The Tim Dillon Show - 364 - A Time Gone By with H. Foley & Kevin Ryan

Episode Date: October 7, 2023

Tim talks with comedians H. Foley & Kevin Ryan from 'Are You Garbage' about which holiday is the classiest, aunts with dip, starting a pretzel franchise together and coming of age during Halloween. American Royalty Tour 🎟 https://www.timdilloncomedy.com/ Pre-Order ‘Death By Boomers’ By Tim Dillon 👉 https://rb.gy/gafn4 SPONSORS: Blue Chew BlueChew.com & Use Code: 'TD' Gametime Get The Gametime App & Use Code: 'TIM' ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch:  https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack

Kevin Ryan H. Fully the R.U. Garbage podcast. First time in studio. Thank you guys for coming in. What's up, man? Thanks for having us. Thanks for having us, buddy. I'm in Australia right now. This is coming out in a week. I travel.

I will be in Australia. Have you gone to Australia again? No, yeah. It's a 15 hour flight. I that's what I hear. It's 15 hours. It's blood clot central. A widow maker.

A widow maker air. Two pairs of compression socks for that flight. I get up and I walk in the middle of it and the people like to fly to tentative, like, what are you doing? I go, I'm trying to survive. I don't want to stroke out. Yeah. I'm trying to get off this plane with both sides of my body operational. But it's, it's, uh, it's a great country to do stand up comedy in, but it's a long fucking flight. Yeah. You're going, I mean, you've been, you were there not too long ago as well. That's also a mistake.

You can't go back immediately because the people go, we get it. We know what you do. We're aware. But yeah, we're doing well. We got Sidney's sold out to Melbourne is on its way. Then Brisbane and then the other ones with doing Auckland, New Zealand. We canceled Christ church. I thought more tickets would sell because that's where they had that shooter did that manifesto. So I really was hopeful about Christ church and I said to my team, I go, we're gonna be okay with Christ church because that guy wanted to shoot up a synagogue.

Yeah. I go, listen, I'm just saying they're wild. So maybe we're getting, and I'm not for any of that behavior, I'm just saying I think we're gonna move some tickets. We did not, which makes me happy. Yeah, it's a good reflection. It makes me actually very happy that those people

are not coming, you know? So I love you, gentlemen. Everybody knows you are your garbage podcast. You are the best new podcast in the world. Thank you, buddy. Yeah, it means a lot. I wanted you guys on around this, even though it's warm out in New York today, which fucks me up, I like the fall to be the fall. Love it. I want right? Yeah. It's a little hot. Well, too much. I went swimming yesterday in the ocean. Really? Where are you out in the hamptons?

Out Southampton, yeah, in the ocean. October. What do you think? Atlantic City's on the guy. Yeah. I don't know what this guy is doing. I went to Galveston, Texas and swam in the waters of the oil water. But I want to talk about Halloween with you guys because I know, I know that it's it's

the trashiest holiday or no. It ain't the classiest. I'll tell you that. It's definitely not the fucking classiest. It's the greatest. It is amazing. Many snickers. Let's go as to dirt, to fat dirt bags who don't like candy and fucking mischief, you know

what? What where do you put the holidays from from classy to trashy because that's kind of interesting. Do you go Christmas as the class is because you got the candle in the window and Christmas can go. That are, that are Christmas. What are you talking about? Christmas can go south real quick.

Nice fight on Christmas morning. Yeah. Where I think Christmas can be the class. If you're going Catholic, I'll like Easter to me. There's no like real booze in on Easter. It's Sunday afternoon. You go to church Easter. Thanks. It's thanks, but that's the class. I'll tell you right now. Here's how we could ruin that horses. My family during Easter at my aunt's Easter. Oh sees God rest. So this is why I have the top reading episode. You know, what you do.

I know I know Shane and Segura are climbing on me. I know it, but I'll tell you this. My aunt see God rest her soul and her husband Uncle Bill was a cop. Was that shooting just to fight? Hey, I bring a bullshit. Yeah, split second decisions. No. Hey, bring it up, Bullshit. Yeah. Split second decisions.

No, they were good people. It was a different time. Yeah, they were good people. And, you know, they had Easter Sunday on my family would drink and then throw horses. Geez. And so there would be kids running around and then you'd have a metal horseshoe like whizzing by your head.

Yeah. And like you'd be in your church, you know, and then like, you know, somebody would scream at you, be like, get them flat away. Yeah. And just sling a throwing metal through the door. But I agree with you in theory, it's not a thing classier than Easter.

Yes. Yeah, but it sucks. And I always thought in horseshoe's that I wasn't good at it, because I didn't have a cigarette hanging out of my mouth. Well, that's what I thought. That's what I thought made the uncles that good. It was a Heiney.

You had to have a Heinecure and a sig hanging out in the mouth in the throw. You had to have that. You had to have it. And they were and they played horses during Easter Sunday. And then Easter Saturday we would do. My nanny would do a pink ham and she would be the mustard vinegar glaze. Mm-hmm. Okay. Which was real nice. And then she would do, uh, you know, the sides and stuff. Yeah. When they, when those honey baked, started getting popular, that's a big deal. That was like, we're going to get the honey baked the spiral cut. Yeah. She's potatoes, little cinnamon apples. Yes. Yeah. Of course. But I'll tell you why you used to can kick rocks. One pastels. Get the fuck out of here. Interesting. I hate that shit. Interesting.

Age fully coming out against pastels. Yeah, it takes the hard takes that age fully early, early on in the episode. Church is nice on church. On Christmas. No, but I'm just saying, you know, you have something. Night's on. It's the winner. You're not going inside. You're hanging out in the back. You're goofing around. Yeah. You know, any mean you maybe got a couple of M&Ms or some hurts. You get as prop on your heels. Yeah. Dude, fucking Easter, you feel like you're a used car salesman. I'm walking around in a pink blazer like a bitch. I'm at it here with that. I will tell

you what thing about Easter. There's what the Easter cigarette outside of the church. Oh, it's nice. Glass is coming in. There's a whole little bit of a breeze. A little bit of a breeze. You're still sweating. You're still sweating, but the sweat's being cooled by the breeze. Yeah. And you're having a cigarette outside the church.

And the priest, they're all looking at you. I know what I'm doing, but I'm here. Yeah. I'm on the property. I'm here. I'm on the property. They were always waiting to rip a heater. That's right. The first time he saw a priest ripping a dart behind the rectory, holy shit.

He's like, I gotta have something now. So Easter, I think you'll write about that. Easter does the candy's whack too. It presents as the class. I don't like the candy and I don't like, you know, the Easter egg hunt the basket. Hey, hey, hey, what are we working for here? I just I know you got to give it to me. There was only one that had a five in it.

You know, my aunt used to hide these baskets so aggressively that people would start crying. And my cousins would start crying. There was no baskets. It was you would hide them in places. My grandfather had it did well. And he built his own house in in Mutton Town, Long Island, which is an area where much for low-packs. Mutton town doesn't sound nice. Money sounds amazing. I'm not sure. I know. It's one of those things rich people do where they're like you'd think it's not,

but it's stunning. And he had a 5,000 square foot house, which was huge. The big house. And but here's the problem when you hide baskets. The kids start crying because you look in a few places and people start getting upset now. And my aunt really liked that because she was sick. She's here to do that.

