The Tim Dillon Show - 306 - Breaking Point
Episode Date: July 10, 2022Tim discusses Shawn Mendes recent struggles with mental health, reaching the mountain top in a career, a bizarre ceremony in the Swiss Alps, and Governor Newsom's new commercial for California airing ...in Florida. Bonus episodes every week: ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: HELIX BED ▶▶ https://www.helixsleep.com/timd for 200 dollars off Mattress orders and two free pillows WATCHES ▶▶ for 20% off go to https://www.vincerocollective.com/timdillon 🔒 VPN: Get three months free ▶▶ https://www.expressvpn.com/timdillon 📦 BOX OF AWESOME ▶▶ http://boxofawesome.com use code TIMDILLON at checkout for 20% off CRYPTO ▶▶ http://exodus.com/tim to start free. Over 4 million people trust Exodus to manage their crypto. Join the movement away from traditional finance by downloading Exodus. ONNIT ▶▶ Go to http://onnit.com/tim for 10% off EVERY MAN JACK ▶▶ https://www.everymanjack.com to get 20% off your first purchase use code DILLON 🎧 HEADPHONES: For 15% off! ▶▶ https://www.buyraycon.com/tim 👨🦱 HAIR LOSS: ▶▶ https://www.keeps.com/TimDillon 💆THERAPY ▶▶ https://www.betterhelp.com/TIMD BIRD DOGS! ▶▶ https://www.birddogs.com/ use code TIMDILLON ATHLETIC GREENS ▶▶ https://athleticgreens.com/timdillon MASTERWORKS ▶▶ https://masterworks.art/tim SIMPLI SAFE ▶▶ https://simplisafe.com/timdillon to save 20% MUD\WTR ▶▶ https://mudwtr.com/tim use code TIM for $5 off STARTMAIL: start securing email privacy! ▶▶ https://startmail.com/timd for 50% off your first year! Watch SteveWillDoIt's Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC55JghDUfUatuLc1wp4uGoA ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ 🐦 Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon 🌍 Tim Dillon Live Dates!: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows 📹 Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4woSp8ITBoYDmjkukhEhxg Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▶▶ Ed McMahon benavery33@gmail.com https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ #TheTimDillonShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show.
Sean Mendez is on the brink, canceling three weeks of shows.
He's upset, unhappy, under pressure at a,
I think he tweeted out or put a message
that he is at his breaking point.
We are upset, we're sad to hear that.
He goes, I've been touring since I was 15
and to be honest, it's always been difficult
to be on the road away from friends and family.
I agree with that statement,
but end it when it's on the road.
Like it's difficult to be on the road
because the benefit of being on the road
is being away from your friends and family.
But that's something they had,
like the publicist goes, come here, get me.
After a few years off the road,
I felt like I was ready to dive back in,
but that decision was premature.
And unfortunately, the toll of the road
and the pressure has caught up to me
and I've hit a breaking point.
After speaking with my team and health professionals,
I need to take some time to heal,
to take care of myself and my mental health first and foremost.
As soon as there are more updates, I promise,
I will let you know, I love you guys.
And I'm sure all of his fans are like, hey, we love you.
Don't worry about it, put yourself first.
If I try to move a show a half hour,
if I say the show starts at 8.45,
people start threatening my life
and screaming and yelling, my wife took off work.
You know, we're fucking,
and we chose this over her medicine.
And so I support Shawn Mendes too.
And I hope things work out for Shawn.
It's not easy out there.
God bless him.
He's got a lot of money.
You know, you can always quit, right?
What's his net?
What's Shawn, what is the net worth of Shawn Mendes?
Just quit, just walk away.
I'm telling you, Shawn, it's fine.
40 million dollars, you did it.
40 million, you're 23.
He's at a breaking point.
What the hell?
What are the rest of people at?
This is why people hate celebrities,
because instead of just saying,
hey, I don't wanna do this.
I don't wanna do it.
I don't wanna do it.
I'm hot, I'm rich, I fucked this hot chick.
I probably fuck hot dudes you don't know about, perhaps.
And I don't wanna do it.
I don't wanna go to Mohegan's son.
I don't want to.
I thought I would, I don't.
But he can't say that.
You know, he's gotta, you know,
but this is why people hate celebrities,
because he's got all this money,
and he's at a, you know, it's a breaking point.
And people get angry about that,
but I understand it.
Shawn Mendes, me and you buddy, let's stick together.
What is this tour called, The Wonder World Tour?
Is Wonder Tour.
This was one of the only kids from the Vine era
that became a major, massive celebrity.
The rest of the kids from the Vine era
are living in tents right now on Skid Row.
Sucking people off for money
so that they can just buy apps at the app store.
That's what these kids are up to.
He's got $40 million.
But I get it, it is stressful out there, you know?
I'm doing a renovation right now,
and it is incredibly trying.
Trying.
I am at a breaking point.
I am at a breaking point with Cedar.
And all of these, you know,
I was on a plane coming back to Los Angeles.
All of these shows, these shows about, you know,
flip this house and flip or flop with the Tarik El Musa,
whatever, they're all fake.
And all of these shows give you this idea
that you could just flip house.
