The Tim Dillon Show - 369 - Through The Gate

Episode Date: November 11, 2023

Tim goes off on the SAG strike ending, what the real ‘artificial intelligence’ is, Palestinians fleeing Gaza and how sometimes there’s only one way to get out of a ticket. American Royalty Tour 🎟 https://www.timdilloncomedy.com/ SPONSORS: Morgan & Morgan For more information go to forthepeople.com/tim Gametime Get The Gametime App & Use Code: 'TIM' Helix Sleep Go to HelixSleep.com/TimD for 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows with code: HELIXPARTNER20 Shipstation Get a 60-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/timdillon Blue Chew BlueChew.com & Use Code: 'TD' ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch:  https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan show. We are here. The long bloody war is over. The conflict that we have watched, which has disgusted us. It is made made, is shaking us out of our comfort zone. We have seen horrific images, and it is finally over. The screen actor's guild has finally made a deal. Sag is back. The actors are working. It is the, it is the most sag is back. The actors are working. It is the, it is the most heinous thing I have seen in the past six months. This strike has been horrible. We have seen images of people on picket lines out of work actors, unemployed. We have seen frand pressure. All of these people, people that we didn't even know existed still actors from the 90s, people from the early 2000s, out of work, stumbling out of some hellhole in the valley they live in with a picket sign standing in the 95 degree heat, begging the studios, care about me, I'm here and I'm

real. I can do it. Put me in the game, coach, put me in, I'm good. It's not fair. It's unjust. The cast of boy meets world somehow from the depths of hell. They call that from the pit of hell. The cast of boy meets world. I don't know where they were. What they were doing probably from some townhouse and in Van Ayes or some nightmare split level. They have roommates or in their 40s, whatever, they, they were activated by the bat signal and they all showed up. They all showed up begging and demanding dignity. The actor said, we want dignity. We don't want to be replaced.

Remember Charlottesville, uh, Jews will not replace us. They remember that the people during the Charlottesville protests were running around going Jews will not replace us, which a lot of people quite understandably were not thrilled with that behavior. Now because anti-Semitism is up, you know, people are perhaps warming to it, but I'm not, which I'm not, it's not good. But I will say that, um, this was a fight again. You know, who are the real Jews? AI, AI are the real Jews. Now we're learning this. We're learning this. I learn it first and then I communicated to you. This is what I have learned. Everybody's afraid of the Jews and China, but AI is everything. It's the Jews and China because both the Chinese and the Jews are defeatable. You can defeat them

in certain ways. For example, Jewish people are prone to certain cancers. Melanoma, they're very pale. They put sunscreen on the kids at the beach clubs, and they put it in globs. I never understood that. Rub it in. Um, and the Chinese, for example, you know, there's all kinds of ways that you could kind of, you know, they, they, as a people are very tough and machine like, uh, it, to beat their, it's not easy to beat the Chinese. They are that society is, but there are ways to get in.

We're fattening them up. We got American fast food over there. We have the first generation of fat Asians. We can fight. AI, you cannot fight. So whatever paranoia that you have about whatever race, whatever race you are paranoid about that is dominating you. And it's not the Irish.

I wish it was. But nobody ever says, God damn it. One day the Irish are going to run us all. That's never said. I'm not saying it's right to have paranoid fantasies about the Jews controlling everything or the Chinese or whatever Whoever you're scared of out there, but AI Is the thing that actually is going to replace you? So AI is the Jews. Everything you think the Jews are doing, AI is actually doing.

And Frans Drescher knows this. She knows this because she's been told this. Frans Drescher, what's great about her, is she doesn't really know what's happening on a day to day. She doesn't really know. Someone tells her, like, remember in the beginning,

she's like, I think it's good. It's fine. She didn't want to strike, but people got in her ear and said it's good. It's fine. She didn't want to strike, but people got in her ear and said, it's your moment, like Zelinsky, they said, don't negotiate. It's a war. Really?

