The Tim Dillon Show - 353 - Hot & Dumb

Episode Date: July 10, 2023

Tim recounts the 20-year high school reunion he hosted over the weekend, celebrates those who are hot & dumb with Annie Lederman and breaks down why Jonah Hill is embarrassing the surfing community. Pre-Order ‘Death By Boomers’ By Tim Dillon 👉 https://rb.gy/gafn4 SPONSORS: Manscaped: Manscaped.com & use code 'TIMD' Birddogs Go to birddogs.com/tim or enter promo code ‘tim’ for a free Yeti style tumbler. Blue Chew BlueChew.com & Use Code: 'TD' Express VPN EXPRESSVPN.com/TimDillon ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch:  https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack

Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Tim Dylan show. I'm sorry we are a day late and a dollar short will be back on YouTube next week. I had a 20 year high school reunion in my backyard on the east end of Long Island. And I saw a bunch of people that I hadn't really seen or talked to. Many of them for like 20 years. And I thought it would be fun to do the episode with a comedian, a friend of mine, Annie Letterman, because I wanted an outsider's view. Annie came to my home, she stayed there,

and she observed and she mixed. We had high school friends, we had Anna, Hoshin and Dasha Neckoselver from the Red Scare podcast. Dr. Drew Pinsky and his lovely wife. Love him. Cat Timp from Fox News. Love her. Louis C.K.

Love him. Two of the women here, just give you an idea of the type of people here. Two of the women, two separate women at my party had one eye. So together they had the right amount of eyes. Two separate women at my Long Island, home made high school reunion had one eye. My friend Ed's wife had a virus, doesn't have an eye, walks around with a big patch. We love her. It was a thick patch.

It was a thick patch. Don't hop. She leans into it. And I love it. It was a cushy patch. She had a cushion. It's like a beer coozy on her face, which I like. And my friend Rob's wife also has one eye. And one of her eyes is just dead in her head.

So the two women, one I each, that was the type of party we had. Any, what were your thoughts, feelings, because you said something interesting. You said that I had, you know, people from the past here, and you said you feel, you're, I was just saying, you're going to, it's going to take you a while to like come down from this. This was a this was a weird thing. You just did. You just had your own high school you're at your house in your own space. All these people you haven't seen and people are acting great. I mean, there were people that were like, I just can see what they were like. I'm like, oh, I know exactly what you were in high school.

That I mean, the guy with no sleeves that was wasted. The only guy that brought a child was the most family. He was in the pool. He was having a good time. He lacked out immediately. Like, I think he came drunk. I think the daughter drove him, honestly. He was possible. And then there was the girl with the missing tooth, but that wasn't his wife. No, that was a friend of ours who came in like a bowl gown. You know, it's long island. It's hot. It's 90 degrees. who came in like a bowl gown. You know, it's Long Island, it's hot, it's 90 degrees. She walked in in a bowl gown, she has a big tooth missing and I said, how are you? And she said, I'm a civil servant.

And it was at a whistle. It wistled a little when she said it. She's the first thing she said, I said, I said, good. You know, cool. She goes, I'm a civil servant and I go, what do you do? She goes, I work with retarded children. That was the are you, did you, because I work with retarded children. That was the term she used. She goes, I work with retarded children.

And I go, good. I didn't even fall, I didn't do a follow up. Yeah. I thought it's good to see everyone. I thought they were a couple and I was sure they would have been prom king and queen. I was nominated for Homecoming King. For you.

The guy who won was here, Danny. Now, were you out? No, of course not. I'm not out now. I'm not out now. That's true. I saw that. I'm not a Putin.

Tim was kissing a lot of ladies at this party. That was what was crazy. I always should have had a fat wife that I cheated on. No, it is interesting to see what could have happened. But there was a guy that I was hanging out with who came who's a long island good looking person, very good looking. Yes, that guy was very good looking person. He's a good looking person.

Tall. And very smart. Yeah. And doing real estate because it's a job for smart people. It is. Real estate is a job for, do you think you can remember how many bedrooms are now. That's not easy. Square footage is hard. That's difficult. There's some math.

You know, I grew up in an area where people tend to have a feeling of superiority for no reason. Those people did? They do. Okay. They feel like long island people feel, we feel that we're better than other people because we have good breakfast sandwiches. The sandwich was good. I did have a good breakfast.

Yeah, but I would say I don't love any time at the party. Everyone was great. It was a fun time. It just why Dr. Drew and his wife loved it. They were great. I was sad when they left. I was devastated when they left. I love Dr. Drew and his wife loved it. They were great. I Was sad when they left I was devastated when they left. I love Dr. Drew and his wife. I was giddy I push Lucy K out of the way and I don't listen

You know I've joked around about Dr. Drew and stand up as a great bit about it Did everyone on celebrity rehab get all the help they needed? I mean probably not they got the exposure they needed but right That was their second chance. Yes. You know, was it great to point cameras at Tom's size more in Heidi Flies? Was that the best move? Did Jeff Connoway really need a credit?

No. But you do, you know, this business is vicious. Yeah. And you gotta do what you gotta do. It did wonders for Corey Ham He's which one is that? Oh, I don't think I'm alright. He He was the good one. Let's not get kicked off this I mean, that's the last thing I have I mean we're gonna be back up on YouTube soon I know everybody's angry, but the reality is I paid for blue check on Twitter. How long ago?

13 days ago 14 days. I don't know what the fuck is going on over there I don't have a blue check on Twitter. We cannot upload the show to Twitter. It's on threads now He doesn't even pay I threads I mean, I'm trying to get people to follow me on threads. I'm 38 years old. When does it end? It's really disgusting, you know, Anna Hashem made a good point because you have too much money to be on threads I just give up stop. I'm, that's kind of a decent point. Like, when does it end? Like, is it following me on threads?

Yeah, following any on threads. I need a, what is threads? It's like, it's Twitter for people that don't know about politics. So that's kind of refreshing, but you really is like, how inane and meaningless the thoughts of influencers are? They don't have thoughts. They're threading or whatever the fuck you call it. They're like, I'm eating dinner now. They're not jokes. They're not observations. They're just telling you what they're doing minute to minute throughout the day. And none of it's interesting. Threads is the exact same thing as Twitter.

I mean, there's not really, it's gonna turn into the same thing. Perhaps, but I don't know. I think the people that are on Threads don't have critical thoughts about the world. I don't think they're trying to, which is, I guess, nice in a way because Twitter is, you know, a hellscape of people fighting, but what else should it be?

Threads is almost weirder. It's almost more natural people on Twitter like fighting and calling each other groomers and notsies. And you go on threads and it's like, people are tweeting like the craziest shit. Is everyone's Twitter though the same as mine? It's just trans people and then anti-trans people. That's all it is.

I have absolutely nothing else on my Twitter. I've seen nothing else. That journey. I see nothing else. What it is. That's all it is. My friend, by the way, my friend's wife, who came to the house when we first bought it and took a bunch of photos. I don't know why, but God bless her.

She's now sending collages of what the house used to look like and what it looks like now. But she didn't do any of the fixing what the house used to look like and what it looks like now. But it's she didn't do any of the fixing of the house. She didn't do anything fixing, but like she's just sending collages like that's how much time she has on her hand. And it's like just cheat on your husband. Just cheat. Have enough.

She's sending collages to be of the whole way. But why is she? I find it unacceptable to be taking pictures inside someone else's house, especially a public figure. You're not just taking pictures. I wouldn't call it as a public figure. You are. A civil servant of sorts.

Yes, I'm a civil servant. I think she was just kind of like, she's trying to do a nice thing, which is nice. It just shows you on Long Island people, and she's got a kid, so she's got a little bit of time, I guess. I look at it like I see people like, and they ever was lovely, but it does seem like you are an opportunity for them.

So this was a big one guy who started asking me if I could help him with a show he wants to get on Netflix. Are you serious? I'm dead serious. He goes, I know you have a thing at Netflix. I'm like, oh, I don't have a thing. I have a comedy special that they paid me no money for, two license.

I barely made any money. I paid to shoot it myself. They licensed it. I got the same deal that all my buddies got. Yeah. That's it. There's no thing. What was the dress and what was the pitch?

It's like, it's like a power. It's like that show. But for a long Island, guys, I don't know what it is. But it's a show and he's like Netflix was interesting But since I have top boy, it's power for white guys. It's called white. No, it's a black guy that asked me. Oh, okay. It was a one-block I did see one great guy. I was like, where did the cap it came late? Great guy. He's a great guy He's a good guy. The art. Listen, the school we went to was diverse. Everyone had equal opportunity to come It was posted on a Facebook group,

not by me, by somebody else. I thought you did. When you said that, I was like, why would you post it on it? That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. No, somebody posted on a Facebook group, and the people that wanted to come, he gave him the address, and then one black guy came. But everybody was invited. It was not a situation where I'm like, let's pick a black guy. It was like, it's on a Facebook group. If you want to come, you can come. Yeah. And he came and I was like, he's a fucking awesome dude. And then he cornered me, he's got a Carvelle truck and he's like, what do you think about, you know, going over to Netflix and talking to them because we're doing, because you know, 50 cents a bullion, we brought it to 50, but 50. And I'm like, I don't,

I don't even know what's, I'm, we're all just trying to get fucking ice cream cones. We're trying to get a brown bonnet here. I don't know what's happening. Like, I think you thought that I had like a connection in Netflix where I could go, hey, you know, my buddy. Well, you, I think you were not, I'm sure there were a lot more like folded up pieces

of paper and people's podcasts that they were wanted to bring to you, but they didn't have the balls. I mean, I have a podcast. What do they I can't do anything? What are they crazy? They don't have podcasts. They want to go on Joe Rogan. I mean, maybe Do you think that fat chick with the tooth missing what's going on Joe Rogan? What's wrong with your mouth, man? Oh, mouth is weird The sprinkler kept going off and she was just right in it. There was just sprinkling right on her.

She's a good woman. She's a hearty woman. You know, in high school, sometimes that is the best it is sometimes for people. She was a popular girl there and it was fun. And you know, I think a lot, she was crying a lot at the end of high school because I think she knew that like this was a really good time and that it was ending.

