The Tim Dillon Show - 348 - Tom Segura & Christina P.

Episode Date: May 28, 2023

Tim visits Tom Segura & Christina Pazsitzky at YMH Studios in Austin. The three discuss trans issues, why Tim was allowed to smoke growing up and the release of his new book ‘Death By Boomers.�� Pre-Order ‘Death By Boomers’ By Tim Dillon 👉 https://rb.gy/gafn4 Live Shows: http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows Bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow Netflix special: https://www.netflix.com/watch/81616382 SPONSORS: Helix Sleep Go to HelixSleep.com/TimD for 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows Bespoke Post BoxOfAwesome.com & Use Code 'timdillon' Morgan & Morgan: For more information go to forthepeople.com/tim ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch:  https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan show to very special guests. We've been trying to get them for six years. And I emailed there, I would text your producer once every couple of weeks for the last several years. And we've finally, we've done it. We've got it. We've got to do. But Tim, you're so fantastic and busy.

Well, that's, well, this gentleman is at me and you could have done. Yeah. 90 hours of broadcasting. We could have started a podcast in the time. You should, yeah, we should. Like we could have, and you're back now from the tour. I'm back from the tour, yeah. I'm very excited to do this.

It was never, there are people that you go like, you know, I'm just busy. And that's your way of being like, I don't like you. Right. But for you, for you is real, where I really was gone. And, yeah, of course, I saw that. I saw that. You know, I can't see somebody last meet it, do something. Yeah.

And they'll be like, I'm like, dude, I'm not in New York. And then I'll look at my Instagram story. There's a photo of me holding a bagel on $59. You know what I mean? Like, I'm very bad? I'm a bad liar. We're all the same with that shit, though. Everybody wants to, like, there's the things you want to do because you like the person or you guys click

or you're a fan of which we're all that with you. We'll ask you, Steve. And it's always been fun to watch your crazy rise in all this shit, but it is like an art form of how to get out of things within this world in the comedy talk. That's the world you're always like, no, the thing is dude, I am. I'm having ankles hurt.

Yeah. You're like, I thought you broke your, I'm like, no, I did, but I found out my ankles week too. So I got to do it. I use my mother a lot, because she's in a mental institution. Oh yeah. That's a good one. So what's great is I call my mother's not doing she's in a mental institution. That's a good one.

So I just go, what's great is I call my mother's not doing well. Now here's the thing, my mother's never been doing well. It's been 30 years of my mother not doing well. I don't even know what my mother doing well would look like. You know what, hey, what would that even be? She's a morbidly obese schizophrenic. So if my mother walked to the door of her room and opened it herself, it's a win. So what's great about that is I just go, you know, my mother's not doing well. So I'm gonna just just take some time with her. Yeah.

I'm just gonna tell everybody how to go like, yeah, I guess. And you love spending time with her. I love it. I do it just four times a year. Yeah. No, I do it as much as I can, but you know what I mean? She forgets when I'm there a lot. So I go, is this a real? They've just given her a phone, like she got whatever the version of the new Obama phone is. But it's like, it's a phone they're giving to lunatics

and she can't turn it on and can't use it. But it's one of those state programs. Like, remember when they gave Obama phones out there, like the problem with all these people that they can't communicate. But if they had the tools to communicate, they build a network of people, and you know, I don't know,

Marshall, their resources together. If others get to the phone, if they're like a Gitterbug, is it like huge numbers? It's a phone. It's just fucking huge numbers. She'll never answer numbers. My aunt texted me her number. I'll call her now. There's no way she answers. Let's a phone. It's just fucking. She'll never answer. Let me shut my ant texted me her number.

I'll call her now. There's no way she answers. Let's call her. There's no way she answers. Cause my aunt. My aunt texted me because your mother has a phone and doesn't know how to use it. So I just ignore these texts.

I just go like, she goes, your mom has a phone. She doesn't know how to use it. We're gonna have to teach her. I'm like, well, I'm not doing that. She's 70. If she can't use a phone, let's write it off. Yeah. Let's say there's no way.

I don't need any answer. What's her name? Patricia. You don't have it saved? I don't have it saved. She's gonna lose it. She's gonna lose it. There's no way she has this in a month.

She's gonna say that of one of the black orderly stolen because she's racist. Yeah, yeah. She's a racist person. My mom was so racist when she died. Yes, thank you. My mother was schizophrenic too. That's what Tim and I have in common.

And when I went to clean out her apartment because she was a shudden for eight years, I met the security guard that would look in on her from time to time. Yeah. And I was like, hey, I'm Christina, I know we've never met because I've never fucking visited my mother. Right.

And I go, I'm eat its daughter. And she goes, oh, yeah, eat it. I remember her. She goes, she goes, yeah, yeah. She goes, you know, she was okay to me. She never called me the N word. Oh, geez. And I was like, that implies that she's been calling

other people. Other people. Yeah. Other people. Oh, man. Yeah, but not her. Not her. So that was a win.

Yeah, I don't think my mother's using the N word, but she will. She'll get there, but like I will sit down with her and she'll be like, she'll go, there are too many Muslims in the country. And I'm like, is that your biggest problem? You've been immobile for 20 years pretty much, and you're in this room,

and all you can do is watch television and scream. And Muslims are here. Muslims are bothering you. But that's the way I get out of things. My mother did tell me when I was little, she goes, just tell people I'm dead. She said that to me. That's cool. If you need to get out of something, just tell something.

That was one of the nicest things she said. That is an ever very nice thing. It's one of the, I mean, everybody who has kids end up ends up knowing this that it is the great, like, cancel clause is when someone's like, hey, do you wanna, you're like, dude, I got the kids. Right. And then other parents know it, they're like, but they respect it, other parents will like. It's cold.

Oh yeah, it's cold. You don't wanna do this and you're like, yeah, I don't. Of course. Most comedians don't have that. Like a lot of comedians have that, but a lot of us, unfortunately, are single. There are some of us and go, hey, I'm a pedophile. I can't do it.

There are some people that can, you know, can I say that? I can't really, I can't make it Saturday. Now, do you guys ever get in, do your kids have friends whose parents are cool? Yeah, I mean. Yeah, no, there's like, there's the ones where you're like, here's the thing, our bar, if anything, is so high for what it's like to hang out with someone.

That's true. None of the kids' parents are at the level of like, I'm saying, a at the level of like, I'm saying of fun, entertaining as like, the most fun thing about being a comedian really is hanging out with other comedians. 100% success. That's like having dinner, the hangs in the parking lot after the sets, you're like, I could do this forever.

