The Tim Dillon Show - 342 - Call OJ Daddy with Stavros Halkias

Episode Date: April 16, 2023

Tim talks with Stavros Halkias about OJ Simpson’s case as the greatest American story, the plight of young actors and the food network. Live Shows: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows Bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow Netflix special: https://www.netflix.com/watch/81616382 SPONSORS: Manscaped MANSCAPED.com & Use Code: 'TIM D' RAYCON Get 15% at RAYCON.com/TIM ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch:  https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. We are here in New York City with my personal trainer, my guest, a man who's changed my life, who's made me understand that, you know, you can, you can indulge, but you just have to be accountable. You have to hold yourself accountable. We're doing the six cheat day a week system here.

Halkus Court, Halkus Fitness. Halkus, right there. By the way, like every, every boomer diet always failed because every boomer diet was like based on this crazy premise, which was the entire boomer ecosystem was all about themselves. So every diet was literally like, they're like, every diet like that my mother would explain to me,

she'd be like, no, no, no, no, no, no, I can have anything I want. I just have to be accountable. So if I have a chocolate cake, then I just have a glass of water later. I'm like, that's such fat logic too, where it's like, I remember just get my go-to move on the road was like, well, I'll get wings,

but I'm getting a salad as well. And that's equals out, completely equals out. That's some immigrant shit too of like, we'll make you a six course meal, spaghetti to open up, lamb chops, you know what I mean, a soup, a chowder, but then we got a nice light romaine afterwards. You're good to go. And you're fine.

You'll be okay. It's like such a fucking, it's a mind fuck out there. Now we were talking about the writer strike for before we started, which I know none of my fans have an interest in. And they tell me that, you know, they're like, I'm not a theater kid, fuck off. I don't want gay Hollywood machinations.

I don't want gay Hollywood stuff. I'm just wondering, because you are a labor leader. That's right. Do you know what's going on? I don't. You don't. I have no fucking clue. I mean, come on, dude, we're podcasters.

Where's Hasan Panker? What's going on? Give them what they want. My guess is just writers, once everything became digital, they were just like, oh, this is something we don't, there's no rules, so we just won't pay anyone. That's almost certainly what happened. And you hear about with animation where they're like,

they're like, okay, we're just gonna get, 6,000 Taiwanese 12 year olds to render each image instead of paying like real animators, or just like, they're just, anywhere they can fuck your ass, they will fuck your ass. Anywhere they can take it. Yeah, that's what it is.

And I have a thing happening now, and my interest in this isn't selfish, it's for the other people. Nobody loves writers more than they do. Nobody loves a Hollywood sitcom writer. Nobody loves a Hollywood sitcom writer. They've all been said lovely things about me on Twitter. They've said very nice things about my friend Joe Rogan.

I mean, nobody is closer with the Echo Park, Silver Lake, Writers Crew than I am, so my concern is for them. I wish some of them looked funnier, not that they're all comedy writers, but in that, can you bring up that WGA thing on Twitter? I didn't feel bad. They're not great at the marketing angle. They should have had like Andrew Schultz direct the WGA,

like Writers Gill, because it's just like sad sack, hipster pieces of shit, being like, it's not right. And you're like, oh God, you wanted a little more levity. I wanted just, you know. A whoopee cushion. I wanted them to just make people care, because I got a thing now with one of these writers,

good person, and he's like, you know, he's gonna do it. He's gonna strike, I get it, but then we're gonna be fucked. So it's Long Island, call me by your name. It's a Long Island, call me by your name. Everyone's obese. It's a very thinnest man in the cast. It's a very fat, call me. I was talking about this the other day.

I was talking about the trans thing the other day, and I saw you and Theo a little bit, and I'm like, isn't one of the issues that some of them are like getting fat? Because I think that like any minority can't be fat in the beginning. Like if gay people had come out and then immediately just like got in league with fat activism,

nobody, like they accepted hot gay men first. Yeah, you got it. Bears were not the first. They're not the Marines of being accepted. They're not the tip of the spear. No. You got a piece of ass. It's gotta be like hot people first

because then like straight people start going, you know, I might fuck that guy. I don't know. Then all of a sudden they're like, okay, maybe let's not kill that person. But you know, when fats start getting involved, people start, it becomes like, now you're fighting a war on two fronts.

Right, right, right. No, no, you're absolutely right. And I agree with you, Tim. Fatphobia, one of the biggest issues we're facing today. It is. Without question. It is atrocious. First of all, planes should only have, what, 20 people?

I would say one seat. I would say each plane should have like eight, like big suppliers. But you was a big man and myself, I call us people of size, but we understand that the fat activism is a little much. It's getting a little much, you know? I agree with that.

I understand that people are upset at it. No, nobody should be abusing fat. You shouldn't be walking around and you know, abusing them, but we can't. What does that look like? Walking around and abusing. Well, I talk about it in my act, you know. In the 80s and 90s, fat women just kind of abused.

Like fat women were just abused and people pointed to me like, look at this fat bitch. And there are people that want to go back to that because they're monsters. But we can't demand that the entire world remake themselves for the fat people. But I would say if you had, look, if you put the fat consumer forward in an airline.

Oh, I think the fat consumer is full. If you put the fat consumer on the forefront, everyone's having a better time. Right. A little extra leg room. That's a good point. I don't need more leg room. I need more width.

You know what I'm saying? On a plane seat. You're telling me that wouldn't be nice if you're some skinny piece of shit to be able to really, really open up those fucking. I think that if a fat person were to design a plane, even the thin people would have a lot more fun. A lot more fun.

It's a good point. Airlines would lose some money. They'd lose a lot of money. Biskoff cookies would be the healthiest option. Biskoff cookies. The fact that there's a cookie with no cream involved. There's no chocolate chip. They give us that glorified wafer.

And they tell us that's dessert. Well, you're in first class now. I'm in first class now. It's better. It's much better. It's the only luxury I'll never give up. I will live on the street. Yeah.

But I will never give up the first class. You get on first class and you're like, oh, you think this is going to be the best flight of my life? And you're like, oh, they treat you like a human being. Yes. And that's it. That's what first class is. It's just being treated like a human being.

When you were in the back of the plane, which I was for years, in a middle seat, wherever I could be. Is there anything worse than when you are on the aisle and it feels like fully, fully, fully, full plane. And they're like, this plane is mostly full. And you're like, fuck, someone's going to sit here. It's already done.

You're like, oh my god. People are fucking. They're flight attendants are putting everything up. And you're like, is this happening? Is this really going to happen? And then you see someone rush on the plane and they're elated. They made their flight last second. And then the second they see they're sitting next to you,

all that joy is gone. They're like, I should have just missed it. And I had an aisle to myself. I sat once on a plane. This is, I'm not even kidding. With two of the fattest guys in a row. It was to the point where, and we were in, by the way, we were in a row that was like, there's first class

and then there's like the Comfort Plus, whatever it is. We were in one of those first rows. So the people all, all looked at us as they were walking back. Every, like an attraction at the zoo. Every single person looked at that row. And it was like, God damn it, look it. Cause it never happens when you have three huge guys.

