The Tim Dillon Show - 229 - Blankets and Bug Chasers
Episode Date: December 6, 2020Tim discusses the Comedy Store documentary on Showtime, the decor of Whitney Cummings party, bug-chasers and Ben's dark mind, the Candace Owen's backlash, and Ellen Degeneres's latest business venture... in this crumbling metropolis. Bonus Episodes every week: ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE ▶▶ https://www.bonfire.com/store/the-tim-dillon-show/ Ray Kump's Wine Princess shirt: https://www.bonfire.com/store/kump/ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: 👛 WALLETS: get 10% off a ridge wallet ▶▶ https://www.ridge.com/tim 🩳 UNDERWEAR: Order with PROMO CODE Tim30 to save 30% until Christmas ▶▶ https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ ⌚ WATCHES: Get 20% OFF and FREE SHIPPING ▶▶ https://www.vincerowatches.com/Tim 🔒 VPN: Get three months free ▶▶ https://www.expressvpn.com/timdillon 🥣 CEREAL: Use code TimDillon for free shipping! ▶▶ https://magicspoon.com/timdillon 🔵 BLUE CHEW : Use promo TD ▶▶ https://bluechew.com/ 💊 HEALTH: Use code TIM for 20% off sitewide ▶▶ https://omaxhealth.com/ 🤖 MANSCAPED: Use code TIMD ▶▶ https://www.manscaped.com/ 👨🦱 HAIR LOSS: ▶▶ https://www.keeps.com/TimDillon 💎 JEWELERY : Use promo TIM ▶▶ https://www.anvilrings.com/ 📦 SHIPPING: Enter code TIMDILLON ▶▶ https://www.shipstation.com/ 🎧 HEADPHONES: For 15% off! ▶▶ https://www.buyraycon.com/tim 🤳 COLOGNE AND SKINCARE: Use code TIM ▶▶ https://hawthorne.co/ 🧉 HYDRATE: ▶▶ https://www.drinkhydrant.com/TIM 👚 CLOTHING: ▶▶ https://fuct.com/ 🛏️ BEDS: ▶▶ https://helixsleep.com/timdillon 🥇 GOLD: ▶▶ Text TIM to 474747 🚗 INSURANCE: ▶▶ https://gabi.com/timdillon 🚬 QUIT SMOKING: Use code TIM: ▶▶ https://lucy.co 🎹 MUSIC ▶▶ https://www.natebergmansings.com/ ⚓ NICK DAVIS'S PODCAST (BELOW DECK) ▶▶ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/another-below-deck-podcast/id1216741721 🏀 FANTASY SPORTS ▶▶ https://www.draftkings.com/ use code DILLON 💆THERAPY ▶▶ https://www.betterhelp.com/TIMD 💊 NO DAYS WASTED ▶▶ https://nodayswasted.co/TIM use code TIM 🥩 UNITED HARVEST ▶▶ https://unitedharvest.com/TIM for 20% off 📦 BOX OF AWESOME ▶▶ http://boxofawesome.com use code TIMDILLON at checkout for 20% off ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ 🐦 Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon 🌍 Tim Dillon Live Dates!: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows 📹 Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC161r7ShBvMxfyzCtiSMRbg Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▶▶ Ed McMahon benavery33@gmail.com https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ #TheTimDillonShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. I am Tim Dillon, comedian member of the media and
the father of Candace Owens child and I did not announce that when she was on
But I feel like it's time to come clean with you and let you know that the child of Candace Owens will be having is mine
Ben by the way a lot of people not really for were angry about
Candace coming on the show and they said I didn't push back enough, which I did
But you know who did no pushback Ben
Ben said nothing the entire interview. He wasn't even on screen
Okay, and I don't platform anyone he runs the tech he chose to platform
Candace Owens and say nothing not one rebuttal. I
Thought he booked Megan the stallion. I
Was shocked
The Candace Owens was on the show. I apologize
It was very tough to hear for many people
My aunt who was a liberal heard the episode and you know what she did what shot herself
She shot herself in the face
After she heard the episode
And
I feel so what was that thing on the Legion of Skank subreddit you read about my stepmother. Oh
Supposedly it's like folklore on that subreddit that someone showed up to your stepmother's house and said hi
I'm a fan of Tim Dillon and she got really mad and and what do they get for that cloud? I think that's cloud
Yeah, hey if you want that's cloud
Saying I'm a fan of Timmy if you want cloud killer
You want real cloud
Kill her
I'm kidding. It's the holidays
It's the holidays in LA and the decorations are out and you can't see them and if you try to see them
You'll be in jail. I don't know why we've even put the decorations up this year. Let's skip it
Let's skip it
If you drive down Sunset Boulevard of West Hollywood, there are actually
Decorations and no people it is such a haunting scene
And then there's all these lines of COVID test everybody's getting tested for COVID in the car
It looks like in and out, but everybody's getting a q-tip up the nose
To see if they have
SARS-CoV-2
the coronavirus
What a shitty way to spend a day
You know I
Was watching that comedy store documentary
the other day and
on Showtime and
There are parts of it that are well done and then there are parts of it where you go, huh?
I remember so they the episode I watched last night to get Whitney Rogan Burr
Leno
Annie Letterman and they all take COVID tests
They all have masks on and they have they take COVID tests
And then they sit down and Mike binder who did the documentary by the way, it's like about him
It's like about him
What's going on
He's like it's mostly about my journey with splashes of kinesin here and there a little prior but more me
They're all sitting outside and I and I'm not bitter that I'm not in it
I've seen it now now. I'm like kind of like that. I'm not in it, but I got passed at the comp. Don't be nervous
I got passed at the comedy. I don't care if I ever do this again for living. I'm trilly don't I truly trilly don't I
truly don't I um I
Was passed at the comedy store about
Which I love I love the store. I was passed like a few weeks after this happened
You know after the whole thing was shot with the majority of it
But they shot a scene where everybody gets COVID tested and so
Apparently it's in the midst of a pandemic and then Mike binder looks at everybody and goes. What's going on with PC culture?
And I'm like what in the fuck are you talking about
the biggest event a seismic event an
Asteroid that hit live performance harder than anything
This guy's going. What do you think about PC culture? And then there's comedians
By the way, everyone in that documentary is like 75. I got to be honest. I
got to be honest
You start looking around you're going. I don't know. Does it feel that hot?
