The Tim Dillon Show - 300 - A Unique Experience with Yannis Pappas

Episode Date: May 29, 2022

Tim Dillon has on comedian Yannis Pappas to discuss a growing epidemic in the United States and how to stop it once and for all. Watch the new Yannis Pappas special "Mom Love" https://www.youtube.com/...watch?v=ArlCFemEDvQ Follow Yannis here https://twitter.com/yannispappas Bonus episodes every week: ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: HELIX BED ▶▶ https://www.helixsleep.com/timd for 200 dollars off Mattress orders and two free pillows WATCHES ▶▶ for 20% off go to https://www.vincerocollective.com/timdillon 🔒 VPN: Get three months free ▶▶ https://www.expressvpn.com/timdillon 📦 BOX OF AWESOME ▶▶ http://boxofawesome.com use code TIMDILLON at checkout for 20% off CRYPTO ▶▶ http://exodus.com/tim to start free. Over 4 million people trust Exodus to manage their crypto. Join the movement away from traditional finance by downloading Exodus. ONNIT ▶▶ Go to http://onnit.com/tim for 10% off EVERY MAN JACK ▶▶ https://www.everymanjack.com to get 20% off your first purchase use code DILLON 🎧 HEADPHONES: For 15% off! ▶▶ https://www.buyraycon.com/tim 👨‍🦱 HAIR LOSS: ▶▶ https://www.keeps.com/TimDillon 💆THERAPY ▶▶ https://www.betterhelp.com/TIMD BIRD DOGS! ▶▶ https://www.birddogs.com/ use code TIMDILLON ATHLETIC GREENS ▶▶ https://athleticgreens.com/timdillon MASTERWORKS ▶▶ https://masterworks.art/tim SIMPLI SAFE ▶▶ https://simplisafe.com/timdillon to save 20% MUD\WTR ▶▶ https://mudwtr.com/tim use code TIM for $5 off STARTMAIL: start securing email privacy! ▶▶ https://startmail.com/timd for 50% off your first year! ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ 🐦 Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon 🌍 Tim Dillon Live Dates!: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows 📹 Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4woSp8ITBoYDmjkukhEhxg Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds  ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▶▶ Ed McMahon benavery33@gmail.com https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ #TheTimDillonShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show. Yannis Papis, there's a special that is on YouTube that you have to watch. It's gonna come up right now. The hilarious standup comedian, the pride of Greece. Yannis Papis is called Mom Love, and it's on YouTube and you gotta watch it. It's all about transgender people.
Starting point is 00:00:29 The whole thing. It's an hour of your take on the trans community. Yeah, because it's just- Cause no one else has done it yet. Yeah, it's not, nobody's covered it, so I really wanna delve into it. It's smart. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:45 It's good. Yeah. And no, that's a joke. Yeah. It's about mom, what is it Mom Love? What is that about? Mom Love. And I think your fans are really gonna love
Starting point is 00:00:56 this special, Timothy. Sure. I think they're gonna love it. Absolutely. Mom Love is, it's the last joke in the special and it's essentially saying that underneath everything, we've gotten out of balance. There's too much empathy.
Starting point is 00:01:11 There's too much, you have Mom Love and Dad Love. Mom loves you unconditionally. Right. Dad loves you the way- Barely. Barely. Right. Based on how you do, conditionally.
Starting point is 00:01:22 Right. You do good, dad loves you a little more, the way the world will love you. And there's too much mom love. There's too much empathy. And like we've talked about before, Tim, empathy is infinite. There's no end to empathy.
Starting point is 00:01:35 So Dad Love. Dad Love is conditioned. It's conditional. Like when my dad got divorced and lived with his brother for two years and called me once every two months, that's conditional love. Conditionally.
Starting point is 00:01:46 Right. Okay. He loves you conditionally. Yeah. Yeah, he loves you a little bit more now that you're doing good. Yeah. When you were living with Justie Dodge, not so much.
Starting point is 00:01:54 Yeah. When I was living on a couch in Hal's kitchen, he was, you know, people said, how's your son? He goes, I had a son. Yeah. He goes, wait, who? I don't know if I have one.
Starting point is 00:02:03 Yeah. So that's interesting. So that's the whole special. And it's very funny. I've seen you do the hour live. You got to check it out. It's on youtube.com. YouTube network.
Starting point is 00:02:16 It's free. Yeah. And it's for your viewing pleasure. It costs a share. I'm trying to do that as an advertising buy line because I'm working on my marketing. Right. It costs a share.
Starting point is 00:02:29 Share it. Share it. Share it if you like it. Yeah. Be socialist about it. I know some of your listeners like communism do this. We got, we got, we run a real spectrum here. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:39 It's from the hard left to the hard right. Yeah. And so that's good. Those are the interesting people though. Those are the fun people. Those are the fun, but you don't want to go with the dinner with someone who's nuanced.
Starting point is 00:02:48 No, you want, you want somebody who's really gonna. Yeah. It's going to bring it. Yeah. I mean, obviously, you know, this will be, you know, everybody in America for the next few months and since they're shooting in Texas is going to talk about guns.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Yeah. This is going to be, or maybe not. Or maybe that's over, but it's- Guns, food and safety. Yeah. Guns, guns are a, they're out there. And I think personally, that even some of the kids who were killed in Texas,
Starting point is 00:03:29 if you brought them back, they would still be pro-gun. That's my position. Like if you had a, if the ghost of one of them came back, they would still be pro-gun because it's, it's, it's right. Well, it's so. Yeah. And this is in Florida. All you have to know is all you got to do is ask the guy,
Starting point is 00:03:53 like, were you scared a little bit for your life? And I was frightened that these kids were gonna hurt me. Right. And then he stood his ground. He stood his personal ground. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you've been shot.
Starting point is 00:04:06 I have been shot. I have that unique experience. You have the unique experience of being shot. You've told it a million times and no one cares. So we're not going to rehash it. No, but if you haven't been shot, I recommend that it's fun. It does kind of, it wasn't bad for you. No, luckily.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Now the guy who shot you. Yeah. Is doing a one man show about shooting you. Well, I don't know. I don't know. I haven't really checked it out. I haven't gone to the limited opening. But I don't know what.
Starting point is 00:04:36 He did a one man show. This is a fact. At some point he did a one man show. At some point. Yeah. This is how strong the desire is for fame in this country. At one point the man who shot you outside of a nightclub got on a stage and did a one man show
Starting point is 00:04:53 about the decision to shoot you. Yeah, I don't know what it was about, but I know that it was in there somehow because that was part of the reason I think he got in trouble. Finally, someone said, okay, we got to take your gun away and we got to put you away. So he didn't even get caught
Starting point is 00:05:09 before he did the one man show? No, he did the one man show I think from prison. I believe. I don't know too much about it. So he was caught first. Yeah. You know, I tend not to try to... How have you reached out to forgive him
Starting point is 00:05:19 the way the Pope has forgiven people that have tried to assassinate the Pope? Remember when the guy shot the Pope and then the Pope forgave him? Yeah. Well, that happened. Have you forgiven? Have you reached out to this person to forgive them?