You do that night after night, if you're night after night, and then you hang out with like some kids' parents you're like, I wanna fucking die. So you're bar for that, you're like, if this person is marginally cool and fun, it's entertaining enough. Like the worst is children's parties actually. We're gonna have to use your my kids to like a Chuck E. Cheese

and then you have to make chit chat, which is a Southern fucking, pastime is chit chat, small talk, which I can't do. I want to put a gun in my mouth. Right. I'm talking about the weather Or what are you gonna do this summer? Oh Jesus Christ. You know, I like to get out comedy, right? That's the worst good. Oh, and they're like They just kind of smile and look at you and they're like got any new stuff and you're like, yeah, fuck are you doing? Yeah, what is this about? Yeah, you got any new stuff. No, do like, yeah. What the fuck are you doing? Yeah, what is this about? You got any new stuff. No, do you think you'll ever have children?

I don't know. I'm deeply selfish. This is a problem, I think, when you have children. Yes, yes. I, if I had kids, I'd want to spend a lot of time with them like Bert. Mm-hmm. Ha-ha-ha.

Ha-ha-ha. You know what I mean? Like I'd want to give them the Bert. You know what I mean? I'd want to give them the attention. No, I don't know. If I found a special guy who wanted to raise kids, I think it's great because comedy is great. Success is good. Money is great. Success is good, money's good, all those things are good, but having a family and like, you know, bringing up to one or two children to be kind of alt rights, sympathizing,

reactionary podcast psychopaths. Like really, I'd raise some of the worst people that have ever existed. Like really bad, like really really bad in considerate people, because I'd have money, so they'd have money, but they'd also be, like I think very bad people, which excites me a little bit.

That's very fun. It feels like it would be really fun. I feel like, you know, you're so aware. Yeah. And that's like, it's keeping you from doing it now, but I think we all know that it's in the cards This is gonna happen. I think so when you're in your 50s and you're like a low T Yes, yeah, right now you're you're at your peak you've got to get out there and fuck and you've got to go and you can't how you can't be tied down

By like having to like no worry about like a child dying. Oh, no, no, no, you can do other things. Yeah. Yeah, don't do that Don't do it right now. I wouldn't do it now. But then later on, it's a good idea to like, you know, you have a child. And my godson is Chinese, which I love. That's great. I love because it's something different. Yeah. And Asians are so cute. They're not only are cute, they are very competent.

They're intelligent, smart. I prefer to say that. Do you think that's just innate or is it the point? He's very cold. He doesn't attach to his mother or father. They've commented on this at the school. He doesn't care when he's dropped off. He won't even give them a look.

Because they are the master race. They're like, they are. They are, they really fucking are. They really are. And they so are. Asian kids are so much better than our kids. No, he's just, he doesn show him thing. He doesn't care. He even had in my school, very small school. Yeah, there was a couple of Asian, one of the Asian kids. They just dominant.

Not just had the 4.2 GPA and was a classical train pianist, but she also was dominant, I think in on the swim team. And you're like, this is all facets. This is across the board, high performance. Yeah, it's incredible. I want my kid to be a trans athlete. Yeah, like, you know what I mean? Like, if I had a kid, I'd want them to be embroiled in a massive

controversy, like something about, like, because otherwise, why? Why even have, like, Leot, because otherwise why, why even have, like Leot Thomas' parents are probably really proud, be like, that's my son daughter. Fucking everyone up in there. You know what I mean? I'd want my daughter son, son daughter, to be kind of one of those people

as like breaking boundaries. I love, by the way, I don't agree with Leot Thomas taking all these girls titles, but there is something funny about seeing these exasperated female swimmers who were like at the end of their rope and they're like, I was at the locker room and she had her cock out and no one prepared me for it and it's like,

yeah, that seems kind of unfair, but it's also very funny. It's very funny. It's also funny when they're like, you were the number one or two ranked swimmer, and then a person came in and blew your records away. And you're like, oh, I'll never catch this. Never.

It's so far in a way. She's her records. She was like 700th, which is like an incredible swimmer, for sure. Right. But she switched over, transitioned, and blue, like, made world records. I was on a swim team for many years. My mother was a swim coach. Really? Yes, and I was a lifeguard. It's hard to believe now because I've left that path.

But I was a swimmer. I'm still a very good swimmer. And I was on a swim team. And it makes you gay, because, yes, well. You blame swimming? Well, because you're just in a room with cocks. I'm lovely, yeah. The whole time. So my parents were at the time I really took in cocks. Oh, yeah.

Is that right? Absolutely, yeah. No, I saw this guy William who had a fully adult penis at the time I didn't, and he was the same age. And I was like, this is, I'm fucked. This guy, and I didn't see, I was on the swim team, I was like eight or nine, and you see pubes. Yeah, I didn't see pubes.

On an eight or nine year old? No, no, because there's other ones. Other older cousins. Oh, now they're making sense. Like, fuck is this? Right. Wow. So that's, so swimming in general is a very weird,

gay sport. And I'm shaving your body. Shaving your body, Speedo. I liked it. It's become the battleground. Cause no one cares about it either. No one cares about swimming. And at all, swimmers have ripped, they have great bodies.

But no one really cares. Occasionally Olympics, you go, oh, that's nice. But I liked it. It's become this, you know, no one cares, right? It's not the thing. Anyway, it cares about what's great is it's this cultural battleground where people are screaming. And these people we've never heard from before and never will again are coming out and going, I am a female swimmer. And I deserve respect. Outside of this, people would have went, just shut the fuck up. They would have said that to us.

She would have went, I'm a, I have, I'm third ranked in the hundred freestyle and they would have went, shut the fuck up. You mean nothing because they know it. But now I think it's funny. It is, but I mean, I'm probably saying something so stupid and like, base,

but like, shouldn't you cut your peen off? If you want to be a lady, like, and it's more aerodynamic to cut the job. That's, I don't believe some of these. Are you going for time or not? Yeah. Some of you try. I guess.

Are we going for time? I think some people are unsure if they're gonna stay the other way. Oh, that's gonna be a big one. They're hedging their bets when they're like I'm detransitioning in case I want to change my mind. Yes. Wait, is this person take hormones? Like did this person? I think maybe probably yeah, yeah, yeah, she took estrogen for sure, but she's got the hog. She have tits She has tits. Are they good? They're not great. Are they smoking? The shiv tits. Shiv tits.

Are they good? Are they smoking? Are they fucking like traps? Like most female swimmers have the big shoulders and the laughs, like the lazy laughs from a butterfly. Those lats are wild on swimmers. But I love that we're debating this now as a country. Like there's gonna be a congressman that comes out soon

and goes, hey, just cut off the hog. If you wanna be a female swimmer, you gotta cut off your dick. Yeah, you know. I mean, I kind of feel like shouldn't there just be a baseline criterion for being on the women's team? Yeah, like okay, I understand you identify. What's Lea Thomas height and weight? Can you do that? She's not trying at all to look like this.

No, like no trying. She's done less work on it than anyone I've ever seen. She literally just showed up, put a bathing cap on. Right, and a onesie. She literally just showed up with a bathing cap on. Right, and a onesie. I'm like, I'm a woman, that doesn't see. Six one, her weight is not 132. No, no, no, no. At least the Dylan Movaney one is trying to be a woman,

although be it a psychotic one. I see, very annoying. Like a pretty superman. What is the origin of this part of Dylan? So Dylan was a feminine gay man, who was at believe on Broadway or something. A singer. A singer or an actor or something like that.

