The Tim Dillon Show - 317 - Louis CK

Episode Date: October 2, 2022

Tim Dillon is joined by Louis CK to discuss life, comedy, the metaverse, fake tits, & much more. Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ (Remember, for every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. #TimGivesBack) Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow (Bonus episodes every week) Watch Tim Dillon: A Real Hero streaming now: https://www.netflix.com/watch/81616382 Louis CK Watch Louis CK's new special, Sorry: https://louisck.com/collections/sorry/products/sorry Watch Louis CK's new film, Fourth of July: https://louisck.com/collections/films/products/fourth-of-july See Louis CK on tour all over the US, Scotland, Ireland, England, Australia and New Zealand: https://louisck.com/pages/tickets This Episode Sponsored By: DOORDASH (Get 25% off and zero delivery fees on their first order of $15 or more, when you download the DoorDash app and enter code TIMDILLON. Download the Doordash app and use code TIMDILLON) BABBEL ( For 60% off your subscription go to https://www.babbel.com/tim) KEEPS (To receive your first month of hair treatment for free go to https://www.keeps.com/TimDillon MASTERWORKS (Jump their lengthy waitlist and get priority access at https://masterworks.art/tim) DRAFT KINGS (Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use promo code TIMDILLON to get $200 in free bets if your team wins when you place a five-dollar bet on any football game) If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. New customer offer void in NH/OR/ONT-CA. New customers only. Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 wager. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Opt in req. 1 Stepped Up Same Game Parlay Token issued per eligible game. Min $1 bet. Max bet limits apply. Min. 3-leg. Each leg min. -300 odds, total bet +100 odds or longer. Profit boosted up to 100% (10+ legs for 100% boost). See T&C at sportsbook.draftkings.com/footballterms. ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ 🐦 Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon 🌍 Tim Dillon Live Dates!: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show. We are here with one of the greatest comics, Louis CK. You can go by the movie Fourth of July with Joe List on his website right now. You can get all five seasons of Louis on the website. You can also get all the iconic standup specials in a bundle, I think, for twenty five dollars. That's right. That's cheap. It is right. It's very cheap. Yeah. I would have, I would have.

You would have clicked. I would have hiked it. Yeah. I think I could have, maybe. Yes. But I think that maybe people would have bought less of them. That's a good point. When I when I raise the prices, I sell less of them. That tends to happen. Interesting. And I think over time, it ends up not being more money. Well, you've got to come up with a lie.

Like, you've got to come up and say, these are going away. But that's the thing with digital content. It never goes away. It just sits there. You don't even make it anymore. They just break it. They just clone it and take it for themselves. Yeah. So you can't do like the farewell tour, which a lot of people will go, you know, like shares done it three times. I mean, I'm doing this tour.

I'm on tour now and this tour. I mean, I mean, I don't have the list, but I'm coming to Milwaukee and Atlanta. These are new shows. I promise everything is sold out. Right. But then I'm doing the Madison Square Garden on January 28th. And that's the big one. That's the big one. I'm doing that. And we sold 10,000 tickets the first day. Wow.

And then now it's it's trickling because the seats get shittier and shittier. Right. But at the last email I sent out, I said, this could be my last show. Oh, well, that's good. Yeah. Right. It's not. Absolutely not. Of course not. But it's my last show. If you want, it's be the last opportunity to ever see me on stage. He's dying. It's going to be like the Beatles at Shea Stadium.

Yeah, he's dying. Stage four. I'm just that's my last show. The last show. Yeah. Well, do you ever think of of it when you do the garden? It's going to be such a big deal after the garden. Do you think I'll take a minute? Yeah, who knows? Maybe the maybe the Boston Garden will call me.

Right. The opportunities at the garden opens. Well, you're you know, that is how I think I am going. I'm going to take I didn't take a break between the last tour and this one, the tour that ended with the last special. Sorry. I had shows to make up from the pandemic that were that were scheduled in March and June after the special came out. And I didn't have an act anymore because I had to dump all the material

into this, you know, the special right now. Everybody that comes to see me has usually seen the most recent special. So and they expect new material because that's what I've always done. So I had to write a new act very quickly. I didn't take I took maybe three weeks off and I went right back to work. You went right back out there. Yeah. And that turned that turn out. I did a different process of writing an hour.

How did it differ? I just said, I like said, you have to do this. And instead of letting it flow, I just made it happen. Is it better to have the pressure? In this case, it was because it came out good. But then I had to do it was next thing I know I'm doing shows in Tel Aviv and all that, you know, doing real concerts with a brand new hour. I usually like do more.

But but now it's this hour is like really strong, I think. Do you feel fully back? Like fully back. Yeah. Yeah. Good. I mean, back to what nobody's ever back. It's always forward. It's new. That's a good point. Yeah. OK. I don't have a thing about back in my head. I'm here. You do in the garden.

Yes. I am going back to the garden. That's huge. Yes, I'm really excited. I like that room. It's, you know, in terms of doing stand up comedy, is that a room where you go, this is the pinnacle? No, I mean, to me, honestly, any great show is the pinnacle. So like I've done the garden eight times in my life. And it was important enough to remember that it was eight. I don't know how many times I've been to the amazing funny bone.

I don't know. Right. Many times. But I can't say. But I've done the Columbus funny bone where I've done shows where I'm looking out the window to play in the next day. Going, that was fucking. That was it. That was amazing. That was it. That's what I work for. That's what I wanted. Yeah. That's what I this is what this that was what this is all about. That's why I give a shit. Right.

So a show at the garden is definitely superficially like it's, you know, the 19000 people. Yeah. And it's Madison Square Garden and Ali fought Frazier there. Yeah. I saw, you know, ACDC there when I was quite young and Led Zeppelin. I never saw there, but that's where they played. That's where their concert film takes place. Yeah, that place touches a lot of, you know, sure. It feels like a pinnacle in terms of it's that many people.

It's New York City. It's the premier room. It's also expensive. It's expensive place. Renting it is about four hundred thousand. Something like that. Yeah, I forget to just rent it before it's astronomical. But they know they got you because you want to play the garden. You're going to play the garden. I'm now the new generation is like, I guess the Barclay is just as good.

No, but I mean, I guess, but it is. It's just as many people in Brooklyn. But it's like a better city than Manhattan. Really? Not to me. I love where I live. I agree with you, but I'm talking about it for the young people. Yeah. That go, Brooklyn's the thing. What about the Bronx? When does the Bronx ever, you know what I mean?

Because every area has been gentrified. We've gone into Jersey City, even Harlem, Harlem, everything. But there's something about the Bronx that holds on. Yeah, it holds on. And it just goes, we're never going to be anything but the Bronx. It's going to be tough. Yes. And that's what it is. It's still 1972 in the Bronx.

There's still a lot of Oldsmobiles on the street with graffiti on them. It's a time war. You know, like a guy in a leather jacket carrying a briefcase with the music. Right. Right. You know, and somebody's going to cut it. I'm going to cut you, man. Right. I mean, that's I never go to the Bronx. I've been four times in my life.

Yeah. So we don't know what it's really like. Right. That's a good point. Some of the Bronx is very beautiful, you know, it's Wave Hill. Sure. Yeah. The beautiful areas. Yes. There's green in the Bronx. It's the Bronx to me is the most it's the it's the best example of why a lot of these urban planning things failed.

