money was doing it for altruistic reasons doesn't matter because the homeless person or house, you know, unhoused person, I believe is the term now. That unhoused person now has $10 that they can use to eat or whatever. So it's like it is the thing you're talking about where it's like I kind of don't care about the intention anymore as long as good is coming out of it you know what i mean like yeah you can hate my guts and smile to my face as long as you're not actively trying to tank me in some way i don't care and it's just like what it is you can hate me there's tons of people that i hate that i'm completely nice to or kind to, because at the end of the day, I would rather have that energy out there than me being like, I wish they were hit by a car,

you know, like it just doesn't. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. No, that kind of,

yeah, there's a, there's a charity event that I've gone to for you. It's every year. It's a, it's a, it's a, I mean, it's a it's a i mean it's uh children's defense fund and they give like yeah full-on scholarships through college to kids in

need and they do video packages of the kids lives and it is a fucking just ball fest like you just cry because these kids you know like a kid that you know lived in a car with a schizophrenic mother for six years and got straight a's and is you know was accepted to stanford and you know just right just the fucking hardship that these kids go through and they're just spirit and and there's all these it's in it's in beverly hills fancy thing tons of like showbiz people giving money and they're in there and it's all you know, fancy thing, tons of showbiz people giving money. And they're in there, and everybody's crying and feeling good about themselves for giving money. And it always kills me because then you go outside, and you see all those same people with dried tears on their face being pricks to the valet car.

Right. Yeah, of course. You know what I mean? It's like, oh, I just gave 10 grand so these kids could go to school where's my fucking car you know and i just it's like god uh it's why i never it never ends though it's why i stay in burbank it's yeah truly i don't i do so and this is i worry about this at times like i just can't take show business anymore i can't take it's a fucking i just can't take it anymore i i like making shows yeah i like making things but all the extra meeting shit and

all the people you got to talk to and and and get there okay i just as i get older i just have so little patience for the meetings the meetings so it's well also unless you're doing something that you genuinely love with all of your heart it kind of just amounts to like uh that was cool you know it's like of course the perks of like being able to live somewhere comfortably and yes food on the table it's like all of that is great but it's like you can also get all of that being an account. Yeah. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it really does become this like, okay, unless I'm like going to change the world, which we all get too deep into to realize like, oh, it's not going to be me. Right, right, right. You know? Right. So yeah. But yeah, buddy, I get you. Well well i i mean i've kept you a long time here i so we got to kind of move on to the the what what are you what's in the future for you what are you still do you still have these kind of you still want to be a head writer on a late

night show and then get your own sitcom and then still i still want to do stand-up i still want to do sitcom what is it about the stand-up. I still want to do sitcom. What is it about the stand-up that you like that keeps you going back? It's an immediate thing. I think that's why I like and hate Twitter so much is that, you know, like someone clicking favorite or retweet, it's like, okay, that was a good one. You know what I'm saying? Right, right. And, like, the energy of people is so nice sometimes.

It's like especially, like, you know, when you're just in a writer's room and it's the same 12 people and so nice sometimes it's like especially like you know when you're just in a writer's room and it's the same 12 people and you're trying to make them laugh you're kind of just like you at some point you're like i don't care anymore like you know what i mean like yeah yeah so like i really do try like there's something nice about like this person has you know it's different for again like an amy schumer or you know a tiffany addish where it's like these people came to see them but for me it's like most people don't know who i am they just go to a show and it's like if i can make them laugh with like because i'll say this i feel like in new york people people don't want to laugh and you really have to work for it but their laughs are worth so much more because of that and in la it's so many just like that was okay laughs and it's just like i don't

want and i wish i was somewhere in the middle clearly but but regardless earning one to someone that has no idea who you are and most likely doesn't want to laugh yeah yeah because they don't know who you are is like such a thrill but also that like because it's also like the highs aren't worth the lows at all i don't know why but it's like it becomes just it really is like one of those practices that becomes like a part of who you are you know it really does become part of your identity and even in this i just like i will say it's like i don't miss it as much as i thought i would but i do miss it if that makes sense like i'm not like i'm not like some people are like dying to get out there and tell the people and

i'm like i'm not dying like yeah you know i'll say i'll start a blog if I need my opinions out there. But like, uh, but yeah, I, uh, but yeah, I, I, so it's just like,

I, you know, even if I'm like Jerry Seinfeld and I do like the big special when I'm like 45, I'll do that. So I want, I still want like the hour long special. Yeah.