Stand up. Don't feel that hot right now
It's like it's all like elderly people telling you well when I was a youth
Richard it's like it's not it and I love stand up and I love doing it and I'll keep doing it
But part of the reason why I like it is it is a dead art. Okay, and
And and and that documentary I mean Christ
It's just it's a museum it's a mausoleum in there. I mean some some mausoleum I
Mean I was watching with a friend who's a fan of everybody and they're like
Here's the question I love comedy and comics are more talented
Inherently than tick-tock people but is a documentary about the tick-tock kids more interesting. Yes
Is and I like that you didn't hesitate is a documentary about the kids on tick-tock more interesting than
Somebody being like it's just a joke
No one cares about PC look guys. It's not even real
I had Candace on nobody's people were mad at me, but nobody's trying to cancel me. It doesn't it's over
no one cares and
It's still like this narrative that people keep bringing up it makes stand-ups look weak
You look weak when you whine just say it and step back
When I was fighting with people on Twitter about the Candace Owens thing
I was fighting because I had a point. I had a point and they had a point
They whatever their point was whatever my point was, but I don't care that you're mad. I
Knew you were gonna be mad when we had her on the show
That's part of the fun
You see
I'm not bringing on a history teacher who no one knows or cares about I'm bringing on a woman who's gonna ruffle a few feathers I
Get so this whining weak piece. It's just got it's every podcast has been about this and only this
So I watched it for a few minutes
And I had to turn that off
Oh, yeah Jay Leno up there be like it's a joke
What are we doing?
What's going on here who cares I don't care enough with the legends enough with the left don't you want to kill these people?
Do these people die do they ever go away
Have these motherfuckers have not been funny and forever
forever
And we all have to sit there like they're fucking Christ
They climbed down off the cross and we got to wash their feet and I know it's enough is enough already and I respect them and
You know, I respect I
Respect the the roads they paved so that I may have to drive down them
But we got to be funny here
Doesn't everyone remember that we got to be a little funny
We can't just sit around on a trillion dollars
They should make chairs made of money when they ask these people to pay they should have to sit in a chair of money
They have to take the money out of their banking and make a couch of it and we're making money
We're not shit on people that make money, but it's like it's a pandemic. There's all the shit to talk about nobody cares about PC culture
Nobody gives a shit
enough pipe down
You
Go down a comedy magic club tell everybody you know tell everybody that
the PC culture
You can wade through an anti-mask protest on a way in there down in Hermosa Beach
The LA lockdowns confusing because you're not supposed to leave your house, but the McRib is back
odd
It's a strange thing go down and let's see what we can do and what we can't do because I don't even know
Non-essential travel of any kind is is is is banned
That word essential is a very subjective word
Closure of all onsite restaurants though takeout delivery remains open personal services hairstyles barbershops are closed
essential retail open
Okay, parks and beaches remain open for activities, but no gatherings go alone
Schools following protocols can remain open if they have a state waiver
People are like the lockdowns not gonna do enough. It's not severe enough. What do you want the tanks in the street?
So there are several exemptions faith-based outdoor services and the homeless I
Don't even know what that means by the way, this is not the new studio the new studio is being built
Yes, it's gonna be very exciting. You're gonna love it. It's going to be great
This made me laugh the other day get this up Josh Richards who's a tiktok kid
We like because he's industrious is handing out blankets to the homeless
And I think he's an investor in the blanket company where he's handing out blankets
To the homeless and that's kind of funny
Can we can we play this I mean I don't think we can't can we without volume? I think we can because there's probably music in this
See we have a plan everyone says LA doesn't have a plan it's right here. What's the bike?
I think avenues. I'm doing a great job. What's the prize the plan right here?
The tiktok kids are giving blankets to the homeless people is is that not a plan? I think it's great
Now go find out if he owns I think he owns a part of the blanket company I
Think he said on his Twitter, which is great because as you're giving the blankets to the homeless
You're kind of also selling them and going hey if you scratch a few dollars together
You might want to think about purchasing one of these
You might want to think about
Might want to think about getting involved
But this seems like a great plan remember when I joked around this is why I should never joke because everything I say comes true
Remember when I said this was months ago that if you were fucked during this economy
You couldn't rely on the government you had to hope that David Dobrik shot you with a potato gun
Or the Jeffrey star decided to put five thousand dollars in your account on Venmo
Remember when I said that you were only going to be relying on influencers
I said that and I said it is a bit it is now a reality if you are homeless in Los Angeles
Hopefully your needs dovetail with an influencers publicity campaign
Hopefully you get chosen to be one of the people hand it out a product
That's all you got now good luck
Good luck getting anybody else interested these guys are walking around handing out
He goes like this. This is like the funniest. I mean I just folks got a laugh and this kid
Like I don't hate the kid at all, but I would do shit like like if I was him
I'm not gonna be him, but if I was him I would do shit like this
He's like he goes I am pleased to announce that I'm joining
Unhide whatever that means as co-creative director as an investor and a partner in the company
I believe will change the world. I hope through my actions. I can expire generation C to take on the issue of animal
efficacy
Right and join me in my mission to create a national conversation about it
So what is that the blanket company? Yeah, I believe so and what is the blanket company?
So I think they don't use animal fur like they don't so it's also well
That's what the homeless are concerned about
Here's a blanket and there were no animals made the homeless are like can you get some animals and cook them and bring them to me oh
Folks folks it doesn't get better than this, huh?
This is Ellen DeGeneres is faux fur brand
This is Ellen DeGeneres is faux fur brand so you know what it is it is not made out of animal products
It's made from the hair of her interns
Which she plucks out one by one when they're late
So Ellen DeGeneres who's as we've covered runs in Abu Ghraib style torture prison at her show is now making
Blankets out of her interns body hair which are being handed out to homeless people by Josh Richards and the tiktok kids
That's what I'm hearing and I'm for it. I'm not against any part of it
Every mechanism there. I think is working the way it should work
If I was homeless and I saw two kids in beanies cool little young kids come up to me
I gave me a blanket and they said by the way, this is no animals used and hey, here's a gift from Ellen. I
'd say thank you
And here's a gift from Ellen
So that's what that's that's the LA homelessness about a thing here don't worry about it I
I
I'm I hope everybody is excited as excited about this as I am in this city this rapidly crumbling metropolis
So I watched this show on Netflix the other day Nate
It's a one-woman show by Natalie Palmeadius who's a very talented comedian
I I don't I didn't go through the whole show. So I don't want to comment on the show
Some people will love it. Some people won't it's it's it's one woman show
um
She's she's dressed up there as her character Nate and the whole show is about consent. This is the
This is what I was confused. There's like a scene where she's got a mannequin on the floor
Yeah, and she's it's about toxic masculinity the whole show by the way every man
I know every straight man. I know it's like weeping openly. I where is this toxic masculinity?
I'd like to see more of it. You know who has a lot of toxic masculinity recently women
They're tough as nails
But men are like openly weeping every straight friend. I have cries all the time
Yes, it's because I'm always telling them how horrible they are at everything, but who's gonna do that if not me
So this Nate is about toxic masculinity about men running around and being toxic and just
raping and pillaging essentially and there's like there's a scene where there's a mannequin on the floor and
Nate the character goes. I don't know what to do. What should I do with the mannequin on the floor?
