The Tim Dillon Show - 365 - Degree Of Difficulty

Episode Date: October 14, 2023

Tim wades into the Israel-Hamas War, college students showing their true selves, celebrities walking back support, ‘the best you can do’ and how peace in the Middle East may involve the Midwest. American Royalty Tour 🎟 https://www.timdilloncomedy.com/ Pre-Order ‘Death By Boomers’ By Tim Dillon 👉 https://rb.gy/gafn4 SPONSORS: Morgan & Morgan: For more information go to forthepeople.com/tim Shipstation Get a 60-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/timdillon ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch:  https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan show. This is a, this is a tough one this week. This is not the easiest one to do. This is a high degree of difficulty. The routine, uh, if you ever watched the gymnastics in the summer Olympics, when they go the routine that, uh, she will be attempting this evening has a high degree of difficulty. She's stumbled many times during practice. She has a lot of maneuvers in there. She's unfamiliar with and she had some real trouble. She had real trouble during practice.

Let's see if she's worked those kinks out. That's that's what we got today, because we've had a week. And no matter what I say about anything today on this show, somebody's gonna be upset that I didn't say more, or I said the wrong thing, or I mean something different than what I said, or I don't have the facts. And if I had the facts, I'd think differently. There's no way to avoid that.

I'm one of the greatest minds of our time. And watching me in real time, put this together is gotta be one of the greatest joys in what I imagine is a horrible life that you live on the other end of that camera. I don't know. I'm guessing some of you are doing fine, but a lot of you, let's be honest. And watching the mental dexterity, me just jumping into it, you know, no script, no talking

points. Barry Weiss, by the way, was supposed to come and do the show and dead ghosts me at the last minute because it's been a very bad week for Israel. I think it's been a good week for her career, not for her, because I like Barry and I know it's a horrible week for everyone that's Jewish and everyone that's been Jewish or no, so when is Jewish, I get it. Uh, but she's in demand. That's what I'm saying. Do you see this is a high degree of difficulty.

I'm still on the balance beam. I swayed a little bit. You thought I was gonna, but I'm still on it. Um, but no, she's in demand. It's not a good week for her. Somebody mean what I mean is that a lot of people are calling her probably that far exceed the, you know, reach that I have, for example, even though my reach is incredibly large. And she would be honored to be here and should have texted me back. But I'm not mad at her

because I understand that it is tough. but now here's what she gets. I'm going to do it on my own. I have my own ideas and I am going to go with that now. She had the chance to come and speak her piece. Well, we'll start called the Bible. And no. As anybody, everybody now knows, there was a horrific attack in Israel, Hamas, which is a terrorist group.

They're running Gaza, but they can't do that well. They're not good at that. They're proven that they're not bad at terrorism. That's what they're good at, but they're not. They can't run Gaza, which is there, you know, which is the, I told you folks, this is it. This is, you've never seen anything like this. How impressed are you already?

You've never even been in a room with someone capable of doing anything like what you're about to see. Hamas is a terrorist organization that was actually formed somewhat funded by Israel because Israel was trying to funded by Israel because Israel was trying to discredit some more of the moderate factions of the PLO, and which is the Palestine liberation organization. So Israel was kind of funding a monster way that we funded funded Al Qaeda when it was the Mujahideen against the Soviets in Afghanistan. We built that. So it's often these things happen, right? When you feed, you know, there are two wolves inside of you.

Which one do you feed? And when you feed something, it can grow. There can be unintended consequences. So Hamas is this terrorist group and we all have some varying degree of familiarity with Hamas. They are not the Palestinian people. They are not representatives of the Palestinian people. They are terrorists whose goal is the erasure of Israel. They don't want it to exist. They from the blank to the sea, whatever, from the, you know, that's the slogan.

Again, Barry Weist, just not here. So I'm doing all I can do. I'm not, I, from what, I got a lot of stuff I got to do. I have a lot of projects going on. I'm devoting my time to this. So I'm not going to have every eye, you know, dotted. And the point is, from the, what is the quote? From the something to the sea.

It's the quote they always say, which means that there'll be no Israel, it'll just be Palestine. From the river to the sea, they don't want Israel to exist. Hamas, it's not like they want a two-state solution. They're not like trying to coexist. They are, they want to eradicate Israel. And I don't think that's controversial. You know, I think they would admit that.

I think they kind of open about that. And then you see this crazy attack. They are murdering women and children and elderly people and concert goers that were at a music festival and horrible ways. You know, it's this situation over there has made both sides see each other as less than human. And the only way that you can do what Hamas did to people is if you see them as less than

human in the same way that if a Palestinian teenager, whatever gets shot in the West Bank or in Gaza by, uh, and Israeli security guard, a shot in the West Bank or in Gaza by an Israeli security guard and member of the military and they just kill somebody and call blood. The only way you can really do that, the wanton slaughter of people is if you see them as less than human, which is when you see stuff like that, because we're soft. I'm pretty soft now. I don't encounter things like that ever, like in my real day-to-day life, like that type of violence, that type of even hatred, that type of desperation. I did when I, when I, when I was broke, I was around a lot of people, or when I was doing drugs, I knew a lot of people who were desperate and more violent,

you know, because that comes with the territory of being a drug addict. That being said, to live a life like I live and most of my friends live where we entertain people, we make people laugh, we eat, we drink, we make merry, we have our problems or whatever, but when you see the vicious assault on infants, on women, on children, it's unbelievable. It's unfathomable that anyone could do that to anyone else. And that's what Hamas did. They had this attack. It was, there's now conflicting reports

of whether Iran knew about it or was caught by surprise. If Iran was funding it with the $6 billion that they got in the Iran deal, um, nobody knows. People are still seemingly pretty vague about like what Iran knew and didn't know. Iran supports Hamas, Hezbollah, which is a militia in Lebanon. And so people are trying to put that together. So we all wake up. This is a last Saturday to this crazy fucking, I don't even do an episode. I go release the episode that we had in the can with the guys from R U garbage from my adore. That was gonna get held till I was in Australia. I'm leaving for Australia tonight.