And she didn't have children herself. And, and when we people would start to cry, and she would just go, look, look, look, harder, work harder. And we run up and down the stairs. And then we'd eventually find it. And then what was to treat? Nothing. You know, couple of pastels.

You know, you get a nice Reese's duck. I mean, Reese's what is it? What is it? Those were art. The peeps Reese's egg. Yeah, he's can kick fucking rocks. Reese's egg, the Cadbury. I do like a Cadbury cream. A lot of Cadbury cream egg. Love them. A Cadbury cream, McFlurry and London is nice. Holy shit. They're doing that over there. Welcome to the world. Welcome to global. I got to get a payus board. That's all right. Yeah, it's not bad and

The candy didn't catch up until recently when I was it when we were kids. It was the shitty Low-low low off-brand chocolate bunnies that were hollow Chocolate and it was chemical taste. Yeah, yeah, you had a chemical taste and plus I remember Was it a Russell Stover. What what kind of bunny did you get? Russell Stover. I'd be all right. Russell Stover was the one that was kind of mid grade. Yes. Mid grade. Respectable. Your father still has a job. Yeah. You got a Russell Stover. He got a bonus at you. Lint is a little next level. Lint. Who's getting lint? I didn't have that. I didn't have that till 32. Yeah, a lunch

of sea salt. The lint bunny is a nice bunny. Oh, the lint bunny is a good bunny. I remember one year getting a solid white chocolate crucifix. And I was like, can I see if you can even find it? I would love to see a solid white chocolate. I was like, is that you think this crazy? That was definitely something it gave out for the Clue Clux clan. By the way, it's real, it's real. I love it. You can get a white chocolate crucifix.

How do you feel about the white chocolate? Oh, I'm a fan. Here's what I like. I love it. I like it in ice cream. What my favorite flavor in Hagenas is a white chocolate raspberry truffle ice cream. That's good. When G'dayva had their ice creams, and they were only around for a few

years in the glory days of the late 90s, early, early 2000s, they had a white chocolate raspberry ice cream. White chocolate raspberry in ice cream might be one of the greatest flavor combinations, but as an actual candy, I don't like it. The only one that kind of hangs in there is the Hershey's cookies and cream. Of course. That's a different. Yes, it was so classy to me. It was so like, you get it once a year when it comes to aisle. I think looking back, I don't know if I love the taste, but I love the idea.

There's a pageantry to Easter, the flowers to church and stuff. It is in theory classy. So we put that at number one. We're ignoring by the way, Islamic and Jewish holidays here, not because we're not inclusive, but I don't have any experience. Do you gentlemen? No, I do not. We don't have any experience with Ramadan or.

I was always jealous of my Jewish friends on Christmas day that got to go get Chinese in a movie though. Yes, but it's sad. Yeah, got to go get Chinese in a movie though. I said all the time It's sad. Yeah, I don't it there's a sadness I thought it was under the radar and chill no lines. Well, and a nice Chinese restaurant Well, I don't know Chinese restaurant. You can do that on a Tuesday afternoon go catch a movie Yeah, it's something that we would do they do it then as like Like I nothing else going on. That's right. It's actually a little sad. Yeah. I love it. It's a little sad, but I will say that like little Kung Pao chicken and saving

private Ryan. Well, there's nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong with that life. Oh, shout out to D day. There's nothing wrong with a little Kung Pao chicken. Or, you know, you got to remember like, you know, that being, first of all, that, that had to be amazing when movies were amazing. Uh, when you were like, yeah, we're being, first of all, that had to be amazing when movies were amazing. When you were like, yeah, we're doing some Lomaine and the mask. Like, like, like, oh, we're gonna see Ace Ventura too. Like, when movies were, now I feel like it's not as, you know what I mean? And people are probably doing it at home.

Like, yeah, we'll get take out and watch them throw on. Oh, fuck that. Now, I want a nice Chinese restaurant where they put the, uh, the crispy noodles on the table in a bowl, the good ones, not the ones in the fucking bag. No, the good ones, the good duck sauce and the good hot mustard. And then you go out to the big screen and you see something good. Yeah. I agree with you there is Christmas, the de facto second. I mean, Christmas can be very, very try this Christmas on are you garbage was one of the first one of the first questions we ever came up with is what color were the lights on your house or your tree. Yeah,

it could swing so hard in the way class. That's correct. Colored lights, eikes, Easter, everybody's got to kind of show up somewhat proper. Agreed. Christmas is different. Christmas has declined in my household so much that I have. First of all, the prevalence of sweatpants and sweatsuits. It's up and slippers and snuggies and weird like comfort leisure wear has is insane. Yeah. And the who cares attitude about the food and the presentation is troubling. Yeah. You're not wrong. It's because a lot of these boomers have checked out, you know, their, my grandmother was a great cook. My nanny was

a great cook. These people were out there making prime rib cream abruptly. Starting first thing in the morning cooking. You'd have to present. They get at it. They start going. These boomers about 45 minutes before people come take a fuck around the Xanax and then throw cheese on a platter, store bought cheddar cheese on a platter with some triskits. And then God only knows where we're going from there. The chicken, the Chick-fil-A nugget tray has ruined this country. That's a good thing. I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a,

I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I love it. I'm not saying it's nice, but when they chart the decline of the empire, yeah, the soft pencil you're not. He's getting mentioned.

Oh my God. You bring me here and do this to me. That's off. So is there's nowhere to go from there that's that's going to be positive. No, what you're so Philly soft pretzel to company Philly soft pretzel company. I'm well aware short. For the listers. He owns 30%. He's got three locations. I just don't want to have. That'd be great. It would be great. That's what you need to do. You need to start doing that. Content purposes alone, the three of us should open a self

of Billy's, self-price company. No, it'd be amazing. And it would be- Get a readers in the hampton. It would be the, dude. Shout out to readers, man. Love readers, but it would be the best episode of undercover boss, because immediately,

and then I'd be like, oh, get these motherfuckers. Three of them. We all have fake mustachees on it, yeah. We're like, how long you been working here? For me, they's fully like, what's the Prince? We don't know. Are you dipping in the cheese?

You're saying that so the pretzel tray, I just have, it was a labor day weekend. My brother's house, I got there early, the pretzel tray, we brought the pretzel tray. We stopped it. It sat on my lap the whole ride over to the garden. I was salivate and you could feel it on the thigh. Yeah. And it's the nugget. You feel a salt on the thigh. I would be lying. If I were you down, we cracked it open in the car. I went out with Ray company's wife after my mother's funeral to a bar in Long Beach called the saloon. And we're sitting in the saloon and we got the soft prancell tray with the cheese in the middle. And it is nice.

It's awesome. It is nice. Immunal, it brings people together. It really does. But now the dips they have, they have the cheese dip, like the cheese they have. They have cinnamon. Cinnamon. Cinnamon. That will blow your fucking hair back.

