The Tim Dillon Show - 361 - The Vast Majority

Episode Date: September 16, 2023

Tim talks about the Sackler's ostracized from high society, selling his dead mother's art, Biden's speech and a Colorado Congresswoman who belongs at a carnival. American Royalty Tour 🎟 https://ww...w.timdilloncomedy.com/ Pre-Order ‘Death By Boomers’ By Tim Dillon 👉 https://rb.gy/gafn4 SPONSORS: Gametime: Get The Gametime App & Use Code: 'TIM' Shipstation Get a 60-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/timdillon Morgan & Morgan: For more information go to forthepeople.com/tim ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch:  https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan show. Thank you to everybody who came out to the Barry Weiss event that I did comedy in front of the very important Barry Weiss event. It was a debate sponsored by the Masad in which we discussed the proposition should woman should woman should women start getting hit again in the movies should they start getting punched in the face, you know, but in kind of a romantic way, like to calm her down. And the answer was no, but it was close. Uh, 51 to 49 and the great Anna hashian, hashian, hashian, from red scare was there. And she was the funniest one. Uh, but Louise Perry was there as well, who's very smart and then Sarah Hader, who's really smarter than Grimes, who's very entertaining and, and, you know and smart in her own way.
Starting point is 00:01:05 And it was a good, I stayed about 40 minutes and I did, and that was fine. That was more than enough. I mean, Jesus Christ, I heard about that after part of it's on a rooftop and, you know, it's just, you know, you do it, it's fun, you move on. It doesn't need, you know, it doesn't have to be a convention. So thank you, Barry, for including me.
Starting point is 00:01:33 I appreciate it. And, you know, everybody, more and more people are on a Zampic. That's all I can tell you. Everybody I bump into in Hollywood and Los Angeles is on a Zampic and it's a miracle drug apparently, but in rare cases, you can get something called gastro-periasis or parisis where your stomach refuses to empty. It will not empty out. So you're nauseous kind of for the rest of your life when eating
Starting point is 00:02:02 food, but that is very rare cases. But everyone you meet in this town is on ozempic. I'm not going to say who's on it, but I'm saying people you bump into when they go, I you want to ozempic? I'm on I'm happy for everybody that's on it. And who knows, I might do it. I'm a pussy. I'm a pussy. And doctors, they're telling me they don't know if I should do it. And I mean doctors, these people of the scum of the earth, they'll tell you to do anything really. So if doctors are saying just we don't know yet,
Starting point is 00:02:39 doctors, their job's just to sell you shit. If they are telling you to wait, doctor, the lowest of the low, doctors, people they have to literally make them do the Hippocratic, oh, first do no harm. They have to make them say that because they know how sick they are in the head. Doctors, if they're even saying wait, maybe, or let's see what happens. And
Starting point is 00:03:09 some of them aren't. Some of them are going, go for it. We don't know. But a lot of them are afraid now because of that thing on Netflix called pain killer where everybody is mad at the saculars. And I'll tell you this, I found out my mother's wake. She was a pharmaceutical rep. She was one of those hot chicks. She used to be hot and she was like selling speed and stuff and I was so proud of her. What did, by the way, let me mount a much-needed
Starting point is 00:03:44 defense of the sacler family right now. Let me because I haven't heard any. There's none. There's not one person defending the Sackler. And I thought about it the other day. I said, everybody has betrayed these people. They've deserted them in their hour of need. There's not one person willing to say,
Starting point is 00:04:04 maybe this is a two-sided issue. Maybe there's more to this. Maybe somebody had a bad back. Here's the deal. Does it or not, does it work or not? That's number one. Does it work or not? Are you still in pain or not from the boating accident?
Starting point is 00:04:22 Do you feel better after the boating accident or not? Or do you want a leave? They created a product that works and the problem is it worked too well. And they knew it worked really, really, really, really well. That's the whole point of that show. They knew how well it worked and they kind of were like, Hey,
Starting point is 00:04:46 we're just going to let you know, it's good, but we don't want to tell you it's that good. We don't want to tell you it's great. And I'm aware that hindsight is 2020. The Monday morning quarterbacking is big. Everybody likes to beat up on the family that got us all addicted to opioids. Okay. I understand that instinctually, maybe I might even agree with it if I were of a lesser mind as many of you are. I wish I was that in that condition in that state because it must be easier to kind of go through life questioning nothing And always walking around. By the way, they have a great wing at the museum and natural history. It's beautiful. That's got, get up to sacchair wing at the museum of natural history.
Starting point is 00:05:38 Because that's good. It's, it's not only if you've made money. It's what have you done with your money. And now all these boards are going, let's, let's take, give back their money. What about all the money that they, they took from like these fucking military industrial complex groups that have literally killed people all over the world.
Starting point is 00:06:03 But that money is good, but the money from the Sackler family is not good. Don't you think it's odd, by the way, that we only have a problem with one family in the pharmaceutical world? Isn't that strange that it's one evil family and no one else? Nobody else has done anything wrong. There's no other drug that we should look at.
Starting point is 00:06:23 It's just just oxy cotton. There's no other meds out there that we may not need with the most medicated country in the world. But there's nothing else that's a problem. The only thing that's a problem is literally the most obvious thing. The most obvious thing that turns people into zombies running around. We'll criticize that. But isn't it interesting that we've directed all does anyone find that interesting that we've directed all of our attention to one family and the ruling class has decided to evict them from the boards of museums and charities and they've decided to give back their donations and say, your money's no good here.
Starting point is 00:06:59 Take your money away. We only take money from the military and people that do only good. We only take money from people that do only good things like Boeing. Don't you think it's odd that there's just one family that everybody's focused on this one evil family of evil people that were born evil. They're born evil. It's odd to me. It seems like we've scapegoated them. I'm not telling people to do oxy cotton. I like to perk a set stick with perk a set That's the message of the show the message of the show Vikin and might not be enough for you. I understand that vikin and slight. It's a mom thing
Starting point is 00:07:44 I used to do open houses with a. It's a mom thing. I used to do open houses with a fat realtor named Nula. And she used to give me Vikin in and we used to walk ourselves because no one would come to the open houses. We used to do them on this small island, a harbor aisle where I grew up. It doesn't matter. You can Google it. And we used to walk around the island, you know, and all viked up and it feels nice because your joints kind of glide. But the point is if you want to get, you know, and all viked up and it feels nice because your joints kind of glide. But the point is, if you want to get, you know, I get, that doesn't seem fun, maybe, to people listening, but then you do percussette
Starting point is 00:08:11 because percussette's nice. But that's habit forming as well. But oxy-cont, I remember I took it a few times, I ended up on a couch, me and my buddy just kind of going, ugh, staring at each other, we got like dope sick, it's not fun. It's not fun. It's not fun, but pretending that it is the only drug that is a problem in this country.