And then decided to transition and then did this blog or something where she was like, everyday, she's like, I've been a girl for three days. So it started during COVID. But you can see what real effort looks like here. Yes, she for sure loves it. She loves me. I mean, some of these guys try and,

she's trying, some of these guys that transition, especially like in their 50s and 60s, you're like, no, it's not. No, it's not. It's not. You gotta put it into another gear. Like this is not enough. Well, there's something about sitting down

with your kid and going, if you're gonna transition, you gotta try. You gotta try. You gotta try. Like this family will stand behind you, but you gotta try. Yeah. You gotta get a pussy, you got to try. You got to try. This family will stand behind you, but you got to try. You got to get a pussy, you got to get tips, you got to look good. Nails done. You got to make up hair. I would actually say, you know, some people when they're aging, you're like, hey, you know, just age with the face, but older dudes who are transitioning, I would say start with the facelift.

Get your ass. You have a big ol' basset-hound face. You look like a droopy dog. That's true. I'm a broad, and you're like, you look like a fucking oil tank or a worker. It's like, you gotta pull this shit up, man. Shave off a lot of your face.

Like Caitlin Jenner did it, she did it late in life, but her work looks really good. She spent the money to at least, like, oh, I'm, you know, I'm trying to like, Caitlin had, I think, the right type of, this is the way to get people to get on the side of trans people. She transitioned and then immediately said,

I'm against gay marriage and I'm voting for Donald Trump. She did that. Immediately. And that, and by the way, that's exactly it. Yeah. Like, I don't know why the trans community hasn't tried that. Like, just try. Try to be a little more conservative.

Like, why are they not trans people being like, hey, I like the cops. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Why aren't trans people being like, actually, the cops serve a vital function in our society?

Yeah, and I like the cops Why aren't you got to throw To get full equality you got to throw some of your own people yes under under the bus Yeah, especially when they've already been long dead. Yeah, so for me if I wanted to move in like a nice straight community like you people live in sure I would say something like, I'm sure a few of those people at Stonewall were acting up. Yeah.

Yeah. You know what I mean? A few of them needed to be- I get it. So you have to see the trans people have to, first of all, they merged with the fat people, which is bad. The trans people came out and were like,

they were like, they're like fat act and a lot of them are fat. They have to clean it up because if gay men first looked like me, they wouldn't have worked. Gay men came out and looking athletic. Better than everyone. It's sharp, it better. And then everyone eased into it

and then they accepted different types of gay men. But like this idea that like people have to, it's like the Sam Smith thing. People are like, oh, people are so transphobic. I'm like, you can't be like, hey, I'm non-binary and I look like a plumber and I'm wearing it panties. Yeah, yeah.

How much can Americans accept? Every trans person should be super hot to begin with. To begin with, let's roll out the hot ones first. Yes, you know what, we should all be fooled. Like, I think we should be like, there's no fucking way. Right. So really? And then be like, oh's no fucking way. Right. So really? And then be like, oh wow, get us on board with that for a while.

And then introduce everything. Well, so yeah, so like the swimsuit edition, there's a trans lady on that one. Yeah. And she kind of works out that blonde. Super hot. Super hot. Yeah, there's a lot of very hot trans people. And we're losing that, which is sad.

And actually, they shouldn't fuck with Bud Light. I think that was the big mistake. With Donald Duck. Yeah, it was a disaster. Don't do that. It was a disaster. She's pretty blonde, Lee. She's got big tits.

No, not this, not this broad. That's a trans. That is a trans. I don't know if it is, but the one that I know of, they recently put her on is a blonde woman with big cans. I think it's just like, my perspective was like, hey, when you're like...

I mean, convincing, no? That's Kim Petra. She did the song with Sam Smith. Yeah, I mean, this is the kind of stuff I'm saying. I want, I like to be to the point where I go, like, oh, I fucked this chick, and then she pulls her dick out and I go, I guess I still will.

You know what I'm like, that's exactly right. You know, that fool, I wanna be completely, you wanna be thrown. Yeah, you wanna be thrown. And I think that is the way to get, especially like if you're talking about part of the country being transphobic, you gotta fucking really fool them.

You gotta be. A hundred percent, because I think people are afraid of teachers turning their kids into 300 pound transcommunists. Yeah. Maybe, they're not worried about their kids being like hot trans people. So, really? Like if literally you had a meeting and went,

they're going trans, we can't stop it, but they're gonna be hot. I know. They're gonna be hot. At least some of the parents would be like, hey, I got a hot trans kid as opposed to like some fat disgusting trans com. Well, same with the non binaries.

If the non binary community weren't always obese girls with purple hair and the piercings, I might be more on board with them too. Yes, or if those obese girls with purple hair started coming out and going, we don't need welfare. Get a fucking job, you lazy piece of shit. Then Republicans will start going, yeah, we disagree with that.

They start using the pronouns. They're like, we disagree with them. They are making some interesting points though. We do feel a social safety that can allow people into. I love Helix. mattresses, it gave me some mattresses. I love helix mattresses. It gave me some mattresses.

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And all my friends that visit my home are all like, dude, what are those beds? And I'm like, they're helix. And like, my friends are so happy, which is rare because they're usually miserable, bitter people that have a lot of problems and the resentments that have built up over years of kind of being near duels and, you know, failing and having near success.

But I have a lot of very vicious and angry human beings. I'm near, but the sleep, they have so much sleep. And there's no better way to test that a new mattress than by sleeping on it in your own home. They offer a hundred night trial, 10 to 15 year warranty to try out your new Helix mattress. Everyone's unique, everyone does sleep differently. That's why Helix has several mattress models

to choose from each design for a specific sleep positions and feel preferences. I'm telling you I Love Helix. It's like so amazing that I get to even offer you this deal They're offering 20% off all mattresses and two free pillows for our listeners go to helix sleep.com slash timd That's helix sleep.com slash Tim D. That's helixleap.com slash Tim D. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long with helix better sleep starts now. I mean, you guys have kids, you have to believe,

you have to have some hope for the country, right? That's like something that you guys have to have with kids because you have to have. A lot of my friends go to him, your podcast is funny but it's so dark sometimes that like, you know, I have kids and I want to just think of good thoughts. And you get lost in the hope because kids,

that's all kids are. They give you hope. Kids are all, are nothing but hope, yeah. Because you just see, you see them from being this helpless thing, a blob that can't do anything. And then this progress that happens and you see them, their personality shape. And yeah, like, their, your distraction actually

from the hopeless world that you can all of a sudden, you're going, oh no, there's hope in this and then, but yeah, I mean, I wonder if my parents ever saw me as hope. It's just such an interesting thing to think about, like if my parents were ever like, well, he's gay and he's uncokane, he's stealing money, he's getting fatter, and he's enthusiastically supporting the Iraq war. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

But he's our beacon of hope. We love him, he's hope. You know, you know, I did have this thought yesterday when I was micro-dosing on mushrooms, is that our generation, the Gen X, we're so proud of how hard we are and how we were bullied and fuck you

and we, you know, pussy this and that. And then these kids are all about acceptance and love. Yeah. And you're just like, well, that is a change for the better. It is a change. Who knows how that's going to end up in the real world, how these kids are gonna fair creating society and doing things, but I don't know,

it does feel kind of hopeful, doesn't it? It does, I think a lot of the changes that are happening are positive. And people obviously being more kind and considerate of each other. Yeah, we weren't like that. It is great, you know? That's not as fun.