I'm in California right now. Today is Wednesday, just in case something happens tomorrow. I just, you wanna be when things like this happen, you wanna be clear about what you're saying and when. So I just said, I woke up and I'm like, I really can't go in there and make any type of joke about this. It's in human. I had to wait a few days to even process

and understand what was happening. And so, you know, I'm just watching all this stuff happen and it's, And so, you know, I'm just watching all this stuff happen and it's, uh, my, and so now, of course, Israel is, you know, it's a war. They've declared war. And they're now, you know, bombing Gaza. And now there is probably a humanitarian crisis on the other end, whereas Gaza civilians are dying as well, just like Israeli civilians

died. This is war. This is what happens. This is ugly. And so I a few thoughts because I'm watching the reactions to this on social media. And the first thought that I had was that it was very interesting. By the way, to say people like Amy Schumer or these other celebrities finally start going like, well, these colleges are a little liberal. These colleges are a little woke, huh? Because all over American colleges now, they're doing kill the Jews everywhere from Yale to Harvard to Tufts where those guys were on paragliders going over the border into Israel and then just shooting people randomly. And the kids at Tufts University were like, well, that's kind of creative.

They were like, that's pretty smart. And those are things you say in your dorm. You don't say them out, but you don't, but they're saying them in like law reviews. They're writing them down and pieces of paper that people can look at years from now. Like, you know, I think the NYU came out and was like all of the violence that's going on is we laid on the doorstep of Israel. This is all of these colleges are now saying, hey, decolonize. What do you think it looks like? What do you think it means? It means a couple of infants get killed, couple of women are children get killed.

And this is really taken and black lives matter, by the way, put up a get this up, they put up like a meme. And they, this is not even a thing they had to make this. They have a meme and this is not even a thing they had to make this. They have a meme of a paragraph of a guy in the power glider thing going, I stand with Palestine, now you have to remember this is on the day or maybe the day after that the news broke where you were seeing the most vicious, horrific scenes you've ever witnessed really.

I mean, really, really bad. Now I'm not saying that there aren't other things happening that are just as bad or that if you looked, you could find them. I'm not, I'm not a naive moron. You guys know that. You've listened to this show, but this is in your feed, you wake up, you got the French toast in your mouth and you're like, God, it was crazy. Black Lives Matter Chicago goes and tweets that, that is all that is it.

And it's I stand with Palsy and I've got to be, now all these celebrities had been duped for years. All you had to realize, all you had to know is know what a con is. I knew Black Lives Matter was a con because I knew, I know what cons are. I worked in a subprime mortgage office, I know what cons are. I know the look and the smell and the shape of a con.

A con is pretty identifiable if you know one or if you've seen one or if you've pulled one. And I knew exactly what that was. It was this very, for example, do black lives matter? Look the way you say everybody goes, yeah, like of course, like who's saying no, right? So but then when you did the tiniest amount of research into it, it's run by these four women. They're all a vowed Marxist, meaning that they don't believe in anything that people, you know, purport to believe in in this country. They think the nuclear family should be abolished

and eradicated in favor of every the government socially engineering and managing everybody's life. That was on the BLM website front page, but none of these celebrities went there. None of them looked into any of the information themselves. None of them knew that that bitch stole four houses, and I'm, I'm for that. But that bitch bought a bunch of houses with the money that should have went to people's families who died with in, in, in, in shootouts with the police. So this, it's always been a scam. And the things that they've believed, they've

concealed them with a very like friendly, you know, and non-controversial fucking, you know, whatever you want to call it, logo, which was like black lives matter. Now the mask is kind of off. They're tweeting, we're with Hamas, essentially, you know, I stand with Palestine. Now you can stand with Palestine. The idea that they should have a state, the idea that you should have a two state solution, the idea that the settlements are crazy, the, I'm going to go into that in a minute. But the idea that you would tweet this the day after, and now all of these celebrity, and I know

some of these people and, and, and again, they're, they're genuinely befuddled. They're confused. They don't, they don't get it. They, I, I immediately get, I'm shocked. They did that. I wouldn't, I don't know who with the meeting said, let's tweet that. But immediately I'm like, Hey, you didn't know what they believed? You didn't know what they really thought, but these people did it. So they're all these people now, like I just saw Jessica sign-fledged an Instagram post

and I was like, these universities are lab brawl. And I'm like, oh, Kalo Jordan Peterson, welcome to reality. Like welcome to the reality that most people live in. Anybody that pointed out that college kids had gone a little nuts over the past four years was harangued by these people. They were called a boomer, out of touch, a racist, a white supremacist, a xenophob, a transphob, a homophob. All of these people were like, if you can't get on board with college kids,

they're always right. Every single person I know was writing college. When, when have they ever been wrong? Oh, my comedian friends on Twitter, my writer friends that now live intense, they were going, when, where college kids ever wrong, they're always on the right side of history. Why don't you get with them? And now the college kids are literally in college going, kill the Jews, kill the Jews. And now all of these people, they gave these organizations money. This is a little embarrassing, huh?