When you look at these big buildings that they built, where all of all of the, you know, people have to live kind of stacked on top of each other in these very bleak. So but when you say fail, yeah, it depends on what the goal is. That's a great point. So the urban planning was just stick stick as many people as possible into the cheapest possible buildings, right? Get paid by the city subsidies, right?

Because it's not just a simple building contract. Yeah. And make a shit ton of money and put pack all of those people into one small space right out of Manhattan. Right. You know, mission accomplished. Yes. That right. So if that was the goal, yeah, well done. It was. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's exactly right.

But a lot of a lot of great things hip hop came out of the Bronx. Like that that has given us sure good things. Yeah. But unfortunately, at least they got hip hop. Well, it's I mean, yeah, that's it came out of the Bronx. It couldn't have come out of Long Island where I lived. It would never have. Hip hop would have never emerged from Levittown Long Island, which we just did. But now it is. I mean, that's who got rich from that is exactly who got rich.

No. So even in that sense, if you pack a bunch of people way uptown in these shit buildings, right, cost nothing. Yes. Also. Yeah. Their squalor will create music that you will get rich from. That's right. And then eventually they will they'll get a little money, but what you can count on, you will get the lion's share because they'll die. Right. Because it's going to be bad.

Yeah. And you're going to take the money. I'm sure Biggie's mom gets a check. But it's not. But it's not the check that she deserves. You know, Josh. Josh, Josh, Robin gets. He might get a bigger check. He gets a far bigger. Far bigger. Keep coming. I just I bought a Biggie album on iTunes recently.

Yes. I like to listen to him when I'm jogging. Yeah, it's the best. But, you know, his mom, it's not 14 cents. Yeah. Well, those deals are this keeps on working. This thing is keeps on working. Yeah. These three 60 deals that musicians sign, yeah, which is like a deal where they give you an advance and then they recoup the advance and it's designed to keep you in debt.

It's designed to keep you like constantly not earning money. It's designed to keep you like beholden to the record company. That's right. And everything they give you, they you think they're giving you stuff, right? Like they say, hey, guess what, fellas? They go to the band and they say, you're flying in a private plane. And they go, yeah. And then they pay for the private plane.

That's right. Comes out of their fucking record. Yes. And the private plane is a deal that the company has, you know, vertically, yeah, with somebody else. Right. All those bells and whistles are just just horseshit. Yes, you have to look after your your own thing. I mean, I stopped taking advances on the road a long time ago.

It's a stupid thing, right? Because it's they get to call your advance and expense and sort of take it away from you and when they split. Right. Well, I had to give you an advance. Yeah, but where that's what? Right. It's such an easy con. Yeah. That you really and nobody will tell the artist ever. Right. Nobody's going to nobody sits down with you and goes, listen, don't take that Porsche. Yeah, exactly. Right.

Yeah. Or here's where your Porsche is coming from. They have this thing now in the Bronx called Drillwrap. Yeah. So what Drillwrap is, Eric Adam just talked about it. It's it's very it's social media driven beefs with young rappers under 21 young guys and they diss each other on Instagram. And I mean, literally, they'll go outside of someone's project. They go, I'm here like with a gun to be like, I'm right here.

What? Fuck you. Yeah. And and literally it's they go on Instagram live. So Eric Adams is kind of like, maybe we should ban this on Instagram. Like the mayor of New York is like, why don't has it resulted in any killings? Lots of killings. Wow. And the music is is reflective of no, it's literally. But when it's a guy, so a guy, a kid, a kid, a child with a gun with a gun goes, look, I'm outside of the fucking whatever,

you know, great black person projects outside of the whatever it is. And Medgar Evers project. Yes. And come here and I'll kill you. So now everybody's like, oh, shit. If I go to his Instagram, I can see that everybody and then it starts having like the little balloons and the pop up and the yes. Everybody is a little like you see the little faces that starts really going and people have been literally killed.

And then the guy shows up inside of the the Instagram. Yeah. I mean, while he's doing like, I'm going to go. Yeah. Kill my friend. Yeah. And it's and then has this resulted in like this is resulted in live Instagram deaths, a few of them for real for real. I mean, Bobby, you can look this up, but it's resulted in deaths one hundred percent. And there and the DA is now trying to use the rap lyrics as as a way to like convict because some of the rap rap lyrics are so directed like we killed him

on one seventy fifth by the subway yesterday at four p.m. So the DA is going like we're trying to put these rap lyrics out as evidence, right, in addition to other things. But it's some of the rap is very good. I mean, it's very like, you know, it's very like it's it got a whole new sound that it's it comes to the UK has it, too. This is going on in London where it's like social media. You think of all the rap beefs that have happened of people not liking each other.

Now you add social media. Everything happens in like real time. Right. But also it feels like what's needed there. Like when you look at a picture and you go, what's missing? Right. And how do we solve it with what we have today? Right. When you describe what those guys are doing, right? Needed is an app. Yes, that can bring them together more.

Easier. Right. Like a grinder for I'm going to kill you. 100 percent. Like a social media. Like, yeah, like an app, like it's like this. And you go, I don't want to kill it like it. But it's for killing you like you're swiping. Well, because it is on some level, a guy going, I'm out here.

He has a gun. Yes, I'm out here. He's wanting to connect with that person. That's right. He's what I what he really wants is to see him. I think I'm not even being facetious. It's like, no, it's a need to connect. It's all that this always is like when I was. I didn't mind like, I don't know, maybe 19. I was just starting to do comedy.

I had a really fucked up job. I was a moderator on a phone line. This is before the internet. People used to call party lines. I don't know if you used to. I'm trying to remember. I was 19 and you were dead. I was I was probably you.

How old are you? I'm I'm 16. No, I am I am 37. Yeah. So that might have been before you. So a party line was calling up like a party line. Like live girls type thing. It was all it was guys and girls. All OK, it was supposed to be come on the party line.

We're all here hanging out on the phone. Yeah, on the phone. It's a party call up and you hear people talking. And so and then you get you can switch to different rooms, but it's rooms of people like talking on a phone. It's like a chat room, but it was just voices. Wow. It was a nine hundred number. So you were paying money per minute to sit there. And the the point they started saying that it's social.

But obviously, the point is to try to get laid. Right. And the way what would happen is. Because I so I got a job working there. And it's a being an operator, essentially. And you have headphones and a microphone and you have these banks and you see people light up, you see. Oh, there's 10 people in this room, right? And so you go to that room and it's 10 or 12.

Guys and you go in and silence. You see that they're there and there's silence because it's all dudes. And then one light comes on and you hear a girl go, hello. And you hello, hello. Hey, hey, hello. And they all try to talk to her because no girls would want to call. Right. And my part of my job was to try to like move people around so there'd be more of a mix.

But mainly my job was to break up fights and they disconnect guys who were getting aggressive until they would fight each other. Mostly it was just fighting on the party. Hello, hello, hi. Who's there? Hey, dude, shut up. I'm trying to fucking talk to her and they would fight. And then when they would get in a fight, this is in Boston, too. All Boston, Irish people try to lay it on their phone.

Right. In minutes, dollars. So when they got in fights, they'd go, I'm going to fucking kick your ass. I'm going to kick your ass and they'd start yelling at each other and threatening each other. Oh, yeah, where are you? I'll fucking come right where you are right now.

And the guy would be like, I'm in Quincy fucking, fucking homo. The other guy's like, I'll fucking I'm I'm on door chest. That's right. Right. I'll come to fucking Quincy. We're exactly fucking Quincy. Are you I'm on fucking Third Street and whatever. Yeah. Wait a minute. Is that near the quick shop?

