The Tim Dillon Show - 328 - The Christmas Episode

Episode Date: December 25, 2022

- In this special holiday episode Tim talks about the massive winter weather front sweeping the nation. With Christmas being only a day away Tim also takes a look at some of the most popular new toys for this holiday season. Native Americans are not happy with the new avatar movie that was just released, Tim takes a look on why. We would like to thank all of our supporters and to whatever holiday you are celebrating this year, please don't get caught in a snow storm on your way to your Aunt's house. Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack Bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow Netflix special: https://www.netflix.com/watch/81616382 SPONSORS: BESPOKE: Get twenty percent off your first monthly box when you sign up at Box of Awesome dot com and enter the code timdillon at checkout. That’s Box of Awesome dot com, code timdillon for twenty percent off your first box. REXMD: Get 90% off RexMD with our exclusive link RexMD.com/TIM #rexmdpod Athletic Greens Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune supporting Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Visit athleticgreens.com/timdillon ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Tim Dillon Live Dates!: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show Merry Christmas. It's our holiday extravaganza episode I of course celebrate Kwanzaa, but for today. I'm making an exception and we have all this. I am Jewish I am Jewish and Muslim, but for this for today Asalaamu alaykum and and Whatever Jews do but Jewish people are celebrating Hanukkah, but today I am Taking part in the commercial holiday of Christmas the birth of Christ our white savior Lord Who was born in Palestine the only white guy in Palestine? He was born there

He was white and he showed everybody how to make money and that's the story of Christ in a nutshell and And listen wherever you are and whatever you're doing many people are listening to this right now in an airport Because their flight has been delayed. This is true. This is crazy We have a major winter storm that is battering Pretty much coast-to-coast outside of where I am in California And a few other states the vast majority of the states in America are being completely deluged with snow Travel conditions have become

Untenable for people they cannot get to where they're going So you might be listening to this in an airport because your flight has been delayed You might be listening to it. You might be on the road now, and you've been on the road for several hours You may be listening to it. You may have already gotten into an accident and the car is Careened to the side of the road and you're waiting for the jaws of life to come open the car and get you out But this is still playing on the radio in the car, and you're just kind of Hoping that your neck isn't broken as you wait for these fucking hourly employee EMTs who they couldn't give a shit less about you. They have to come in now and do the jaws of life

And and rip you out of the car and bring you to some type of hospital God help you God help you But it's bad out there live winter storm updates at least one dozen deaths blamed on weather More than a million power outages that sucks. I Mean we're talking thousands of flights are done In Ohio dozens of vehicles were involved in a pile up that killed at least four Fucking hey That is a shitty way to start the holidays to be in a pile up

It sucks, but this is the risk you take when you go see your family and That's why I've always advised You know being cautious Do a cost benefit? Do you need? Can you see them later? Can you see them another time? If the conditions look at these can did don't stay home If the conditions are epic if they're biblical you don't need to see your aunt Janet You could see her Face-timer go on faith the things that people are participating in to get to their families are killing them. I

Understand that it's nice to see your family on Christmas. I'm a fan of that. I support that But not if there's a chance you'll die if you look outside and the snow Is that your window if you have to work on your car for an hour to get it to the point where you can get on the road? Stay home. Don't kill yourself people are dead in a pile up now And they were just on their way to Christmas and now they're dead because they were fun They didn't think safety first I'm telling you you're gonna regret it out there if you do something stupid you don't don't get on a snowmobile and

End up in the fucking you know like in some type of Hellish nightmare. I'm I'm telling you right now. I know a lot of you want to see your family and I support that Buffalo I have a friend in Buffalo Buffalo is a very It's a very bleak and sad part of New York. It's on the northern end of New York State on the border of Canada They used to have a lot of factories There and people there I mean it was always kind of sad, but all the factories left Buffalo and they went to other countries and the people that live in Buffalo now are destitute sad poor

depressed they're on drugs and My friend of mine lived there and he had The two home invasions in his house and I swear to God he said the third one. I'm leaving He goes the third I'm done because literally twice someone came in his house to say I want what you have and he doesn't have anything So Buffalo is just destitute. It's very very sad and to make matters worse And Buffalo is of course where they have the Buffalo wing That's where they invented the Buffalo wing Which is we appreciate that but that can be gotten anywhere now

So Buffalo's fucked now to add insult to injury Buffalo it gets some of the largest snow falls So not only is that everyone on Oxycontin and it's not only is everybody a blue-lipped fentanyl attic not only is it scary not only Does everybody have no money not only is it bleak not only is it disgusting and gray? There's no real green not only is you know It's just a bad place to live, but you also have so much snow that gets dumped on Buffalo They're saying right now according to the weather service Buffalo reported a daily storm full of 22 inches Friday

Almost doubling the old record of 12 inches set in 1976 So this is the most snow this hellhole Buffalo has ever seen 23 it's almost as if God's trying to kill it once and for all 20 as you should 22 inches Friday 1.9 inches of rain just to make some sleet some sludge some black ice In Buffalo this storm will likely at least jump near the top of the list of worst blizzards in the city's history If not the worst