Awkward. It's a little strange. All these people in real time, they're having like this weird awakening moment, where they're like, Oh, okay. Because remember how simple everything was during 2020. How simple and easy it was. It was the wrong side of history and the right side of history.

Part of the problem, part of the solution took a page out of the bush doctrine, good or evil with us are against us. Now people are starting to go, wait a minute. These, these college kids are a little out of control. They're a little out of control. Again, this says nothing about the political reality of the situation, which is not good. Very difficult folks. You can see right now on the floor exercise, what Mr. Dylan excels at is artistry. He's the artistry of what he does. Sometimes is more than the technical

and sometimes the judges actually give him some points for that. He's actually puts on a real show for the crowd. He puts on a real show for the crowd and you can see the crowd getting into it. He hasn't really completed the same type of technical feats that other people have, but he really puts on a show for the crowd. And he reminds him that he is a performer. Israel is the problem with Israel kind of has always been. They've never been like, Hey, here are the borders. Here's where we're at. They

they kind of have always been a little cute with their borders. They expand, they build settlements, they go into areas where Palestinians can take deeds out and go, I've owned this property. I've owned this land. I've been here forever and they invict Palestinians and Palestinians are now homeless and they're impoverished. And this is a huge problem and a lot of people are against this. And unfortunately, it doesn't seem like America, we give Israel a ton of money, but we don't hold them to account.

Like we don't demand certain things of them. We have the past, Bush one did a little bit, like there are times when we have said, listen, we need to, the idea of a two-state solution, the idea of like, he said, but what we really do is we give him a lot of money and then kind of look the other way and go, do whatever you want. And they expand the saddle, you know, they expand the borders of Israel, these settlements, the saddle, you know, they expand the borders of Israel, these settlements and, and, and whatnot. And this, this, this, this Gaza strip that Palestinians live in under this, this siege, this blockade occupation, whatever you want to call it, they're living in this. I, it's an incredibly densely populated region where you cannot get a lot of things in

that you would need to survive. They cannot leave. They're not allowed to leave. Like one of the things Netanyahu was like, well, the civilians, I'm telling you now to leave this. We're going to bomb you. You got to leave. Where are they going? Where are they going? Palm Beach? Where are they going to go? They can't go anywhere. Where are they going to go? There's nowhere for them to go. Now, I'm not saying Israel? There's nowhere for them to go. Now, I'm not saying Israel doesn't have a right to defile, if that happened anywhere in America,

we'd be doing what they're doing. But the other thing I wanted to comment on was, as soon as this happened, and now I've seen all these people's statuses and they're like, we remember the silence to people who were silent. And you go, well, what, wait a minute, hold on. Hold, wait, hold the phone, a minute. What do you want me to say? What do you really want people to say? Is it

really going to defend itself, no matter what I say? There's, they don't need me, they don't need Instagram comments to defend themselves. They're gonna go do that. They're gonna do whatever they want. And I understand, after a heinous attack like that, there's justification for what they do now. Now, what they do and how far it goes, you can evaluate whatever. But there's this whole idea that everybody needs to speak up and be heard

and be counted. You don't know what people are going to say. Listen, let people stay quiet. It's actually good. Even if they agree with you, if people agree with you, still have them shut up, they might hurt your cause. They might hurt your cause. They might hurt your cause. I've seen a lot of pro Israel people not help. Recently, I checked in, I check on all the social media sites, see what's going on. And I know a lot of my long Island friends are like, they should just genocide of all over

here. And it's like, that's just a helping. But they're pro-Israel. So the people that agree with you sometimes are often the people you wanna go, shh. Shh. You don't need everybody standing up and talking. We know, listen, nobody's outside of your kids at college. Nobody's applauding this at time, and some people are. You know, but even Gigi Hedede said, no, she goes, I'm not like, can you get Gigi Hedede or Bella Hedede? Get

one of the Hedede statements up because it was actually very nice. She did a great job. My thoughts are with those, it's too long. Here's my point. I'm not doing this. She's saying, hey, you can't do it. But she's also saying she's kind of doing what I'm doing. You know, but I'm doing it in a better way, I think. But she's saying, hey, that's what she's saying. That in a word, that's what you say. That in a word, that's what you say.

It's a three-paragraph thing, but if it had to be a tone, it would be this, hey, hey, it would start up and then go down. There would go be like, hey, and it would have the guttural ending. I'm like, ugh. You know, I don't know, listen, so you have now a situation where everybody on social media is like,

we will remember the silence of you. And you go, good, please, because the talking is no good. That's not going to help your case. This is a, like, listen, and then people are like, well, it shouldn't be complicated. Well, I understand that, but it is. Everything is complicated. Nothing is not complicated.

Yes, is stabbing a woman in her face complete? No, that's bad. Now we're in a debate of whether the infants really got beheaded. There's no evidence that the infant Scott beheaded. Yeah, there is evidence that the infant Scott beheaded Joe Biden. So they got me a hat on. No, they were just killed. Nobody beheaded them.