He goes, no, what you do? And then they'd come down to make plans. Yeah. What when are you going to be there? I got to I get out of work at seven and they'd make a date. Yeah, to fight to fight to fight over a girl on a party who's been gone for 10 minutes. Yeah. So it's kind of a similar thing now. Now that you just have social media and you're able to broadcast

all your activities. So if you want to go and show up outside somebody's house and say, like, where are you, bitch? You talked all this shit on that record. Yeah. Where are you? Right. And it's becoming kind of, I guess, an issue for the mayor. The mayor has said this is a mayor feels like it's got to we got to put a stop to it.

Yes. Well, I mean, the other thing is there's a lot of gangs. And I always thought what's the I always thought that what's the big deal if a kid's in a gang and hear me out because the way I feel about certain things is that, you know, is there are there no positives to a gang? This is we've we've we talk about gangs like there's no positives to them. There's 100 percent positives to being in a in a gang. Well, to be just to parse what you're saying. You're saying that gangs are 100 percent positive.

No, I'm saying that you're 100 percent certain. Yes, that there's 1 percent positivity. Well, there's got to be. Well, here's the deal. If you live in an area where being in it, it's almost required to be in a gang in certain areas, you go. Now, obviously, if there's negatives to the gang life that we don't even have to mention, because they're obvious, they're seemingly obvious.

You could be a rat, you know, and that's not well, right? If you're a bitch, if if you're. You mean that what could happen to you if you're one of those things? Well, yeah, if you if you can't handle it, like, yeah, it's obviously if you can't handle the gang life, it's bad. There's negative ramifications, but and also every gang life ends in death. Most likely well, some prison and which means another gang. Yes. Yes.

But my whole thing is everybody always goes gangs, gang, you know, like my people, like where I grew up, they're like that gang. So I'm like, what are we offering the kids that isn't a gang? That's my question. Well, because here's what happens. Right. Kids that end up in gangs. OK, so like your mother. And I'm not describing every gang person.

I'm describing somebody I'm making up, right? Your mother is you don't even know you haven't seen her, right? Sometimes you see her on the street, right? She's taking a guy into a building for you to suck his cock. That's right. So that she can get some crack cocaine. Right. So sometimes you see her go, oh, that's I think that's my mom.

That's moms and you're with your friends and you're embarrassed. Right. And they tease you. They go, ha, ha, ha. Your mother sucks a guy's cock for crash. She's stuck in a mom. But the way they tease does. Yeah, like, ha, ha. You look funny.

Right. You know, like, you you listen to Bay City Rollers, you know, but they are like your mom is sucking a guy's cock right there for crash behind the McDonald's. I can see it. And then you'll always have that that feel one fucking loser. You'll always have that one good friend who's like, don't worry about them. Don't worry. Don't worry about it. You know, there's one good mom.

It's not like they're moms. Nobody's that standing there to make fun of that kid. Right. Has a great life. Exactly. So probably they don't much tease each other. Right. Because the guy, the meanest kids, he's that guy's mom, sucking a cock and he goes, I'm going to let that go.

Right. Because I know how that's going to come back. That's mom. Yeah. Because that's my aunt. That's right. That's auntie. Yeah. So that's who that person's mama start there. Yeah. And he lives with his grandma.

Right. Who is just hired at the second dig. So at least there's that she's elderly. Yeah. And she goes to church and it's I mean, like it's like that's the church or whatever. And I'm, by the way, this is like 90s. I don't know anything about people's lives anymore. I don't know anything about anyone's life similar.

And then his dad is a killed his uncle and his those double murders, whatever. Right. People are in prison and it's just and he goes to a school. Where there's no there's just a cop frisks you at the door. Yeah, it's just kids throwing chairs. Yeah, it's just madness. There's no education. Yes. Yeah.

Every day he walks by these gangs and because he's not affiliated. Right. What the fuck? I'm going to kick your ass every time you walk through this neighborhood. That's right. And his friends, all his friends are like, if you just join red, you walk down red streets and you're OK, you're OK. Yes, that will you will be safe if you do that. And we have parties.

We have barbecues. Right. We go out. We we we have fun. There's girl, every girl you want is affiliated or in the gang. Right. And so then you join a gang and you start acting tough. And you start talking about and then you start carrying a weapon. And then the city says, we've got to get rid of these gangs.

Like, like if we get rid of the gangs, right, the kid will be fine. Right. Like, where does he walk back? Like, what are you? OK, gang, everybody go home home to what? Right. Home to what? So that's my that was my whole thing. It's like, listen, we all know that gangs have a lot of negatives. And the problem is there's nothing being offered to these kids outside of that, like outside of that.

Like we have not articulated a vision for a lot of these young kids that doesn't involve joining a gang. Right. That's the issue. Like we can be horrified by gangs and people in the suburbs are. They go, I how I cannot believe it. Well, because it doesn't become it doesn't exist for you until they roll up your street. That's right. Until you try to go to their neighborhood. You go to their neighborhood to buy crack.

Right. Or to get a blowjob from a crack whore. Right. And these gangs bother you. Absolutely. Yeah. So to me, I was always like, obviously, I'm not saying join a gang, but I've always understood that people in certain areas, they feel like it's the best course of action for them. Yeah, sure. You know, there's also those people that do the the the far reaching ideas.

Like, yeah, you know what's a gang? The Republican Party. Like, no, yeah. You know what the real gang is? Yeah, the teachers union. That's right. That's a real game for you. Yeah. Well, I mean, how do you it's hard to clean any of that up? How are you going to?

How do you fix any of that? It's tough. No, I know how to do it. OK. But I don't. It's boring to. No, of course. It's it's it's obvious, but it's boring. Yeah. I'd rather do other things. Yeah. No, I know. It's, you know, what are you going to do?

So like you said, you just kind of watch. I think that there is a quotient. Is that I don't even know what that word means. I use it too much. No, I think you're right. Quotient. Yeah. On a podcast, know this. You're always right.

Yeah, until you have any self doubt. Right. See, what you're experiencing right now is a very old media thing where you go. Did I say the wrong thing? Is that word wrong? That's old media. It's it's old media. What you have to adapt to now is that you're creating reality every time you utter something.

Oh, great. OK. Yeah. So, you know, 40 percent. Yes, it's great. There's a quotient of human suffering that's just always there. So you can you can squeeze the balloon here and it pops up here. And it's just I mean, the thing is, as long as you have a world where people want more than they can hold in their hands. That's a problem there.

You're going to have this problem. That's I mean, it's so basic. It goes to the most basic thing that if you don't get rid of it. Right. You're not going to solve anything. And should you what the words the words solve and goal and failure? Yeah. Are all relative.

Right. To what you value and what you don't, you know. Right. So if you like a world where some people can be not only rich, but just like have four things. Right. That you don't know where they are. Right.

If you own things that you're not holding like this. Yeah. You're part of the problem. Right. If you view those as problems. Right. The reason there are gangs and murder is because I have some stuff that's behind the locked door and I depend on a whole system to keep.

That's right. People from just going in there. But if you didn't need those, if you didn't need to have, and I don't, again, I don't mean, I mean, the wealthy obviously is an acute example of it. Yeah. I don't know where human beings got this urge to have more than just a little thing of food and, you know what I mean, a roof, a food, you know, a tool to make food with, you know.