Yeah. There are certain people you'll see in graduation. Oh, and it's the end. A little too upset. And it's kind of because they know that whatever's coming next is, you know, it's downhill. They peaked. Yeah. Or, or, you wish, it's downhill, they peaked. Yeah, or, or, Was she missing the tooth then?

I don't know. I don't think so. I don't know what happened. It's gotta be probably not cheap to replace a tooth. Yeah. And I'm not trying to be classist, but it's probably not cheap to replace a tooth. Doesn't cost much to lose it though. It's probably a good cheap to replace a tooth. Doesn't cost much to lose it though.

It's probably a good idea to replace a tooth. But I was happy everybody had a good time. There's another reunion that we're having in October, but I'll be on the road and they're doing like a bar crawl. It would be crazy to see everyone again in October. No, I will never see any of these people again. It was cute. I like watching it. I will see one or two of them again. You did like a nice thing for your high school friends

Like everyone was very excited to see themselves people did at the end start doing and I did see I was sitting over in like an area And I was the first comedian here and then it was all your friends and maybe some cousins and then I did see Louis CK show up with his dog and I saw his face when he looked around and saw no one he knew. Right. And I went, oh boy, this is going to be fun because I didn't know if anyone else was coming. Right. I didn't either. I was pretty excited about it.

But one of my drunken friends went up to Louis. I was like, hey, can I take a photo and Louis goes, I'd rather not. And then my friend looked angry. This guy, not really a friend. Somebody I knew looked angry at him, like, what the fuck? Yeah, no, I watched, I saw the thing. So what happened? So, like, it was very hot.

There were only a few places of shade. And at this point, I think there were just like some, like, New York comics, I don't even know. That were younger guys. Yeah, younger guys that I didn't know. And they were, it was interesting to watch how they would approach Louis. I already know Louis I've worked with Louis before.

So it wasn't like a thing, but it was interesting to watch some hover around. So he was starting to kind of get like the sharks swarming. And I saw it, but he was over getting some food inside. And then your friend from high school comes up. I think he was like leaving the bathroom. And he kind of like leans in like this was his moment. like they were seeing each other inside. And he's like, can I get a picture and Louis was like, yeah, I'd rather not, which you know, makes sense.

But also I probably would have just been like, let's do it. I totally understand why Louis said that. I don't think he thought he was coming to a party of comics is what he thought. I don't think you knew there was going to be a lot of. There were some podcasters. There was a no it was great. No, it ended up being perfect. I think the amount of people that came was it was great. It was't think you knew there was gonna be a lot of love. There were some podcasters. There was a lot of love for him. No, it was great. No, it ended up being perfect. I think the amount of people that came was great. It was so great. Yeah, there was enough people for him to talk to.

But yeah, there were some people asking him to invite comedy, but I couldn't believe it. What were they saying? I walked away, I came back, and there was someone going, going. He was, it was just so funny. Like the first few minutes he was so miserable. It was, it was, it was, it was, and I felt really bad inviting him

because I thought like Bobby Kelly and some people, Bobby Kelly's in New Hampshire and Bonnie and Vos couldn't go, a lot of people just couldn't go, it's around the road, you know, but Bert's whole fully loaded crew is on the road. So like, last year I had a bunch of comics and a lot of people came and Louis came to that. I think he thought it was gonna be that.

Yeah. This was not that. Louis said this was like walking around the deck of the cruise after you perform. So he was like 100%. Yeah, he was not happy. And I felt bad. But then people started to show up. No, it got really good. It was really he kind of was, you know, Cannonballs this summer it's not about the size of those cannonballs.

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like the khaki, but stretchy. So you got a waist slimmer fit without having a sacrifice movement. Bird dogs uses anti-stink sweat wicking fabric that keeps you cool and dry all day long. I love them. I have them. I wear them. My friends wear them. My family wears them. I, you know, I'll, can I tell you a story about bird dogs? I want to tell you a story. I want to tell you a story. My friend's father, okay, wore bird dogs all the time. And he did it because they fit better than other shorts. And he would complain, he got, I have these khaki shorts, but they're kind of stiff. And I, and I don't feel good.

So he put the bird dogs on, okay? I don't know why you're laughing. This is literally true one day one day He had bird dogs on the shorts, okay? And he was driving This is like a miracle. Do you believe in miracles? He was driving his car and he was drunk. He was intoxicated because he has a drinking problem. And as good as bird dogs are, they can't keep people from drinking if they have a problem.

But that's not the fault of bird dogs, right? The bird dogs are just comfortable shorts, but they can't change your entire life. So he was driving his car and he got into an accident and he killed two people and they were young. They were coming back from a movie date and he killed them. He killed them. They both died. And he was fine. And he thinks he was fine, because even though his car flipped over, he crawled out of one of the windows because of the agility that the bird dogs gave him. And they weren't constrictive, like they didn't constrict him. They didn't restrict his movement in any way. They allowed him to climb out of the window and he saw the two kids because their car also flipped

and he saw me crawled over to their car. He could see one of them was still alive, but her neck was broken and she was just kind of like, in pain and he broke her neck for her. He broke her neck like you would a deer. Like he broke her neck for her. He broke her neck, like a you would a deer. Like he broke her neck because he felt horrible about it but he knew there was no way out for her. So instead of her suffering, he just broke her neck.

He broke, and her boyfriend, her boyfriend was already dead. Go to burdog birddogs.com slash Tim for free Yeti style Tumblr with your order. That's birddogs.com slash Tim for a free Yeti style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off. We promise you. Yeah, but I mean, listen, I mean, at the end of the day, it's like, it's a fun thing to do. You do it one time. You do it one time. Like one of the guys was like, we should have dinner and I go, we'll never. Oh, it's wild. Everyone take a bite of it. They were lingering. They were lingering. Did you guys eventually kick them out? How did they know to leave? No, people just, you know, because it's like the guy. Here's a deal. There were people that showed up that we'd never spoken to in high school.

And it was a core group of people that knew each other. And then there was people that showed up that no one knew. Right. And we hadn't seen a few times or met a few times. And they were just here with their significant other. And, you know, that was nice for them. But it wasn't any, you know, I don't, we don't, you know. And they were kind of like setting up by themselves

and it was like a little high schooly again, right? It was exactly high schooly again. It was high school again. Were you like the king and high school, though? Because you were very king. Like people were very. In ninth grade, I was very unpopular in tenth grade. And nobody knew who I was.

I was doing drugs with my old friends from where I lived Catholic school guys were at Jocks and I wasn't a Jock and I Didn't fit in but I wasn't a theater kid. It's like I'm what I am now. I just don't fit in. I've just carved out my own little thing I didn't fit in at all and like in 11th grade I started to make more friends and then the summer between 11th and 12th grade I was like I really want to be popular and I record actually to the episode of my podcast about this called How To Be Popular, which people love is like a classic episode where I talked about how I did it.

What'd you do? Give me a quick one. The recap of it is and the quick recap about it and, you know, is that you break into the popular crowd. There's always a guy who doesn't belong in the popular crowd and you become his friend and then you eventually replace him. And you, you know, you have to choose a personality. You have to pick a personality. Yeah.

You have to pick the person you're going to be for senior year. Are you the funny guy? Which is what I was? Funny kind of crazy. Are you the hot guy that can again if you're not hot, you can't be the hot guy? So many guys never got that memo. Yeah, so pissed so mad still like I was going for that wait So did you have a girlfriend in high school? I'd a girl I out with a lot. And people were like, oh, maybe they're, oh, somebody brought her up last night. I remember someone was like, whenever I see you, I hung out with a lot.

And then she was my assistant for a while and then booked me in business class to Australia instead of first, I find her. Oh my God. Yes. Now, okay, so I will say that observing your friends from high school, I think they did a good job. I would give them like a C plus, which I think is really, really high for high school friends.

There are a lot of them are cool people, good people. They did great. Like they did great. Only one, I saw one girl at the end trying to like, nag you kind of. I can't remember what she said, but it was something. It was at the very end. She was kind of trying to like be mean funny to you. And you ignored it and she stopped.

But I was like, I didn't say a lot of that. And I think that's always the fear being a comedian going back to hometown. Is people thinking the way they're going to be like funny with you is like, just say like a nasty thing that doesn't like you. Now everybody was pretty cool. There's not much left to talk about. You rehash some old stories, some fun stuff. Remember when, remember when we did this, remember when we did that. But senior years, the year that I like came out of my shell

and like people started to like me because I had confidence and I, you know, made it a point to make people like me. Like I wanted people to like me. And I tried, that's the other thing people, you gotta try. You know, you have to try, that was a how to be popular episode. And it's again, it's not, it doesn't matter if you're popular or not.

I'm not. It can hurt you in high school honestly. It can hurt you, I guess. But also I made the point that a lot of popular people in high school do go on to have great lives and a lot of losers in high school go on to be losers. Like, we have this idea and pop culture that they're gonna go on and like be brilliant,

like write a novel or a play and change the world, but that doesn't happen. A lot of them just stay freaks. So the reality is you have to try. If you don't have any friends, it's probably your fault. Yeah. And that was kind of the point of the episode. But like in ninth grade, I had no friends. It was my fault. Yeah. You know what I mean? But everybody was kind of, it was pretty cool.

And everybody was kind of the same as they were. I would be so upset to say everyone from my high school. I would be not happy about it. You handled it really well. It didn't seem like you didn't have any like, you're very open about the invite, I would be not happy about it. You handled it really well. It didn't seem like you didn't have any like, you were very open about the invite, I guess. People just on Facebook, there was no like, you were very welcoming to people. There was no one that you were like, oh God, even the drunk guy that was being ridiculous.

And yeah, I mean, they were usually having fun, you know, like I didn't have problems with anybody. Right. It's nobody I dislike. You know, I don't care. I mean, one guy messaged me, but this was a guy that was older than me a few years. He's like me and my father are trying to get on Joe Rogan. Oh, that's weird. And this was like a mob guy who's like to live. Then he was like, I guess the money changed you, but don't worry, we got that old money.