Well, actually, as you see, the blood splotter patterns, it's consistent with the beheaded. No, no, it's no one got beheaded. It's like an Iraq when they said babies weren't in Cuba. And this goes on all day. Adna, these are the people you want speaking up. These are the people you want talking to people who were in a 50 paragraphs on whether the kids got beheaded or not. That's where we are.

And if they are beheaded, why it was kind of maybe a little necessary, well, the beheadings may have happened, but what? So these are all the people that you want adding their voices to the great chorus. adding their voices to the great chorus. The last thing you want is people talking about this. Shhh, quiet down. Quiet down. Especially Israel, because they're gonna have to go in there. They're good to do a little stuff in there now, Gaza. They're gonna get what?

Now this is awkward for me. The man who planned this whole thing Daeath get him up. I think his name is Muhammad. I don't know if his last name is Daeath they call him the guest he's the head of Hamas he's the head of Hamas and he is a He's like a the comb of the ghost the guest the ghost whatever the ghost because he's they can't get him. Muhammad daif.

Secret of Hamas commander known as the guest is Israel's prime target in this war. This is a guy they have not been able to find forever. Forever over the past two decades, Israel has tried to assassinate Muhammad Daif several times, naming him an attacks and killing his wife and baby son. The commander of the armed wing of Hamas on Saturday inflicted in return, one of the deadliest ever Palestinian blows on Israel. The brutality of the attacks by Isad Din Al-Khassam Brigade directed by Daif have shocked even hardened Israelis militants, mode down revelers that a music festival murdered entire communities and people on the Gaza border. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. We know that.

There's little doubt though that Da'eath is now in the crosshairs of the Israelis on Wednesday. Israeli airstrikes hit the home of one of his family members, killing his brother and his brothers wife and children according to Palestinian media reports and people in Gaza. A spokesman for Hamas didn't respond to a request for comment. In the end, we will get not only him, but the entire leadership of Hamas. So they're going after this guy. He's and I'm not even saying this.

He's renting my house in Austin and has been for literally eight months and is a, and it's in him actually a good tenant to a point where I'm, I don't know if I'll call. I don't know if I'll call because he's actually been fine. He mows the gratt, like he's, he's actually, he's a man of faith. He's quiet. No, I don't, I don't, uh, I don't know if they'll get him, but that's who they want. He's the guy that planned this whole thing. They'll probably get him.

They're going to get everybody. So it's an ugly reality now where the, you know, is anyone ever going to be able to peacefully live over there together next to each other, two state solution, anything. Is anybody ever going to be able to live over there in a way that people can, you know, just, is it ever, ever, ever going to happen? I, you know, maybe it will, maybe it will, but it looks like this is kind of a line in the sand here, where it's going to get increasingly difficult. And this war, we're only a few days in.

More stuff's going to happen. So I mean, they're calling for this Hamas day of G-Hod on October 13th. I'll tell you one thing to save American colleges. Nobody is killing those kids. That's a little Hamas over there and Duffs. These kids just want to be cool. They're weird asexual free. They take pills all day and then they see these guys on paragliders going in and killing people and these kids are like, fuck, I just want to do something. That's the problem. And finally, people are starting to realize that like,

what they are teaching in college. Not, this is again, it's not about, per se, Palestine, or is it, but what they are teaching about like, what is tolerable and justifiable violence is wild. And people are now kind of just coming around to that. This idea that during, you know, the 2016 election, it was called punch and Nazi punch anyone that disagrees with you. Find somebody who disagrees with you.

You can attack them. Words of violence, respond and con. Respond with violence. Conservative speaker shows up on campus. You don't like that try to kill him You know, I mean they're the bench Shapiro all these little guys bench Shapiro's like 120 pounds Soking wetty walks into a room and the entire college Of people is trying to kill the guy and this was and then people on the left said this is okay

Well, where do you think these kids got these fucking ideas? people on the left said, this is okay. Well, where do you think these kids got these fucking ideas? Somebody goes to a college to speak and they're allowed to go and physically intimidate them and threaten them and attack them violently and everybody in the media goes, well, that's good. And then something like this happens and everybody's shocked that these kids think

this is a great thing, that this is actually a justifiable thing to slaughter people like this. You know, yes, so everybody, October 13th, they're saying is the day, I don't know what, I don't know what, I don't know what, it was funny, there's an article about Hamas, but if you scroll down, there's actually, about Hamas, but she scrolled down. There's actually, it says, master the steps to grow your career as a CFO.

And then it says leadership, vision, confidence, management, strategy, teamwork. And I'm like, if Hamas is that organized, like I was like, if Hamas is actually that organized, where they're like, vision, confidence, management. But they're gonna recruit people. This is gonna be a global recruitment campaign. I'm just hoping I'm a fan of less death, less war, less death, some type of negotiation,

cooler heads prevailing eventually. I understand that Israel's got to goailing eventually. I understand that Israel's got to go and respond. I understand that. But also we do have to think long game here. You know what, what's, uh, what is this going to end up being? This is a region that is never going to be peaceful. It will never be peaceful for as long as we're on earth, it's probably going to be a volatile, combustible region forever. It's just a matter of how volatile, how combustible is it going to spill over into a world war? Some people are like, well, maybe Russia is trying to get Iran to debate the US and

will war. Trust me, a war is the best thing for our economy, you know, he's has been. So anybody thinking that, I mean, I know people on Twitter writing that, people who think they know anything. I don't think Russia had to bait China. I can be wrong, but I don't know if Russia had to bait Iran into funding Hamas, who's been doing it for years, or I didn't know if they've, if Russia had to bait Hamas into doing something that I believe they've been planning for years and wanted to do for years and finally had the opportunity to do it. A lot of people that knew an article just came out in the New York Times about why Israel security system

failed. This is one of the most secure places, supposedly on the planet. And everybody's like, why the hell didn't this work? You know, Israel's military and espionage services are considered among the world's best, but on Saturday, operational and intelligence failures led to the worst breach of Israeli defenses in half of the century. When anything like this happens, people immediately start thinking, is it a false flag in the sense? Not, is it a false flag, but was it allowed to happen? Was this allowed to happen? I don't know anything. I'm not suggesting that.