Starting point is 00:08:30 It is the only thing that we should monitor at all. It is the only pharmaceutical problem we have is the evil, shackler family with oxycontin. That's it. That's the only issue. There's not, nobody else is pushing anything on you. You shouldn't take Nobody, you know, because all those 18 year old kids collapsing on soccer fields having heart attacks because of oxy content, right?
Starting point is 00:08:59 So bad. I love when oh by the way It's gonna sound crazy, but go with me here. When all of the rich people decide to evict one rich family, take the side of the family they've evicted. Take the side of the family they've listened to me, not emotionally, take your emotions out for a minute. What I'm saying is when all of these people decide that one group of people that
Starting point is 00:09:33 they all knew what they were doing. There was nobody that didn't know how the cyclers made their money. There was no one that didn't know. So what do you guys in? machine parts? What do you guys do? Are you in Port X part? What do you do? Do you run art galleries? What do you do?
Starting point is 00:09:52 They knew it. Everyone knew how they made their money. There's not one group of, they're all at the dinner party and they're the sacklers there and everybody's going like, how they, how they have was my, how everyone knew? Everyone knew some of the people took the drug, some of the people, drumroll please,
Starting point is 00:10:12 we're in on it. They were, they were invested, they thought it was great. They just didn't come up with the thing. So this one family who created this drug that has become, I might not like for people, I don't advocate drug use. I am sober for 12 years. The only reason I'm able to do anything is human being on this planet is because I am sober.
Starting point is 00:10:41 If you even think you have a drug or alcohol problem, you do. And you should get help. That's true. But I'll tell you something else. And but for the people that aren't or maybe a little on the fence, stick with perks. I think that's a happy meeting. I'm not going to tell you to do nothing. Life's hard. Stick with perks or a little viky because the oxies are too much. And it's like abstinence only education. It's not realistic. The kids are gonna fuck anyway and have kids. So you gotta teach them a little bit about the condom,
Starting point is 00:11:13 but you can't teach them it in the fifth grade. There's gotta be a little, you know, when you're in high school, you go, here's the thing, this is what you use. If you're gonna do it, don't do it. But if you're gonna do it, where are the condom? If you're gonna do it, don't do it. But if you're gonna do it, where are the condom? If you're gonna do it, don't do it. But if you, and that's the way out,
Starting point is 00:11:31 this is what I'm telling you, don't do it. But if you're gonna do it, take a vikin' in. Take a percussette and take a nice drive around, Connecticut and take a nice walk. Go in taking with two viking. You don't need oxy cotton. That's the pre, you take a couple of viking and you go and teaking on a Sunday and Connecticut and you have a warm lobster roll.
Starting point is 00:11:54 It's fine. That's fine. You got to learn to live with that level of intoxicate. You have to learn, you know, my friend's mother, who is a prostitute, but was brilliant in her own way. Said once, I handle my drugs. I handle my drugs. I've learned to handle my drugs. I'm good at drugs.
Starting point is 00:12:16 She said that she goes, I've learned to handle my drugs. Handle you to, she said that's when we were 13. Handle your drugs. She said in her kitchen to us. My friend, my lesbian friend. Handle your drugs. She said, you have to handle your drugs. She said in her kitchen to us, my friend, my lesbian friend, handle your drugs. She said, you have to handle your drugs. You have to, you, you can't drink to the point where you vomit. You can't people have used substances for enjoyment forever.
Starting point is 00:12:37 And it's not a popular thing to say, as much as sober guy, I lack the power of using recreational drugs. Many people do not. I know people that drink often and smoke marijuana a lot. I know people that go and I, a wasca retreats and have horrible ideas for scripts afterwards. I know people that take DMT. I know people that do everything that roll on Molly. They go to raves. They're 48 and they're at raves.
Starting point is 00:13:02 Whatever. It doesn't matter. But they can do it. I can not. I have lost the power over that. I'm incapable of it. My advice is to the people that are capable of it. Be good at your drugs.
Starting point is 00:13:14 Be good at your drugs. It's not an abstinence message. It doesn't work. Telling everyone to not do drugs is not really maybe realistic or even ideal. How much funner are certain people drunk? How much better are certain people if they have the edge taken off, right? There's nothing wrong with that. I'm just saying stick with percussat, which is more than enough. And for many of you, Vikinans enough, oxy-contin's way too much.
Starting point is 00:13:49 It's way too much. You got to stay away from it. And yes, it's a slippery slope, they'll say. Yes, it is a slippery slope. Yes, if many of you who start with Vikinan or percussat will end up doing oxy-contin. But I guess many people who search sucking cock will eventually fuck a dog.
Starting point is 00:14:06 It's not my problem. I'm saying be good at your drugs as my friends prostitute mother said who used to sell us weed. Where was I before that? I was on something important when all of these rich families that know exactly what's going on. Kick out one family and decide to blacklist them. They decide to shame them and say, they are uniquely evil. They are uniquely evil and bad. And they have corrupted
Starting point is 00:14:34 the system single handedly. We don't know how they did it. We just went to every fundraiser with them vacation with them sat next to them hung out with them, maybe fuck them, did drugs with them, donated money to every political campaign with them, maybe fuck them, did drugs with them, donated money to every political campaign with them, saw them out, and every fundraiser for the last 30 or 40 years, but their lives have been a mystery to us. We don't know what they're doing over there. We have no idea what they're doing, but it's bad.
Starting point is 00:14:58 It's bad and it's uniquely evil. They are different. They have polluted a great system, the pharmaceutical system, the system of research and development and innovation, the system that makes people in America better and healthy, isn't it a country of healthy people? They're always getting better.
Starting point is 00:15:16 That's what they've done. They've made everyone better. And then this evil family of warlocks called the Sackler family invented the plague. And no one knew it was a plague, even though we prescribed it for 30, 40 years. And it's that evil family that was, we don't know what they were doing.
Starting point is 00:15:36 We knew that they had a drug called oxy cotton and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, the studies weren't, and we were not shown, whenever the rich decide to evict and I mean the real, not people like me stop calling me rich. It's not true. It's not true. The real rich, the people that are insanely wealthy and they're they're a cabals of powerful people, their factions, power factions in control. And they every now and then they evict somebody, they decide to evict somebody. like a balls of powerful people, their factions, power factions, a control.
Starting point is 00:16:05 And every now and then they evict somebody, they decide to evict somebody. This happens all the time. They go, you're out because the way these things work is all, all of the way, all of the businesses in America at the high end are cartels kind of. They're like cartels. And then eventually what happens is the public gets angry, they become enraged because there's some crime that's uncovered. And then everybody's got to decide at the midnight meeting how quickly and how cleanly they can disown whoever either
Starting point is 00:16:39 committed said crime or whoever they can pin the crime on and convince them that they are a complete, uh, this is a outlier. This is not the way we are doing good business. We're doing the right thing, the vast majority, those two words, whenever somebody's using those words, it tends to be a lie. If they have something to gain from it, they go, the vast majority of what they really mean is that we are all still, we all still have each other's backs, but we're throwing them out.