He's like crazy. They're like, so many people actually, my mother is a schizophrenic and now knowing more about, like you know what people say, autism is a spectrum, which it is, schizophrenic is a spectrum. Now people, there's a lot of people that are, I would say 20 to 30% of the population of this country at any given time is mentally unwell. And are you talking about, because I think I know you mean,

we're like people are in a fight with you that you're not having. We're like, oh, the money. Yeah, it's like a psychosis. Like he's like, number one, thinking that I could just call Joe and go, put this crazy person and his father on your, I've never told Joe to have one person on his mind. It's insane to tell him. I've never suggested why would I do that.

He doesn't, that would be. He's doing a good job. When you give someone advice, it's because they're lacking in some way. Imagine me giving advice to the guy that gave me a career. What insanity would that like? I've never in my life been like, have this person on. Yeah.

He has on who he wants to have on. Yeah. So the idea that number one, not knowing that or not putting that together, and then being like, I guess the money changed you, because I didn't respond to him on Facebook Messenger, which I looked at once a year. It's crazy.

I told you today I had this like elderly woman asking if she could open for, I'm like, I don't know you, who are you? And then they don't, you don't respond and like, you're a bit or whatever, you're like, what the hell? Well, they're having a big problem in their head. Yeah. Something's wrong in their head.

Something's really wrong in their head. His next post on Facebook was, I just got my brother and law reunited with his kids and my father's threatening me over it, but I don't care And it like imagine chairing that Yeah on Facebook and there's a photo of him and the guy and he's like he's like defy sort of God He because I just looked at his thing because he sent me a message the message was My sister won't talk to this guy because he met another bitch, B.I.S.H.

but I got him reunited with his kids after seven years of my dad does it and I'm like, and he's telling to people on Facebook what's happening with his family. And I'm like, why would you do that? What is, but then you go, oh, you're crazy. Right. You're nuts.

And you think people are invested in your story. It's nuts. But also it's like, you don't wanna read. And then what happens? Also it's just so funny. She doesn't like it because he met another woman. It's like, yeah, yeah, that's probably a damper on a marriage. When you go, he met another bitch

and she's got a problem with it. And also the dad, if the dad doesn't want her back with him, he probably did some other shit. You know what? It's like, why would these people? Cause like people say to me, they go, well, you talk about your aunt and stuff. Cause I have a show and it's entertaining.

I make it funny. Hopefully. But why would these people, you know how many people I read about their custody on Facebook? I'll go on every like six months. Do you know how many people detail in meticulous detail? They're custody battle. And they post a photo with their son or daughter

and they're like, haven't seen little man in a while. And I'm like, wait a minute, why are you sharing this? You're also unfit to be a parent if you're sharing this. Like, this is thousand percent. This should be able to be used against your end court. And it is. No, it is. I have a friend that's a lawyer, they do.

They're like, this is inappropriate. Yeah, they're like, why are you doing this? I just, social media has broiled the brain of so many people that like you get messages from certain people and they're like, get me in my dad on Joe Rogan's house. I've spoken to this person twice in my life. And he's like, well, we got that old money. And I'm like, dude, I don't even know what we're talking about here.

I don't know why you're yelling at me. I don't know what, like literally, I'm gonna tell you. I'm a radio, I'm a radio whole message. Because I found this fast. I was like, this is a fascinating, really interesting look at mental illness. And I don't know what to do about it. Other than to be like, okay, obviously I'm not going to respond, but it's like one of the craziest things that I've ever read. And it was funny.

I'll give him that. Okay. Ready. Here we go. Hey, Tim, it's blank. Me and my family are doing a movie and a reality show. Wanted to see if we can do a podcast with you, me, my dad, and Rogan. Let me know what you think. My number is blank.

Hope you're doing well. That was June 23rd at 12 p.m. June 23rd at 321 p.m. He went question mark, question mark. I mean, and so June 24th, he had had enough. He had had enough. I mean, I follow up question mark is so on. It's three hours later. Two hours, two hours later. So now by June 24th, he had enough of me. I'll just have my manager retouch out to Rogan. Yes.

Guess that money changed you. LOL. We're successful people too, bro. We got old money. July 2nd, 5.23 PM, he wrote, Faggot with 3G's. Oh my. Oh my.

Again. I wish him luck. I Again You know what I wish him luck We're doing a movie and We want in a reality show We're doing a reality show in 2023 it's self-hester Stallone and his daughters. We're doing a reality show Now okay wait

The question mark question question mark, this really pisses me off. Yeah. Do people not realize that at this day and age, a non response is an acceptable response? Well, do people not realize this? If you send somebody a message on a Facebook, which I don't post on really anymore, having for years. Yeah, of course.

Two hours later to be like, hey, where the fuck are you? And then the next day to go, hey man, we got all money. We got, you know, I'll reach out to my man. I'm like, hey man, I don't. Oh, so by the way, if that was an option, why are you saying this thing? What do you think was gonna happen? Like did he think that I was going to

Then respond and go no good. I'd hey Joe said Can you guys do next Wednesday? Come to Austin Come to Austin I don't people aren't saying and the thing is they're to, they're listening to Rogan for like four hours a day. And this is a guy whose dad was in the mob. Yeah. And that's, and the sopranos is like based off this guy.

So that's why he wants to. legit. I mean, he's a legit legit guy. He's starting to sound like a good Rogan guest, honestly. The more you talk about him, it's not. It's gonna be one of those things which is completely changes, like in the middle. It's not the worst Rogan.

We just called you out. No, no, listen. We just called you out. We're like, Joe, we got an idea for you. Joe, sit down. You're the deal. It's not the worst Rogan. It was the guy that David Chase

based the sopranos off. The Rico transcripts that were used for a lot of the episode ideas. Chase based them off the guy. And I've talked about them before on Rogan. Right. And I've talked about them before. I don't know the son that won my mom. I'm so sympathized with the enemy now.

My mom taught the kids how to swim. I have no problem with these people at all, at all in any way. Maybe you were being a fat guy, I got good. But the idea that like I am going to call Joe Rogan. No, they don't understand. So like you on his show, like, yeah, is it the worst guest for Rogan? No, but again, I don't, it's not my job to call Joe and say, hey, Joe,

I grew up in a town with a guy who's in the mob they made this a Prano's Based on a lot of the stuff. He's on me a Faggot. You should have them. Yeah, right. Do you want to interview them? Like that's not my job as a friend. It's a crazy thing. It's my job is to like go Joe How are you has your family? What's going on? Like I don't, you know, it's a wild thing to be in the Rogan orbit because have a fighter in the kid. I'll get you on that. Should I, I'll, I'll type back right now.

I'll go, how about fighting the kid? I don't have a baby. I listen, I'm not even holding it again. She called me, bag it. We'll move on. Don't worry about it. I got an idea. fighter in the kid. Hey close second.

It's a feeder show to Joe. Fighter in the kid you go on that. You go on that you got to pay for your own travel. They'll have you. You know trash Tuesday. Are you I will you have the my trash Tuesday. Perfect up. We're really lila books it Should I just tell him to call call I la cune

Yeah, well, let's give her a real number. Oh my god. I mean what am I my disguise manager? I'm saying and then for him to say like I'll have my manager reach out It's like okay, that's what you should have done Yeah, dude, I don't know what you want me to do I Don't know you want me to do He didn't even ask to do my show. He did ask wait not to do my show. Yeah, it's out of like he did No, he said I want to do Rogan with you and my dad. Oh, okay I thought I miss that very much. Which, to be honest, might not be the worst.

If you just start showing up with guests, next time you do Rogan. It might not be the worst idea if we believe me, this big mafia history show and I could sit in on it and throw a joke in there. I mean, Tim, this hasn't... It's actually not. It's never been a bad idea.

It's not the worst idea. The guy blew it at Faggot, really. I mean, it's like he's still a champion. No, no, no, I don't care. That doesn't bother me. I still won't ask Joe to have somebody on his shirt. That's the craziest thing. No, but it happens all the time.

It happens all the time. No, I have a close friends of mine, be like, they're in the business, go like, hey, how does the Rogan booking work? And I go oh, I don't know he's my friend. I don't ask him for anything Like he's been so good to me and so generous. I don't tell him what to do. I just say thank you He has the biggest podcast in the world He does a really good job of talking to people that he has an interest in. Yeah. I'm not gonna call him and go, hey, I have a friend that wants to do your show.

I mean, that's crazy. It's insane. And that's not even your friend. He's not even my friend. It's not even your friend. No, we barely know each other. Yeah, I think the best case scenario for that guy that could have happened,

it would have had to be so organic. Like, you guys started talking about the sopranos and you go, like, this is like the, this is the only way it could have happened. It would have had to be so organic. Like you guys started talking about the sopranos. And you go, like this is like the, this is the only way it would have happened. You guys are, you're on Rogan. The sopranos comes up. He goes, oh, I wonder who like the sopranos was like written after.

We've done that. We've done that. Oh, you did talk about it. We kind of talked about it. Okay, so then it would have happened already. And he would have gone, oh, really? And then afterwards he would have been like, oh, I should have those people on.

It would have to be his idea. I also thought you weren't really allowed to talk about everyone in the modern that gets to talk about anything. Yeah, they're just like, I have like podcasts. The guys who were in the mob. I know. I didn't even think that was a thing. Everybody's podcasting.

They got to get in the algorithm. I mean, yeah. So, but it was just funny. Like, that's what you, like I barely opened up Facebook messenger. And that when I opened it up, you even bringing that up should have just been like, that's so above and beyond anything anyone would have done for that person.

As you even describe the town I grew up in, grew up in, I always mentioned that because that's a cool, it's like trivia. It's like a fun fact. It's like, here's what happened. You know, Henry Hill lived in our town too. Like, good fellows that got Paulie, who was the capo that I forget which family, but like, he lived in our town.

It was a tiny little mob town with really good Italian food, a bunch of Coke bars, and it was a horrible place for a kid to grow up who liked putting things up his nose. Yeah. Which my father and my aunt and her husband moved out of my town because quote, it didn't seem like a great place to raise kids.