I'm saying when something so good fails, people start going, hey man, what? Why? Surely before attackers from Gaza port into Israel at dawn on Saturday, Israeli intelligence detected a surge in activity on some of the Gaza militant networks at monitors, realizing something unusual was happening. Agent said that alert to the Israeli soldiers guarding the Gaza border, according to two senior Israeli security officials. But the warning wasn't acted upon either because the soldiers didn't get it or the soldiers didn't get it or their soldiers didn't read it. Shortly afterward, Hamas, the group that controls Gaza,

sent drones to disable some of the Israeli military cellular communication stations and surveillance towers along the border, preventing the duty officers from monitoring the area remotely with video cameras. The drones also destroyed remote controlled machine guns that Israel had installed on its border fortification, removing a key means of combating a ground attacks. This is a very well planned well executed attack.

That made it easier for Hamas to sound to approach and blow up parts of the border fence and bulldoze it in several places with surprising ease, allowing thousands of Palestinians to walk through the gaps. These operational failures and weaknesses were among a wide array of logistical and intelligence lapses by the Israeli security service that paved the way for the gods and incursion into southern Israel according to four senior Israeli security officials who spoke on the condition of anonymity in order to discuss a sensitive matter and their early assessment of what went wrong. So they had a good day. This is a Hamas having a good day. It all worked, you know, I mean, truly, that's what it is. It worked, you know, they had all these ideas and they didn't know if

these things were going to work, but they actually worked. And it was obviously a bloody and terrible day. But for them, you know, you know, when you are trying to pull off something on this level, the fact that all of these things happened and you didn't hit a snag anywhere, is somewhat impressive. So now Israel's retaliating, let's look at the Gaza Strip right now. Do you have a live Gaza Strip?

Do you have anything alive we can pull up, see where, because the Gaza Strip is not doing well, Israel's pounding it obviously, because they are now trying to take out Hamas leadership, but you know, they're gonna take out a bunch of people anyway. There's gonna be a lot of civilian casualties, a lot of kids. Which is hard. This is this is the tough part.

You know, this is the part that everybody, even the staunch supporters of Israel should, you know, have said like, let, you know, is there a safe passage to Egypt for some of the refugees here is our way to get them out of harm's way because nobody can be happy about the murder of women and children. And, you know, one thing about military age men, still not great. You still have to examine your head if you really thrilled about the death of anybody. But when you're about the death of anybody. But when you're celebrating the deaths of the elderly or women or children or infants,

there's something very sick. You've dehumanized your enemy, which is what has happened here for a very long time. And I don't, and here's what I will say, and this is unfortunate, and people are not gonna be happy with this, but I do, I don't think that's one sided. I don't think the dehumanization is one sided. I think both of these people see each

other as less than human. And I see them both as less than human because I'm a white Christian man. We are the ones who win. No. But what I'm saying is get the Christians back in, please, and get them all out. Get them all out. The Christians are coming back. My sad aunt and her husband, they're going to the Holy Land because they respected. They're not going to do what the Palestinians do. They're not going to stone gays. And they're not going to do what these rallies do.

Do a bunch of tech startups and then not let me host the Daily Show What my aunt not gonna do is gonna walk around the cave of the whatever and they're gonna fucking eat Charros or you know whatever hummus or whatever the hell Let the Christians back in here, okay? Because apparently they need to come back Because Okay? Because apparently they need to come back because both of you know God. No good. I was thinking about going to Israel and now I'm not even going to go.

I was thinking about doing a trip next summer and I wanted to go to Gaza too. You know me. I wanted to go everywhere. I could be one of those shakes. Ray looks like the blindshaked. Well, the eye from 9-11. But, but my point is that maybe, and I know there's Christians that live there, but I don't mean them. I mean, middle-American Christians, give it to them. Give it to like the Sarah Palin types, you know, the people that live in the middle of America, get them and put them there.

And they're not going to have this problem. They're just going to do dumb shit. They're going to get fat. They're going to take cruises. They're going to commercialize the fuck out of it. Not in a successful way like Israel, but in a gross way like they've done to Orlando. Let them do that. Let them do that. Let them do that. The Palestinian little children would love my aunt and uncle.

They would walk around the Gaza strip with pretzels and feed them like a petting zoo. And it would be nice. My aunt would look phenomenal in a burka. so what her husband. And because this I'm a little to be honest with you, I'm a little fed up with everybody. I'm a little mad with every, I'm more mad at Hamas now because they're being nuts now, but I'm a little fed up with everybody. I think it's high time that the Christians come back. How about that and bring our food like pork and pasta? What about the Romans? Romans coming back because we do though, we need the Vatican needs to come back here and and and and whip this planet back in shape.

