The Tim Dillon Show - 340 - The Art Of Happiness

Episode Date: April 3, 2023

Tim is skeptical about Finland being the happiest country on earth given their artistic contributions. He tries to get tickets to Hunter Biden’s latest high profile art show and just wants everybody to rein it in. Live Shows: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows  Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack Bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow Netflix special: https://www.netflix.com/watch/81616382 SPONSORS: Manscaped: Use code 'TIMD' at manscaped.com Morgan & Morgan: ForThePeople.com/Tim PDS Debt: PDSdebt.com/TIM Keeps Keeps.com/TimDillon ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃:   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/   Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon   Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show. We apologize we're a little late, not crazy late, a couple of days, you know, during the next two months when we're on tour heavily before we get off for months and months and months, you know, the episode's gonna be Friday, Saturday, or maybe Sunday, but we usually maybe keep it Friday or Saturday.

I tried to get David Hogg on the show. I messaged David Hogg, a survivor of the Parkland School shooting. I messaged him on Instagram and Twitter, you know, basically saying, hey, come on the show. Like I want to talk because he's very political and he has the march for our lives and save kids not guns. This is his stuff.

And I'm like, I'm not trying to fight with you or debate with you. There's a few things I might bring up if you come on, but like I've taken flak for saying there should be more restrictions. I don't believe in banning guns, but I'm like, there should maybe be a couple of more sensible restrictions, but I invited him on.

I don't think he's responded. I don't think he's responded to come on the show, but I thought that would be an interesting conversation between me and David Hogg about schools and guns and, you know, all the craziness that just happened in Nashville with the shooting that just happened in Nashville where they killed three children. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, it's nuts. It's crazy. They're saying Finland is the happiest country in the world. Can you believe this? Finland, where children don't get shot, is the happiest country. Or maybe they do. I don't think they do, but the Finnish are the happiest

people in the world. Happier than the United States of America. This is what they're saying. This is their, this is the New York Times. It has been ranked the happiest nation on earth for six consecutive years, but in this article, they talk to the individual Finns who are, I don't know. They're not exuberant.

They're satisfied. They're like relaxed. They go, yeah, we're cool. And I read this article. We're going to bring up some interesting parts of it. I don't know. Again, I've, I'm not shocked that America's doesn't rank. Because again, I've, you know, talked about, you know, the idea

that I very few people seem happy in America. Even happiness in America seems to be a frenetic kind of manic behavior. That's not like a Nordic satisfied and relaxed person. It's like a manic junkie whose dealer is just called the back. That is happiness in America. It's like somebody very, very excited to tell you how good something's going for them.

But it's not like that calm, cool, collected, deep satisfaction that maybe the finish have. So here in the article on March 20th, United Nations Sustainable Development Solutions Network released its annual World Happiness Report. What a interesting thing, which rates well-being in countries around the world for the sixth year in a row. Finland was ranked at the very top.

They keep winning. They always win. But when they interview them individually, they go, I wouldn't say that I consider us very happy, said Nina Hansen, 58, a high school English teacher from a mid-sized city on Finland's West Coast. I'm a little suspicious of that word, actually, which I, I am too, Nina.

They spoke to about a dozen Finns, a Zimbabwean immigrant, a folk metal violinist, a former Olympian and a retired dairy farmer about what supposedly makes Finland so happy. Our subjects raged in age from 13 to 88 and represented a variety of genders, sexual orientations, ethnic backgrounds and professions to get a full picture of how happy, thinnish people are. They came from Kola Kola as well as the capital of Helsinki,

Turku, a city on the southwestern coast and three villages in southern, eastern and western Finland. And I read the article and what it comes down to is they like nature, they like welfare, and they're satisfied with very little, which is good. But that's how you get happy, right? They enjoy nature. They actually enjoy it.

Americans don't really enjoy nature unless we're destroying it or we're using it for our own gain. Nature in America for the most part has kind of been ruined. Like we do have Yellowstone. We have some beautiful national parks. But most nature is just, you know, it's hanging on by a thread. It's the fires are always burning down.

There's droughts everywhere. The lakes aren't at a high level. So nature in America takes a back seat. You know, there are people that go out and do things in nature, but a lot of times that's murder or rape. I mean, it's not always, you know, there's regular, there's people that go out and don't kill in the natural environment, but it's not our main thing.

Like our main thing is not the nature. Like we have some pretty nature, but our main thing is like the cities, the vibe, the clubs, the drugs, the money, the cars, you know, and in Finland, they like a tree. Like they like seeing green grass. We take nature and, and put it on the outside. Like we take fake moss and put it on the outside of buildings or we take trees and rip them out of the ground and put them

inside of a hotel lobby. We dominate nature, which I think is good. Like we don't let nature, we're not going to be nature's bitch. You know, like there's a lake in Austin called Lake Travis, which is heinous. It's a heinous lake. It's a man-made lake and it's, it looks like it's in a crater, like an asteroid hit the earth and it's a crater and it's blue

because it's limestone on the bottom. It gives it that nice color and they buy water from Lake Mead and they buy water from Colorado and they direct it via the dam into this Lake Travis, which is a heinous lake kind of. I mean, when you look at it and the drought has made the lake so that the lake is not even full. It's kind of like, you know, it's like the levels of the lake aren't good.

So people go out and they go on boats and they get hammered and they drink and there's a place called Hippie Hollow where they get naked and everybody's like screaming and yelling. And you know, I'm not, this is a fun summer activity, but it's not really about the lake, right? Like it's not about, it's just about like we've created this big slip and slide for adults to just, you know, to take part in like it's about us.