But that's the stem. That's all the problems stem all of them. Because if you don't, if you just need what you really just need sustenance and a little pleasure from the sky and the nature, then you need someone to look after shit for you. You need to convince someone else that it's a good idea for them to protect your stuff, the stuff that you're not, while you're sleeping or stuff that you can't look at, do you know what I mean?

And that creates, that creates a system of like people willing to harm each other for somebody else's money. Right. Yeah. And the only way you do that is by convincing them something like, well, they're from the other team or they're the other religion or they're not really bad people, that kind of thing. So, but once you, human skills are learned for one thing and then apply to

a bunch of other ones, so we learn the skill of like, get other people to protect my stuff for this and that reason and get, talk people into hurting each other, which isn't natural. Right. Um, and then once you've done that, you can transfer that to many things like let's make a whole country. Let's annex a country. Let's do this.

Let's do this. Let's do that. And then you have people, if you fast forward, you don't have people in the Soviet Union, not the, I'm sorry, Russia, breaking their arms, trying to avoid a conscription, a draft. Right. And then the government says, well, now you're a one-armed soldier, you fucking dummy. You shouldn't have done that because now you're going to have even a harder time.

Now you're out there because people in Russia now are going, hey, we don't want to do this. This is your thing. You know what's weird is we're not in that war. That's Russia versus Ukraine, right? That's right. We're funding Ukraine. We're obsessed with it, but we're not even in it.

We're not in it, but we're giving the money as far away from us as you can get award, we're giving the money and we are giving them weapons. Yes. But you know, then I ran. Yeah. Like if you look on CNN.com right now, it's Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump. Yeah. Always.

Uh, Marjorie Greene. Are you playing a person? What the fuck is that she's got four stories. She's getting a divorce. Brett Favre, you and him, they go after Herschel Walker once in a while. Like let's just bring up another. Hey, we just found out that Herschel Walker's didn't shave well this morning. They just, that's what's on CNN.com and the weather and whatever.

Yeah. I'm not saying the weather about Tampa. Right. That's CNN.com right now. I, I ran as like a central problem to American history going back since I was alive. Yeah. They're having a fucking revolution right now. Like they're having, there's people.

There's freedom fighters in Iran being like mowed down and they're still, they're just going, fuck you. We're going to do this. Right. And they're fighting for a general sense of freedom against this regime that we've been like saying is like they feed weapons to the Russians, evil, the evil Iranians who are, and we conflate them with it. They're not even Arabs.

They're not anything that anyone thinks they are. Right. Uh, the thing that the Iran's problem with us was that we really fucked with them for years, for years. So they got rid of our guys and they just said, all Iran has really ever said to us is just leave us the fuck alone. Yeah. Get away from us.

They've never invaded us. Yeah. But anyway, yes. So let's say they're the biggest problem in the world. There's people there just like walking in the streets with no weapons, just trying to get rights now. Like there's a huge thing here, really cares. No one gives a shit.

No one cares. It's not on CNN.com. No, it's not on the whole. If you scroll down, you get to like, you know, here's a surprising picture of Lindsay Wagner, right, the, the brianic woman. Right. You know, she looks like shit now. Right.

I mean, I've seen it's on Instagram. I was, I once went on politico.com. Yeah, you have to take some responsibility for the banner ad right above your name. Right. It says politico. Yeah. And above it, it says the woman from Crocodile Dundee is disgusting now. That's what it said.

She's disgusting now. I was like, wow, okay, politico, why don't I get to believe that politico, they sold that space and said, Hey, if you want politico to sponsor your idea, give us money. Right. And that idea was that girl is disgusting now. She's disgusting. Disgusting. That was the word used.

I remember that very well. But so that's what's important to those people. But there's an actual thing. I this Iran is like a huge, huge thing. But it's on Instagram. Like you go on Instagram and you see that there's Persian because I'm in LA. So in LA, everybody has relatives in Iran. So everybody is posting on Instagram.

Like, please talk about this. Yeah. Use your platform, amplify the voices. But no one, no one, no one cares that shirt. What is that? Is that like, yeah, terrorists? What is Iran? Right.

And I share the post of it. Like I shared a post on my story. I don't know what that did, but like, you know, there was a woman that got killed there and I, I don't know the morality police or the virtuous police, whatever they are, killed a woman. Right. And then the progressive people, the woke people killed her. No, the, you know, the, the Iranian guard, they call their morality.

They have one there, too. They have one there. But it's different for, yeah, it's what ours wants to be. Right. Where they actually, that's why there's, they're going like, hey, don't write. Maybe that's why they're not into it. Well, the other thing is like attacking Iran because they, they're like, we actually, we want to do that.

Yeah. Well, the other thing is just like in, in Putin's such a great villain. Yeah, he's just, he's just a Hollywood villain. Yes. The KGB kills his friends, white guy, white man, heterosexual, white man, beautiful villain. Yeah. And now the Iranian molas are, are less a trend.

They have an old religion and they're people of color and they've been and we fucked and letaled in that country and we overthrew and the shah, the whole thing. So they're, it's tougher to kind of aren't the Kardashians, Kardashians. They're Armenian, I believe. Armenian. They're Armenian. So close to the word Iranian. Yeah.

Well, they're related. They should care. They, they should. And they might do a post. They should be like, okay, we're not Iranian, but we're Armenian. That sounds like it. So please help. Please help.

Well, there's also, there's not much to do. It's the way I felt about Ukraine when it happened was I was like, hey, well, there's nothing you can do about any of these things. It's not our fucking business. It's not our business. But if you're going to have a news website, you should mention a huge piece of news, talk about it. But I mean, in Iran, Iran, Iran.

Yes. I've always been fascinated by it. Yeah. They make beautiful movies. Yes. There is a film there. I think it's called Cherry Tree or Sweet Cherry or something like that. And it's about a guy, I saw it years ago on VHS.

It's about a guy driving around town as he wants to kill himself, but it's a sin. He can't do it. So he's driving around town asking people to kill him. And it's just that it's like in real time. And it's a heartbreaking, beautiful, beautiful movie. Right. There's another movie from there called The Separation.

That's actually was made an international noise. Yeah. That guy still makes films, I think it's about an Iranian couple breaking up and raising their daughter separately. And it's in the trappings of their war, their culture and their traditions, but it's really just, it's just a, like there's a scene where the dad is with his daughters, like 14. Yeah.

And they stopped to get gas. And it's a very beautifully shot movie. You see the guy and he tells his daughter, um, the guy just pumped the gas and he says, pay the guy and he gives her money. And she goes, how do I, she's never done that before. And he goes, just go give him the money and get the change. And then you see him in the mirror. He's watching his daughter negotiate a simple thing.

And he just has this smile on his face because he knows he sees her doing something growing up. Right. That's such a moment of, right. When I saw that, I was like, I didn't need that to tell me, but it's like, there's no difference between me and New York city, you know, right? Divorce dad and an Iranian dad. Cause we're, we're sold this idea that it's all the world.

Yeah, it's not beautiful culture. Right. And, uh, so they have, I mean, we, there's, we never give a shit about the actual freedom fighters. Like, you don't hear much about the Hong Kong folks. No, no, no, no, no, we don't, we don't really want, I don't even think we want freedom here. Really?

No, I think what we want is this illusion of it and the illusion that it is or the top of our list. Like, well, you're saying we, and that's the thing is, it's amazing thing about this version of like this thing, this, this social media, this not weird thing is that everyone identifies with it and says they use words like everybody and we, and we were, why is everything like this? It's not, right? Barely anything.