Starting point is 00:17:11 We're kicking them out. They're out. This is not to say that oxy cotton is good and you should put it on your frozen yogurt. This is to say that it's always interesting when the most, which by the way, RFK, they attack him because he's going after the industry that makes more money in this country really than any other. The pharmaceutical industry is allowed to advertise in America and New Zealand and that is it.
Starting point is 00:17:38 Growing up, I saw so many ads for all of these drugs that cured everything from hair loss to erectile dysfunction, to anxiety, to insomnia. Every single thing that you can imagine, there was a blue or pink or purple pill for allergies, all the allergies we get from the crap food we eat, you know, the clariton ads, people running through the meadows. Look at me, I can breathe again. Everything the pharmaceutical companies do is now off limits. You cannot criticize them at all. They are an incredibly powerful lobby. And since they, with the vaccine, they're able to fuse with public health and criticizing anything they do. You became a conspiracy nut job in a whack and a crank.
Starting point is 00:18:26 But that's why RFK is making waves and pissing people off. And that's why the media is ignoring him because those news networks that are not letting him come on and criticize the pharmaceutical company, the ads for those news networks are all pharmaceutical ads. Because the median age of a viewer of cable news is like 115 years old. Their skin is thin, it's like Biden, it's spread very thin, like a thin layer of butter on toast.
Starting point is 00:18:57 The skin is spread very thin and the bones protrude out of it. And if you touch it even so slightly, it becomes blue. Those are the people that watch the cable news shows and those are the people that need the pharmaceutical ads. I did enjoy painkiller. Oh, so adoba is brilliant. And I don't think the sacchairs, um, you know, are upstanding, fine people, but none of them are. That's the point. None of them are. So when everybody gets together and goes, here's the bad guy. Look this way. Here's it. But I was proud of my mom that she was one of those hot chicks selling speed because she was really hot back in the day. And she was one of the hot chick selling speed. And I was proud of her for that because I thought that was a cool job. So speaking of my mother,
Starting point is 00:19:43 I want to show you these beautiful, beautiful speaking of my mother, I wanna show you these beautiful, beautiful things that my ancestors sent to me. I had no idea they existed, make them big, make everyone be able to see them. These are paintings, get them up, get both of them up. These are paintings that my mother did before she died. These are paintings. I believe they are maybe watercolour on canvas,
Starting point is 00:20:12 acrylic on, I can't as I don't know. They are, they mean a lot to me. They're her last works. And they are incredibly emotional and mean a lot to me. We are incredibly emotional. I mean a lot to me. We are selling them. And we're selling them because she would want them sold. And is it unreasonable to start debating a $25,000 for a dead artist with two works for Patricia Dillon original. What about fought?
Starting point is 00:20:52 Here's what I'll say. Tell me on social media, the amount of money you are willing to pay for these paintings. I don't really want them. They don't fit the color scheme in my homes. No, they don't fit the color scheme in my homes. I said, you want them. I said, no, I'm working with designers. We can't fit it in. I've spoken to these people.
Starting point is 00:21:18 There's very tough because there's a whole scheme. There's things that highlight other things and things, colors that bounce off. You people I couldn't even explain it to you. But it's just not going to work and get the other one up with the palm trees. I think it's a little stronger. So again, if you want these Patricia Dylan originals, we can make, but it's going to cost money. I don't think it should be free.
Starting point is 00:21:40 This is a recently deceased artist who has two works. Could we do a gallery show with two works? You could, right? Like an exhibition, yeah. Yes, yes, well, that might happen. I mean, I have an art dealer I should call. No, I don't think she'll answer, but I genuinely have an art dealer who, because I like art. I like art. And... Hi, Tim. Hi, Sophia. How are you? Good, how are you?
Starting point is 00:22:22 Good. Let me ask you a question. This is crazy. My mother was kind of like an artist. She painted two things. She's recently deceased. I'm sorry. Oh, I appreciate it. She fought a long hard battle. But she's got these two like beautiful things. I just want to show them to you.
Starting point is 00:22:37 I don't know. I want to show them to you because I don't know what you could do with them, but like, you know, she was schizophrenic. And I know, I mean, not to be crass about it, but I know some of the art world likes stuff like that. Yeah, no, definitely. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:22:51 Because... People have like mental health problems like artists do, will also in general like... Yes. Well, and that's the thing, because I think it unlocks something that's a little brilliant, and there might be someone, you know,
Starting point is 00:23:03 that, I mean, not even to monetize, I'm not concerned about the money, but somebody might look at this and go, there's some real value in it because of the schizophrenia. Yes. I need to see it. Yes. All right. Thank you so much. I appreciate it.
Starting point is 00:23:18 Yeah. Of course. All right. Thank you. Are we not living in a folks? Are we not living in a great world? Folks? Are we not living in a folks? Are we not living in a great world? Folks? Are we not living in a great world?
Starting point is 00:23:27 I mean, the art world, is it not fun? Savage, she's a savage. She's a nut. I'm gonna send these shit paintings to this person, this demon, and we're gonna sell him to some rich fuck but not the sackless not the sat not them not them I'm gonna sell my dead schizophrenic mother's paintings because the system's good but not the sackless my artiller likes that she goes let's pimp out those synapses firing,
Starting point is 00:24:05 but not quite kneading up. But not the cyclophans, not good, the cyclers. But these are on the block. They're going to the block. Fuck you, you know what? You're not messaging that on social media. We're gonna do a show. This bitch, she's legit legit this bitch.
Starting point is 00:24:21 She's legit legit. You know it. We're doing a show for my dead mother's art. We're doing a show for my dead mother's art. If you're not in it, you're not in it. But people liked it. It's a skits of fret you, you, you fucking normy minds can't comprehend. Because what my mother's painting there, she's not really painting a sailboat and palm trees, what she's, and you know what we need to do. We need to kind of dress these up a little bit, right? Yeah. These could sell for 100,000 each if I get them. I'll get my aunt to send me them. And
Starting point is 00:24:54 then instead of them just being these shitty things, in the middle of it, we'll put like a bloody stencil of Richard Nixon's face. And I swear to God, I'm not kidding. You put a bloody stencil of Nixon's face and let it bleed and go, she's a Vietnam era schizophrenic. Sheld it out, sheld it out. It's true. It's absolutely true.
Starting point is 00:25:23 It's amazingly true. I'm actually to be honest with you. I'm I'm sad there's only two. Let me call my aunt because frankly, we might be getting more and I I am praying to God. There's more. Give me more. What if we glued the beanie babies on to them? What if we glued the beanie babies on to them? What if we glued the beanie babies on? Hi, Donna, very quick, quick question. Can't really talk long. Are those two paintings of my mother? Are those the only paintings she's done?