It's not about the lake. We don't really give a shit about the lake. We care about our ability to use the lake to get drunk, to use drugs, to drive fast on boats and have fun water sports. But that's what America views nature. It's like, it's like an impediment to our having a good time. It's like, we, you know, the lake, last year the lake levels were low. People didn't care.

They're like, fuck it. It's just, hey, this is, the lake's our bitch. And it's a heinous lake, not a nice lake. It's not a naturally occurring lake, it's a manmade lake. We make lakes and we put some fish in them and we go, go out there and do it. Go out there and get drunk, get on the boat, do the, and there's nothing wrong with it.

You know, get on the fucking jet skis, have fun. But we make nature to please us. Whereas the Finnish people, the Finns go to nature and their depression is lifted because they're in nature and I don't know what they do out there in it, but apparently they like it. They also have a very strong social safety net. Well, they're saying there are psychological benefits of nature in Finland

that these people, there's psychological benefits of nature. Like they go to nature and they feel better about themselves. They also have a nice welfare state. So nobody's cast out of society for not performing. So rather than happy, there are more likely to characterize Finns as quite gloomy, a little moody and not given to unnecessary smiling. So they're just, they're just, these are different types of people. They're Nordic, they're not, they don't have that kind of manic highs and lows

that Americans have, but they have sustainable lives. Like their idea of success is being able to meet basic needs. That's the big difference between those Nordic countries and America. They want like basic needs, a little house, a little fish and a few potatoes, a little family, and they have art for art's sake. No one gives a shit about what the Finnish do. They don't have a Finnish ice spice. They have just this for the sake of it.

They have it for the sake of it. Like nothing in America is for the sake of it. Nothing. If you ain't trying to get big, it's not worth it in America. Nobody's enjoying anything. Everybody in the back of their head is thinking that whatever the hell they're doing is going to lead to something else. The Finnish don't believe that.

So the Finnish enjoy music and entertainment, but they enjoy it for the sake of it as opposed to Americans who are like trying to get their kids on the line for American idols so the kids can get famous and they can retire. Like Americans just are chasing fame and chasing money. This is part of our culture. We want fame and we want money. We don't really care about nature.

That does not do anything for us. We want fame and we want money. And if we're not famous and rich, we want our kids to be famous and rich. You know, the Finns don't feel like that. They want their kids to have a little house, a little fish, and little potatoes. And that's fine with them. That's a nice way to live. America, we want our kids to be famous first.

And rich. We want our kids to be big time. Big time. We want to tell people like that's my kid. We don't care if they have face tattoos, if they're on drugs. We don't care if their lives are ruined. We don't care if they're in debt to record companies. We don't care if Hollywood is molesting them.

We don't care if they're being exploited by everyone in their lives. We don't care if they're... If literally their manager and agent are stopping them from killing themselves and throwing them back out on stage, none of that matters to us. As long as they are famous and rich, that is fine. That is fine. And then the next step, if they're not famous and rich, is like good job that you can tell people about a decent house, big house,

nice wife, nice kids, like look at that. But first and foremost, we'd like them to be famous and rich. And the Finns aren't doing this. Their lives are not built on this unsustainable rat race that Americans are in. Americans are constantly in this rat race of being the best at everything, the most successful, putting in the most time, getting the big job, getting the corner office, getting the big house and the pool and the cars, but the Finnish people.

But again, I don't know what's better. I don't know what's better. I don't know what's better. Is it better to have a little house with a little fish and a little potatoes and it's a tiny little house and no one really speaks? They speak occasionally? Or is it better to live in a McMansion where everybody in their rooms is plotting against everybody else

and they're plotting to try to get their lives where they want them to be? I don't know. I don't know what's better. Do you want to live in a place where you get excited by something as stupid and gay as nature? Is that like something that you want to be a part of? I mean, it's easy to say that, yes, Americans are sick and our value system is wrong.

It is. And our country is rotted, it has. But the flip side of it is like the Finns have never had any impact culturally on the world. And you could say, well, America's impact is now negative. Well, maybe I'd agree with you. But we've certainly done some good things. We've done a British movie, you know, or something in terms of music.

I mean, I don't know. It's not as easy to just say like, hey, the Finns are the happiest people in the world and we should all take a page out of their book. I don't know if that's just easy to say is people believe. Like if people really want to do that. Spring is sprung and our friends at Manscape, the leaders in Below the Way is grooming, have the best tools for some spring cleaning in your pants.

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This is interesting, and this goes right to my point. Public funding for education and the arts, including individual artist grants, gives people like his wife, Herta, a mixed media artist, the freedom to pursue their creative passions. It also affects the kind of work that we make, because we don't have to think of the commercial value of art,

said Mr. Kiski. So a lot of what these artists make here is very experimental. Listen, Herta sucks. And she's making a lot of crap. And the reality is the government's funding that crap, and there's nothing wrong with that on its face. But the reality is it's not good. Mixed media art is rarely good.

And there's no way that this bitch is doing anything good. There's no way. There's no way that, first of all, I know some of the biggest losers in the world. If you were to give them grants from the government to make sure that they didn't have to work, and they could just make art, it would not make the art good.

It wouldn't. It would relieve the financial burdens on them, but that wouldn't necessarily make them valuable as artists. So I mean, can we get some of Herta? Is there anything that we can see here from Herta? The Finnish mixed media artist, because I want to be proven wrong, but I have a sneaky suspicion that it's a waste of everybody's time.

It could be, yeah, Herta. Here it is. Hurtakeiski. Hurtakeiski. Now, I could be wrong here, but this is what you get in a country with a social safety net where people, you know, are, you know, satisfied. And I'm not, what is this? What am I even looking at? What is it? I kind of like that.