Yes, you're gonna be historic because Frandresser did one thing. She played the nanny for, I don't know, five years, however, and after that, I don't believe she did anything else. The other president of SAG, one of the only other ones I knew about was a girl who played Andrea on 90210. The president of SAG is never the person that's killing it. Tom Cruz doesn't have time to be the president of SAG. No offense. I love SAG and I'm insane. None of this is negative about SAG,

even though it, if you read the text, it is. What I'm saying is that the president, when you get political, it's not because things are going well. If you're young and hot, a live-year Rodrigo is not trying to be the president of the, you know, the people that have stuff going on. So they come to people like Fransher and they go, it's your moment. And I think it is, by the way, I'm all for this. And they say it's the time. So all these studios, my

friends, David Zazloff, big daddy's ass, Donna Langley, D money, Ted Sarandos, it Netflix, Teddy the Greek. And the fourth one. Who's the fourth motherfucker? There's, there's D money, Donald Angley. There's Teddy the Greek. There's Big Daddy's Zaz and then there's the fourth one. Who is it? Who are the AMPTP? Who makes it up? Who is the fourth one? Is it Putin? Who's the fourth? I don't know, but it's, it's Iger. Bob Iger. It's Bobby Iger, Iger the tiger. Bob Iger, who they brought in, he, they brought him back into Disney to kind of calm the non-binary

thing down because they went nuts was, was, was Jaypeco and nuts with that, right? Everybody was like, come see the raindrop. I'm not a gender, I'm a raindrop. And all the kids were like, I'm a raindrop too. And somebody's like, let's get I go back in, I on the ball, please. So they went a little nuts at Disney with the non-binary stuff.

They had to comment down, which I get it. It's easy to make genderless stuff. It's just easy. It's easy. It's like, though, we can animate anything. I'm a grain of sand without a gender. Oh, so Bob Iger and all these people, they were going to, they were going to do an attack, you know, an attack. Meaning they gave their best and final over to SAG right before the holidays. And what they were going to do,

they wanted to do a SIOP, it's called Psychological Warfare. Now what that means is if SAG did not say yes, then the entire holiday season was going to be very depressing for people in the entertainment business, the actors, even the writers who strike ended a month ago, but you know, aren't going to see any projects made because the actors are not working. So the AMPTP, the big executives were like, we're going to do psychological, which by the way, I advise them to do, I told them to do this when they asked me, I said, you have to

do psychological warfare to break them down. I said this and that I'm not, I'm not trying to hurt anyone, but they asked me where the Beverly Hills of the Toth go, we want to break these people down mentally. How can we do it? I said, I have a few ideas and one of them was right before the holidays say fuck off and everyone sits at their table and they're like, I don't know anymore. You know what she said. Now they put the offer out and say, I said, no.

A fran drasher came out and said, no, fuck you. Fuck you. We will not rip. Hey, I will not replace us. Hey, I will not replay because what the streamers and the movie studios, what they wanted to do is just basically use the likeness of an actor over and over and over again and not pay them. They wanted to put dead actors back in movies. They wanted to just say, fuck it. And they wanted to be like, we've got 20 actors now. They're going to be the actors forever.

You're going to see Tom Hanks and everything. He will be an every thing. There's not going to be any new actors. That's kind of what they were going with. They were kind of going with this idea that like we're in the last throws of the business as it is before it completely becomes a tech business because everything that can be digitized will as that, uh,

lesbian, a care swisher said who'd blocked me with no interactions blocking on Twitter. The woman, what's wrong with her? I don't know. Um, but my point is what I'm saying is that this business knows where it is. These guys are smarter than us. They know where it's going. They know they cannot get teenagers in the movie theaters. They don't know what to do. These kids are playing video games. They know where it's going. They know they cannot get teenagers in the movie theaters.

They don't know what to do. These kids are playing video games. They don't give a shit, right? They're watching TikTok. Nobody cares about these long form films anymore. They see that. They know that. They're going, how are we gonna deal with

the suggesting shifting landscape? Let's get rid of the actors because the actors are a problem. They want money, they rape, get rid of them, zero sexual assault, zero money, get rid of the actors and they try to get rid of the writers. You go, well, hey, I'll just write the thing and then we'll put people in it that are dead or are not dead, but we'll use their likeness once. We'll get rid of the actors. We'll get rid of the writers and let's get the profit back in here because that's what they want. They know all these movie theaters are

closing down. They know they're fighting a losing battle. There's nothing you can do. The glory days of cinema are dead. They are dead. And I'm not, you know, but excluding the thing I haven't development and the two things I'm in, those are fine. But in a larger point, the glory days of the movie business, the money isn't there anymore. It's not there. The big guys know that. So what they're trying to do is cut costs in any way that they can to prepare themselves for the eventuality of a major seismic change in this business. And it's not nice and nobody likes it.