Starting point is 00:05:32 Well, I... For shooting you? I don't blame him, you know? Yeah. I don't blame him. He was doing God's bidding. Yeah. But have you ever thought about him again
Starting point is 00:05:41 or tried to say? No, I know. Are you angry at him? No. No, I'm not angry at him. So my whole thing is this? Besides the fact that if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have had all those fucking panic attacks
Starting point is 00:05:51 and I probably would have made it in this business a long time ago. No, I'm not mad at him. And he was Armenian. How the fuck can you do that to your Greek brother, you piece of shit? But you seem to have... How bad is it getting shot?
Starting point is 00:06:01 This is my question. I mean, truly. And this is a real thing here. You seem okay. And it doesn't seem like it inhibits you in any other area of your life. So are we overreacting to gun violence, perhaps? I think it's just part of American culture, baby.
Starting point is 00:06:20 I think it's part of life. Yeah, it's part of life. I think it's part of life. And I think people should start saying that. I think politicians should start saying getting shot is part of life as opposed to keep running away from it. And I go, why don't you just kind of brand it
Starting point is 00:06:36 as a uniquely kind of American experience where people have the freedom to shoot you. You also have the freedom to maybe shoot them. You do. If you get a little scared. It's a violent country. It's a country where there's more of a chance that you might lose your life in places
Starting point is 00:06:53 that typically people don't lose their life, you know? It's a violent country. You could just be looking at tomatoes, trying to pick out which ones are more ripe. And the next thing you know, there's a war happening in aisle four. And you just have to be prepared. So I think the solution is every single person.
Starting point is 00:07:11 If you take that element away, this is my concern. It gets boring. That's right. Yeah. If you take the element away of potentially a massacre in a grocery store. You never know when the USSR North Korea is gonna attack your living room.
Starting point is 00:07:28 Right. So you have to be armed with as many semi-automatic weapons as possible. No, you're not an anti-gun nut. No, I'm not at all. You believe that people... It should be a little harder to get than a Tylenol. It might, yes.
Starting point is 00:07:42 That might help. But the argument is that it is a little hard to get because you have to leave your house and drive somewhere. That is the argument. It's not, you can't postmate. Go to postmates and try to get a gun. You can't. Yeah, you can't.
Starting point is 00:07:59 You can't get a postmates gun. Well, have all the issues that I checked all the counties in Florida. Good point. Yeah. As we talk about on this show, I never get more hatred than when I suggest that guns might should be harder to get.
Starting point is 00:08:12 This is the thing. And again, I'm second amendment. I believe you should be able to own a gun, protect yourself, things like that. The minute I have said that guns should be a little harder to get, I get vicious hate. And I understand it to a degree because you have people going, let's get rid of cops.
Starting point is 00:08:28 Let's get rid of any type of enforcement. And then let's just a hope that you don't get killed. Well, that's part of the fear. And it's an understandable fear because when you look at what the left does, they start out with, you can't say this or you can't do it. And then they just keep going. We should do police reform.
Starting point is 00:08:43 And then the next thing you know, they're like, let's get rid of cops as an idea. And you're like, so that's what people are scared of. They're scared of that, you know, a little common sense, gun control, metastasizes into a complete confiscation of your weapons. And some of the rhetoric is naive when you see it going, guns are bad, get rid of guns.
Starting point is 00:09:04 I mean, what's this obsession with gun? It's like these blanket statements that place a morality on the actual object. And it's like, no, it's not the gun. Guns are depends on the context, whether a gun is good or bad, right? Is it your contention? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:19 And it's not guns that kill people. It's lack of body armor that does. It's, you know what it is. Now, let me be honest about this particular shooting. A, the cops did not go into this school for a long time. Guy had a couple of, the guy was armed. Yes, but you know, isn't your job as a police officer to confront that which is happening in the moment?
Starting point is 00:09:43 Depends on whether it's a rival school from where your kid plays football. That's a great point. I never thought about that. Depends on which school. Because it is so big there in Texas. It's huge. I never thought about...
Starting point is 00:09:54 What football team they're gonna play for. I never thought about that. I didn't even think about that. Is it possible these guys are going, you know what, maybe a few quarterbacks are getting it in there. And our numbers are going up. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:10:08 My question is, because a lot of people are saying, Uvaldi, school shooter was in school for up to an hour before law enforcement broke into a room where he was barricaded and killed him. That seems like a lot of time, guys. Well, it's a lot of time, but you know, it seems too much. The cops probably had to ask a lot of permission from certain organizations.
Starting point is 00:10:28 Like, you know, do we have a couple of social workers here to talk to them first? Find out why he did what he did, what happened, what kind of institutions have failed him, what kind of systems. Well, you know, the guy who killed the 10 people in Buffalo in the grocery store, the cops, then he went to go kill himself.
Starting point is 00:10:44 The cops are like, no, don't. Let him do it. Yeah, I don't know. What are you gonna do? They're like, no, don't worry about it. You made one mistake. Yeah, we wanna find out why you did it. You got your whole life ahead of you.
Starting point is 00:10:55 Come here, give me a hug. You're a good boy. Yeah. To me, it feels like a quote here. It's gonna be within like 40 minutes or something within an hour. Texas Department of Public Safety Director Steve McGraw told CNN's Ed Lavender at news conference,
Starting point is 00:11:10 the 18-year-old shooter Salvador Lamos was in a standover law enforcement officers for about a half hour after firing on students and teachers. Rep Tony Gonzalez. I mean, here's the argument that pro-gun people make. And this is an interesting argument. Guns are not new. School shootings are new.
Starting point is 00:11:29 There is something mentally going on where we have a huge mental health crisis. This doesn't mean you should be able to get a gun at 7-Eleven. What I am saying is there is something going on in the culture. I don't know what it is. I have a few ideas. That is, it's a coarsening potentially
Starting point is 00:11:51 of the culture in this sense that we are creating perhaps more violent sociopaths now than we were then. Yeah. You got to get this kid into acting classes early. That's true. Because he posted a photo with eyeliner. Yeah. And he was kind of, you know, had some issues.
Starting point is 00:12:13 He got bullied a lot. You just got to take that sociopathy and you got to put it in a place where he can use it and it benefits him. That's a great point. Acting, entertainment, politics. Yes. You know, yes.
Starting point is 00:12:27 Should we be identifying sociopaths at a younger age and putting them on a path to be our leaders as opposed to killing children in a school, they can kill children in other countries on our behalf? Absolutely. It's not a bad idea. We need some youth outreach programs that identify these sociopathic traits early
Starting point is 00:12:49 and then put them on the right track, get them into a couple of improv classes. Or how about this is like, hey, you don't feel good. There's a place for you. There's a place for you. There's a place for you without empathy. There's 100% a thing you can do. I don't know much about this guy.