This is called after the end. I kind of like that. That's not bad. After the end. What do you even see here? Well, it's like a picture of a, it's, I don't know, but I, it's not horrible. Well, now go up there. What is this with the two? What is that? Two eggs?

Oh boy. This is what you do when you don't have to think of the commercial value of art and everybody's satisfied to just loaf around and eat a little fish and little potatoes. What else? What other masterpieces? What is that? A torture chamber? I think it's like a, yeah, I mean, again, you know, are you trading this?

Are you trading Tina Turner or Elvis or, or, or Biggie for this for her top? Let's be honest. These are the questions we have to ask ourselves. Is that what we want? Do we want a society where we don't have run DMC, but we have this where this bitch took scrunchies and put them on a metal pipe and is calling this art. And that's what the government pays for. The government pays for this bitch to put scrunchies on a metal pipe and call it art. And that's what they pay for.

You know what I think would make her better? Working at Taco Bell for minimum wage and then fighting her way out of that. Sorry, Herta. So I don't know, it's not as simple, but another, another thing I wanted to talk about to deviate from this point a little bit. I, and this is we're staying in the realm of art because I do, I'm getting more into art now because it's, it's, by the way, you know, I, I, I've been lucky enough to do well enough to own a few homes, but I don't really have art.

So if you wanted to send me the end of something on Instagram in DM, if you're an artist that does cool shit, I will pay you maybe potentially to do some work for something like I have a house on Long Island and I want like trying to think what I want as like a painting for that house. I don't know yet, but maybe we'll correspond if you're a good painter, not if you're not good. Don't, don't contact me if you're not good. I want to see your work that you've done, like maybe in a gallery setting. I mean, what's funny about that?

I want to, I don't want somebody, you're not going to try this out for the first time. But if you're an established painter, maybe we can work together on like a nice piece of art. Now, I want to talk about something because, you know, when you have successful parents, often your passions are subordinated because the reality of their lives are so big that you are relegated to the background, especially as an artist. What's nice about the Biden family is that is not the case. What's positive about the Biden family is there's an artist in the family and they allow him to stand on his own and present his work. Now, this is from the post.

Hunter Biden works featured alongside Art World Heavy Hitters. Hunter Biden is back in the Big Apple as his newest work will be featured in a New York show alongside some of the Art World's renowned abstract painters. Bridging the abstract, a group exhibition that opens April 6th at the George Berger Gallery in Soho includes some of the first son's latest works alongside paintings by Elaine de Kooning and Helen Frankenthaler. I mean, listen, so Biden 53 will be on hand for the opening. He's coming in for the opening. You would think that they would stash him somewhere. You would think they'd go, you turned in a laptop of you fucking whores and you smoke and crack and waving guns around. Your father is the president.

You have to go away now. And we basically have to start telling people you're dead. No. No, no, no, no, no. They are supporting him as he has an art exhibition in Manhattan. That's a good family. That is an understanding and encouraging family that after everything he's done, the crack, the whores, the guns, dating his brother's wife, all of that, dead brother's wife, all of that. They're still like, hey, he's an artist.

Hunter's an artist. No matter what, he's got a show and it's coming into election season and they don't care. They do not care. Over the last several months, investigators have demanded details on collections, on collectors who paid for Hunter's art, which has been valued between 75,000 and 500,000. What will he do with the money? Now, such a great idea, by the way, to give him hundreds of thousands of dollars. Where will that end up? Now, among the other painters featured in Bridging the Owl, who cares?

I will say this, it's nice to see a family supporting a god. Can we get into that? I would love to go to this thing because I will support. How great would it be to own a Hunter Biden original? Is anything any good? Do we have any, can we see some of the work that might be displayed? Is that one? Yeah, this one's called Haiku.

That's not bad. It's better than that bitch in Finland. This is my point about America. This is the point. What makes you a good artist is a crack addiction and having your father be the president. You don't get that in Finland. But this is actually good. Go up to Haiku again.

I like this. I like Haiku. Make that big. This is good. This is much better than that bitch in Finland. I'll tell you this. I'm fully on board. Is there anything else?

Can we look at anything else from him? Because this is not bad. But this is what I mean about the struggle making the art. The struggle makes the art. If you give everybody everything and, you know, they have a simple life. Now, you might say to me, well, Hunter is a very privileged kid. Well, of course he is. But his life was so insane that he got, he became a demon from hell,

which is what made the art good. He wasn't walking around going, oh, the nature is so pretty. He was smoking crack in the Ukraine and running scams that got us into a war. That is, that's why we have good art. Take a look at that. This is nice. I actually like this. Can I get in?

Is there a way to get in? Can I just get in? I will bid on these maybe kind of, not really, but I might. Is there a way to get in this gallery? Look this up, please, because I don't want to miss this. I actually enjoy the work. I was a junkie myself. I didn't do great work when I was on Crizzle, but I was on Coke, not crack.

Maybe that's why. But I'll tell you right now, I support the guy and I like that his family is pushing him more front and center, even with a laptop of crime or what looks to, well, it is definitely crime, but could be even much worse than we know. A scandal potentially. It's great that the family is just kind of pushing him front and center and going, hey, no matter what, he's an artist. Hunter's an artist.

And we're going to treat him like that. I'm, hey man, you talk about a supportive family. You talk about a mom and a dad that give a shit. Well, the dad, I mean, the mother is not. I don't think Jill's the mom. She might be. I can't keep track. That family's had so many fucking problems.