This is how I feel about social media is that like everyone calls it everybody. Right. Like it's always like, you know, John Travolta said this and everyone got mad. That's always the story. The first of all, they're not everyone. Right. They're not even a lot of people. Right.

They're not even most people. They're not even their whole selves. Right. There's no whole person. Right. On Twitter. None. Or Instagram or, uh, or on the media, because those are just giant

Twitters, those are just long tweets. Yeah. There's no whole person on Twitter. It's a fraction of a bunch of different people that adds up to, uh, a large number of fractions that doesn't represent any whole person. Right. It like, if you cut a bunch of the dog's heads off and put them in a pile, you wouldn't say that adds up to like 50 dogs, you understand?

It's just their heads. It's just their heads. And in this case, it's just their assholes. It's just their, it's just their fucking period. It's just the worst part of ourselves. Yeah. Of them, of not even all, I'm not on Twitter. Most people aren't.

Almost nobody is on fucking Twitter. And even the people that aren't, aren't actually holy there. That's why they wake up in the morning and look at their own tweets and go, yeah, I love doing this podcast. I love talking to you guys 14 years ago in 2008. I was a mortgage security salesman. Can you believe that? That's not true.

I sold retail mortgages, but they don't know that who wrote the copy. Whatever. What's interesting is how at this point in our society, going back seems impossible, meaning that the thing that has been created seems to be the thing that is going to be either what drives us into extinction. But it doesn't ever feel like people are going to say, wait a minute, this on the whole is overtly negative. And that the, you know, like everything about it, like every single thing about it

is overtly negative. And yes, there are positives just, but, but I mean, it's like I could, I could show more positives for being in a gang than Twitter. And it's not even close. Right. So it, but it does feel like everybody's so invested in it. And it's taken over the world so quickly that it's just, you know, the people that are going to opt out are going to be, you know, just kind of

like they're going to be Luddites. They're going to be people that are kind of off the grid and they're not going to really, you know, they're not going to be able to participate in society because this, you know, in order to participate now in any societal function, you have to be on the grid. So when all, if you're on the, yes, it's true, you can't even listen to a piece of music, you can't without a credit card, without a membership to the most elite club of the American economy.

That's right. You can't eat. When I was a kid, a credit card was a special thing. Yeah. And you paid for things with cash and checks. And you would sometimes have a credit card, but it was hard to get. And you had to sign up and beat. You had to have accreditation.

Yeah. You have to be approved. You had to have your shit together. Right. That's still the case. Right. Or you have to be, find an entity that's willing to just like gouge you for, you know, for how much debt you take on, you know, the debt

that people have to go, you can't exist without debt. No, you can't go like, I don't like credit cards. I just want to, I want to pay for what I have and I don't want to have to be in debt. You must be in. You have to create a open debt with a huge corporate entity that outweighs you in every way in order to listen to some tunes in order to just smoke a joint and listen to a song. Yes. Like that's, and in order to get a job now, you have to have all these, you know,

profiles, they search your social media profile. That's right. This is something that, you know, in order to be, you know, when you are applied to college, they search these things when you are. So you are recording all the mistakes you make from when you're 13 kids. You're not telling them when they start this stuff. Right. That this is what's happening against you.

Potentially. I mean, that's look, this is, it's very delicious. Yeah. To describe how horrible all this is, right? Because you can go on and on in so many directions. Right. I do think on some level, it'll just go, it'll just sort of like become something else. Interesting.

I have four nephews. Yeah. That are from like, I mean, my sisters would be aghast at how little I know about these boys or their, their ages. But they're, they exist. I'm going to say they're between 14 to 21. Okay. So they're like really the next people.

Yeah. And they kind of get, get it. Right. They, I have daughters too, but I don't want to talk about them. That's personal. Sure. My nephews, I don't care. Right.

But they, where should you? Yeah, they get that they have ways around shit they hide in different places on the internet. Well, what's actually encouraging to see is that kids now post less. So it's cringey to have a lot of photos on Instagram. It is. Like a little, my little cousin goes, your Instagram's cringe because you have all of these photos.

And I go, that's my career. Yeah. He goes, yeah, but I have three photos. He goes, so he goes, I get it that you're a comedian. You have to do that. But I just have three photos. Like two, one of them's a night sky, one of them's like a skateboard and one of them's like a blur, a blurry face that you can't even tell is his.

But it is cool. And that's cool because if he was like dressing grungy, yes, he goes, if I post it every day, I would, it would look thirsty and hungry and good. That's so he goes, I stay away from that. And that's all people in his generation are doing that. Hopefully that opens the door. I mean, I think that's where it's headed. It's like, we're like, what is going to happen?

Mystery is cool again. Yes, that's right. Mystique, mystique. That's what ruined our generation of famous people and artists. Yes, there's no mistake. Look, right. And it's so many images of the same person over and over and over and over again. I wanted to ask you about the teacher and I want Bobby to get this picture up.

There's a teacher in Canada who's a trans teacher with the giant hits. Yes, it's like everybody's the same fucking stories, everybody. It's the same giant hits. Yes. What I mean, what is she doing in that classroom? Well, no, I mean, it's the same thing. I think last week it was the LA school system saying the food is and your bid on it was hysterically funny. Yeah, thank you.

But the thing and I listened to your bid, I just laughed and laughed about let's tell kids that all the foods are the same. Why not? No difference between the food. Sure, it was the best take on it. I owe it. Thank you. But that thing, which is just somebody. Yeah, who works at LA Unified went like this.

Right. And then kaplowee. Yes. And so then there was I listened to some other podcasts that I actually like, but it was a very serious discussion. Now, do we need this? Yeah. And every it goes around the bases and everybody takes a turn. Well, so now it's like, who's got to take on the giant? It's just so big.

Yes, I think I could ignore the story if they weren't that big. They're so massively big that this person wants you to discuss it. Yeah, but she doesn't need the whole planet Earth to discuss it. You don't get tits that big. If you don't think everybody you want to be able to see seen from space. She wants. There's no way when getting these tits. I know, man, but people have a right to be fucking stupid.

Yes, people have. This is the problem right now is there's no local stupidity. Yes, that's a good point. Localized stupidity. Yeah, like there was the woman in somewhere. Also Canada is stupid. It all leaks out. It's global.

If you do something stupid, you are going to fucking die from shame. Right, because the entire is going to be Joy Reid. Right. And eventually Putin. Right. We'll say that they shouldn't have let that woman in the past. Big tits, it will get that's how he's motivating his army. No one gets to just be like, you know, this is just the same as like fucking. There's no coffee shop down the street.

Right. It's just Starbucks. It doesn't matter where you are. Right. So it's not like, you know what I like about, you know, or whatever, fucking Eugene, Oregon is that coffee place I used to go. No, it's right. You know what I like about Eugene, Oregon? The same thing as the airport in Cincinnati. Yeah, it's just the Starbucks.

Yeah. So no one gets to have a little local culture with the, you know, there's that weird person down there, you know, like that woman who was like the NA NAACP chapter head, who was white, white. Yeah, Rachel Dolezal. Yeah. See, you know her name. And then she should have, she should have been able. Yeah.

I'm not chastising you for knowing your name. You're the only, you're the only end user that's worth while for any of this. Right. Right. But that woman should have been able to be weird in that chapter. I said, let Alec Baldwin's wife pretend to be Spanish. I said, let her pretend to be black. No, sure. Yeah. Her name's hilarious.