You could go in there and, you know,
switch out a few things and get everything done on the cheap,
turn it around and flip it.
Right now, the cost of anything,
if someone comes into your home now
and you just say, hey, I have a gaping hole in my wall,
can you fix it?
After three minutes of talking to them, you go,
we'll live with it, we're gonna live with it.
If there are wild animals coming at night into your home
to kill your children,
and all you need is a wall patch
after three to five minutes of speaking to somebody right now,
you just go, fuck it, you know what, it's not that bad,
we'll live with it, it's a nice breeze.
Because the amount of money that it costs
to get anything done, the materials, you know,
yes, sure, these are luxury problems,
but they're still problems.
And they're not always luxury problems,
some people are having babies and they need bigger houses.
Because now, because a Roe v. Wade, they have to have them.
So they have to put on extensions
and it's fucking nuts out there.
So Shawn Mendes, a toast to you.
I raise my glass to you,
everything you're going through,
being hot, being 23, being amazing looking.
I know, well, no, that's not, he doesn't see, he feels,
he feels differently than he looks, he's sad.
And I know that, I can intellectualize that.
I imagine that it would be empty,
because the thing with a kid like Shawn Mendes,
you're hot, you're talented, you're dating this hot,
Camilla Cabello, who does he date?
I don't even know.
It's Camilla.
Who's he dating now?
Bayhar, Joy Bayhar,
who he's dating one of the hot young starlets.
Camilla Cabello, so you date Cabello Cabello.
So you did, look at this guy, look at him,
get that photo up, get that photo up
if you can get any photo up.
There they are.
He's on the brink, don't you get it?
Now, I understand that because you realize
that empty life is, when your life is like that,
I'm telling you right now, this is not even a joke,
you actually realize how vapid and empty life is,
and all the things that most people struggle for in life,
getting laid, having money, looking good.
They are challenges that define people's lives.
Like people losing 20 pounds is a challenge
that defines people's entire life on earth.
They spend their entire life trying to lose 30 pounds.
To be a little less fat,
that's the entire arc of their entire life.
And Shawn Mendes is just gorgeous and he's rich now.
He's got $40 million.
People spend their entire life struggling
to put $50,000 in a retirement account
so they can get a little like barn thing.
He already at 23 years old has $40 million.
He's already hot, he's already got the girl.
He's already famous.
There's not much left to do, there's nowhere to go.
So that's why he's at a breaking point
because we haven't invented interplanetary travel.
He's already at 23 years old done it.
There's nothing left on this planet for him to do, really.
So unless he goes to Mars,
there's nothing more he can do.
So people go, oh, I'm not making fun of him.
It's simply interesting to note what happens to people
who are so incredibly successful at a young age
that there's nowhere for them to go.
I understand what he means.
I am 14 years old.
What I have done with this show,
is I've been bailing him out of the mess of his life,
giving him and his family a reason to live,
just cause they say they know me,
giving my own family a purpose
because they now walk around with their head held high.
At 14 years old, I will be dead by 20
because what else can I do?
How can I reach the next level?
It's impossible, won't happen.
It won't happen.
I've done it.
I've done it so many times over at a young age
that it's not possible for me to find fulfillment.
Do you get it?
Do you understand?
Me, Shawn Mendes, people like us,
who've lapped you so many times
in every conceivable metric of life, me and Shawn Mendes.
When guys like me and Shawn Mendes sit around,
we look at you people as if you are like some type
of flesh eating bacteria that lives on a log
or in some lake.
We look at you like a necrotizing fasciitis,
like you're alive, but for no good reason
and to no good end.
And people like me and Shawn Mendes struggle greatly
with meaning in life because we have done it
in a way that is so incredible.
And that's why we've become very close friends,
me and Shawn Mendes.
We spend a lot of our time together.
I was the one who told him to cancel this tour
because I said, you have to start thinking about you.
And this is why people like him,
within four or five years will be, there's two things.
He'll get back on the horse.
He'll become some type of musical legend.
Maybe he'll be an actor or he will join a cult, you know?
There's very few places to go
unless he really just like drops out quietly,
he goes to a suburb, is rich,
and just opens up like, you know, I don't know,
like a little restaurant, invest in a franchise.
Cause there's nowhere to go.
He's at the top.
He's at the pinnacle.
There's nowhere to really go.
What do you suggest if Shawn Mendes is your friend
and Shawn Mendes comes to you and goes,
I'm at the breaking point.
I simply can't do it anymore.
What do you do?
What do you tell him?
What is your actual advice?
This is tough because so many mental health people
have advised him already, but I would say-
What are they saying?
What is the mental health community saying?
Right here, they're saying-
What are they saying?
He consulted healthcare professionals in his team
before deciding he needed to take some time to heal
and take care of myself and my mental health.
So they told him to, that he's like Elvis.
He's overworked, he's over-
I just imagine my agent,
I imagine going to my agent going,
listen, I'm having a lot of mental issues.
I'm at the breaking point.
My agent, I've had COVID.
My agent's like, just lie about it
and go out there and perform.
Okay?
My agent right now is terrified because they are,
the Ukraine, which is the bread basket of Europe
is as a food producer, as a grain producer is struggling.
My agent consumes 15 loaves of bread a day.