It was three big dudes. They're like, earn an extra cookie if you can tell us where his thighs end and his begin. Yeah, it was a tough, it was a tough. Just one massive flesh. Not one of us looked at each other. And not one of us said anything to each other. And all of our faces were of rage.

Oh dude, cause you're rage. I've absolutely been there when I get a fatt guy next to me. I'm like, the airline should step in. What the fuck is this? The government should step in. I'll turn into a Marxist right now. The government should step in. Look, if there was a child in first class,

they got to switch the fatty in the middle seat with that fucking trust one kid. Trust one kid. I hate, by the way, I hate children in first class. I hate them. I hate them on their iPads. I hate them so much. I hate the attitudes they already have.

100% telling the flight attendant, just ordering them around the way you would be embarrassed. It's horrible. More apple juice. Yeah, it's disgusting. I hate when a family's in first class and I go, oh, all of you are,

my family was never in first class. So when I see an entire rich family in first class, I'm like, ugh. Kids have to be, you want to get them comfort plus fine. You cannot be in first class. If I was a rich parent, I would just throw the kids in the back and go, guys, have some fun there.

Be independent, do some stuff. You know, whatever you want to do. This is your taste of what reality is. This is reality, man. For four hours at a time, you'll get it and never again. Yeah, otherwise, it's absolutely ridiculous. Do you think Bud Light suffers long term for this? Or have they even suffered?

Like everyone's going, they've lost $6 billion. I guess that's stock valuation. How do we even know that yet? I don't even know how we know. Also, didn't they, I wasn't really paying attention. I don't give a fuck that much. But apparently it was just like, I thought they said they made like a trans person,

they're like spokes first. No, it was like one thing. It was like they bought an ad on some girl's Instagram. Yeah, and everybody blew it up. And everybody was like, how dare they? And so you got to think, if you believe in like the no press, all press is good press.

Everyone's talking about Bud Light. You got retards buying them to shoot them with AK-47s. And then you have gay people fucking, you know, doing body shots with Bud Light now. It's like, you know. And then you got me, I'll sip a little Bud Light. I called Lewis Gomez about it because Lewis Gomez is Lewis Jay Gomez,

the proprietor of the gas digital networks. I called him and I talked to him, because I always talked to him about like stuff, like brands and marketing or whatever, like what do you think's going on here? And he was like, ultimately, he thinks it's a great move that like when, when Rogan was having his thing with Spotify,

there were thousands of articles that said the word Spotify and podcast in the same article. All of a sudden people now think of Spotify as the place for podcasts where they never did before. Even though there was controversy, there was this huge, so I'm wondering now if people are just, you know, if long-term it's better, what if they go not? Maybe maybe just maybe next is like,

oh, Jay, like keep going. Ooh, that would be sick. Keep doing very controversial. Which I really should be a pitch man. Yeah. What's he doing? He's just making. Well, he's one of the most well-adjusted people I've seen. I mean, to be honest, I mean, it's crazy.

Yeah. He's one of the most, like if you see him on Twitter, like, Of course. He makes good points. He's always like happy, smile on his face. Relaxed. Because I think he did what he wanted to do. Like, he was like, how many people could kill someone

who's bothering them? Get away with it. Get away with it. And then on the other side, be like, okay. Yeah. I mean, that's got, look, morality aside, it's got to feel awesome to get away with it. And not just like, not even just like he planned it out. He was studying for years. Crime and passion.

It was like he did it. It was so clear he did it. It was supposed to be done. Everyone knew he murdered his wife. He probably saw her and him fucking through the window and went, tonight's the night. Well, didn't he kill like her gay friend, not the guy she fucked?

No, Ron Goldman was the guy she was fucking. And he, I think, one of the theories is that he saw them through the window. Right, right, right. And was like, it's on. And then he went in there and, you know, cut their heads off. Which I'm against.

I'm against. Staunchly anti-decapitation. Staunchly anti that. That being said, I've never seen a person on social media that I feel is in a better place. Yeah, he's happy. And look, he's amazing. If you kill someone and you get away with it so publicly,

it's like, unless we're forgetting, the man is a hall of fame running back. The man is talented in levels that people will never be. He's an actor. That's his third act. He's a running back. He's been in, he was almost going to be the terminator. He was the finalist for the terminator

before Schwarzenegger got it. He's in all the naked gun movies. I might have to put him fourth in my most American lives. I have the people that have lived lives that can really only be possible in America. And my top three, it's in no order, but it's Donald Trump, Caitlin Jenner, and Alex Jones. And I might have to put O.J. Simpson as fourth

in terms of like, lives that are really only possible in America. For my money, dude, he might be right under DT. He might be. I agree with you. Because, yeah. Oh, I mean, just truly a star, and a USC. We haven't even thought about all the pussy he got.

Oh, you know what I mean? I mean, he killed it. He's got it. Literally, but he's. And now, now he's just in Vegas, having a good time. Nobody, he's become this like fun. And I think if people see him out now, like, I gotta be honest with you, I'm over it.

I think a lot of people are over it. I think a lot of, to be honest, I mean, I know what you're saying. You know what I mean? You're at the same, there's levels to that statement because you're, you know, having a nice, we're having a nice time here. But at the same time, I see him on, I see him online

and I don't think there's a murderer. I don't, I don't have any anger towards him. I think let's see what O.J. has got to say. I have no anger towards that man. If I saw him in Vegas, gentlemen, if you didn't already know it's tax season here in the U.S., Manscaped does work. Here's the thing about Manscaped, it really is good.

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That's a good problem. One time, my friend uses another. He uses the wall groomer. Right. He uses the wall groomer. Right. And here's a problem with that. It's not, it doesn't have the skin safe technology

that Manscaped does. So he was drunk and in the tub and he was using it. Warm bath too. Warm bath with a wall groomer and he cut off his cock. Blood out. He bled out. He was saved. But he's trans now because he said to his wife,

if it's gone, let's just explore other things. She was weirdly down with it. She's bi, so it's cool. He has a pussy. But two nuts. But two nuts and a pus and she loves it. And she's jamming them all the time. And she just fucks the shit out of him with a strap on.

It's fine. But that's a bad thing, by the way. But if you're not, that's one guy. And it's a one in a million. What are the chances that's happening to you? He says his life is better. He says his life is much better. But what are the chances it happens to you?

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I mean, how many people are doing that? By the way, everybody's probably doing that. 100%. And imagine him thinking like when he's standing there, you know, in court and all this horrible stuff's coming out. I wonder if he thought like, hey, man, this is all going to shake out. Yeah. One day Donald Trump will be the president.