She's she's pretending to be a rich Spanish lady. She's not larping as a maid. She's not on all fours. She's not cleaning floors. She's she's pretending to be a rich Spanish. Do you know the difference between a rich Brazilian woman and a rich Jewish woman? Not that much difference. So I was like, just let her put on an accent.

She just wants to have an affectation. She wants to see, you know, she goes to these parties, these rich white cons every day. She wants to be a little different. She wants to stand out and her husband's Alec fucking Baldwin. He just dominates all the news. So like just for her to be like, OK, just just for something for somebody to go and where are you? Oh, where are you from? And she goes, you know, Seville, it's just something fun for her.

Sure. Yeah. And also she wants to be international. That's right. She married a man who's an international celebrity and, you know, gun the guy. So I mean, and I so I always I'm for letting everyone pretend to be everything. Yes, but you then you have folks like the kids in a in in Wisconsin. I think it was. Yeah. Who were taking a class picture and somebody said, do it.

Nazi salutes. Yes. And they're just their kids on the planet Earth in the middle of Wisconsin with a lot of empty space around them. Yes. In and they are living in a town that doesn't benefit from a global community. Right. Just in a little place. They're in a little town and they want to make a dumb. They want to make a dumb joke.

Yes. And they do the Nazi salutes. Go ahead and like freeze frame this. And meme. I knew it. He's a Nazi. Go ahead. Right. I can take it. You can take it. But those young kids, they're just what it, you know, yeah, God, the shit you said when you're in junior high school. Yeah. And then somebody would throw up and there it is.

Throw up a seat. Oh, that we're doing it. Yeah. Now we're fucking let's give that another. All they they're all everyone in that picture was like, thank God, that died down. And now we're bringing it back. It's a nightmare. It's a never ending nightmare. It's in. I mean, comedy is a terrible part of the cycle. Well, it's a terrible part. But these kids and then it's like, and then fucking people

from fucking a Simon reason fall. Yeah. Going, you know, or whoever the fuck. Yeah. They're like, it's like Auschwitz all over again. It's just like this is. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, come on, let them do a dumb thing over there. Yes. Yeah. Well, it's what you you really hit on it. Brilliantly with that term localized stupidity. Yeah, that doesn't exist.

And the idea that people need to be stupid in their local town and they need to have somebody go, hey, you're an idiot. And it doesn't need to be national news. And it doesn't need to be in cultural moment or international news. No, it just needs to be something that's kind of quickly forgotten. Right. But what's not going to stop any of that? Yeah. Is that there's profit in it? That's right.

Do you ever walk in your house and there's junk mail on the floor, like 10 cent sales? Now they sent to a business manager. But yeah, but it exists. Of course. I still get junk mail. Right. With a little window in the envelope with plastic in it. Yeah. Then there's they put some in the window that makes you that looks like a dollar or something. Right.

The idea, I mean, junk mail, physical junk mail work to take to to get in on the on the scam. Yeah. To be suckered. Yeah. You have to open it and fill it in and send it in. They might make 10 cents a month. Right. But it's worth it. It's worth it. It's worth it. It's a little more than they're spending. And so as long as that's and then the internet, there's no physical.

You just go like, yeah, fucking, you know, and the trick with the media is just to put a question mark, you know, just like this scandal. You know, Robin Williams was actually murdered by Sean Penn. Right. Question. This gets you out of the liability. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe. Yeah. We don't know. Somewhere in the somewhere in the story. You bury the absolutely not didn't happen.

But people go, huh, as long as that'll make 10 cents. Right. They'll do it. There's always a profit motive that, you know, yeah, like going back to Iran for a moment, the last time I ran was a big thing for us was in 1980, when there was the hostages, right? Yeah. The Shah of Iran, nobody remembers this. These, you know, you all think that, you know, Paul Simon was in the Beatles, so you're not going to know what I'm talking about. Right.

But there was the Shah of Iran was a puppet dictator that we was a direct employee of the United States. That's right. And he was ejected by the Ayatollah and by the Iranians, because he was putting incredible suffering on the Iranian people. Just American paid for suffering. I don't remember why we made money doing this. Yeah. Maybe they because they had oil, I don't know. But anyway, when he, so then there was this thing with the Ayatollah

and then everyone was, they were, they took hostages. So we were expelling Iranians out of the country. We were throwing some Iranians out of the country. And my mom and my dad, we lived in Massachusetts then. And my mom was at MIT learning computers. And she knew this guy who in Cambridge, he knew a bunch of that. There was, he just was this guy who reminded me of you a little bit, that he's just a guy who gets, he's got his capitalism.

He's right there. You know what I mean? Right. So he figured out that there's Iranian families all over Cambridge that are needing to leave this week. Right. And they all bought their kids transams. They all bought their kids that 1978 Black Transam with a gold eagle that was Bert Reynolds's car. Right. In Smoky and the Bandit. Yeah. And so he knew that there was all these.

So he went around to the houses of people like frantically packing and said, how much for your transam? And he bought like 50 transams that were brand new for nothing. Put them all on a lot. He bought a, he bought a used car lot for like a week and just moved them. Made it fortune. Yeah. So as long as people are making money on that, you're just not going to stop it. Yeah. It was a great analogy.

But that's why that's why the woman with the big tits is just paying off like a slot machine and she's just being drilled into it. I mean, either that or maybe she's like, maybe she's flourishing. Maybe it feels good. I don't know. But I have, but I have a feeling it's really not fun for her and for the kids in her class and for the teachers and the school and all the local people. See, this is good because I never think about it. I never think about it like that.

Yeah. So that's what I mean, if you're going to, if you go after, you know, fucking share for her, the new lip or whatever the fuck. It's a different thing. I agree. But there's there's a, I'm not even saying you shouldn't do it. No, no, no, no, no, no, I enjoy listening to you. No, I understand. But there's a certain thing that now there is a new social contract whether people like it or not.

And I think there's a lot of things to not like about it. We've illustrated a thousand of them. But there is a new social contract where if you get tits that are bigger than anything that anyone has ever seen. And you teach in a school where you're in a shop class, you teach shop, you solder things together, these tits. You know, my shop teacher's name was Mr. Swinofsky. He was a creepy old guy.

And this is what every shop teacher should be. He was a creepy old dude who never smiled and would just make a face when we were doing something because we were never doing the right thing. And he just cared about soldering irons and heating them up and just making sure that the little dumb rods that, you know, and we put together these little things that were meant nothing. And none of these skills mean anything because you hire someone anyway. It's one of it's the least valuable position in a school.

And you know that because everything you do is fake. Nobody in shop class goes, you know what? I want to be an architect. It never happens. What happens is like you just make little bullshit things all day. And then these kids just and you just try kids. The only thing in shop is don't hurt yourself. It's the only thing in shop class.

Just don't kill yourself. Don't hurt yourself. Please don't embarrass me. Don't go to the nurse. We don't want any accidents. In fact, the first three days of shop are him telling you about all the horrible things that have happened to other kids. It didn't listen that talk during the safety precaution.

This guy burned his hand. This guy can't use his pinky. Everything's fucked. And it's such a horrible job. It's a bad job. It's not even like biology where at least you can go like they need to know this. It's nothing. And then this woman goes and says, I'm going to get the biggest tip that

anyone has ever seen. Not big tits. I'm talking about the cartoon is the biggest to the point where it literally I have to now stand back a foot and a half from the saw. Yeah, when I'm teaching the kids because these tits now are in between the kids. And these shop bullshit things. And it's so cartoonish that she waddles around this room with the big, big tits. And then she's and we should be allowed to laugh at her because she's done

a ridiculous thing. She's done a ridiculous thing. But I get I get why a trans person would like shop class because it's like we're building things, right? Everything can be built. Yeah, sure. Kids. Everything can be built. Nothing's everything can be soldered.