Well, the worry is, the concern is, on, you know, the, how does that work? See, a lot of that seems to be getting what you want. A lot of this culture is about getting what you want. This person called me the thing I wanted to be called. I feel this way because this person is validating me. Instead of this idea of like that person should not affect you. Yeah, 100%.

So I understand that we're trying to create a gentler world, which is good, but I think part of what we're doing is we're giving people the idea that like, their self concept is reliant on other people. And isn't that just an illusion ultimately? Like, yes. Even if you buy, if you're like, oh, everyone finally called me what I wanted.

And you're like, well, you're never, like everyone's never going. So you got the people that you interact with to do it. So I guess you just kind of formed your own reality here. Isn't it kind of an illusion that you're going to have everyone in the, because that's not how the world works. No, people are going to say what they want to say. They're going to use terms they want to use. Look, people are going to accept you or not accept you and not accepting you is actually kind of reality. Right? It's like, it's like saying like saying, I wanna get to the point where

everybody likes my stand up or my apod, it's not gonna happen. It never happens. So like, you're just, it feels like a wasted effort in a lot of way when you see somebody putting so much energy into, use the right term for me. You're like, it's exhausting. It's an exhausting existence that you have.

And it's annoying, It's just annoying. Like if you put it in your fucking email, you know what I mean? Is it signature? And by the way, my pronouns are, it's like, motherfucker, I don't even know you and you're gonna start with that shit. I don't care. And I wasn't questioning it. Yeah, we don't care.

We don't care your email. Like, God, I wonder what fucking pronest is. It's part of like, I think everybody is very, very concerned with how they appear. And I grew up with a lot of people who didn't care and there was a virtue in not caring. They didn't care. And I think that's completely gone.

100%. So because the millennials came in and they were like wish drivers, were achievers, we like ribbons and bows and we like to be told we're good. And here's my college essay and here's my these are my LSAT scores, my SATs and I'm at the right school with the right people, I have the right internship. It was very checklist type of you know, the striving kind of insufferable, exhausting careerist, you know, driven kind of empty vessels that needed to be filled up with approval all the time

all the time. And I felt like that was very exhausting. And like, that to me is those are the people right now who are kind of manufacturing culture. That's why I like to, everything's a Buzzfeed quiz or how fat phobic are you or where you racist to the man on the train or whatever it is, it's like because people constantly want to grade themselves and tell everybody how good they're doing.

You know, and it came from that culture of like wanting to be. It's so funny. Except it, sorry. No, and it's also in, put it like, okay, if you go to a bookstore here in Austin, it'll be like, be inclusive, or in San Francisco, you'll see signs that are like, end racism, you're like, dude,

this sign doesn't need to be in this city. Right. Put that sign in, fucking mobile Alabama. Do you know what I mean? It's all an echo chamber of like, high-fiving each other. Yeah, if you put that sign in mobile Alabama, but a gun's come out. Right. Yeah, because- put that sign in mobile, Alabama, but it guns come out.

Right. Yeah, because- But at least it'll be changing. It's also think about those two words. Could anything, could anything mean less than end racism? Could anything have less of an action plan than the words end rate? Like it would, it's so completely divorced, it's designed for you to go right on.

And then move on. There's nothing specific. It's like when Gary Van your Chuck goes hustle and you're like, thanks. There's nothing about it that has any real world implication. End racism means nothing. It means nothing. Stop hate. It's okay.

Stop hate. You're anyone who's nodding at that, like they're not racist to begin with. Right. And somebody who is racist is just reads that and goes Oh fuck you I hate It's not even they don't even internalize it their racist. They're like they're like they're like well I'm not racist, but I'm like the Koreans are a problem. Yeah, yeah, it's never like

Yes Yeah, um so much garlic and food. I you know I take Yes. Yeah. So much garlic and food. But I, you know, I take, like with our kids, and I know Tom is always like, that's an incorrect thought. Christina, that's so fucking bizarre.

But I want to raise them more gen X than anything. Like just go out there and be a tiger, dude. And my kids are gonna eat your fucking pussy kids alive. Yeah. I thought you were gonna say my kids are gonna eat your pussy. Well, they are. I'm raising them to do that.

These boys, I'm showing them to wear the clit. That was wild. She's like, I'm raising them tigers, and my kids are gonna eat you pussy. I'm like, this is very interesting. Fuck yeah. The heterosexual we know this. But yeah, like I know how to munch box.

Yeah, for sure, but I don't, I don't know. I don't buy into all this cultural stuff too. I don't know that it's real. Like you say. It feels very performative though, doesn't it't I don't know I don't buy into all this cultural stuff too. I don't know that it's real like you say It feels very performative though. Yeah, I don't know a lot of it today. It's all performative and everyone's gonna kill each other Let me segue because I did write a book and I want to talk about this on this episode because I like both of you and and it's gonna get better Views than the other ones That's why I'm bringing it up now. I wrote a book and Travis will edit

the whatever graphic into the thing. And you have a book, which is fucking awesome. I do. It just actually came out in, don't show his book, not dead. Show his book. No, no, but there it is. There's Tim's mind just got reprinted.

It just got the paperback release just came out. But this looks awesome. You're titled Death by Boomers, how the worst generation destroyed the planet, but first a child. He has amazing titles. It's great. And what it is is my father is 70

and my mother got only nose where she is. She may not be with us anymore. But what I wanted to do before they died was just one more disgraceful moment, like a head hung low moment where I could share all these like horrific stories from growing up with boom, I love boomers, boomers are funny.

It's not a woe is me book. Boomers are deeply selfish, narcissistic monsters sent to destroy the earth. They've destroyed society. They are, they viewed their children as an obstacle and an impediment to their own success. For sure. They were jealous of their children. They liked when their children failed. They set their children up in many cases to fail. They were hateful, horrible people. They were completely divorced from reality. They have tangled themselves up in conspiracy theories. You could find them on Facebook right now.