4 to 6 feet of snow will fall by Sunday Coupled with wind gusts approaching hurricane force 75 miles an hour or greater to create enormous drifts and impossible travel I spoke to my friend up there in Buffalo. They have shut the highways down They have shut the highways down because it is so treacherous to leave your home So how get the Narcan ready because that's You're not getting your if you OD and you will Have the Narcan in the house ready to revive your cousin brother or sister

When she checks out during dinner when she starts to foam at the mouth these are the signs She gets real quiet. She has that look in her eyes You start to see the blue ring around her mouth and she starts to foam when everybody else is going these potatoes are good When she careens over and falls on the floor you get the Narcan out and you do the spritz and she's back and you go You're back. Welcome back. Merry Christmas. You smack about Because you can't get on the highways because of the snow Every family should have a Narcan now. You don't know who's gonna OD I have Cousins that used to be on heroin. You don't know what's gonna happen

We didn't know what was gonna happen when my cousin went into the bathroom We didn't know if she was gonna come out with a knife. We didn't know what was happening So everybody it just has to be careful, especially in Buffalo, which is it's a horrible place anyway, really and I have fans there and the people that are listening to this agree with me None of my fans are Buffalo going. No, you just you haven't seen a good part of it. There is none No, you haven't seen the part that's good You haven't seen the good areas of Buffalo, but take weather seriously folks You must you have to the weather will kill you and it'll kill your family. You have to watch out

I was reading about these brain-eating amoebas now that are in all the lakes Brain-eating amoebas are killing children in fresh water Especially hot fresh water in places like Texas Arizona Nevada and the brain-eating amoeba is Swimming up your nose and I was reading about this and this was in the in the late summer This happens and you got to be very careful about this and it's rare. It's rare, but it happens. It happens You're swimming in a freshwater lake or pond or something like that. Here's what happens The brain-eating amoeba swims up your nostrils. This is true

This is a fact Somewhere or maybe a few days later, maybe the next day you get a little bit of a headache and a stiff neck You're like, what's that about? Day after that you feel even worse a couple of days after that you cannot move You're taken to the hospital you die Within a few days death Comes for you because of the brain-eating amoeba and you have to be very careful and in Texas They don't even care like they told people that the brain-eating amoeba is in the water supplied

They're like, well, you better figure it out because they don't care And someone died. There was a poor little kid and he was at like a splash park in Texas See in Texas when it gets hot they have these little Places where kids can go splash around and some of them have the brain-eating amoeba and it goes into kids nose and then the kids brain swells and Explodes its head and then the people in Texas are like, well, you better get your fat straight The brain-eating amoeba in Gulf Coast County is scientifically known as a negli-era Fowley and thrives in warm fresh waters lakes rivers hot springs. I mean, it's it's it's I'm just saying and we're a long way from the summer here

I'm just saying I'm saying nature's a problem. That's why I got on this rant nature's an issue And if you doubt that I'm telling you you're you could die. You got to be very careful I'm not saying don't ever swim, but I'm saying like buy a buy a house on the beach in In Palm Beach or something for like 60 or 80 million dollars so that you can swim in the salt water It's not a big deal. Um, I want to speak about Well, number one, it's I want to talk about

Giving gifts because I I'm only getting gifts for a few people very few almost none And my my godson, I'm getting him a gift. He's Chinese. We're doing tomorrow. We're doing a traditional Chinese Christmas For him where we will speak and strategize about the reunification of China with Taiwan Because he believes my godson is too, but he believes strongly in one China And so that's what we're doing, but these are the new toys. I don't I'm not buying for real Children I don't have really nieces or nephews none of my cousins have procreated thank the Lord, but So I don't really so I'm out of the I don't know what people are buying, right? You know, I remember when it was like tickle me Elmo and what but I want to know what are the hottest toys this year?

For the children. It's something that you want. It's because it's culture and it matters And so now that they have a toy trend expert And we're gonna go through some of these toys to see what they say about Where we're we're at as a people magic mixies magical misting crystal ball Is a toy Magic mixies magical misting crystal ball Um

Not all sequels can live up to the original but when it comes to this year's magic mixies toy a crystal ball that mists and lights up To reveal a magical furry pet The experts feel confident it will sell just as quickly as the magic misties magical misting cauldron did last year I mean, this is when you really start to realize that some of the cacuneon people have a little bit of a point because this is marketed to sexual degenerates to furries to kids that are gonna be junkies drug addicts Magical misty again, if you look at it, it's like a furry pet That's you know a very colorful furry pet that comes out of this crystal ball But last year they gave them a cauldron. I guess to turn them into witches

You try to dismiss a lot of these lunatics online That think everything's run by satanist, but then the first toy It was just a witch's cauldron and in the follow-up to it is like some weird like fucking Molly fucking I Don't know technicolor ferret. They're trying to sell kids to To de-stigmify being a furry the next The next toy we have here if your child is not into going out clubbing getting fucked up is