Starting point is 00:25:57 Are those her only works? Wait, say that, say that again. Those two paintings that my mother did are those her only works. To mine, I might have one of my own, you know, that I have somewhere that I packed and brought. Oh, get all of her works. I want to do a gallery show. But all right, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, get them all, get them all, get them
Starting point is 00:26:20 all, I'll call you back. Thank you. We're in it, baby. Get them all, get them all. you back. Thank you. Get it, baby. Get them all. Get them all. Get the space. Get these rich retards. They just got out of the US open. Start stenciling Richard Nixon's bloody face or some crap they're like on my mother's kind of boring landscapes
Starting point is 00:26:45 that are kind of uninspiring. Start stenciling something kind of, bankski it up, sex it up. Let's do a gallery show of my Dead Skits or Fennik mother's art. It's my mother, by the way, people that may be offended by this, I think this is cold-hearted.
Starting point is 00:27:01 There is nobody that would want her work to sell. How do you say posthumously? Posthumously, yeah. There's nobody that would want her work to sell. How do you say posthumously? Posthumously, yeah. There's nobody that would want her art to sell posthumously more than my mother. Nobody, my mother would be happy that I'm using the art that we found in her mental institution to enrich myself.
Starting point is 00:27:16 And if you don't have a mother like that, then you gotta get a new mama. You gotta get a new mother. They want, they want, their work appreciated, and it doesn't have to be in their lifetime. That's a great thing about art. And if you think I'm kidding about this, you don't know me.
Starting point is 00:27:30 If you're not watching this show, there will be a gallery show in New York City of this woman's eye. I will, you have to just stencil the faces. Get me maybe a Henry Kissinger. So Nick said, we got to do something. We got, it's Vietnam got it's Vietnam it's retro Her mind was ruined it. She was a hippie and it was fun, but her mind got you know because we got a sell to the rich hippie contingent
Starting point is 00:27:57 They're older now their rich they're wandering around Malibu or so ho These are the people that you know were these free love wild types. And they're really excited about Pete Buttigieg. I like Pete Buttigieg, I like Mayor Pete. But these are the people that were doing, they were having five sums with country Joe and the fish. But now they're excited about, may or pee. It's like life can be long sometimes,
Starting point is 00:28:28 and that's the problem. But do these people, those are the people that we're going for with kind of that 60s and such, give me a little war plane. You put a war plane in the middle of one of these. A stenciled war plane in red that it looks like blood. I'm telling you right now, we're in. That's all art is, it's fake.
Starting point is 00:28:52 It's not real. Dude, sometimes I want to buy tickets to something and I'm like when I was buying the free speech night with very wise and grimes, I was stressed out because I'm like, I want a night of free speech. Where can I go? You know, it's important to get a night of free speech out there.
Starting point is 00:29:09 Get a little free speech. So I went to the feminist free speech, uh, debate, but a lot of my friends were like, call me. They were stressed out. They were like, fuck, where I, how do we get these tickets? I'm like, what about the game time app? They were like, call me. They were stressed out. They were like, fuck, where, how do we get these tickets? I'm like, what about the game time app? They're like, what?
Starting point is 00:29:29 I'm like, the game time app. And they're like, is that how we can see Grimes? I go, yeah. Flash deals, last minute tickets, easy to find and buy tickets for every kind of event. Your area, images of seat views, lowest price, guarantee, even cancellation protection, job loss protection, things like that. Forget planning months in advance, game time has deals on tickets right up to the day of the event, get exclusive flash deals on tickets for football, basketball, baseball, concerts, comedy, theater, and more.
Starting point is 00:30:00 The game time guarantee means you'll get the best price. I'm telling you right now, download the game time app, create an account, use the code TIM. Don't take my word for it. Go do it now. Maybe that is taking my word for it. But figure it out for yourself, but do it now. Use the code TIM for $20 off your first purchase.
Starting point is 00:30:19 Which would be to see me. Terms apply again, creating account, redeem code, T.I.M. for $20 off download game time today. I'm telling you folks, it is a good app. This is one of those good apps legitimately. And it is one of those apps where you need it because you are buying things in the show. I'm sorry, it's late. You're buying things out things in the show. Ah, I'm sorry, it's late.
Starting point is 00:30:45 You're buying things out there in the world. You're going to buy them anyway. Why not buy them efficiently and quickly? It's last minute, last minute, like Princess Diana bear right here. I, I want to go to the game time app. Why do you want to go to the game time app, Princess Day? Well, I'm the soul of Diana, actually. And I was murdered because I was dating a Palestinian and the British royal family couldn't take that chance. So they murdered me with the
Starting point is 00:31:19 massage. Well, that's wacky, isn't it? Yes, but now my soul lives in this bear. And this isn't even a real bear. It's the fake bear that your retarded fans think is real. That's not a nice thing to say. I died before cancel culture. You're not going to cancel me. I've already been canceled in a limousine, but some very bad people. And my only regret is that I couldn't see crimes debate the girl from red scare
Starting point is 00:31:50 about feminism because I didn't have the game time app. Download the game time app, create an account and use the code TIM for 20% off your first purchase. I also am not thrilled that my kind of a son is dating Meghan Markle. As I agree with you, I think she's sort of a low rent fishwife. So much of what people have to deal with, they own a business is to promote growth and change. That's really what it comes down to. They can't worry about a lot of the clerical jobs, the back office, you know, right now we're in the calm before the holiday storm. If you are in any type of the commerce business, and if you know,
Starting point is 00:32:32 let me tell you a story about a friend I had. This is a real story that might help people because I'm talking about a, a thing today called ship station that might, maybe avoid the fate of a friend that I have because ship station can quickly and easily update crucial order information reduce errors. It's effortless integration anywhere you sell online, including Amazon at the eBay Shopify and more. It manages orders, prints labels, compares rates, optimize every should they work with every carrier UPS FedEx apostles or it's my friend. He wanted to do it himself. He said that. He started a business. It was sports memorabilia. And he goes, I want to do it myself. And he got his wife who
Starting point is 00:33:17 it was involved as well. And she was taking a sabbatical because she was pregnant. I don't know what they call that, maternity leave, but she was a teacher. So I think sabbatical is kind of an interesting, she was a maternity leave, okay? And this guy is gentleman, starting any commerce business with her. Well, I don't even want to, I mean, I don't even want to say it.
