The Tim Dillon Show - 269 - The Activist
Episode Date: September 19, 2021Tim goes into Meghan and Harry's Netflix adventures, a new show on CBS called "The Activist" (yes, it's real), talks about the first time he met Norm Macdonald, and talks Nicki Minaj, and the famous a...nd rich in this classic episode. Bonus episodes every week: ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow See Tim Live on the road: ▶▶ http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: 🩳 UNDERWEAR: Order with PROMO CODE Tim ▶▶ https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ 🔒 VPN: Get three months free ▶▶ https://www.expressvpn.com/timdillon 🥣 CEREAL: Use code TimDillon for free shipping! ▶▶ https://magicspoon.com/timdillon 🔵 BLUE CHEW : Use promo TD ▶▶ https://bluechew.com/ 🤖 MANSCAPED: Use code TIMD ▶▶ https://www.manscaped.com/ 👨🦱 HAIR LOSS: ▶▶ https://www.keeps.com/TimDillon 📦 SHIPPING: Enter code TIMDILLON ▶▶ https://www.shipstation.com/ 🎧 HEADPHONES: For 15% off! ▶▶ https://www.buyraycon.com/tim 🤳 COLOGNE AND SKINCARE: Use code TIM ▶▶ https://hawthorne.co/ 🛏️ BEDS: ▶▶ https://helixsleep.com/timdillon 🚗 INSURANCE: ▶▶ https://gabi.com/timdillon 🚬 QUIT SMOKING: Use code TIM: ▶▶ https://lucy.co ⚓ NICK DAVIS'S PODCAST (ANOTHER PODCAST SHOW) ▶▶ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtvB1iiShWreiKusHjzXI0w?sub_confirmation=1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/another-podcast-show/id1566793182 💆THERAPY ▶▶ https://www.betterhelp.com/TIMD 📦 BOX OF AWESOME ▶▶ http://boxofawesome.com use code TIMDILLON at checkout for 20% off 💊 MASF SUPPLEMENTS ▶▶ https://masfsupplements.com/ use code TIMD for 10% OFF 🧴 DUKE CANNON DEODERANT ▶▶ https://dukecannon.com/ use code DILLON for 10% off 💍 NORTHBANDS RINGS ▶▶ https://www.northbands.com/ use promo code TIM for 20% off BITCOIN CONFERENCE ▶▶ https://b.tc/conference use code TIMDILLON for 10% off CERTIFIED PIEDMONTESE BEEF ▶▶ 25% OFF with discount code TIMDILLON at https://www.cpbeef.com HELLO FRESH ▶▶ Go to https://www.hellofresh.com/timdillon12 for 12 free meals including free shipping! GET ACRE GOLD and start investing in physical Gold today! ▶▶ https://www.GetAcreGold.com/TimDillon MAKE CRYPTO SIMPLE! ▶▶ Visit https://Dchained.com/Inner-Circle and sign-up today. PSYCHO LAS VEGAS! ▶▶Check out the full lineup and purchase tickets at https://VIVAPSYCHO.COM BIRD DOGS! ▶▶ https://www.birddogs.com/ use code TIMDILLON DOORDASH ▶▶ Download the Doordash app and enter code TIMDILLON to get 25% off. SIMPLI SAFE ▶▶ https://simplisafe.com/timdillon to save 20% DRAFTKINGS ▶▶ Download DraftKings app and use the code TIMDILLON to get a free shot at a one million dollar prize ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ 🐦 Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon 🌍 Tim Dillon Live Dates!: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows 📹 Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC161r7ShBvMxfyzCtiSMRbg Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▶▶ Ed McMahon benavery33@gmail.com https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ #TheTimDillonShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show here with Ben Avery, our producer from a temporary studio in undisclosed location in Los Angeles, California.
R.I.P. Norm, out the gate, the worst story of the year, hopefully in comedy, you know,
Norm MacDonald passed away, one of the greatest comedians that's ever lived, respected by everybody in comedy,
no matter what kind of type of comedian you were or what you believed politically, everybody loved Norm MacDonald.
You were obsessed with Norm, but when Norm, you know, retweeted us, I remember that was like a massive day, right?
I don't remember what video it was.
It was the OJ one.
Yeah, I mean, he was just a fucking, that retweet was like everything when that happened.
And then he said some kind things about some of the stuff we did on Twitter, and that was awesome.
And, you know, some of the videos we put out and some of the clips of the podcast, he had said good stuff about,
and that just makes your life as a comic, right?
To have someone like that appreciate what you, especially because my story with Norm is not, it doesn't start out great,
because I did Last Comic Standing in 2000 and whatever, it never aired.
And I did my joke and I did well.
And it was him, it was Damon Wayans and Roseanne.
And Roseanne liked me.
Damon Wayans like, he was like not, he was just like, yeah, he just like smiled and left.
I think he said right on.
I don't know what he, he was just like barely there.
Like he wasn't, I don't remember anything either way.
And then Norm was like, how many years have you been doing comedy?
I'm like four.
He's like, what?
It takes 10 years to be a comedian.
What are you doing here?
I was like, oh.
And I remember that was the biggest gut punch I got in stand-up.
And I remember being at the Hilton by where they shoot all those shows by, where is that?
Universal City?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That area.
I was in the Hilton and I was just like, like, I couldn't even eat.
I was like, this is horrible.
And then I spoke to that one of the comics, I was staying with it at that point.
And he was like, last comic standing.
He's like, you go in there and they pay legends to tell you not to do what you love, which is kind of fun.
But I got over it.
I kept doing it.
And then he became a fan of us later on and a lot of shit we were doing.
And he was right.
You know, I was a four year, five year comic then.
It's like, you do need more time to mature.
He did some hilarious shit.
This clip is so funny.
Yeah, I was wondering if we could play this.
From the view.
Yeah.
I mean, there's just, by the way, you can go on a binge of Norm MacDonald stuff because
all of it is funny.
You will lose hours of your day.
Every rant, every joke, you go back to SNL when he was doing Bert Randall.
I mean, just, there's nothing that's not amazing, but play this from the view.
Do we don't want any more murderers?
I think we should just go on to the next question.
Oh, murderers.
Yeah.
Oh, Clint, he murdered a guy.
Yeah, you know, we're not allowed to put out no accusations with that one.
That's a little too far.
That's the way it doesn't work.
Let's just go on to the next question.
Yeah.
This is not my week.
What can I tell you?
Oh, it's not mine either.
I'm being very nice.
Okay.
He's a good boy.
Now, Norm.
Do you ever hear that?
No.
We don't need to talk about that.
I don't want to get into this, and I don't want to hear it, and this is not the place
to make those accusations.