Oh
is
Looking at someone like I know that there are rapists and I know that there's frat boy douche bag
I'm not the guy that doesn't believe any of that
But who is looking at someone on the floor and
Going there's a gray area here. I
Don't understand I
Watch someone have a heart attack once in a diner. I got up and left
I said goodbye. I
Was out who was looking at someone on the floor and I didn't go to a four-year college and I know things go on there
People drink whatever
But it seems like you know, it's like oh, there's a lot of gray area out there. There is but there's also not right
There's a lot of black and white areas of like don't rape people
There's a point in the show that's a little culty where she's like ask ask and the audience is like ask
Ask yeah
I'm just confused clearly a talented woman. I'm just confused about
The issue here of consent. I'm confused
About it apparently there's much more of a gray area than I had originally imagined I
Thought that if someone is too drunk to have sex with you do not have sex with them
If someone is passed out on the floor
Certainly do not have sex with them give them a blanket
Give them a blanket that Ellen DeGeneres made but don't have sex with them
So I'm just confused but again people are gonna get mad at me. They're gonna be like you don't understand the rape that goes on
Everyone is raped at every minute of their lives
You fat fuck just cuz you don't get raped doesn't mean
I'm sorry. I've never been raped you got to apologize to people now that you haven't been raped and that you're not dead of COVID
Every day you should be dead the choices you've made in your life. I'm sorry. I'm not dead of COVID and I'm sorry
I haven't been right. I hope they happen at the same time so you can all have an I told you so festival somewhere
You have to apologize for just being alive
And it's just such a nice way to call you a fat fuck what people call you you better watch out about this
People call you they go you got to be careful
You have to be real you have to be careful. You have to be very careful
You look at you if people are calling you and telling you to be careful you look like shit
That's just the reality if people are really calling you concerned about COVID. Yeah, you look like shit
That's just a great way to know and just know it just be aware. Yeah, I've had fat friends
I was talking to Ray this morning. I've had fat friends that had no idea. They were fat
It was a girl in the in a girl the store the other day and they're like
She's walking around lashed in a polo outlet. She's loud
She's like getting everyone to help her and find things
If you're a fat person in a clothing store, you should treat it like a heroin addict who just got out of prison
Keep your head down walk around quietly and get out of there
Go in try a few things on quietly and then go
Oh, none of them fit and then leave and then go sit in your car and you chick-fil-a
Don't be like the queen of the store be like got me
So when someone calls her up because you got to watch out for COVID
She goes, what do you mean? But that's a great way if you don't know how you look
How concerned have people been about you getting COVID?
If people call you up and they're like, I don't think you should leave your house
Even to take hey even to take a walk put that mask on even to take a walk put that mask on
Because you know, you have to be very careful
You have to be very good. It's just another way of telling someone
We are shocked. You're not dead already. We are so surprised. You're not dead every time you post on social media
We imagine that it's a memorial page. It's an in memoriam. We can't imagine. It's actually you
We can't imagine. There's a disease out there that hasn't killed you
That's how people are acting right now
That was your family in Texas with doing with COVID is anyone had it does anyone, you know, have it not yet
Well, my uncle had it actually I forgot how did he do? He's okay. He's powering through just a mild case
He got it at the school where he coaches, you know, I think I had it in March
I had you know, and I know everybody says this. This is a constant refrain
But in March, I was sicker than I had ever been
Right. Yeah for like four weeks. I was so
Sick, I
Was coughing I had a fever. I was like waking up in the middle of the night shivers a whole thing and
And then I you know took me three or four weeks to get my strength back and to feel
That I was back
It kicked my ass. Yeah, so I am convinced that that was something
Maybe COVID I
Know a young healthy dude who's now gotten it twice. Oh, really? Yeah, so I'm wondering if if the antibody tests are wrong
Or like maybe he never had it the first time. Maybe there was a false positive
Or you just people getting it twice supposedly the second case you get supposed to be mild
It's supposed to be a mild case
And then McDonald's who McDonald's goes let's bring back the McRib
During a pandemic what's sick executive goes, you know what you know what this country needs how many people died yesterday
You know what this country needs let's bring back the McRib
Get up what the McRib is because the McRib when I was a kid was legendary. Do you mean what's actually in it or what?
but what it is I it's it's
It's a fake riblet pork patty
Drenched in barbecue sauce. I mean the original McRib was iconic, but I don't know if they're doing the original McRib
Let's read the wiki let's go over there to the right. Oh
Yeah, to the right the McRib is a barbecue flavored pork sandwich periodically sold by the international fast food restaurant chain McDonald's
You could just say McDonald's it was first introduced in 1981. Wow four years before I was born
After poor sales it was removed in 1985 the year I was born
Ingredients McRib pork patty home-style roll McRib sauce pickled slices
slivered onions 22 grams of fat
240 calories of energy from fat, okay, that's good. So you're able to to turn the key to start your car and then
500 calories it doesn't seem that bad Ben is it that unhealthy? I don't think 500 calories is that it sounds fine
Maybe I was hasty and judging the good people at McDonald's
But we're gonna go get one after the show just to try it out just to see what's going on
With it
See how many people are out during the lockdown?
Imagine the cops knocking on our door like where you what are you doing?
We're going to get the McRib. Let him go
Are they arresting people supposedly they're arresting people now for knowingly spreading COVID
If you knowingly spread COVID you are going to be arrested
Are there COVID bug chasers like you know, there's bug chasers where people want to get HIV
Are there people that just want coronavirus? They're like I need it. I
Need to get COVID just going to Walmart walking there are bug chasers people that want to get HIV and you've watched documentaries about this
Why do they want to do it? I?
Mean, it's clearly like a self-destructive thing, right? So they they I think it's truckers mostly truckers
Is like yeah, that's want to get HIV. I think so. I mean it's a truckers
They don't have enough problems self-driving cars Elon Musk
They just want to get AIDS. That's how bad it is the truckers want to get AIDS
Because job security in this country is so
Is that really who it is truckers? I imagine it's like glory hole guys at truck stop bathrooms
You know, they they pick up prostitutes and stuff on the road gets lonely some of those ends imagination is so dark and
Troubling even to me that asking him to even just a simple question
he goes down a very dreary and
Disturbing and he's creating this reality where there's just lonely truckers on the road
At glory holes that just want and now why do they want AIDS? I don't understand. I get lonely. I get trucker
I get glory hole. I don't get AIDS. I guess you just want to die, right?