And I want a sitcom on the air that's created by yasser lester i don't even have to be in it which was again acting was never like on my plate so like i uh so yeah um so yeah those are the two things that you know and then like make sure family is good and that's kind of all i can ask for well yeah that's i mean making sure people are good and that i really want my biggest thing is to be and i know i may have said this earlier or not i just want to be in a place that like you can help people you know what i'm saying people in the industry just people out in the world like i you know there's that that quote that it's like you should give more to the world every single day that you then you that that quote that it's like you should give more to the world every

single day that you then you take from it and it's like that's where i want to be like i i'd rather be all said and done with this and be like maybe i don't have a dime to my name but like there is a legacy of things that i have done for people and then those people have gone on to do great things and even if it's not me i'm okay with it as long as we get there as like a population within hollywood yeah the industry and just out in the world also yeah yeah no that's i sometimes i i definitely know what you mean because i you know like one of the things I, I, I, you know, the notion of a legacy to me is like, it seems so fucking such a big deal word that I just,

I, I, it makes me, I, I shy away from it. Um, but I do like the fact, and I mean,

I really liked the fact, uh, that I was on a show that meant a lot to a lot of people. Right. You know what I mean? That like, that, that knowing what shows as somebody who took being funny seriously who was like who studied it who wanted to do it for a living those shows that really mattered to me i am very very happy that i

was on a show that mattered in a similar way to people younger than me who are in exactly the same kind of position. Right. That was really good. And, you know, and then, and, you know, a couple of the sitcoms I did, same deal, you know, very proud, very proud of those shows and very proud of, you know, that they happen. It's weird to, you know, this business is so absurd and i mean in the world is so i mean you know fucking you know the thing that people try to insult me all the time with is

uh what do you know you've just sat next to people for all those years or you know or why don't you make another show that fails and it's like yeah you know it's just like it's such a transactional kind of world. Right, yeah, yeah. That it does kind of suck because you can't, you know, I'm okay with it, but then there's also another part of me that's like, yeah, it sure would have been nice if one of those shows had really, you know, lasted. Yeah, yeah, of course. Being a cult favorite is pretty sweet, but, you know, what's even better is runaway hit. Right, lasted. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Being a, being a cult favorite is, is pretty sweet,

but you know, what's even better is runaway hit. Right. Yeah. That's pretty fucking sweet too. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, it is, you know, it is like, it's nice that you had that effect for other people. And I, and another thing that I think all the time is like, I think possibly, like if I am supposed to give something to the world creatively, I sometimes, cause my, both my kids are so talented.

Yeah. Just being a proud, but sometimes I think like maybe what I'm doing is, is helping those two artists to make art, you know, and that the stuff that they do will be, you know, in some way, my contribution, you know and that the stuff that they do will be you know in some way my contribution yeah you know so absolutely um well what's the what's the point of the yasser lester story

like what do you like if you could you know somebody you got to finish up the article the long new york times magazine Yasser Lester interview a summation man I would say that like I may have never I might not have always done it right

and I might have made it a lot harder at points but I at the very end of it i again like just it is so important to me that like the people around me know that they were like loved and that how much of this though i also enjoy how much of this was for them and that like they can look back and be like dang like we it doesn't ever feel singular that it feels like a collaboration between like me and my family and my friends and people on the street that i've met

and like you know what i mean like that we're all kind of in a thing together where uh where yasser and i hate to be in a third person but yasser lesser doesn't feel like a singular person it feels like an idea of like creativity and goodness out in the world and and uh you know this idea that you also like can come from nothing and make something you know what i mean that it's yeah that it's that we're and that we're kind of all in it together you know yeah that's i mean and and i mean and the story that you've told in this hour and a half has been that has been like connections that you made with people. And the kindness of people, you know, people seeing your kindness, repaying that kindness with more kindness. Yeah. And so, yeah, I mean, that's, it's a very, it's a nice story.

And you've got to, you know, you're in a nice place and you deserve it. Yeah. That being said. Funny guy. But also 100% recognizing that I'm one of the most talented people that most people have ever met listen listen you know that's that's the other thing that underlies everything you're saying and it's like the notion that you got a chance to do this you got a chance to do that if you didn't have it you would be still at fucking best buy

you know that's and it's hard to tell people hey i would be an amazon driver i bet by this time you would have got to ups you know maybe i don't know you would yeah i mean amazon drivers get to wear what they want they just throw the vest over you know what i'm saying i ain't trying to wear a uniform no more but listen but that a it's shorts it's you know you probably look great in brown uh and it's uh and there's no you don't have to worry about it you know there's no question like what am i gonna wear today you're gonna wear the brown shorts and the little shirt and you know but uh i listen i don't think you should work for ups okay if i can if don't think it's the best use of your power. If I could just end this, you shouldn't work for UPS.