We're indicting president Trump, by the way. I mean, you look so happy. I'm going to the scout. By the way, when is this? April 6th. So there's a chance it'll be going on when you're in New York too. Fuck. I'm in Minnesota, I think, or Grand Rapids.

I forgot. Can we call the gallery right now? Call the gallery right now. They're probably closed. Call the gallery right now. I want a hunter. I want a Hunter Biden original. I want a Hunter Biden original right now.

I want to, I will, I will, I need to get invited to that gallery because I want one of this guy's paintings. He's much better than this bitch Herta in Finland, who was not impressive at all. I'm glad you're happy because the rest of your shit sucks over there. They're probably not going to answer. It's after hours. But this is a big event. I don't know that it will matter.

Maybe I'll leave a message. Nobody works. You'd think for the Hunter Biden show, they'd stay open late. He likes late night stuff, late night activities. He should have just painted a laptop, to be honest. That would have been kind of cool. All right, fuck it. They're not going to answer.

If they're not going to answer, then fuck them. But I do want to, I do want to go and see what he's got going on. How many of you wish there was a better solution to paying off your debt? PDS debt has customized savings options for anyone struggling with credit cards, personal loans, collections, medical bills, with rising interest rates and the cost of living at an all time high. That was the time to finally take initiative with your debt. Stop waiting and start saving with your own custom debt savings options from PDS debt.

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Obviously no president should be above the law, but they all are. And presidents have done so many different things from legalizing and authorizing torture, violation of the Geneva Convention. And I know they ran legal cover from that by having their lawyers write whatever the hell they wanted to. And we've had Obama with, you know, the warrenless wiretaps and the drone strikes and killing an American citizen and all this stuff. Now, of course, we can always say that, like, well, they didn't really break any laws because they just brought a bunch of lawyers in the White House and said,

make up a rationale for us to do this. And they do. But it's amazing. This is the only thing they've got Trump on. He's a real estate developer. And these shady fucks, the real estate people, they pay off everybody. This is what they do. They just pay people to shut up.

They pay people to do what they want. This is also what wealthy people do, right? Former President Donald Trump's indictment by New York Grand Jury has thrust the nation into uncharted political, legal, and historical waters because this is the first time that a president has paid off porn star. And we've known about it, I guess. Bill Clinton has done it and we knew about it. But Paula Jones, I think who he paid off is not a porn star, although she maybe had done porn.

This is the first time a president has been indicted after leaving office. The Manhattan District Attorney's Office has been investigating Trump in connection with his alleged role in a hush money payment scheme and cover up involving adult film star Stormy Daniels. So my thought on this and my entire belief system here is that this feels like a stunt. And I think it'll backfire and I think it could only help Trump. And I think this is what people have done since Trump has emerged onto the scene.

Every attempt to take out Trump has only served to help him because what Trump's really good at is fighting. And what he's really not that great at is governing. He's got too many things that get in the way, his own ego, his petty behavior, his inability to be loyal to certain people, throws people under the bus. He's got a lot of personal issues that prevent him from carrying out a governing strategy. But what he's really, really good at, what he's amazing at is fighting. When he's up against the ropes, he's good.

So I don't see this doing anything but helping him. This is something that he'll probably coast and win the nomination. Ron DeSantis is boring. He's fucking boring. Whatever you say about him. I certainly don't believe he's Hitler. I don't believe any of the things people are saying. Some of the stuff he's doing down there is probably an overreaction. But I do understand where it comes from. We'll talk about that in a minute. Ron DeSantis is a boring bully. He looks like a cop. None of it's not coming together.

I mean, I watched this guy and I was incredibly, immediately after Trump, I'm so bored by Ron DeSantis. I'm like, oh my God, it's like a cop who comes into school talking about drugs with the intended purpose of getting you to rat on your friends. Like that's the type of energy Ron DeSantis has. Like a cop who's trying to get you to nark on your boys because he's like, now listen, we found this bag of weed and we called the police. You know, and then the cop shows up and he's like, this is a serious matter. And the only way to handle this is for someone to come forward or if you know who's weed this it.

Like that's the energy Ron DeSantis has, like a school cop rat energy, not what Trump has, which is a crazy riverboat, captain, casino, gambling, tycoon, psychopathic energy, which we're all used to. We're all used to that energy because it's more fun. So Ron DeSantis, like play any clip of Ron DeSantis talking about anything. I mean, anything about anything. We're bored. I mean, I'm like, can someone, I mean, I'd rather watch season six of House of Cards. That's the bad one without Kevin Spacey.

That's right. Long Island. Oh, I stopped that for a minute. I love that DeSantis is doing rallies in Long Island because he knows like, he's like, I got to win. If I can win over these psychopaths, you know, people just show up with a bacon egg and chop. So excited. I'm going to be there for a few months coming up soon. By the way, third show at the power mount is on sale.

We sold that to the third show or about a little less than half sold, but it's, it's coming up. So if you want to get tickets, you can. And listen, and here's the reality. I know many of you are budgeting. There's still enough for the Percocet. There's still enough for the booze. Long for DeSantis to address Trump's indictment. He wants to downgrade felonies to misdemeanors.

Really, really dangerous stuff. And then what does he do? He turns around, does a flimsy indictment against a former president of the United States. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis wasted no time. Get a speech out of just him talking. This is the news covering him. But if you just get him speaking, you will see how truly boring he is. It's just, it's, it's the tone.

You know, Trump had this musicality to when he talked. It was interesting. It was like listening to a jazz band. And then Ron DeSantis is just very, it's, there's, it's like a dull, go to his victory speech. Even that was dull. He's just dull. Thank you very much. Well, thank you so much.