And you're supposed to be funny.
What's going on right now?
Exactly.
So get with it.
There you go.
This is a live show.
Wow.
That's enough of Norm, but you have been properly chastised by Barbra.
So I'm not going to ask the next question.
I thought it was a matter of record.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Look, let me do this.
Okay?
I'll tell you what's a matter of record.
You will not be invited back if you don't shut up.
All right.
Yeah.
Next question.
What is Star Jones doing now, by the way?
Like, where did Star Jones land?
It's interesting.
Let's see.
What is she up to?
I think she did like a whole weight loss thing, right?
Was that the direction she went in?
Star Jones is an American lawyer.
What is she doing now?
She left the view in 06, so I mean, to see what she's doing now.
I don't want to lose too much of the show.
I don't want to be like 30 minutes into this.
We're still like, yeah, we don't really know.
So she went from the view to her original network, Court TV, now rebranded True TV.
Then the final episode of Star Jones aired on in 2008.
And I don't think she's done much since.
Well, she's in an episode of The Impractical Jokers.
Did you know that?
Oh, interesting.
Well, it's controversial because all the jokers dress up like her.
They put on fat suits and they do blackface.
And they all, because the whole joke is that none of them know that the other three are
also Star Jones.
The fun show called The Activist, which was going to debut on, I don't know, one of these
networks that wants nothing to do with me.
CBS.
CBS.
The Activist was announced and it was going to be a reality competition show where people
competed to be crowned the best activist.
In a battle for relevancy on social media.
Yes, yes.
It was something that I would pitch as a joke.
CBS decided to actually fund and make a show where people would compete to be the best
social media activist.
And when I criticize celebrity activism, it's not so much that it's not, I'm not saying
like, oh, it's not good.
I'm saying it's not real.
Like it doesn't exist.
See, it's, depending on the way you feel, it might be misguided, but it's not even happening,
is my point.
It's just people talking.
Nothing's going on.
Occasionally there's some charity or slush fund that you can't really trace where the
money goes.
Occasionally there's a fund raiser where people go and eat nice food and wear designer clothing
and they'll write checks and then a portion of that money gets funneled to something that
may help someone somewhere down the line.
But it's not really like direct action, right?
And this is really what it is.
And every now and then Hollywood like does something that's so heinous that they have
to disavow.
Usually they try to defend what they do, even though they're on very shaky ground.
Like the Imagine video, people are like, it makes people happy.
Shut up.
You're a cynic.
You know, remember that when everybody got together in the beginning of the pandemic,
when everybody was unemployed and they were shut down and nobody had a job and the hero nurses
we've heard endlessly about, supposedly the nurses found that comforting, I guess.
I don't know.
We couldn't get them PPE.
They were wearing garbage bags, but apparently seeing Gal Gadot and all these people sing
helped them.
But Hollywood every now and then just does something so egregious that they have to immediately
go, hey, our mistake and retool.
And the activist competition, it's like the apprentice for Black Lives Matter activists.
Truly.
No, it's the apprentice for woke activists on Instagram.
Like, you know, the tits out, you know, we've all seen the Instagrams, every hot chick on
Instagram and even most of the hot dudes, the profile picture is like BLM.
Make sure the pronouns are in there.
She, her BLM here are the tits.
That was the show.
They said, let's find hot, attractive, socially conscious activists to basically go and fool
the world using CBS, which is a pretty large platform.
Let's bring on people to play a trick, to play a joke on the world and say that they
are really concerned with activism, but have the time to participate in a reality show
on CBS in the midst of their very busy careers as activists.
They have the time to do a reality competition show.
Some would say it's a frivolous endeavor.
Oh, no, no, it's going to get them a lot of new people to follow them on social media so
they can continue to do better activism.
Okay, this is, this was the plot of the show.
This, by the way, you don't realize how long or how shows have to get made.
There's a process and I've been through the process many times and it's never worked,
but I know the process.
There are layers of approval that you have to get from many different people.
It's not just like one person goes, let's do it.
This idea had to climb a ladder of multiple people that had to sign off on this saying
that this was a good idea.
Also, this didn't start yesterday.
This idea was not hatched a week ago, which makes me think that this idea probably came
to an executive during the riots.
Yeah, the timeline makes sense.
The timeline does make sense.
So during the riots, after the murder of George Floyd, which was fucking,
like it was an execution killing of George Floyd,
and all of these things are all figuring out.
You know, you had a rice, this poor kid who got shot, you know, who had a BB gun,
and all of these different things that had made people really start talking about policing
and rights and all that.
During this time, someone in the town that I'm in right now had an idea for a show.
They had, they were looking at all these people on social media.
Remember the black square?
I put one up.
Yes, I remember.
No, I thought it was going to be a collage or something.
It didn't turn out that way.
The black square after, because you just, if you were white the next day,
you were just like, hey man, here's the black square, because that's nuts.
I don't want to stand on anyone's neck.
And listen, it was a CIA siob.
Sure, but sometimes every now and then, you just go, sometimes a CIA siob is better
than people going, why the fuck did this piece of shit not post a black square?
You look like you wouldn't post a black square.
So I threw up that black square.
And because that was, you know, people were really figuring out how they were going to
like be like, hey man, this shit's fucked up.
Like I'm not, I don't go in with the narratives that all cops are horrible people,
but there's a problem, right?
You can't stand on someone's neck for nine minutes.
This is an issue.
Around that time, when people were having those discussions, around that time,
when people were calling for these ridiculous things that have been reversed,
like defunding the cops and abolishing the cops, none of that really works.
But around that time, someone in the town I'm in now said, there's a show here.
That's what they said.
They go, there's a show.
There's a show.
They had to do this.
They had to sit in a room and do this.
With other executives, they had to go, we're so focused right now on positive change.
No, this is what had to happen.
And Ben's laugh, because he knows this is exactly-
There were tanks rolling down the street at this time, too.
No, no, no.
The country was on the brink of like, I don't want to say civil war,
but whatever was going on was, I mean, I remember smoking a cigarette in Palm Springs.
I was on the phone, Yanis, and we were watching these riots.
We were going, this is fucking crazy.
We were on the phone for two hours.
I smoked like two packs of cigarettes, just staring at these things.
It was unbelievable.
Just things getting lit on fire, and it was crazy.
During that time, someone went, you know, we're all in a meeting,
and maybe it was a Zoom meeting, probably nobody's in the office.
So on a Zoom call, they went, you know, there's just this young generation of activists
that we really respect.
You know, think Parkland.
You know, think David Hogg, Emma Gonzalez.