You know, it's like they're, as soon as they got technology, they used it to spread hate and division and fear. All they believe in is fear mongering and dividing people. They, because they believe that's how they benefit. They were the luckiest generation other than the few of them who died in Vietnam enough. We've heard about that. The rest of them had charmed lives with great uh, peace time and they were given an inherited this whole country and destroyed it. And my friend, I mean, my father, you know, when I told him I was like an alcoholic, I was like, I was a drunk,

and I didn't say I'm an alcoholic, but I said to him, like, I'm hanging out of bar every night, I'm drinking every night. And instead of saying like, you should get help. My father goes, son, like an old man, bar is played a role in every Dylan's life. He goes, your uncle Tommy went to Buckley's,

I used to go to a place called the Bitter Ant. Like, it was, it, they're so, like my father, I was smoking cigarettes, 13 years old, smoking cigarettes, a friend's eating his car, he let me smoke cigarettes, and he goes, you know what's good about you? You never smoke him down to the filter. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, You never smoke him down to the filter. He goes, you never smoke him down to the end. He goes, that's what's good about you.

That's an amazing compliment for my dad. So these were the type of people they were. And then you got to internalize, that is what's good about you. He's like, you never smoke him down to the end. He goes, that's what's good about you. And I threw him out the window and he goes, you know, and that's like, I had a picture like other kids talking about.

He's like, what kid, like what their fucking self-esteem comes from. And then they get to do it. Because I'm used to, I do what I do. That's really good. Yeah. I never spoken out of the building. What? Well, I did what the trans kids do now. I never smoked out of the building. What?

Well, I did what the trans kids do now. I go, if you don't let me smoke, I'm going to kill myself. That's what the trans kids do. They go, you can be tits wrong out of here. No, I would go, you have to let me smoke. So they were getting divorced and my father's like, well, he's just smoking a bag of that. It's not a big deal.

I smoke for years and I would just smoke. My grandmother let me smoke at her house and my friend's parents, my friend Ryan's, my friend Ryan was dating a stripper. He's my friend's in jail now. He's dating a stripper. His, you know, the like Indiana's most wanted. She was on Indiana's most wanted. So like, state troopers came to the house once.

My friend Ryan answered the door and like, they were like, and they were like, do an identity theft to do a bad stuff. And the troopers were like, where is she? And he goes, I don't know when you talk about it. And they go, listen, if you don't tell us where she is, you're an accomplice. So like, again, where is she? And my friend just was there like two seconds and then just looked at the cops and went, she's in the kitchen.

And they come. And they take this woman out in cops. And the boomer parents are kind of unfazed. And literally that knife within her world sitting there and his mother's like, you know what I want to do? What about a conduit in Naples? How about Naples, Florida?

I mean, it's gorgeous. The restaurants are great. This is after a woman had been taken out of the house in handcuffs. They were so crazy. So the book is just a collection of like these stories of these crazy people. That boomer generation is about like looking at a problem and be like, can we get out of this right now

and then just change topic? Yeah. It was never about, I feel like that's because they were raised by real fucking Neanderthals at least emotionally. Yeah. You think about it like a boomer is raised by someone born in like 1910 or 19, right? Right, right.

They had no skill set. Yeah. Nothing given to them. So then they just, No emotional life. No emotional life. Well, nothing given to them. So then he goes, no emotional life. They're like dogs. Well, boomers also have this very interesting victimhood complex.

Like they're always aggrieved. They're aggrieved. Like every time you're on the phone with one of them, like, you know, like my aunt, for example, during COVID she goes, I hope everyone gets this vaccine because I'd like to do some traveling and I've worked my whole life.

I'm like, everyone's worked their whole life. Everyone's worked their whole life. Who hasn't worked their whole life? Like she does, I've worked my whole life. Like, I'm like, everyone's worked their whole life. You crazy bitch. Like, of course they're fucking, but again, it was all about her.

She's like, I'd like to travel. What about me? What about me? Oh my God, I'd like to travel. What about me? What about me? Oh my God, I just remember what my dad liked about me. Because you know what's good about you? Yes. You're a girl, but you don't talk too much. Sometimes women, that's nice.

That's nice. That isn't nice, Colin. See, that's nice. I like that. You know what's good about them down the filters. You're not a chatting broad. Yeah, yeah. My father would say things to me, give me this advice.

Like, we'd be in a car. He'd be like, son, never overestimate your value. And then he goes, he goes, what, you do someone else will do too. He goes, he goes, he would say things like that. You know, like, he would just have these like, very like, you know. The thing is about these comments too, is if you were to ask your dad or your dad about saying that, they'd be like,

what's wrong with that? I'm sorry, my feelings. They're oblivious to the fact. But that mean for me, my parents used to introduce the three of us to people. Yeah. I have older sister and younger sister, and they would go, my older sister's Maria,

they'd be like, this is Maria, she's an A student, she's a great athlete, she's creative, she dances. She's like just like, just full of life. She's just amazing kid, and this is Jane. She's our baby, she's adorable, she's sweet. She's just the cutest little, sweetest girl. And then they would be like, this is Tommy. He's nice.

I go, is that it? That's the end of the thing. You were a man, you had to stand on your own. Exactly, they were just like, well, we take care of the girls. Yeah. You got to be like your... I was the only child of my mother used to call me in and go,

she was calling me and she said quietly, she goes, I always wanted another child. And your father didn't give me another child. And I don't know if this marriage is going to work out because I always wanted another child. I've just always wanted more children. And he's denied me that and I want another child. And I would just sit there and go, okay.

Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for that. I'd go, all right. So I love my mother and I do love my mother, but she was an horrible person. But also a lovely person. She was a great person too.

That's the thing is that when we talk about our parents and we criticize them, we criticize them from a valid place. But people are not one dimensional. So you can be like, my mom's crazy or horrible all these things, but that doesn't fully define her. You still have this nothing to do. We used to swim, like she taught me how to swim. She was a swim coach and I swam a mile in the bay

when I was six and she used to get all the neighborhood kids and we'd all like swim at like 5 a.m. and she would like train them how to be like good swimmers and she was really good. She was really good with that. She was really good like an aquatic person. Yeah. And she was like very much committed to that.

And then I was an actor and she was committed to that from when I was like probably seven, I started acting and I acted until I was about 12. And she really tried and we went and I do like it. I did. I just never had that big break where it was like this changes your life. And me and her went on a tour for like four months

with this touring musical Annie Get Your Gun. And she and we would be on the tour bus every night and then we toured with the whole production. And then, yeah, that they put me in an Amstel light shirt. What's better than that? Take a look at me and my dad right there. Look at his face. I was just, I was singing a song about sucking cock right there.

I was singing a song about sucking dick. And the cum comes out of the dick. He was like, you said this was an Irish folk song. The priest has a big guy. So, but like, you know, she was with me for that. And then I started doing drugs and she went insane. So we went on separate ways, but I still love her.

She went a little nutty and I just, at 12 years old, 13 years old, I started using cocaine and smoking weed, obviously weed first. I'm not nuts. But weed and blow and some viking in. And my friend's mother was a hooker and sold his drugs and we loved her. She's in the book, we love them all.