My father, because he liked playing music, was like, why there's so many bars. There's so much coke. There's so much below here. So they stay, like my dad literally said about this new town he moved to in Long Island. He goes like this, he goes, it's a great place to raise a family.

I'm like, you're 70 years old. Where was that energy when I was like 12, 13 years old, completely lost, wandering around the world looking for drugs? What, how would you underline coke? For real? First line was the summer going into eighth grade. Oh really?

So that's 13. Yeah. First line of blow. We never did, yeah, we weren't in a coke area. And everybody's always like, he's lying, he's making that up. No, people say that and they go, why would I make that, like, why would I make it up? And then every now and then there's like a comment on YouTube or something goes, no, no, that story is really hung out with him.

Oh, it's crap. It was me my friend, shea. We got Coke and we did it in the summer. It didn't didn't really work. Yeah, we had to do it like and then we tried a few more times and then it worked. Maybe we didn't get good Coke early on or it just't, you know, we didn't know what it was. It was numbed our lips. It's like business man aspirations to like that's the you didn't do weed, which would have kept you like, no, we were smoking weed every day. You were smoking weed. We were smoking weed every day. We smoked weed weed. We'd ever, Coke was out around. Coke was something we did like in college. Right. But there was no like kids with coke. No, like my friend Tina hung out with older people. She hung out with a white girl named LaFawn.

She hung out with a girl named Diana who was goth, why called the bat? That was her nickname. And she hung out with older people that were in high school. And I used to hang out with them and they got all of the drugs. Like my father dropped me off at teen night once and I snuck out of teen night, which was like a Friday night, two hour thing in the gymnasium at the school. And I snuck out of that and got high with the high school kids.

And then my dad picked me up and I was like, okay, this is how out of it, my dad was once I lied to him, I said I'm staying for Chef's Club, which was a real club in the school, but I just lied and said I was staying for it. And then my dad showed up at the school. I'm like a half hour later, he walked in the school, like totally shut down.

And I was like, oh, I'm sorry. Like I literally got to the school late, but I didn't. You were high on code. I was high and smoking weed. I'm sorry, man. And then I showed up and he was like, oh, okay. And he's like, what did you make today at Chef's Club? But I'm like, uh, uh, an omelet.

He's like, nice. And then just drove away. He was like, okay. But like they weren't thinking that I was getting high. Yeah, I think, I think like also, you would probably get away with coke, just coke. Right. Over weed, it's so insane to think like a 13 year old don't coke.

No one would ever think that. It's the great, it's insane. No one would ever think a kid that's in eighth grade would be on coke. Kids have naturally coaky energy. Like I, I mean, we were starting a hydro, which I guess is the same, or it was brittle and back. It would almost make them crazier to be like,

is he on cocaine? Yeah, he'd be like, this guy's insane. Is our son on coke? But we do to be like, all right, my kids acting sluggish. They're not acting like a kid. Yeah, I mean, they figured out pretty quickly that things were going downhill because I was acting, you know, I was being like me and my friend were planning a bunch of pool parties.

Yeah, we're doing what I started telemarketing from the house. Yeah, I'm business. Like, oh my god, our kid isn't a bit of a... No, but we started doing that thing where I would go, I'm staying over his house and he'd be like, he's staying over my house and then you'd go night to like and get below and like the projects and Long Beach which is the town next where I lived and we would just hang out with older Hispanic people Hector Sonia again, I'm not making them Hispanic for the story. They happen to be Hispanic Getting caught with those sleep overnight. It was the worst. It was the worst

I remember the worst night was like me and my friend. Literally every time we went back to his house, there was a corner we turned. And we could see his house. And every time we went back to it, all the lights were black. And that was our like, take a breath moment. You're okay. Now you just have to go on really quietly. And then one night I remember it clear as day. It was like, pangs of fear. I still almost get like a mini panic attack thinking about it one night We turn that corner and every light in his house was on his room The living it was so bad and we we knew

Immediately and we were just trying to get our story straight and we walked in and his mom, Barb, was, and I mean, Barb was great. Barb, I just want, I don't want to, Barb McGulley hand, that was a full name, Barb McGulley hand, I have to say it because it like adds to the story. She was sitting at the kitchen table as she usually was smoking a Marbure red

and we walked in and she went, hello boys. And we were like, and she goes, what were you doing? And we said, oh, we just went out for a walk. And she goes, really? She goes, patty Dylan and me have been on the phone. Patty thinks we should have called the cops.

And I calmed her down, but I think she's right. I think we should have called the cops. But you end up patty wagon? She said, because I don't know what you boys were doing, but it probably wasn't legal. And we were like, oh no. So then literally they drove me back to my house. I got out, I walked in my house,

and my mother was just yelling, Trug addicts, alcoholics, your father's family, you're just like that. Trug addicts, alcoholics, drugs. She's like, your eyes look all fucked up. What if you die? What do you want? Should we go to the hospital right now?

Like, no, no, no, no, no, let me sleep. Let me sleep. Oh my God. Yeah, she was like, should we go to the hospital right now? Your eyes look so fucked up. I'm like, I'm not on anything. We were taking a walk. We're like too fat little kids.

We're like, we were walking. We didn't exercise. Yeah, like we were like, like we were trying to, she's like, we were, we wouldn't walk home from school. By the way. She's like, she's like, jug addict. How the hell it's? I still remember trying to fall asleep,'t walk home from school, by the way. She's like, she's like, drug addict alcoholics. I still remember trying to fall asleep coming down off blow, which is the worst sleeping.

I think this might have been like ninth grade or the summer going into ninth grade or whatever. And I just remember hearing my mother downstairs yelling drug addicts, alcoholics, drug addicts, alcoholics falling asleep to that. And like, but you know, next weekend, no, they don't, the boomer. like a hollix falling asleep to that and like two things sounds. But you know, next week it happens. No, they don't, boomer. What are they gonna do? But do you think if they had called the cops on you

and did they ever call the cops on you? I'm trying to remember if they ever called the police. Cause I always wonder that like that, that, that, uh, tactic. My mother might have called the cops and might have been like, well, if it doesn't come home, call us back, there's nothing we can do. Right. Um, I don't remember them ever calling the police on it. You could have been like scared straight if they should call the cops. We are, it would have been nothing.

No, I was really committed to doing what I was doing. Yeah. When you were a drug addict, you were committed. You, you, you, you are the drive that you have to secure drugs. If you had that drive in other, any other area of my life, if I had that drive to be physically fit, I'd look like Matt Rife. Like, do you realize we were stealing money from our parents and purchasing Coke, pills, weed? We were trying to steal anything we could. We were, we were stealing things from our parents and purchasing Coke, pills, weed.

We were trying to steal anything we could. We were stealing things from our house going to pawn shops. We were running scams, printing up fake things. We're going on a field trip. I need money. $25.50. Like, you didn't have a fear of getting caught. I feel like I was bad, but I never went too bad

because I always was still very worried. We absolutely had a fear of getting caught, but it didn't matter. Well, we just loved getting high. Right, more than that. There was nothing better than being high when I was young because when you're young, you don't know really the other side of it yet.

You don't really know the other side of it. So it's just fun. You're just giggling, you're laughing, you're like you and your friend are at a beach and you're high and you're like falling over. You don't even know what you're laughing at. Then you're like, let's go to the pizza rhea and fucking eat barbecue chicken pizza.

And then let's fucking sober up and then smoke more pot. We had like a house, like my friend, my best friend in high school. Her parents had this like really cool house. They were antique dealers. So they had like all this cool shit in their house. And her dad was like a big pot head and they would just let us smoke weed

and let us get all fucked up and we play pool. And she said it was pretty perfect and awesome. And then my parents didn't let us do anything but they would get mad when we would do acid and stuff but we wouldn't get too much trouble. It was weird, it's the different. And she's fine. She owns a restaurant, she's doing good.

It's not like that was bad parenting, I guess. Because it didn't turn into anything crazy. You know what it comes down to, I think, is what your parents, like what they're with their like relationship to drugs was. So if like, you know, I grew up with kids whose parents were kind of like, we smoked a little weed and we were fine. So like the parents were not, they didn't care.

They're like, yeah, we got high, we were teenagers, we got it, we got drunk. My parents were more militant because they, you know, they were just kind of like, I think they were like, oh, it's so easy to fuck your life up. They were probably like, we fucked our lives up. Yeah. Like, and we didn't even really get high and we're fucked.

So we didn't even really get that high. And we are bill like month to month, bills all over the table, picking which one gets paid, which one does in credit cards maxed we are life is going to throw you Around and if you get high you're gonna have no shot. Yeah, and That's what I think they're because they couldn't help me that's the other thing They didn't have the money. They're like we can't get you out of jail. We don't have lawyers Yeah, they're always paranoid about getting sued. They were like, they were like,

don't let anyone in our backyard. If you guys are getting high, somebody falls in the pool, they correct their head. Like your mother teaches private swimming lessons in the pool, like you do something dumb, we lose our house,

we're gonna get sued, we'll lose our house. That's why she couldn't call the cops on you. They'd have to be the ones that like paid to bail you out. Right. They were paranoid about all that stuff. They didn't have,

I had friends that came from environments where their parents literally said to them, it's going to be okay. My parents never used the words. It's going to be okay. Because it was it. And for them, it wasn't like they knew like their marriage fell apart. They didn't have the money to get a divorce lawyers. They hired a mediator. He divided up. It was a media. I mean, just sort of.

Yeah, it was a media. It was like contacting people from the other side. It was contacting a divorce lawyer that had passed. Yeah, it was like, it was that bad. So like, then I had friends like I was friends with this kid who lived in Long Beach, which is the town next to me. And his parents had a little bit of money. And like, you would go to his house

and they didn't care that he got high. And they had this big beautiful house. And his dad was like a really professional guy. And the dad, and they were divorced. I think the dad wanted his son to like him and think he was cool. And the dad was kind of like, yeah, you guys get high. It's not a big deal.