Crazy Aaron's amazing prediction thinking putty Crazy Aaron's thinking putties have popped up in several gift guys gift guides Okay, so what this is it works like a magic eight ball But instead of shaking it you asked a question and then squish it through your fingers with tiny And I tie with until a tiny hidden phrase appears in the slime with your answer Yay, and the answer is always kill your parents Go upstairs with a knife and kill your parents. All right, that's prediction putty Pop sockets pop puck. I

Mean by the way, let's just for a minute just understand that Growing up today is a horror and and not to sound like an old fuck, but just going through these toys Growing up today's an utter nightmare. Just plug these kids into a neural ink already Why even pretend that these kids are gonna have anything? Kind of like anything like approaching a life every single thing here is insane We're only three down on the list. Maybe things will get better, but literally Everything so far you wouldn't even leave your home to play with it. You would just play with it in your little pod It's sick

Pop pucks are a new kind of magnetic fidget toy that Grunt thinks are going to take off this holiday season the brand behind the toy popsocket's calls it quote a magnetic skatepark for your thumbs Meaning you can flick flip and stack the two dime-sized pucks in their key chain holder to perform different tricks You really have to see a video to understand how it works, but it has all the best traits of an addictive fidget toy Satisfying ASMR clicking and swishing said every toy on this list is being marketed to make your children crazier than they already are More dependent on shit than they already are it's it's really really obvious to me

that all of these things This fidget thing where they're basically like hey your kids don't have to go outside They can just sit in a chair and get addicted to the swooshing sound of their fidget socket. I mean This is a toy for children That's just it's trying to get them addicted to a swooshing sound so that can you imagine you walk in and your kids like this You're like what the fuck's wrong with you shut up dad

I'm listening to my swooshing sound that my thumbs make with my toy. I Mean Jesus Christ. They're not even gonna know how to jerk off The next toy on the list is The bluey ultimate lights and sounds playhouse with lucky Bluey's light-up interactive playhouse is based on the healer family home Where much of the ultra popular cartoon takes place bluey is an amazing story It reflects contemporary family dynamics and it's just really appealing and fun to watch says Chris burn a toy and play expert Who goes by the name toy guy?

Not only has this show become a worldwide sensation for preschool and elementary-age children But the toys have also become super popular burn says they do an excellent job of Translating the show's creativity games and songs into something kids. So I have no idea what this is. It's a playhouse Apparently this is a show bluey and bingo this is some type of show and It's it's it's about dogs and It's just cute get this get get this up bluey try to find this bluey

Bluey show bluey and bingo. They have a they live in a house and it's a show I'm gonna wear of this. Okay, so so bluey and bingo Let's see what what bluey and bingo are here They're they're ones a blue healer Texas's dogs are blue healer Okay My mind all these toys they're flying around sure are making it difficult to keep the balloon up Can you imagine how easy this would be if you tidied them all away? All right, this is seems fine. It's nobody's

Lighting a candle and we're sure be saying yet None of the dogs are talking about Meghan Markle in a positive way, I don't see any problem with this All right, this seems well, this isn't insane, but this seems a Lot, but it seems fine. It doesn't you know as long as the dogs aren't like the royal family is horrible We must kill all white people Next The next thing on this popular toy list Bratz X cult Gaia special edition designer Chloe fashion doll show this doll here

Interesting this is a doll if your daughter is not yet a whore This doll will show her how to be a whore If you're I don't want a relationship, I'm holding out for better daughter isn't a whore yet This doll will show her in collaboration with cult Gaia Collect this special edition Chloe fashion doll featuring premium fashions and accessories Styling accessories include a yellow bucket hat iconic silver shoulder bag pearl bag geometric Bengal bracelets IUD tons of condoms and a dental dent now

Yeah, this is the you know This is the new dolls. They're they're fun. They're they just look hoarse, and I don't know why but they look like whores What's interesting now is everyone's kind of dressing like drag queens like drag queens used to be special and They used to have a distinct look now Everything looks like a drag queen like everybody is dressing kind of very big and somewhat cartoonish Okay, well, there's that so if you if you want to get that for your daughter And you it's a good thing to give to a girl because you go you can be a whore What else do we have here lol's a mini sweet surprise automatic dolls?

So this is for fat children. They partnered with Hershey So this is hey you let your kids like dolls, but they also need food They partnered with Hershey, so there's all different candy dolls including a Reese's themed doll That's what we need a peeps themed doll and a bazooka gum themed doll to collect dolls aren't enough make them food check Okay, $9 at Walmart go spend that on the kids nine at Walmart. This is the big one This is the king Coco melon is the king if you know anyone under three my god sends two and a half one China But he goes nuts over Coco melon. They're trying to wean him off his parents are trying to wean him off Coco melon and we're playing old Trump speeches for him, but he just wants to watch Coco melon

And Coco melon is this weird thing where they have these big eyes and they're like and they're like and we You know the and they just do the old, you know songs a classic songs like the wheels on the bus go round But the eyes are so big round and and then the kids get hypnotized and they just sit and they kind of bounce around We're like the wheels on the bus go around, you know and eventually The corporations are good. You're lucky to work lucky to work lucky to work the corporations are good You're lucky to work. Don't fucking complain And so that's they're just brainwashing the children So Coco melon, this is boo boo JJ