Did your mom do drugs too? Never. She did over the counter drugs. She's in the book, we love them all. Did your mom do drugs too? Never. She did over the counter drugs. She would take suit of fat. And she would drink like preventative cough syrup and tab. She loved tab soda and preventative cough syrup. What?

Oh, okay. And like suit of fat and like she loves it over the counter cocktail. Yeah. To just keep her going. Yeah. She loved it over the counter cocktail. She's an acting by the way.

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and two films that are coming out, which is awesome. That's great. One that was Eli Roth movie called Thanksgiving, which is really cool that's coming out. And then there's another movie that I'm hoping my scenes in. I imagine it will be, I can't say what it is. It's kind of a big deal movie in the directory yelled at me and said,

what are you doing several times? But then we eventually got to it. But that's the process, like to make it face. No, he's like, I don't understand what you're doing. He's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Oh shit. He's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? And literally next to me was the biggest,

one of the biggest stars of our era. So wait, whatever. What without podcast, tough guys. Showbiz. How did you handle that? Because these are the best. It's so stressful. So I mean, I don't even know if I can talk about it.

Let me talk about it a little. Let's talk about it. And then you guys can edit it out. No, we're going to talk about it. Because it's not a big deal. OK. OK. I'm in the film.

And it's me and this very big director and this very big star. Before you get to this, did you, were you just offered the part? Did you audition for it? I auditioned. So you auditioned and you got the part from that? I get the part.

They said it's gonna be like a funny part. Okay, maybe I have one joke, but it's not, you know, I get to sat, you don't get a script every day because it's like super hush hush, you know. So like then like they come in, they give me my lines and they're like, okay, and you move the book, you slide the book across the table, but not too far. Extended side of the shot. Put your hand on the book, but don't cover the title. You deliver your first line. He's going to open the door. Then he's going to hang up the phone. You look at him.

You deliver your second line. He interrupts you. Then you wait not too soon, not too fast, you deliver your third line. That's so high stress. It's so high stress. And I'm sitting there, it's 80 people. It's one of the biggest movies and I'm sitting there and a very, very big star who's like brilliant is in this little room with me. And then another brilliant star is there.

This is the first scene I've done in any film, okay? The number one. So I'm like, okay, I'm trying to remember like the first thing. I'm like, all the things. I'm like, the book, the fucking slide the book and fuck. The book and I'm like, I slide the book. And like, so I kept getting the line wrong. And the director's like, kept telling me the line.

He's like, this is the line. And then I'm like, okay, and getting the line wrong. And the director's like kept telling me the line. He's like, this is the line. And then I'm like, okay. And then he goes, he goes. I'm like, all right. I was like, I think I said that last time. He's like, you've never said it. But maybe next time you'll say it. I'm like, but then he was also being rough

with a lot of the other people who are much better. Okay, so. He'd been rough with a lot of people because that's his style and I respect that. I'm no millennial. I'm like kick me in the face, just make, just put my seat in the film because it did end up good at the end.

So, and I'm the draw on this film. I'm the draw, a lot of people are gonna argue that it's the other two. I'm not saying who they are, but I'm the draw. So wait, at what point does it go, what the fuck are you doing? He came up to me and he goes, hey, hey, what the fuck are you doing?

He goes, I don't really understand what's happening right now. He's like, he's like, you realize you have to do this the same time every way, right? The same time every time. He's like a fucking movie. He's like, I don't get it. He's like, what is happening right now? And I'm like, I'm really apologize.

I'm sorry. I'm trying to do all the things and whatever. And, and you know, so it was very, listen, it was stressful, but I like the pressure. Yeah. It was really good. I, I, and he's a great director. He made some of the greatest films ever.

I don't mind being shamed in front of. I'm kind of know who this is. I know, you have to tell us off, Mike. I'll tell you off. I'll, I'll, I'll,amed in front of you. I don't know who this is. I know, you have to tell us off, Mike. I'll tell you off. Just tell us. And I don't mind. Tell us out.

Yeah, no, no, no, no. I don't think they'll do anything to me. Here's, I'll tell you. OK, OK. OK. The movie is the Oprah Winfrey story. Oh my god, I believed you. I was like, nah, dude.

I play Steadman. No. Um, um, it's a very famous group of people. Come on. I saw it. But it's, I saw it. NDA. That's what I'm saying.

Cut it. Yeah, but I don't want to cut it. If I say that, I don't want to cut it. All right. All right, all right, all right. I'm gonna say it and then probably not cut it. Okay. BEEP. Oh my.

Big. That's big. It's big. And so we're gonna cut it. We'll cut it out. And he was rough with others. He was rough with everybody. That deserved we're gonna cut it. We'll cut it out. And he was rough with other people. He was rough with everybody. That deserved it.

I deserve it. And I will take it again. You can hit me. But it was very stressful. It's so stressful. And rough with the big talent too. Oh yeah. Really?

Because it is what it is. I mean, I don't mean rough. I don't want to say rough like passionate, everybody's passionate. Not no one's saying anything wrong here. Everyone's passionate and it's a beautiful process. Well, that's true because there are people that are tough.

The process is beautiful. In comedy that will say crazy, should you, but you know them so well, that you're like, oh, that doesn't even fit. It was wild because you know what? I got it by the end to a good place, and that's what a good director should do is to make you better.

Yeah. And that's where you're at. And I miss the acting and I'm gonna do more acting and I liked it and I'm really excited about it. Good. And I think I did a great job. And I think at the end, in the beginning, it was hard. Yeah. But at the end, in the beginning, was hard.

Yeah. But at the end, I think it all came together. And that's what counts. That's what counts. Have you been fired in show business? I've never been fired, per se. From a gig, I don't think. Like stand up. Yeah, I don't think I've been fired.

Mm. I mean, I was fired as a writer from Chelsea lately. That was pretty horrible. Yeah, I mean, that must be. Yeah, but that was it. And especially because I didn't see it coming. I think it was one of those where I had a job. That's why.

Oh, really? I never had a gig in, like I never had a job. Like I had stand up, I had the podcast. I never had a writing job. I never had any of that. Well, you're the younger, Jen. Is that stuff was kind of out of style, no? Like by the time you were...

People were doing it. I didn't want to, I didn't want to do it. I never wanted to be really nice. I never wanted to do it. I did a few pilots, you know, I wrote on a couple of pilots for getting central, but I never, once I got a taste of it, I was like, I don't know, and the other writers, I was like, I don't want. And that thing is the other

writers, they try to sell you on it. So they're like, you should you should try to do this. And I was like, because you know why there's some semblance of security. It's like, I can be a comic and be safe. So they're like indoor cats, right? Like that's that's why they're not truly funny, because they don't stand up. Well, some of them are really fun. Some of them, but they're not truly funny, because they're not stand-ups. Well, some of them are really funny. Some of them. But they're not, they're not, they're not, you're talking about on stage though. Yeah. But they're truly funny on paper.