And I remember like the feeling of like, oh, they have money. And that does allow you to be a little looser with things because they weren't paranoid all the time about, you know, getting in trouble. Like, what's going to happen? What's going to happen if, you know, the dad was probably like, yeah, what's gonna happen? What's gonna happen if, you know? The dad was probably like, yeah, you smoke a little weed, you'll grow out of it. Now, I don't know if that kid grew out of it. I don't know what happened in that kid, you know what I mean? It's just, wasn't a super close friend of mine,

but like, it was the guy that I knew and like, some of my friends' parents just had a different attitude about their kids getting high. Yeah. My parents like, didn't really let us get high. And so once we're turned to 18, but they like they got us kegs and stuff. We like had parties at our house.

Like grandmother would buy me sigs because I smoke cigarettes my whole life. And she'd buy me bottles of alcohol to go to the senior parties with because when I was a senior in high school, everybody had everybody drank. And she got it and she was cool. I mean, there is an acceptance in this culture

of your children drinking. And I think now Marijuana is more included in that. Although now it's stronger and people have even more psychotic episodes. I just feel like it's bad. Like weed really to me is like a lot worse. For me personally, then a lot of things have been. Listen, I gotta be, I've always said it. I'm like, there's a lot of happy me personally than a lot of things have been. Listen, I gotta be I've always said it.

I'm like, there's a lot of happy people that don't do either. Yeah. If I could do it all over again, I would not be sitting on this porch. I would not be doing comedy. No, literally, if I could do it all over again, I would have tried to, and I would have failed. And everyone's going to laugh and I say this to Guru, which is fine. If I could do it all over again,

I would have tried to be really hot and stupid. No, people say to me, they're like, what if you could do it all over again? And I love the people that go, if I could do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. It's like, shut up. Will you shut up? Well, you shut up.

You learn nothing in life. You learn nothing in life. I would try to be hot and dumb. Yeah. I would try to be hot and dumb. And I'll tell you, I mean, I wouldn't try to be dumb. I wouldn't actively try to be dumb, but it would just kind of happen. And here's the reason for that.

If I was athletic and hot, and I would have tried to be like a, you know, like, when I was life-crowning If I was athletic and hot and I would have tried to be like, you know, like, when I was life-crowning, I was fat and I smoked and I was ready getting into drugs, like, I was ready to just try to be funny. Like, if I had never developed that thing of trying to be funny and I could have just been hot and like dumb. And just naive, not noticing,

and I even dumb and not know what was going on Not nobody's horrible people that run the world and rape kids and just kind of be out of it a little bit and hot That's really not the worst way to go. I'm telling you right now That's actually now obviously it was never in the cards not in my DNA My mother said when I was young she was your meso morph you'll collect weight in your middle So my mother said your meso morph She goes his people that are an act of morph because you're a meso morph you'll collect weight in your middle

She goes you should face you she cursed you Yeah, but people say to me. They're like what's the best life? I'm like hot and dumb No comparison you being like a fat smoking lifeguard though, that's really, that's a, that's a site. Well, here's a thing with lifeguards. They're actually in your zone. I wasn't, I was chubby. I wasn't like fat yet. You know, lifeguard is not about saving lives. It's really, especially where I worked in a beach club. It's about abusing power. It's about rules. It's about laws.

It's about hierarchy. It's about capitalism. It's about people that are in combat as versus people that are in lockers. It's, you know, it's about letting people break the rules if they pay enough money and are hooked up with the club. It's where you learn about life if you can pay attention. It's not about dragging people out of the water.

It's not Baywatch. It's not a fucking movie It's about letting Chinat do whatever she wants eat pizza in the pool gives a fuck she share fucking husband as you know Some Wall Street shit job and she takes her kids down every day But they love her at the beach club and she gets to do what she wants Or she wants to eat a fucking pinwheel in the pool. She can do it But if some slob with no money wants to do it, you fucking scream at them. And then you look at Chinat and wink at her. That's what being a beach club life card in Long Island is about. It's learning that the rules are different for all, you know, different groups of people. But hot

and dumb is a great way to go in life. And by the way, if it's, if it's, if it's all in the cards for you, do it. Is there a better way to go through life than ignorant and taught? I mean, to be honest, I mean, we can explore it intellectually. Is there a better way to go through life to be hot and dumb? Yeah, I guess being really smart sucks. It's certainly not preferable to hot and dumb. No, I think being aware of everything is annoying. Oh the worst Ugly and dumb ugly and dumb is not good ugly and dumb isn't good hot and smart is still a burden of Knowing more than you should people don't take you seriously anyway, and you know it and you know that I know hot smart people

They're like they live in a prison Because they're like everybody's like shut up But now on tic-tac they can tell you some really cool facts and be hot and people will stop Tic-tac's their moment hot smart's not bad But hot and dumb man is that the ticket That's the ticket yeah, because you don't have the awareness to know what people think of you and you don't care You're just like, Hey, water's wet. The sand is hot.

And they do find his wet or dick is hard. Hot, hot, dumb people find each other and they have hot, and they have hot, it's perfect. Yeah, families and it's great. And they just, yeah, they just post their pictures of them looking great. And then they're just tan and they surf and they're like, hey, and they just regard everything that's got like, well, if you start talking to them about anything real, they just giggle. They're like, uh, they have no idea.

They don't know why everyone's so angry. They're always like, why is everyone so angry? I'm like, cause they're not hot and dumb. You hit a double jackpot. You're hot and retarded. Why are people mad? Well, they're not hot and they know how badly they're being fucked. That's where they're mad. Hot and dumb people luck into things. They lucky. People give them jaw people love having hot dump. I love it. I love hot dummies. People that are hot and they don't challenge you rigorously

intellectually are amazing. That's where they always luck into things. Yeah. They always luck into jobs. They're good to be around. They're good to look at. Oh, it's a mix. Your favorite Christmas tree ornament. Six pack without a brain. Bring them in. Oh, it's amazing. There's no better. People just start giving it,

if you're hot and dumb enough, you can show up at like, it's happened. Emma Klein has the book, it's the book of the Hampton Summer called The Guest, a bit of hot sex worker who just grifts her way through the Hampton's because she's hot and dumb. And people are like, we like her. If you're're hot enough you can knock on the door of a mansion Some they might not make you leave they might pull you in a cage down stand, but who cares?

You're hot and dumb you'll be go. This is fun. I'm like a dog tonight. Yeah, I like oh, I like this Yeah, I'm a dog man. I'm a doggy roof roof Hot and dumb all the way if I could do it again, I'd be hot and dumb. I would actively fight the development of my brain. And you can. If you get hot and I would swim every day and sit up, push up, pull up, sit up. But I'd watch on the YouTube's about fitness and you could get dumb. If you only want me to get dumb, it's easy to be stupid in this world.

And do it. Would you have had a sport being dumb? Get your head knocked around or swimming, lifeguarding football. No, no, no, no, no, no, that too much wear and tear, too much potential for problems, swimming, surfing, beach. Sun, like the sun making you stupid. Like, yeah, beach dumb. Yeah.

Yeah. The ideal is beach dumb. Yeah. The ideal is not like, like muscle dumb. Right. The ideal is beach dumb, like toe head blonde hair, beach dumb. Like, people just looking at you going, should I give you my house?

You're so hot and dumb, should I just help you out? Do you want me to pay for your college that you'll fail out of? Like that kind of hot and dumb. I saw your butterfly stroke today, it was good. You still got it. I still have it, but now it looks like I'm trying to save myself from something coming. No hot and

dumb is it Manhattan Beach hot and dumb. It's like maybe a children's bookie need to write. But the children should be able to read it. Hot and smart if you want packet a little bit because I know people that are hot and smart. They are not happy. It's not good It's not good because they're actually People the smart people discount them because they're hot. They never get taken that seriously They know more than they should and people that are good looking as them are stupid and it's hard to stay hot Yeah, because they start going well, what's this all for? Yeah. And then that's the problem.

Because you can think your way into like AA is like turn your brain off. You can think your way into a drink. You can think your way into a cookie. You know, I literally have gone to Carvelle. Literally, where I've literally driven there and gone into a Carvelle, having no intention of eating, but starting my brain, my addict mind starts pumping thoughts into my head

that are like, listen, you should just go and get this little ice cream because if you get this little ice cream You can just pretend it really didn't happen and you could get up tomorrow and everything can change Because people that are constantly like their brains are constantly working They can justify so much bad behavior Because they're like no, no, no, no, no, no, I'll just create an entire world, an entire parallel universe of me tomorrow where I get up into all the right things. So today is for me and tomorrow.

Cheers, stupid, happy bar, they're too dumb to like ice cream bad ice cream bad workout good ice cream bad workout good. I can bad workout good. Flat chest of six pack good fat bad. It's it's it's you know, they don't they don't like the people that have the most success in a age is going to and they're like God wanted this. God wanted to be a crashing to the house. God wanted this. This is all part of the plan. There's a big plan here. There's a big plan here. There's a big plan and it's about me and they designed this. I was supposed to get high.

I was supposed to find my mother's bottle of gin in the closet and drink the whole thing and fall asleep and throw up and spend 10 years of my life because it all brought me to this point. And God bless those people. I'm not I'm not shitting on them, but they they did they had and to believe that a little bit, you have to turn off some critical thinking in the old noggin in the old noggin. You have to turn you have to imagine that God up there is like playing clue with your life and they're like, bodleivedjian in the closet. Let's see who finds it. Let's see who spends 10 years getting drunk

and then let's see who figures out how important I am. 10 years later, after they've driven drunk for 10 years, maybe killing, it's like, but you have to do it. You have to turn your brain off and you have to move to the next thing But you also to be like accepting of what has happened and you can't go back and change I can't go back. I am accepting of it But if I could do it all over again

This was my premise if I could do it all over again I'm hot And I'm the type of dumb where I have a Native American dream catcher above my bed. That type of dumb. The type of dumb where I know a very little bit about a few things. And I love Hawaii. Dumb people. God, do they love Hawaii?