If the Vatican would just get involved, they're closing up on something now, I wonder what's about to happen. This is great, you're watching people get bombed, this is crazy, and then there's gonna be an ad for Trabani flips. In the middle of this, there's gonna be an ad. They're gonna be like, do you like yogurt on the go? Trabani's not only fun and flavorful,

it's chocolate probiotics. And then you're gonna go, oh, it's good. And then you get a turnaround and then they're going to just, it's gonna be like hospital school. And it makes it, watching this stuff, fucks your head up. It's really, it's really, really terrible.

And it's not something that is really avoidable unless you really are going to be crap. Like, imagine the people that don't even know this is going on. They're the real crazy people. They're like, what are you talking about? Like, what do you think is going on in the Middle East? They're like, what? The what?

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station. And 98% of companies that stick with ship station for year become customers for life. Say your business up for holiday season success with ship station. Go to shipstation.com and use the code Tim Dylan today and sign up for your free six a day trial that shipstation.com code T I M D I L L L O N. What are the celebrities saying? Where are they on this? Which one?

Where all of them? What do you mean which ones oh no a snap chimed in I know he's a sweet guy. I Feel bad. What do you want you know folks? I? Got fans everywhere. I got fans on the strip You don't think anybody's paving that patreon on the strip I Got people on the strip? I got people on the strip. God's the strip. But I also have people at Tel Aviv.

No, it's not. It was a lovely statement. He said, we're all, we all got to stop with, you know, we are, we call it's all a version of be nice. We should all be nice. He's a sweet guy. What's he going to say? You know, he's, you know, his family's there.

He goes, area's fun. Me and Khalifa, the porn star is out there and you know, getting a pussy and a paraglider. I mean, it's... A lot of them are putting out statements and then retracting them like the one I did on my Instagram that was really funny, which is like literally this is the way celebrities talk.

Go to my Instagram page, because this is what celebrities, when they talk, this is what they sound like, because literally not all celebrities, some of them are quite smart, but a lot of them are incredibly dumb. And you don't know how dumb they are. You would lose faith in everything immediately if you knew how dumb people were.

But there exists an apparatus of people to prevent you from ever finding out how dumb they are. That's the thing. Everyone thinks they're evil and some of them are, but a lot of them are just dumb. Like, finding out a few of them are evil is people live with that. They go, yeah, yeah, they're so they're diabolical. Okay. But finding out how genuinely stupid a lot of them are, they're so rich and so successful. But I mean, God, are they fucking dumb? That would disturb me. That would bother the more.

And this is the way they talk, and this I kind of parodyed this. I've been thinking a lot about the events of the last few days, and I am disgusted by the hatred. I believe in love, and that we need love, because love is what makes life worth living. So to the people who hate, I say, maybe just love, and maybe the stars will shine just a little bit brighter

because that's what love does. It makes the stars remind us of how beautiful they are and the oceans and forests too. And all the living things, and I'm sorry I posted those five other reactions my team took down. This is what I meant to say. I like oceans. Thank you.

That's what, that's the mind you're dealing with with a lot of these celebrities, but a lot of them have, you know, to their credit started to realize. Now, for example, the Palestinians that are surrounding the Sydney Opera House, going gas to Jews, guess who's not allowed to perform the cineopras. Hi, hi, Diana. How are you? Oh, it's good. Welcome back here. Come come here and sit in your Beverly Hills little mug you like. Let me tell you a story. Okay, Diana. All right. But I'll have a few things to say about Israel and pal, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's not, I don't think I said, no, no, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you say bad stuff about the Ukraine war, kind of yes. But you know who they let, you know who they let outside? All the Palestinians chanting gas the Jews. Oh wow, that's interesting.

So you were allowed to prevent, by the way, people think that I've had a total mental column, you know, if they watch this, like if they want, like if, by the way, if you watch this, you think this is a guy that's had a total mental cloud. I'm actually here's what's crazy. I'm very successful. That's actually more distra I'm like incredibly successful at this dumb thing I do. But this literally if you just saw this like if someone walks in here, they would go this guy's totally lost and I kind of have, but they wouldn't, you know, my point is that they got the Palestinians or who I'm not blaming them. I don't know who's

over there, but they're in Sydney screaming gas to Jews outside of the opera. They will not even let me perform at the opera house. Okay. What were they chanting? Gas to Jews. Yeah. Hey, what were they chanting? Gastajews, yeah. Gastajew, now here's what's ironic. My one man show that I'm doing is called Gastajews. That's the name of the... You're not going to get away with jokes like that forever. I don't know anymore, folks. I'm just telling you what I'm,

what I'm, where I'm at with everything. The kids and colleges have gone insane. They are fetishizing violence. They're justifying anything this, we're on stolen land shits, gotta stop. A lot of countries were founded in ways that were not, you know, how everyone would call it ideal. That doesn't mean they don't have a right to exist.

It does mean perhaps I can't expand and continually evict people. I agree with that. But Israel has a right to exist, like the United States has a right to exist. This war on stolen land is the dumbest I'm about to leave America go to Australia. We're literally every time the plane lands in law. Welcome to Sydney. And we lock to give a whatever they say they look. We lock to acknowledge the past, present, future, guardians of the land.

Intention and you go, hey, got it. Well, you cut it to fuck out. Cut it out. Cut him checks. Stop with his horseshit. Cut them, checks. Cut them, checks. Give him casinos, give him museums. Whatever you want to do, don't make him live in a nightmare situation. But stop. No one's giving the land back. Stop with the stolen land, dummies. The dumbest people in the world go run stolen land. Yeah.