Now I'm kind of liking it. On paper, you look at it. You're like, that don't know. Dude, one little dip of that. Yeah. It's changed for the better. It's fantastic. I like that.

And you could even go back a couple of years with the cinnamon on that same tip. What started to go downhill? Remember when the fruit tray started to get a little popular, but it wasn't just a fruit tray. Remember the cream cheese? Yes. Whip cream dip in the center. Yes. Yes. Yes. But all that stuff, the reason I say it's the downfall of the of the empire is that's replacing a homemade dip. A bottle of chicken. Something that your grandmother used to do. Absolutely. We were riding the slide down. I'm not, I'm not complaining. There was always an aunt who came with nothing but a dip.

This woman did not exist except to walk through the door with a dip. What a dip. You didn't care about her. You didn't care what she said. She smoked sigs in the back. People were like, hey, like it was no one cared. She had coke bottle glasses. She would six in the back. Uh-huh. People were like, hey, like it was no one cared. She had coke bottle glasses. She would walk in, but she'd walk in either with like in the Northeast.

She'd walk in with a clam dip. She might walk in with a seven layer dip, a seven layer Mexican dip. We were a big taco dip, we called it. Taco dip, whatever you want to call it, Buffalo chicken dip. Yeah. So this woman's walking in with a dip. She has nothing. Yeah.

She has no children. No kids, a small old dog. She has a tiny dog. She has nothing in her life. She makes that dip once a year and she walked into the house and her only social interactions on this entire planet are people like us going, you bring the dip and she goes, of course I did and she smiles and then we smile. And that's, and then for the other 364 days here,

she's dead. She just sits in her house and she watches soap operas and drinks and takes pills because her life is horrible. But that moment when she goes, when we go, did you bring the dip? And her name's always like, it's reenie or something. Yeah, it's right.

It's reenie here with the taco dip. It's two syllables and it makes no sense. I have to say, my mom is Aunt Nesey with the taco dip. I sure do. I sure do. And Nesey, you doing a taco dip? And that dip is important and you're right. Now those people that we know that that dip was their life. They've died off a little bit or do they just show

up with them because it's not as nice when you're just bringing the pretzels. No, but it's also like, oh, I'm going to invest three hours. I'm going to the store. I forgot. I got to go back to that's it. That's an afternoon to make the taco dip to make the Buffalo chicken dip to whatever. Or you go on the way over. I'm a stop at the soft pretzel. The chick filet, spend 20 bucks and we're choked to downfall. My family part is my aunt started making dirt. She's doing dirt in a in a pale in an actual pale. We yeah, in the we used to do them in the like those clay pot, like those plastic potters. She would do it in a pal with the gummy worms and she would put, you know, the, what is it, the Jello pudding?

It's like, yes, Jello, it's Jello pudding, the gummy worms, the crushed Oreo or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That started a decline of dessert. Sure. That is very tough to, you know, describe other than to say that that was the beginning, maybe at the end of my family. I remember the first time I had that it was a luncheon after a funeral. That was in a public park under an awning. I swear to God. That was the first time I saw that. I was like, what is that? Is it a funeral for a drive by? And they explained

it to me. I was like, holy shit, that's genius. We ate it with a shovel. Couple gummy worms in the house. We had the shovel. We had the shovel. We had the shovels. Yeah. I mean, absolutely.

That blew my brains about it. So to me, that was a big thing. But Christmas, you're right, it can go bad and I've seen it go bad. Yeah. You start mixing boo, especially with my family. We're a big boo's family. You mix in boo's. And the emotions are high. Emotions are high. We're a big booze family. You mix in booze and the emotions are high

Emotions are how does that everybody spend a shit ton of money that mom because Easter you don't even feel like it's a holiday There's no president really Christmas you're like you and every there for me. Yeah, all those emotions come a rush between Thanksgiving and Christmas Those two holidays those are holidays where you're the pressure red line and it's right It's tights running through your veins. Credit cards are maxed out. Oh, God. You didn't get what you want. You in the life for fight. What are the kids? How are you going to pay? Kids are ungrateful. All that shit. The rich, the rich side of the family just kind of shoves it in your face. Yeah. Little by little. Yeah. That would, that would start up in our family on the Friday after Thanksgiving.

Right. Because on the Friday after Thanksgiving, five carloads of our family would all head up to the King of Prussia mall for the big day is shopping. Yeah. Friday sales. You need it to food court. You know what I mean? You'd say tell your parents what you want it and all this stuff. Right.

Then you would leave it your aunt. They'd run in and get it real quick. Is it a bourbon chicken? Are you a ranch one chicken and cheese at what? Like the food? Your question. Where what are you doing? We used a walk and roll.

I used to love a walk and roll. Nothing wrong with that. I was a sabarro's man. Love the interest. Still do. And by the way, I've eaten it in New York City. I, you want to hear something? You want to hear you want to hear something?

When I was a tour guide in New York City, uh, let me tell you about sad. Okay. I'm going to tell you right now something that I feel like it's, it's, it's, it's, it's tough to even admit and come out of my mouth. Times Square, Sabaro, breakfast buffet. Whoa. When I was a tour guide, what's that looking like? Not good. What are those? What are those?

Those home fries have to be hash brown patties, frozen patties. What you like. I love. I love. When you do, you take a patty, you put a little scramble, bacon, and then you put the patty on top. You make a little hash brown sandwich, and I would do it. Never thought to think that.

Look, there it is. Look at that. New Yorker. there it is. Go to the third picture over there. It is that's the part of the Sabarro breakfast buffet. They had a literal breakfast buffet in Times Square that you could eat. And I would eat there. I don't know before my tour, before I would give tours in New York City on a tour bus. Holy shit. I had to slow you down a little bit. Let me tell you right now, that first tour was real fun. Yeah. Not a lot of tips on that one. Yeah. No. I was sometimes I would do the tour. I'd literally get on the bus and I And I go hell's kitchen.

Then I go Central Park, Central Park, and then other time, I would just be like, sometimes you try to hit a Bernie on the bus with no one saying really. Yeah, you're going. This is why I love you. You got a baseball manager in the back. Maybe there's six, maybe there's six people on the bus. Maybe the Russians, Russians are great. They don't know. They're not rats. Americans are rats. You give me a family from Ohio. You give

me a woman named Donna. You're getting ratted out. A woman named fucking Ivanka or her husband, Oleg. They don't care. She wants a drag. She wants a drag. She's maybe hitting one. You go to the back, you're just like this. You know, you hide it. Yeah, you palm it. And you palm it and then you just keep it to the side. You get a few and then you toss it off the bus

and then you keep going, you know. Wow. Yeah, I mean, so Christmas can go really bad. I think the, the, well, decorate, Christmas is one of the things to really decorate the house for. Right. Right. So it's like right away. If that's bad, yeah, that's a real big indicator. Yeah. Of what you're doing. Yeah. If the lights are just like kind of thrown across the bush in the front, yeah, you can see the extension cords, the things of flickering. There's like, that's going

to be a, that's going to be a rough Christmas inside. You got to have white lights. White lights. You got to have white lights. White lights. You got to have white lights on the tree or color lights can be done very well like kitschy. Like, oh, it's like a homage back to the fucking 60s or whatever, but it's got to be done real like right. The one thing that does class up Christmas, and this is depending on different families and stuff like that. If there was the uncle and the aunt that didn't have kids that did well, that showed up Christmas day, that had a stack of money holders in their breast pocket.