You know, they're young, they're hungry for change.
They're smart, they're well-spoken, they're telegenic.
We just feel like right now, this moment is so important.
They love the word moment.
They're like, this moment is so important.
What we want to do is pit these activists against each other on television,
in a competition setting, and have them do, and by the way, we haven't even,
we have not even gotten God help us to what the challenges would have been.
Because in a competition show, there needs to be challenges.
There needs to be something introduced as a variable to see who survives and who does not.
There's got to be, remember, you know, at the end of like any competition show,
survivor, you're off the island, project runway, whatever, top chef, pack your knives and go,
going back to the weakest link, you all the weakest link, goodbye, all of that, you're out.
So they had to dismiss, there was going to be a way to dismiss these activists.
I don't know what they were going to say.
It was designed to show, it was long hours and ingenuity that activists put into changing the world.
I mean, what were the challenges going to be?
Like, what I mean by that is this is a competition show.
Right, of course.
So there's got to be some type, because by the way, they had these discussions too.
They were like, there's got to be some type of competition here.
Otherwise, people are going to get bored pretty quickly.
So we need a challenge, like we need to see who, like, should we drop all of the people off in Ferguson?
This was real.
These were conversations that were had on Zoom by production companies and networks.
Should we drop them all off in Ferguson for the anniversary of Michael Brown's death and see what they do?
Would that, is that going to play?
Should we drop them off in Ferguson and see what they come up with?
What will they do?
What if they each have to do memorials to Michael Brown?
But they each, they eat, like, one, they all choose the memorial.
Like, some are going to do a parade.
Some are going to do, like, a sit-in.
Some are going to do, like, direct action.
Some are going to do, like, and we have to see who does it better.
We have small teams of activists.
I mean, what was the show going to be?
Was that, do they describe what the show was going to be?
So this person that was on the show, Alicia O'Sullivan, an Ireland-based activist and speaker who works to raise youth awareness on climate change.
She just wants to bomb Protestants.
That's not activism.
They got an Irish?
What?
She told the Daily Beast that she was contacted about appearing on the show by the interview.
She recalls she got the sense that no one quite grasped the concept of activism.
So whatever these challenges were, they didn't know what it was.
Here's, Hollywood doesn't know what activism is.
They think it's just another kind of entertainment.
Hollywood thinks activism is just another way to build a brand.
They think it's like skateboarding.
They think it's like, you know, somebody who's, like, into, like, yoga.
They don't understand that it's supposed to have, like, an effect.
They don't get it, because they don't want the effect.
They're living in $10 million houses.
They don't understand.
They think that, like, activism is just a brilliant way to build a brand.
They just, they don't get it.
They have no idea.
They don't.
They're like, oh, so you're the activist.
So you like care.
So we love it.
You're, like, socially conscious.
You're woke.
You're young.
You're hip.
I'm loving it.
Are you biracial?
Perfect.
You have the burden of educating one half of your family and the legacy of the other half of your family.
Love it.
I'm eating it up.
You are perfect.
You're 23.
Ivy League educated.
Perfect.
Grew up in the suburbs, but you had cousins in the inner city and visited them.
Yes.
This is what we want.
Now the goal of this, of course, for you is a book deal and Netflix.
Yes?
Well, I want to change criminal justice form.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sure.
We all do.
But the immediate goal here is we'd like to build your socials.
Do we see merch?
Do we see a clothing line?
Do we see a clothing line?
That's what a Hollywood is.
I mean, they just, it's not a town built by good people for good people.
This person said, so this person Hogan, they said they kept pressuring me to answer questions in a very certain way.
When I was recounting my personal story, they very offensively told me that I sounded like a robot.
I just felt so much pressure in those moments that I literally reached a breaking point on the call and burst into tears.
I guess that was the most horrifying moment because then there was the pleasure on his face like, yes, we finally got the shot.
We finally got you breaking on camera.
Yeah, well, that's what it is.
This sounds more like a documentary than a reality show.
I don't see any.
No, but they've changed it.
Yeah, now they've changed it from a reality show to a documentary.
It was going to be a competition, a reality show where there's a winner.
I saw they had metrics with social media followers.
It's kind of all I could tell.
Yeah, no, because again, their concept of activism is social media followers.
So to them, the rock is the biggest activist.
Right.
No, no, no.
And to people in Hollywood, the rock is the most successful activist in America because he's got, what, 115 million Instagram followers, something like that.
So he's the most successful.
So that's the metric they decide.
The Jenners are the second most successful activists in America because it's all based on social media followers.
Great.
Again, if you haven't been in this town or dealt with any of these people, this comes as a shock to you.
Right.
But it doesn't come as a shock to me.
What comes as a shock to me is how quickly they disowned it.
And you know why they disowned it?
Because who's this?
Usher.
Julian Hu and Priyanka Chopra-Jones.
Chopra-Jones.
Who's that?
Joe Jonas's wife or one of the Fred-Jones?
Who are the Jonas's?
Did I say Fred?
Well, the-
There is a Freddy one.
Bonus Jonas.
Say he hates being called that.
Uh.
I think he just lives in Soho and does crack.
The baby Jonas.
What's his name?
Well, there's only three though.
No.
There is four.
Interesting.
Kevin Jonas, Joe Jonas, Nick Jonas, and then who's the fourth?
The fourth.
I read about him.
He's just in New York all day and he has anxiety and he's on TikTok.
Frankie.
He's on TikTok.
There he is.
There he is.
He's on TikTok and I think he does pills, but I don't know.
So, you know what happened?
They announced a show.
Now you've got to remember, these celebrities all signed on to the show.
So they shouldn't be able to get out of this.
Right.
Because they all signed on.
Like, she signed on because you know they needed a woman to call her.
They're like, we're going to know with you.
And then they go, we're going to go with us.
Sure.
And then who's third here?
Julianne Ho.
Julianne Ho?
Who is this?
Just like an American dancer.
You're like nothing.
Oh, she's a nothing.
Yeah.
She's nothing.
She's literally nothing.
So they have, she's just there to be white and blonde hair and sit there and not scare
everybody.
Oh, dancing with the stars.
Yeah.
The way networks think about Julianne Ho is they go, we need a white chick in there
so that people don't automatically feel like they're being brought before tribunal
of people of color.
So we need Julianne Ho who looks like, you know, some girl who walked out of a barn.
They all signed on to this.
Okay.
And they filmed it.
Please leak this footage.
I want to see this.
Listen to this.
Usher, Priyanka Chopra and Julianne Ho set up for the activist CBS competition series
from Global Citizen.
And let's read a little bit about the deadline release here.
And you didn't have to wait long.