Most of us are It's the dumbest thing ever that fucking fat white women say when they've run out of things to say they're Stolen land Yeah, so and you're gonna leave I'm just saying these guys got to figure it out They got to figure it out. They got to figure it out. I'm not going to be. You're not going to find someone

as articulate as me. You know what I mean? You're just usually someone's just gonna go start killing people. But what I'm offering is the third way, the way of the talk, the speaking. I'm offering the, you know, sort of the, you know, just kind of fireside chat where everybody can figure it out. And this is murder. It's not, you know, we cannot call this anything else, right? We cannot, we cannot say that this is some type of people messaging me with everybody's got a problem.

We cannot excuse this. We don't have to agree with the government of Israel. You can't excuse the behavior. That's, you know, if you go to Tufts University, you fucking pussy. You can, who's never been in a fistfighting your life, you cannot cannot excuse the behavior in the same way That you cannot also long for an unending, you know war and Gaza that kills all of the people that live there You can't I understand revenge is what people want. I don't understand that for a brief period that's gonna happen the security system You know is necessary to sure that up. It's necessary to diminish Hamas' ability to do this again. We all get it.

But, you know, you have to, yeah, tough students for Justice and Palestine group is ripped for obscene comments about Hamas' terrorist attacks in Israel. Well, it's a lot of Jewish people that give these schools money. You know who's not giving Harvard money? My mom and dad.

You know who's not giving Yale money or NYU money? My family. So all the Jewish people that give these motherfucking people money, maybe put your wallet back in your pants. How about that? At my work? Because there's not going to be that's who you're getting the money from. You know, not getting it from

me. I dropped out of community college as you may have noticed by this 45 minute, up and down rent. What he's done here with this routine, which is kind of really just a technical thing that he does. He's spaced out these maneuvers quite far from each other, so it really gives the judges a chance to enjoy each one of them on its merits. A lot of people put them together so they think it kind of get them over with, but what he does is he does one and then takes a while to just kind of throw it to a little bit of a crowd pleasing dance before he does another. It's a riskier move, but he seems more comfortable that way.

I'll tell you this, folks. I have no wish for anyone to be harmed. And that's the thing. I have a lot of Jewish friends that are beside themselves. And I know a lot of people that take a different, you know, they have a different view of the crisis over there because they're Muslims or Arab and they've grown up with entire different education. And, you know, there's not going to be a solution here that anybody thinks about right now.

What we should prevent is a nuclear war. We should prevent a nuclear war. We should prevent World War III, a larger war. We should prevent innocent people getting killed on either side. We should try to envision uh, you know, what we can do to make that region less volatile, but it doesn't see it doesn't with the being honest with you. You're my audience. I'm going to be honest. I don't think it's ever going to work. I don't think it's ever going to work. Like I don't know if you bring in all these people from all over the world into America

that have all these different cultures, some of them are gonna assimilate and respect Western culture, some of them will not. And you're gonna have to deal with that and they're gonna be chanting death to this one and death to that one. And you know, it's just not much you're gonna be able to do if you bring in all of these different cultures with the hope

that some of them are going to assimilate because cultures have assimilated in the past. That seems to be the hope, but then some of them get a chance to choose outside of the opera house. So everybody that says, well, if we said one thing about immigration, if people said, well, immigration might have some negatives,

every person, every celeb, every left shit live on Twitter was like, what do you mean you nuts, you scum? And they were like, no, everybody comes to these places for the same reason. They could be because their daughter wants to be barbed like. And then fast forward, those some of those people are chanting gas to Jews outside of a opera house. Are they being good Australians? Is that it's it hasn't been a stellar week for multiculturalism? It just hasn't been. It doesn't mean there can't be a better week.

There can be some good weeks. This has not been a great week for Muldergate. Does it mean that it's a completely doomed project? It means that you're just going to live with some level of it not working out quite as well as you thought. It's like a marriage. It's just not gonna work out quite as well as you thought because when you're high and you're just tweeting and you're like, everyone's coming to my country to listen to my count, which is what all these people thought.

Everybody thought everybody was coming to a day you wanna see you too at the sphere, just like we do. And then some of them actually just wanted to go and just chant, gas to juice. That's what some of them wanted to do. Was there, was there, was that a test? When everybody came in, was there, was there, what's your idea of a fun Saturday night?

Are you a homebody or do you wanna go outside the opera house and you'll guess the Jews? Just live with it, not working out quite as well as you thought. If you think it's a good idea to keep invading, as Steve Seller said, you might not like Steve Seller. Mostly retards don't know who he is. Here's the point. The people that would hate me for mentioning his name don't know who he is.