Starting point is 00:13:02 And his name is Salvador Ramos. He was 18 years old. Supposedly he was bullied. He wrote three disturbing messages on Facebook just minutes before the massacre. A massacre, warning of the carnage to come. Quote, I'm going to shoot my grandmother. Salvador Ramos wrote about 30 minutes before his rampage
Starting point is 00:13:20 on Facebook. How many people liked that? That sounds like something I would have written. Nobody knows he's serious. And no one knows you're serious. If I saw him going to shoot my grandmother, I liked that. It's hilarious. Not now it's not.
Starting point is 00:13:35 They just do the bots and whatever. Writing minutes later, listen to this, Ramos made good on his vow writing minutes later that he'd quote shot his grandmother. His last message foretold of his final act of unspeakable violence. I'm going to shoot in elementary school. He wrote about 50 minutes before he arrived on campus.
Starting point is 00:13:50 I hate dealing with this issue in a funny way. It is a comedy show because it is an unspeakable tragedy. People's kids were killed. It is the most evil act I can imagine. I think it is the most evil act out there. It's premeditated. It's evil. Here's the thing, we live in a country.
Starting point is 00:14:17 Have you seen Nikki Glaser's Instagram Lives where she's going to do a song about this? She does a guitar? That is also premeditated. But I think this is worse. It's evil. And it is too easy to get a gun. And this type of stuff is crazy.
Starting point is 00:14:36 So I'm not trying to minimize it, but it is weird to be a comic and do a show where we're having fun. Absolutely. We have to do our job. I mean, it's the most horrendous thing ever. You can't get more evil than this. Also, what happened in Buffalo?
Starting point is 00:14:52 Just because those weren't kids. No, it's evil. It's like this one brings out the slit, but it's like they randomly targeted black people's horrible as well. Absolutely insane. The thing is, we live in a country where we're so fame obsessed. And I think when these sociopaths feel like that fame
Starting point is 00:15:08 is out of their reach, they go for infamy. When something's this premeditated, there's no assassins or premeditated murderers who don't want the attention. The attention in this country is currency. So this guy's going like, it seems like a lot of work for me to become an actor, whatever it is. In sports, to find myself in the business world,
Starting point is 00:15:30 come up with an app. So I'll settle for infamy. So I'll settle for being remembered. That's the only thing people respect in this country is how someone's famous. It doesn't matter how they. Yeah, I made the news. Yeah, they're looking at all these other stuff.
Starting point is 00:15:44 They're looking at our culture and going like, hey, man, people love serial killer documentaries. They love all these people who do horrible things. And then they celebrate them. The news constantly plays into that reptilian part of our brain and scares us and does, oh, this story happened. And they replay the horror over and over and over again, like the Will Smith slap.
Starting point is 00:16:08 It's just they play it over. And so it's like, hey, man, I want to be known for some. It's a real nihilistic tour de force in infamy. Onlookers urge police to charge into Texas school. This is interesting, because you have cops standing outside. People are heckling them going, get in there. And they're not doing it. That's like a sports fan at a game.
Starting point is 00:16:34 Why did you do it? It's like, dude, you're sitting there drinking a beer. Yeah, but I don't know why they're not going in there for an hour. That's crazy, honest. That is crazy. That's crazy. It is crazy.
Starting point is 00:16:43 That's crazy. Quote, go in there. Go in there. Nearby women shouted at the officer as soon after the attack began. Said Juan, here's the deal. If the cops are going to run around and go, we have the most dangerous job in the world,
Starting point is 00:16:54 which is statistically not true, not even in the top 10. It is a dangerous job, but it's not the most dangerous job in the world per capita statistically. It's very dangerous in certain areas, for sure. If that is going to be the party line, you've got to go into the school while this guy is shooting. You can't stand outside for an hour. That seems to be crazy.
Starting point is 00:17:16 And I know there'll be 19 cops that'll message me. He'll go, no, you don't understand anything. It's actually you have to wait. You have to understand it's protocol. There's things that need to be done. But it's not protocol if it's a black kid walking down the street, but it's protocol if it's in a. So my whole thing is the women are shouting at the cops.
Starting point is 00:17:35 Go in there. Go in there. They're shouting. Upset the police officers were not moving in. A few of the other bystanders were like, let's charge into the school. He goes, let's just rush in because the cops aren't doing anything like they're supposed to.
Starting point is 00:17:51 More could have been done. They were unprepared. Minutes earlier, Caranza, this is a guy, had watched the Salvador Ramos crash his truck into a ditch outside the school, grabbed his AR-15 semi-automatic rifle and shot two people outside a nearby funeral home who ran away uninjured, shot at two people.
Starting point is 00:18:08 Officials say he encountered a school district security officer outside the school, though there were conflicting reports from authorities on whether the men exchanged gunfire. After running inside, he fired on two arriving Uvaldi police officers who were outside the building, said Texas Department of Public Safety, Spokesperson Travis Constantine,
Starting point is 00:18:25 the police officers were injured. After entering the school, Ramos charged into one classroom and began to kill. He barricaded himself by locking the door and just started shooting children and teachers that were inside the classroom. Absolutely insane. We gotta take this conversation
Starting point is 00:18:44 from the media and activists. Yeah. And it really has to, people need to sit down and find some solutions that aren't you, without shouting these utopian slogans at each other. Going like, guns are evil, we should have no guns or the other side going, don't take them.
Starting point is 00:19:00 We gotta stop that. Right. And this is, there's no perfect solution. There's mitigation. Can we please get some- Mitigation! Can we fucking mitigate? Can we make it a little less? Mitigation, baby!
Starting point is 00:19:14 Yeah. Mitigation, baby! What a beautiful word, mitigation, because you do need to find the happy medium. You gotta mitigate. You have to find the common ground. You have to find the place where everybody is okay. Yes.
Starting point is 00:19:30 And happy. The most, you know, the best for the most. You gotta find the thing that works for everybody. You gotta find something that's a little less convenient for the Mexican cartels. Right. Who get supplied with all their weapons from us. They do buy our guns.
Starting point is 00:19:46 That's where they get all their weapons. But that's an honor. It's quid pro quo. There's something nice about, Salvador Ramos was angry that he did not graduate Texas neighbors and how dumb do you have to be to not graduate a Texas high school? I mean, can you, you can't graduate a Texas high school?
Starting point is 00:20:03 Yeah. Classmates of the 18-year-olds who murdered at least 19 children and two teachers are due to attend their graduation ceremony on Friday, May 27. Ramos's fury over his lack of academic success sparked a fight with his grandmother shortly before he shot her. I kind of get that.
Starting point is 00:20:18 And drove to Rob elementary school to embark on the killing spree. So this guy's, he's a troubled guy. He's unhappy. I would say so. He's not smart. Psychopathic or sociopathic. He's psychopathic.
Starting point is 00:20:28 He's not smart. The grandma goes, you're an idiot. He gets upset. Now he goes and buys the AR-15, Ben. On his 18th birthday, he bought two of those. And he goes, two. Just in case North Korea invades our home. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:43 He gets two AR-15s on the 18th birthday. He probably said to the cash register, he's probably said, I'm going to need another one so I can reload when I'm shooting up to school. And they probably went like, that's your freedom. That's your business. That's your business. I'm not, that's freedom of expression.