Starting point is 00:33:54 It got so bad with the shipping of the labels and that they were trying to keep track of the orders. It got so bad that he cut the baby out of her and killed the baby in front of her and then killed her. I don't even to think about it because to me, it's like it's, it's, ship station has enterprise solutions that reduce warehouse costs and improve profitability. Over 130,000 companies have grown. It would be one thing to kill it, but debate and then hurry. You know, go to shipstation.com and use a code Tim Dylan today and sign up for your
Starting point is 00:34:46 free six in a trial that shipstation.com code T I M D I L L L L N. Hi. Hunter Biden sadly was indict this guy is indicted now. He's facing 10 years because of a gun charge. Here's what you got to respect about Hunter Biden. He's still showing up to life. Like, you know, like he's still with the family. He's still out. Remember a few months ago, you saw him. He was out on the balcony and then he kind of left to do something or other inside, but he was out on the balcony with everybody. He's another artist. It's it's episode
Starting point is 00:35:26 about art. If Hunter Biden can sell his art, my mother can't, if this guy can sell his art, my mother cannot, my mother was a law abiding citizen. So Hunter Biden said, Lee's intended on gun charges. And it's and it's not looking great. He purchased a gun in 2018 the first time in US history. The Justice Department has charged the child of a sitting president. The three charges include making false statements on a federal firearms form and possession of a firearm as a prohibited person. Biden's now getting very old.
Starting point is 00:36:04 He's not getting old now. He's been old. He's been old. But now the laser focus on him has made people realize how old he is. He's confused. He's wandering around. He has probably early on set dementia, something like that. And they don't know what they got to get rid of him. They're trying. The powers that be, I don't believe, want him. I think they believe he's too much of a liability now and that someone else could win and maybe open an investigation into any of these things, right?
Starting point is 00:36:40 The russia gate hoax or whatever the hell's going on in Ukraine with the Biden family, like there are people that don't want, there's members of the political establishment that do not want somebody coming in there, especially an outsider flinging up the flinging up and all these files and going, what the hell's been going on here? They don't want that. The only reason to really run Biden at his age is to continue some kind of cover up. I mean, this isn't, I mean, think about it rationally and ignore politics for a minute. The only reason I really run Biden at his age is to continue some kind of cover up. I mean, this isn't, I mean, think about it rationally and ignore politics for a minute. The only reason you have a guy wandering around a stage that can't speak is because you're terrified of whoever comes in next. There's no reason that you would have propped this corpse up unless you weren't scared that the person that came in next would be able to like start digging
Starting point is 00:37:28 up dirt. You know, do you have the thing where Biden, he, yeah, well, they abruptly end his press conference. Yeah. It's really, it's really weird. Yes, a whole insect. This was in a Vietnam earlier this week. What, by the way, so I was talking to a friend of mine about this on Shelter Island and he made a good point. He's like, it's kind of like elder abuse. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:37:54 It's like elder abuse. You know, people in his family keep putting him out in front of the podium and keep making him talk. And there's almost like some weird thing where the friend of mine made a point where it was like maybe hundred pines like appe appeasing his dad like you fucking shut the fuck up and like, because you know, Biden having the power of the presidency is maybe one of the reasons all these dominoes aren't falling, right? And I think Hunter Biden knows that.
Starting point is 00:38:19 I mean, he's probably telling his dad like, you have to support me, you have to back me, you, you know, I mean, so take a look at Biden here. It's crazy. And I actually, by the way, kind of feel bad for Biden because he's so old, he doesn't know what he's doing. He's like a pawn in something. And I mean, he's been, you know, a pretty consistent demon legislatively and every other way is
Starting point is 00:38:46 whole life. I'm not saying he should, we should feel bad from like many of them, you know? I mean, that being said, I truly don't believe he knows where he is. I think we've, we've gotten to a point where it's an A political statement to make. This is not a political statement. Paul, after Paul says majority of like Democrats want another option because the guy's fucking ancient. But I don't think he knows where he is. So then the question is, why is this going on? It's not enough that they just don't have another
Starting point is 00:39:13 person. That's not enough. That's not enough. There's, there's, there's people. They're not great. But the Republicans don't have anyone great either. Right? Except Trump was been a dited a bunch of times, right? He He's he's the only one with the gravitas to kind of, you know, get in the ring and you'd be a formidable candidate to rest of them are bombing. The Sanctus is deflated, you know, Nikki Haley, Vivek Ramaswamy. It's not so the Democrats have governors. They have people.
Starting point is 00:39:41 They have Senator of Congress. People, um, I think it's got to be something else. It's got to be another reason that this guy, they have to run this guy again. It seems weird to me. It seems odd. And I don't know what it is, but take a look at this. It's weird. We talked about at the conference overall, we talked about stability. We talked about making sure that the third world, excuse me, the third world, the Southern hemisphere had access to change, had access.
Starting point is 00:40:18 It wasn't a confrontation at all. Thank you everybody. This means the press conference. Thanks everyone. Thank you everybody this is an account press conference. Thanks everyone. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, so you're saying the third world is not the third world. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Look at that. The jazz music plays his name. How beautiful is this? Look at him. He has no idea where he is. He doesn't know where he is. He doesn't know where
Starting point is 00:40:42 he is. He doesn't know where he is. He doesn't know where he is. He's on the end, I'm just your friend. He doesn't know where he is. The poor guy, they're talking about his son. He's walking off to jazz. Is that the music they played in the room? I mean, Jesus Christ. Play his eggs in one more time. It's one of the greatest things I've ever seen
Starting point is 00:40:57 with the jazz music. I thought that was dubbed it. No, no, no, no. The fact that this is the real music playing as this guy leaves is the craziest thing I've ever seen. Talk about the sun setting on the Empire. I've been watching this. Thank you. Thank you. This way. Are you putting all this way?
Starting point is 00:41:19 I'm not going to put it right here. I'm crazy with every person I met with. He's talking, he's not even in the mic. And then he just walks off to jazz. Just some fun soft jazz. Thank you for watching The Quietest Door. Yeah, I mean, it's, it's terrible that he's in the state. He's in and nobody's rescuing him. He needs to be rescued. This is a seal team six rescue mission.
Starting point is 00:41:59 And the only way to rescue him is to like get him, put him out of his misery. I mean, not kill him, but like get him out of get him out of the fucking oval office. Let the guy be, I mean, we really torture people in this country. You know, we don't ever let it end. We don't ever let it end in this country. How old is that guy? Late 70s, right? That guy's in his late 70s. And you you know someone came to him and they're like the country
Starting point is 00:42:27 is calling, you know, you have to answer. Oh, he's 80. He's 80. And you know, they tell him every day, they're like, history is calling, sir. You know, like, will you? And he's like, old. He's not going to win and they can't run him and I believe that's what they're thinking now but they can't run Amy Klobuchar because she ate a salad with a comb once.
Starting point is 00:42:57 Remember when they didn't have a fork at Amy Klobuchar? She threw a state learner assistance head and then ate a salad with a fork. I'm sorry, with a comb. She had a salad with a comb out. Elizabeth Warren is a joke. She's a literal punchline. Pete Buttigieg is a CIA gay, which is probably not the most attractive right now. He took three months off to raise a child. He did not have. I mean, that seems odd. And I'm, I'm all for gay people being parents if they're good at it. But like taking 90 days off while trained are derailing and they're spilling waste all over fucking Ohio or whatever that it is. Pennsylvania. Um, it's, uh, it's crazy. So it's just an ugly reality now that they don't have anyone.