Right, right, right. Bruce Jenner will transition to Caitlyn and then I'm going to be in Vegas and people are going to be actually coming up to me going, hey, I'm a big fan. The milk boys had him on the podcast. Like, he's kind of rehabilitated. He's kind of rehabilitated. Is it I would literally go up to OJ Simpson and go, I am a huge fan and I would love a photo.

I would get very confident he decapitated his wife and her lover. But I would I would absolutely go up to him and go, I am a big fan. Massive fan of yours. Can I get a photo and then I would put it on my Instagram and try to come up with a funny caption. And I think you figure it out. That's how over it. I am. Of course. I'm kind of over it.

I wouldn't do that with Dylan Roof. Sure. I wouldn't do that with someone I think is like, I think Dylan Roof is evil. Yeah. And because I think he went any targeted people based on their race. 100 percent. And I think that that there's something inherently evil about a person who walks into a church. Yeah. But a house in Brentwood where you're sucking off a waiter and a church.

That ain't a church. And there's just different. It's not a church. And I'm not saying it's right. I'm not saying it's not right. But is it a house of worship? No. Oh, yeah. Here's another fun.

Yeah. If you really want to spin and you really want to start getting crazy with it. Being pro OJ, the reason he what's one of the biggest signs of CTE is damage is brain damage, its aggression, its violence. So not only that, you could make him like, like, by the way, the NFL, when OJ Simpson dies, will drop a nuclear bomb on the funeral home that he's in so that science doesn't get ahold of his brain. Right. Because it like, truly, he got he went crazy

because he was one of the best. I mean, dude, that motherfucker was playing when they had like one strap, one helmet, right? You know what I mean? They had like one little thing. He was getting hit and taking hits all the time. Yeah, he's a gladiator for your enjoyment. In many ways, if you love the NFL, you killed Nicole Brown Simpson.

And a lot of people are OK with that. If you put it in those terms, they're good. A lot of people are OK with that. I got to be honest, because number one, people hate L.A. Right. They hate Los Angeles. They hate. I've never been a city. That is hated more kind of justifiably than L.A. No one cares a woman.

Now, this might be wrong. This is probably wrong, but a woman who's seen as a gold digger is not going to get the same level of sympathy as the juice. Then as it as the talented man who's made the money, I'm not. Hey, did I make the world? Am I God? I'm reporting what happens. If anything, this is a new show. This is a I'm a media figure, and I'm reporting the news

from the gas digital studio in New York. I've been we're litigating. Simpson murders. I got to be a gas digital studio. I got to be honest with you. There's not a man I'd be more excited to see in Las Vegas. You know, there's no. Could you think of a person in Las Vegas?

You'd be happier to see than OJ fucking Simpson. No, I mean, I guess carrot top Chris. I would ask him for weight loss advice. I would I would hold myself accountable. I may text OJ my steps every night. That's how much I respect. You want an ongoing relationship? I love the naked gun.

I read those are great movies. So like, there's a there's a version of me that's at the end of every night going, OJ. I only got 7500 in today because I'm on the road. He's like, don't worry about a brother. Try to hit 12 tomorrow. We all make mistakes. Try to hit 12,000 tomorrow.

He's like, keep the carbs, you know, after 3 p.m. No carbs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I. Let's let me also just throw this out, please. And this might not. Is he the worst father? Probably not. He's probably not the worst dad in the world. He's probably a pretty good dad.

And he probably compensates for the incident he had, right, right, by being a better father. I think this is the first place you're kind of starting to lose me. Really? I think murdering your mother really puts you. I would say I don't think it's ideal. But I'm wondering, do his kids still have a great question? I think they could could someone here look that up? Look that up. I love one of the producers here.

Look, see, guess what you have to do is walk out with a loaded gun. It's this is not the Jamie Vernon experience. You have to walk out. You have to put a gun in there. We kid, we kid. But I think they actually stop us. I think they do. Interesting. I think they have a pretty good relationship.

Because I did hear one theory that was that the son didn't. The son did. My mother was obsessed with that theory. I think I don't realize I was in a Comedy Central sketch about O.J. Simpson, what I'd like the producers to do, right, is if they can, I would like them to get up. Just say no, J. And this may be the first time it is. But O.J. was a big part of my life. Yeah.

This was the massive trial. We watched the verdict in fifth grade. Right. He turned it on in our school. There was a sketch called just say no, J. It was released on Comedy Central. It was one of these sketches that they would put between shows. And I played a kid who was playing with the DNA testing kit. My father in the sketch was playing with a Bronco.

And my mother was doing Marcia Clark's cookbook, who was the prosecutor in the case. And the idea was that the O.J. Simpson trial had invaded the home of every American family to an unhealthy degree. And Comedy Central's marketing campaign was just say no, J. Stop watching the trial. Start watching what we're doing.

Start watching reruns of Saturday Night Live. Yeah. And Mystery Science Theatre and whatever. Right. A premium blend. Do we have this? Let's watch. Just say no, J. I would love to. Let's watch this. So this is you as a child. This is the first time this has been played on my podcast, I think. Oh, oh.

Hey, that's my ball. Crushed it. I've been in this business for years, Trevor. Was it after that point that he told you he'd take the next flight? Yes. Wow, don't say no, J. From Comedy Central. Wow.

So congratulations, man. Thank you. But that's. Guest digital. The grotesque as. But that is where, you know, this is how big the O.J. Simpson trial was in the 90s. It's hard to explain to these youngins.

Now, your mother, when she was she was obsessed with the son, did it theory in an institution at the time or she? No, my mother only went in when I was in my 20s. OK, all right. Nice. So she like what happens with schizophrenia either comes on hard in the 20s or it's usually kind of later in life, hormonal menopause in the 40s, midlife crisis, 40s, things like that.

More common in women than men still happens in men. But usually it comes on early. Yeah. But there are cases where I think, hurt the hormonal thing. I think that's a lot of long COVID, not that it's schizophrenia, but it's menopausal. Right. Right. A lot of it's hormonal. Yeah. So the O.J.

So that was one of my first gigs, one of my first things I ever did. Nice. And we went to this house in Connecticut and my grandmother went with me and it was just like an all day shoot. But it was cool. Yeah. And it was like, oh, I'm in this. I'm in this thing now. Yeah. Wow. So yeah, O.J. O.J., one of your first paying jobs.

It was one of my first paying gigs. So like, I'm in the business because of the juice. Well, that's an important disclosure. It's an important disclosure. As a journalist, as we've covered. As a journalist, I want to make sure that everybody knows that I'm defending O.J., not the act, not the act, the totality of the person.

He's a job creator. The totality of the person. I, that was one of my first shoots, Sesame Street and that. And I've, you know, on Sesame Street, I did the poker with Snuffle Up, I guess, which we've played that, I think. Yeah. And, but that was my fur. And I did an NYU student film.

I've tried to get this guy to give me this student film. It's called Truck Stop. I don't want to say his name, but I do, but I won't. And I've tried, you know, at Nauseam to get this guy to give me the student film. And he has not released it to me. He's either embarrassed about it, but it's actually a great student film.