I'm so excited to announce I'll be co-hosting the activist.
We're going to meet six incredibly inspirational people paying it forward in this world.
Stay tuned.
CBS and producing partners Global Citizen announced the format switch.
The activist was designed to show a wide audience, the passion, long hours and ingenuity that
activists put into changing the world, hopefully inspiring others to do the same.
Right.
That was the goal.
Right.
That was the goal.
However, it has become apparent the format of the show has announced distracts from the vital
work these incredible activists do in their communities every day.
Like making them do three-legged races or whatever they were going to do, right?
Making them cook.
The push for global change is not a competition anymore.
I want the show as it originally was supposed to happen.
Give it to me as it originally was supposed to happen.
I want a contest outside of a Planned Parenthood.
That's what I want to see.
I want to see Julianne Ho judging the photos of whatever women in guillotines or handmade
tail.
Like I could see like somebody doing a handmade tail thing outside of a Planned Parenthood
and Julianne Ho and Usher and Priyanka.
They were all sitting there and they were like, that was brilliant.
It was socially conscious.
It was now.
The handmade sales such a big show.
And we just love the way that you took pop culture elements and infused your activism
with it.
You remain.
And then there's just claps, you know?
And then somebody else.
They're like, you came out here with just the law and you had these tablets that look
like ten commandments, but they were like the rights of women.
We just felt that it didn't connect.
We felt that the tablet seemed a little weird, a little religious, which is actually kind
of what we're fighting.
And I know that you were trying to repurpose religion for, you know, obviously a pro woman
moment, but we just felt like it didn't really, it didn't, it didn't work.
And we are so sorry, but you are going home.
Please give me that show.
I want that show.
I don't want a show where I'm just going to be introduced to these people.
No.
And they're so tone deaf.
You think that they were fighting, before this change, they were fighting to like go
to Kabul, like go to Afghanistan and like help people for the season finale.
Yeah.
No, the executives at CBS were like, we need something big for the season finale.
They would have brought out Michael Brown's mother.
No, I'm not, I'm not kidding.
These people are so soulless.
They are soulless.
They would have offered her a lot of money and they would have brought her out to crown
who's the top actor.
These people don't have souls.
I'm talking to everyone I've met.
Okay.
Everyone I've met in Hollywood that's in these positions, they desperately want to convince
themselves they're not evil and they don't, they just don't know how.
That's why they step in shit like this.
Like they don't understand why this would be offensive.
They don't understand the difference between activism and performative activism.
They don't get why activism can't be a competition.
They don't understand why having the most social media followers at the end of the day
doesn't make you the best activist.
They don't get it.
They have no commitment to changing anything except their own personal circumstances
which include a newer Tesla and a nicer house.
That is it.
They will tweet about capitalism and about feminism and about intersectional
and they will tweet, tweet and then they'll put the phone down on a marble table
and then they will drive their kids to private school.
That is what's happening, truly.
You know AOC and the eat the rich trash.
I didn't really talk about it or you know tax the rich at the Met.
I don't care anymore.
I can't get invested.
I'm not going to be one of these people who like police is the price of AOC's shoes all day.
Like these guys who are like she's wearing Balenciaga boots.
Like guys there's more on, there's more to life.
But it is just funny we've kind of reached peak satire where AOC goes,
no no no it's my job to be here.
This is part of the suffering that I must do.
It is not easy.
Like people on Twitter were like it is hard for her to just face the people she's going to tax.
This is difficult.
I'm like it's not difficult.
She was invited so it's clearly not that difficult.
Number two, she's not throwing a scare into anybody over there.
They're all fine, okay.
But she acts you know like again like this is a little awkward.
It's a little strange to see all these rich people with the tax of rich trash
but they all love it because they know it's also pretend.
It's fake.
We're finding out a lot of these people refuse to take the vaccine too.
A lot of these actors.
A lot of the Hollywood people.
Yeah well again they have access to like the best medical treatment right?
Like now I have a lot of money.
So I have access to better medical treatment.
Now because I'm fat I would still take the vaccine
because COVID is a holocaust of fat people.
And I just paid 10 grand to get into some doctor concierge service
where I sat there and the guy goes don't have dessert.
I said thank you.
Literally I paid like $10,000.
The guy comes in at Beverly Hills.
He looks at me and goes your metabolism is flawed.
I said thank you.
But what's good is he'll do all the tests.
He'll do the blood and the sperm and the sputum.
I don't know what he tests.
You know your iodine level whatever it is.
He's in there and he'll just do the scans and the aortic and the pulmonary whatever it is.
He'll get it done.
But the thing is the celebrities don't want this shit
because they have the best their access to the best thing.
And a lot of them are very in very good shape.
Yes.
So they don't want it.
And then some of them are little you know like like some of them them a lot of celebs got
the celebs that weren't mentioned in QAnon also got like we're into QAnon.
They're not like I've talked to like A-list celebrities that believe the world is flat.
And these are like A-list people.
So my point is not like hey they should all get the vaccine.
My point is like anything that they believe they don't usually publicly say it because
sometimes it's too controversial.
And then sometimes it's like they've literally not done any.
They just someone told them one day when they were on shrooms that the world may be flat
and they go hey man that makes a lot of sense because a lot of the people out here don't
know why they're here.
They're just hot and they're kind of stupid and they're in this town and they have
bazillions of dollars like they blow me out of the water.
They just have so much money and life is odd.
It's great but it's odd.
They're like this is strange and a lot of them get there kind of young.
And like I'm 36 and I just started to do well over the last few years.
A lot of these people they hit when they're young.
So they don't really have that.
Like a lot of them talk about that like a summer job for like four months.
McShayla Buff made a movie about like what sleeping in a like a motel.
How long did he do that for?
Wasn't he on TV at like 11?
And I know his dad was stealing his money and I feel bad about that.
But didn't that end kind of quickly?
It wasn't a decade.
It wasn't like forever.
I'm not minimizing what Shaila Buff would do.
I'm a fan of his and he hugged me once in the comedy store and said I was brilliant.
He won't remember.
But he's a great kid.
I don't care what he did to those dogs.
You gotta, hey, you gotta get in character.
The point is that I'm saying that a lot of these people.
Kathy Griffin used to have a joke about jewels.
She's like would you sleep in a car for a weekend?
Like the thing is a lot of them just make the most out of these stories that just aren't that.
Some of them like Tina Turner.
That's a different story.
She was getting her ass handed to her.
Okay.
But a lot of these people like it's just not, it wasn't that horrible.
They kind of got put on pretty quick and they started making a lot of money.
So when things like that happen and you don't know, you gotta really start to figure out like why the world is what it is.