No, I disagree. So, I mean, yes, there are people that are funny writers, joke writers, obviously. But like, I don't know, I don't L.O.L. a lot at like late night. Well, yeah, but that's that, that's that gig. I'm saying there's hilarious writer comedy writers Yes, that do of course that write amazing comedy

It's you're talking about for the specific show. Yeah, you know But I'm saying is that like some of those writers they would also some of them always had like a little bit stand up in there And they're like what do you do you go? I do stand up and they're like you really think it's gonna You're gonna rise a stand up right? So you try to do it. Well it's so rare, I think, you know, when you see all the people that are in the business, a lot of them become writers.

I just felt, I found a kind of boring, and I thought stand up was more exciting and the road was more exciting. Yeah, so much better. Freedom, yeah, freedom. Even when you're not moving a single ticket, it's like, there's something about the live performance that is like so much.

It was just more fun and thrilling and like, it kept you going, whereas like writers, you know, have these amazing lives, but I think you're more, you know, some of them, it's I guess more exciting than I think or more exhilarating. I just felt like for me, I like being out there and doing my own thing. Yeah, and I have to admit, my ego hated it

when the joke I wrote would be said by somebody else on camera. Right. Oh, that was mine. Right. I want that joke. I want to say it. Well, they're striking now, and we're going to see

what's happening. I think it's going to last a minute. It's going to last a long time. I am behind the scenes putting it all up, trying to help because I'm very good friends with David Zazlov, Ted Sarandos. All of the streamers are like my best friend. But I support the writers. But my best friends are the billionaire streamers. So it's like weird. So my best friends. But I see the writers point. But because they're my best friends. But I see the writer's point, but I'm very close with these people that I love.

Like I love these billionaires. Like I literally love David Zazov. He's like my best friend and like, so like sometimes it's so weird because he's like, why are you supporting them? And I'm like, David, like, I don't know. Like they're hungry and he's like, are they? And I'm like, I don't know. Like, they're hungry and he's like, are they? And I'm like, I don't know.

I'm in such a hard spot. You know what I mean? Are they? I'm in a hard spot because like, I see them picketing. And I want it, I'm not in the WTA. Right. And I want to get out. And I want to, you know, march with them. I want to march withTI. Right. And I wanna get out. And I wanna, you know.

March with them. I wanna march with them. But I'm in the car, often with a CEO of a streaming company, going to lunch, and we're talking about how to kill those people. We do that most of our lunches, we talk about how to get rid of them.

Sure. And here's the thing with AI, it's like, I think AI scary, but I also like think it's exciting to like have a robot do all of that work. And like have all these people that are doing it now, like maybe die. That to me is like a new, that to me is like a new thing. It would be so amazing if one of these CEOs with a car, and then did one of the picket lines. Yeah, I'm like, you're like,

by accident, by accident, I'm saying it was a total accident. Well, I think what's gonna have to happen is you're gonna have to have these, we're gonna have to have a meeting of the mines where everybody sits down and basically irons out something that everyone can live with

because we can't keep going on like this. No one in America cares about this at all. No, but not one human being cares about this at all. I barely care. The news barely registers. LA doesn't need to take any more hits. It's taking a hit. The weather this winter was not good. Rain, hail, sleet, bad, snow, very bad.

All of the good comics have left Los Angeles most of, most of, not all of, a lot of, okay? And really the two comics left in LA, it's like the same guy. And the two people that are fighting for dominance of the LA comedy scene right now are literally indistinguishable from each other, which is weird. And it's me and Matt Rife. It's the same guy. And we're talking about the same things. And so what it really is, is this fight between these two brothers who about the same things. And so what it really is is this fight

between these two brothers who are the same. To try to, to try to reach these people. Jesus Christ, is this what Matt looks like with his shirt off? That's what I look like too. It's these cameras. You don't have nice cameras. That's the problem is these fucking cameras. I tell Rogan to, all the money and dear antlers

and not the cameras because without the camera, no, but we're very similar. We look alike. We're the same type of guy and it's weird. It's weird and it's just both of us in LA like fighting for like who's gonna do it? That's the photo. Is that a lion? That's the photo.

Is that a lion? That's the photo where it's like, so it's hard. So that's what L.A. is right now. It's just me and this guy fighting for supremacy. Yeah. Being the same, you know what I mean? Sure. My crowd is all women because they're brilliant.

Yeah. Yeah. Because they're very smart. They're in the kind of women love it. The takes and I did a show at me Shane Mullen and Big J. It was an arena. All women. All women came out in Hershey, Pennsylvania.

All women who voted for Joseph Biden. That's my. All women who voted for Joseph Biden. That's my audience. Women who voted for Joseph Biden. How's that? And I'm proud of you. Do you, do you and Matt get along or is it pretty contentious? No, it's, we get along because it's like, but it's contentious because it's always tough to see your doppelganger.

All the time. And it's like, it's like, it's always tough to see your doppelganger all the time. And it's like, it's like, it's like, no, that's actually an awesome dude. He's a really sweet guy and he's funny and awesome, but, um, and we do look different. You do. So that's, that's, that's good. I think that's good. He's so cute. He's very, is a track kiss from a, from a movie or is that like a, look, can't, Kate Boat.

But I dated her and let me tell you something. I've that Kate Beckett cell. You go to dinner with her. I mean, you gotta fill the conversation. You try to talk to her about the Ukraine. You got another thing coming. She's got nothing. It's a joke.

We're all kidding. Oh, no. Oh my God. Is this real? This is what I'm not meant to be. Yeah. This is like there's this comedy people are now. This is truly fucking reality TV.

Yeah. Well, it is. Listen, for once the comics are getting laid, I think that's cool. It's cool, it's cool to be cool. It's cool to be cool. Comedy should get too cool. Not too cool. Not too cool. Because not good. No. It loses Colin Quinn's hat. It's what comedy gets too cool to always lose. For sure. For sure. It makes a lot of sense.

Yeah. For sure. That's why you gotta gotta like, you gotta kinda lean, you know, we all wanna be seeing a certain way, look good and all this stuff, but you gotta kinda lean into your flaws a little bit if you're a comic. Well, lean into humanity. Yeah. I think humanity is important.

I think technology is obviously very important, but I also think that like, the job of a comic is to like, kind of remember that human beings exist. You know what I mean? Isn't that profound? That was really good. Isn't that profound?

That was really good. That's the type of shit I say that's the dumbest shit, but it sounds good. I'll be like, the job of a comedian is to remember that human beings exist. No, but you're right because it's those little things, right? Like taking a shit. But we don't get to be the coolest. We don't get to be the coolest. No.