And I was nominated for an acting award when I was like, I don't know. I was like, maybe nine or something or 10 or 11. What's your role in Truck Stop? It's about a guy who abandons his family at a New Jersey Truck Stop. Nice, dude. And it's me and this woman and my sister. And we're all abandoned and we're at this dirty Jersey Truck Stop

and she's trying to get money and and it's like hard and whatever. And then this biker gives me his cheeseburger. He's like, Hey, you know, fucking burger. But I was like thin back then. I was a fucking piece. Yeah, dude. You know, so that is. And you I was never raped. You know, here's the thing that you made it out on.

I made it out on skates. I was going to ask. I was never touched because my parents were like my grandmother and mother were really paranoid. So if I went to a bathroom, my grandmother would stand outside the bathroom like making sure nothing happened. Now, if my parents were smarter,

they would have put my pussy on the street. The boy pussy on the stroll live in Bel Air. Dude, well, that's what I was going to say, is that it's kind of a shame because yeah, what happened to a man, the Binds or whoever is crazy. As I almost feel like you would have survived. I think you would have literally made a guy sign something before you sucked him off, even at nine.

I was smart. Let's not advocate for this, but I knew what I was doing. I knew what I was doing. Um, if I had to, what I'm saying is, yeah, if molestation is zero sum game, that's right. And you can save a child who was destroyed mentally and put me by going back in time and getting molested. You're not even, dude, you've never even met Louis.

By the way, you sign, sign me up. You wouldn't, you wouldn't even receive my call. Be here in the guest digital studio. You can be podcasting where it all started. You would have become an executive somehow. You would have started as an actor. Yes. And now, and you do feel bad though. It is horrible that obviously we're kidding.

Yeah, but it is bad, you know, and I'm not, I'm not accusing anyone of being molested, but you do see these guys at Cole Sprouse or whoever. Yeah. He's smoking the cigarettes on Cole or daddy. And he's just very like, you know, he seems like really out of it. And I don't know what it was, right? I don't, I don't, I don't know if it's molestation. It could have been Dylan. I don't know what Sprouse was.

Right. Oh, the, the guys from Big Daddy. You think it was Adam Sandler? No, I don't know what, I don't know. But it's like these, these, these, these kids that become successful actors. Rob Schneider on this side of Big Daddy is like, you can do it. Suck my penis. How embarrassing.

By the way, how embarrassing is that? You're like, I got molested on the set of Big Daddy. They're like, well that, that tracks. How shameful. But all these kids that went through Hollywood at a young age do seem insane. Yeah. For sure. You don't seem to get out alive.

Like they all seem a little crazy. Well, it's crazy insane to do. It's an insane thing to do. Like I, but I met a bunch of young, I'm doing this movie with Addison Rae. Yes. Who, you know, Perfect Blend. Me and Addison Rae, like a lot of people,

they're both, you know, listen, people like us because we're hot. We're sexy, we're young. We represent a lot of things to women. I, my fan base is mainly teenage women who are looking for, yeah, they're looking for advice. And my advice to all of them is keep your pussy away from me and don't vote.

Don't even register. Don't even register. It's not sexy. Is there anything less attractive than a woman voting? But I, I'm kidding. React to this, Asan. But no, I, what I think is like, so by the way, this Addison Rae, by the way, is lovely.

Like I hate that you walk in there and you go, I bet she's a bitch. Right, right, right. She's actually not. Well, she's like a nice, like lovely person. And I guess you would be, because it goes one of two ways. You're either a monster or you're not.

She was like a really fun, cool chick that reminded me, like, oh, like I get it. Like she's also really attractive. So it's like, in the head of a straight guy, I'm like, oh, this is, I get this. You know, here's my problem with a lot of the ear things. The ear pod, bed, pod, boots. Let's talk about it.

They're very expensive and you lose them. God dealism. I lose them all the time. I'm on my fourth pair. I wish I always had Raycons because Raycon is a premium audio brand at a perfect price point. So you can listen to what you want, when you want without breaking the bank.

I mean, Raycon is great. That's a lot of good stuff. It's really good. It's ear buds, but they're good. They're earphones. I don't know what I can say what these are, but they are good. They're cheaper. I mean, they have pay later options.

You can pay $18 and have new headphones. Are you nuts? Pay later. Pay later. Pay over three or four years for the headphones. It's fine. Because the reality is, here's the reality, that money that you could put into the Raycon,

like you said, oh, I'm going to buy the whole thing. Take that money, invest. Don't be an idiot. Crypto. Start a business with a friend. Currency arbitrage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Any of that stuff will do.

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Folks, I'm not kidding around. And I'm still paying it off. I'm still paying it off. I chose the layaway plan. I chose the layaway plan. And it's done wonders. I chose the layaway plan. I'll just tell people financially what I do.

You can follow me if you want. Doesn't matter. Yeah. What happened was, I was going to buy the full headphones. I decided not to. I decided to put $18 down to finance the rest. I took the capital that I was going to put into the headphones. I started a dropshipping business.

After the dropshipping business, I took my money, which I was also investing into cryptocurrencies. My cryptocurrencies were showing gains. I then took all my dropshipping cryptocurrency money and I started investing in real brick and mortar businesses like weed shops and CBD. So now I own all of the weed shops and CBD shops in Arizona.

That's awesome. I started buying into all of these. I'm private equity now with Blackstone, Steve Schwartzman, BlackRock. I work with Charlie Munger and Warren Buffett at Berkshire Hathaway with a lot of what I'm doing right now. I'm doing a lot of deals with Bob Lee, who is a executive in San Francisco.

Incredible. What did Bob Lee run? What did Bob Lee run? I couldn't tell you. Cash shop, right? So I'm doing a lot right now with Bob Lee and. None of that would have been possible if you had to pay for these headphones.

Yeah. RIP Bob Lee, he did just get killed. Oh, that's the guy who killed him. Bob Lee trying to do a bit. No one knows who Bob Lee is. Kind of do a finance bit. I totally get this. Yeah, she made you think for a second.

She made me think for a second that I had gone down the wrong path. Not that she'd be available if I chose. Not that like. No, no, no, no. Not that like the women that I would hook up with now are more masculine than men. Of course.

Like the women that would be available to me. Yes. I was in a diner last night alone on the way. Just walked up and I want my producers from California and she and we go. He ordered some faggy, you know, eggs or whatever. Yeah, egg whites. Some and I go, he's from California and she goes,

yeah, she looks at him. Where's your surfboard? Where's your surfboard? And I'm like, yeah, which is like, we're also on Long Island. They surf here. Yes, you know, but I'm like, but so. But she's actually and I'm doing this. There's a movie with these kids and they're young.