And wholesale, he is terrified.
Having me go out and perform is so important for him
and his family that it doesn't matter what I had.
Like I've literally had COVID.
He's like, just lie.
And he goes, no, it'll check, just go do it.
Who cares?
So I could only imagine if I came to him and said,
you know, I'm at the breaking point.
He's like, well, I understand that.
But how about Reno, Nevada?
You know, it'll get you out of that.
Do you know there was one member of Shawn Mendes' team
who was like, listen, Shawn,
we all think we know what we want.
We think we want peace and quiet.
But you know what we actually want?
The hordes are screaming, ticket holding fans.
That's what we really want.
We could all say that we want the love of a friend
or a family member.
But you know what we really want?
We wanna hear the merch numbers at the end of the night.
How many of those girls but hoodies?
That's what we really need.
Like, you know, there's one scumbag on Mendes.
See, I don't have a team.
I have one agent who weighs as much as a team.
But Shawn Mendes has an actual team
of people who advise him.
You know, but good for him.
I mean, you know, God bless.
Gavin Newsom is thinking of running
for the president of the United States.
He is the most, one of the most hated politicians
from the most hated state in the union.
Gavin Newsom has now released an ad
that says that he is going to try
or planning potentially to be a contender.
And you know, Biden's senile and a corpse,
Kamala's incredibly unpopular.
Hillary too old, unpopular.
There aren't many options for the Democrats, right?
The Republicans have DeSantis seemingly.
Maybe Trump, probably DeSantis.
Gavin Newsom definitely seems to be,
yeah, the original version of this ad, by the way.
And which is good, which is why they had drag queens
twerking and then eight year olds
just making it rain on them.
That was the original version of the ad.
And it was, they had it in,
it was set right on Universal Lot.
We're proud of that in California Universal Studios.
And it's just eight, nine year olds just making it rain
on the drag queens and the drag queens
are just twerking with their G-strings up.
And then Gavin Newsom stands in the middle
and he goes, you're going to pay for gas, bitch.
And then all the drag queens go, yes, daddy.
And then they start whipping him with a leather thing.
And then it says, Gavin Newsom,
hey, America, how about this?
And it's just a question mark.
That was the original ad.
They ran that in focus groups.
Now, people got really testy about that.
Gavin Newsom didn't understand why he said,
it was a drag queen birthday party.
What's the big deal?
It was a normal day party.
What's the big deal?
It was a normal California drag birthday party.
And with some leather daddy BDSM climate content,
appropriate climate content, where you know,
because Gavin says, listen,
the reality of the situation is at, you know,
and it's like, it's like, we're saving the planet.
I mean, and I'm not even kidding,
like the original slogan that they were testing again,
and I'm not, folks, people get so mad at me
when I report the news.
I barely give opinions on these things.
Gavin Newsom's campaign ad,
that slogan that they were testing was,
we are going to save the planet for child drag queens.
And it was just child drag, children in drag.
And Gavin Newsom goes, this is the future.
Now, that slogan did horribly when it was tested.
So now they've, now they have this,
where he's standing in a yard that's meant to look like,
by the way, landscaping on this yard,
now that I know, you look at it around 20 to 30K,
just on the landscaping around,
but he's trying to like appeal to people
and seem like he's, Gavin Newsom,
as the great red comp and me have said many times,
is in a feet wine merchant.
What that means is that he has a state in Northern California,
where he wanders around in a robe and drinks like Barolo,
drinking red wine.
He's never been to Los Angeles.
He doesn't know what it is because in his words,
Latinos are confusing.
He goes, not good or bad, but I don't know who's who.
This is what he said to his wife.
Now, so with, by the way, he was married
to that Kimberly Guilfoyle Newsom,
who's now married to Donald Trump Jr.
Because one thing she likes is authentic connections.
She's in it for love.
Kimberly Guilfoyle Newsom, first wife.
And so was he, he wanted that big-kitted monster too.
So see, he's not, how do you let him off, right?
He knew what was going on.
So Gavin Newsom now is,
what they're doing now in California is
if you have a birthday party for your children,
there have to be drag queens.
Yeah, that is a requirement in California.
At least one, at least one drag queen at the party.
That's, it's a requirement.
Let's play, now of course we're kidding around here.
I don't think that's a law yet.
Keep the kids out of the bars.
I've said it before, gay people should be a little more,
should be more vocal on this.
It shouldn't only be like right-wing Christian types
that say this, it is incredibly inappropriate
for any children to be throwing money at a drag queen
or a stripper or children stripping themselves.
Children should be left alone to figure out who they are.
And that's the position of sane people, okay?
Except in the state of California,
because kids in the state of California are advanced.
So if they want to twerk on their birthday,
they should be allowed to.
There's a lot of kids that go to their parents
and say, listen, I want this to be a 70-style bath house
for my birthday, can I do bath house theme?
And the parents have to, and the parents are straight,
of course, but they have virtue.
So they go, well, and they talk about it.
They go, hey, Mike, yeah, we're gonna do pizza party,
but some of the kids, they have gluten and sensitivities.
So that's gonna be tough.