However, they are putting the ball before the, whatever, the cart before the horse, because at this moment right now, AI is not good enough to come in and replace everybody yet. So they have to play a little ball. They made a three year contract, only three years. I think I'm right on that. It's a three year contract with the screen actors killed. And they adjusted the AI language so that actors could go back to work. Because the sticking point was AI. And the studio said it looks really bad to hang everybody

out to dry over the holiday season. We are going to get up some of this deal. Let's see the deal they made. Get up some of this deal, let's see the deal they made. So here's some of the deal points in the actual deal that they made. For the next 12 months, for the next year, no, there will be no Filipinos in any film. Now, this is just to give us a time to get adjusted because we didn't really know a ton about Filipinos and now they're everywhere. And there's nothing wrong with that. We're just trying to figure out what it even is. It's a beautiful culture, but it's everywhere

and we're just, it's just let, it's, let us in slowly here. Is it Mexican? Is it Asian? What is it? Where is it? Where is it going? We just want to be led in slowly. So no Filipinos, okay, for 12 months, just again, to slowly kind of put it in, which again, initially when I read it, I thought that was a little crazy, you know what I mean? But, okay, no woman over 350 pounds will be referred to as hot, which I think is nice, so that there's no woman over 350 pounds that will be referred to as hot for three years in a film, which I think is helpful because that was one of the bigger problems that we were having, you know.

This is an interesting one. I find this very interesting. Nobody in a film for the next 36 months will be allowed to be both black and Jewish at the same time. It's confusing. These are the deal points that they came up. And I thought this was more about the pay structure, but apparently I like this. It's more kind of cultural things that are happening that I find very important.

So there's going to like Tiffany haddish when they say Tiffany Hadesh. That scares people. They don't know what's happening, which way it's going. So that's not allowed. Under the new rules, this is the contract. I'm not, this is not me. This is the contract.

I'm not saying this. This is the contract, okay? Okay. Timothy Shalame and Finn Wolfert are not allowed to be in the same film. At all, they're not. They're not. Timothy Shalame and Finn Wolford are not allowed to be in the same film at all. They're not. They're not.

There is a limit to a small bone structure male in the film. We cannot have more than one. If there's going to be one male in the film with a very brittle bone structure, it's got to be one of them. It can't be both of them at the same time. We can't. Okay. There's also limits to what Timothy Shalame can play. He cannot play Rosa Parks. I know we want him and everything, but he

cannot be sitting in the back of a bus with his hair and a bonnet in blackface playing Rosa Parks. There needs to be a moment when we say no, when we say no, the strike will be over as of 12 or one Pacific time on Thursday, November 9th. Putting an end to more than seven months, seven months culminating on a dramatic day of studio earnings results. And by the way, here's what I would suggest. There are places to use the AI, use it in Gaza. If you bomb one hospital, is real, just keep using that hospital's likeness. You don't have to bomb every hospital.

Just use the hospital's likeness. You don't have to bomb every refugee camp. Use one refugee camp over and over again. It will still send fear into the hearts of men. We don't need to kill everyone over there. Let's just kill, let's say a few thousand people and then keep using their likeness. That's a good thing for AI. That's a good thing. Less real people die, but you keep using the likeness. And I think they're, they can get this. They're a smart country.

You can put the screams on loop, you know? Put it on loop. You record it. You bomb one, you know, a child development center, whatever. I don't know if they have them. You know what I mean? You bomb one bakery on Sunday. And then you put this, you record it, loop it, Loop it. Just loop it. So you don't have to keep doing it because people are getting angry. But Israel is now get this up. Congrats everybody.

But by the way, I am in the new movie, the new Eli Roth movie starring me. I'm the star of this movie called Thanksgiving. I am the star of it. The whole film's about me. I'm in it for, I think four minutes, but it's the whole thing's about me in my life and It's this Addison Ray is in this have you heard of her this tiktok or she's got 80 million followers very attractive woman

By the way, and you know how I feel about women I like them, but I have my rules my two rules for women keep your pussy away from me and don't vote those are my rules and go to the eras tour, not the voting machine. It's eras tour time. Welcome to New York. So Addison Ray, by the way, is was cool. I didn't know if she would be cool because you get to sat and you go, is she going to be like, you know, the biggest bitch ever? But guess what? She was so fucking cool and then Rick Hoffman's in it from suits. And Gina Gershon, who's a fucking legend, used to hang out with Bill Clinton, who knows who cares. Also Patrick Dempsey, who just voted sexy

as guy alive. What a cast. Thanks, giving Sony pictures, Sony entertainment, thanks giving the movie Eli Roth movie, which I was paid, I think $600 to be, and I believe I made 600 note was very good. But I'm also in another thing, which I can't talk about, which I hope I'm still in. I hope I'm still in God forbid if I am edited out of that. If I am edited out of that. If I am edited out of that, I will go on a war path like you have never seen in the history of this program. It will make the Airbnb lesbian seem quaint. I will go on a war path. If I am edited out of that, which I don't think I am and I hope I'm not. But this, this is

great. Are we allowed to play the trailer? They can't, they're not gonna copyright strike us. Do we have any of the, are we gonna read some ads later for it or no? They have not. I mean, can we make a little money here? Can we get our B-quad or what's going on? I got people, I got supplement companies made it be left and right here

because they can't take a joke, okay? What are you people nuts? Who do you think said, get get taking your product out there? When you start micromanaging your audience, when you start demanding your audience be upstanding moral people, it is the quickest route to bankruptcy. Listen to me now, you non-mainstream people.