They're not kids or adults, but they're young, yeah, attractive actors. And they start at one time. They started to break out in song on the set. And that's just in the script or just for fun? Oh, just for fun. And they started singing Bohemian Rhapsody in the green room. And then you start realizing like, oh, they're theater kids.

Yeah, well, also their lives have gone so well. It's so well. Addison Ray's a perfect example. You got to realize if me or anyone I knew broke in the song at any moment, oh, my God, it would be a signal of such a mental break. Yeah, like such a full mental collapse. My agent, they would all go and go,

we got to get him in the wagon. Get him in the wagon, give him a couple of steroid shots and get him back out on the stage. But those kids, you would have been beaten as a child if you started singing. Unless it was like, we're doing it for money. Right, right, right. But their lives have been so good and they're so attractive.

And actually, here's the thing, they're very nice. They're all nice. Yeah, well, they're all rich too, right? Yeah. Imagine being like a rich girl. Like, yes, you could create, you're right. The opportunity is either like the biggest monster of all time, like this careerist climber

who has all the resources. Or, I don't know her at all, right? I've seen like a couple TikToks videos, but it just seems like everything has gone, like you can't have a more charmed life as like born into a rich family. And I think she'd admit that. She'd go, things are good.

Yeah, yeah. But she also works her ass off. She's doing acting like there's stuff about her where you're like, a lot of them don't, right? Yeah, and it's a romantic comedy and you're the two leads. We are the two leads. It's called what they're doing here. Spyglass has decided to end.

They've decided to end their company. It's a real throwback. It's a producer's. It's like, it's a nice spin on the Harvey Weinstein story. It's a nice spin on the Harvey Weinstein story. They re-imagined it as a romance. It's what if the actresses were like, found it nice? What if they found it charming?

When I was like, get in here, get in the room. You want to be in a Tarantino movie or not? No, I play a security guard who gets decapitated. This is not. I don't want to give away the lead. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, I'm not. There was a click of kids who were like,

they are the wrote rom-com. But that's also so smart though to like, I don't know what the project is at all. You told me very little about it. But it's genius to use those kids in something like that. Of course, who are you going to use? Us? Yeah, well, but it's like, you could

pick like, you know, more serious quote-unquote actors. But there is something, and I'm sure. I think acting at a certain level, like if you're young and good looking, what is that? Like, this isn't Philip Seymour Hoffman. Like, let's just be honest. What really is acting if you're young and hot? It's like, I'm mad.

I'm going to fight you because you look at my girl. Or I'm sad. No, it's not. Well, I mean, in a slasher, you don't need to act. But in any teeny-bopper, what is the cast of Wednesday? No offense. Yeah, I haven't seen it. I know one of them, but like, they're pouty.

They're pouty today. Yeah. And today, I'm angry. It's like, this isn't. It's like, because by the way, young people don't, like, unless they've seen their family burn in a fire, they don't really have that complex of emotions. So it's not that layered.

You're not like translating some really complex. Like, everybody talks about that scene in White Lotus where Megan Fahey does that kind of this brilliant thing where you could see her like realizing all these things on the beach just in her face. It's kind of a meh. There's none of that. Right.

We fucking Wednesday. Right, right, right. There's none of that in this slasher. It's just young people being hot and being like, I'm angry now. Now I'm mad, yeah. Well, I'm sure, I mean, Eli Roth is fucking a genius, right? He's a killer.

He did hostile. He's a killer. I mean, he's literally a killer. No, he's he loves. He's a brilliant horror director. But that's what so without knowing it, I would assume there's some like subtext there. Yes, where you cast TikTok kids.

I don't know what the project is. Like, like a good example is in like Starship Troopers where they just wanted the hottest, most plastic dumb asses because they're like, we're recreating basically propaganda, like Nazi propaganda. And so like, you look at the cast and it's like, yeah, the main leader looks like a gay porn actor, right? I mean, the lead and then it's like, what's her face?

Charlie Sheen's ex was just hot as shit, but not a good act. Right. So it's like, there is a time where you pick bad actors. Yeah, Denise Richards. Yeah, exactly. But here's the Casper Van Damme. I actually think this chick is probably pretty good. Interesting.

Because she takes it. I saw her on set. She actually takes it very seriously. Where I was kind of surprised. And I actually looked at it and I've been on sets. I was just on a set of one of the biggest films coming out where I was fucking up and yelled at by the director at like being screamed at.

And I'll be able to tell people what movie is. Hopefully my scenes in it, you know, the jury is out. I think it was great. I think it was great. I think it was great. And I want to, I don't want to say what movie it is. It's going to come out. I know this.

You told me about this. But so I know. And it is a big movie. It's a huge movie. If I'm in it. Yeah. That'd be awesome. Get cut out of that one.

I will do something if I'm cut out. I don't deserve to be cut out. No. Now we'll see what happens. But I observe people. And she was taking it very seriously. And I think she's probably because Eli's not going to put somebody in who's not good.

Yeah. He's going to put somebody in who's actually good. And I think she always kind of wanted to be an actress and that she'd maybe just gotten in a TikTok like. But do you know what I mean in terms of directors? Yes. Can use people without really their full mouth. They're not fully in on it.

You know what I mean? Oh, for sure. Like a great director is kind of like. Yes. You know what I'm saying? That's probably me. Yeah. That might be me.

That's maybe what I'm doing. They're just, you know. But it's cool. You know, it's interesting because I'm keenly aware that I'm a comedian who can act. Right. But I'm not an actor. And you know, you're not an actor when

you hang out with some of these kids where you go, oh, they just have that theater kid energy that I don't have. Yeah. We're like literally someone will start being like, you know, they'll just burst into song. And it's appropriate for them. Yeah. And I just sat there kind of like, you know, like.

Of course. The theater kid energy is brutal. It's brutal. So self-serious, too, about acting. Like, so one of the kids, he's a really good looking dude and I was like, talking to him and like, hey, you want to hang out? Yeah.

No, I want to meet. I'm professional. You want to meet Louis Gomez. I'm professional on set. Well, they can meet cooler people than that. You want some supplements from on it? You don't have to start with Louis Gomez. Yeah.

How about a couple of tickets to the mothership? But so one of these guys, I was talking to him and he like, he does this thing with his eyes where he's like, like really trying to get the scene from Clifford up. Get the scene from Clifford. Get the scene from Clifford up where Martin Short. Oh, with Martin Short.

No, with Martin Short. He was trying to be a real boy. Oh, great movie. This is a brilliant scene because this is how the kid, like they kind of look at you like, I was like, oh, hey, man. And I was talking to him and I think he thought I was going to say something very serious. Right.

So he just was like, he just looked at me like. And you're like, oh, they're they're just at every moment. These people are just trying on. Yeah. People to be trying on faces. There's no authenticity. That's the thing with those kids. It's like, they'll do anything.

They'll just like, you don't know who you're talking to. But that's, I think, the only way to be a really good actor. Right. I guarantee if you met any of these guys, it's the same thing. No way Ben Affleck is any different. Yeah. There's no way. Brad Pitt's probably exactly like that.