If you are a retard, Hawaii calls to you because they're like, it's a spiritual place. The elders and the ancient rhythms of the world. Man, if you are dumb, Hawaii opens their arms and hugs you. I want to be Hawaii dumb. Like with native America, like not a native America, like an ancient native bullshit, strewn around the house that someone gave me because I was hot. 10, 6 pack.

Yeah, you'd go surfing Hawaii. Surfing Hawaii. And you know, I want to be the type of dumb where like the most formative experience in my life was taking mushrooms. There's a certain type of dumb where the only thing that's ever rocked you or rattled you or given you any insight has been mushrooms because your brain does not work unless it's stimulated in that way. It does that for smart people though too.

Smart people. I'm not saying that smart people can't shut their brain off. Because I hear a lot of people, a lot of people that are like overthinkers and then they do mushrooming. I'm not saying that smart people can have psychedelic experiences of great value. What I'm saying is that dumb people, it's the only window into any, you know, spiritual or deeper thought they've ever had a deeper thought about anything. And usually those psychedelic experiences turn into like a very selfish life, which is fine. There's nothing wrong with that.

That's why all these demons are burning man, taking TMT and then figuring out how to like, you know, charge more money for air and water. It's a real spiritual experience. But like, I want to be that type of dumb where I'm just like that. And so if I could do it all over again, I would just focus on my body. I'm being really hot and not knowing a lot of stuff because I'd be like readings kind of a waste of time. I don't care. It doesn't really matter. No one knows the answer. Nobody finds anything out. I'm just going to be good looking enough to kind of get everyone's sympathy. You know what good looking people get all the time

is sympathy from other people. They're just gonna wipe themselves. They're just gonna wipe themselves. You can present yourself as just a hot person and people are just like, are you lost? Are you okay? Do you need anything? Like judges, like when hot people get dewey's judges,

like you seem like a good man. And I'm, you know how to write. You had a wife and I, yeah. You remind me of my nephew. One, there was one thing, and I don't know if this was a kid who was hot, he was just probably white. Some college guy, like broken another guy's house and like beat him up at a party.

Like broken was out, beat him up. And then the judge was like sentencing the guy going, like you remind me of my nephew. And you're a good man, you can have a great life. Like if a black kid did that, the judge was like sentencing the guy going like, you remind me of my nephew and you're a good man, you can have a great life. Like if a black kid did that, the judge would be like, you're in and you're not getting out. But like, so hot and dumb to me, people ask me all the time and I fight people.

Me and Rogan had argued about this the other night. It's all argument about it. But like we have these fun arguments. But what do he think about it? What do you see things about it? He goes, no, you want to be hot and smart. No, but like we have these fun arguments. But what do he think about is he thinks about it? He says, no, you want to be, you want to be hot and smart. No, no, no, no.

But I love like me and him always come at things from interestingly different point. Joe has has a lot of great points, but I'm like, no, hot and dumb is good. And then I kind of warm down with funny stuff. And he's like, that is, that is, is you do make a couple of good points. Because it is just preferable. Like, you know, you wanna be in the position, like the less you know, kind of the better. I just don't know how many, like,

truly hot dumb people I know. Because they eventually, they like, they do like, luck into things. That's right. Oh, and I'm just, like, do like, they do like, luck into things. That's right. Oh, and I'm sure I'm just, like, do you remember when Roblo, didn't Roblo, like, write a book about like, how it's like hard for him to be so handsome?

I'm sure he did because he's too smart. But Roblo's smart. The problem with Roblo is that he's smart. And smart, like, there's nothing worse than a hot person The problem with Rob Lowe is that he's smart and Smart like there's nothing worse than a hot person who doesn't who wants to be more than hot And they're really trying hard to be like smarter funny and they're not because I was really a dumb hot person It's like a hot person that doesn't like use their hotness to like get ahead in life No, no, that's not it. That's not it. That's not it A smart hot person doesn't use their hotness. A smart hot person doesn't want to be

Is doesn't want to be seen as a hot person. So do you look at like actors as dumb people? I mean, Annie of fucking course. Yeah, you're right. Annie. I mean, of course they are. I'm sorry. I haven't been. I haven't are. I'm sorry. I'm being exhibited. I'm being exhibited. I haven't been hit by the film. I'm being exhibited. You're honored.

Yeah. Smart hot people have the burden of knowing that everything they get is because they're hot. Right. Dumb hot people don't. It is funny. Like, when I see like a hot cop or something, just go like be an actor, like go play a play a cop. But there's no jobs for them anymore.

Yeah. It's 2023. There's nothing for them to do. In fact, actors are an endangered species. They're just, they are like good at like, Phillips, you more hop in like brilliant actors. What do they have to do anymore? It's just hot people.

Acting now is just like, you're either on Riverdale or you like Philicoda? I don't know. I feel like they've uged up Hollywood big time. They've made it very normal. Like I remember when commercials used to be just like smoking hot people. I was like, oh my god, I wanna get Cheerios.

Those people are so hot. They get to eat Cheerios. And now I'm like, oh my god, I want to get Cheerios. Those people are so hot. They get to eat Cheerios. Yeah. And now I'm like, oh, like my neighbor from middle school is eating Cheerios on TV. Yeah, I mean, I think we're losing our hoties. Well, we absolutely. Harvey was our guy. He was bringing our hoties in.

Well, we're putting in Fatty Boom Baddies because we're want to be body paws. And we are putting in a lot of diversity, not that I have a beef with it, but yeah, it doesn't make sense like The type of diversity in the little mermaid like the little mermaid has five sisters and they're all different races And that what happened? Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. They're just it's literally checking a box as we're right It's like the it's the United Nations her family So yeah hot isn't the thing anymore. But it is in real life.

But it actually is. It is in real life. But I will say there are certain people, like when you see them in person, you're like, I'm not supposed to talk to, like they're too hot, like there is like a, and those people should be celebrities. Those should be people that are like,

hot people. They should give them millions of dollars because it's like, you are not allowed to be in society. Here's what hot people need to do. Here's what hot people need to do. Actings out. Actings out because there's not enough money. It doesn't matter. Hot people need to be hot around rich people. Yeah. That's all they need to do.

And then the rich people just give them, they just, they rush and out their money to the hot guy. They'll figure it out. They'll figure it out. Now, I have a question. The bartenders last night were all pretty smoking hot. Was that on purpose? No, I did not know who was coming.

Like, it looked like a scars guard was like serving alcohol. One of them was a Russian or something and they have a very cut angular jaws and kind of those icy blue husky eyes. I was like, what is, was this a headshot situation? You know what it is, it's like, they, that's by the way, okay, the rings also kind of a job for lookers to a degree.

Like if you're a waiter at a high end event, you don't want to look like a slob. Yes, but it is like, I do feel like it's starting to feel really bad for a lot of people. C're a waiter at a high end event, you don't want to look like a slob. Yes, but it is like I do feel like nobody wants to be handing out crab puffs at the white party. I feel like terrible for hot people right now. It's going down for them. Well, it is. Some of it is. I mean, I'll tell you why them. I'll tell you why hot people right now are in trouble. And I can help them. I can help them. If they would put their big penises in my, no, listen, here's a deal. The problem right now,

we're living in a world where the ugly are controlling the means of production. And here's what I mean by that. The ugly gross nerds are running all these tech companies. They're now starting to run Hollywood. Yes. Now, they're miniatures from Greek mythology, some of these people. I mean, they're grotesque.

Yeah. And they are deciding that they're pushing the hot people out. And that's a problem. But don't they want to be with other, like, don't they want to be surrounded by hot people? Like Harvey wants to be hot. No, they want to be hot. And don't they want to be surrounded by hot people like Harvey Why don't they want to be hot and he always just wanted to fuck hot people like It's like I like going to the beach. I don't need to live at the beach

It's nice for the beach to have sex with a really attractive person is nice But you don't around them all the time well you can't be them. Yeah, I don't have the discipline to be hot I've dedicated myself to being funny. I'm not gonna be hot. 38. What do people think happens? It's 40. You could lose a little weight to stay alive.

You think that hot at 40. So, Gur is not hot. He's thin. He's better off than he was. You don't get hot past a certain age. Let's cut it out folks. I'm not here to lie to half of you. People listen to podcasts, people lie to you all day.

And they make a lot more money than me because they lie to you people. Listen with the right. I saw the curtains that walked into my house yesterday. That was wild. I mean the people that walked into my home, they look like they all got out of an ambulance because you're 38

Now if you want to be around hot people you better bring something to the fucking table like a personality or a couple of shackles A little bit of money, but you're not gonna be 38 you're not gonna be hot Stop it Stop it behave You can survive you You could lose, if I lost 80 pounds, I wouldn't be hot. I'd be a guy that lost 80 pounds. You go, good for you.

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That's expr. ESS VPN.com slash Tim DeL VPN.com slash Tim Dylan to learn more. Let's go into Jonil. What's the problem with him? His what's happening with Jonah Hill? Yeah. So his ex girlfriend posted like screenshots of him being her words, emotionally abusive folks. I'm going to tell you right now. abusive. Folks, I'm going to tell you right now. Jonah Hill is a man like myself that for a very long time has dealt with his emotions with like a brownie, okay? The pint of ice cream, the Pine of Ice Cream, a big sandwich, a bowl of pasta. It's not good, it's not advisable.