Starting point is 00:43:46 Sanders is too old. Gavin Newsom is probably their best bet, even though he's hated and he's the governor of a hated state, which he's made quite a mess of. But they cannot run this guy. And then we have Kamala, who's incapable of communicating is a prosecutor or a cop. You know, Democrats love that. A resident of the hated state, California, doesn't she have a white husband? Yeah, right. So I mean, it's across the board. She doesn't check any of the boxes, right?
Starting point is 00:44:16 It's just not cool. Nobody's into it, you know, nobody's into it. And that's unfortunate. You know what I was saying the other day to somebody I sent a lunch with somebody. And I said 35% of all fatal car accidents occurred between six PM and midnight. They said, no way. I said, people aged 25 to 34 of the highest amount of drivers involved in car crashes. They people age 15 to 24 had the highest rate of emergency room visits to car accidents of all age groups. They were like, what? I said Morgan and Morgan is, I was giving for you. Like we were having lunch. I was kind of just going and they were like, what?
Starting point is 00:44:51 But I told them I said Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury firm. They have a hundred offices nationwide, more than 800 lawyers. I said with over $15 billion recovered from over 300,000 clients. Morgan and Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation. At this point, they were like, what's wrong with you? Stop. I just want to have lunch. I said, Morgan and Morgan has been fighting for the people for over 35 years. Submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan. It's easy. I'm telling you right now, people are going to get injured. I don't want it to happen. No one wants it to happen, but it's going to happen because this is life. It's profound. Now, you need lawyers to get,
Starting point is 00:45:31 get what's yours, get what's rightfully yours out there. Um, so I'm telling you, Submit a good injury clay with Morgan and Morgan. It's easy, baby. Trying to predict what celebrity will be roasted on my next episode is hard. Oh, I got to hate when they write it. They're so bad. Stop fucking writing. Be lawyers. Uh, uh, uh, but it's a good law firm, folks. They don't charge you unless they win. And it isn't that with life. So that's winning.
Starting point is 00:46:04 If you're ever injured, you could check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fees free unless they win. For more information, go to for the people.com T I M for the people.com slash T I M or dial pound law pound 29 from your cell phone. That's F O R the people.com slash Tim or pound law pound 529 from yourself. This is a paid advertisement. History meets excitement at Senna Gbuffalo Creek Casino. Walking distance from all of Buffalo's best attractions, Senna Gbuffalo Creek Casino is the perfect addition to your Buffalo to-do list. Enjoy the thrill of gaming and gourmet cuisine
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Starting point is 00:46:58 We're there something for everyone. Trick or treating, fun mazes, dance parties, costume parades, new seasonal menu options, and specialty fall drinks. It's everything you love about fall plus everything you love about Canada's Wonderland. Visit Camp Spooky Saturdays and Sunday September 23rd through October 29th. And right now, save on unlimited visits this year and next with a 2024 Gold Pass. Only at Canada'senderland.com. Lauren Bober was kicked out of Beetlejuice, the musical, the traveling, the thing about musicals is when they leave Broadway
Starting point is 00:47:35 or even when they are still on Broadway. But I think it's when they close, but maybe Beetlejuice is still open. I don't know. It was like a national tour. Yeah, I was on one of those years ago for Andy Gatier-Gun when I was 11 and my mother went with me for like three months. We toured around the country.
Starting point is 00:47:50 And then, you know, in the real Andy Gatier-Gun on Broadway, the Gina Davis was the star. She was a movie star and she played Andy Oakley. And then we had this woman who was like this Ethel Merman impersonator. And she was, you know, the touring version of the musical often, it's a far fall. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:48:11 On Broadway, the musical have like Josh Groban. And then when it goes on tour around the country, it'll be like Joey Fattone. Like it's a, it's a apocalyptic fall in terms of the cast. But they didn't deserve this. Whatever she was doing. She got kicked out of Beetlejuice, the musical for causing a disturbance. She was in the theater, I think vaping, talking, they cite an incident report, it obtained which representatives of the Buel theater in downtown Denver say group of
Starting point is 00:48:45 people were S leave after vaping singing recording causing a disturbance. Well, they were getting into it. She's a hillbilly. You got to let her get into it a little bit. She's a hillbilly. You know, that's the thing. I don't really want to defend her here, but she is a hillbilly. And there is a culture they have. And some of it is kind of singing along and vaping and stopping their feet and doing like handbone and jug bands and stuff. I mean, this isn't not a woman who's like seeing shows at the West end, the either West end of London or on Broadway. I mean, she's a heck. She's a straight up hillbilly. And I'm not saying that in a disrespectful manner, you know, publicly, privately,
Starting point is 00:49:27 I am, but I'm just saying like, this is who she is. That's her culture to kind of sing along and be a lot. She's a classless animal is what I mean. Like, so, but, you know, I don't know. Was was she being that disruptive? I don't know. I wasn't in the theater. She probably was. But that disruptive? I don't know. I wasn't in the theater. She probably was.
Starting point is 00:49:51 But that's the thing. She's unaware like the only reason she's going to see any type of theater is because it's beadal juice That's it The only shows that Lauren Bobert would ever go see are movies she's seen before You know, she's never going to She was she wasn't gonna go see like the ferryman on Broadway. The chess bottom where it's a brilliant cementous thing that Gaffingen told me to see. And I saw three times it was amazing. She's not going to go see death of a salesman, Lauren Bober.
Starting point is 00:50:17 She's not going to go see a view from the bridge. She's not going to go see Shakespeare in the park. She's not like, oh, a fellow is playing. Let's go see a fellow. She wants to see Beetlejuice. She's a gonna go see Shakespeare in the park. She's not like, oh, a fellow is playing. Let's go see a fellow. She wants to see Beetlejuice. She's a hillbilly. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with Beetlejuice, but there probably is.
Starting point is 00:50:33 I haven't seen it. I'm guessing. I'm sure it's fun. Sure it's fun and goofy and silly. But that's the only theater. I almost side with her here. She's trying. Like, she's trying.
Starting point is 00:50:51 She's a waffle house employee. She's a bartender. And don't hit me with the classish horse shit of like, well, she could still be brilliant. She ain't, she ain't. Yes, you could work at Applebees and be a genius. You could, you'd not. Most likely, I'm guessing law of averages.
Starting point is 00:51:17 She's a, a good. Her and her husband beat the shit out of each other on their lawn, the cops come to the house. She's like Sarah Palin 3.0 She's getting divorced because they can't stop beating each other up. They can't stop. I don't know Smash in the windows of each other's cars out with fucking bats. They find around I mean, they're like a fun couple The sex is probably really fun because then they attack each other with like weapons.