No, but I mean, I do think, yeah, that's always to me when people say, follow your dreams, you can do it. It's like it's always conditional based on, yeah, but you got to be able to do it. Yeah, yeah. conditional based on yeah but you got to be able to do it yeah you know i mean and and i don't know what to tell people who are grinding away and not find not making any traction i don't know what to tell you you know because it's not for me to say maybe you should think of doing something else but right you know but it is like it's hard you gotta have you know in addition you just have to have the talent and uh and even if it's a little bit you can have a tiny sliver of talent and or just the understanding of what creates talent yeah and then you can build on that like there is there are people that are

naturally gifted there are people who you know it takes a ton of work but like i will say it's just like a piece of advice that people listening it's like you have to know where you are like yeah and i knew this i knew that i could get to where i am right now and i know from now i can get to the next place i want to be but i also understand that to get to the place that i want to be this version of me needs to do more work to get there. Whereas people think like, I'm good now. Why am I not running this show? Or why am I not a famous actor?

Or whatever it is that you want to do. Why am I not a famous athlete? It's like, you have to understand that the current iteration of you is going to get to the next level, but through work. is going to get to the next level, but through work. But you now plopped into a successful thing is going to crash and burn. And once I learned that early on, I was like, oh, yeah. So keep the ego of like, I am dope and I'm going to get there. But know that you have to get there. Yeah.

Like you're not going to be dropped off there. Yeah. Yeah. You know, there's something and like i said i kept you and we're kind of like at the natural end of this thing but there is something i wanted to talk about you with you because it was so fucking funny the the the the jersey mike's oh yeah yeah yeah you did yeah which for people that don't know, you made up a fake Jersey Mike's corporate sort of announcement that they were changing the name of BLTs to BLMs

for bacon, lettuce, and mater. Is that what it was? Yeah, mato, but yes. Mato, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's so funny because it is like, but I, it's, I because it is like, but I, the, the it's,

and I mean, and people went fucking bananas about it. And I mean, for, if you were looking for, if that was bait, holy shit, so many people chomped down hard.

Yeah. Fucking thing. But I did want to ask because so much of what's happening now. And I mean, and I'm, you know, I'm a big fucking liberal, you know, as people don't, you know, the leftists think I'm a corporate sellout or whatever, you know, just because I'm old and sort of more realistic or I don't know or just maybe cynical i you know but there's so much about what's happening right now with race in this country that i don't even like with my twitter account i feel like it's best for me to retweet like who am i to be saying stuff and i mean and i've heard older african-american people say I can't remember who it was. Somebody was just saying, like, it's better to let the younger people.

They're doing a great job of taking it. And to make a joke in that sphere, in that kind of, like, it's so, to me, it's, like, terrifying. And I don't necessarily mean because I'm white and it's black, but I mean, when a joke it's like it's like making a joke at a funeral you know right yeah for sure and you just have to be ready for whatever comes yeah and and and what is it about that like what draws you to make that kind of joke and to be like within this just a fucking nightmare that's going on to be like hey come on let's let's fuck with jersey mike's well i i here's there's two things at play like jersey mike's like because i was thinking of all the sandwich companies because i had the idea for the bl like i the letters lined up and i was

like i have to pick a sandwich shop and it's just like jersey mike's just sounds like the wrong place you want to hear a message like you know what i mean like right because even like subway you would imagine they would actually do something because they've had been in so much trouble and like blimpy was too goofy and not enough people know what it is but i was like jersey mics is just like it still just sounds like a boardwalk yeah yeah so that's the first But secondly, the realness of it is I think that like, you know, I think that so much of like the white experience for people and all of this has been black tragedy. It's like videos of George Floyd getting killed, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, you know, Tony McDade um jesus christ the fact that i meet elijah mclean yeah i know it's hard and it's and i get i get confused as to which is which that's what i'm

saying there's so many names it's like is that the person that got shot on their porch or is that the person that got shot in at the gas station you know it's exactly yeah you know like so there's so many i don't even think think I said George Floyd, but, uh, but my bigger point being is that like, it then became, you know, a little bit what you're saying, like, I'm just going to retweet or I'm just going to listen and blah, blah, blah. And I, and, and, you know, there are, there are black people out there smarter than me who get it more, who understand the complexity of this. And I understand the complexity.

What I will say is that I know i don't have all the answers and i know that one thing i can contribute is humor and i also believe that like stepping out of the monolithic experience that's placed on black people to be sad constantly it's like of course we're sad of course we're mad but like we're also weirdos and we make jokes about things sometimes that we shouldn't in the same way that white people do or latinx people do or asian people do or genderqueer people whoever and it's like i feel like we're sometimes taken with so much gravitas and it's like no we're still idiots you know what i'm saying like some of us can still be idiots yeah and i now i'm not saying i'm the person that people should be listening to but i knew for me i was like i want to be funny in a moment that also

speaks to this thing that we are going yeah yeah and i was like because i mean i also did things where i like made up tweets where i said that black people needed white people to shave off their eyebrows to stand in solidarity like you know what i mean like i was just like because it did come to a point because it wasn't and people thought i was like messing with like liberals and to an extent you have to because they're the ones who were doing it but it was more just this idea that like people were willing to do anything except be like we need to defund the police you know what i mean like yeah that's the only answer to all of this right now it's truly the laser focus of everyone it should be yeah so yeah i was like all right if we're not doing that then