It's like the sick like I'm a like people were like I'm a piss pig like piss all over me and shit all over me like yeah
Give me give me all your diseases that you have. I'm a piece of shit, you know, who's
Is that are those the truckers as well? They're getting pissed shit on some of them are piss pigs and you know
Now what is a piss pig?
Someone who wants you to piss on them piss in their mouth. They want to drink piss, you know
They want to feel I feel like my attitude about drinking piss
It's been situational where it's like I feel like if it's appropriate to do at the time
You might want to taste a little bit, but then probably spit it out. You're open to it. Interesting
Well, I don't want if someone is hot enough if someone is good-looking enough. They can get you to do whatever they want
If someone is good-looking enough, they could get me to how go to the holiday with my family
It's true, you know what it so I think that if somebody's really good-looking says piss in mind
I will go to piss in your mouth. You have to say okay
No
Shit is a different story. Yes a really good-looking person says I want to shit on you that is probably
Disturbing because then you tell all your friends like oh, I fucked this person. They're really hot and then they go well
Yeah, what I how was it? You go well
I
Got shit on and then it's the ruins the story I would imagine right it ruins the story or people are people are more intrigued
It's odd how sexuality develops like it's very strange
Like I always thought I might not be gay if women were more intelligent
Is that true? I always believe that
So if women had a little bit more up here, I would probably fuck them
That's a joke. We have many female fans, and that's an ironic joke
Because people expect my audience to be full of misogynist and it's not it's full of sensitive crying men and
and
Lovely women and that's what we we have more women all the time all the time all the time
They're rolling in here these ladies the couples watch together the couples watch together
Isn't that nice and as soon as quarantine ends we know what happens to those relationships
Wow
Maybe not are you afraid of your wife leaving you after quarantine?
We're both working as normal. So kind of unaffected well I
Don't know maybe me and Whitney Cummings will no longer be married after quarantine that she threw a friend's giving
What a horror, you know and I respect her but she threw a horrible event at her home
And I was doing a friend's giving so Whitney then decided to do a friend's giving an hour after me
That's nice Dan Carney's in the hospital. He just transitioned. No, he he had a minor hip surgery. He'll be fine
What is that on your Instagram? Yeah? Yeah, I'm going to yours. Yeah find that picture of Whitney's decor
It was it was grotesque. So she has all these influences over her house
And I you know some of them are nice Olivia Munn whatever and you got a man to surname. I don't know who she is
I don't care
And then you have the caches and all these people
Look how much autumn is at that table. It was grotesque
It's I let Whitney is very successful, but this is target. This is Walmart shit
Yeah, which is fine if you are at that place in your life. Look how orange and it's too much
It's too drenched in it. That's a plastic fork, too. It's a plastic fork
Whitney also is too much of a dude to give a dinner party
The great socialites the great women of our time
Rich women who know how to give a party. There's a there's a vibe to be created Whitney's a guy. She's a dude
She's a successful dude
There's one black guy at the table and she starts haranguing him about where he pays taxes
It was the most uncomfortable thing anyone had ever seen
She goes, why do you pay taxes? I go you can't ask that
We're eating vegan stuffing that tastes like a shoe and she's yelling at a black about his taxes
And she doesn't mean it
But it she's trying to have a conversation about state taxes, but it just looks bad if you have one black guy there
And you go, what are your financials?
What's your credit score?
It was very strange
Now I had to cancel I canceled my friends giving because we were going to do it
I would give a lot of people and then the whole thing just became insane and it's like, you know what?
It's too much of a problem now you have 50 people in masks who wants that right?
Somebody could test positive. I got to make call 50 people the next day and go hey
Thanks for coming by the way see a doctor and I was gonna do a theme like a you know like a Tuscan winter wonderland because I'm a classy bitch
Tuscan winter wonderland Italian food, which is tough to pull off. She went full-autumn
Gross I
Mean the color of the bowls. I
Mean just grotesque and I love Whitney and it's great and I appreciate
Everything she's done for me. She's given me a lot of furniture for my home
Which I paid her for but that's still nice because it's it's less than it would have cost me to purchase by a lot
Did I appreciate her and her friendship?
But this is not how to give an event. It's not how to do a party
It really wasn't it was very odd, but I felt like it was very rushed
It was something I was gonna do and she's like, oh, I want to do it now, too
Mm-hmm, and the chef was okay. The chef was hot
The chef like has like saddle leather boots on and like long hair and it's like oh enough a
Chef should look like Raymond Cump and by the way
These shirts that we have on I am a wine princess bitch our new Ray Cump merch
Model it. I am a wine princess bitch
This is Ray Cump merch get the link up where you can get these
Ray Cump was arrested outside of Miley Cyrus's house in Tennessee all of these shirts go to his legal defense fund. It's very important
That Ray have an adequate defense against Cyrus and her lying family. By the way, Noah Cyrus her her
Sister called Candace Owens a nappy headed hoe right saw that on our story not cool Noah
There it is this is a picture of a wine bottle holding machete
Ray is an artist. I mean, this is art. He drew this right? He drew this and this is I'm a wine princess bitch
shirt that you can get at the Ray Cump store bonfire.com
Store slash Cump
Right. Yeah bonfire.com slash store slash Cump. It's on his Twitter. Yeah, it's on his Twitter and
And it's a great shirt. It's great for the holidays. It's great to just give the family, you know, I
Don't know but it is phenomenal
But I'm disappointed now that we're in a lockdown again. We can't have the party. It was gonna be a fun party
You know, we talked about it many times on the show. We can't do it
We just have to we have to do it, you know another time now, which is sad, you know, but
What are you gonna do? But wouldn't he filled in with you know?
Orange play. I mean, what do you I mean, it looked like a
Like a like a high school like a party
Like that you have like a high school theater kid party. Yeah, like a church potluck almost. Yeah
Megan and I and I and I and I and I respect the effort and she she's a good person and she works hard
But giving a part there's an art to entertaining and and giving an actual party. Yes, and it was a tremendous
and despicable
display a failure of epic proportions a
Strange vibe an odd configuration of people
Very sad people
wealthy and yet sad a
an interesting, you know
One woman whose laugh was so absurd that it was just derailing the whole thing one woman was
You know, I just we Irish goodbye
We just laughed I looked at Jim Jeffries. I said, I gotta get out of here. Oh, yeah, me too
Oh, I think I'm gonna Irish good boy, too. He's a happy guy, huh? Anyway, I love him very funny
He is very funny genius, but you know, but he's you know, he's more muted in person
You know, nobody's any fun in LA. That's the problem. Nobody's fine with these two 19 year old tiktok kids come here
Sweet kids, but I mean, I mean, can you tell anyone apart from anyone else here?