And everybody was getting broken off with a fist. Chris, when you opened a card from your grandparents and saw a hundred dollars cash or something, that was you were like, start playing the market. Let's go. Static. Yeah. Because that was you were, you were like, start playing the market. Let's go. Static. Yeah. Because that was like the best press. I had my Ankeit was a, exact, a big company in Philly, cash.

No kids. I was a God son just broken all. That's the guy that I kind of will be because I don't have kids. So it's like, here's the money. Here you go. Here's an extra. Everybody's getting 50. You get to, I was like, there's something really. Here you go. Here's an extra half. Everybody's getting 50, you get two.

I was like, there's something really nice about when a family gets it. Like my family now, the kids, all of the cousins have gotten older, but nobody's had kids. Nobody has populated. So I always said this, as you get older, the holidays, unless there are children, they get sadder. Yeah. You know, they got to keep fresh blood. And what happens is people just start, it's just sad and this is how people start talking

about cell phones, like people have said on a sectional, and this is one to say, enough. Sabaros. Fucking pizza. I'm out of the office this week with Strapthroat. I hope you guys are enjoying this episode with the Are You Garbage Boys. And hopefully the Middle East, you know, comes down. But I want to talk about Blue Choo right now because I've talked about it for seven years. And that must mean I love it. Blue Choo is a pill that you can take to make your penis hard and it has the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis, but it's in a chewable form and you can get it prescribed

online. There's no embarrassing doctor visits or bumping into somebody that you know at the drug store because they will ship it to you in a discrete package so you don't have to explain to your roommate or other members of your family what's going on with your penis Bluetooth is good. So if you go to bluetooth.com and use promo code TD at checkout You're going to get your first month free. That's crazy. You go to bluechew.com, use promo code TD at checkout.

You're going to get your first month free, and that is a big deal. And again, out of your office with Strapthroat, I'm hoping everything is going well, and I hope that from the Ukraine to Israel, to the Gaza Strip, to all of these places that we could all kind of just cut it out and stop being knuckleheads, as my nanny would say, stop being dodo birds and knuckleheads, and get the blue chru for your penis. People sit on a sectional

and start talking about cell phones and cell phone service. And you start thinking, any at the house. You start right there. That's the spot. Maybe there is no God. Maybe this is pointless.

How do you turn the ringer off? It keeps ringing. I don't know what it is. You know what I do. Yeah, you're all gonna tip on it. Well, she's on our family plan now. As soon as the words family plan come out, man, I go, I'm out, I'm leaving.

I don't, this is a, this is nothing. This is less than nothing. This is a conversation people would have on a, on a public bus somewhere elevator. Then to your rights, elevator talk, we don't, we were family and no one cares about anything. That's when I have to go. And Christmas has now become,

you see these people are strangers. When you have a divorced family, like I do. You're sitting next to people, you don't know who they are. Sure. I don't know who my aunt, my stepmother's, brothers, nieces. Yeah. So I'm sitting next to people,

I have no idea who they are. That's tough. And that's what happens sometimes in a family of divorce. Yeah. Because now you're sitting at a table with strangers. Although I will say this, my stepmother's, her sister-in-law Libby, does a shrimp scamp, you'll change your life.

Yeah, Libby's all right. And she does, and she does, you scamp, you'll change your life. Yeah. He's all right. And she does. And she does. And she does. You know why? Because she uses garlic powder, not a clove is ever seen. No. She just garlic powders that bitch.

Like, I mean, it's crazy. And it's like fentanyl. It's just really, really good. And you just eat like a pound of it. And then you're calm at toast and you're on some sectional in a basement of a house and then they then they just start going in about like, well, I'm AT&T. I have a, Tim is, you know, Tim is AT&T.

It's your sketch. And they have AT&T and LA. Like, yeah, right. You know, that's not bad, cats. So, you still get the unlimited minutes. You're right. I envy the families that almost have a tragedy now, where it's like somebody went to jail,

where you can talk about that. Like, if there's one guy who's not there because he's serving time, we can speak about him. It's a topic. It's a topic, it's real. I envy the families who at least have someone to talk about

who's destroyed their life. Instead of cell service or like traffic, that's another thing. How you getting home, how'd you get here? That's crazy. That's traffic's crazy. We go down the shore every summer and it's every, when you get there,

you get down on a Friday, when you get down, when you's leaving, and how'd you get, do you take the ball with me. It's that's it's traffic. It would be better if we all had some somebody to go, you know, you know, you know, we were going to visit him soon. We're going to visit him soon. You know, he's doing you going. Yes. Doing what he has to do. Like I said, my mother's funeral and did they say anything to you about Ronnie about what happened? Right, they're like that. Did they talk you?

You know, you're in the line getting a scampy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What a day side. I don't even really hear anything about it. Have you heard from him? I'm in my mother's funeral. This guy comes out to me and goes, he goes, hey, he goes, I dated your mother back in the day.

I was like, my mother was like hot back in the day. So I was like, oh, I don't wanna, okay, thanks. Who said this to you? This guy is my mother's funeral. Fucking long, I don't know who's in front of urn. We're right in front of the urn. She, we got a cream in it. She's in the urn. And we're sitting there. She's got this beautiful collage of the car on boats and her doing Florida things. And you know, I'm sitting there. And the guy comes up to me. He goes, he goes, I dated your mother back in a day. And I go, I go,

oh, he goes, yeah, you know, my, Jimmy, I'm not going to say his last name because I'm Jimmy, and he goes, you know, my son James, I could, yeah, how's he doing? He goes, not good. Oh, I mean, he goes, not good. I go, okay, like, finally, leave it at that. Finally, leave it at that, but they never are. He goes, yeah, he goes, he's got drug problems, and he's got mental problems.

So he's in the hospital right now, and he's standing there with his wife. He goes, he's in a hospital right now, but he goes, uh, he sends his regards. He goes like, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's,

that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's and that's our attitude if he tries will try and then he looked at me goes like this He goes you know something in the hamptons I heard He was pre-woken for a room when he gets out pretty nice out there It was just a way he said he goes to his in hospital when he tries will try You know some now he's that that's not it's just like one guy said to be walking on my mother's funeral He goes he goes blessing in disguise now like's Jesus. This guy that owned a surf shop, he goes blessing in this. Because Long Island,

you have to understand the death of a family member usually comes with some type of check. Shhh. Comes with an inherited house. It comes maybe with a few Tiffany lamps. I never thought of these people in Long Island, They live to inherit. And once they've inherited, they then immediately start complaining about the taxes they have to pay on what they inherited. They're just, you know, like immediately they inherit their mother's house. And then like the next day, they're like, these fucking taxes. Yeah. These immigrant, this community's fallen apart. So when he's like, blessing into skies, he was kind of funny because he's like,

you know, in all death in Long Island, there's opportunity. There's cash. There's cash. There's a payout. Yeah, there's a deal. There's a title getting transferred. But I saw these boomers walking into her funeral

and I was like, it's just an amazing generation of people, you know? They're just really amazing. Think about from where they started on this planet. You know, my parents were born in 1952. They grew up during the 60s, the hippies, Woodstock. Now it's 2023, okay? The amount of technological change in that period of time,

I don't know that there's any generation that has experienced that in the way that these people have. No, at the age they were, yeah. At the age they were, to see how different things are, you know, and to be able to go on all of these different applications and still be racist. And still keep the old ideas and the old value system through every new from Facebook to TikTok. They are not dissuaded. Like the fear and the paranoia that they just have

just to be able to like spread that on every new and they can barely use these things, but they can use them well enough. They can get a status up. They can get a couple of words up. And it's just one of those things where holidays I think have become less interesting because you know what all the people are doing.