let's we might as well have a little bit of fun and like again like a like you know people were like wow there's like art and people were like wow there's like art and all this stuff and it's like maybe and i'm not i'm truly not gonna sit here and be pretentious enough to say like that was my intention my intention was to be funny and like moderately speak on a thing that's happening because that's the comedy that i love that's why i love wanda sykes it's why i like chris rock it's I like Dave Chappelle it's why uh I love uh uh Hassan Minaj and like all these people it's like they all and John Oliver it's like you know even like I don't know if you watch any of the Andrew Schultz stuff online uh he's a New York comic

but he does like he essentially does like five minute on his own five minute weekly news recaps that are so funny and so spot on you should check them out if you'll check it out yeah uh but it's it's stuff like that where i'm like oh like they are using both skills to say something you know and like that was like again i may not be that articulate but i know photoshop i know how to make a joke like i know that i can do something with this well i think it articulates it because the point was made by so many people and it's i think among the points that you're making it's the same point nobody wants a golden girls episode pulled nobody wants you know i i can't remember all the all the you know sort of community yeah kim jong i was like he's not he's literally an alien like like there's

you know like it's all the wrong answers it's like use the money that you were doing for that right and put it into a candidate who was willing to defund the police yes that's it and it's performative corporate you know unity yeah because it's now but it also too it's like a frustrating thing is like well now it's gotten just like george floyd was such a breaking point kamau bell was on here and we talked about it like it just you can't even even the fucking Steve Scalise or something at the at the RNC is acknowledging that was a

murder yeah that was that was horrifying and that was a murder and so that makes it okay for M&M's to say right yeah we stand with black people right they weren't saying that you know they weren't saying that with Mike Brown you know like it takes

it's just it's like you have to wait so long for this glacier to move to where it's okay for the people with the money to say it and in many ways I think that joke that you make makes the point in a way that sticks better

than a hundred activists saying online, we don't want performative. We want real. Right. You know, and, you know, and what you did showed it. Yeah. Well, I think that I think that sorry, I'm going to cut you off. But I think that and again, it wasn't the intention. So I'm not going to sit here and pretend that i'm like by any means this smart but i think good satire truly blends things in a way that you're taken aback right it's like

it's like when steven colbert was doing the colbert war the they used to do like uh you know focus groups with conservatives and with liberals and liberals always thought steven colbert was making fun of liberals or thought he was making fun of conservatives but conservatives thought he was making fun of liberals by showing that they couldn't handle someone like this aggressive yeah and you're like oh that's why it's so good because he weirdly has unified everyone though they don't know they're unified with different intentions yeah and so like that's where i it that jersey mike's thing kind of ended up is that like oh it landed in the sense that people got that it was like corporate performative bs but also once they realized it was a joke realized that's what the intent was you know but at first actually got mad at it and because they actually got mad they realized it was a joke, realized that's what the intent was, you know,

but at first actually got mad at it. And because they actually got mad, they realized they were sick of corporations saying this. Yes. That makes sense. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

So, yeah, well, keep on fucking with people, man. All right, man. It's pretty fun,

man. Tom Green, 2020. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone's favorite. Everyone's favorite. Everyone's favorite prankster. Well,

thank you so much for spending some time with me. It's great to see you and talk to you. Yeah. I mean, it's, you know, honestly, these taping these things because I get to pick and choose who I get to

talk to. It's like, it's like a play date, you know, instead of just like you know staring at the walls i get to talk to you for a while so it was really fun made my day it's better than finding a coffee shop where we have to do the whole like oh can you believe it and the parking it's like we get to the real right you know right well and also too it's like a format where i get

to ask you probing personal questions and it doesn't seem rude you know right yeah yeah but next time we go to coffee you gotta ask me something oh i'm gonna yeah and please i'm ready i'm ready okay oh buddy i'll spill my fucking guts yeah i'm gonna do a podcast where i'm just talking about the questions i'm gonna ask you all right well yasser lester thank you so much. And thank all of you. I thank all of you out there for listening. And come back next week where I'll be talking to somebody. No, probably not. It's a lie.

The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco and Earwolf production. It's produced by me, Kevin Bartelt, executive produced by Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Chris Bannon and Colin Anderson and Earwolf production. It's produced by me, Kevin Bartelt, executive produced by Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Chris Bannon and Colin Anderson at Earwolf. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, associate produced by Jen Samples and Galit Sahayek,

and engineered by Will Beckton. And if you haven't already, make sure to rate and review the three questions with Andy Richter on Apple Podcasts. This has been a Team Coco production with Andy Richter on Apple Podcasts. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.