Everybody's just like I'm on twitch. I'm a gamer. Nobody has any anecdotes. Nobody has a fun anecdote
Nobody turns around you in this town and my mother died during childbirth
I never knew her
Nobody has a fun anecdote
My father was a junk and tried to molest me and the only way I got out of it was by pushing him down the stairs and paralyzing him
Oh
No one says that everyone goes. I'm on twitch
That's all anyone says I stream on twitch
I was beating up every day and then I became strong and and and and and
Raped every nerd that beat me up. I realized I was gay, but also a fighter and wants to fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him hard
No one has stories like that. Everybody just goes. I just sit in my room
And I just look at a screen and then the people on the other side look at me
And we are now we are going to do twitch and I don't want you coming to me now and saying hey
You should all over this and then you do it. That's what it is here. Okay
The game is to be played. So I'm going to get on twitch and I don't need people calling me a hypocrite. Okay, don't call me a hypocrite
Don't get mad at me
Because uh it can't just so much came on here and and uh through some shade
at
What am I supposed to do? I push back. She says this like I don't agree
Maybe uh, I don't know about that
They wanted me to yell at her at the erogan. They they had that viral moment where he's like, why don't you believe scientists?
And she just said I don't I don't like science and he's just like, but why she's like, I don't
Who cares? What did that do for any of you morons?
The do for anyone she's more popular now that she was then you think that worked
Oh, yeah, she was dethroned after that, huh? Does it work?
Does it work idiots?
I'm telling you the only thing that works
Apparently is heroin
It's the only thing that does its job
In this country because everybody who's on it is like hey my cousin keeps going back to it
Yeah, she said to me once she looked right at my face and goes. I love heroin
Yeah, she goes. I love our family and you but I love heroin
It was like what do you tell someone like that to do like but have you ever watched bravo like she's she's found her thing
She's she's in she's in the in the cut. She's focused, you know
Do you want to be more productive in the new year?
Yes, do you want to start an e-commerce business and get take advantage of the online digital marketplace?
Absolutely. How are you going to do it?
I don't know. Do you have a service that I could use?
Shut up
You haven't you haven't thought about that
No, I haven't I want to do it, but I don't do what what do you even want to do?
I don't know. I want to start an e-commerce business with doing what
I don't know. It's overwhelming. Like I have to chip thing. What are you shipping? You don't even have a business yet
What are you trying to do?
I don't know. I just thought I could have a business
I'm not really what kind of business
Um embroidered golf balls with people's names on them like for Christmas like you could how do you embroider a golf ball?
Uh, well, I would use like, you know sharpies like, you know, isn't that more engraved than embroidered?
I guess engraved so it's you want to engrave golf balls. Yeah. Yeah
What are the margins?
Because in order for me to even tell you about this product
I have to be confident in the rest of your business plan and it doesn't seem like you have one
We're playing around with some new ideas here about some new spin-off side shows that we may do
In relation to the podcast, we don't know. We don't know. We don't know
But we're we're talking to some interesting people and
Coming up with some interesting new ideas about having the most fun while we're in LA because while we're in LA
However long that may be
We got to make the most of it. We got to have fun. Right. This is going to feel like the Christmas I spent at Lisa's lounge
alone
You know, and I remember that
Clear as day it was Christmas Eve. I did not go with my family. I went alone to a bar in Long Island called Lisa's lounge
And that people were doing cocaine on the bar and drinking and then the owner came out and he said to me
He goes, this is what this place has always been about. He took a key bump and he goes
I've always wanted people to have a place to go when they didn't have anywhere to go for the holidays
That's why he opened the bar and I said, well, that's good
I said, thank you so much. He's dead now. I said, thank you so much
And I sat there and I got drunk and I was drinking with these two people a guy who inherited a lot of money
and then a hooker
started
Taking his money and and and and and then he lost all of the inheritance and ended up living back in his car
The guy got like a get out of jail free card got 120 grand a woman swooped in
Fleeced him and he ended up living right back in the car and he would outside of the bar every night
He would just sleep in his car. It wasn't even a big car. It's like a small pickup
And he would just knock back
And then the bartender's in the morning would knock on his window. I was like, hey, what's up, buddy?
And he'd
Shake off the sleep go right back in and have a cocktail and those are the types of people I miss living in LA
I don't find any of them because they had great stories and they you know
These are people a lot to do and I spent a Christmas Eve with him and with the woman
Who took all his money who he then started talking to again?
Like he was mad at her and then he was like, well, I lost all the money anyway
Why keep this beef up, right? I'm not gonna kill her
And so they hung out and we were all hanging out
We're just having a good time and I remember that that was one of the lowest points of my life but truly
low point
of my life like one of the worst
Times that I can remember where I truly didn't want to be on earth anymore
and
I can't even describe to you how much worse Whitney's friends giving was
Like how much worse it was
Than that moment of my life. It would be I couldn't even describe
I couldn't even put together a metric to make you understand what a troubling experience it was
How are holiday retail numbers? You know the guys at cmbc as everything's going to get so bad
They're going to just be cramming out of all in their face. They're going to be looking at each other like
How are holiday re and they're going to have to stare at each other like how are the holiday numbers?
Maria, what are the holiday retail numbers right now?
Uh, what is this is this recent?
Yeah, these are people that are lying
Yeah, they think there's going to be a strong finish to 2020 in spite of the pandemic
Yeah, I think not
I don't know
Well, we're entering a place now. We're entering a time now where the disparity
between people that are fucked and people who aren't fucked is so
The chasm is so great
Which is why everyone yells at me. Oh, it's a conservative Nazi
No, I think there's a huge problem with the level of inequality in this country. It's unsustainable
I've said it many times, but now we're at a point now where it's we
It's a we view
the random charity of influencers as some as like, oh
Like when they print that article about the kid that gives the blankets, what are people supposed to go? They go, huh?
That's
Like what is the reaction supposed to be everybody's supposed to go well that well that's good
What a nice young man
There are still good people in the world like we've gotten so bad now
Where those types of stories are that's like feel good news
That's feel good news that things are so bad now that the homelessness crisis is so crazy
If 10 of them get a snuggie
It's a news story
Because people are like wow we need something to just fucking pep everyone up
Because everything's corona and death and everyone's dead and no one can talk to their family and
everyone's dying alone in bubbles in hospitals and nurses can't handle anything and everybody's
Everything's fucked at 700,000 people a month or filing for unemployment
Trump's not leaving and he's going but he's not and he's still tweeting and biden has no clue
And things are bad and they're gonna get worse and the third wave
I had started an article the other day about the third wave get ready for the third wave
But in between that in between your anxiety
Your your fucking heart palpitations from your coffee and the ssri's you take just to get out of bed
Please enjoy this very heartwarming christmas story about an influencer handing a blanket to one of the now 90 trillion homeless people
That live under bridges that used to work in restaurants
Unfortunately, they never worked at gavin Newsom's winery because then they'd still have their jobs and can someone burn down his winery
metaphorically
As a bit in an article burn it down in an article. Do you see what I'm saying here?