JJ is the star of Coco melon and it's and JJ with all his other Coco melon friends Just like seeing and all the kids are hypnotized. So those Dolls are big so twenty eight dollars in Amazon if it's not sold out. This is helping you This is a nice thing anything else do we have here? What else do we have? Tamagotchi picks party we get it the pot. They're trying to bring that back Disney's incanto karaoke machine. It's a child in your life is obsessed with incanto Which is the what is that? That's the the Disney Spanish thing and there's that's beautiful. I'm not I know that guy looks like me says a thing like that

You think I'm about to scream and yell about it But I think it's nice. I actually think it's nice that they are Scoop Leonia whatever it is. I think it's lovely that they're doing it for so it's incanto and this is a Can you and this is a karaoke machine? Can you sing in English? Is it allowed? I don't know I'm kidding We love it get the kid. I think kids should learn languages But we are there we have the dumbest group of kids. Can we admit this without getting anyone angry? These are the stupidest group of children that have ever existed on earth In fact, if you look at teenagers in the way they act like with the tick-tocking and everything that where they just kind of like

If kids a few generations go active like that you put them in an institution. You would tie them up So the way that kids act now normally Would be cause for concern Really not even that long ago the way that they would behave just kind of moving and you know just dancing out of nowhere You would put them in an institution. You would tie them to a bed and give them electric shock therapy Snap Circuits green energy electronic as exploration kit We featured snap circuits in a few of our tour guides before but this stem kit is the first one the brand has designed to teach kids About renewable energy the set can't well

What about one that teaches them about oil and Texas and Jesus and killing the president Kennedy? I Think we need to give it should be both sides So if you're gonna teach kids about renewable energy You should also teach them about the great Texas oil the CIA and the Saudis and the Bush family Where's that box set? You can make your own solar clock and a mini car powered by wind energy You know Elon Musk Tesla, which I've shit on many times not really because I have a problem with Tesla But I hate

National Geographic Otter care nurture said this is true otters are literal rapists. They rape every it's all rape It's disgusting and it's true but What I always said about Tesla was that the people that bought Teslas were the most annoying people in the world All they wanted to talk about was Tesla's they thought they were part of SpaceX They thought they were like, you know part of some club that was going to Mars They thought they were gonna get some ticket in the mail. They're gonna get on a spaceship But they were insufferable people who because they bought like a $35,000 car thought they were the shit

Tesla now is tanking get up. How bad Tesla is doing, you know, Elon's on Twitter, you know, kind of having a mental breakdown Banning people he doesn't like which is what I would do if I own the app for sure But the stock of Tesla's tanking people I guess are getting a little fed up Pressure mounts for Musk as tanking Tesla Prompting layoff talk now. Everybody's doing layoffs. This isn't technically his fault But you know, he sold a bunch of Tesla stock to close a Twitter deal He said recently he's not gonna sell any more but Tesla shares are down more than 60 percent this year The company told workers that it is frozen hiring and to expect layoffs early next year EV publication

Electric reported now Kathy Wood our psychopath friend Kathy Wood who's an evangelical Christian NFT freak is saying that Bitcoin will be a million dollars. I think by 2030 It's at a point now Which time to call her a crackhead Kathy Wood the head of ARC investment who's lost all their fucking money Because she invested in like genome projects where you were gonna design your children and all this other crap because that's what Jesus would want She's this interesting chick, right? She lives in Tampa and she's an evangelical Christian and loves the metaverse She loves web three. She's a real Christian web three freak If there was ever a more terrifying combination of person, it is a fundamentalist Christian

NFT evangelist. There's is no worse group, but she is saying that Bitcoin will reach one million by 2030 You know and Bitcoin right now is sixteen thousand dollars So what's great is you now can just say anything and it doesn't have to be backed up by Any logic at all. You go. Yeah, it's gonna be it's literally almost off the Bitcoin trains almost done now That brings me no happiness. I have a few of them, but not a lot But enough to not want it to be over. I always thought it was cool decentralized currency Why not? but Bitcoin

She goes or Somebody said I think she said Bitcoin is coming out smelling like a rose one thing that will be delayed perhaps The institution stepping back once they actually do the homework and see what's happened here I think they'd be more comfortable moving into Bitcoin and Ethereum as a starting point Hey, man, I don't know. It's been a rough year for crypto. Could it come back? Maybe but it just doesn't seem like it at the moment Right now it doesn't seem like it. It doesn't mean that it'll be done forever But it does mean that Before what you can't just say crazy shit like you used to a couple of years ago

You know if everyone is in Miami doing rails Coked to the gills and she said that a couple years ago when Bitcoin was at 40 50k people go. Yeah, fuck. Yeah, man Now everyone's lost all that goddamn money Sam bankman freed is in a hole. They're putting him in the fucking. You know, he was in a He's going to jail for a long time All the crypto exchanges don't look safe. Don't look great And crypto has lost so much value over the last year when you say crazy shit now People are gonna call you out on it and they're gonna go wait a minute hold on I