But he then, he never learned how to be a human being. He learned how to be a human eating. Well, he's also like, he was literally the fat. That's funny, a tour of wild turkey just laughed. Thank you. When he was in like, what grandma's boy, and then and Give it to Annie. I want Annie to read the message. Oh my god. You're gonna try to make me read Annie. Please. I can't read Do you really not are you really not able to read it's challenging? I

Called my dad recently. I was like I think I'm dyslexic and he was like at this point Annie Everyone has to say it's 38 it is at this point Anyone that calls me now, and they're like want to improve themselves a 38. I'm like buddy disagree I think it's time it's the time to get better. Yeah, I think it's a time to pick the party. I think it's like I Think I Not saying you can't lose weight or get smarter or make more money. I'm saying none of that matters And I'm not saying it's ever matter, but I see what you're saying. I'm not saying it. Yeah, here's what I'm saying What I'm saying is you can do anything you want to do

Uh and and and it's good for you good for you But if you're a retard at 38 you're not going to be a genius at 40 You're not you might you're going to be smarter than you were 38. You'll be better looking than you were 38. You're going to become hot. Okay, so this is what Jonah Hill said to his girlfriend. Plain and simple, if you need surfing with men, boundaryless, inappropriate friendships with men, toless, inappropriate friendships with men, to model, to post pictures of yourself in a bathing suit, to post sexual pictures,

friendships with women who are in unstable places, and from your wild recent past, beyond getting a lunch or coffee or something respectful. I am not the right partner for you. If these things bring you to a place of happiness, I support it and there will be no hard feelings. These are my boundaries for romantic partnership. My boundaries will wait, my boundaries with you, with you based on ways these actions have hurt our trust. That's what he wrote to her.

Well, what's his point? He, okay, so here's, this is what I'm gathering from this, is that she was a surfer. So he, and he keeps saying things about surf community. There's more, okay. This is the perfect example of someone who thinks he's like a hot surfer now. Yes. This is my perfect example. This guy, okay, thinks he's a hot surfer. and he's trying to be like a hot smart manipular

server. Yeah, this is the worst of all world. He doesn't realize that losing the weight didn't change his. You can't start treating people like shit unless you've been hot for a long time and he's not even hot. No, he's not hot. She's already doing him a favor and so she was like, he looks terrifying. It's very weird. He's terrified. His head with the, with he has this blonde looks like he's been marooned on an island. The eyebrows are gone. He

lesses eyebrows to the blonde son. Anyway, so, okay, so his and it's going to be a surfing later in life. It's a problem. It's a problem. It's a problem. It's a problem. Does it for fun and that's okay. No, no one more friends with her talking shit on just No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, look at these look homeless. Jonah Hill looks like a homeless person. I'm crazy. Good for him. But okay, so he, um, she was already a surfer. I'm about to fall off my dad. She was already a surfer, and then he, like so,

and I guess she competes and stuff and she would post pictures of herself, but now he doesn't want her in swimsuits, like, are posting these things or surfing with guys, which is like, I mean, it's a little weird if she was already surfing, if these were people she's surfed with, but I also kind of think when you're a celebrity,

you're like under, you're like under the, you're like a little more embarrassed, you're a little more, and he is like, you can do this if you want, but not with me. I mean, it sucks, but I would never tell someone they can't post pictures of those. It's me or the board.

He just kept saying in other words, this is the punishable part. It's not anything he said, he just kept saying within the surf community, and that's the embarrassing part, but I can't find that part, but anything he said, he just kept saying within the surf community and that's the embarrassing part, but I can't find that part. But it was like, he just kept going like, for you to be doing this,

like, first of all, he used the word the surf community. I know, it's he's the worst. He used that coupling of words. Like, you're in the surf community with me now because I've been a beach ball my whole life. But for the last two years, I'm now surfing and now I'm the God of the surf. He thinks he's Poseidon. I'm the God of the service. He thinks he's Poseidon. Okay. I'm the God of the sea. Because for a year

I've stopped myself from shoving food into my fat face. Okay, I have more. I have more. You're right. We can't. I want him to get eaten by a shark. He, listen, God, if you got a, how great. By the way way if tomorrow morning I woke up and had Jonah Hill eaten by shark and Malibu Kanye West favorite you right now my lot I would be I would give my money It would be like just you know would screw his woke up and he gave a turkey to the poor If Jonah Hills eaten by a shark and Malibu I will get up tomorrow and walk around the hamptons giving money to people who already have it, but it would still, it would still

be a nice idea. Okay. So here we go. He says the Samarro goes, you're right. We can't do surf social things or develop trust until you consider me and make decisions that give regard to our relationship. I have been vulnerable as vulnerable as possible. And I am telling you, I am needing you to step up to the plate, which you can. I'm sure of it. But these losers don't get your time if you want me straight up. It's consideration. And it goes, I respect your love of surfing, but I respect myself as well. And your love of surfing is she doing? She got to push you out on the board? She's just surfing, honestly.

She's not just wearing swimsuit. So he's not, he's just, but this is the thing. I, Janice, if she worked in an office and was walking in and like a swimsuit, I would be like, hey man, what are you doing? But doesn't she have to wear like a wetsuit to surf for a swim? It is just, it's like, it's a little part of the job.

But also it's like, if she were to model, like, she can't have like a job she wants, it's like, but he's deeply insecure. He's so insecure. Because he spent his life being a fatty, boom, baffy. And she was already, and she was already a surfer like,

if she like developed this, I don't want to ban this surfing. I don't like it. The sharks are now going nuts because of the surfing. I'm telling you, they're all there. And they've had it with the surfers too. And I've had it a little bit. I had it with that bitch who lost an arm and still surfs.

I've had, because you know what it is, I go in the water, me and a couple of other portly pale, moneyed pigs in the Hamptons. We float and we don't go far. And we don't bother the sharks. We just kind of float around and you know kind of enjoy and just float and just kind of you know it's like we're back in the womb and then the surfering fox they go out way too far they start bothering the sharks

and then the sharks come in bite everybody. Some sad news tonight actor Jonah Hill was apparently killed in a parent shark attack off the Malibu coast. Moments later his ex girlfriend posted a sexy picture on a surfboard. Yeah, moments later his ex girlfriend started an only fast. I mean, it is interesting because I have people that are like, I can't remember what I was talking to, but they're like, can you believe like her boyfriend wouldn't let her start an only friends and like well it's not like letting or anything but i can understand if you don't want your own killed today in a shark attack the bbc's like

johny hill was killed today in a shark attack of the coast of california his girlfriend released a post-tumas sex tape of both of them on the only fountains no it'd be like it like her and our guy friend. He died. We think it was a suicide. He walked into the shark's mouth. Yeah, but it is like, I don't know. You know what, the only reason that it's making me like

side with him a tiny bit is just because he's just like, he should just break up with her if he doesn't. Listen, here's the, I don't know what she's doing if she's hoeing out there on the board. She can't be hoeing. Is she blowing dudes on the board? I don't know, here's the deal. I don't know what she's doing. If she's hoeing out there on the board, she can't be hoeing. Is she blowing dudes on the board? I don't know, I don't surf. Do people fuck on surfboards, you ever surf?

It's a very sexual community because everyone is hot and dumb. And Jonah Hill thinks he's hot. And he knows he's not hot. He knows. Here's the thing. He also, he's an overthinker, right? So he's like thinking like an ugly person. He's not thinking like a hot person.

That's correct. So he's thinking like an ugly person. He's not thinking like a hot person. That's correct. So he's thinking like an ugly person. He's like spinning all these tails, but it's just like, like if you caught her, if you got her when she was still like in her like, but she, the only reason she's like trying to say I see a photo where her.

It's not like amazing. Let me get a photo where her, so I can really just sleep down the wall. It's not amazing. I need to know what I'm talking about. I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't know what I'm talking about. She's pretty, but...

I don't go in for this, oh, natural look with the women. It's a new thing. I don't go in for this. I like a real gussied up Russian horse. I like a done up Russian horse. I do not like this. They wouldn't hire it. They kind of look like man a little, don't they?

Doesn't she look a little bit like... Well that's always on Rogan with the coffee? What's his name? The guy's always on Rogan. He's a surfer. He looks a little bit like Larry Hamilton. You know, here's the deal. I'm not into this own natural look with the with the bill. But I get it. You know what I'm thinking? I bet you she's a great surfer and he was like, if you want the origin family, you can't use the 25 cards.

Step up and cut blank. These people don't get your time or cut. Yeah. By these people, he meant any friend of mine that he hadn't personally approved of. I'm not for her releasing these texts. I don't think it's appropriate. I don't think he did anything that's so bad here.

I think what it is is like, he is like, his founders are inappropriate because it's obviously her lifestyle. He's asking her to change her lifestyle, but that's also okay. If I wanna actually marry you and stuff, I can't marry someone that's still partying and shit or whatever, I don't know.

You know, here's the way I feel about this. He's in the news entirely way too much. A lot. It's, it's, it's, it's, I'm a why. Why? Why is it a news story? Well, you people was incredible, so that's why. Was it?

Was it? Was it? Was it? Ha ha ha. I don't. I was happy to see Sam Jay in a movie. I'll tell you that. I did not see that movie. I'm just saying I've I've. You know, at the end of the day, I wish him the best. I wish her well. I wish him well. I don't know what's going on. This seems like this seems bad. I remember. Okay so the the thing this kind of reminds me of is with Chris Hardwick. When he got like his little hit piece written by his ex girlfriend, and his ex girlfriend was saying things about him that were so to me, sounded so not bad at all. Like it was things like, you know, when we were out in public eating at a restaurant, he'd always tell me to be quiet because people were listening. It's like, that's not silencing. That's like he's a famous person.

No, yeah, it's also like, it's like there's an etiquette. Some of these bitches are looking for a fucking moment in a spotlight. Right. Because they, somebody was slightly mean to them. But it wasn't even me,

and it seemed like he would just, it just, sometimes it's people just like trying to reason with the people, but I don't know. I don't think you should have, it's like, I mean, you can post whatever you want. Obviously, if you send someone something, you know that there's like a chance they're going to screen grab it and post it. So this is just like, you can post it.

A world we're in, but it's just sort of like, I don't know. She's 25. I'm sure when she's 30, she's probably, oh, that wasn't that bad. Yeah, she'll probably be like, you know, he was, he cared. I think she met a famous guy and she wanted to keep a famous guy, but she was still having fun. And she's trying to do both. She was trying to like keep her regular life in her.

Maybe I should get the mafia guy on Rogan. He deserves it. I'm thinking about it. It's not the worst idea. What if it was me, him and Jonah Hill? I think that's her great. And there's a shark and he eats one of you. Why isn't Jonah Hill been on Rogan? He lost weight.