Sure, you know what they're doing? And you know what they think. And like I have that. It's also like, you know, everything's been so political. Like we were talking about over the past five years or whatever. And it's like, you'll go somewhere and it's the second of conversation starts. Everybody's hanging. We're at the island and we're eating and we're drinking and laughing and breaking balls.

And then someone's like, did you see this? And I'm like, I'm out. Yeah. Because like my family is 90. I'm not that I'm, I'm in, I'm neutral. I'm in the middle. I'll give a fuck about that. I'm like, ruined. I'm out, right? Yeah. Cause my family's 90, I'm not that I'm, I'm neutral. I'm in the middle, I'm gonna give a fuck, but they're all Republican. So it's like, but it's like, here's the deal. There's no reason on a salad line.

Sure. You should hear the name George Floyd. Yeah. There's zero reason. Uh-huh. And they don't even pronounce his name right? Like one of my uncles once was like, this, you know, George, George. And then somebody's like even pronounce his name right like one of my uncles once was like this You know George And then somebody's like from the other room

Wait No one has to yell the name George Floyd throughout the house While we're putting meatballs on the plate. Yeah with the alley you've got it And you've been down in the city lady. No, you're going down there. What are you crazy? Yeah, it's nuts. It's right It's every night it turns so quick. It turns very quick and it's like they want they want it to get excited when the political People come to the party. Oh, they're they've prepared talking points. Well, there's a few split the second Third in the door. You're like is it two minutes? Is it ten minutes? Three hours? I don't know what it is But it's fucking happening and I'm getting called a pussy real quick. It's coming

out and they're just like, they're, they're ready to pound. And it happens from both sides because my aunt is very liberal. And she likes to get into it too. Like we, she was out east at the house. And it's beautiful out. And it's nice. And every, you know, my cousins' kids are in the pool, like everybody's doing okay, there's no reason for any of this. And she's just sitting there and she's just eating food and she just looks up from her lobster roll and she's like, when are they gonna put Donald Trump in jail?

And I'm like, can you just eat your fucking lobster roll? Can you eat your full Christ? Can you eat your fucking lobster roll? Can you eat your full Christ? Can you eat your fucking lobster roll? 20 dollar lobster roll. 20. Come on. It's crazy out there. 80 dollars a pound. It's stupid. Exactly. It's stupid. You just eat it, but it's just they cannot help themselves. Because there before they got there, they were at home for an hour and a half on some old laptop at the, at the island in the kitchen, just going through Facebook. And it's this and it's that and it's lantern flies and it's, they're just going nuts.

So that's just in them. And you know what I think is interesting is people used to have intra family feuds and they would be about real things. Like they'd hate each other over something that made sense. Now maybe it was silly, maybe it was ridiculous. You know, a famous one is like, grandma died, the house got sold, somebody felt swindled. Money. My family doesn't talk to nobody because of money.

Money's a big one. Yeah. Sometimes it's a thing, someone got something in an inheritance, somebody should, somebody didn't go to somebody else's Christmas or kids birthday party. I respect that. You respect that. You're a personally attacked or you feel personally. You're a real world.

He didn't visit her at the nursing home. Right. We were out there every Sunday. Yes. Now people fight over politics, which is the craziest thing to me. They hate each other because of politics, which is the craziest thing to me. They hate each other because of politics, which is not affecting them really other than... They're day to day, yeah.

They're day to day. Other than they like the idea of having moral superiority over the other people, we used to have, when I was growing up, there was this bear, this snuggie, you know, the detergent. Yeah, of course. Huggy bear, right? Yeah. I forget the snuggles. Snuggles did bear.

It was a bear. Okay. So snuggles the bear and my cousins, I had this snuggles and I kind of gave it to them, but I didn't really give it to them. Something had happened or whatever. And yeah, it looked exactly like that. It's kind of creepy now that I see it. You had a laundry detergent bear at a snuggle bear. And then my aunt, we would all mean my cousins would fight over this bear, fist fight over the bear. And then my aunt at the end of the party would go to my grandfather, like, I have to be a R because she was taking it for them. They would charm and nothing wrong with that, but let's just, it is what it is.

And they believed in certain things. And this was a big strain on our family that my family felt like they had stolen this bear from me. I gave it to their Nazi kids. Mm-hmm. Okay. And things like that started feuds. Of course. Dumb things like that were starting to feed.

And I respect that. Yeah. You know, I remember during the Fourth of July one year, my, my, my, someone called my uncle's wife a Jew. My aunt Don whose last name was Hassan, but she was maybe a little Arab. She had a nose thing. Was it followed up with by, she knows what I mean? Come on. It was one of those words like, let's not, it's fine. Well, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, So then he's like, fuck all of you. I'm going to leave and drive home and he was hammered. So my uncle and my other uncle went out and took the air out of his car. They flattened all of his tires so we couldn't leave. He's aggressive, but effective. Aggressive, but effective. This was Fourth of July. Me and the kid who lived up the block were

sitting. I was sleeping at their house. They were like best friends with my uncle's family. So we all got to stay over there. The old adults were just getting hammered. We were watching this whole thing from like a house down watching my uncles take the air out of my other uncle's car so he couldn't drive away. And then my grandfather got up because then they wouldn't stop.

And my grandfather was famous for doing this. He's done it a few times. He would like get up and go downstairs, and knock somebody out and then just go to bed. So my uncle, my uncle was getting really crazy. This was another holiday and he was just spouting and being nuts and my grandfather that came down just laid him out and went right back to bed.

And then the next day my uncle was like, who knocked me out? My grandfather was like, I did and my uncle was like, thank you, I needed that. And he goes, you know, anytime. But he was like a P.A.L. boxer. I was like an Irish box or would just, and so we had a violent kind of drunken.

Yeah. I come from that. Yeah. There's fist fights are close to fist fights once a year, easily. Right. Right. Yeah. So why can't we get back to that?

I'm out of the office with strep throat this week. And I hope you guys are enjoying the podcast with the RU garbage boys. Love those guys. Many people don't know the story about when I tried to get tickets to the Taylor Swift concert but I was desperate and I started prostituting my body to get tickets to it because I couldn't afford them and I didn't understand the scalpers and these websites, and I was prostituting myself. And it was hard, but I kept doing it for about three months in hopes that I could afford to see Taylor Swift at, I forget where, but one of the places she was going,

so far maybe, and I am a prostitute because of it, and I have AIDS. And AIDS is not a big deal as much because you can survive with AIDS for very long time, although it is awkward to bring up. And it's not even HIV is full blood, I have full blood. Which is not, but just still is bad. Because I wanted to see that concert.