No. Over these past four years. This isn't going to do it. We've seen major challenges for the people of our state. Nope. For the citizens of the United States. It's not going to happen. And above all for the cause of freedom.

We saw freedom in our very way of life and so many other jurisdictions in this country wither on the vine. Florida held. Yeah. See, I even agree with what he's saying, but it's like, he's just not, it's not going to do it. I mean, Trump, as my friend Ray said, will beat this guy from a prison cell. I mean, Trump will win the election like Nelson Mandela in a jail. I don't know if Nelson won an election in a jail, but I know he was jailed. But my point is that I just don't see Ron catching Donald here.

I don't, you know, listen, again, if you let them just have a campaign where Trump had to answer for certain things, like, again, you know, more and more is coming out about the vaccine every day. I think the W I think the World Health Organization is like now it's not recommended for healthy teens. I believe that and children, which is big if that's the case. Trump authorized. Trump was like, this is the vaccine is the big, you know, success story of my presidency. This is, you know, my administration, right? So Trump also shut things down. DeSantis kept them open.

The World Health Organization's vaccine experts have revised their global COVID-19 vaccine vaccination recommendations and healthy kids and teenagers considered low priority may not need to get a shot. That's big. This is big. This is actually massive. This is literally a massive thing. The World Health Organization is like, yeah, I guess not. This was the thing that they were firing people for. This is the thing that Trump said was the biggest achievement of his administration.

If DeSantis was kind of hitting him on that without being so fucking boring, and if Trump and if the story wasn't Trump's bullshit indictment, the story might literally be like, oh, DeSantis kept it open. Trump actually kind of folded a little bit and, you know, hyped all of this stuff, the vaccine, that it was a big achievement. And the reality is it's just not, it hasn't done what anybody wanted it to do. And now the WHO is coming out and going, listen, we don't know if kids and young adults need it. And that's because of the myocarditis or that crazy shit. I'd be thrown off YouTube if I said any of this a year ago or two years ago, but now this is all common. The news has to now use phrases like, he's a 19-year-old. It was a routine heart attack.

That's happening now. So there's this major, so there's things that you could hit Trump on that you wouldn't even think you could. But now the whole narrative is going to be dominated by the fact that he paid off or maybe paid off a porn star into a campaign finance violation, which no one really gives a fuck about. So this just does nothing but helps him. He's probably going to be back. I don't see anyone beating him. DeSantis has a record that Republicans will embrace, but the actual guy is just not as electric as the Don. It's just, I'm sorry.

And I thought Trump was done a few months ago. I thought he was finished. And I was talking to people at dinner and it was like, he's done. And now he's indicted. I think he's got a better chance than ever. Now I'm like, I think he's in again. I think he's in again. He's been indicted.

But that's the word. That's Trump world rules. You don't understand Trump without the indictment, you know, just fading away. That announcement he had at Moralago, his passion was in there. You know, but he's gotten better. He's gotten more. She's gotten a little sharper in this campaign and he was indicted. So now he's digging in and fighting, which is what now it could be wrong.

He could still crumble. It might not work, but I give him a better chance now than a lot of things. A lot of people keeps his great. People are bald and sometimes that sucks. The reality is a lot of people are trying to stay with their hair and you know how they do it. They got to keep the hair they have on their head. That's the way to do it. Two out of three men will experience some form of hair loss by the time they're 35.

More than 50 million men in the U.S. suffer from male pattern baldness. Keeps us more five-star reviews than any of its competitors. I had a friend. I'll tell you a quick story here. I had a friend whose wife sat him down one day and said, listen, if you lose the rest of your hair, I'm going to leave you. And he said, what do you mean? She goes, well, I don't really love you.

We got married very hastily and I didn't know you were going to lose this much hair. She goes, the reason I've stayed married to you is for our child. I don't want her to witness a divorce. I want her to have her parents together while she grows up, but I don't like you. I don't even, I don't love you, but I don't even like you. And I would get out of this if not for the kid, Bianca. And he said, well, this is coming as a shock. He goes, but I don't really even love you.

Really? He goes, you're right. We did get married kind of hastily, but we had this beautiful young daughter, Bianca. We both love. And he goes, I don't even know why we call her Bianca. Who even came up with that name? And she goes, what was, I think it was like a great aunt of mine who I used to always visit. And she was kind of a wealthy spinster who drank a lot.

She'd let me drink a little wine every now and then. And he's like, our daughter's named after an alcoholic. And she's like, well, not an alcoholic. She was just kind of fun. And I don't know. I feel like she was like a fun, free woman, but he goes alone, like a spinster. Like she was alone. She had a husband.

We don't know what happened. Would she kill him? No. But anyway, that's who we named our daughter after. And he's like, I never even knew that. I didn't even know that we named our daughter. And I thought you were like closer with her than that. And she was like, well, I would go see her sometimes in the summers.

She was like this wealthy woman in Bianca who just got drunk and she would let me drink. And he goes, all right, well, I'm glad that's who we named our daughter after. And she's like, well, whatever. It's a pretty name. He goes, yeah. And she goes, well, listen, we don't love each other, but we've got this kid and we can't really afford to get divorced, right? Because our two incomes pay for this little dump of the house that we live in.

And I don't hate the house. Sure, the yard's not as big as I'd want it to be, but it's fine. And during the summer, Bianca's friends can come over and at least she has a backyard to play in. She's living the life that, you know, that we think is good, a suburban kid life. So if we break up, we both get shitty places and we're shuffling her from one place to another place. It's not a good idea. So I think we should stay together for as long as humanly possible to give this child a chance at life. And she goes, I'm going to get you keeps.