No. You're gonna be kind of cool. Like you're just kind, like, yeah, cool. Like, yeah, I wanna hang out with that guy, he's cool. But you don't get, you're not fucking. Like, Rogan is very cool. He's cool. But I'm saying is that

Keanu Reeves and John Wick, that's not a comedian. That's cool. but I'm saying is that Kiana Reeves and John Wick, yeah, that's not a comedie. That's cool. That's another thing. Who's the coolest? Anthony Bourdain was pretty cool. Yeah, but he wasn't a comic, right? No, no, no, no, no. I mean, just cool in general.

Who's the coolest? I gotta be honest with you, and you're probably gonna disagree with this as a mother. I like Casey Antony. I like her free spirit. She's cool. I like the Chaz of Free Spirit. I like, like, look I like her free spirit. She's cool. I like the cheers of free spirit. I like, like, look, get her up now. Let's see what she looks like.

I like her. I like her. That smile right there in the second. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's in court. Yeah.

I like her. I like, I think it's, I like strength. Sure. I like female strength. Do you have my self-portrait? Do you have my I like female strength. Do you have my self-willing dream photo of her? Like do we see, I wonder what she looks like? What is that expression? I mean, that's like, oopsie. She's like playing coy.

Oh, there's less of a smile now. Yeah. Well, because she's, this is what she's, well, she's right now, this, in that photo, right there, she just remembered she killed her daughter. That's always a rough moment. That right there, where is Casey? That photo, she goes, you know,

I'm the only girl. And they take photos in school and they're like, they're like, thinking right now, they're like, hey, you killed your daughter, then snap. Look at that Disney photo from TMZ. Look at her. She's that Disney photo from TMZ. Look at her. She's that Disney world.

This is what I think is so cool about her. Go up is the middle one on top. So somebody go at her at Disney world. She's put on a few pounds. She's looking at kids toys and Disney world. This is what I like about her. She's not letting you shame her because she's out there going,

I'm living my best life. She's still a mother. Going back to, she's my best life. She's still a mother. Going back to, she's still a mother? She's still a mother. Like to shift kids again? No, no, but I consider her a mother. At heart, yeah. She's a famous mother.

Do you imagine going to Disney without the kids? Jesus Christ. I'm she's doing it. Disney World, I think, in case Anthony's defense is really fun for people of all ages. And I think that's what, now I'm against that, I've made fun of it, but like, I think she's really getting the most out of it. Well, people like to get loaded at Disney World

is what I hear. There's like five bars there or something. What is she doing? Wow, she's really cool. Who's that guy? I think that's her father. Oh, you think. Or maybe not.

That looks cute. I bet she's fun to date though. Here's the thing with her, she's just fun. Yeah, she's a good time. Anyone who'd do something like that is also a game for other shit, you know? Oh, dude. I mean, she'll dine in dash.

Exactly. Exactly. Can you imagine? Be like, hey, the way she says it got in her check, why don't we get out of here? She's like, that seems inconsiderate. You're like, KC, she's just like, all right, I got it.

Exactly. And there's no sexual favor you can ask that she's gonna be like, I'm not that kind of girl you're like. She's not saying no to anal if she put her daughter in a bank. There's absolutely no way that's happening. Exactly.

And I do appreciate her. I mean, there's something about her. And I hope she becomes an actress or something. Cause I think she's got a lot to give. I want to thank both of you because, you know, you are, you're so funny. What you've done here is so crazy impressive with all of the different podcasts you guys have.

Thank you. It's insanely amazing to watch. You know, it's like, it's amazing. And, and it's just amazing. And I'm down here to the mother's ship, which I gave Joe Rogan the money to open. We don't have to talk about it. We don't have to talk about it. He didn't have any money. And he called me and he said, do you have money? And I said, I have a little bit. And I rode him a check to open that club. That was super nice of you. Yeah. It's really nice of me. And I don't bring

it up a lot. Yeah. But I bring it up to humanize him. You do not nice of you. It's really nice of me and I don't bring it up a lot, but I bring it up to humanize him. You do not have any money. It doesn't have any money. It's all fake, it's fake money. So, but no, it's amazing like what you guys have done. Thank you, thanks. It's really, it's been fun to watch you.

You know, we were one of the people who was like, man, just stay on the path, you know? Like, just keep doing what you're doing. There's not, like, you already made it. So you just have to, like, the only way you can fuck it up is by, like, stop doing what you're doing, you know? No, we're gonna keep doing stuff.

We're gonna keep trying to be funny. You know, we're gonna keep doing all the things that, I guess, you know, people do until there's a new thing. Yeah, then we'll try that. We'll all try that. It's a new thing, yeah. But you were supposed to be at the CPAP machine, the new movie with Bert Kreischer that.

Yes. The fat me. And I wasn't at it. You weren't at it. And because I'm doing a lot of work right now with orphans in the Ukraine. Oh, I didn't know that. A lot of orphans in the Ukraine are being shipped to Austin, Texas. And I'm making sure that had to get raised in good Christian families.

And I've been working with a lot of the orphaned Ukrainian orphan. But I love Bert. I hope the movie does well. I hope all the movies do well all the comedy movies me too Smashers movie everybody this put movies out. It helps all of us. It really does To have people go out there and see comedy movies and I also hope that you spend more time in Austin than LA I come on man. Well, I spent a lot. I mean, I spent well everything's a dump except Palm Beach and the Hamptons Yeah, that's the reality. Palm Beach and the Hamptons. That's the reality. That's just a reality.

You go to Palm Beach. The reality is real money every now and then. Real money is East Coast. It's Greenwich Connecticut Manhattan Palm Beach. Why do you think Epstein didn't live in LA? They never went to LA. Chusley Maxwell's never in LA. The top human traffickers consistently choose the East Coast.

The top. And that's a reality. But I spent a lot of time here. This is my residence, and I'm here, and I love it. I am here. Yeah, you are. You know, I pop in and pop out, and it is something that I was born here, and I was raised here.

Wow. Okay. So it's a different experience. It's in your blood and you love it. It's in my, I'm a ranch hand. And I believe in the, you know, whatever the's a different experience. I love it. It's like I'm a ranch hand and I believe in the, you know, whatever the hell is going on. But I like it. It's a beautiful place.

Tom Skurk, Christina Pizzinski, your mom's house podcast, the two bears podcast with Tom. And also, say can I say this? Yeah, of course. My new special Sledgehammer comes out fourth of July on Netflix. Sledgehammer fourth of July on Netflix. Seledgehammer Fourth of July on Netflix. Yep.

Oh, I'm in Toronto and Winnipeg finally September 6th and 7th. Come see me there. Fuck, yeah. Yeah, I'm stoked. And where are my moms at? Which, have you done that when you've done that? I should do it. I haven't done it.

I love to have you and we can talk, get some mom. I'm a mother. Yeah. Um, the pre-order of the book, the code is going to be in the YouTube description and a bunch of other places on my social media, probably my Instagram bio. It's going to be a lot of fun. I'm excited for it. Thank you guys.

I really appreciate it. Thank you so much. Bye.