Want to talk a little bit and we did this on the patreon in detail, but I want to mention it briefly Because I get that the Native Americans aren't happy with avatar and I understand why I You know, I'm I Empathize with the plight of the Native American people You know what I mean? I get it and now I don't get it like I don't you know what I mean? I'm not there I'm not living there, but I get it because I can imagine it it sucks, right? You're on this reservation

Everybody's drunk or a lot of them are drunk because there's nothing to do because that we've taken all the thickets You lost the war But and the reality is what they and I've said what they need is an Andrew Tate like a native Tate to kind of go in there And rev them all up really they just need a kind of a psychopath because that's what America has We have an endless stream of narcissistic Psychopaths who enrich themselves are giving people just a tiny little bit of hope and that's what they need in those communities But they don't but the Native Americans are very angry at the avatar boycott. I'm sorry They're they're an angry at avatar and they're calling for boycott. They don't want anyone to see now

You know avatars about you know, the Navi people and it's you know, you know, James Cameron's been very honest It's it's been like kind of based on the natives You know like the respect for nature the feeling that everybody's You know plugged into the universe and the world and their environment and all the good things But a lot of people are angry Cameron mates of comments earlier that were not exactly great. We talked about that. We're not gonna retread that but You know, what what people are saying now is like somebody said this this person you be gay wrote on Twitter Our cultures were appropriated in a harmful manner to satisfy some white man's savior complex. No more blue face

Lakota people are powerful. I like that no more blue face She didn't expect to go viral when she sent the tweet calling for a boycott of avatar But it was retweeted over twelve thousand five hundred times and covered by the LA Times and Newsweek Native Americans are not the only people that are unhappy with it There's the trans activist has called for the boycott of avatar as well. This isn't the advocate Everybody's getting involved Everyone's getting upset a Website attempting to stop the release of James Cameron's avatar

argues that the film is offensive because in the future human beings will evolve and transition to transgender Ism quote heterosexual arrogance assumptions or exclusions of alternative sexualities and movies is no longer acceptable Diversity and tolerance are human right. You wonder if this is a troll like if this is actually even real Website is sprinkled with arguments suggesting that given the current course of evolution It would be far more likely for the film's hero Jake to be by gay or trans then it would for him to be straight The film also makes gross assumptions that the old heterosexual ways on earth would be somehow would be Would be occurring with another race of being on a totally different world with its own unique Cult and by the way, we don't know if the people are trans or not an avatar

We don't really know what the hell goes on an avatar like they're blue and they have things that plug They have tails that plug into fish and they have like a tail that plugs into of an animal So they can ride it and use its energy. I mean, I don't know that I don't know that that's not some kind of sexual But I mean, it's it's it this is where we are now where people are like. I'm upset with avatar because the blue Native Americans aren't trans enough for me Hey sure, I mean, I don't know I don't I don't think then I think that's not an exclusively heterosexual world the Navi Probably not there's probably stuff going on on Pandora. That is not 100%

Heterosexual, it's a guess. I don't know but that's a guess But I guess it should have been showcased more there should have been more of an effort to include trans Navi from Pandora in the film. I get it. I Understand and we'd also so hopefully and we you'd have to find trans native

Indigenous you'd have to find trans indigenous actors to go into the blue suit to play the trans Navi characters on Pandora a planet that doesn't exist Well, I mean, it seems it seems odd But I can I can vibe with it the sites creator who's described on the blog as a young transgender person living in the Bay Area counters by saying going after avatar will send a message to Hollywood because it's likely to be the top Grossing film of the year. I mean none of this. It's not going to do anything, right?

So I mean these these these these things are funny these boycotts and these Here's the thing folks. This isn't the way to do you know when people said to me Megan Markle wants to modernize the monarchy or you know, she wants to like There's only one way to do it by the way. It really is true It's like the only way to get attention from these people that you're supposedly trying to reform or change or Trying to make them into better people is to kind of attack them violently So if Megan Markle was serious like when people like she was just trying to change the

Institution if she was serious about that on her wedding day On her wedding day when she was standing there in the church with Harry and Prince Charles And they said do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? She would have said I know who I come out and blown the church up Blown herself up blown Harry up blown Prince Charles up So that's it. The boycotts don't work the blogs don't work If you want real change you have to dress up as the avatars The Native American reservation if I was on there I'd go you got to dress up in blue suits and go kill everyone

It's the only way to affect change in our blood violent bloody society I'm not calling for that. Please don't try to get me in trouble I'm just sick of these boycotts and Megan and Harry aren't exchanging Christmas gifts with William and Kate this year. I know who I come out That's the only way she could have changed it If you want to change the institution blow yourself up kill them You don't do an interview with Oprah you blow them up But you can't do that and then live in Montecito, but that's all you can do

The British monarchy got where it got with centuries of violence Unspeakable levels of violent crushing the heads of native babies like they were coconuts You can't get back at them with like a snide comment blow yourself up at your wedding and I would have respect do you know how much I would have respected Meghan Markle if So if I was in West Hollywood eating avocados go And somebody said do you did you hear what happened it fucking Megan Markle's wedding to Harry? I go what what happened? They go she fucking yell Allah who Akbar and blew herself up blew up the whole church the whole fucking thing I would go fuck really that bitch is no joke. I would respect her so much