Rogan respects that. Oh my God. That's so funny. That's why he gets on. Yeah. I mean, of course that's why he gets on. But that seems to make sense. That is.

Well, if he was doing Jiu Jitsu, maybe I don't know. I just don't I just don't tell people. Do you think Joe serves? No, he doesn't. He doesn't like water really. I would love to. He's not a water sports person. I don't think he goes like, of course, he can swim dummy.

Oh, my, that's crazy. You think that would be hilarious if he was like, I can't swim. No, of course he can swim. I just have never heard him bring up. I'm sure he goes in the water with the kids or whatever. But he must have tried surfing at some point, living in, how you lived in California for so long. Maybe, maybe.

But it's not as like brew to the sport. Yes, not like his main thing. He's too smart. Yeah, God. Surfing's not for bright people. Cause it, you get like a sunburn on your brain. Surfing is really not for, there's like sports for people that have a little bit of the intelligence. I don't believe surfing is one of them. But you're right about like starting

surfing later in life. It's like no, it's fine as a goof. It's fun, but not to be that guy. The surf community. Not to be like that guy. I think it is something people get a surf community. People get obsessed with it though. They find their sense disgusting when people start getting in. Did you watch the thing like Stutz with his therapist, the documentary? It was like, Joan Ahon is there like interviewing his therapist. I saw a little bit of it. And he was like, Joan, tell me what you're grateful for.

And he was like surfing the ocean. It's like, you just started doing this. I have a big problem with narcissism that doesn't entertain me. Yes. I have a, and I've always, that's why I, I, Donnie, Donnie T, his narcissism is very entertaining. Yeah. If narcissism is an entertaining, it's grading,

and it's like kind of foolish. Yeah. And narcissism isn't entertaining, it's grading and it's like kind of foolish. Yeah. And I don't like that. So what I found when he's interviewing his therapist to me, I'm like, why are we watching? Yes. Like to me, it's like when these comics do these things where they're like, I'm being very deep, but I'm having all these breakthroughs, it just seems like you're holding the audience hostage. And it feels like you don't have respect for their time. You mean like on when they do stand up like that? Yeah, when people, I know there's been a lot of that, but I think it's like the pandemic

and people really are going through shit. So it's like, I'm not saying people aren't going through shit. I'm saying like, make it funny. It's not every comic could does. There's some of them do it well. But a lot of comedians out there, it's, you know, nothing's, you know, they're just like, stopping. This is my therapy. Yeah. It's not your therapy session. And they will actually say that. They will actually say, this is how I process.

Yes. But it's okay. If it's funny, just be funny. Everything you could say. It's okay. If it's entertaining. Otherwise, there's a roomful of people going Oh, if so if I don't enjoy this am I a bad person? If I don't so if I don't watch Jonah Hill interviews therapist am I bad? Does it mean I don't care about him with the therapy and his journey away from Doritos? It is very weird and it was weird to just watch like why would it be you? It is very weird. It was weird to just watch. Like, why would it be you about your therapy?

Like the guy at the therapist already has a book. I've read the book. Can you play the trailer of this? Find the trailer of this. The therapist has a book called The Tools, I think. Yeah, you can find this book. This is not a guy that hasn't been popped. By the way, of course he does.

But you know who wrote Hank Azaria was helped him write it or I don't know. So I think it's like, it's like these actors that I just profound break through with him. And then they wanna like share him with people. But it's like Jonah, he already had a book. Well, yeah, I guess he helped them. Yeah.

And I'm grateful that people are helping. I'm grateful he got Jonah to a place where he can tell me how much he loves surfing. If I hear one more time, okay, is this the trailer? Yeah. Great, let's hear this. What's up, Stets? I'm Jonah.

Okay, entertain me. I'm just going to start by acknowledging how odd this endeavor is. A patient making a movie about his therapist. But my life has gotten immeasurably better as a result of working with you. If it worked for me, maybe it will work for other people. Gavrid Trinkel said, don't intrude on the patient's process. They will come up with the answers when they're ready. That's not acceptable.

They just listen. And your friends who are idiots give you advice. And you want your friends just to listen. And you want your therapist to give you advice. You don't have to solve all their problems, but you have to give somebody the feeling that they can change right now. What's the wrong, Pona? How can I make a movie where I'm talking about people being vulnerable and working on

their problems and not be vulnerable myself? You can't move forward without being vulnerable. Vulnerability connects you to the rest of the world. You're giving out the signal to the world. I need you because I can't do this by myself. I was this wildly insecure kid. The work has been accepting and feeling that it's great to be this person. You are still in the struggle and in the fight.

By the way, how great would it be? How great would it be if like the therapist was like, yeah, I told it get that bitch out of the ocean. That was his contribution. But that's what I kept. Yeah, I told his stop wearing, I told him stop letting her wear a bathing suit in public. I kept thinking because the timeline of it, he was making this. So this therapist was like, you need to say your bound. You got a bitch out there. You got a bitch out there with a tits out on a beach, man. You got a fucking, you're the king of your castle, man.

If you want to marry this celebrity, you need to pack up. You got to keep that bitch in line. Jonas, like, my life got a measurly better. He told me I had to keep this bitch in line. She was walking around with her tits out. What the fuck's wrong with her? She had friends and I didn't personally approve of. He like draws cartoons in it.

For him. He just draws like stick figures of him. Like when you gotta be vulnerable, man. It's the key to unlock the secret power that tells you bitch who she can talk to. This all of this stuff helps. So it's like, I'm torn because it, it is like, maybe someone did watch that and they were like,

oh, I heard this piece of therapy from this guy and this long ass documentary. I heard one line or whatever, but it is like, it's like, there's a bug. You think I just read the book. This is like, Jonah hell, like, you didn't see it. So like, Jonah hell at one point, he's like, I can't, how can I put this out there without being more vulnerable?

He's like, I gotta show them. And it's like then they show that the guy's been on a green screen and that Jonah Hill has been just like pacing back and forth, like not knowing, like, how to finish it. And he like pulls off this wig. Like he's been wearing like a wig to make it look like it was like the six months ago when he started.

And he was like, what is going on? I mean, I watched the whole thing. I watched the whole thing. I watched the whole thing. I like the air beach. But I'm just with actors and I might take some heat. Everything an actor says is suspect from the jump. I'm meeting it. No, I'm telling you immediately. Everything an actor says is suspect from the job. I don't trust their job. Markle was an actress. I don't trust their job as an actress. I don't trust anything. I have spent time with actors in LA. I have friends that are actors.

They listen to this show. I view everything they say as a role they are playing. And if the next day they reverse everything, or it's not real, or none of it would shock me because truly Everything they say I regard with complete and utter skepticism They're trying to be liars like in a way, you know like they're trying to learn how to like be say lines Yeah, well to be very good at their job. It's you you kind of can't Know yourself very good at their job. You kind of can't know yourself. That's why they all have these

breakthroughs like later on in life because like they never were themselves. They played like all these different roles, but they never were them. So like, you know, yeah, I feel like a lot of yeah, I'm happy for them, but like, you know, what, you know, they got rewarded early on for not being themselves. And for being able to so like trick everyone into thinking that there's something else. Yeah, and it doesn't end when they go on like a talk show or anything.

It's not like then they let it all hang out. No, they're a managed version of themselves everywhere they go. Jennifer Lawrence is like fake tripping over everything. know there they're a managed version of themselves every where they go Jennifer learns is like fake tripping over everything every where they go they are a version of themselves that they've decided to know you could say well everyone's like that

not really i know i wish i was more like that i wish i could do that i had my back yard was full with a bunch of people that Then none of them were like that. I know. They weren't choosing the person to be. They were, I will say that. They were that person is who they were. It's a lot of it.

It's a lot of who they were in 12th grade. Yeah. It's the same type of. My friend brought up a good story when me and him drove around getting high, listening to Ann Colter's audiobook treat trees. Are you serious? And he goes, we had to be the only two people doing that.

He had, I had the audiobook treat and we used to drive around in his camera, he getting high. And like, you would just turn it up and she'd be like, liberals have a preter natural gift towards treason. You could be playing Scrabble and they instantly leap to the anti-American position. And we would just hike high. TimDillacombony.com, we are in Vegas Scrabble and they instantly leap to the anti-American position and we just high Tim Dillacomedy.com we are in Vegas at the win. We are in

North Hampton Beach. We've got a few hundred tickets left there. We've done really well. Let's blow that out The win has some tickets left as well. We're there We're Denver comedy works. One of my favorite clubs working on some stuff And then we are announcing a tour where we're going to be all over the place in the fall. We're really excited about that timdilloncomedy.com where you can get all of your tickets to these live events. You can pre-order the book, a death by boomers, a book about my family. Um, Tim J. Dylan on Twitter, Instagram, hopefully I'll have a blue check. Fucking soon back on YouTube next week.

Annie Letterman. I'm laying. I'm lounging. This was a very relaxing experience. It should be. I have an edification. This was a vacation. Tim, yeah, the world. Thank you. My vacation daddy. I got you a burger. I don't know if I showed you. He bought me a burger. He got me an ice cream with the burger and fries. I Was treated like a like a like a dairy queen. Let me tell you that

Real chubbo out of here and it was great Timmo is fattening me up, but anyway, you can see me. I'm doing a birthday show on July 20th in Vegas at the Wise guys, I'm just doing one show there and then you can find me, I'm gonna be in Montreal, South Carolina, Philly, San Francisco, but you just go to any letterman.com slash shows. And you can see me on Anywood, it's on YouTube, and you can listen to it, it's on every thing. And then also I have trash Tuesday.

Which is my favorite podcast to trash Tuesday podcast it is am I not allowed to have a favorite podcast it's Tim's favorite podcast and I not have a favorite podcast I love when a couple of ladies there's three of us three ladies what do we do tell us what it is chop it up and I love it I love it. I love it. Well, we love you, Tim. I know. I can only speak for myself.

I have asked to do it every week. There's nothing I want to do more than that show. He will be on Annie Wood, though, make him. Anyway, thanks to me, love you. Good night, everybody. Goodbye. Goodbye.