So our son, Mike, wants to do 70s bath house theme,
which would mean that all the kids and the parents
rent out a bath house and everybody goes in
and simulate the conditions of an orgy, but not have them.
But show people that it's okay and fun,
so they want to do bath house,
and glory holes, but the cupcakes go through.
This is,
so here is, this is what I mean.
It's like, let the kids figure out who they are.
There's zero reason for a kid to really be in a bar.
I used to watch my father play music in a bar.
My family would bring me in,
and I'd stand there and watch that
and near do well strum a guitar.
And he was very good at it, you know?
And he used to play with this guy, Gary,
and Gary was on the keyboards and the synth,
and my father was on the guitar,
and I was like a young kid,
and I'd go watch him play music instead of raise me.
And it was bad for me.
It's actually bad for me.
I shouldn't have been there.
So I just think kids should be left alone,
and it's handing Christian loony tunes an issue.
It's going, here you go, here's your issue.
If you want freedom, if you want women to be able to
have abortions during a reasonable window,
if you want people to be able to marry who they want,
if you want society to kind of progress in a way
that does it completely abandon morality and judgment,
you cannot have children.
And I don't know who is doing this.
Who is doing this?
Now, certain things are okay.
Certain kids, my friend is doing it, her daughter,
they're doing dykes on bikes for the kids,
where all the kids are gonna get on motorcycles
with lesbians and ride out into the desert.
That's fine, because lesbians don't have sex.
It's not sexual at all.
Lesbians are just creatures from an ancient past,
Trupacabras.
So there's nothing sexual about that.
So there's nothing wrong with the kids getting on the motor,
because the kids are on the motorcycles
and they go out to the desert with the dykes.
Fine, fine.
Here's another thing, which I don't know if I love.
Friend of mine, his four-year-old,
they're doing a rent-themed birthday, the show Rent.
Well, I'm all for Broadway,
but the kids are gonna each pick a character from Rent.
Someone's gonna be the heroin addict,
who does anal, me, me.
Someone's gonna be the transgender person, Angel,
who has AIDS.
Someone's gonna be Mark, who has AIDS.
Someone's gonna be Adam, who has AIDS.
Someone's gonna be the black guy, forget his name.
He sings Santa Fe, which I love.
Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe.
What a great song.
Collins, I forget his name, don't look it up.
The point is, he's doing, there's a four-year-old.
Right, and, because the four-year-old said to the parents,
he came to the parents and said,
can we do a rent-themed party
where everyone pretends to have AIDS?
So I don't know how I feel about that,
but I don't think it's the worst idea
if all the kids can know that they don't have AIDS.
Drag queens, you know, for the most part,
it's like adult entertainment, you know?
We should have adult entertainment in America,
and drag queens, you know, I think the fun of drag
is that they are acerbic and witty,
and they say things that are inappropriate,
and usually it's late at night,
and they're funny and sexual.
In certain instances, not always drag
inherently isn't sexual, it's kind of buffoonish
and clownish, but there are moments of it
that are certainly inappropriate for kids.
I also think drag queens, you know,
they're inappropriate, they're fun.
They do lowbrow racial ethnic humor.
I've always seen that, I think it's great.
I don't think that PC drag queens,
I mean, what a hellish nightmare.
Drag queens reading books at library.
Who wants to read books to kids at life?
Can you imagine if we had to do that,
like every Sunday, we had to go read books
to these illiterate junkies in this country?
Let's watch this, this Gavin Newsom's
gonna be the president now.
Yeah, and he's airing this in Florida.
Gavin Newsom's airing it in these swings.
Him and DeSantis are going, they're going hog wild.
By the way, Florida parties for the kids,
they're doing, and here again, you might not like it.
My friend lives in Florida, I'm not even kidding.
He said, we're doing a party and it is,
the theme of the party is Parkland,
but the kids win this time.
So the theme of the party is Parkland, but the kids win.
So the kids get guns that are not loaded, we hope,
and the job of the kids, they run around
and a kid comes in and they pointed them,
they go, look at that anti-social communist,
and then they get them.
Before he gets them, Gavin Newsom, the president.
It's Independence Day.
Oh. Let's talk about what's going on in America.
Freedom, it's under attack in your state.
Republican leaders, they're banning books,
making it harder to vote, restricting speech in classrooms,
even criminalizing women and doctors.
I urge all of you living in Florida to join the fight.
I mean, I'm so pro-choice guy,
but I just love the idea of criminalizing women.
And I'm wondering, can I criminalize women
while still being pro-choice?
Like, is there a way to criminalize women
while letting them have abortions?
Because that fascinates me.
That hits me right in the political sweet spot
if there ever was one.
If there ever was a way to really speak to Tim Dillon,
it's remaining kind of libertarian-minded
and allowing people to have freedoms,
but also finding a way to criminalize women.
Just that coupling of words makes me
get out the checkbook and donate.
I don't know how that's being done,
but just women starting as criminals
and then having to prove they're not, I like that idea.
Much like how people are born with original sin,
women being criminals first, and then...
So what's he say?
Let's finish this up here.
Join the fight with Gavin Newsom.
Or join us in California, but we still believe in freedom.
Doesn't look like that.
By the way, go back to that.
Go back to that.
Nothing, nothing looks like what they...