If she did that now, I'd be like oh sad a loss of life Whatever fucking disclaimers you need Merry Christmas You know, but if if if if Meghan Markle had at her own wedding blown herself up murdering Harry Kate will Charles Camilla the whole murdering Decapitating the entire royal family By blowing herself up at her own wedding killing her mother killing her friends killing all the celebrities Who came in but she knew it would be for a great cause if she took her own life If she was a suicide slash homicide bomber and

Decapitated the entire royal family. I would have nothing but respect for her because I would get it I'd go there's a woman who means business and That's what I think about the new the avatar shit It's like if you're that serious about it dress up like avatars in blue costumes Obviously, they're not gonna be as good as the ones in the film improvise But if native people painted themselves blue it said oh you think we're fucking blue and just showed up Somewhere and started murdering other people like at the premiere or something. I'm not suggesting this

I'm simply telling you if I was at home watching it on TV. I'd go. Oh, they're not happy They're not happy about this That's my that's my guess this book genderqueer came out Everybody has been banning this book. I'm not for banning books I don't think books are obviously appropriate for kids at every age But I'm also not for banning books, but this book came out genderqueer a memoir. It's America's most banned book It's about people that fall outside of the gender binary outside of male and female into this non-binary thing Here is my I am going to make a deal

We are we need to make deals here. I'll make a deal Let's I don't I never saw gender as this rigid thing where men had to be this and women had to be this maybe it's because I'm from Long Island where women are very some of them are very masculine and And and some of their husbands are quivering and terrified of them. I never saw gender as this this this rigid fixed thing I think it can be sensitive men that could be very aggressive women. I whatever I think But I also understand that people just don't want to be in it They want to opt out right they want to opt out of gender entirely. That's fine one category. You get one one One we can learn they them. That's fine

We you can't have a million category. The person who wrote this book is she uses. I'm sorry. E I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding now. E uses the M. Air pronouns E M E I R E Those are the pronouns that M uses that E uses air If if can you imagine being at a Christmas if someone is non-binary going by they them Someone's going by E M and someone's going by sir Z sir How do you even communicate in anything that's not a who's on first joke? Where you go? Did you did you did you take?

Z To the play Did sir sir and her and M Did M E like there it's we can't like per like per Per loved The we we have to just do what you get one non-binary is one It's one thing and I think that's nice because that way everyone in and in they

You can be any of the other but you can't ask people to learn Z sir M and Err I mean what kind of fucking insanity E M R How would we even say E M or like if you were going to

Use that in a sense E is the singular I guess M is Like them and err would be air would be there maybe huh a Gender-neutral subject pronoun could be accused of he or she Z went to the store to buy some cake XE So that's how you would use Z. Z went to the store to buy Sir, so here's what I'm saying. Just kid. Can we just can we just use they now? Can we just use they them please it would just be easier if you are an err or a sir or a per Can you please just be a they or them?

That's the conservative approach by the way in 2022 can we just have one category of the non-binary How would you say Z is hungry instead of he she is hungry? Please tell Zem that lunch is ready. Please tell Zem please this sandwich is Zers or X or errs or airs the sandwiches airs M M. I mean it's like guys Let's just let's just let's just use they them Can we just can't we just let's just do what we just need one? We need one group of people Here's the deal

People don't need to validate you in life. In fact, you're setting yourself up And this is all the young people that are listening to this of any gender Them he she per their server any of you guys People if you're looking for people to validate you in life You're going to have a horrible miserable life if you're looking for other people to validate your personal Journey or your belief system or the way you feel about yourself. You're gonna have a horrible life so this Idea that everybody everywhere has to conform to your idea and understanding of yourself at every moment of the day

Unless you fall apart is silly It's silly and it's crazy and you're gonna be a lot happier if you just kind of get a few close friends Find someone to fuck do well in whatever kind of gig or job or career you want and and and stop trying at every moment To remake everything all the time. It's just it's Exhausting number one. It's exhaust. It's not even fun. None of these people fuck none of them have any fun Everybody's always just so concerned with what other people are doing or what other people are saying who cares? Christ Almighty So I'm just asking for the sake of efficiency. I don't care what you call yourself. It doesn't mean anything to me

I don't use pronouns because I've never spoken about anyone other than myself, and I never will I've never talked about anyone else in a sentence besides me. Why would I? So at the end of the day, I just it's I if I'm around you I just go I I me me I think me I never talk about anyone else So it I'm unaffected, but for all of you out there, can we just use one? They thems fine. You can be let's just be they thems Let's just be they thems kids Say your kids down this Christmas with a crackling fire and go listen to me a little narcissist. Can't you just be a they them?