Starting point is 00:20:59 I don't need to know all of that on it. You are free to be free in our country. I don't need to know all of that. It's not my business. When you walk out here with these two AR-15s, you do whatever you damn well please. I mean, it doesn't, I, whether you're, Is it one of those schools where they got
Starting point is 00:21:14 the transgender people reading in the library? Well, then you better, you need these to defend yourself against trans people. You might need three guns. Maybe three. I'm not going to ask. Maybe you're using them for a science project. I don't need to know.
Starting point is 00:21:27 It doesn't matter. At least one additional kid died directly because the cops were incompetent. Somebody said, when the cops come, the cops said, the cops said, yell if you need help. And one of the persons in my class said help. The shooter overheard and he came in and shot her. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:21:40 Yell if you need help. Somebody yelled help and then the guy goes in and shoots her. I mean, I got to be honest with you and I'm not trying to neg the cops here, but this is not the most, this isn't a crack squad of geniuses out there. Can we just say that? Like in a school where it's being shut up,
Starting point is 00:21:57 they go, just start yelling. Yell help. That'll be good. I just don't think it's a job right now. That anyone wants to do. That anyone wants and cops are scared to do. Yeah, for sure. It's like they always are, they're under the microscope.
Starting point is 00:22:12 But in Texas, that's less true. It's less true in Texas. It's less true in Texas. There's not a rage against the cops in Texas. Right, especially in this scenario. Right. Where we need them to spring into action. We need them to go into a school that's being shut up.
Starting point is 00:22:26 This isn't a highly controversial thing. Right. So that is tragic and unfortunate. But there is a happy, there is somewhere to get to where maybe guns are harder to get. Where an 18 year old can't purchase two AR-15s without a waiting period, or a background check or something like that.
Starting point is 00:22:43 Well, and you'd need to make it, the problem is, and the state's rights, the smaller government people, they hate the federal government, but it has to be uniform. If we're gonna have a country, you can't go into, you can't have it so you go into Indiana and you can buy a resold gun
Starting point is 00:22:59 at a gun show and all these loopholes and then go sell them in Chicago. You can't go from another state and get an easy one and then travel to it. You gotta make it all the same. Right. You gotta make it all the same because we don't have closed borders yet
Starting point is 00:23:13 between our contiguous states. Yeah. So it's like, it's gotta be the same everywhere which small government people, states rights people hate. So it'll always be a problem. It'll never be solved. It's just gonna be part of our great American tradition. Football, cheese fries, buffalo wings
Starting point is 00:23:31 and murder of children. Yeah. So the NRA is gonna gather in Houston days after the Texas school massacre and there's gonna be some protests. People are gonna be upset about this and the NRA. Yeah. 55,000 people are showing up. Yeah. It's a big convention in Houston
Starting point is 00:23:48 for the NRA. What are they gonna, what are the themes this year? They'll probably all be caring. It's gonna be, I tell you right now, it's a tough one. It's a tough one as a convention goes. It's a tough one. You know they're gonna get out,
Starting point is 00:24:02 they're gonna address it, they're gonna go, people wanna limit. They're gonna be like, he's a good guy with a gun. Oh well, that didn't work in Buffalo. Yeah. Cause the guy had body armor. We need more body armor. Right.
Starting point is 00:24:13 People, we need- Is it wrong to say kids should go to school in body armor? Is it wrong to think that fashion designers need to up their game That's right. and start incorporating defense into their style? Tommy Hilfiger, body armor. That's right.
Starting point is 00:24:27 Hey, Tori Birch. Yeah. Wake up. Wake up. We need military gear for most people. Body armor, bullet proof clothing. Body armor. If you put kids in little bullet proof vests.
Starting point is 00:24:40 What's the, then everything's thick. Is it not cute? It's very cute. If you put kids in Kevlar, is there a problem with that? I'm, you know, I'm seriously asking, if we're not gonna ban the guy, like how nuts will it get?
Starting point is 00:24:52 That's a solution. That's a solution. A lot of times of fashion is very environment specific. You go to Miami, it's like light colors. You live in America, it should be body armor and bullet proof. This is interesting. So this is a, read this tweet Ben for us.
Starting point is 00:25:07 So this was the gunman bought the weapons using the attack shortly after his 18th birthday and the gun store he posted receipts from tweeted this that day. This was their ad. Train up a child in the way he should go. And when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Starting point is 00:25:19 And you see a child with an AR-15. This is from Daniel Defense and they've locked their account and they're a small weapons manufacturer out of Georgia. The military industrial complex in our country. It's a baby. It's not a problem. It's a baby who doesn't know anything with a gun.
Starting point is 00:25:41 With a toy in Texas. An AR-15. Yeah. Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Now notice he's not reading a book. He's not playing sports. Notice he's not even worshiping at a church.
Starting point is 00:25:58 He is sitting on the floor. What is that Ben? Is that an AR-15? It looks like some sort of AR-15. He's sitting on the floor with like an assault rifle. It's a gun that works really well. Yeah. Whatever it is, AR-15 or not.
Starting point is 00:26:10 Yeah. Whatever it does. That's a deficient. Whatever it is, it's a deficient. It's interesting that they tweeted that on the day an 18 year old murdered a bunch of kids. Yeah. At the very least, it's a marketing snafu.
Starting point is 00:26:25 At the very least. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they won't, the people who defend this won't say it is. Right. It'll all be blamed on mental health. Right.
Starting point is 00:26:38 Mental health. And it's not wrong, but also those people are not saying let's give people healthcare. That's never their second point. They never go, we got a mental health crisis. We should have healthcare. That's never point number two. Right.
Starting point is 00:26:51 And also it's like, I used to work in that field. It's like you don't walk into a psych ward and get shot. I mean, there's gotta be a gun in their hands. My mother is mentally ill. She's very mentally ill. She's never killed anyone. Right. So I do think that it kind of, it's a weird way,
Starting point is 00:27:06 it shits on mentally ill people. Right. To say that they're all violent murderers. Right. I don't believe, yes, I don't think anyone who kills someone's mentally well. I think that, but in the group of mentally ill people, there's a small percentage of them that are violent.
Starting point is 00:27:24 And people have been getting more and more violent. It's almost like this 50 year diet of poisoned food, drugs, booze, high stress, paranoid media has finally gotten into people's heads. And that seems to be maybe an issue. I mean, it's like we've spent 50 years poisoning the population, getting them hooked on drugs so that they can perform their tasks at work,
Starting point is 00:27:53 stressing them to the point of nervous breakdowns. And apparently they're not able to really raise their children in a way that prevents them from mass murder. Yeah, this is a multifaceted issue. There's a lot of things going on. There's a lot of things going on. And even in this very reasonable podcast we're doing,
Starting point is 00:28:12 the rage will not stop. The rage in the comments will not, the first comment will be I couldn't get through it. I did, why don't they understand there are background chats. I had to wait five minutes to get that gun. The second comment will be like, the gun stuff wasn't so bad, but Tim, no gas.