Like you have to start thinking that, you start thinking a lot about why things are the way they are.
Because it's not like you struggled and worked hard and got really good at something and then it happened.
It's just like you want a lot out.
So you start thinking about things and you start trying to put things together in your own mind.
You have a lot of adult responsibilities, but you may not have an adult brain.
And some of the things that these people get into are not like based in reality.
And I respect Nicki Minaj.
Here's the thing with Nicki Minaj.
He went out and said, hey, my friend, my cousin's friend got...
He was impotent and his balls got really big and trinity.
Yeah. Listen.
And that's a cartoonish example, right?
So it lends itself to people making fun of her, right?
It lends itself to being made fun of.
Totally understand that.
But again, it's not a good idea when somebody goes, I want to do more research or I have a question to go,
shut up, you stupid bitch, which is essentially what they did.
And then she went at that Twitch guy.
She said, he said, Tucker's a white nationalist and she went right.
I can't speak to, agree with, even look at someone from a particular political party.
People aren't human anymore.
If you're black and a Democrat tells you to shove marbles up your ass, you simply have to.
If another party tells you to look out for that bus, stand there and get hit.
She's right about that.
These, these discussions are policed.
And the policing doesn't work.
It turns people off, turns people off.
When she goes, I want to do more research.
I don't understand it.
Everybody goes, what are you going to go to a fucking clinic and do research?
You're a stupid bitch.
You illiterate bitch.
I mean, again, these are the progressive people, right?
You illiterate bitch.
Like these are the people that are supposedly, and then so, you know, I hope every, here's the thing.
She's too rich.
She's got like a hundred mil.
When you have that kind of money, you start to stray on a lot of different issues, right?
You start to stray.
Go to Nicki Minaj net worth.
80, it's got to be more.
It's probably a little more, but even 80 mil, you start to say to yourself, hey, I got a few things to say.
At 80 million dollars, you go, I got a fucking, I got a take.
And people like jumped on her for it.
I just, I'm looking forward to the, I want every, I want all rappers to be Republicans.
I do.
I want like Mitch McConnell and a little Uzi Vert to do like things together.
I want Nicki Minaj to have a song with Laura Loomer.
I'm getting the racks, racks, racks.
I don't want to get the racks, racks, racks.
I want just pure chaos.
Whereas like Kanye, but you saw with Kanye, like Kanye's a billionaire.
You get to a certain level of money and you go, yeah, I just, I don't want to feel like there's anything that's off limits to discuss, to just throw out there.
But then of course everybody's like, but you have a platform and you have influence.
And if you say something, well then, and instead of analyzing why that is that these people have all this influence,
instead of saying, why do we live in a country where no one listens to their parents, religious leaders, or the government?
And they're listening to Nicki Minaj.
Instead of analyzing that, we just go, no, you have to say everything we want you to say because you have this massive platform and people listening to you.
And instead of going, well, listen.
The family structure has like disintegrated to the point where children are like being raised by popular culture, which is a horrible idea.
And getting information from celebrities is not good.
That being said, it seems somewhat inevitable to a certain degree.
So as a parent, I guess you should get between Nicki Minaj's tweet and your child.
Perhaps if you feel like they should get the vaccine, like what I'm trying to understand here is the terror.
People are terrified that like we're losing Nicki Minaj.
Like if Nicki Minaj has this point of view, God help us.
What is next?
Who will be next?
She's a domino to fall.
And when it is, she falls, then what happens?
Who will be next?
Little baby?
Who's coming next?
Who will next say global warming isn't real?
Who's going to do it?
Will DJ Khaled talk about a border wall?
Who's next?
I think that's part of what this is.
They go, we can't lose.
And you are losing.
By the way, the VMAs had less than a million views.
Like less than a million viewers.
People are done.
Oh, the MTV.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I saw that.
No one cares.
Man.
You know what's interesting about all these people?
And you know, you saw it at the Met Gala.
And somebody made, it's weird.
It's like all of these people are, some of them are really attractive and really hot.
But also we have this very interesting thing now where a fair amount of them are sexless.
It's actually impossible to have a sexual fantasy about some of these people because they don't look human.
And they display no human emotions.
They display no humanity where you do to fantasize about them.
You have to create everything because they themselves, for whatever reason, they look ghoulish.
And you just can't think of them sexually.
They look like an art piece.
And this is not specific to the Met Gala, although it's kind of on full display.
There.
That was Grimes.
Yeah, Grimes looks fine.
But then people want to fuck her because she looks like the person in the video game.
And you know.
Right.
She looks like, yeah.
But what I mean is like, you know, Anna and Dasha over at Red Scare.
Were they the ones who said this?
I don't know if I should quote them if they didn't say it.
Someone said the rock.
Fuck.
Maybe it was a comedian.
I forget who said this.
But they were talking about the rock.
And they were like, the rock is just, it's weirdly like, he's so great looking, but you don't want to fuck the rock.
There's something weird about it.
I don't know who said it.
But whatever it was, it was, it was, I don't think it was, I don't think it was Red Scare.
But my point is that a lot of the people that you see now, for whatever reason, maybe it's because they're so, you know, they're so enhanced surgically.
Or it's that the fashion is wild.
Or it's that their personnel, they're all heavily medicated.
Their personalities seem like, you know, like they had a microchip surgically implanted.
And I'm like, like Timothy Chalamet is a perfect example.
He should be like, good looking.
Have you ever seen anyone that you felt was less biologically like he's an attractive dude?
But do you look at Timothy Chalamet and go, let's fuck?
Not really.
And it's not that I'm insulting his looks.
He's great looking technically, right?
He's got a sharp jaw line.
He's got the hair, but he doesn't look like a human being.
He looks like an idea.
Did you know what I mean?
Can you imagine fucking or being fucked by Timothy Chalamet?
Like, can you imagine any human thing happening with Timothy Chalamet?
Can you imagine a lunch with Timothy Chalamet?
Can you imagine sitting at a table with him while he like, he would like play with an endive leaf like,
and like, you know, put his hand through his hair and just kind of like, kind of he'd be like kind of like brooding and like,
he'd be like, I feel like he just keep getting closer to the table.
He'd be like, and I feel like he just makes a sound like he wouldn't even talk.
He'd just be like, like that's the sound you would make.
He'd be sitting there and you'd be like, the chicken is good and he'd go,
he'd be wearing like all white and he'd just be like, he'd just give him a lemon.
He'd be like, I just want a lemon and he'd be like,
is he a human being?
It's my question.
I'm not being insulting.
He's attractive and successful.
I can't hurt him.
I'm not trying to.