Why do you have to be a zeezer? Why do you have to be so goddamn special? Why do you have to be an M? Er? Why do you have to be so special? Just be a they them just be a they them there should be a word for people that don't fit into the binary It's just we have to run a society efficiently. It's just got to be efficient quick Men women other men women they them boom boom boom Boom boom boom moving on. I'm from New York. We got to go. I don't move on It can't be 19 thing. You know I

Do hope everyone out there has a good holiday. I do hope you have a good new year Is this the last episode before the new year? Yes, it is. Wow, you know, there's so much out there to look back on this year You know People paid more for groceries this year than they ever have in their lives That's something to think about Something to think about how much you paid for some frozen chicken nuggets or some high fructose corn syrup for your kids Something to think about when you go and buying that poison, how much it costs now How much that poison cause from Tyson Holly farms or I don't any of those factories where they had those raids and they kicked all the

Illegals out remember those factories where they just Were those those Amazon centers where they make the people just piss and colostomy bags They won't let them use the bathroom, you know, whatever whatever all those factories have put together all that fake chicken product shit You know for your children, how much did that cost it cost so much? cost so much This year was a year we all learned about the Ukraine and then it was essential to our freedom as Americans to make sure that the Ukraine had a hundred and seventy nine trillion dollars at their disposal We learned about that. We learned about Volodymyr Zelensky

Our ex game show host president was They raided the golf club he lives in and took his stolen documents that he stole or took or misplaced Isn't that nice? Lauren Boebert common street criminal was elected again to Congress in Colorado and crazy old Marjorie Taylor Greene as well Lauren Boebert like a Casio Cortez an ex bartender now making laws So, yeah, so we had the midterm elections. We had the inflation We had the Ukraine war the Roe v. Wade the Supreme Court took away a woman's right to choose As a federal law of the land

This is all because Democrats did not force Ruth Bader Ginsburg to retire They let her die on the bench and then I think nobody thought Roe was gonna be overturned But now there's a lot of people in Texas and other places. It cannot get an abortion. Some of these women are dying whatever You know as a faggot. I don't have a huge investment in this either way. It's not like I'm You know, like I wish I could pull that card and be like faggot and they go Oh, yes, yes, open the gate like I don't have to participate in that conversation, but I am pro-choice I believe you should be able to have an abortion up to a certain point then it gets weird I don't know what that point is exactly, but it should be up to where I feel personally comfortable with it

You know, I don't know I think you should have an abortion up to where I go feel comfortable with it and then after that I go you got to have it, you know, but it's it's got to be it's got to be something where I it's right up to the line Where I go, okay, and then after that you got to have it But that was a big one too Roe v. Wade You know, this is the year that COVID is refused to die. It's still here kind of it's still floating around somehow But people are on booster five. They're sicker than they've ever been

They're calling out of work. They're having they're having strokes. They haven't had their period in three years Some of them are dropping dead. There's there's some There's certainly some interesting vaccine side effects that are starting to rear their head Yeah, I mean, it's been it's been a year. It's been a good year in the decline in the decline of this empire into the ash heap of history Sadly, we had a good run. It was fun, but it all the years probably will get worse I mean from this like I you know Things will just come undone In ways that will surprise and shock you as they have been right? I mean Kanye West. That was a big story this year, right?

This big You know, one of the biggest star in the world Literally in front of everyone became a Nazi. It was kind of interesting to watch Like the biggest star in the world just genuinely started going on things and going I love Hitler More things like that will probably happen people are gonna have More public mental breakdowns, you know, you land musk on Twitter. Yeah, he's doing some good things But he's also clearly seems to be all over the place. Maybe losing it a bit You're gonna see that more that's a prediction for next year next year. I think more public high-profile mental breakdowns

That's what I think where you see famous people Going insane in front of your eyes. It becomes very captivating to watch It's the beginning of a societal Mental collapse by the way, it's not just these famous people They are leading the charge Because and they're the getting the press But a lot of people are having mental break like I don't think people are fully aware of How fucked people are mentally in this country?

Because it's not really reported on or if they do report on it. They're like They they try to use like cute words. They're like people out there. It just exhausted They're just so tired people out there except but when you speak to people, it's like no, they're schizophrenic They're not exhausted. They think that the people under the ground are coming to kill them the the amount of people who've slipped into True Schizophrenia over the last three to four years whether it's technology whether it's the the the political tensions whatever it is It's alarming. It's genuinely alarming as someone whose mother's a schizophrenic. I have seen this stuff before

I'm telling you it's not the end. We're having kind of a collective mental collapse as a society Where we know how fake everything is we know how unfair everything is And we're all expected to just kind of keep going along We're expected to keep going along with everything because we have flashing lights in our face every minute and new apps and new gadgets and things and fidgets and contraptions that keep us distracted, but you know the onslaught of news coming into Anybody's

The palm of their hand in their phone is so negative so bad Even if you paid attention to only a tiny bit of it you would you would start to lose your mind It would be impossible to feel safe Anywhere with you know every single news story the variants are here home invasions nuclear war is on its way Meghan Markle being disrespected Every minute of every second you're being inundated with brain-eating amoebas in the lake It's just Nowhere to go. It's causing a collective mental