Starting point is 00:28:31 Right, right. Get him out of there. Get him out of there. And folks, by the way, we're not doing a lot this summer. We're not doing a lot this summer because. I'm not that upset about the gun thing, but no gas. I don't even like them. Devon and I to come and sit here, who I love.
Starting point is 00:28:45 And they don't really speak and networks. And you know, you, we like, and there's a few people like, boy, it's not a gas show. It's never going to be a gas show. And we're never going to make it a gas show. I love how you got this chair though for Ray Kumpf. It's a Ray Kumpf chair. It's a Ray Kumpf.
Starting point is 00:29:00 This is a. I like Ray. You know, here's the tight squeeze for Ray. Podcasts are kind of ending. And this is the reality. People have had enough. They've had enough of the same 20 people talking about the same things.
Starting point is 00:29:14 And that's why we've never gotten into the guest model. Nobody has anything to say that matters. And I don't care if they do. And that's why we've never embraced the model of guests. And that's why we're getting into the bullet defense fashion line business. We're going to start arming children with Kevlar vests. Cute Kevlar.
Starting point is 00:29:36 Have you ever thought about doing merch, like Tim Dillon show on body armor? Oh, it's too expensive to produce. And it's too expensive for people to buy. Do you ever get sad? Can you talk into the fucking microphone? You, you, it says breaking Texas DPS. Now say there was no school police officer
Starting point is 00:29:59 who encountered or engaged the mask shooter at Rob elementary school. The shooter was not confronted before entry. And it appears he walked into the school through an unlocked door. We got to lock the doors. That seems obvious to everyone involved. The doors of the school have to be locked.
Starting point is 00:30:15 You know, I showed up at my old school. I was with a friend. This was years ago. And I was, you know, I thought I'd do like a little homecoming. Like, Hey, this is where I went to school. I thought I could walk down. I had no idea.
Starting point is 00:30:24 And this was years ago. I had no idea how, like how shut down these schools were. It was all locked. I knocked on the door. They were like, hello, excuse me. And through the glass, I was like, yeah, I went to school here. I'm Tim Dillon.
Starting point is 00:30:37 I was on Joe Rogan. We talked about Bill Gates. And they looked at me like the guy looked at me like I was crazy showing up at a school. And now, you know, upon further reflection, I now I get it. It does seem crazy. Do you think though, because the locked door
Starting point is 00:30:55 is inevitably someone will get in. Do you think at some point what we need to do is have decoy schools like Saddam Hussein palaces? Very interesting. Where the students are in a decoy school. Right. They have doubles in the other schools. But it's going to get out.
Starting point is 00:31:08 Which school is which? Well, then you got to keep moving like that. What about if we educated kids underground? Underground would be good. Like underground. We have underground cities. We have underground military bunkers. The kids don't need sunlight.
Starting point is 00:31:21 They can certainly underground. We can recreate the conditions of UV light. Or the military industrial complex will make a clip out of this. Everyone arm up and don't leave. And just let delivery people deal with it. Yes. Delivery people are the only brave ones now.
Starting point is 00:31:36 I mean, I was talking about that today. Somebody on Instacart delivered me two candles. They had to take that long walk from the door to their car in a Walgreens parking lot, depending on the time of day in Los Angeles. That ain't nothing. That's nothing. You have no idea what could happen.
Starting point is 00:31:51 On your way, I guarantee you an Instacart or Postmates worker on the way to the car has met their end. Or release a new virus for our own safety to get us back indoors. You just see a burrito fall to the floor and then blood. Because people that leave their houses now really are the most brave. And it's going to be the most brave people.
Starting point is 00:32:13 They're the most brave people. They're outside. Teachers maybe are more brave than cops now. I mean, teaching might be a more deadly job than police. You gotta arm them. Yeah. You gotta arm these kindergarten teachers. Well, here's the deal with Texas.
Starting point is 00:32:26 Why didn't they have guns? I'm not even kidding. Why did they not have guns in Texas? Is this all the gunman's fault? Or can we lay a little bit of blame on the teachers who weren't carrying? These cucks moving from California. That's what it is.
Starting point is 00:32:40 You have a bunch of liberal teachers moving from California that don't have guns and aren't focused on the defense of the school. And it's not just enough to have guns. Again, I just want to focus. We need body armor because the other guy. And that is what's being seriously suggested. Well, you need body armor because the guy's going to come.
Starting point is 00:32:55 If he's got a bigger gun, he's prepared. I watch a lot of self-defense videos. The perp always has the advantage because he's the one that comes in and goes, we're doing this. Right. And you have to go, oh, shit, we're doing this. Because he has the element of surprise.
Starting point is 00:33:10 The element of surprise. And he may have an AR-15. Those things are pretty efficient. They do their job. So what we need is, let's plan a scenario. We need one student. We need one teacher at the chalkboard, handgun maybe, ready in one hand.
Starting point is 00:33:24 Then we need another teacher. So you're saying just a teacher pretty much all day at the ready. Well, you don't know if the kid's got a gun. So you've got to have one, you've got to have a gun facing the kids. That's right. And then you have to have someone watching
Starting point is 00:33:39 your blind spot. So we need another teacher, a teacher's aide, if you will. A teacher's aide. So they don't even need to be teachers. We just need two armed people in each classroom. One watching the door, one watching the windows. AR-15's drawn. It's not a bad idea.
Starting point is 00:33:55 We have two people in the classroom. They each have an AR-15 out. And it's just kind of a fun way to quiet the kids down too. Quiet down. It's nap time. Now the kids themselves may be armed because it's their right. Yes.
Starting point is 00:34:10 But as long as you have an AR-15, you have the advantage because their little hands can't quite grasp or deal with the pushback of an AR-15. Right. And you can take a few of them out if you need to. If you need to, you'll get a few. So if we, because now we're finding we need to live in the last scene of a Quentin Tarantino movie
Starting point is 00:34:29 where everyone's pointing guns at each other at all times. We're finding the common ground here and this is what I want to stress. So if you have a few people in each classroom with AR-15s, one trained on the kids, one on the door of the classroom and one on the teacher because you don't know what they're going through. Oh, it's a great point.
Starting point is 00:34:46 Because the teacher might flip out. So you need one kid marshal in the class. So a kid marshal with a gun. Who has a gun on the teacher. You need two teachers' aides with AR-15s, one at the door, one at the class. Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:35:04 Interesting. Yes. It's not a bad idea. And you need school uniforms and those uniforms are body armor. Kevlar body armor uniforms. Yes. AR-15 at the kids, AR-15 at the teacher,
Starting point is 00:35:19 AR-15 at the door. Problem solved. Not a big deal. Not a tough way to live at all. It's fine. It's totally comfortable and the most important part, reasonable. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:35:31 And people in other countries would watch this and they would think it's comedy. But what it actually is is a good plan. It's a great, smart, thought out, cogent plan. It's not a bad idea. Not at all. Yeah. Otherwise, we're going to be just relying on
Starting point is 00:35:48 what we're relying on now, which I guess is chance, happenstance, luck. Yeah. Yeah, because now it seems like a casino a little bit if you send your kids to school. Yeah, no. It's a little bit of a casino. Even in supermarkets, I would feel a lot safer.