Is that a person?
Is that a person that when you're having sex with that person or when you're speaking to that person,
is that person alive?
That's my question with a lot of these celebrities.
Are they alive?
Like if I met you, would you be alive in a way that I would understand or not?
I'm not saying he has to be.
So now the activists, they're retooling it though.
And now it's a documentary.
And when does it premiere?
Because I want to watch it.
I bet it's just as bad as a documentary.
And then we're going to talk about Meghan and Harry because I am such a fan of Meghan and Harry
and I love more celebrities because everyone in this country hates elites,
but we hate it, but we like royalty apparently.
Look out for the activists on October 22nd.
Well, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle,
my favorite couple.
I think they're my favorite couple.
And the reason that I like Prince Harry and Meghan Markle so much is that
they prove to me that we have a deep need and a desire for a certain type of celebrity.
I don't know where this comes from.
It's certainly something that is deeply ingrained in our psyche.
We want the, we like and love these types of people.
We like high profile, glossy people that are vapid
and don't have much going on in their heads, but think they do.
Like they are under the impression they have big thoughts, big, big thoughts.
Like Meghan and Harry, I've listened to both of them talk.
Garden variety retards, both of them.
She's hot.
He's royal.
But garden variety morons, either one of them, just their level of eloquence.
Like I'm an eloquent person.
You may hate me, many do, but I'm eloquent.
I have a certain amount of intelligence that I convey with the broadcast,
twice a week, once here, once on Patreon.
I watched Meghan and I watched Harry.
They were using their emotion to cover up the fact that they were not smart.
They were not too smart and they were obviously was an emotionally charged interview
because they had just left the country.
They had found out that the royal family is racist, which was shocking.
Up until now, they had only thought that the royal family had murdered Harry's mother.
But upon finding out that in addition to murdering Harry's mother,
they were also quite insensitive on the topic of race.
No good.
Up until that point, you said, well, they're just an Illuminati death cult
that drink blood and live for a thousand years and have murdered my fiance's mother.
But we're going to give them a shot and let's see how evolved they are.
Turns out they're not too evolved.
And I watched the Oprah interview and we talked about it on the show.
They're just not bright.
So like many people, but they believe they are bright.
They say the right things.
They're like, there are so many people in the world without.
Yes, there are so many people in the world without,
which is why we have to come to Los Angeles and live in a beautiful mansion
with round the clock security.
We got to get a deal at Netflix and make documentaries about people that are fucked.
That's what it is.
They want to be on Netflix and make documentaries about people with cleft palates.
That's kind of the direction they're heading.
Just like the Obamas who got a Netflix deal who should not have no one,
no politician should get an overall with Netflix.
This should be a line in the sand.
Nobody.
Oh, why not?
They're probably doing the activist.
Do you, if you doubt for a minute that if, by the way, with no backlash,
if there was no backlash, Meghan Markle is on episode three of The Activist
talking about racial sensitivity training and the need to do it, you know,
or the need to get rid of horses in Central Park
or whatever pet caused that episode three happened to be about,
Meghan Markle would be on talking about it.
She's a Hollywood actress.
I mean, she's ambition.
She has ambition.
Actors are stupid people.
They're not smart.
Very few of them are intelligent.
And the ones that are intelligent are much, much older.
Young actors are, and we know many of them, they're insanely dumb to where it's noticeable.
Have you ever been with someone who's so dumb it's noticeable,
where you look at someone else as if to be in disbelief at what this person is doing?
If you had lunch with Meghan Markle, you'd be stunned at how dumb she was.
Not because she's black, because I wouldn't think she was black if I looked at her,
because she's an actress who is on the show suits.
Okay?
She's an actress.
Harry is an idiot.
He's an idiot for two reasons.
Number one, he signed up to fight in the Afghanistan war.
That was a dumb move.
You're a fucking prince.
What are you doing that shit for?
Number two, I know it's heroic, I guess, after 9-11,
but I think he signed up years after that.
That's hilarious.
And number two, he's still believing this dumb story that the paparazzi killed his mom.
Maybe he doesn't.
Maybe he just...
So she gets him to leave his family.
She goes, she goes, why do we want to stay here?
And I get it.
I'm for them.
Why do we want to stay here?
They're racist, the weather sucks, the food shit.
Let's go to LA, we'll eat sushi by the pool every day,
and we'll make documentaries about people with cleft palates.
He goes, well, is it when their face is all, yes.
She goes, and then every now and then we'll fly one of them over,
we'll clean up their face, and we'll take him to Disneyland.
But we got to get out of the UK, and we got to come to the US,
and we're going to go on Oprah, and then every idiot in America,
but he's like, but they're mad at rich people.
Not our kind of rich people.
She goes, I'm kind of black, and you're an idiot.
So you just...
And you're willing to be emasculated.
So you just sit there and eat your own cock on TV.
I'll tell Oprah that they were chasing me around the Royal Palace with nooses,
and the Netflix will open up a suitcase full of money,
and we'll go do documentaries about kids with cleft palates.
Is it locked with a lip? Is it in their nose?
Yes, yes, just Google it, Harry.
So that's what went on.
And I liked them. I used to not like them.
I have now, I have a new thing now for the holidays.
I believe everyone, and I love everyone.
This is positive me.
I've been too cynical for too long, but I survived COVID.
You know, and other than having seven or eight skin rashes at any given time,
I'm relatively healthy.
I'm an enormous died. We're losing people.
You never know how long you get.
So I've decided to love everyone and embrace.
I've embraced these two clowns.
I like them.
Yes, they're grifters.
Yes, they're deeply unserious, and they're not that bright,
but I respect how far they've gotten.
So I am saying yes to them, whereas in the past,
I would have said no.
I would have said no.
They're exploiting.
They're this and that.
Oh, shut up. Who cares?
They're here, and it's fun.
Watching people fawn over them.
We like royalty.
We love it.
We like rich people.
Stop pretending you don't like rich people.
Stop pretending.
The people that tweet about Marxism all day,
then talk about how much they love their real housewives.
You just can't quit it, and nobody is a real housewife
than Meghan Markle, who married his ginger retard
and took him out of his racist family
so that they could live in Beverly Hills
or wherever the fuck they live
and make documentaries about people without hands.
On Netflix.
Netflix, by the way, who's committed
to just giving these people anything they want
whenever they want.
They're making a cartoon.
What is the cartoon about?
It's called Pearl.
Yes.
It's about a young girl who is inspired
by influential women in history
and counts David Furnish and Liz Garbus
amongst its executive producers.
Yeah, I guess that's it.
Pearl.