Yeah, I get it. I totally get it. If I was trans, I would a class like that. To me, I'd go, this is good. I don't want to teach biology. Right. I want to teach. Look what we can build. Right.

But it's just when you do it with such cartoonishly big tits, then the world should have at the world should because you want it. You want it if. So here's what here's what here's what just happened that I really enjoy. Yeah, I'd like to just observe. Sure. So the whole time that I was making the point about localized stupidity. Yeah, the whole time.

And I remember the remember the last few minutes this. Yeah, it's like we were sitting in this car that you're sitting there. You're just ready to go and the engine's going blip, blip, blip, blip, blip, blip. And I'm going like, we don't need to do this to people. Yeah, it's too much. It's over over proportioned and you're going, uh-huh. Are you done? Okay.

And then you went, you just went this. And then you just did a big bit about this lady because she it needs to happen. Yeah. In fact, what I've viewed comedy as is this weird, like, you know, these dumb cunts who walk around houses in LA with sage burning and they go, I'm like getting rid of the energy so the house will sell or whatever. Right. Oh, yeah.

This is what comedy is to me in a weird way. We need to kind of like, there needs to be a moment where everybody laughs at these big tits. Yes. And then we can all look, I can, I could get with that on some level. You've got back-to-back meetings, Aaron's to run chores to take care of what's the secret to clearing your to-do list. Can you show the tits, Bobby?

What happens? Bobby, show the goddamn tits because it without the tits, it's I could tell, like, this woman did not get those tits to be ignored. She did not get those tits. No, but she's got, OK, put it away. She has a body dysmorphia. Yeah, but you didn't. She didn't want to be on the Tim Dillon show.

Oh, I don't know about that. She didn't want to be on the Tim Dillon show. I don't know about that, man. Those tits there, you can't, you get those to be ignored. Not by, yeah, by the, it's not the point. The point is you got some tells you that that's what you need. I don't know, but it's a very internal thing. It's not.

I want to be on the Tim Dillon show external thing. Yeah. Well, it manifests externally. Yeah. It's a very external thing to, I mean, I get what you mean. And I'm not, I'm not saying she shouldn't be. No, listen, here's the problem is that once things float up to the comedy, yeah, I get it.

And I have, again, my issue is not with you. No, of course, it really isn't. Well, of course, of course, about yourself. No, of course, of course. No, it couldn't be me. I mean, what I believe about comedy is that there is no moral arrow in comedy. There's no moral up or down. There's no moral gravity in comedy.

That's what we do. And yes, I do think that on some level, it's like you're saging out all the serious shit that got said about her. Yes. And people, I'm sure, got really angry on both sides, well, both sides, the left and the right tip. Any of the sides. Yeah.

And either tit. Either one. But I had, I just like to tell you a story about Sage because I was once home and this woman, I get a knock on my door. Yeah. And it's the woman says, hey, I'm from next door. The househouse next door had sold recently. Right.

She said, I'm from next door. And I was wondering if I could borrow a pot and a wooden spoon. If you have that. And I said, I do. I said, it's so nice to have you in the neighborhood. Right. She went like, uh-huh. Like, looks weird.

Right. I said, do you need anything else? Salt or paprika or something? Right. And she said, no, just a pot and a spoon. And I gave them to her and then she came back about two hours later and said, and gave them back to me. Thank you.

And she was a little standoffish and she left. And then about a month later, I get it. I see them all move it in. I get knocked on the door, a different woman. She says, Hey, I'm your next door neighbor. I just want to say hi. I said, you guys came here to get a pot and a spoon. And she said, oh, that was a woman I hired to get evil spirits out of the house.

Right. So she took a pot from me and used the spoon to get evil spirits into the pot and then gave it to me. I love belief systems because I love the idea. Just think of that evil spirit, just a coupling of words. Evil spirit will just go, oh, I don't like that herb. Like I'm out. Like if you're an evil spirit, Sage will do it.

That to me has always been shocking, like what people believe. That's interesting. Yeah. Like if you're an evil spirit and you're trapped in this house, yeah, they're just some sage and you go, I can't. I know I'm an evil spirit who's trapped here because I was murdered in the basement. Yes. But if you, if you like sage on fire, I'm out of here.

It's just a thing. It's for your mind, I think, just to see you feel better about it. Before we get out of here, there's an article about people, the overpopulation is going to be concerned, going to be fixed by metaverse children. This is a thing where people are going to have children in the metaverse. Oh, because they're not actually there. They're not real. And I, and I wanted to get, get your.

I think anybody who believes that, yeah, should absolutely have a metaverse child instead of a physical child. That's right. I think that we should end the DNA strand that believes that. Yes. I mean, those, there's those people that, you know, there's that thing where they're all trying to get in the mainframe. Yes.

And live forever. Yeah. Please do, please do. Please all of you. Yeah. Please upload yourselves. Yeah. They've already started it with meta is a place that they're creating.

Right. So they can go to it and live forever. Right. And by the way, when you get canceled now. Yeah, you just, you can live in your home and feel okay. Right. But in meta, it's going to be purgatory. It's going to be, they'll actually send you to hell.

What's interesting is you could go to a metaverse. Yeah, that they'll, they're going to make a hell of metaverse. The idea of them damning you. Well, that every day, because when you're, once you're in metaverse, once that really becomes existence, right, you're going to have to defend yourself there. You're going to have to earn every day that you belong. That's a great point. All of this mechanism of looking into everything you've said and thought.

Right. Is going to be used to weigh where you belong in the metaverse. Do you think that they're really going to create a metaverse without a hierarchy, without a system of, hmm, you, I don't know. Right. And what happens to you in that meta? Well, you get a lot, you, they put, they have a room for the folks. There's not going to be a metaverse without justice.

No, of course not. So then all of this, all of this, that's what all of this is practice for. Interesting. All of this stuff that we're, that they are doing now for small parts of people. Right. They're, they're, and maybe it's a sage-like thing. They're getting it all into the thing, into the main frame. And we can let all that go.

How beautiful that would that be? And then we're just left with people walking in the streets. That would be amazing. Just don't who you are actually using their whole personalities. Because the thing about clickbait, cancel, all this tweeting is that it finds sectors of your person, right? Right. I was talking about this on another thing once, that when you watch a movie with your

whole self, you take your entire body to a movie and you put your phone down and you sit there and you watch a film or a comedian or whatever. Your whole self takes in the movie, right? Right. Your whole self isn't going to like it. There's parts of you that are going to feel good. There's parts of you that are going to feel angry. There's parts of you that are going to, you're going to have a mixed reaction

because you're using your entire multifaceted human spirit. Right. And that's going to create conflict in you. I don't know how I feel about that movie. You talk to your friend about it afterwards. You go, I don't like that he did that at the end. You know what I mean? But I liked it.

I don't know. That's a rich experience. Right. But it's very rare. And for filmmakers and for studios, it's hard to know what thing is going to end up with an aggregate positive. You know what I mean? Right.

But if you tickle one part of somebody, you know, this is what you think right and wrong is, this is what gets you off sexually. This these little parts of you, that's a direct fucking touch. That's like, yes, it's like a drug. So I go, and you react to it and it'll just keep getting more and more and more. And you'll just keep wanting that more and more and more and more. So that's the anger towards other people. All these things, a hate and a viral this and that.