Not physically. That's illegal burn it down with satire
Burn it down with satire
Mr. Newsom
He is good-looking people like him who don't give a shit
They should not be allowed to run a state
They should not be allowed to run the state of california
Just kind of that pretty boy. I own a vineyard
I have multiple look at what he owns go get with gavin Newsom owns he owns everything he owns vineyards and wineries
He founded the plump jack winery
Napa yeah up in napa
When's he up when's he out of here? I want to get logan paul in there as governor
Gotta get this guy out
These people are are are establishing rules for lockdowns and then they're breaking the lockdown
He had dinner at the french laundry
Another mayor did something all of these mayors are breaking their own lockdowns
They travel the guy in denver traveled the man goes. Well, I gotta try I gotta see my family
The austin mayor too. He like yeah, they're all breaking your life
If you break a lockdown and I said this on twitter
I got 40 000 likes if you break a lockdown and you're an elected official
You should be fired. You should resign. You should be forced to resign. Your party should abandon you
He had businesses in san francisco like in the mid 2000s like he was a businessman
Here's my thing with gavin Newsom. I just think what he's doing the the homelessness in california
The problems in california are so great
And there's absolutely no plan
Coming from anybody that makes anyone feel comfortable about opening a business here buying a home here
Um, I tell ben all the time. I'm like, we're here
For a period of time. I don't know when that ends. I do not know when that ends
You know musk just came out and said he's not leaving california
So that was old news and now the rumor is he is leaving
Dude, we thought we saw those starlight satellites last night. I thought it was ufo's
I thought it was ufo's and it's actually elan musk starlight satellites
Which are what what's he doing up there? No idea. It looked like drone formations, you know
We really are at a point where the technology is so amazing and yet it doesn't make anyone's life better
Which we kind of knew dead kazinsky knew that
And i'm not saying
You understand what i'm saying
I'm not saying that ted kazinsky was right
I'm saying that he had elements of truth in what he said just like kandace owens had elements of truth
Everybody has elements of truth in a larger narrative. What a tale we weave
You know
Like kandace owens talked about her her cousin in the projects
What was her cousin's name? mia?
I think so. I wonder if she really has a cousin in the projects or she just made that up
She's like my cousin in the projects mia doesn't know who trump is like wait, what?
That was like the most racist thing she said
And my cousin mia in the projects didn't know what brexit was. She didn't even know what great britain is. She's like, what the fuck great brit
I'm like, is that really what was happening? She's like my cousin mia doesn't even know trump. She'd be like who trump
Who trump i'm like no one
Is that stupid right? Do you really have a cousin in the project or you have invented some ratchet
cousin to tell people about
My cousin mia is pregnant with non babies. She don't know who trump is
Is that really what's going on or?
Have you just invented that character?
To just make people more racist
It's like a character to pull out where she's like listen you want to really hate black people
My cousin mia doesn't know what a fork is
She doesn't know she smokes all her food
She smokes her food. She rolled a sandwich in a blunt. I saw it. I love and then she goes. I love me. I love my cousin mia
She's my cousin mia. I love her
But she's an ignorant
stupid
welfare taking and you're like whoa, hold on
Like when I watch the interview back. I'm like the thing I should have pushed back on
Is the description of her cousin who lived in the project like that was maybe the worst thing ever that I didn't you know
My cousin mia man, she just lives in the projects and you know
Every time I go there. I just do the alphabet with her one time just to show her
Show her what it is. I'm like wait what?
Hold on
You seem like you're being a nut
But
What are you gonna do next week? We will have diamond and silk
On we have a christmas special diamond and silk the reverend jesse lee peterson
Tesla CEO ilan musk has told friends and associates he plans to move to texas the rumor today so who cares
Good for him
You know, I liked him and then he named the baby that crazy name. I I was I was done after I know roga loves him
I was done after that. I was done after he named the baby the math equation
The baby name I was kind of done. I was just kind of like, okay, man. I get it
Yeah xa ea too. Yeah, I just
I don't know I after that I said
Let's just let's just move on
Yeah, you know
I can't
I can't be involved, but I wish everyone the best for the lockdown and the holiday season. I hope that you are
enjoying yourselves and finding uh
You know, I'm gonna get a christmas tree this year. I haven't had a tree in a long time
You should get one. I'm gonna get a christmas tree
Should we do a I think I should get a christmas tree and put masks on it. I call it a cova tree
Yeah, little tests and tests little tests and masks
A cova tree that might be fun
A cova tree
I mean, I do want to get a christmas tree. I want to enjoy the holiday as much as I can
You know as someone without a family and many friends and who's
Disgusted by most of what he sees and hears and feels
I do want to still enjoy the holiday season, you know
In a rapidly decaying oligarchy
That's so it's barely funny anymore. Like that's how that's how bad things have gotten
They're they're not even funny not even because they're too tragic. They've always been that
They're not funny anymore because there's a remarkable
sameness
To everything like we feel like we're in round two of something. It's like we're and we're going again
We're going again
Get ready
You know
I'm just kind of like when the fuck are we going to break out of it?
And I wonder what post quarantine is going to look like are people going to say fuck technology?
Are they just going to say I want to connect with real people again
I want to connect with human beings again. We've lived our lives on these screens. We've sacrificed
everything
For in the service of algorithms
Is that going to be the vibe are people going to say fuck it throw away the tv?
I mean throw it in macbooks and if any iPhones we're going to run out. Let's go hiking again
Let's go swimming. Let's go do what we want to do. Let's do music festivals. Let's do live comedy
Let's do live theater. Let's get out there. Let's reconnect with people. Let's is that what's going to happen
Is that what's gonna even as I say it? I know the answer is no even as I say it no
But I mean that would be like a resurgence of light like you finally go back outside and you go man
I missed life
I missed going to a diner with someone at lunch with a friend. I don't even like
But I missed that I missed the feeling of going out to a crowded bar. I miss being on a crowded subway
I miss being on a plane where people are coughing and sneezing and I didn't think I was gonna die when I left
I mean, when's that gonna come back? I missed the feeling of being in an office
And opening the refrigerator and seeing who brought what lunch and what I could technically steal
I missed shitty office Christmas parties. I miss
You know going out and seeing people that you you you you hate far less than you should
Aren't those nice people that you hate far less than you should
You know, I should hate this person a lot more based on everything about them and yet
I still
have some
level of it's like
fine
fine
That was a lot of my friends throughout my entire life. You'd go
Okay
fine
You're here
And and I missed that I missed the tacit
Agreements we make the the small just like everything now is too intense. There's no casual anything anymore
Everything you got to be in every friendships like your best friend every person that you talk to is like super close
I miss casual friendships. I miss acquaintances. I miss shit. They didn't matter
I miss talking to someone and then watch them hit by a boss and I'm meh and walking away
I miss so much of life needs to go back to the casual
Where it doesn't matter the breeze that blows the freedom to not care now
Everything is so intense because you could die. I guess
So you every fuck every friendship every business deal
Everything is super uber intense
Everything to decision to go to the store weigh the risk. What am I doing?