It's a 12-year-old girl who's inspired
by influential women in history,
the series currently in development.
That's all the information we have.
That's it?
She's on a journey of self-discovery.
She tries to overcome life's daily challenges,
says Markle.
Well, that sounds great.
Good for her, man.
Do you know how many actresses
that do a show like suits
just get thrown out in the street?
That's true.
Afterwards.
Yeah.
Meghan Markle parlayed that
into a fucking royal wedding
and then a year in or a couple of years in
said, fuck that shit and left.
And I'm not saying the royal family
was not racist to her.
I'm sure they were,
but that also didn't start
when she got there.
They didn't, like, become racist.
She knew, like, it started probably early on
when they confused her for the help nine times.
They're probably ordering tea from her.
An exciting tale that weaves together
fantasy and history.
Pearl focuses on a young girl
who learns to step into her own power
when she embarks on a heroic adventure
and meets important women from history along the way.
We're excited to develop this anime
to share with our partners
at Archerwell Productions and Story Syndicate.
Their Archerwell Productions.
That's the area.
Archerwell Productions.
So you know what this is going to be,
like, Pearl's going to go back.
You know, there's going to be a scene
where Pearl's like,
who are you?
My name is Harriet.
Harriet who?
Harriet Tubman.
We got a railroad, and you go,
oh my god, this is the underground railroad?
Yes, it is.
This is so amazing.
I can't believe it.
You're so brave and strong.
Yes, I am, child.
But I'm not nearly as brave and strong
as Meghan Markle.
Who's that?
She was an actress on Suits.
It's a TV show.
Yeah?
She married Prince Harry.
You know, the son of that woman,
they killed in the thing,
in the tunnel, and they said the press did it,
but you know it's going to,
because she was going to marry Dodie Afayen.
He was Muslim.
It's a whole thing.
It's oil.
Saudi Arabia, whatever.
You got to follow Cynthia McKinney on Twitter.
What?
Anyway, I'm just saying,
yes, I'm, where's Cynthia McKinney at the Met Gala, by the way?
That, all she did was talk about 9-Eleven all day.
Where's she?
Where is she?
Where's she?
Well, here's what I'm saying, child.
I'm saying it, I may be brave,
but the bravest person ever is Meghan Markle.
Thank you.
I'm excited for that show.
I'll never get another special on anything ever again.
Like, I will, my special will be on likepetboys.com.
I mean, it will be like, it will be so far.
Every day I hear about like another executive
who genuinely hates me,
who like brings me up by name
in meetings that they do not like me.
I mean, we're selling so many tickets,
this show's gotten so massive,
and the offers have been slim.
Slim to none.
But that's okay.
And then people ask you, they go,
do you think I'll do a special?
I go, I don't know.
Maybe I'll do, reach out.
Let's reach out to Harry and Meghan's,
or let's call my agent right now,
on the air,
and ask him if he can reach out.
Let's see if he answered.
Hey, quick question.
I know it's late.
You're probably, I figured you were up with the kid.
Is there any, do we think that there's any way
that Archerwell Productions might like produce my special?
That's the production company founded
by Meghan Markle and Prince Harry?
No, but I mean, can we get me a meeting?
Like, I think I should get a meeting with them.
Yeah, do that, do that.
You know, Fo, please pursue this, please.
All right, thank you, brother.
Get some sleep.
That's what I like him,
because he'll get fired, too.
He doesn't care.
You know what I mean?
I mean, with his clients,
I mean, he could do his job, you know, out of a rehab.
You could just sit in a...
Archerwell Productions,
I want the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.
Do you, does anyone not like this idea though, seriously?
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge
present Tim Dillon.
I love it.
It's great.
We could do it over there.
We go overseas and do it.
No, they're here.
Oh, right, right, we do it here.
But they can't...
We can't go there anymore,
because they're racist.
Right.
Because they're racist there.
They came to a country with no racism.
America.
Because the royal family was so racist,
they came to a place where the...
You know, we have the least racist organization in America,
right here in the city, the LAPD.
Mm-hmm.
No, none of this was a plot.
This was all well thought out.
It made sense.
Is it, Lord, with the cleft palate?
Is it when...
Is it, Lord, they bit an apple,
but it got stuck?
Please Google it for him, someone.
All right.
Are we going to see Oprah?
Can I meet Lizzo?
Stop asking me questions.
You're really fucking annoying me today.
Okay, we're doing it...
We're Skyping right now,
with the leader of fucking some country
we're about to demolish for a TV show.
Archibald Productions.
These people have me whacked.
They'll have me done diana-style.
They will do me in diana-style.
Yeah, they'll whack you.
We should have spent more time on 9-11 this year,
but we just kind of let it go by.
Yeah.
What are you going to do?
Yeah.
You can't hear the thing.
How long can you discuss something?
It's a good question.
Doesn't mean it's not important
or you don't care anymore,
or that I'm a Hollywood elite,
you're a Hollywood elite.
How many...
What are you going to do?
How many times are you going to ring the bell?
You know, I don't...
You know?
Yeah, man.
I just think there's a very slim chance
we're getting to the bottom of it.
I don't think...
I don't think we're getting to the bottom of it.
You'll straight up go, I don't know.
Your kids will ask you what happened on 9-11.
You will straight up at the kitchen table go,
I don't know.
Go to school.
Ask them.
I pay taxes.
Let them ask you what you're doing.
People said I was going to have a 9-11.
Did you ever listen up a podcast episode
that last podcast on the left did about 9-11?
It was like an amazing...
The three-parter...
It was like a nine-hour epic.
Never, never listened to it.
I've never listened to that show.
But I mean...
I have friends that love...
My friend Ryan from Long Island loves
last podcast on the left.
And I know Ben and I know Henry.
And I have no Marcus.
But I've never really listened.
But I heard that it was like the best thing ever.
It was insanely well researched.
The documentary is 9-11 The New Pearl Harbor.
So good.
You're going to watch a documentary.
It's a fun four or five hour thing.
Yeah, it's amazing.
Show the kids!
It's fun.
Archwell Productions presents The Activist.
On this episode of The Activist,
we have a special guest.
Please welcome Megan Markle.
That's like Project One Runway.
Like all the activists are standing on the stage.
And they're like, oh my God.
They're like, it is a dream to meet you.
And Megan Markle's like,
today's challenge is this.
A schoolboy with a water gun was shot in the face.
And everyone's like this.
Everyone's like, oh no.
They're like by three racist detectives.
We've got 48 hours to come up with a strategy,
including a slogan,
merch,
a big social media push,
live direct action,
sit-ins,
parades,
and music.
I need you guys to be utilizing everything.