No state.
Let me tell you right now.
I just returned from the greatest state
that God ever gave man, New York,
where we have the Hamptons,
which is a beautiful community.
It's stunningly, it's breathtaking.
So many different types of white people on pills.
You know what I mean?
So many different types of those long white stare.
Like kind of like...
You have this, yeah.
And you have the surfer, which is a little more like.
But a couple of women there on the pills,
get off the bagels, ladies,
because, you know, in the Hamptons, the women have to...
And I have a friend there who's managing my home there,
she's a fatty bombati.
And the women aren't kind to her because of that.
A fat, rotund, pink, cherubic man in the Hamptons
is treated as he should be,
like a God who fell from the clouds,
because he might have a lot of money.
But the young mommies do not like big ladies.
They don't like it.
And I was just there and it's pretty and it holds up.
New York City holds up.
When you go, you go,
I've seen it on a bunch of films.
This is kind of what it looks like.
When you go to California,
there's some type of like, wait, what?
Wait, huh?
There's very few places that hold up.
Some up North, Big Sur, that area, fine.
Beverly Hills, of course, it's Beverly Hills.
But the vast majority of California
is it just does not present as you would think it does.
It has done a great hoodwink.
California is, you know, it's a dating profile,
you know, that's a little misleading for sure.
Not a straight up catfish, but like where you go,
oh God, like when you see the person at the table,
you know this feeling.
You're walking to the coffee table
and you see the person from about,
let's say 10 meters away and your first response is,
I hope to God this isn't what it is.
And you know down deep that it is.
And you have to sit down with them anyway
while they like, you know, eat their coffee.
They like chew it.
Well, that's a little meh.
I was talking to Ray Kump earlier.
Peter Schiff is in trouble now
they're trying to get him or his bank.
I don't know why he's running a bank.
Peter Schiff's running a Puerto Rican bank,
but you know, people do what they do.
And we support Schiff, never support the feds,
Peter Schiff owns a bank with Jake Paul, who cares.
So what?
So what?
It's nice to have a bank.
Why don't you get a bank?
The man in him, he said he's capital requirements.
He doesn't have any money in a bank.
Stop this.
I don't know.
I don't know enough about it to even go into it.
I don't know enough about it.
We want to try to get him on the show.
Let's get him on the show.
He's, he's, he's in trouble, they're trying to get him.
So let's, let's watch this, by the way.
Because by the way, just get,
can you freeze on the picture of Santa Monica?
Was that right before this?
Yeah.
Yeah, so freeze it here.
Okay, okay.
I don't know what year this was taken.
Look how far away you are, by the way.
This is kind of funny and interesting.
Look how far away you are.
This is essentially an aerial shot of California.
This is where California still can look
somewhat desirable from the air.
This is so far away from anything.
Now I just want you to Google in another tab,
Santa Monica homeless,
because Santa Monica is one of the scariest places
you'll ever go.
I was there the other day
and the people just walk around screaming at the sun,
like cursing God.
I mean, yeah, any photo, unimportant.
So that's up close, what Santa Monica looks like.
That's the same area in that.
That's the same area that you're looking at
from the aerial shot.
Yeah, it's the same one right there.
There it is.
That's what it looks like up close, okay?
Endless tent cities.
Now go to the aerial, isn't that pretty?
That looks pretty.
So what, again, it's a trick of Hollywood.
They're lying to you.
They are making it seem like
California is an idyllic paradise
when in fact it is not.
The only thing that is also the rest of the country
is also a dump.
So unless you can live in like Jackson Hole, Palm Beach,
East Hampton, there's like 10 places in the country
that aren't a complete dump.
So that's a benefit to California.
Let's watch the rest of this ad.
But we still believe in freedom, freedom of speech.
No, you don't. Listen, not only do you not believe in freedom,
this state is not free.
They take all of your money.
You don't get to, I mean, the vaccine thing,
they went nuts, lockdowns.
They absolutely don't believe in freedom.
It's so, you know, why not just honest political ads?
Why not just honest political ads?
No, I mean, they like genuinely,
where they stop to cut this bullshit about like,
well, we're free and in your state, they don't like free.
And it's like, what do you want?
What do you want?
Like literally it's a guy like fucking Newsome going,
looking at you and going, what do you care about?
And who do you want to see killed?
Do you agree with us?
You like what we like?
You want to kill the people we want to kill?
Or the other way around?
Cause that's all it is.
What do you like?
Which natural disasters do you like?
And who do you disagree with on a level
where if they were a victim of a natural disaster,
you'd say, good, that's real political ads.
It's none of this bullshit about this beautiful
mixed-race family.
By the way, this is freedom from hate
and the freedom to love.
So you have a mixed-race family here.
The freedom to hate and the freedom from love.
Okay?
That family, which I don't know if it's real or not, okay?
Each of them has to work 19 hours a day
to afford their $19,000 mortgage in this state.
So there's not a lot of freedom left
after you've worked every hour that you're alive.
And there's not a lot of freedom to raise your children
unless you can afford, you know,
to really have the time to be with them.
That's the other issue.
They don't want to talk about how unaffordable
California has.
Keep going.
Hate and the freedom to love.