Starting point is 00:51:48 You know, you know that she's been barricaded in the bathroom. And then she goes and talks about family values and how important they are. And you know her kids are screaming and crying, maddie! And he's like, open this door. You know there's been a moment in her house where her kids are in their rooms, they're terrified.
Starting point is 00:52:05 They're locked in their rooms, they're terrified. And they're screaming and she's in the bathroom and he's kicking the door and he's like, open this fucking door, open this fucking door. Make no mistake, that's her home life. That's her home life. She's probably thrown around, and for good reason, she's probably got a mouth on her.
Starting point is 00:52:24 She's probably got a mouth on her, and for good reason, she's probably thrown around. And for good reason, she's probably got a mouth on her. She's probably got a mouth on her. And for good reason, she's probably thrown around. Let's be honest. Now, let's be very honest. Now, this is very, I often get into problems here on this show because I just speak extemporaneously. But she's got a mouth on her and there's probably reason she gets shoved in the kitchen.
Starting point is 00:52:40 She, it's not out of nowhere shoving, okay? When Lauren Bobert trips going down the back steps, it's not for no reason. She has a toxic mouth and and I don't I am not and I can't believe I have to say it's amazing that I have any Representation in this town because occasionally I have to say things like this, I am not defending hitting women. But Lauren Bobert is not getting shoved accidentally. She's doesn't have to lock herself in the bathroom accidentally. She's not getting chased when he chases her in a car when her husband, I think his name is Jason, I forget. But when her husband gets in a car and he chases her around, okay, it's not by accident. She's, she's, she's a live wire. She's the problem.
Starting point is 00:53:32 She insults him. She probably talks shit about his dick. I'm guessing because she's not going for like deep intellectual things, but that hurts to me. Can't say shit about his dick. Can't talk about Jason Boberts. Dickie. Is it Jason Bobard? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:46 Yes. So this woman, who again, had to leave her house because of family values. And she was getting, she was getting her into, she was, her mouth was as a, as a black older woman would say, her mouth was writing checks that she couldn't cash, right? Because Jason was probably, he had had enough of her. He had enough of her. And she's probably like, I'm gonna end up dead. I bet one day he looked at her and it was like, it was like full J eyes like I'm gonna cut your fucking head off and put it on a pike And again not for nothing not for no reason
Starting point is 00:54:30 She was probably very inappropriate and she said I'm gonna I'm gonna die here I gotta go and she's just trying to go to Beetlejuice because she's a hillbilly She's a hillbilly with a big mouth who brings whoopens on herself That she does kind of deserve and she's also in Congress She's also in cut. Let's not leave that out. She's the elected representative of the state of Colorado Whatever that means whatever that means, but I have no interest in that. I only look at a character study She is a saucy sexy bartender who knows out of fuck. She knows how to get on a dick and ride it She can make a man come which is more than I could say for some of these squawking liberal birds up in the Northeast where all sex is death
Starting point is 00:55:15 I'm just saying I'm not even having sex with women. I'm hearing it. I'm hearing it people talk to me They share things with me. So you get a little spicy hillbilly like Lauren Bulbert who's been fucking since she's 12. She is a, she's a real Southern carnival whore. And in a good way, in a good way, it makes a man hard when a woman knows how to fuck and will fuck. She will suck a cock. She will get on her knees. She will suck a cock.
Starting point is 00:55:45 She will get on her knees and she will suck a cock and she doesn't care if you've showered. You don't need to shower. She likes little spice. She likes little spice. She can snap your eyes will roll back in your head. She knows how to fuck, but she's also got a mouth and she's gonna get you in jail.
Starting point is 00:56:01 She's gonna get you in jail. Those northeastern cold liberal women will plot the destruction of your life for years. And then they'll take everything from you. You won't even know what happened. They'll just end up somewhere in a fucking bungalow in Florida and you'll be in some apartment going, what the fuck? Hop. You won't even know. You won't even know. But Boba, it's just, it's, she's, she's a spicy saucy, dangerous woman who will make you kill her. She will not stop until you kill her. That's a type of lady she is.
Starting point is 00:56:35 She's gonna just say the wrong thing and you're gonna want to kill her. And she's in Beetlejuice. Just trying to have fun with her friends. Her friends are also purile'll white trash garbage people. They have no education, they have no class, they have no distinction. But what I will say about them, they're probably all decent fox and they like drugs and alcohol. And you know what? I don't mind any of that.
Starting point is 00:57:02 I can't do it anymore, but they're not the li- Hang out with Lauren Bobbert is not the least fun you will have. It is not the least fun you will have. Lauren Bobbert, because she's all like, Guy marriage got to go and there shouldn't be no bar she is and everybody in the juice are running around fucking with everybody and the moral code, but she'll get on her knees and suck your cock after she's done a line off of it. She's an old school fucking
Starting point is 00:57:31 like, you know, bar made from dusk till dawn, get on the bar, vampire a core and that's important. And the thing about her is a woman like that, she's destined for something. I don't know where Lauren Bobert goes, but I like that she's still, because she doesn't respect theater. She's like, these fucking fake it. They go, Mike, they lie if and they better dance. And I'm going to fucking do what I don't even know if she talks like this, but she does, you know, but she doesn't, but I don't care. But the point is it's not like she respects the art of theater.
Starting point is 00:58:05 She's there to see Beetlejuice. She's a hillbilly who just had to divorce her husband, because if not, he was gonna cut her head up. He was gonna kill her. And this woman's destined for something. I don't know what it is. It could be a bad end. It might be a great end.