That way you can keep the hair that you have on your head. And he goes, really? He goes, do I have to go to a doctor? She goes, no. You actually never have to go to a doctor's office ever. It's easy to get refill reminders. You'll never run low on the products you need and you'll keep your hair. And he goes, this is amazing.

He goes, I almost love you again, but I really don't. LOL. She goes, listen, I get it. He goes, well, I don't understand this stuff. I'm new to this. She goes, well, they have 24 seven care and support. So you don't have to talk to me if you have a problem. They have a network of medical advisors, prescribers and care specialists to support you in making your hair goals a reality.

And he goes, well, I bet this is going to cost an arm and a fucking leg and you're going to throw it in my face all the time that you're the reason I have hair. And she goes, listen, it's low cost. Treatment plans are affordable. Typically have the cost of pharmacy prices. So the reality is he goes on keeps. This is true. He goes on keeps and he, he literally does not lose any more hair. Then God, he went on when he did because it takes treatments four to six months to work.

He doesn't lose any more hair. Okay. So she comes to him and she goes, listen, now that you don't, you're not losing your hair anymore. I can't believe this. But I'm actually starting to get attracted to you again. You know, I know I told you I didn't love you and I still don't. But I feel more attracted to you now that you, you're keeping your hair like you're doing something good for yourself. And he goes, you know what?

I got to be honest. I feel more confident. I feel better. And I feel like this is good that I have hair, right? So he goes, maybe do you think we can try to love each other? Could we, could we try to do this? Not only for Bianca's sake, but for ours. We don't want to be miserable in this home.

Okay. So they go out to dinner. They go out to dinner one night in a little place called Long Island, New York. And they take two separate cars because many couples that hate each other do. He was coming from work and this was date night. It's date night. And they go out for date night. And they actually have a great time.

It's like they're meeting for the first time. He has hair and she's the reason for it. And they're eating and drinking and having a great time. And it's amazing. And it's actually like, you know, this is fixed. And he says to her, he goes, you think I can get lucky tonight? She goes, you might just get lucky. And you know, they hadn't been having sex.

So this was a big deal. And it's all because he went to keeps.com slash Tim Dillon. It's all because he went to keeps.com slash Tim Dillon. So they have this great little dessert. It's a raspberry cheesecake at the end. And it's getting very fun and flirty and sexy. And they both leave to go home. She is hit by a drunk driver going the wrong way on the parkway and she's beheaded.

He gets home and he doesn't call her right away because he thinks that potentially she's picking up some sex stuff. So he doesn't call her and he keeps calling her phone and it's going to voicemail. And he's like, oh, beyond God, mommy's coming home soon. Mommy's coming home soon. And then he gets the call from the state troopers. And he goes. And his head's racing a million miles a minute.

And he goes and he sees her. And he has to identify her and it's just the head. And he asked the state trooper, can he hold her head? And they're very uncomfortable with this. And they don't want to let him do it. But he just, because he's left Bianca with the grandmother, and then he just holds her head for a minute, not in a gross way, not in a morbid way, but he's holding her head and he's running his hands through her hair.

And then he starts running his hands through his hair. And he said, her legacy on this earth will be my hair. Her legacy will be my hair. Keeps.com slash Tim Dillon. If you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss, do it. The Nashville shooter, let's talk about this as a sticky situation because the Nashville shooter was a trans shooter. And a lot of people are going back and forth about that and what that means. Now there's been a few people, a few shooters that have been trans recently.

Now the vast majority of shooters obviously have not been trans, but there's been a few shooters recently that have been trans. And I wanted to talk about this because I was sitting there on the plane in first class, and I was thinking, and by the way, what's good about United first class is it's first class, but is it, you know? I mean, it's like, what are we doing here? And I was sitting there, I was thinking about the trans issue because it's so, I was listening to this podcast that Megan Phelps Roper did with J.K. Rowling about, you know, the trials of, the witch trials of J.K. Rowling about, you know, the author of Harry Potter and how much flak she got for just waiting into that issue, right?

And saying, men and men and women are women and trans men are trans men and trans women are trans women. But there's a difference between biological women and trans women. And this is what J.K. Rowling said, and then everybody went nuts and got angry. She's still a billionaire and she's still fine. But I was listening to this, I was thinking about this. I was thinking about, I'm like, how did this invade our politics to the level that it has? How does this suck the energy out? I mean, we don't talk about anything anymore.

The banks almost collapsed two weeks ago. Still, we don't even talk about it anymore. No one speaks of it. The border is a mess. No one speaks of it. No one speaks of it. It's trans, trans, trans every day, every minute. And it's weird.

It seems a bit a little designed, to be honest. Listen, the trans community in America has existed forever. There's always been people that have felt like they are in the wrong body. They have a condition called gender dysphoria. And they've gone to certain links to fix that. Obviously hormones and surgery and things like that have gotten better. Technology has gotten better. People have been able to physically transition in ways they couldn't if they had those feelings years ago.

But the trans community has been around in America for a pretty long time. And it hasn't been this contentious thing where everybody is fighting over it, right? Women that were born biological men that then transitioned to women, a lot of them would use a woman's bathroom. And maybe there'd be some people making comments, and I know that trans people have dealt with bigotry, and they've dealt with violence, and they've dealt with all that shit. And gay people have black people.

Any minority really has dealt with that, right? 100%, I'm not saying they haven't. But for the most part, this wasn't the issue it is now. And you'd imagine, see, this is what I would think. If the medication was getting better, the hormones, whatever they're taking, testosterone, estrogen, whatever it is, if surgeries were getting better, people were getting more, this was easier, maybe even cheaper to do. This would be being diminished as an issue, and not like blowing up.