So, barely, I have full blood AIDS because I was prostitute to myself. And I would let anyone do anything to me for any amount of money, scat, piss, shit, blood, play, anything, any of it. Do you know how much I love Taylor Swift? When you're getting just fucked by people,

you don't even know because one guy, I would have, he would wear a mask and hold a gun to my head. And I would only, I would just be on all fours. And he would just come in and I would see him in the mirror with the mask on. He would hold a gun to my head, which he said wasn't loaded. I hope it wasn't. And then he would leave.

And it was, you know, I don't know if he gave me AIDS. But there was another way to do this. And I wish I had known about this app earlier and it was the game time app. And they have less minute tickets, flash deals, zone deals, easy to find and buy tickets for every kind of event in your area, views from all seats,

and the venue lowest price guarantee event cancellation, protection, job loss, protection, et etc. And that to me is exciting because you can get the best tickets, the best deals, no aids from this app. You just can do it. And if you download the Game Time app, Create and Account and use the code TAM for 20% off, $20 off your first purchase. Download the Game Time app, Create and Account and use the code TAM for 20% off your first purchase. Download the game time app, Create an Account, use the code TAM for 20% off your first purchase. You're gonna have a much better life because you're not gonna be in a motel in Jersey

with a gun in your head getting peed and pooed on so that you can go see Taylor Swift. You know? But when I finally made it, and I I was in that and she did love story Every time I was beaten by a trick Every time I was beaten by a trick and it was a lot Every time I was beaten by a trick pissed on by a trick was worth it when I heard her to do love story whoo

I would do it all again, but you don't have to go to the game time out I'm going to be a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more

of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more people are now angry all the time. There's no, they're constantly, they're constantly being reinforced of life. This is what I believe. This is this article. This is that angry. They're running hot that holidays used to be a special time because people would drink alcohol and then have this flood of emotions and see each other.

Now people just hate each other all day every day. It's like a time release, Adderall versus doing a line of it. Yeah. I also think too, right? Like you said, it's like, you release, Adderall versus doing the line of it. Yeah. I also think too, right? Like you said, it's like, you know, there was a, this booze is involved. There's this release of emotion. And sometimes it's good.

Sometimes you would get out, I fucking love you. You mean so much. Yeah. Other times it was bad. You fucking stole my, you know, whatever. But then in the morning or the next day, you're reconciled, right? Right. Like you're not reconciling over a political argument because you still feel you're right.

There's at least some sort of, I'm sorry, I was fucked up last night, I was out of line. That in like an Irish Catholic family is essential. It's huge. That's huge. It's one of those things where technology is making people slowly less human. And that's the unfortunate thing.

Halloween, was it the party route for you? How does it? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. slowly less human. Yeah. And that's the unfortunate thing. Halloween. Was it the party route for you? How does it? Uh, no, I mean, as a kid, it was suburbs outside of Philly, just hardcore trick or treating. Like, right. You know, that was me too. But then you're meant, you know, you become a man that first year you throw an egg. This is why the first year that my friends, like kids like Alfred Kinesi who is popular. He's maybe still popular. I don't know. I'm singing to be over it. But those kids, Johnny Manics, Pat McCraight, when I got this, yeah, those these were like great, high school. Great names, great, but this is eighth grade, great, great, great,

go to Manics. He's one of the cool kids and they were genuinely cool. Like that's the thing about cool kids. People are like, oh, are they cool together cooler than you? They are cool. It's not a thing they were much more fun to hang out with. Then, you know, my friends, so they invited me and we through eggs and we shaving cream stuff. Yeah.

Was this mischief night? Did you do this Halloween night? Halloween night, long island is my first, and I felt like, oh, I'm growing up because I'm with cool kids and we're throwing eggs and we're vandalizing stuff. This is what cool kids feel like you're in a movie. Like you've seen this before. I'm not trick-or-treating like a bitch. Sure.

I'm not walking around with a Frankenstein head and my mother. I'm out there defacing property with my friends. And that was it's an important night for every channel. I don't know what they do now. They might do gang initiation now. What do they do? Because they're still vandalizing or is that even that's like pussy now? I don't know.

Now they're like swatting each other and having the feds. On the other end of that, you know what they're doing? Like my nieces and nephews, they don't know. Now they're like swatting each other and having the feds on the other and that you know what they're doing like my nieces and nephews, they don't go door to door anymore. Oh, interesting. Trunk or treat. They call it. Oh, I don't like this. So fucking why it's corny as shit. It's during the day, like maybe the day before something leading up, they all drive to like the height, you know, the the football field in town. They parked their cars all around it, open up their trunks, decorate their trunks.

Now, why are they not going door to door? Is it because danger maybe? I don't know. Well, you know what's interesting? I think there's a COVID thing. A lot of people don't do it. So a lot of houses, you just knock, knock, knock. And nobody's out.

Yeah. People are like, we're not doing it. They're used to be only one or two of them. And that's that. See, that's like a, that's how you knew that was the creep in a neighborhood. Right. You never went by did they ever had Christmas decorations or Thanksgiving decorations. And they didn't do anything on Halloween. That's how you knew to stay away. So when you're doing that shit at the, at the football field,

night night, you got no, you got no judge drunk or treat. We fucking insane. I don't know what it for a decade. I'm telling you. And then pull up in a parking lot. Everybody in you like everybody backs their car into like a big you like a horseshoe shape. Yeah. And then you decorate the back. Some of the decorations for the back of your car. I don't like this. And then so it's safe. Everybody's parents are there. If I had children, I would look at that up. Yeah, that's up right now. Holy god. I'm rather my kids kidnapped. I'm rather my kids kidnapped for a couple of days. For a couple of days than this.

This ruins people's lives. Man. God. You gotta have Halloween, cause like you said, you gotta have that right of passage. That's what I do. There's gotta go from the costume to all of a sudden one year.

You have a sweatshirt on, maybe a mask, and you got the pillowcase. Once you cross over to the pillowcase, you didn't forget that was a life changing moment. It was a life changing moment for me because that didn't happen in a trunk or tree. And I don't like changing moment. You're not learning anything. It's something that happens when you're a teenager. You have to decide which kind of teenager you're going to be. Yes. A good one or a bad one.

I decided I was going to be a bad one. I didn't hurt people per se, but I stole money. I did drugs, you know, I lied. Sure. I cheated, you know, when I could in school. I didn't care about anything. My main goal from when I was 12 or 13 years old, about anything. My main goal from when I was 12 or 13 years old till, you know, when I was in my really mid 20s, but let's just say for the teen years, my main goal was to make myself happy.

And I liked marijuana cocaine, percussette, fight it in. I take a pill of morphine if you have it. I do a line of ketamine. I take an X to see. Scott parties with a little Mitsubishi symbol in it. I do a line of cataman. I take an X to see. It's got parties, dude. With a little Mitsubishi symbol in it. I would take a tab of acid. I take a little sugar cube of acid with the blotter, little red dot acid in it.