A hundred percent. In particular, he's such a good character. A hundred percent. They're all like that. And they need to be. That's the thing. It's like certain people need to be. And I'm sure it's like it's a nice kind of inauthentic, right?

It's not like some schizophrenic roaming the streets stabbing you. It's like, oh, this is a person who just can kind of be a bunch of different things. And if you're super hot, I guess that's kind of the book. Like if you're a super hot person. Yeah. What's the point of picking one personality, right? Because you could kind of get away with a lot of whatever you want.

So if you're a super hot guy, you might go, I want to be a dick today. I'm going to put on a leather jacket to be a dick. Do we have that scene up? That's one thing that I find weird, which is, you know, like your middle name. You're doing it right now. Can you just act like a human boy for one minute here? Look at me like a person. You can't do it for more than a few seconds.

Look at me like a human boy. Don't mess around. This is so fucking good. But that's the way they are. Like you talk to them and they're like, like they don't know how deep they're always ready to get deep. Yeah. So they don't know how deep the conversation is going to be.

So they're kind of like, are you laying like life knowledge? Because they look at me like I'm an elderly. Oh, of course. They look at me like I'm Jack Lemmon. You're a wise and crumb. I'm like 38. But they they look at me like I'm like an old man who's going to say something very profound before he died.

Gather around. They're like gather around the wisdom. And I was like at Skankfest. Several years ago, I was there. But but that's the thing where I'm keenly aware of like, oh, I'm not an actor. I can act and I can do that. And I would like to do it if it was my movie, if I was in control of it. Yeah. Do you are you doing more shit like that?

I'm trying. I'm trying to act a little bit. I mean, this this this year's been all about. I mean, I've been on the road nonstop for the last two years. Stop. I got I'm filming a special in May. I just put out a little crowd work special if you want to go watch it. Sure. Folks. But yeah, that's that's got to be that's kind of the goal where it's like it would be nice to just it's fun to fun to do some of that shit.

Yeah, I'm doing a little indie movie. I did one scene, you know, you know, like a romantic comedy and they meet a weird guy. Right. Who yells at the attractive people on a bus. Yes. I did one of those scenes. You know, that's perfect. It's always kind of going to be something of that. And that's fine. I don't need that. I feel like Jackson, what you do where it's like, I'm not a fucking actor.

No, no, no. I like I like I will like if I could do it over again. Like I think sometimes I go, what if I could do it over again? I love these people who go, I would change nothing. It's like, oh, come on. Really? Yeah. But if I could do it over again, I'm thinking I just love the person I am now. Yeah. I'm thinking about the jobs that I could get. Like that is a plum gig. If you could just be a hot actor who doesn't really have any

you're just like, yeah, every and you meet these people, you talk to them, you go, and it's not like they're they're just like detached in this way that like comes from just being young and successful. Oh, yeah. And just like just like everybody. Here's the thing with hot people. Everyone is always nice to them. Everyone loves them and actually, especially it's like you add hot like a hot waitress who works at like people throw things at it.

Yeah. But a hot of hot like rich, successful person. Oh, yeah. It's it's life on easy mode. There is a collapse that happens. Yeah. For those that can't transition. Well, that is when the race that is a good point. You know, collapse is never too far. The collapse is not too far. Because here's what happens to these actors.

They get some heat now, like then they all go to New York and they take a photo with like, you know, in an alley smoking a cigarette looking at the ground, the rebellious phase. And they've been in New York for 48 hours and they act like you're like, this is I'm really going through it. And then what happens is they try to be like the real actor because they've grown out of the teeny bop or bullshit roles. And they try to be like, oh, I got to be a real actor.

And then some of them don't make that leap. Right. And then they're fucked. They're fucked big time. And by fucked, I mean, still rich and gorgeous. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but some of them can't handle. They might do some drugs. Yeah, that's the advantage of getting a career when you're a big, fat, ugly piece of shit.

That's right. You know, it's like they can't take it from us. Can't take it from you. They can't take it from the only one who counts the Lord. Yeah, which that's around the corner. The only one who counts the Lord. Can you get up a little bit of this Coles Browson of you? I just want to see because we just want to we want to diagnose the actor here. And you can tell and he's like, literally this, by the way,

can we take the money back from this call her daddy chick enough with this 60 million dollars? Can we take that back? They really hit a jackpot. I mean, can we take that back? It's horrific. It's atrocious. It's the worst thing I've ever watched. I look at it the other way. We're it's like, you know, good for her robbing those Swedish.

Yes, yes, good on her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just going like I'm watching this person. No one watches. I'm watching this woman interview when I go. This is not great. She's really not great at this. No offense to her. Right.

To be honest, no offense. Just everything you've you've planned in your life is Barbara Walters. The show was about her talking about getting anal. I get that. And that's interesting. But now she's doing these interviews and talk about your asshole more. I really it was a great means to an end. What guest Israel does. This is what I love about it.

Do you mind if I have a cigarette? Please have your cigarette. You don't want gold. Let's open the door. I don't know. People get people are all. Oh, man, it's fine. Everyone's smoking weed in like a studio. But not a fucking cigarette tobacco and everyone who gets like this. It's fine. It's fucking fine.

I'm curious. Did you even go to like elementary school? Even that. I did. It was off and on. We stopped at jobs mainly. What was it? Even that preface of like, do you mind if I smoke a cigarette? Yeah, everyone's cool with weed.

But whatever happened to cigarettes, whatever. Hey, you know, remember when you could smoke a cigarette in a studio? It's like, no, you're like, you're 20 years old. Yeah. What happened to smack in women in the face and smoke and cigarettes? Why do I got to eat at this lunch counter with a black guy? Yeah, because he thinks he's a madman.

Yeah, watch a little bit of this because it's it is kind of love to it is interesting that it's a fine diagnosis of the people we're talking about. Was homeschooled, which is great, because to be honest, I did not feel like I missed out on much. Everyone that talks to me about their high school experience. I was like, this sounds fucking horrible. It wasn't great. It wasn't great, Cole. But I'm wondering, do you remember when you were in elementary school?

Like, how did people treat you? Because I know you weren't famous, famous, but like Big Daddy. You were what, five? Yeah, six. And when we were kids, I don't think they really cared too much. Some of them knew that we were actors. But Dylan specifically was a huge bully. So our navigation through elementary school and middle school,

we were like fucking dicks. How would he bully people? He would beat him up. He would beat him up. And then I became known as the twin that would come up and be like, I'm so sorry for my brother. Wait, I kind of feel like that was your character. All the ones, Zach and Cody.

Well, I think I think the writers on Zach and Cody took a lot of cues from from, you know, our actual personalities. By the way, she gets 60 million dollars for this. Tell Aunt T if I'm ready. Give me the balaclava. I'm kind of ready to go full tanky because that 60 million. No, that's crazy. To be like, she's sitting there and fucking claw.