It seems like the medical advancements would make these things easier for people to do if they felt like they really needed to do them, and this wouldn't be such a big deal. It would be a very personal thing. People would go, hi, I'm Jack, and now I'm Jill. And your friends and family would go, hello, Jill, you know, or whatever. Or they'd go, you're going to hell. Whatever it is, it would be a personal thing between you and the people that you know, your close friends and family.

But now this leaves out kids, right? Because this is why this has become such a controversial issue. It is specifically about what ideas should children be confronted with and at what age? What age do children need to learn certain things? And once those children have learned those things, what age is it appropriate for those children to make medical decisions about their future and their life? And that's really the point that has become incredibly divisive, right? Let's leave out for a second the Drag Queen story hour, which we've talked about before on the show.

And that seems to be the, you know, the cultural battleground of the day, the Drag Queen's reading in the library. But the deeper issue, the more important issue, is can a seven-year-old make a decision about who they are at that age? I say no. Most people I know say no. The most gay people I know say no to that. Most reasonable, rational, sane people say that when you're under 18,

you're going to go through all kinds of weird feelings, and you're going to have hormones or raging, and you're not going to know exactly what direction you want to go. Many of the people that don't end up transitioning, that have feelings like this, end up being gay or lesbian, and it's strange. It's an odd fixation with bringing these issues to children and letting children make decisions about who they are. It doesn't make any sense if you've ever met children. This makes zero sense that teachers and schools are telling children you could be any gender that you want to be today.

That is not a conversation for math class. This is most people that... Now, I have friends that are more liberal on this issue. They're more progressive, and they say, well, there are such a thing as trans kids. And I say, well, I believe that to be true. Of course. But I still think I don't know if they should be blocking puberty. They should be taking pharmaceutical drugs.

They should be denying themselves the opportunity to go through puberty and see if any of that changes or alters the way they feel about their gender. There's always a way to correct things later in life. I know people that have transitioned in their early 20s, and they're living lives, and they're happy. So I think that's what it comes down to. It comes down to kids and children. For most people, listen, there's people that hate trans people. There's people that don't want trans people around.

There's people that are going to hate everybody. People that hate everybody no matter what. You can fix hate on those people, but the vast majority of people don't care. They don't. They just don't want children being introduced to certain ideas before those children are ready for it. That's what most people do not care. They're not sitting around hating you if you're gay. They're not sitting around hating you if you're trans.

They don't really have the time. This is not a country that like, you know, people don't have the time to be as hateful as maybe they'd want to be. They don't have the time. They're running around. They just don't want children being exposed to certain things because children are very confused by their nature. They're kids. They're easily, it's easy for, and some of these parents with the trans kids, I have a soft spot for. But then some of them, and I'll get a little bit of trouble for saying this, but most people will understand what I'm saying.

Some of the parents, it's a little like a munchausen's by proxy where it's like, they are taking a lot of interest in this thing that their kids are feeling. And it almost feels like the parent is somehow deriving some type of, and munchausen's is where you make your kids sick. And I'm not saying being trans is being sick, but I'm saying a lot of these parents are being very encouraging to their children and maybe steering them knowingly or unknowingly into being trans, perhaps. Because parents are sometimes, you know, I had friends that their parents were very encouraging and trying to help them a lot. And what it did was the opposite of what they wanted it to do. And I don't mean that you should, if your kid has these feelings, you shouldn't shut them down. But I don't know if you should parade your kid around like a political statement. And I see some parents doing that.

And I wonder about the health, the mental health of those parents that are parading their children around like a political statement instead of a human being. That doesn't make any sense to me. That's a little weird. And as far as the sports thing goes, it's so hard for me to come up with an opinion here that, like, is anti-hitting women, because sometimes they do need a tap. But it seems in combat sports, specifically, biological men have a little bit of an advantage even after they've transitioned. So watching them beat women, although there may be reasons not to ever beat a woman, but to give her like a 1920 style tap, just a light one, it's a comedy show. But the point is, what I'm saying is that it's very difficult for me to just have to say we really shouldn't just hit, we should just not hit women. But I'm going to do it.

I'm going to say it, we shouldn't hit women. So I don't, again, if you want to compete in those things, but the reality of the situation is also if you're like a female athlete and every female sport is now dominated by a trans-female athlete, there is a conversation to be had. The good news is all of these things can be solved by common sense and rationality. And then we can go back to talking about the banks failing, the nuclear war, and things that I consider to be more important. Because I think there is a rational, reasonable, I don't want to say middle ground, because, you know, the word middle ground implies that, like, there has to be some great compromise made. I don't think there has to be any compromise made. I think that people should, listen, if you bring your children to Drag Queen Story Hour, that they're your children. They're your children.

If you bring your children to get hormones, they're your children. I don't, I think you're doing them a great disservice. And there are certain states that are going to ban that. And there are certain states that won't. But, you know, there are families and there are people that are going to have kids and they're going to raise them in whichever way they see fit. I just think the whole thing, because I was thinking about this today on a plane, look at trans, everything is trans. And then you look around and you're like, where are all the trans men? And there's a few of them for sure.

But they're not everywhere. This is a small group. This is a minority of people that should be protected with rights. Like they should have rights and obviously people that fuck with them should go to jail. Like people that fuck with any group or anyone in general should go to jail. But it's such a big issue and it so dominates everything. And I'm like, this bitch, J.K. Rowling, wrote a book called Harry Potter, which Christian people were saying was a devil book. And, you know, George W. Bush was like, she's promoting witchcraft and all these crazy things, right?