Have these people over are they clean? Have they been careful? Who have they been seeing?
Everything is too intense. You can't casually hate people in your vicinity anymore
You can't just casually invite people over and when they leave look at your friend and go, you know, they're not that smart
They think they're smart. They're not
You can't do it anymore
because everything
feels so intense
And I think that that's sad that we need to introduce the casual
back to life
We don't have the casual now. Everything is a big fucking production
everything is super
intense and very involved
Everything you want to do is involved
and every friendship you have now
is like trauma bonding
And that's good for certain instances, but I think a lot of people we got to go back now
Obviously, you can have a tight-knit group of close friends, but we got to go back to the casual
Where people because this is not life this unending drum beat of hell and horror is not life
We have to go back to something that feels more like who
Care no one has said who cares and meant it in years
And that's a big problem
Because that means everybody cares
And that's a huge issue the last thing you want people to do is care because they fuck it up
They fuck it up
you ever have somebody
Get really excited about all the things they want to help you with and then you go
back off
Back off
Nobody said who cares you got you got to say who cares you got to say to yourself like yeah, man
Yeah, have him over or don't
We'll go to that thing or we won't right who cares
What does it matter?
What does any of it matter now everything matters?
and and and it's just
Unfortunate and that's what I want. I want the return of the casual. So that's what I hope when this is over
I'm just going to travel and walk around and go
I don't care
I don't care
And that's going to feel so good to not care about anything or anyone
Do you get it? That's what we're trying to get back here
total and utter
Fucking what is the word i'm looking for nihilism or no when you don't care it's with an a apathy apathy
Hey
Let's get back to that. You see a nurse you go fuck her. You don't feel bad for her. Yeah. Yeah, fuck her
Who I don't know that bitch
Can't we get back to that?
You look at politicians you go fuck. Oh, yeah, they're lying this scum get him away
Do you go or own your winery jerk off wine? But I don't care
Because nothing
Is a life or death
deal
But things are too serious right now and we can't go back. We need to be able to go back to that day
No, the schools are open the schools are closed. Fuck them
We need to go back to that
I'm thinking about things I've never even thought about. I'm like, are the kids safe in the school?
I just want to go back to that we all must go back to that
It's the american way
Truly
It's the american way
To go back to a casual
casual
nonchalant
Things I care about people now so much for no reason
Really truly I look at people and I go I care about them and I want them
To be okay
And that's destroying me
You know worrying about other people is absolutely undoing me
It's destroying me. I need to go back to a thing where I don't worry
about
anyone even myself
I just need to go back to that we need to go back to that as a kind of a lot of people are like, oh, this is not
True and this is making me think about a lot of interesting things
That's what I try to do on the show, but they're like this is like this time has actually been a blessing. No, it hasn't
It's been a journey. No, it hasn't it's been really good for me and it's really showed me who my close friends were
No, it hasn't
You're trauma bonding
You're in a dugout. You're in a foxhole. It's it'll you're in a war people are shooting at you. Yeah. Are you close with the person next to you?
I bet you are
No, your friends are your friends when things are going well
Now when things are when things are going horrible
This is another thing I want to clear up by the way
Okay, because this is the other thing that people don't understand
They go your friends are only your friends in the shit when things are in the shit
That's not true
Tons of people love to be around shit and misery and we'll find you your friends are actually your friends when things are going
Well, they're not jealous of you. They're not they you know threaten them
You have a good life and they're happy for you and that's a real friendship when you were in the worst time ever
Actually, many people come out and they're like, I'm here for you
But what they really want to do is just watch you
9 11 style jump out of the south tower window and fall to the ground
Because that's what people like to do. They like to watch each other emoliate
So don't put too much stock into anything
When things are good
That's when you figure out who your friends are and things have been good for me right now
I mean things are good for us right now
Even though things are bad in the world the show has been good and the live dates have gone good and I have some friends
I have a handful of friends and they have a lot of acquaintances
But I have a small I've less than 10 really close friends far less than 10
I don't want to I don't want to say how many I really have because any at 10 people are like well
I thought it's all problem, but it's a small group of people that I'm friends with now
and and
When I when I was doing horribly
I had a hundred friends
Like when I look at the text I got when things are going really really like when I was just an open micro in New York City
And nobody cared I had no career
Everyone was like hey happy Thanksgiving man that we don't take photos of our families. These fucks. They don't understand us
We're the next generation. Fuck these fucks
Go in there steal a little money out of the purse. Give me a little
That and then then everybody's uh, they're all out for they're all in in in for it
But then when things go go decently you truly see there's a few people that actually come out to be a friend
That is the opposite of what you're told you're told that your real friends are around you during the hard times untrue
Untrue your real friends are around during the good times
That's the reality and many of you don't want to hear that
But
That's the reality it's the good times
Go give blankets to people that don't need them
You understand
Impress me you want to impress me. Do you want to really impress me tiktok stars?
Go take those blankets
And give them back to ellen
Knock on her door
Hi
Give them back to her go you deserve these you crazy bitch
That would impress me
Because that would mean they got because a blanket for homeless person is nice
It's a nice thing
But I would be much more interested if
That homeless person
Was a sociopathic
millionaire talk show host
Then
They get the blanket
Then you see
And why why tim you don't understand you're sitting in the back. I go well
I know that there's a point here because there's no story if you give ellen the blanket
So it's real
You see
If you give the millionaire the blanket
It's real
Because no one reports or thinks favorably of you for doing it
You get it now or you still confuse dummies
Give charity to the rich
Yes or yes
You
Do you want to prove
Do you want to prove
That you have the christmas spirit give to those that have
Give to those that have
Because it's real
Because it's real there's no ulterior motive give to those that have more than you
Giving to those that have less than you
Shows me that you want me to come up and pat you on the back
For the things that you are doing for those that have less than you
It's not right
Give to those that have more
If you see someone that's doing well
Help them do better
That's that's the real less
The christmas carol was great
Up until the end when scrooge became a loser
Because what scrooge was saying is we have to work
Oh, but mister i want to go have
I want to go to the have the holidays with more family and scrooge scrooge
Gave him a job right
Scrooge gave bob crotch at a job. Is it scrooge's fault that he had a cripple?