Oh, what is she in those fucking? What are those shoes that Mario Batali used to wear before? Crocs. Crocs. She's sitting there in Crocs. Coles Browse is smoking a cigarette. And she's like, so tell me about your brother. And he's like, he was a bully when he was six. And that gets you 60 million.

Imagine getting beaten up by a child actor. Imagine getting beaten by a Sprouse by Coles Browse when they were young. By the way, Mario Batali, that could be the spin of the sequel to the. Easily Mario Batali. You could play. You could crush Mario Batali's fucking life story now. Mario Batali. Can you imagine the biopic?

By the way, our friendship would end so quickly because we'd both be reading for that role. Every fat comic in a minute, we'd be just sitting there and they'd be like, OK, can you imagine that horrible script? Because, by the way, not a feature. We're talking like a lifetime, lifetime, lifetime movie of the week. And like, literally, they'd be like, because when you go through these additions, you like Slate, you say

your name and where you live, you know? And and and you see a be like Tim Dillon with Stavros Halki as well, New York, whatever. And then you go and then you have to read the lines, you know, and then you'd be like, you like these clams? Hey. Hey, you like working here? I put my whole life into this goddamn restaurant. The least the last thing you could do is look at me.

Look at me. Yeah. Look at me. You want me to show you how to make this dish? That's called tagliatelle. You want to show you? Come here. What's wrong? What's wrong? I don't understand. I thought you liked working here.

You liked it. They got tagliatelle in Indiana. Yeah. Let me teach you something. I thought you liked it. You know, he has to be done just right. Get over here. Get over here. You fucking bitch. He'll never come back.

By the way, Mario Batali had an apology. We've talked about it on the show, but the best. The cinnamon roll, the cinnamon roll. Yeah, he was like, I'm sorry, I raped everybody, but here's some. And by the way, pastries. I mean, one of the best. That that's the king of the celebrity apologies. The thing about Mario Batali is he was a good cook.

He was a great chef. You know, he did a squint and cast that bobo that was great. He did a lamb ragout that was lovely. And he also was a rapist and an abuser of women. And that is not good. We're out on that. We're out on that. So we have. I don't fuck with Batali. Here's the other thing.

There's a lot of people that can make a lamb ragout like Nancy Silverton at Austria, Mozart in West Hollywood. OK, and she does not rape anyone. Not to our knowledge. Yeah, I don't love the outfits all the time that she does. Yeah, but if you had to pick one or the other, quirky, but I would go with that. We could see Batali to me is not like an OJ.

No, no, no. But how if I saw Batali now, I'd be like, get that I spit in his face. I I would actually I was never really excited to see Batali. No, you know, of all the celebrity chefs, even pre. Yes, assault scandals. It's like the celebrity with the Food Network did to me. I know they created the celebrity chef, but like they also just to me guess these chefs up so much.

Their egos are like insane. Yeah, especially completely insane. I get I get the top guy like, look, Guy Fierce, your man. Yes, yes, he fucking rules. I like him a lot. It's a tournament of champions. Great show. He's wearing bling that a rapper couldn't pull off.

Guy Fierce, the only guy who basically said, let me make a show out of like going to these places. And and why had no one done that? Yeah, let's go to these places that like people talk about. And they're really good food, but also they have health code violations. Yeah, of course. They have health code, but I still think they should be. Yeah, there's hair in it. Who cares? Well, if you've been to one in like in your hometown,

that it's like it was on diners, drivings and dives. It's like it's not like half of them are horrible. Half of them are pretending. Like they're like they're like I would the diner by me, which is like, you know, you're getting you're getting some toothless lady. And you're still in Queens. No, I'm talking about in Baltimore when I grew up, where I was growing up. Yeah. The diner by me, it's, you know, it's fine.

Right. It's like the freezer in the freezer. The everything is frozen. Like it's just you go there. It's you go there. It's it's 2 a.m. Yeah, some toothless lady who's trying to get her kids back is going to fuck up half of your order. Right. Right. And then there's a picture on the wall of Guy Fieri and they have like their seafood tower.

You know what I mean? It's like you you brought in you bought a seafood tower from a different restaurant and served it to Guy when he was there. They'll literally be like our our lump crab cakes. It's like you don't have lump crab here. You get pancakes and fucking sausage here. A lot of it's fake. It's all fake. And one of them was sad. I walked to one of them. I was on the road.

I literally don't remember where I was. I walked in one of them and the proprietor had died and it was literally just a picture of him and Guy Fieri. And then he was like bald with cancer. And they're like, all right, be Rick. I'm like, OK, this is a little rough. It's a little tough. That's a tough wall. Yeah, tough wall.

I don't want to see this while I'm eating chicken catch a torii. Yeah, but I mean the food network to me, like I remember the heyday of it was when me and my grandparents would watch Emeril show and he was like Emeril live and he'd be like, bam. And of course, bam. And you know, everybody's so excited to be on Emeril live. And he was the forerunner. He was the forerunner. He was the big, you know, to me,

I still think Emeril Lagasse, you know, if we're looking at celebrity chefs, he's up there in the top. Yeah, he's Jordan. He's Jordan and Guy is LeBron. Yeah, it's a generational thing. That's right. And then Guy Fieri. I don't know if he was a chef. Probably he had a dude. His I hated Bobby Flay. I still hate.

I love watching beat Bobby Flay to root against him. I hate. I hate the premise of that show where he's like, let's go find something that's being cooked the same way for 40 years. And let me see if I can beat it because I'm a cunt. It's like, ah, he also is a pussy getter, though. You know, that's another reason he does fuck a lot. I hate Bobby Flay.

And didn't he didn't he marry that rich chick? Didn't marry a rich chick? I don't know. He might have. Well, I'm not I'm not a Bobby Flay head. I like Emeril. I could fuck with Lydia Bastianich. Sure. From Phyllidia, New York. Sure. I mean, that bitch could carve a fucking chicken with a knife.

Like I loved Lydia, of course. Del Posto, Phyllidia. She's a gangster, Lydia Bastianich, Ina Gardner, Barefoot Contessa, Barefoot Contessa. Gangster, frankly, Adi, the best bit about that. Brilliant. Yeah. I'm a big chopped head personally. Yeah, people like chopped.

Tom Kaliko is OK. Top chef. Fine. He was good. He was good. What now? Paula Dean was the one that fell from grace, which, yeah, she was exactly what you thought she was. Yeah, it's like it's very it's like if she didn't say the N word, that would be more surprising.

And she was just abusing her staff. Yeah, and making them dress up as slaves. I think get up. What Paula Dean got cancelled for, she said the N word as well, which can't do that. You can't. But look at it. But it's Paula Dean. It's it's a down home.