I would take an A. No, the first time I saw that. I'd take an A through shrooms. I'd smoke a Benson and a Hedges unfiltered. Like a gentleman. If we could steal it. If you get your hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. If we could, if we could steal it. If you get your hands on it. My hands on it.

My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it.

My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it.

My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My hands on it. My were the times. Those were the times. Life may not ever get better than that. What scares me now is the drugs are too intense to kids are dying. Because they can't have that fun that we had. They're dying now.

That little experimentation goes, it's quicker. It's a shorter road. They're doing fentanyl now. Yeah, it's crazy. Whatever it is now, they get to a point where it alters their light like like I remember running around Halloween throwing some bags doing some shaving cream, smoking a little wee stuff like that. Bad weed too.

Bad stems and seeds. Beats good. Yeah. Take, you know, or you take, you take, you do some psychedelics in your teen years. And I think, you know, that is okay. Yeah. I mean, not 12, but like if you're 17 or 18 and you and your buddies take some shrooms, that's when you do it.

It's why you do it that you got from the older guy that works at the restaurant that you work at, but you had to drive the restaurant. I would get it. There was a, there was a process. It was a process. These problems, Alvin, those are life skills. Yeah. I see a lot of people that don't grow up now.

Yeah. I see a lot of people that don't grow up now. I see a lot of people that don't grow up and it's weird emotionally. Meaning they'll have an apartment, they'll have money, they'll be able to pay their bills, but they're not emotionally growing up. They don't know anything about the world, they don't know anything about people and I go, how did that happen?

How did that happen? And I think technology is flattened everybody to the point where a lot of people's formative experiences are on the internet and they're not in real life with real people. You learned a lot about yourself disappearing into the suburban night with Johnny Manix. You're not kidding, you had fun, you had a good time

and you go, okay, we can't do too much crazy shit because we'll go to jail. And we can't fuck with these kids because they'll kill us. Yeah. And we got to learn to think like when me and my friend Shay went to his aunt Debs house in in Rockaway, breezy point. And we knew you know, you know, she was a fun woman. She like Fleetwood match. She enjoyed Sangria.

Sounds like a great lady. That's a combo. I mean, she's an Irish woman. She like to flip flop the Sangria and she like putting the keys in that car. Fire it up. She like starting that car. She had like a firebird. Something fun.

She like starting that car because you know what? Who's, you know, who's telling her what? No worries. You have a couple of cocktails. She likes, she like that descent and there's no room. And we just knew what we could get away, we knew what we could steal. So we would take some her absolute vodka.

She liked, she liked, she liked, well. And we would take some her absolute, we'd do a couple of drinks, and then we'd pour some water in it. Yeah. We do this, these are, you know what to do. And as long as that's not kept in the freezer, you're all right.

You're okay. You don't know kids today, Barrican, and her bathroom. But the gun still are car and go by heroin. Take her 401k. That's not what you do. That's too much. That's too much. You steal a little bit of booze. You get a little warmth. You go into the backyard. You do a Bernie. It's fun. People need to steal a little warmth, you're going in a backyard, you do a Bernie, it's fun. People need to steal a little bit. And what happened to that, everything now is like off to chain,

I'm take, I just stole my aunt's car, I'm selling it and I'm buying fentanyl. That's too much because you can't come back from that. I feel like those little, those little, those little steps of like, oh, I am this, I'm not that guy. I did that. That was a little too much. I'm not that guy or Tim did that. That was too, oh, I am this. I'm not that guy. I did that. That was a little too much. Right. I'm not that guy or Tim did that. That was too. Oh, I'm not. I'm not that guy. Like you learn. You got to be a little bit of a pussy. You got to keep yourself on a leash because the guys that aren't pussy's die. Yeah, that's true. We all know a guy who's like, dude, that's the toughest guy I've ever met and he's dead now. I know seven of them. Right. Right. Right. The legitimate child, thief, started out going through the hall closet

where the winter coats were picking what I've done. I've done five and a five. That's what the gentleman does. When you have a bunch of coats on a bed during Christmas, I would start calling dealers at 10 30 and I like, hello, she go. My rest is all. Yeah, they just checked in. They'll be out for a couple of hours. Come by. So to me, I think what we're losing is moderation. You're not wrong.

You're totally not wrong. Not going to, nobody's going to be a saint and you shouldn't be. There's nothing funner than doing the wrong thing in, you know, little doses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With some sort of caution, with some sort of wits about, you have like, all right, that, you know, and now there is no, it seems like there was always, in every high school class,

there was always five kids, 10 kids are like, oh, those kids are fucking nuts, they're the ones that are crazy, that end up dying or whatever. Now it's like half the class is that kid. It's like, that, those kids are fucking nuts. They're the ones that are crazy that end up dying or whatever. Now it's like half the class is that kid. It's like, that's why Thanksgiving, which is the last holiday we really haven't covered. But Thanksgiving to me, there's something important the night before Thanksgiving.

Sure. 100%. This is important. Here's what happens in my view, the night before Thanksgiving, when you go away, I didn't go away to college. I went to community college and then I dropped out, right? But I remember I had a friend who was really tight and he ended up going to community college, sticking with it and then going to Cornell, which is like a really good school.

And then George Washington University Law School. And I felt very deeply insecure because I was doing nothing with my life. You know what I mean? It's even doubt. But the point is the point, all right. The first, the first year you go back to that bar for me was the Black Thorn, your awful center. And you see all those guys that you were buddies with, you're still kind of in it. Oh, yeah. You're still in it that first year. But every subsequent year, it's a little... It diminishes.

Their face is blur around the edges. It's very interesting. That's why I think it's important the first few years after high school to go out. Yeah. That Wednesday night before Thanksgiving, because you should know what that feels like to start for the blurring to start. Yeah, for the separation for the, that's right. And you also come back and go, like I did the same thing, very similar upbringing, the suburbs, and then it was like, we'd go to the pub and you'd get there. And it was the guy who went straight

to the pub from high school. Yeah. And the guy who went to fucking Duke or whatever. You're a Harvard, right. And you all come back and you're like, oh, Steve, you had you've been at the pub all year. Right. We just came back to this. You're like, okay, I don't want to be Steve puts things in a perspective. Right. It's that little that you find out who you want to be and who you don't want to be. And then like as the group that the next year gets a little. If there's 10 guys, it comes to eight guys, then five got four and it's like, then it's just Steve and the other Steve's from the year prior years sitting there drinking beers. But it's also a little bit of a dog show, those first couple of years. Yeah, you're representing your peacock and a little bit, of course.

But then yeah, it does go downhill. Then the owners change to the bar. It's not the Ben Elbow anymore. Now it's called McGurks and they say that. McGurks is all right. I'm the owner. All right. Now it's called McGurks. And it's the same as that. Right. The Gurks is all right. I mean, the Gurks is all right. The owner's talking to you now like you're an adult. Yeah.