Don't let them take your freedom.
Paid for by Newsom for California Governor 2022.
Yeah, I mean, listen, it's not, it's not,
it's not God.
What is this here?
Oh God, I think this is that Gary Chambers guy.
I don't know.
I don't have anything for him.
So let's just move on.
He's a scars and bars guy.
Great.
Whatever that means.
God bless him.
He's a Democrat from Louisiana running for the Senate.
Good for him.
I don't know what anything means anymore.
He does a campaign where he burns a Confederate flag.
Okay, cool.
Cool.
Hey man, my best to you.
But everywhere's a dump, right?
Florida's a dump outside of a few places.
So I mean, you know, what are you gonna do?
Your brothers had homeless getting bad in Dallas.
Yeah, he said it's not bad.
They're gonna get bad everywhere.
I know that it's fun to hit California over the head
because they have crazy policies
and they've brought this on themselves,
encouraged it, some of it's to climb it.
But homeless, this is gonna get bad everywhere
for the simple fact that drugs are becoming
the only thing that work to alleviate
the hellscape we've created.
Yeah, I mean, those are the only things that work, right?
So drugs, drugs tend to work very well.
The problem is they have a lot of unintended consequences
that knock people down a few pegs in life.
And unfortunately, it's hard to climb out of that hole.
Hard to climb out of the hole.
I wanted to watch a little bit.
Somebody sent me this six years ago,
they did like this very weird,
an RT covered it, this very strange ceremony
for the opening of a tunnel in Switzerland.
And it really did, you know,
obviously a lot of people send you things and go,
oh, it's an Illuminati ritual, it's an Illuminati ritual
and da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
And a lot of it's, you know, hokum.
A lot of it's, you know, crazy
and they're making this big stretch, it's a leap to jump.
Not so much here because this one
is an incredibly disturbing and hilarious.
It's hard to come out, thank you.
By the way, people from Switzerland are just terrifying.
Can we see that on the screen?
Yeah, yeah, here.
By the way, so, and I don't know
if this has been covered a bunch, maybe it has been.
Somebody just sent this to me.
You know what's amazing about all this?
This is an opening of like a tunnel.
It's completely like unnecessary.
It could have been like a ribbon-cutting ceremony.
Just a real plain, you know,
basically something that's ignored,
but instead they do this crazy hour-long ceremony
where they have like a bow-met dancing around
with guys in goats' heads and everything.
Play a little bit of this, Ben,
and then play some of the, you know, what should we call it?
What are they called when you save something
in a minute mark timestamp?
Yeah, some of the more disturbing timestamps here,
they're just, it's really funny.
It's so long.
Okay, I'll just start at the beginning here
because this is just, and the music's insane too.
Yeah.
And this is at a, obviously, a faster speed.
Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna, should I just leave it on faster,
I guess?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is just how it starts right here.
Klaus Schwab was like, we're going all the way this time.
We don't give a fuck.
We don't give a fuck.
Klaus Schwab's like, every now and then we just go hard.
You know, every now and then we just gotta go hard,
like sometimes, go to some more of the other stuff.
Yeah, this stuff right here.
Yeah, opening of a tunnel.
Slow this down.
Okay.
This is really like where you just go,
oh, this is insane.
Can you imagine?
I mean, these are the guys in Hostel,
in the movie Hostel who drill through the girl's eye.
And they're just sitting there and they're watching this.
I mean, this is one of the most insane things
I've ever seen in my life.
Yeah.
This is the, uh, this is the Gisling Maxwell Memorial service.
He's yodeling.
This is the yodeling pedophile.
This is the,
this is the yodeling pedophile,
a character from Swiss mythology.
Okay, so once they, then they have the Pope,
there's a whole thing.
But the Pope comes?
Yeah, the Pope, very brave cameo.
The Pope makes a cameo for the opening of a tunnel.
I mean, what, what is going on here?
Why, why is the Pope, what is the Pope doing here?
This is like, these guys have these weird bird cages
like on their head, I think.
Oh God, I mean, this, this whole thing's weird.
And then, uh,
this is, as they're moving outside,
then the Pope comes in at like some point.
These are children like dressed as angels.
Yeah, there's the Pope.
You can see him on the car.
Is that the real Pope?
No, not the real one.
Oh, that's not the real Pope?
No, no, I don't think.
Oh, it's a fake Pope.
There he is.
Oh, that's not the Pope.
That's Claus Schwab.
Okay, so once they get outside,
so I'm going to go to 3420 here.
Yeah.
This gets a little nuts right here.
So they're climbing this,
they're pretending to climb this rock wall.
That's right.
And then falling and dying.
Another old naked.
Yeah.
And then they all, uh, disrobe here.
At least, dude, you're hung.
Is this the way Switzerland's doing it?
Jesus.
I didn't know Swiss had huge dicks.
So now,
I guess this is,
and they're all in the dust here.
And I have no idea what's going on.
Can you imagine if you were just like,
you know, we're going to some ribbon cutting ceremony.
Okay, here we go.
Now we got the creepy nuns.
Yeah, yeah.
Here we go.
This is, I mean, this is,
this is an 824 movie.
Here we go.
This is worse than 824.