You want you want so many whose whole thing is about authentic southern? Yeah, nothing's more. You're dropping a couple ends. Yeah. In the kitchen. Nothing's more authentic than Paula Dean. But I think that is shit. I think she got cancelled for making the yeah, Paula Dean. Use the N word wanted.

Let's get the headline up. Thanks, gentlemen. Paula Dean is the N word wanted slaves to serve. I mean, that's out of control. I mean, OK, wanting the slaves to southern plantation saw wedding would include waiters dressed as slaves. Dean says in a deposition. That's awesome.

So she her argument was again, Ferris Militud. She was like, we're doing it real. We're doing it right. Can you imagine, by the way, like being that much of a racist, that you're being deposed, like you're in deposition and you have to argue that point. You're like, yeah, it was just so I don't like it. I don't like it when they made when they made Schindler's List. Yeah, the guards had to be racist towards the Jews.

Yeah, I'm making I'm making a realistic dinner here. Then take Southern style wedding. Of course, I'm going to have slaves. Why would I not hire black people and make them dress up as slaves? And by the way, the the Jackson subsequently asked Dean what type of uniform she preferred, she's servers, the servers to wear. Well, what I would really like is a bunch of little.

Oh, my God. Oh, and words to wear long sleeve white shirts, black shorts and black bow ties. You know, in the Shirley Temple days, they used to tap dance around. Oh, my Shirley Temple. Paula laughed and said, now, that would be a true Southern wedding, wouldn't it, because, but we can't do that because the media about that cancel culture is going too far. Like the goddamn won't media won't let me get a bunch of little n words.

Tap dance. It's like, God, Jesus Christ. We've got this is bad. I also love the idea that Paula Dean, it has to be an authentic Southern wedding, you know, like in a Shirley Temple movie. Yeah. What are we talking about? Literally, just she's conflating a bunch of different kinds of racism. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She just she's covering the races. It's racist fusion. It's an authentic,

but she really just wants Al Jolson like blackface. Like, you know what I mean? She's like, it's an authentic Southern wedding. But you know, we have a Jew in blackface singing jazz standards. Fuck in crazy, man. It's crazy. But, you know, that's, I think, part of the problem when you steep yourself so much in your culture that you can't get out. Like, I think that sometimes you need to just take a breath.

Ask one black person how they feel about that. Yeah, like, ask one person, just one. Just run by them like super casually. Go, let me ask you a question. Well, we're doing a Southern style wedding with this. Would this be I mean, let me just say it. Can you sit down? Let me ask you a question. Sit down for this.

If I said to you, we're doing a Southern style wedding and I want some, you know, black people, they're going to be servers of the wedding. And I wanted them to kind of, you know, dress as slaves and tap dance. Would that be offensive? What do you think? Is there any part of that? That's the best thought. Yeah. So is there any part of that that would offend you?

Oh, the whole thing. Oh, all of it. All of it. I also don't understand why anyone would get married on a plantation. That's wild to me, too. Yeah. If you believe in like, got him. Got it. That's a bad. There's some bad energy. If you believe in energy at all. Yeah. It's like a lot of not chill stuff has happened right there.

It's kind of like just saying, like, we're very excited. We're getting married on an Indian burial ground. Right. Right. Right. We're going to so excited. We're going to Auschwitz to have our nuptials. There's a Navajo burial ground and we've decided that me and my wife are going to go down there. And it is going to be amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. But it's well, people will do that.

You know, I've talked about it. I've made this joke. It's probably real by now. And I'm trying to know there's old hotels. And but people will start doing like weddings and prisons. Yeah. A bunch of white pictures sitting in the electric chair with champagne. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, 100 percent. Like we'll probably outlaw capital punishment,

although maybe not. But like, eventually we might. And then, you know, like these things are going to be tourist attractions and somebody's going to be like, let's get married in the fucking death chamber. Right. Right. Right. I guess, yeah, you're even saying it. And it's like Alcatraz. I would love that. Imagine we rent out Alcatraz.

A great party for the whole fucking life. You're going to close Rikers. Yeah, they say. I think Rikers might get closed because Rikers is a nightmare. Yeah. They just have people there, like on parking tickets. Yeah. They just don't get access to plumbing. I mean, I don't understand. Like the way this criminal justice system works to me is so great.

And I'm not a guy that says let everybody out if they've done bad things. But like, yeah, not a people that are in for like, I smoke the joint, especially now I smoke the blonde. I couldn't pay my fee for hopping the turnstile of a train. And now I'm in this prison for years. Don't worry. There's eight cops there to check on that. Right. Right.

Gives a fuck. Yeah. About subway, turnstile. Yeah. Yeah. I think I don't think you can let stuff like that get completely out of control. But I also don't think you should be putting people in jail for years or people can't like. Well, those cops don't do shit. They play Candy Crush and every once in a while, a teenager comes along

and they're like, all right, let's fuck up his record for. Yeah, well, it should be a misdemeanor. It should be something quick where you can kind of get out. But then there are certain things where it's like, you know, if you throw someone in front of a train, that should be. Yes. No, no, no, of course. Yeah, it's going to be a little, you know. But yeah, it's funny, man.

It's funny to watch. I don't even know what what is on the. Can we bring up the food network schedule? I'm just curious. It's like, what would still be on this? They got a lot. I'll tell you right now. They got a lot of beat Bobby Flay. They got a lot of they got a lot of tournament champions.

There's nothing better than the food network on a summer day when you should be outside. You know what I mean? Like there's nothing that feels particularly worse than watching like the food network on a summer day. Well, it's my favorite like road thing to watch. Oh, you got diners. You got triple D going.

Alex first America. Yeah, they're really trying. I like Alex. What is Alex first America? I like Alex. She's a really good cook, but they put they're putting in a lot of stuff, but she's one of my favorite chopped judges. They always did this thing where they wanted like a lot of triple D's.

They always wanted comedians on the food network, and then they like met us and then they were like, oh, we don't want that at all. We actually don't want that at all. That's a huge mistake. Right, right, right. That's a massive mistake. We don't want that at all. Not at all. Sorry. We even suggested that.

Stavros Halkias. Where can people find you and see you and I'm a part of your life? Yes, I got a podcast Stavi's World. Come check it out. Come do it sometime, Timmy. But I have a new crowd, a crowd work half hour. Yes, just a little put together. I put it together a little little bonus special free on YouTube right now.

Stavi Baby on Twitter, Stavi Baby two on Instagram. I'm on tour, the Fat Rascal tour, still a couple of tickets left to the special, the special taping in Austin. And then in the fall, I'm just I'm all over the place playing a couple of theaters. Are you doing Paramount? Awesome special. Fuck yeah. Awesome. I'm really excited for that.

You will enjoy that. Timdillacomedy.com we're on the road until mid June. If you are interested, if you're not, who cares? Fuck off if you're not. If you're not, it's OK. Yeah, it is what it is. But Timdillacomedy.com to get tickets to those shows. Thank you so much.

Dude, thank you. I appreciate it. Great to see you, buddy.