All of your celebrity contacts.
All of your big social media names.
The name of the game here is Cross Marketing.
We need to have a fucking,
we need a fund set up ASAP.
We need to start fucking filling that with money
so that we can get these events off the ground.
Okay?
Now remember,
I don't really know the kid's name,
but it's about him.
And they're like, yes!
Yes it is!
Yes!
So there was like,
he was shot in the face?
Yes!
So in the slogan,
I think we should use the visceral nature
of the horror of what happened.
So then it'll cut to them.
They'll be like,
confessionals and be like,
as soon as I heard,
shot in the face,
I knew I had the perfect slogan.
If it's in the face,
it's about race.
It was brilliant.
I knew you won right there.
When you came out with,
and then at the end
when they're doing the judging,
they're like,
when you came out with,
if it's in the face,
it's about race,
we knew immediately
that we had a winner.
And they're crying.
Thank you so much, Megan.
I love you.
They're like, listen,
it was brilliant.
The chanting was brilliant.
Your direct action was great.
When you screamed in the face
of that crossing garden,
put it up on Instagram.
You know,
the merch wasn't exactly
what we wanted.
We didn't love all of the designs.
And we thought they were
a little too visceral.
You know?
And they were like,
yeah, I shouldn't have went
with the, with the gun
and with the face and the gun.
Something more,
like, and they're like,
we find, it's like Nina Garcia
is in different project runways.
She's like,
we find when the event
is incredibly heinous,
we do more symbolism.
Everyone's like,
yes.
They'll nod at each other.
Like they're getting the wisdom.
They're like,
yes, more symbolism.
That makes a lot of sense.
Thank you so much.
Megan's like,
thank you so much.
I'm also brave
to be here on the CBS lot
filming this show.
But that's what it is.
And God, I mean,
God, can you believe the finale?
Like what they would have done
for the finale.
Like the levels of depravity
that they would have
sunk to for the finale.
The levels of depravity
that they would have
sunk to for the finale.
Things they would have pitched,
maybe not done
or got the green light to do.
But the ideas
that they would have thrown out there
would have been so horrible
and so grotesque
because you're like,
we got to pull out all the stops.
We got to pull out all the stops.
You know?
They're like,
we want everything.
You know?
There are only two activists left.
Today is the final decision
to see who will be
the best activists in America.
Take your blindfolds off.
Look around.
You're standing in Minneapolis, Minnesota,
not a few blocks away
from the birthplace of this movement
where George Floyd was killed.
There's a chest in front of you.
In that chest,
there are two boxes.
Pick one.
The box will open
and you will have different things
you can use for your final project.
Some will be phone members
of George Floyd's family.
Some will be addresses.
Some will be pictures.
Some will be pictures of racist gangs
that have infiltrated the Minneapolis police.
Please join me right now
and they would bring out,
they'd bring out like a ton of people.
They'd be like,
please welcome
our celebrity judges,
Michelle Obama.
Greta Thunberg.
And Michael Brown's mother.
You have three hours to complete your challenge
which is making a collage
to show how far we still need to go
with race relations.
Your time starts now.
Man.
And they would have done it.
They would have done it all.
But the people unfortunately got in the way of that
because let me tell you right now,
there's nobody who understands humanity less
than the people whose job it is
to showcase it for you on television every night.
Nobody understands the human condition less
than the people whose job it is to bring it to you.
We're on tour at timdilloncomedy.com.
We're adding second shows in Atlanta.
We're adding a second show in San Sacramento.
We're adding a second show in Atlantic City.
We're adding second shows all over the place.
Things are selling out.
Thank you guys.
We appreciate it.
The Vax mandate shit is wild.
Some of them you could bring,
hopefully you could just bring a negative test
if you don't want to be vaccinated.
Every comic in the world is having to deal with this right now.
It's fucking annoying.
Hopefully this is over sooner rather than later.
And this insanity does not persist.
I've always said it doesn't make a ton of sense to me
that if you can get and spread COVID,
why you need to show that you have the vaccine?
It's weird.
It's strange.
I think it's a freak out that people are having.
I think that ends in a few months
and I think people hopefully forget about this
and abandon this.
I could be wrong about that.
After 9-11, no one abandoned anything.
But I just think three years from now when no one...
Who's still going to do this?
When nobody's at COVID?
Who's still going to be like,
show me your vaccine?
I think it's just...
No one's going to care.
We're going to move on, I believe.
There'll be another thing then
that we'll be getting fucked with.
But the show is selling really well.
We're very excited to be out there performing.
Sam Callant's going to be on the road with us.
A fucking amazing comedian.
timdilloncomedy.com for tickets.
Tim J. Dillon, D-I-L-L-O-N on Instagram and Twitter.
If you want to follow me
and go grab tickets.
L-A, Night After Thanksgiving at the region...
Or wait, no, at the...
Wiltern in L-A.
November 26th, Friday.
November 26th.
Night After Thanksgiving at the Wiltern.
Going to have a lot of fun there.
I'm excited about that show.
Excited about the Beacon Theater.
A few tickets left.
It's almost sold out.
Patreon episodes out every Tuesday.
Subscribe to the YouTube channel if you have not.
Tim Dillon's show.
We do appreciate that.
People talk about merch.
We don't have any right now.
I mean, we'll get some maybe by the holidays,
but I don't know.
We might do one thing for the holiday.
In the winter.
We might just do one hoodie.
Something super simple.
We don't know what it'll be yet.
But thank you, everybody, for buying tickets.
We're going to have a ton of fun out there.
And we're going to bring...
There's going to be some fun surprises
on some of the shows.
And I'm hoping it descends into special
produced by the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.
That's the hope.
The Duke and the Duchess of Sussex.
Oh, let's play this before we go.
Oh, yeah.
So this is...
Everybody was up in arms about
Kensington Avenue and Philly.
Yeah.
We were talking to Gillis about this.
He says it's rough.
Shane says it's rough.
It looks fine to me.
Play it.
Okay.
Tim Lee envies on this.
Dude, I've been all over this country.
That's not even that bad.
She's got something in her ear.
This is fine.
There's Alexis.
Everyone's response to this was,
I can't believe this is America.
I can't believe this is...
And I guess if you haven't traveled...
If you haven't gone anywhere,
this to me doesn't even look that bad.
It looks like a play where they're all going to get up.
You know, like Lemons and Rob,
they're going to be like,
at the end of the day,
you're another day cold, huh?
That's all they can say.
For the life of the poor.
It's a struggle.
It's a war.
And we're hoping that Meg and Markle
and Pertari make a documentary
about our lives.
Because then they'll be better.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.