This is, by the way,
it's better than an 824 movie.
Let's be, let's be honest.
Hereditary was shit.
They found some creepy girl.
That's all hereditary was it.
They just found this girl that, you know,
face looked like a tuna sandwich.
I mean, is, I mean,
you know some of the Illuminati people
sitting there going,
okay, this is too much.
We went too far here.
They were like, we said,
we wanted notes of this.
We said, let's touch on the themes lightly.
We were supposed to touch on the themes
of enslaving the human race lightly.
This is a bit heavy handed.
No.
What do you mean?
I'm doing exactly what you asked.
You have people in bug costumes.
You don't think this is a bit heavy handed?
Keep going.
This is crazy.
Okay, so this is the,
this part, this is the kind of gearing up
for the finale here.
Right.
So here comes the goat.
The goat makes a, comes back here.
Yeah, I mean, it's just really confusing.
How many views does this have?
Is this something that's like known?
Did people know about this?
This has only 700,000 views
from six years ago.
Yeah.
2016, yeah.
Yeah.
This is, you know.
And then, so then the finale here
is the goat lady it looks like.
And this is the most watched part,
the most replayed.
Yeah, this one here.
Yeah, right here.
It's like a mural from the Denver airport
came to life.
You're right though.
It's kind of like mid-summer almost.
It's, it's.
Well, this is our whole thing.
Now you have like a goat.
Looks like a trans goat.
Yeah.
And then I'm just going to skip to the finale here
because that part was.
Here's the possibility.
There's two possibilities here.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
There's two possibilities here.
All right.
Number one, this is 100% an Illuminati production.
Number two,
really America is the only country that should ever make
like any type of artistic music or anything.
Like this is like, if this is what they do,
if this wasn't directed by like
Bilderberg child eating serpents,
that's even more disturbing.
Like if this is just what they thought would be good,
if this is them, we've got a bigger problem.
Oh yeah.
So this is the finale.
I think the whole thing they're trying to say,
like time is God.
So they're like, they show the clock there.
You see this clock.
They're all, they're all seeing it count down because it
saves so much time because they can go through the Swiss Alps.
They can go through the tunnel.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
Who can go through the tunnel?
Yeah.
It's like time is God.
And then it goes crazy.
And then this is the big Hurrah at the end.
You see the, the, you can see it go out of the tunnel here.
That's the train of your children.
To be sacrificed.
I like one of them was doing a fortnight dance.
Yes.
You see that one of them was doing a fortnight.
And you see, man, you just can't keep us out of anything.
We'll invade even the Illuminati ritual with our shit.
We just pop up.
All right.
Well, that was nice.
It was all for that tunnel right there.
The goth third tunnel.
Someone who you know, who sends me a lot of things.
I won't say who.
I know who you're talking about.
Sent me that.
And I thought that was interesting.
And I watched it.
And now we've played it on the show.
My friend, the poet laureate of this country, the great Steve will do it.
A man who doesn't say much.
Does he talk really?
Like on the podcast?
Does he say anything?
Not much.
It's more an action.
Sometimes he talks, right?
Yeah.
What does he say?
He sheepishly grins a lot.
Get something up.
He's done.
Okay.
Here's his man cave.
He has a man cave now.
Steve, don't flag our video.
All right, boys.
Oh, here he is.
He's speaking.
Steve will do a video.
I want to say I love you guys so much.
Right now.
He loves everybody all the time.
This guy.
22 Ranger.
And I bought it for Father's Day.
And I was going to give it to the firefighter, but he needed cold hard cash.
So I'm giving this to somebody that likes this video and subscribes to Steve.
Wow.
That's cool.
You know, give it away next week.
Subscribe to Life of Steve.
By the way, folks, this is why you got to support this guy because you might get a car.
Not only is he funny and interesting and the videos they make are always worth watching
because they're insane, but like they like put metal dinosaurs in their house and throw
them off the roof and stuff, whatever the thing is.
They kill people sometimes, but it's all for, but look at what they're doing to give
them people a Ford Explorer.
So here's what we got.
This guy got big just drinking like, you know, bottles of alcohol and not dying.
And now he's like one of the biggest celebrities on the internet and he's actually realizing
that with great power comes great responsibility.
That's something I came up with in my head and that he is now helping a lot of people.
He's giving like degenerate gamblers who lost their children one last chance to subscribe
to a website that's only operational outside of America.
And you know, because here's the deal if you're a degenerate gambler, you're going to win
eventually.
You know what I mean?
That's the thing about winning.
It's going to happen.
So what he's trying to do is he goes to people that have had issues and he tries to help
them by giving them another shot, you know, bet some Ethereum on a college bowl game or
something.
And there's something nice about that.
He also finds kids with cancer all over the place.
I don't know how he does.
Is there a booker?
Is there an agent?
Who's identifying all these kids that are immediately going to die so that this guy can look like
a good person?
Can I get a few baldies?
Can I get a few bald kids here?
Make me look better.
Anyway, whoever's people are good because they keep dragging these dead beats and these bald
head cancer kids.
So this guy can be a good person.
We do love him.
Steve will do it.
So what is this?
What is this channel?
Steve will do it.
Steve will do it.