Starting point is 00:36:03 Yes, armed. I would feel a lot safer if the army was there while I got lettuce. If the military could potentially enforce a barrier around the supermarket and check people as they went in. Yeah. We need military checkpoints at Safeway. I don't think it's a bad idea.
Starting point is 00:36:23 I don't think so at all. To put the military outside supermarkets. I don't think so at all. And you know that it will come into this conflict. I guess it's like the thing that a lot of people are nervous of is government overreach. But is this, is part of this that it doesn't seem to death and destruction of mayhem
Starting point is 00:36:37 doesn't seem to bother people as much since the internet. People have kind of been desensitized to this. We do have a culture of people that don't really care that a bunch of kids died. We do have a culture of people that don't really care about death. We have made a generation of sociopaths. We, and I wonder how much technology's had to do with that.
Starting point is 00:36:58 I feel like it's had a good amount to do with it. I think also what's had something to do with it is just the sheer volume. Yeah. Of the horror. Of just how much it happened. That's right. It just, it'd be.
Starting point is 00:37:10 But Theresa Neal had that joke. You see, you can't care about everything. It's like putting out three podcast episodes a week. It's like, it's a lot. Right. It's too many. There's a little numb to it. Right.
Starting point is 00:37:19 It's a lot. So it's like, how many are you going to care for? You got to, you almost have to pick and choose which one's going to get you now. Right. You know? Right. And it's just, it's um.
Starting point is 00:37:27 I mean, they happen like weeks. I think I read, I think the statistic. And Ben can look at, in 2022 so far, there's been hundreds. How many mass shootings in 2022? Hundreds. Now mass shootings defined as I think anytime more than four people are shot.
Starting point is 00:37:43 214. 200 so far. And we are in June. We're in June. 204. And what defines a mass shooting? I believe it's over four people. Over in May.
Starting point is 00:37:53 Yes. I believe it's four. The US has had, we're in May, right? Sorry. 214 mass shootings so far this year. And defines a mass shooting, I believe is four people shot. Now I don't know if that's the case. Um.
Starting point is 00:38:14 Look, guns are good if they're in the right hands. They're bad if they're in the wrong hands. We need to do something to make sure that there's less in the wrong hands and more in the right hands. Whatever that is, have at it America. Four or more deaths, I was correct. Have at it.
Starting point is 00:38:28 More. Yeah, more guns in better hands. Yeah, that's it. Right. That's all there is to it. It's all there is to it. It's gotta be harder than getting a prescription for, you know, whatever your doctor prescribed.
Starting point is 00:38:42 Right. But, you know, I, one of my friends, you know, little brothers came to visit my house and like he's from the Appalachians or whatever. And they make moonshine and it's a different life. It's a different life. It's just a different life. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:56 And, you know, they find, if they find a woman at the gas station, they bring her in the chain or in the back cabin, you know what I mean? It's a different life. It's a different life. Yeah. And I thought you, I thought you'd hired him to murder me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:12 He's not, you know, it was a little terrifying. We had dinner with David Spade. He was like cutting into the plate. He was like cutting into the plate. Like David Spade was staring at him like, what the hell's going on? He's like cutting into the plate. But my point is that, lovely kid,
Starting point is 00:39:27 my point is that it's a different life. Yeah. It's a different life. Yeah. And his first reaction after the school shooting was like, you know, they can't take my guns because they, you know, that's the thing. A lot of, in other countries,
Starting point is 00:39:41 masculinity is maybe defined by fucking a hot woman. Yeah. But a lot of times we now, our masculinity kind of rests on the idea that like, you have a phantom war in your head that you're going to be a part of one day. Yeah. I'm not saying you shouldn't have guns to defend yourself. I'm saying that like, you go to Australia
Starting point is 00:40:00 and you see a bunch of good-looking people on a beach fucking each other. Yes. They're not like, where are the AR-15s? Yeah, but it's... Nobody in Australia that's like drunk, hanging out in the beach. None of them are like, hey,
Starting point is 00:40:12 where are the automatic weapons to really make this a good time? Yeah. You can't ignore the cultural component to this. Like... And here's the thing about Australia. I've said before they're white mongoes. So I'm not saying let's completely emulate
Starting point is 00:40:24 just their mongoloids, but... But, you know, it's like, you see all these Hollywood people saying we got to do something, take away the guns, we have to do something, we got to get this regulation. And then those same people will be starring in a movie with Mark Wahlberg called Diving Gun Guy. Right, that's true.
Starting point is 00:40:40 So it's like, it's just, the movies are like bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Or someone will assault someone who made a joke at the Oscars and they'll applaud that person. And they'll applaud that person. And cry for his speech. Yes. So I respect, I'm saying people should be able
Starting point is 00:40:51 to own guns, should be able to defend themselves. You know, I just feel like it is, it's fucking horrible that this keeps happening and it doesn't seem to show any signs of abating at all. At all. And it's just odd culturally. Yes. That you can have movies where people are being
Starting point is 00:41:12 fucking executed by the droves, but if you show a little bit of a penis, or a nipple, people, it's like outrageous. What is that? It's a puritanical country. Puritanical. It's a puritanical country. We prefer murder to sex.
Starting point is 00:41:26 That's, well, that's, now we're getting it. So now we're getting it. It's weird. Now we're getting it. Yeah, I mean, you go watch a French movie, they're like fucking, you see the in and out. Yeah, we really prefer murder to sex here. We're kind of a sexless culture.
Starting point is 00:41:41 People just want to eat and kill each other. That's what America's kind of become. And I think we have to embrace it. I don't think we should. I think we should embrace. What makes us unique? It's what makes us unique. Other countries like having sex with each other.
Starting point is 00:41:56 They like, you know, I think it's for us to just go to IHOP armed is a beautiful thing. And our enemies, maybe it helps a little bit that they don't even consider attacking us cause they're like, they're killing each other. We don't have to invade them. Yeah, but it is very interesting. The component of this, it's weird,
Starting point is 00:42:14 psychosexual in a weird way, like where it's kind of like, you know, there is something to be said for the fact that young men in America right now are not kind of socializing, you know, not all of them, but there's a sect of them that like are finding it difficult to find partners and mates. And they're not, and it's becoming difficult. I'm sure it's happening in other places as well,
Starting point is 00:42:37 but some of those people are grabbing weapons. Like that is something that some of them do. They are enraged. I mean, again, all we heard after 9-11 was like, it's a bad idea for men in the Arab world to not be near any women and to be in these cults and to, you know, to be sexually frustrated and to be fucking, you know, like indoctrinated.
Starting point is 00:42:58 And now you start to see that we have a similar vibe going on with a lot of guys in America that for whatever reason are just like, hey, you know, I'm having more fun with a gun than a pussy. Right. It's not the only... No, it's not. Otherwise, all these school shooters would just be married men. No, and this guy might have been gay or transgender or straight.