And so she got like that fucking feedback when Harry Potter came out. And then she made a billion dollars and she's got theme parks all over the world. And then she basically said, listen, women, you know, have the right to have spaces that are their own. And then people just went fucking nuts. They went nuts. And I'm not saying that on the other side that the people don't overdo it, right? Because, you know, the people that are obsessed with it on the other side who think that it's all about people trying to fuck their kids or it's all about this and that. And it's, we need to go back to a Christian theocracy.

That's not going to win a lot of people over either. Because I don't think it's all these teachers or pedophiles. I think these teachers are completely untethered from reality. And when people are untethered from reality, as many of them are, they push all of these ideological agendas that are not practical in any way. And that's what happens to people that get really into any ideology. They forget that there's an actual world out there with actual human beings that tend to behave in ways that aren't necessarily the ways that this ideology that you believe in would prescribe them to behave. And you forget that kids are fucking kids and they're going to be confused and they're going to take back things they say. And they're going to go, I don't feel that way anymore than this and that and the other thing.

But they're so wrapped up in the idea that there's a political thing here that these kids have to be themselves and stop trans genocide. It's like every discussion about trans rights cannot devolve into people screaming stop trans genocide. That's like crazy. It's like anybody that told me to eat better, I'd be like, stop that genocide. I just suggested you eat a salad like there needs to be we got to rain it in. We are a country of like people that are constantly on the verge of an emotional breakdown. Everyone you speak to is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. And every grifter in the world is out right now trying to make this into the biggest issue and we've let them.

I mean, it's every day. It's every every day. There is this issue and only this issue at the expense of so many other issues. So that that's my piece on it. Leave kids alone. Let them grow up when they're 18. They could do what they want to do. Some will do the wrong thing then, but you can't stop them.

You know, listen, I had friends that joined the military and their parents were like, we don't want you to join the military. You know, and for whatever reason, they're like, we're worried about you. We're in a war. This feels like Vietnam. This was during Iraq. So it's doing 2003. And I had friends that were joining the military and their parents were like, listen, this feels like Vietnam. This feels like not a great war.

I, you know, I understand that you want to join the military, but can't you just, you know, do a Long Island, you know, have a Long Island life, like live in our basement, sell drugs at home, like whatever, just wait it out. And some of my friends, I don't think, nobody, I knew died in Iraq. I knew friends of friends that died in the military there, but they joined the military because their parents didn't really have any control over them at that point. They graduated high school. They were adults and they were going to go and do what they felt like they had to do. But anybody who's fucking 13 or 14 years old, who has no idea what's going on, that may be being influenced by their friends or whatever. You know, this is not somebody who should be making permanent medical decisions about the rest of their lives.

This is not a, to me, this isn't like a controversial point of view. I know there's a gray area. I know there's kids that have legitimate real deal gender dysphoria. There are a few of them. Absolutely. It's not as many as you would think. And that can be dealt with, with, with doctors and, and therapists. And I still don't think even those kids should be making medical decisions, but that could maybe be a lot of like, you could be dressing a certain way.

You could be doing some cognitive behavioral therapy. There's all kinds of ways to handle it where it's not like, Hey, let's get fucking big pharma involved in giving everybody the solution to everything. I'm thinking a lot of people that take these drugs. I mean, if you watch this thing about the Tavistock Clinic in the UK, a lot of people that take these drugs aren't happier on the other side of that, because maybe there is a certain amount of people that are experiencing mental issues that are on the autism spectrum that are not, they don't genuinely have gender dysphoria. They're having weird feelings and they're looking around on the internet and going, I wonder what this is. And they're matching up some of those feelings with some of the things that people have that have gender dysphoria.

And they're putting them together. And now they're going, Okay, if I transition medically, it's going to help me. And then they do that. And then they don't feel the way they want it to feel, you know. So again, this is just, it always amazes me how much this has dominated the discourse. The answer to me is just so easy. And it is less is more helicopter parenting. I don't think it's a good idea.

I believe in the less is more system. The boomers were in this regard and this and the only regard great parents in this. And I talk about this on stage. I'm not going to do it here. Timdillandcomedy.com, but the boomer parenting style, which was basically you're talking, but I'm not hearing you. If you, if you were a boomer and your kids were talking, you were not listening unless they were bleeding. And then you were yelling at them for being hurt. Boomers didn't give a shit.

This is the one thing that I'm going to say, can we have an applause sound effect for the boomers? Because this is the one thing that the boomers get credit for. They did not listen to their children all the time. This is a huge thing for the boomers. And I think the boomers should be, yes, give them their due. They did not care what their children were feeling ever. They didn't care who their kids thought they were. The boomers were like, figure it out and get out of my house.

Get out of my house. You eat my food. Boomers treated you like a roommate. They met off Craigslist. My friend's mother would go, you ate the food, you used the shower, the water. I mean, but it's the one thing I will say about the boomers is that they didn't care. I think maybe we should return to letting kids be kids and letting them go through some shit and not taking everything they do seriously, not bringing them to a doctor,

not doing anything permanent to their body, letting them figure this shit out on their own. I truly believe it is the one area where the boomers were far superior to the parents we have now that it feels like they're just hanging on every word their 12 or 13-year-old says. It's just not a reality. So anyway, timdillacomedy.com for tickets. We're on the road till mid-June. We're in Chicago. We're in San Francisco.

We're in Milwaukee. We're in some cool places. We'll see everybody else in the fall. We're taking the summer off to podcast. And timdillacomedy.com on YouTube. You can like and subscribe. We're on Patreon. And we will see you there.

We'll see you here. Thank you so much. Good night.