No scrooge goes hey coming to work
And be a clerk
Even knows what that is right with a quill pen be a freak in that corner
And i'll fucking be a miser and run the ship
And then what did bob crotch you do?
I forget he goes i want to go home with my family because it's christmas and scrooge goes you better fucking you better figure it out
You better get this shit done
And and uh, and I don't remember
I think cratchet leaves
Cratchet leaves and goes home to be with his loser family his his son like
Like his crippled son and his
Disgusting wife and in this hovel that he lives in and then he's there and then scrooge a fucking king
He gets harassed by these communist ghosts
AOC
Bernie sanders and uh
I don't even know
Yeah, ilhan omar
I was gonna say cornel west because he kind of has a ghost look
And then he wakes up the next day and he goes buy the fattest turkey and give it to do this loser cratchet
It's not real do you understand that they had to scare him
They had to send the ghost scrooge knew he was right live in the security that you are correct
All the time
Even when you're not right
be right
And scrooge by telling cratchet you have to work you and things don't just happen
You have to work is the best lesson of that doesn't matter about the bullshit. I want to eat figgy pudding
Yes, yes, yes, but you must you must work
And that was the real lesson of the christmas count when he wakes up the next day and he goes
Here's the turkey
And bring the turkey
To the family
also like can you imagine
Like that wouldn't even work like like like he would send the turkey and like the wife would be like this is fucking guy
Who tortures you every day?
sending the turkey over now like
What's his game?
What's this guy's game this whole miser's piece of shit, you know
So that's how ben's wife feels about me like what I could I could do anything
I could deliver a uh Rolls Royce to the house for both of them
She'd go what is this do you have the brakes in what are we just trying to kill me?
So that's my whole problem with the christmas carol is that it's uh, it's a it's a
It's an assault on a on a on a business owner, right?
Scrooge and by the way, am I?
Is the show sponsored by turning point usa? Yes it is
And will I be doing a turning point usa is rereading of scrooge?
Yes, I will
And will I be doing it with charlie kirk? Well, I just may
And me and charlie kirk will reread a new version of scrooge where there is respect for the entrepreneur
Okay
And not some low-level vagabond clerk and his gimp son
We're doing a new version of the christmas count with respect for the entrepreneur
We're doing a new version of oliver twist
No, oliver twist. What's the famous line at oliver twist? Can I have some more?
Please sir. May I have some more?
And the new line when me and charlie have rewritten it is sir
I've had more than enough and everyone else has had too much and they're getting lazy
So can I please go back to work?
That's the new line
New readings of the turning point usa's new readings of the classics
With tim dillon and charlie kirk. I have not sold out. I have bought in
You see there's a difference between selling out and buying in and I find that
I just want to blanket
I just hope someone gives me a blanket
That's how you know you're doing bad. So the first reason
You know that you've had a bad week is if people call you up and they're like, hey
Uh, we just want you to be really careful
Because of coven
And the second reason you know you've had a bad week and you look like shit is if a tiktok star hands you a blanket
Then you know
Things are not going well. So if those two things are happening
You might want to you might want to change
What you're doing before you have to great line for my old boss change before you have to he's in jail
change
Before you have to
You see
But what I said about friendship there is so so true
So correct and many of you will understand that and many of you won't understand it because you're trained in this basic
Bitch logic of just swallowing these hallmark fairy tales about what life is and they're like when the going gets tough
Shut up
It's not true
Okay
It's not true. So to the rules today or this give to those that have more
Because it makes you feel good and it's real
Okay, that's the rule
Uh, another rule is your real friends are around during times of jubilation not misery
It's very true
You might not like that
The third rule is only attend the party of witty coming's house if you've planned it
She is I mean god that was
What did you think what was your impression of it?
Well, I'm always on the hook for everything here because he doesn't say anything
I mean the food was kind of like inedible
In my opinion. Yeah, it was bad. What do you think about the uh, what was vegan and shit? That's what they do in LA
It's vegan. Yeah, I just can't do that. Yeah, it's you know, it's the satanic priestess does it
Blesses it. What what do you think about? Uh, what do you think about the decor? What was the overall vibe?
It was it felt more halloween to me like the it did the cook had a big
Like hats and like everything was orange. It felt now you were around for the planning of my event
Which didn't happen, but it was still planned. Correct. I assisted
It was just gonna be a different level
Oh, yeah, I know you're just gonna be a little bit of a different level. Yeah, I mean a different level
More attention to detail
You know, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, that's all
and a funner crew
Yeah
You think
I mean she's got like
It's like half influencers half reality stars
People that she's dug out of a comedy chest from 1992 haven't worked in 30 years
people
I mean it's like some influencers like my titties a trillionaire
And then some comic next to them that lives in a car
It's like what is going on
You know some Instagram influencers was like look at my golden pussy and then the person next to them was like
I live in a rav four I found
So there's no semblance. I don't even understand what's happening there, you know
It's like when people with drugs you hang out people without drugs. It would be like, yeah, I don't
Right. Yeah. What are you doing here?
I
Very strange
New studio being built. When do you think we'll have the new studio right like actually by the new year?
We have to get some custom things built. It's going to take a couple weeks. It's going to take a couple of weeks
Thank you for everybody who is supported the fake business campaign fake business will be doing real business up until
Oh, it's over now. Well, if you're on the west coast and this episode's up, you might have a couple hours to still buy
Yeah, I mean if you haven't bought it by now, what are you really doing? Yeah, what are you really doing out there?
You know, so we're going to leave now. We're going to disobey the lockdown because this is not essential
Uh, well, we're at the McRib. We're a podcast so we're media
So I'm allowed to travel to your house and back to mine
So we're allowed to go get food right for because we have to come back and do ads after we go get the McRib. Good point
Hey officer
We're a podcast. Have you heard of podcasting?
We're the media. We are the media now. Another thing I said is a joke. It's now somehow real. It's true
We're the media
What a fucking
What an insane realization, huh? Yeah, we're allowed to leave our homes because we're the media. Yeah
You think Gavin Newsom's in an office one day going
You're letting these fucks go to and from each other's houses and you're telling people to burn down my wantaries
It's Gavin. It's a metaphor
The fan of the show is in there going Gavin. It's uh, he said do it with satire. Yeah
Burned down the want to be with satire
You know
Um, I'm not telling anyone
This is how I'll end the show
This is how we're gonna end the show. I am I just want to clarify right now. I am not telling anyone
to set Gavin Newsom's winery on fire
That is not what I'm doing at all
This is a joke
and I'm not
If you're in the area and you have a lit cigarette