Starting point is 00:58:19 Maybe one day she'll lead us all. I don't know. She's not like lightfoot, who's iconic. She doesn't have an eye. She's not iconic. We can't put her on a pedestal. We cannot worship her. We worship Lori Lightfooter. Just started teaching and Harvard and watch her ass. I'm enrolling. We cannot put her on a pedestal and worship her as the be all an end all. And, you know, the greatest politician maybe in my lifetime is the great Lori Lightfoot. I mean that. Bobert shows promise. She shows promise. She's a spicy carnival
Starting point is 00:58:52 whore. And I like that. And that's something there's something to be said for that. There's something to be said for a woman who has that thing because they don't the thing about people like her is they they tend not to care about how like they're she doesn't have the ability to play any type of long game. It doesn't happen. People like her are very interesting to watch. They can't play the long game at all. They are just victims of their environment and circumstances which they've created. They create their environment and circumstances. And they just kind of
Starting point is 00:59:36 get thrown around and knocked about and they react in crazy ways and they're all fun to watch. And people like that either get pretty successful because they're they get to be pretty adept at riding the waves that they've created or they just get you know knocked around too much and you know you never see them again. We don't know. We do not know. My mother's art is not a joke and it will be a for sale and we will and by the way I'm on tour. I don't know if anyone knows that but I'm coming to Cincinnati Ohio. I'm coming to the Lexington, Kentucky. I'm coming to Davenport, Iowa, the Moana, Nebraska Sacramento, Perth in Australia, Perth. Adelaide Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne, Auckland, New Zealand, Christchurch, New Zealand Rochester, New York, New York,
Starting point is 01:00:20 New York, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Houston, Texas, Detroit, Michigan, Toronto, Ontario, and then Braia for new years. We're gonna maybe grab, we're gonna add some Boston, some Florida. Early January, you know, we are going to do a lot of those things. It's interesting. It's interesting when you look at the character studies of some of these people and how they're gonna react. It's interesting when you look at the character studies of some of these people and how they're gonna react. You know, like the better version of like, Bobard is like Christy Nome from Dakota, who's a little bit more, who Chris Matthews had Trump
Starting point is 01:00:55 would probably tap as his vice president. The RFK and Cheryl interview is doing very well. RFK made a lot of cool points. And I made a, you know, we got a blackout. And I'm like, I thought we were trying to kill him and then the media ran with that because nobody wants to talk about that guy's points. Josh Brown called him out from CNBC was like,
Starting point is 01:01:16 you know, Vanguard State Street and BlackRock represent millions of regular people. And, and then I was like, but, you know, me, Ray Cump, we're talking and it's like, RF like, but you know, me and Ray comp were talking. And it's like, RFK, if you want to get any traction, you need to get rougher and tougher and be like, I'm going to put Larry Finken jail. I'll kill him. I'll kill Larry.
Starting point is 01:01:34 If you like, he's got, look, Trump won by singing the most outlandish things. I'll put you in jail because he'd be in jail. Remember the things he said, he's, our case being a little too statesman like, I think he's got to go out there and he's really going to say, I'm going to put these people in jail. I'll put them in jail. I'll shut down their companies. You know, I'm going to, I'll kill them all.
Starting point is 01:01:58 I'll kill them all. I'm going to kill them. Well, how do you stop them from doing that? We kill them. I'll kill them. If he said, I'm day one. I'm day one kill him. Well, how do you stop them from doing that? We kill them. I'll kill them. If he said, on day one, on day one of my bread, you remember game of thrones where the scene where Ned Stark was beheaded in front of his daughter, who is his daughter,
Starting point is 01:02:16 Sansa, Sansa, and Sansa fell down because she saw her father beheaded. I will be had Larry Fang in front of his daughter on the first day of the presidency. On day one, day one of my presidency, I will be head Larry fang in front of his daughter and she will collapse. Like Sansa Stark that's seen in Game of Thrones, I'll cut his fucking, I'll cut his head off. And then I'll cut everybody's head off until people start listening. But that's... It's fun to imitate, but I can't keep doing it,
Starting point is 01:02:53 because then I will sound like that. And by the way, even though the voice might be a little tough, you gotta listen to him because he says a lot of interesting things. I gotta be... I think he's the best candidate in the race. I know that that might sound crazy. He seems like the most interesting candidate in the race. Just invite me to the compound. I just want to go to the compound. Yeah, this port. Can they book me to do a show at the Kennedy Comp? By the way, here's how my career wouldn't should end. If I was booked to do a show that Kennedy compounded on high-annice
Starting point is 01:03:28 port, I might retire. It might be the end. I've been doing this. I'm 38 years old. I started when I'm 25. I've more gouged years of my life to just get funny enough and good enough to hopefully do something people enjoy. And I started it.
Starting point is 01:03:46 I had zero dollars. I had no money and I was coming out of an industry that was dissolving and I was living in a shitty apartment. I had all these credit problems and blah, blah, blah. Who cares? Fast forward. If I got booked, if I was standing there doing comedy in front of the entire Kennedy family at the Kennedy compound in a high-annis port, it is my Madison Square Garden.
Starting point is 01:04:12 It wouldn't be a good try. It wouldn't go that well. It wouldn't matter. It doesn't matter. You see, it's not about that. It would be fine. I'd have some of the room, some of the time, put it that way.
Starting point is 01:04:27 It wouldn't be a kill box, the Kennedy Compendant Hand is poor. It's probably uptight, you know? Every time a bird flies by, everybody goes, but it would be kind of a fitting way to end it all and just go listen, I'm done as a standup comedian here because I've reached the heights of what I could do because it is a joke I would have made years ago.
Starting point is 01:04:53 I would have said something like, people say, where is what's your goal as a standup comedian? Yeah, I wanted to do the Kennedy compound, Labor Day. I wanted to do the Labor Day Kennedy compound, but it would be hilarious. Now it's not gonna happen, but it would be hilarious. Now it's not going to happen But it would be hilarious and I probably wouldn't quit because I'm some a dramatic to what just keep doing crap Anyway, you just keep doing stuff, but It would be something to think about if I shot a special there live at the Kennedy compound
Starting point is 01:05:18 And it would be a 17-minute special it wouldn't be good But it would be fascinating to just see the Kennedy, everyone just sitting there and white. Yeah. You know, it's Labor Day, they're all sitting there, you know? What if I did Bobby's voice the whole time and killed? Murdered.
Starting point is 01:05:38 Murdered. It's interesting. It's interesting these families and the way they operate and some of them sustain and some of them last for years and years and years. That's what the bober to the world can't do. They don't get long game. They can't put their emotions down. The Kennedys, the Bushes, these dynasties, they don't just happen.
Starting point is 01:05:58 You have to learn how to control your emotions. You can hate the elites. You can hate the East Coast establishment. You can't, but you can find this strain of human being in Texas, you could find them in California. The people that are able to subordinate their emotions, they're able to kind of shut their emotions off and then, you know, basically kind of play the long game, you know, and that's something that the Lauren Bober to the world can't do. That's what makes them so fun. But you know, I don's something that the Lauren Bober to the world can't do. That's what makes them so fun
Starting point is 01:06:25 But you know, I don't know if they will endure Like Lori Lightfoot could it was not indoors. She was a flash at the patch. She was fun. And she's gone. There's no Lightfoot dynasty They don't know how to do it. There is a way to do it. That's the thing There is an actual way to to be a politician for generations in this country as is presently constituted. I'm not saying that's a good thing. I'm saying that's a thing that there is a way to do it. There's Lauren Bobert can't even think about this. We have dynasties that have assassinated presidents engaged in drug running, human trafficking, fixing elections. This bitch can't not get kicked out of Beetlejuice.
Starting point is 01:07:11 You're not going to make it. You won't make it. You will not make it. It will not happen. It will not happen. If you can't figure out a way to not make the news, forgetting out of Betelger, how are you going to assassinate a president or run a fake war or flood the streets of Washington, DC with crack or all the other things are leaders of Dungeons Day where they are? Who invented
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