Here's the point. If you're going to continually invade the world and then invite the world, if you're going to knock over all these countries, prop up all these dictators, the Middle East does cling to some an archaic form of religion, of theocracy, but a lot of that's because we propped up a lot of these goons to begin with

because they were doing business with us. So they oppressed their people and kept their mouth shut and they were able to do our bidding and work with our multinational corporations. Iran is a perfect example from that. You look at a progressive country that goes, you know, that turns on a dime and now is a huge problem and incubator of fundamentalist philosophy. If you keep doing this, if you keep knocking over these countries for the small benefit

of a small group of people that live in America, the people that really feast on the on the corpse of the dying empire. You know, like the people that are really, really make it and it's not just a small group, but only and that's the other misconception. You know, there's a lot of people make a money off this empire. It's not just it's not just the guy the ones at the top make more than the rest of us. But if we all want to adjust our lifestyles downward, you can go to countries that military industrial complex have one nice restaurant called Noma, and they live in tiny little boxes in the caterpillars, and they have a nice Christmas market

and it's called Norway, or Denmark. It doesn't matter. The point is, if you wanna live in a 6,000 square foot house in the middle of Texas, where nine of the rooms are unused, and drive a big car that you can get new and accident in, even if you're drunk and you'll still be okay, because you can't afford the spinal surgery, they're you're going to need if you flip it, if you want to live that type of life, if you want to spend thousands of dollars on high interest rate credit card revolving debt to buy garbage fat chairs for your disgusting family

To sit in if you want to go out to restaurants like my gianos and the cheesecake factory and eat plastic lasagna full of poison every day someone's got to pay for that Someone's got to pay for that kind of life Okay, and it's not just that someone's got to pay for that kind of life. Okay? And it's not just the people at the top that take a lot of the spoils of the way we've lived, but if you're gonna keep going out into the world and knocking these places over

and then inviting everybody in and hoping it works out and going well, it might work, well, it might work. Well, it'll be an adventure. It'll be an adventure and keep making movies. You know, that romanticize whatever this collision of cultures, it's fun. It's sexy and fun. But it's not so much fun with people chaining gas to choose outside of the opera house that will not let me perform. So that's really the way it looks.

It's not only the way it looks, it's the way it is. We've invited a lot of these issues here. We've brought them here are unending unwavering support for Israel without giving them any hard line in the sand instructions saying, you cannot expand, you cannot do this, you cannot do that. American money will not be there if you do these things. Also, having an immigration policy, that just basically says, Hey, if you can cheat your way into this country, you can live here. If you can

cheat your way in, you can live here. We don't really care what you believe. We assume you love us. We assume you love us and everything we love. That's why you're here. We assume you love us that you're coming because you love us. That's what we assume because we're narcissists. No matter what we are, we are narcissists and it is impossible to believe that you wouldn't be coming here just loving us. Don't you love us?

But apparently not everybody loves it. Not everybody loves us, and not everybody's here to go to the Fright Night. Not everybody's there to go to the fucking Halloween spooktacular haunted house. Some people are there to chant, gas to juice. Yeah, I mean, that's what it is. So all the people that say only positive things about these experiments, these large-scale

social experiments, which is what immigration is, to a certain point, it becomes an experiment. We're trying it out. We're trying it out. And it might work. It's worked in the past to certain degrees for certain people more than others, but it's certainly worked. And now we're going with this might work too. It may, may not. But really my final word here is love.

We need it. Do we need it or not? We need it and I don't, you know, I just don't. We need a gun that shoots it. We need a gun that shoots love. If I was God, if I was God, I would just ever, it would, it would just be a big party over there. If I can make Israel a big party, if I can get every American corporation and just go into the Gaza Strip and just make it into a big mall, so that they can enjoy

it. Everybody could work at a lows, be divorced, you know? Cause that's the best, the best reality in America. It's just to work at a lows and be divorced and have a kid that doesn't hate you. I mean, of sure, people do better than that here, but on average, on average, the best you can do in our country is to work in a loaase that is located in an outlet mall,

45 minutes from your house, and have a daughter that doesn't absolutely hate you. And you got a few nice friends at the loaase, you got a few nice friends, and you don't see each other that much at the lows. You got a few nice friends. And you don't see each other that much at a work. You did one time, but it was kind of weird. You got a few of the guys together and you went to a restaurant called Yard House.

Google it. I'm not doing that whole thing again. But you went to Yard House and got chicken nachos and it was fun enough. It was fun enough. And you kind of see a woman who you think might be seeing someone else. She said she'll never live with anyone else again and never get remarried. She put the boundaries up immediately, which you thought was a little harsh up front, but you kind of like it now.

She's a little cold and stares off. She smokes a lot and says she has no plans on stopping. That is the best you're gonna do in this country on average for the most part. You work at a lows and you're divorced. You date a woman who's a smoker and has no plans on stopping, and she says, I like waking up alone.

Your daughter doesn't completely hate you. She pities you, which you think might be a little worse. But you're not bleeding out in the Gaza strip. And that's the promise that we can make is if you get it together out there, you not. If you get it together, relax with the religion. On both sides. Relax with all the weaponry, relax with the killing.

If you're lucky, one day, you will be driving alone 45 minutes to work and alose. Your daughter will call you. She will say, I'm going away for the weekend, but I'll call you when I get back. I really miss you. I love you, dad. You will say, thank you, honey. You will put your phone down. That smoker, that woman you're dating, will also call you. She'll say, I'm around tonight. That's as romantic as she gets.

And you'll put your phone down and you'll think to yourself, you know what? It's not that bad. And you'll never see the teenage driver coming. You'll never see the teenage driver coming. You'll smile thinking about your daughter and the somewhat mediocre sex you'll have with that whore later on.

You'll never see that teenage driver coming. You'll hear the smack and you'll feel the glass. And a few of those shards of glass will get into your smile. But you went out nice. You went out good. And they'll wonder where you are tonight.

It lows, but they won't call you. They won't call you. Your phone won't ring. And you knew they wouldn't call you as you lay their time. You go, they won't call. They'll just think it's one of those nights. That's the American win. So if you get your fucking act together out there in the desert, you could have that.