Starting point is 00:43:20 I don't think it truly matters. There seems to be just a wider issue. Yeah, it really is. There is an issue where, like I said, like if you can't even show a penis, why is there such a taboo about a penis? You can't show a vagina. Like, why? Right.
Starting point is 00:43:35 What's the big deal? Right. But you can show murder without... Well, you could also show like cuties in Netflix doc, young girls twerking. Yeah. So in America, you can get away with it if it's pedophilia. Pedophilia or murder.
Starting point is 00:43:47 People in America hate appropriate age sex. Right. They hate it. They don't like consensual, appropriate age sex. They hate it. It's either violence or fucking children. That's all that they can handle. Yes.
Starting point is 00:44:00 Or a Big Mac. Yeah, but appropriate age sex is just grotesque. To people in America, there's no taboo. It's not fun. It's our puritanical roots. There's something there a little bit. Yeah, it really is. And that's why the people that rebel against it
Starting point is 00:44:13 are like in San Francisco, dressed up as leather dogs, being walked down the street in a leash. Well, that's really not the answer either. It's just all a country of extremes. It's a country of extremes. You go, why can't you just like, why can't you have regular sex you know, somewhat irregular instead of just
Starting point is 00:44:31 having to dress up like a dog and be walked down the street and pissed and shit on and whipped and beaten to get hot. I mean, people can't get off now unless a woman's been water-boarded, choked, thrown down the stairs. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:43 I mean, you know, you're kicking her in the face. Like, sex now has gotten incredibly violent just so people can come. And you wonder, yeah, in France or any of these places, you will see people just fucking. But America, it's like people need to get choked and they need to have their head through the wall. It just, yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:58 It just makes you real cynical about humanity that it's one of the few things we have that is good for you to come. Right. There's no consequences. Right. It's not like doing drugs where then you... Well, now at Roe v. Wade, there's going to be some consequences.
Starting point is 00:45:11 There's some consequences. No, there's going to be some consequences. But I mean, it's one of those things. But it's also women, what do you have better to do than have the baby? You know what I mean? Like truly like, the reality is, you think my mother didn't want an abortion.
Starting point is 00:45:21 You don't think she knew she had a fat gay cocaine addict inside of her? Yeah. The reality. I was born and she ignored me and took me to Wendy's. And that's what you do as a parent. You just take your kid to Wendy's. We're going to wrap it up in a little bit here,
Starting point is 00:45:38 but I think we've kind of solved it. I think we solved it, dude. Body armor fashion lines. We got to arm up. Yeah. We got to have these schools completely armed, everyone armed all the time, including the kids,
Starting point is 00:45:50 watching each other, taking all these factors into account. Yeah. And then you need surveillance systems too. You need surveillance at all times. Yeah. At all times. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:00 And that will keep everyone free. Well, at least it'll give pedophiles some jobs while they're doing some good. Why not? They can watch the kids. Here's the crazy idea. Yeah. Pedophiles outside the schools with guns.
Starting point is 00:46:11 The pedophiles care about the kids. Nobody loves them more. The pedophiles care about the kids, they can protect the schools with guns. Nobody is going to care for the well-being of the kids. What about an army of pedophiles around the school with guns? I love it.
Starting point is 00:46:25 Solved. Give pedophiles guns. Yeah. Let them arm the schools. Yeah. And maybe we go back to castles, where there's like a moat around. It's not a bad idea to just have a,
Starting point is 00:46:36 like put schools in places geographically that are harder to get to. So all the kids are in school, you bring the drawbridge up. Right. Lava all around. I think the honest answer is also like, why have schools when you can just send kids
Starting point is 00:46:48 to workhouses and work? That's probably why this is happening. There was no shootings when there were workhouses in London. Let's get these kids back to work cleaning chimneys at four. It's a good idea. Yeah. I mean, again, folks, this is, you know,
Starting point is 00:47:02 it's an issue, but it's not that big of a deal. It's not as big. It's not a big deal. It's not as big of a deal as a lot of other things. Yes. There's a lot of other problems that are bigger deal. What did Ricky Gervais say? There's whole kinds of problems.
Starting point is 00:47:13 What did Ricky Gervais say? Yeah. It's a big, big problem right now. I don't think it's a big, you know, listen, people are going to die. Yeah. And some of them are going to be young. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:21 What are you going to do? There's nothing you can do. Are you going to ban child death? It's really not as big of a deal as... Are you going to ban child death? You can't ban child death. Yeah. And, you know, it's like we're all really more concerned about
Starting point is 00:47:33 what's going to happen in this verdict with Johnny Depp and Amber Heardt. Oh, God, yeah. So, I mean, what's a bigger deal? What's a bigger deal? That's right. What do people care about more really? Yeah. I think they care more about that.
Starting point is 00:47:44 Well, it's more fun. It's more fun. This is very depressing with the kids and the people always getting shot. It's very depressing. Yeah. It is fun. Fake domestic violence. We needed it.
Starting point is 00:47:54 I called it. I called it months ago. I said, we needed a trial to get us out of this. I said, maybe Kanye would like kill Kim and Pete or something. I said, we needed a trial to get us out of the COVID malaise. And it was Depp Heardt. And I didn't even know Amber Heardt breaks down on stand. I'm getting thousands of death threats.
Starting point is 00:48:14 And he should get more. But, you know, I said we needed a trial. I was correct. We absolutely need a trial. We need trials on every channel. We need prank shows on every channel. Yeah. And we need people inside.
Starting point is 00:48:29 Please don't leave your house ever at all. Just watch this new form of entertainment. It's great because it's like soccer. There's very few commercial breaks. It goes for 20 hours. Yeah. This is the longest trial. It's great.
Starting point is 00:48:41 I mean, this shooting will be out of the news in an hour. Yes. It won't even be relevant when it's released on Saturday in two days. No. This episode won't be. There'll be another shooting by then. Yeah. But this Depp Heardt thing has gone on for as long as I can remember.
Starting point is 00:48:54 I think it's six weeks. I feel like I've grown up with these people. Yeah. I care more about them than I do my own family. Yeah. And it's not even close. Yes. I care more about Amber Heardt and Johnny Depp than these kids that got shot.
Starting point is 00:49:06 Because I've been with them longer. It's just on more. It's great. Yeah. And I mean, it's just what it is. There's nothing left really that hasn't been done. Right. Is like trials.
Starting point is 00:49:16 Yeah. Celebrities that are real. And they're drug addicts that beat each other up. Yeah. For your entertainment. And you know, it's fun about it. They're rich. So there's butlers and maids and nannies and assistants and like weird types of things.
Starting point is 00:49:28 And there's Coachella and the Hills and Australia and we're in Italy or whatever they're doing. And they're, you know, it's fun to hear about somebody getting beaten in a nice area. For once. It's good. It's a good time to be a body language expert. Yeah. They're doing real well. They're doing real well.