And he also has that one, the life of Steve.
The life of Steve.
And I think you guys should subscribe to it because let's just go to...
And then...
Look at this.
I gave a kid with cancer the most epic day.
Go to this.
That's awesome.
That's really cool.
This is great.
What is this?
What's the most epic day?
Here we go.
The salsa.
Are they getting the kid drunk with cancer?
Get them fucked up.
Is he getting the kid a hooker?
You know nothing.
Cures leukemia.
Like pussy.
You must be 21 plus to buy and drink happy death.
Okay.
Well, they're not advertising on our show, but they got a free ad now.
A bit of cool shahidi.
And then you get all this free.
What is he doing?
Is that the kid we can't...
Can we get to the cancer kid?
Please.
These videos are like 45 minutes.
What?
What's he doing?
That's assistant.
He gave a...
Maybe the...
Oh, here we go.
What's up, dude?
Am I the only black kid here?
We're saline.
We're saline.
We're saline.
We're saline.
We're saline.
We throw me fried and beetle juice.
You are the only black kid here.
That looks awesome, actually.
No.
Damn, you fucked my...
He looks fine.
Capping?
The kids fine.
Hi.
Okay, I know.
Nice to meet you.
Oh, there's a girl.
Okay.
There's a party.
Good for him.
What is he going to do for kids?
Yeah, nice to meet you.
Paulamarcovalo.
How about a airport.
Let's rent on the helicopter.
Not my airline.
Oh, he takes them on to the helicopter?
If you get so excited...
After?
Oh, he's buying them drafts.
Nice.
Fuck yeah.
And you know what's good about this, by the way?
After they die, the clothes all go right back.
No, he's actually a good guy.
We do like Steve.
He's doing really good stuff.
This is what people on the internet with money should do.
Take these kids out and have fun.
I mean, can we do that?
I mean...
Right?
We tried with the guy at Muscular Dystrophy.
He's a fun guy.
But then his nerves started smoking crack and everything.
I mean, nothing we try to do works.
No, Steve is legitimately a good person.
And this is really good.
And this is really good to think.
So, good to see.
Go to Steve.
We'll do it on YouTube.
He's got almost 5 million subscribers.
Hit him again.
And these are his channels.
These are his channels.
Now, happy dad.
Full senpai.
But we're just plugging Steve's.
So, Steve will do it.
He's one of our favorites.
He paid me in a depreciating asset to do this,
which I appreciate.
But it's coming back, right?
Winklevoss has got double the fucking found.
Oh, it is coming back a little bit.
It's 21.
Jesus Christ.
Anyway, thank you, folks.
How about that?
Timdillicomedy.com.
Where will I be?
I'm going to be at the San Jose Improv...
Sorry, January...
Sorry, January...
July 28th, 29th, and the 30th.
That is where I'll be.
We have five shows.
Tickets are selling out.
On August 7th, I'm going to be at the West Hampton Beach Pack
Performing Arts Center with Ben Avery and Ray Kump.
We're doing a live podcast in Long Island.
Thursday, August 11th, the 12th, and the 13th,
I'm going to be in Salt Lake City, Utah.
And we're going to be at Wise Guys,
one of my favorite clubs, Wise Guys Comedy Club,
doing some stand-up comedy.
So if you want to grab tickets to San Jose or Salt Lake,
that's awesome.
Also, West Hampton Pack.
We're doing a live podcast in the summer in Long Island.
Timdillicomedy.com.
You can grab tickets.
We will also be releasing some merch eventually,
not immediately, but it's coming.
A lot of people ask for some new fake business stuff
and things like that.
We also have some other things being worked on.
We can say we're going to do the specials.
We're going to be out on Netflix sometime in August.
They have paid me a pittance of money,
a very small amount that barely covers the shooting of it.
But they are in trouble.
They're in big trouble.
And they are now playing ball a little bit.
They're going to put it on as is without any content notes,
really.
So that is cool.
So it'll be up there if you want to watch.
We also have more things happening all the time,
which is phenomenal.
Lots of ideas kicking around.
Don't know which ones make the cut and which ones don't.
But we do have interesting things in the works, correct?
Yes.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Working on a book right now.
Tentatively titled The Boomer Guide to Parenting.
Some funny stories about my parents want to kind of release it
before they both die.
Kind of get back at them just petty vindictive book
where I just settle scores with dead people.
Some of the people I'm talking about are dead in the book.
Settling scores with dead people.
Louis CK told me that should be the subtitle of the book.
Settling scores with dead people.
That's great.
Not a bad idea.
Not the worst idea.
In California for a bit, back east.
Thanks to all of our friends at Gast Digital
for letting us use that studio when we are in New York.
The great Louis Gomez, Ralph Sutton, Bobby Hutch and others
support all the things on Gast Digital if you can.
They are a podcast network where I and many other podcasts
have gotten their start and they're good friends of ours.
And we appreciate that.
And this is their website right here.
Gastigitalnetwork.com.
They have a lot of great shows, Legion of Skanks, SDR,
RealS Podcast, Louis J Gomez,
and others Aaron Burgs on their lot of people.
So check that out if you can.
And we will see you either next week
or we'll see you on Patreon every Thursday.