When you start demanding purity of your audience, I'm telling you right now, it is the quickest root to bankruptcy. Whoever likes it can like it. They're allowed to like it. If it appeals, there are people listening to the show right now in Hamas. That is a fact.

You may not like it. I don't love everything. They do it like some of it, some would create it. But I mean, just from afar, I don't love it. I don't endorse it at all. You know what I mean? I don't, I don't love it. I don't endorse it at all. You know what I mean? I don't like tunnels at all, really. I don't even like them.

You know, I never, that's right. I didn't like water parks, really. But the point is that I'm saying that I cannot go around and make sure that everybody who enjoys my content is a perfect moral upstanding. But some of these advertisers, and I won't mention names, some of these advertisers are demanding that everybody who says something nice about their product be like perfect. And I'm telling you right now, it is the quickest route to destroying

yourself. I'm telling you I've seen it before, especially when you have a digital marketing strategy. If your company is Coca-Cola, it's not. But if it is, and by the way, how many people drink a Coke and then shoot their wife and ad? A lot. A lot of people. A lot of people have a can of Pepsi and then sexually abuse their own children. And I'm not saying it's right. What I'm saying is that Pepsi is in the business of selling Pepsi. They're not in the business of finding out who's a pedophile. They're not in the business of finding out who's beating their way. You know, some people take a Heineken and bash it over the head of someone else. Is that Heineken's fault?

No, it's not. Read into this what you want. I'm not getting specific. I'm just saying that I, I am giving advice to people out there. I'm telling you right now, purity leads to bankruptcy. Okay. Can we play this trailer here or should we not? Should we wait because we're going to read some ads for it right wait until we get paid here Well, I'm doing it because I like it, but I also want to be paid for it Israel is now allowing four hour pauses and fighting which I think is good for naps They were left which is good because a lot of people, by the way, have been angry at Israel. Israel agrees to four hour daily pauses in gossip fighting to allow civilians to flee.

I've always said, by the way, I've always said that it is nice to allow people to flee. This is a nice thing. You know, in a world where we don't do anything nice for each other anymore, no one does anything nice for anyone else anymore. Everything's about money, right? And status and clout. But isn't it nice that because we're in the holiday season, is really saying, hey, flee. We're allowing you to flee. There's something about that that I feel is kind of it is a little bit. You can feel

it's a little warm. It's like a holiday things coming. It's starting to happen, you know? Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Families fleeing for their lives. They are running to the border of Jordan. Where's the cat? They've cats in Palestine. Someone get the cat. We don't have time to go back for the cat. The cat is on fire. Where's my brother? It's nice because it's a it's like it's not just heartless.

Now do you think it do? Oh, do they like? How do they know it's time to flee? That's the thing. Is it like a surprise? Is it like a fun? Because by the way, I'm not a huge fan of reality TV. We know this. But there is something fun about just like, and flee. And then it's like, you know, with the music like, like, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, So there's that people don't understand how vulnerable you are when you're on the roads.

This is something that I've told people all the time, right? I mean, I've been in five car accidents. I've caused many of them, but it is hard because, um, you know, people have to have to really protect themselves. And the way to do that, first of all, 35% of all fatal accidents occur between 6 PM and midnight. People age 25 to 34 have the highest amount of drivers involved in car crashes. People age 15 to 24 have the highest rate of emergency room visits due to car accidents of all age groups, inexperienced drivers driving at night. It's a recipe for disaster. Okay. groups, inexperienced drivers driving at night, it's a recipe for disaster. Okay. And here's the way it works, folks. If you are hurt in an accident, what are you going to do? You need

to be taken care of, you need to have an advocate like Morgan and Morgan. Morgan and Morgan is the largest injury law from an America. They have over 100 offices nationwide, more than 800 lawyers. With over $15 billion recovered for over 300,000 clients, Morgan and Morgan has approved a track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation. They do not collect unless you win. That's big. They've been fighting for the people for over 35 years and submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan is so easy. If you're ever injured, you could check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win until they deliver for you. You don't pay them anything. For more information, go to for the people.com slash Tim or dial pound