Starting point is 00:49:49 They're providing a lot of commentary for this. Yeah. Well, I mean, folks, we've come up with the solutions. I don't know what you want me to do. I mean, you know, unfortunately, this is what happens. You can homeschool your kids and you can shoot them. Yeah. Don't go out, but it's not just school.
Starting point is 00:50:04 So don't go outside. Well, you don't need to. Yeah, you don't need to. With the Instacart and Postmates. Yeah. I don't know. Truly not. You don't need to go outside.
Starting point is 00:50:12 You don't need to be outside. You don't need to go. If you go to a National Park, you get abducted. If you go to the grocery store, you make a shot in the face. You don't need to go outside. There's you have streaming services. You have people that are willing to brave the elements to bring you nachos and they're going to get killed.
Starting point is 00:50:27 Yeah. So at the end of the day, there's no real reason you need to leave your house. It's not a big deal. Everything should be like going to the airport. Right. Checkpoints and metal detectors everywhere. You shouldn't. And nobody should have their shoes on ever.
Starting point is 00:50:44 There's one safe place in America. There's one safe place in America and it's Austin, Texas. Paradise. So if you want to live in a place, where was this shooting? How far away from Austin? So it was 30 minutes or 90 miles west of San Antonio. So that's about three hours, I guess. Okay.
Starting point is 00:51:04 Yeah. Yeah. But now Google Austin shooting. Nothing comes up. Let's see. No, Austin. I bet nothing comes up. Austin's just weird.
Starting point is 00:51:12 News here. It's all going to be what happened here. Man shot dead by officers after he allegedly pointed a gun at people from his truck. That was 17 hours ago and dead after opening fire on officers from pickup truck in Southeast Austin. This is the same thing. Yeah. Teen arrested after shooting death in South Austin parking lot outside LA Fitness.
Starting point is 00:51:34 That was three days ago. Half of deadly is US shootings were in Texas. Oh. It's great. It's weird. Not great. You know, it's weird when you go. It's not a great.
Starting point is 00:51:45 It's not great. It's weird when you go to, like, the very liberal, I guess, as far as gun laws go, meaning you can have a gun. You go to those places, but they have signs at all the places where you go that say, don't bring your gun in here. Right. You're like, wait a second. I thought I was in North Carolina.
Starting point is 00:52:05 I can't bring my gun to the opera. Right. Why can I not have my gun at the opera? You notice that all the stores have places. No guns. No guns. You're like, dude, aren't we in North? What's the point?
Starting point is 00:52:19 Yeah. I'm having the gun if I can't bring it inside. Well, here's the deal. I mean, we've been a bunch of buffoons and goofballs, but my suggestion to everyone with children is to just fucking not get so attached. My name is Tim Dylan, the special, the special that we're talking about is called mom love. Yeah. And we need a lot less of mom and dad love.
Starting point is 00:52:40 Yeah. Yannis Papas is on YouTube right now. Mom love. It's a full hour special, very, very funny. And my special coming out soon, we just got an offer today, so it might not be on YouTube. We'll see. Support the sponsors of the show. If you enjoy the content, we really do appreciate it.
Starting point is 00:52:59 When people get mad at the ad reads, you go, they're not funny anymore. Well, here's the reality folks. Some of these companies are just paying too much money for us to be funny and they don't understand that if we're funnier, more people would actually buy the product. So if these companies are listening, the reality is if we're able to do funny ads, people buy the product more. I always fight for the funny ads. And there are some companies that will still let us do the funny ads, but some won't.
Starting point is 00:53:25 And you know, what do you want me to do? Not earn money? They won't even give us the ad. This is a dumb people. Our people are like, isn't it enough to Patreon? And they're not Southern because the Southern people understand I should have a fiefdom. But it's probably like people are like, don't you understand, Patreon's enough. Why do you even have ads?
Starting point is 00:53:45 They go, because we want more than less money. It's America. Also dummy, if there would be no ads, like for example, there would never have been ads and they won't give, I won't have ads and I won't do any of the ads. Like if I don't do them the way they want me to do them, I just won't have them. Right. Every now and then a company will let us do a funny ad. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:04 Now the problem is I've explained to these companies that funny ads are actually better because they're longer and people don't skip them and they actually buy the product. But the problem is a lot of companies now are getting a little upset at some of these funny ads, you know? What do you want me to do? I don't know what to do. But these products are still great. What do we have?
Starting point is 00:54:26 The watch and the underwear, the underwear on it. We have athletic greens. I mean, you're not going to buy on it. These are great companies. On it was a supplement company started by popular podcaster Mark Marin. These are great companies. And I'm telling you right now, if you miss out on a box of awesome, are they still with us?
Starting point is 00:54:49 They're still with us. Yeah, yeah. If you miss out on a box of awesome, which is they'll give you a little wooden box with a, you know, like a pipe and a couple of sticks of dynamite. If you miss out on that, your fault, your problem, Yanis, are you promoting anything? Where are you going to be? Tell them where to find God help the special, please just go watch the God damn special. You're going to love it.
Starting point is 00:55:12 It's a good hour. The people seem to really like it. People are enjoying it. People. The people want it. Yeah. So just go watch that. Listen to my podcast.
Starting point is 00:55:23 Go on it. Long days with Yanis Popes. We're putting all the links in the description. It'll be out this Saturday, Yanis Popes on Twitter, Science, Journalist, He-Ha, Long Days podcast. Go watch his special. As always, you have a page on our right now with out right now with Sal from the impractical Joker's, which is funny.
Starting point is 00:55:46 And what else we got cooking? What else are you? What are you doing? Oh, you're, you're on the road. Ugh. You have dates to promote. I have two dates. I have, if you haven't seen me, I'm a Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, I'm with the funny
Starting point is 00:55:59 boner Richmond, Virginia. God help me. God help me. And two shows Friday, two shows Saturday, one show Sunday, I mean, who's buying tickets to this? Are they nuts? It's Memorial Day. But anyway, common will be great.
Starting point is 00:56:11 16 to the 18 San Jose, absolute last day. It's probably like had less headlining dates for like six months minimum, probably. And then I'll be just doing spots out there. But you know, get it while the getting's good, folks. I don't know what to tell you. Oh, I got one. If you listen to this, I'm Saturday, this Saturday, I'm in, I'm in Newport, Rhode Island at the Jane Pickens Theater.
Starting point is 00:56:35 Don't go fly to see me in Richmond. Jane Pickens Theater, May 28th, Newport, Rhode Island, part of the Rogue Island Comedy Festival. Ducky, great guy, September 9th through 10th, Uncle Vinnie's in Port, well, that's a little bit out, isn't it? It's out there. If I got to write a new act, got to write a new act and you have a child, I have a child and you need to train.
Starting point is 00:56:55 I need to train her in military tactical defense. Yeah. And she's Greek. She'll take to it. She'll take to it very well. She'll take to it. She'll have a AR-15 and a full beard when she's five. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:57:05 It's going to be her two year old birthday present. Good night, everyone and good luck.

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