Do you? I knew I was an alcoholic when owners of bar started talking to me like an adult and telling me about problems they were having. And I'm coming here to get drunk with my friends. We're still like young. We're still in our late teens. We can't handle all of this. So to me, it's like those are important moments that you need to have as an adult to become a fully functioning adult. And I think the holidays and the activities around the holidays are important. And I just hope that there is a recognition of that

and that, you know, we don't lose everything to the digital world, you know? Yeah. Because the local bar is important. Very important. Very important. It's can't all be a club. It can't all be a DJ.

It can't all be what going to see a dip blow be. We're going to see a Diplo and Vegas respect to him. He follows me on Instagram. I know for the marathon. We don't care. Do the thing. I ran a marathon. What do my point is this? And marshmallow, but I don't want to start a beef with this other one. Marshmallow. I know that you're more famous in me. I don't know why, but I know that you do your whatever. At SW stake house right now, at the win lost Vegas, they are doing this. There's, which is one of my favorite restaurants, they have the Lake of Dream show, a singing cigarette smoking frog who sings New York, New York, while I eat the chili rub ribeye, which you got rid of, you shouldn't have, but whatever.

They are now serving a marshmallow cake, marshmallow, who is apparently has some residency at the win. Uh, lovely, lovely SW steakhouse. My favorite restaurant of Vegas, marshmallow has a residency at the win. They are serving a marshmallow cake with his dumb logo with the access for the eye. And it's the shape of that head he wears. Stop this. The marshmallow cake $40. Chris, I'm not going to say your name, but we know who you are.

$40, chocolate boost toasted marshmallow meringue. I'm a new routine. Number one, how dare you not send me one for free. Number two, stop it. It's grittat. You have a cake of your head that is not good for $40. Is it never enough? Can you talk to these people and say, please stop doing this, it's crazy. And meringue can kick rocks. Kick fucking rocks. Get at it here with that shit. But what I want to say, what I want to close on is,

what you're showing to me, and the reason why I love it, the reason why a lot of people love it, it's hilarious. Thank you. But more important than that to me, is that like whether you realize it or not, your chronicling history.

This is fucking huge. You really truly, I mean, I think that's a little long. We talked about mayonnaise and percussant, but that is history. Listen, there's going to be a time. There's going to be a time when you talk about a mayonnaise and perkus and sandwich. People are going to go, what's that? So, but no, it is true. It's like, I'm a big fan of inflating our importance to all of us.

But I listen to your show and I remember shit that's now lost. Yeah, sure. Yeah, shit that you, you lost. It's a chronicle of a time gone by. It's a time gone by that you'll, you know, I remember I used to hand at a barco Lisa's lounge. Fans of the show know this. It was named after a girl who died in a drunk driving accident.

Oh, I think they do a good mozzarella stick. Our father, you have no idea. Our father, our father put her picture in the middle of the bar and people would toast to her. They would go to Lisa. And then they would drink. And I asked this man, there was this crazy woman, Jen, who used to come in and she would say, I'm having the fire department over because we're having a big party and she put all these shaving dishes out.

And then nobody would come. And I would say to the bartender, I'd say, what's going on? And they go, Jen's mentally ill. She thinks she's having a party tonight. So we let her come here and have a fake party. And then this guy George would come in, who's it was kind of misshapen and deformed and they go, he lives in his car. He actually want to scratch off. This is true. He had a lot of money and then he got in with a hooker and then she spent all his money. He lives in his car and the only place he comes in to have a warm place is Lisa's lounge.

And then there were these, all these different people. And I said to this guy that opened this bar like, you know, what is this place? And he's like, I opened, you know, because it was this really weird place. I was like 22, 23, I should not have been there, right? And I was sitting there and there was a woman, Marge, who used to come in, who was old, she used to shit herself and people would try to take her out. It was like a great place, the Marge, you shit yourself, she got you. Fat at you, scream fat at you're all fat at it.

It was crazy. I told all these stories, it was all crazy. And he said, you know, I open this place so that people have a place to go, that don't have a place to go on a Christmas. That's awesome. That's amazing. And it really, and I used to think that was so funny. Like I used to be like, ha, ha, ha, ha, as you get older, as you get older and you look back on it. And it had great holiday lights, those three months, you know, I can smell the

place. December January. There was something really, and I remember hearing that and scoffing at it and being like, and it was just such a funny joke to tell you, describe all the crazy things that happened. And then the guy goes, you know, everyone's doing coke and drinking and he goes, I just a place that, but I will tell you this, I went there on Christmas one year. I was in like, you know, I was in a thing with my family and I wanted to go. Places like that are important, you know, for people. Of course, sure.

You know, it is like a weird thing that even though we make fun of them, and nobody wants that to be the case with their life. But then some people do end up in that situation. You know what I mean? Where it's like that's there. That's like an, yeah, that's like an institution of a play. It's like revolving door. It's like, Jenner who are marched there there every night. Yeah. You're there when you need it. It's like a crotch. You're there twice when you need it. But it's there when you fucking need it. And when you think about it, that's the place that every re went, no one, it wasn't Christmas.

I'll 360 days. That's what fed into the dip. And that's what fed into the family. She told everybody tomorrow, I'm not going to be here. And they said why? And then she said, I'm making my dip. I'm making the dip. I'm making my dip. So that's what fed it. I'm making my dip tomorrow. You'll see me Sunday. I'll be back. You'll see me Sunday. I'll see you Sunday.

Age fully Kevin Ryan, are you garbage podcasts on YouTube and Patreon? A podcast about history. This is like CBS, CBS Sunday morning. A podcast about time. The history of the American family. Our great would be if just I want to like CBS, CBS Sunday morning, a podcast about time. The history of the Americans family. Our great to be if just I want to see CBS Sunday morning, you guys on there, like two gentlemen talking about Cheetos and Baffness.

As the great Tim Dylan once said, we're quoting you. My mom would love that. As a podcast, they chronicle a time gone by a time when people smoked cigarettes inside of pizza. Oh, Andy Rooney shit. Yeah. A lot. Um, go see these guys Pittsburgh and prof helium buffalo. Uh, they're going to be in Toronto, Canada. Go see them at the Royal, go see them

in Michigan, go see them in Chicago. You guys get it. Four show added in four show added in Chicago. I mean, Chicago is my favorite theater in the country. Chicago is my favorite market to do. I was a great comedy town. It's kind of designed for us. The food, the people. I love the big city. Yeah. They're also in Minneapolis, Minnesota, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Sacramento, San Francisco, San Jose, Washington, DC, and of course, bringing it to a close in late December, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Yeah, ma'am. Yes, sir. Where you guys hail from. Yes. Very good. Who cares about my, I don't even care, don't come.

I was just saying, don't come, don't come. Who can, why won't I be able to stay home? The ARU garbage on Patreon, go subscribe to them on YouTube as well. You can get all my dates if you want timdellandcomedy.com or go on hard for the next few months that we're getting off the road in February and we've got all kinds of other stuff happening.

There's a thing that I can't talk about that's coming out in November that I'm not talking about. This ball will be really maybe fun, but it's not something that I'm talking about. And I stand in solidarity with Fran Drescher and the Guild. Good night. Goodnight.