It's just touching little parts of each person. And you don't have to appeal to them. That's why everything's fragmented. Why no news shows the big picture and no news story is really about here's what's happening in Iran. That's a big, big story, big story of wide ranging for a long time. Now this might there's an opportunity in Iran for them to be like a cultured and complex nation that we might actually be friends with.

Right. And why isn't, you know, like I saw Joe Biden say, American arms are flowing into the Ukraine as I speak. I saw him say that proudly. And I was like flowing, flowing, flowing as I speak. He said that in Belgium when I was in Europe. And you know, if there's a shooting war and you send in, you flow arms into it, more people get killed.

That's right. More people die. Yeah. So and I know that the young progressive kids that have like the little Ukrainian flag on their, on their ID are very comfortable with dead Russian soldiers. Right. With the charred face. Yeah, they don't care.

Loaded body. Yeah. Like stuck like coming out of a tank. Right. Like, you know, you, you know, it's right. Go us, you know, whatever, fine. But, but some effort to not just say out loud, somebody, Biden, anybody. Yeah, I wish them well.

I hope, you know, at least do what Trump used to do for people. I wish them luck. I love it. Yeah, I wish them well. The Iranian folks that are putting their, I wish them luck. Yeah. And I don't, I don't know anything about it. You know, it's not our job.

No, it's not our job. It's our job to shit on all of it and make fun of it. And also just as Americans too, it's like we can sit it out. We have a disease in this country where you can't. That's Ralph. He owns the studio. I don't care because he were here. He came.

What he does is he came to take a photo of this and he's going to go back. And you see, you see why I know. And because his account is going to, he's been losing money for three years. He's going to go, this Louis C.K. The account is going to go, Ralph, I'm telling you right now, we're in the, we're going to die here. You know, a picture of me is not a good proof of concept. I beg to differ.

I beg to differ. It is in this world. But no, I, I, everybody should go see you at your last show. Yes. At Madison Square Garden. Also, I'm at Wembley Arena in London Christ. I'm at Wembley and this one I need to sell tickets to. They're not buying them.

They sell them in you got free Wembley Arena. Yes. In London, October 4th, this coming fucking Tuesday. That's amazing. And the night before I'm at the Hammersmith Apollo, that's sold out. That's been sold out for ages. It's amazing. Wembley, there's still, I think, 6,000 tickets available for Wembley.

If you are one of 6,000 people in the UK, you got to go to the show, go to this show and Wembley, what are you going to do? I'm going to do something shocking at that show. He's going to do something shocking. I'm going to do something. I don't want to telegraph it, of course, but I might commit suicide at that show. Wembley, but still buy tickets to the garden. Think about the ad rev that you will get on a picture of Louis CK committing suicide.

Yes. Think about that. Because we restrict the call. We restrict the phones. Yes. I mean, we don't put them in the session anymore. I don't do that anymore. Okay.

I just, we tell them, don't take it out. But during your suicide, his live suicide, what I'm saying is that if you get a picture, yeah, you'll be one of the few because we are stopping people. So that'd be worth a lot of money. It's worth a lot of money. Please come to Wembley Arena. Also, I'm coming to Milwaukee. I'm coming to Atlanta, New Orleans.

I'm thinking of places that haven't sold out yet. Nashville. I'm playing the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville. No, October, November, December 14th. And I'm in Pittsburgh at a place coming to Pittsburgh. And all those fucking, all those fucking places. And you can go on my website, buy all seven specials for $25. It's the best deal.

You can buy my new movie, Fourth of July. Yeah. And the series Louis that I made. The best. It's not on anywhere but my website. So it's exclusive. I got it. Exclusive.

They took it off of Amazon and off of Apple and they gave it to me exclusively. Right. And the reason I asked them to do that was so that I could set a price that those people wouldn't have because you have to always be the same price. Yes. To have like competitive parody or whatever. Right. So you only pay 30 bucks.

You get all five seasons and you can stream them for the next five years. And that and Bobby Kelly made a special that I directed. I saw an hour. It's the best. It's called You're Lying and I appreciate that. No, no, no, I saw it. He did it in a bar in Texas. OK, I thought you were just saying you saw it.

No, he's did it in a bar in fucking Round Rock, Texas. Destroyed, right? And he destroyed. Yes. And it's amazing. It's called Kill Bucks. Yes. And we just gathered people in this box, this old fucking factory in Tampa.

Yeah. And he went in there and he just crushed. Yeah. And so it's on my website October 8th. Yeah. For I think 10 bucks. And Bobby's coming on the show too. He's going to be out.

Good, good. That's all my shit. I'm sick of it. And thank you, by the way, you're a big supporter of the show. People don't know that. But you're you you support it without people knowing though. Well, you just tell me that you think things are funny. Yeah, yeah, which to me is how you should support.

And that makes me happy. I listen to your show like I'm like I listen to it like a regular person when I make my breakfast. Well, that makes me happy that you think things are funny. So that's how you support it funny. You with the woman in Chicago. What's her name? The Lori Lightfoot.

The Lori Lightfoot Tim Dillon. Yeah, just Google Lori Lightfoot Tim Dillon. It's one of the best pieces of audio. Yeah, I appreciate it. She's a and you guys found that too, right? Wasn't that your guys find for Yelp that she reviewed a limousine company on Yelp? Other people knew about it. And then the through the you could tell through the the the limousine

companies reply that there was all lies and someone found. But son, your organization found that we found it and your dissection of it. Yeah, I listened to it on on a tour bus. Yeah, it's one of the funniest things ever. It's a great piece. That's great investigative journalism. We try and you know, Lori is the gift. Listen, if I lived in Chicago, I'd probably be angry, but I don't.

So it's pure comedy. I wanted to win again. Yes, I wanted to win, win, win because there's and she's there's nothing better than a petty, yeah, kind of small, even though Chicago is not a small town, but like a small town, petulant, childlike dictator, which is the way she behaves. It's incredible. It's an incredibly nothing is better than like a mean lesbian who's like gets infused with local businesses. Nothing better than that.

That's local stupidity. I mean, a great level. Localize localize stupidity. If if if I lived in Chicago, I bet most I bet Chicago local papers make way more money because in the morning, they have the crazy word with the eye and it says, like, guess what she did today? Like every fucking like it's like the Metro. It's like the T in the forties when they show everybody with the newspaper.

No, it's it's absolutely. What does she do now? What is she doing? It is wonderful that America, we have these characters. We have these characters. Nobody has better character. No, we are an amazing story. There's no way that you can create a cast of characters the way this country has. The incredible Trump and Kardashian and Bieber and all of these things. And Laurie Lightfoot, it's it's beautiful.

It's such a beautiful. And, you know, and is when again, once it wafts up to you, what you do with it, you should never hold back. No, we can't. I don't know how. Yeah. You there's no that's once it gets to you, it's too late. That's right. I believe that. That's right. It is once it's here. Yeah, it's too late. Too late.

It's time to go hard. Yeah, for sure. Fucking dig in, baby. Yes, beautiful. I love what you do. Very good. Louis C.K. Go get everything he has. Louis.com. Go to my website. Otherwise, I can't do this anymore. Louis Louis C.K.com income, except my own industry. Louis C.K.com.

Just buy all the shit. Give go give him the money now. Yeah. Thank you. All right. Thank you, sir. Sure, man. I appreciate it. It's fun.