Breakdown if you've gone out there and you've spoken to but you'll speak to members of your family over this holiday And you'll be like god damn it. They're fucking nuts They're fucking nuts man like you'll speak to them and they'll drop some shit on you where you go. Oh, they've lost their minds It's not a that they're exhausted or they're dehydrated They've lost their fucking minds and there's a lot of untreated mental illness So people like Kanye West are the most famous people in the world So they obviously are getting all the press and people are paying attention to them and they're saying things that have some political Significance and they're they're making all kinds of people mad and rightfully so but under underneath that

There's you've you've lost one or two of your uncles or aunts Over the last couple of years and you may not even know it until you sit down with them You may not even know what this holiday until you sit down with them and whether it's QAnon that they've been lost to there's a few of them there the other side of Politics too, you know where they just completely lost their mind. You're like, you know, it's really good I have my fifth booster, you know, David's David's daughter is now referring their herself as am and I think it's beautiful and I think

That you know what I think Donald Trump was made in a vile. He was made by Russia I mean, it's or the QAnon people who are like Nancy Pelosi's husband runs an underground sex cult with chickens like it's Which whichever way they've their law the boomers are lost. They're gone. They're good. There's no way to reason with them They've been completely Their brains have been melted by the last few years and by the way You've got to be a strong person for your brain to have not been melted to look around at where we are as a Society and as a country

You have to be a strong person You have to be able to block out a lot of stuff if you're too sensitive now if you let too much in you'll be destroyed That's all if you let too much Information and if you let too many people's opinions in you'll be destroyed. There's just you have to keep yourself Well, and the way to do that is by keeping a lot of people out The other way to do that is by buying tickets right now to see me at Irvine California December 29 30th and 31st Saturday, January 14th, and that's the new year shows baby We bring in the new year Saturday, January 14th Coachella spotlight 29 showroom Saturday

January 21st we're in Reno, Nevada Silver Legacy Casino the January 27th We're in Oxnard what a dump the 28th Oxnard shithole the 29th Oxnard vomit I do like Raleigh Thursday February 9th 10th and 11th I'm in Raleigh for a special Valentine's Day for you and that lady that special whore Tucson, Arizona the Rialto theater dump. I'm kidding. It's a lovely theater I don't know what goes on at Tucson Phoenix, Arizona talk about a hell of tan people turquoise jewelry and Native American fry bread Phoenix, Arizona the 17th through the 19th of February Vancouver, Canada

February 24th Thursday, April 13th Englewood, New Jersey Friday, April 14th Huntington, New York at the Paramount Saturday, April 15th New Brunswick, New Jersey at the State Theater Sunday, April 16th back to Long Island at the Paramount for a little East Coast swing Working on some cool projects right now. I can't talk about them. We'll talk about them soon I have a book the boomer guide to parenting. We think that's gonna be the title It's we're finishing it up going in edits. Now. It's hilarious. It talks about a lot of the stuff about growing up in the 90s and the The boomer ethos the most selfish generations who have ever lived on earth and how they destroyed

The minds bodies and souls of their children But enjoy the new year out there keep yourself well keep yourself away You know, it's it's it's a be a stick-and-move hustler with the family You say somebody goes in your ear. They're like, do you know what's going on with the water? You know, that's nice Good to good to see you. Good to see you Bob over there, you know, you know talk to somebody else like I've diagnosed myself with four diseases from this website Have you seen this website because I think you might be able to diagnose yourself with something to go It's good to see you. Good to see you. Keep moving on keep moving on keep moving on

But we appreciate you supporting the show on patreon Whether it's at the five dollar tier or the Rothschild tier of Rothschild episode coming out next week We do appreciate that and support all the sponsors of the show. We appreciate that too. So ladies and gentlemen, that's it You know, we we've done it all we we can't help everyone here You know, all we can do is put out our message of holiday hope and healing and we hope that you take the reins and run and if you have little ones I want to tell them story about Santa Claus because Usually the show's for adults, but today we're making an exception. That's why we have all the So I want to tell them so so gather round little ones gather round gather round

I'm here to tell you the story of Santa Claus Santa Claus What is a jolly fat man who has a Workshop of elves and they make toys and if you're good if you're a good boy girl or other What Santa Claus will do is he will come to your home and he will come He'll magically shrink himself and he'll go down your chimney and then he'll leave the presents They'll leave the presents under the tree for you and then you'll wake up the next morning and And then all the presents will be there and you'll open the presents and then you'll play and it'll be fun But if you're bad if you're bad

Santa will give your mother cancer You'll watch her die You'll watch your father drink and become distant. You won't help you fill out your college applications You'll go to a community college You'll end up dropping out of that community college and getting a sales job, but you don't have any confidence You don't know how to sell anything You'll spend years trying to get good at that job almost until your early 30s And then you'll finally quit and start working at a restaurant. It'll be a high-end restaurant at first

You'll develop a pill addiction. You'll start drinking. You'll start hooking up with a fat woman named Donna You'll go and move into a building with this fat woman and the AC won't work in the summer And you'll sit there and vape with her and you'll say to yourself Christ My life should be better. You'll think about having children But by the grace of God you won't because you don't want to bring anyone else into the hell that you've created for yourself Here's the answer kids Be good You see be good. You don't want to be bad

All right, that's a little story Bye. Bye. Good night