law, pound 529 from your cell phone. That's F-O-R, the people.com slash Tim T-I-M or pound law, pound 529 from yourself. This isn't paid advertisement. I'm telling you, if you are hurt in any type of accident, you need to call Morgan and Morgan right now and make sure that you are getting treated fairly. I tried to get tickets for the Aristotle. It was really crazy. It was really, really sad. I was trying to get them for my wife's birthday. I was like, you love Taylor Swift. Listen to this. I couldn't

get them. My wife took our children and left me and I cannot see them. And I'm in this crazy legal limbo. and it's insane. Maybe I should have had the game time app, the game time app last minute ticket deals, flash deals, zone deals, easy to find and buy tickets for every kind of event in your area, views from all the seats in the venue, lowest price guarantee,

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If you find tickets in the same section and front row for less, game time will credit you 110% of the difference. Download the game time app, create an account and use the code TIM for 20% off your purchase. By the way, this all helps the show as well. It's a great place to get tickets. Terms apply again, create an account and redeem codes. By the TIM, get $20 off your first purchase, create an account, use the code TIM, get $20 off your first purchase. Download game time today. Last minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed. Israel has agreed to put in place

four hour daily humanitarian pauses in its assault on Hamas in northern Gaza, the White House said Thursday. As President Joe Biden pressed Israelis for multi-day stoppage into fighting, because here's what we need to do. I understand the horrific attack that Hamas did. I understand the sickness in American college campuses and on the left that excuses the

behavior of any terrorist who has gone to a tanning bed. I understand that as long as you're in the group of people that's considered non-white, to many on the left, you're allowed to do whatever you want no matter how heinous and horrible it is. I'm fully well aware of that. And I think Israel independent of the Palestinian question in and of itself, or the settlement's fair. No, should it have been a, I don't, what am I going to really to litigate that? What I'm saying is that right now, where we are, the actions of Hamas are indefensible. If in any, some of Israel's actions have probably been indefensible because it's a war and in a war, people do things that cannot be defended. This is a fact, yes or yes, who's smarter than me? Not many. Here's the problem right now. It's bothering me. And it's bothering many people. I know. And this is what I mean.

We need, we need a plan, BB Netanyahu going out and going, we're going to be the ones doing security and Gaza. Well, that sounds great. And then thinking maybe the Americans get involved. Does that sound like a good idea? Putting US troops on the ground in Gaza? This was a real idea. They go, yeah, we get an internet, you know, no, no, no, no. Arab countries need to get involved, okay? We need not go out there and tell people how to live

and at gunpoint, which is what we do all the time. We need not go out there and tell people how to live and at gunpoint, which is what we do all the time and it makes us a lot of money. But we need to, and we need to work with Israel here because these, and I have sympathy for what these Israelis have to deal with. But I also have sympathy for two million Palestinians who are being massacred right now that had nothing to do with this attack. What we need to do is establish an Arab security force in Gaza.

You need to get rid of a mass. You need to have elections. I don't know how to do any of that, but that's what needs to happen. It does not need to be an Israeli American face in Gaza. That's, that's a big no no. Okay. There needs to be Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Jordan. We need to kick in money, but we can have American troops over there, like sitting docs. I think it's a very bad idea for Netanyahu

to have a permanent role. He said, Israel will have an indefinite role in the security of Gaza. I think that's a very bad idea. You know, I mean, this is what I'm, where I'm at with this. This is not, it's not going to do anybody any good for Israel to have an unending military campaign in Gaza. We'll do no one any good. It will make no one any safer.

Jews all over the world, Americans, everybody will suffer if Israel has an unending military campaign in Gaza without a clear objective outside of let's get rid of a mosque. We'll short let's get rid of a mosque, But you know how these things work, by the way. We got rid of ISIS, we got ISIL, we changed one letter. What do you think happens? We think these people go away? What do you think happens when you get rid of a mosque? They attack, I'm sorry, they elect like a pro-Western liberal.

It's not the way it works. You get rid of one group. And then the next group comes and grows. We grow the next group. We grow the terrorists like a fungus. And then we get another Hamas with another name. And then we got to go over there and kick the shit out of them. And it's a cycle. You have to remove the root causes and the problems. And you need to figure out a way, there should be a renewed push now for a amicable two-state solution in whatever way that that is. There should be a major focus of the international community. Truly, the, the, the, the G eight, all of these things. There should be, it

should be a renewed major focus on it because if we don't have it, this is going to be a volatile region forever. And the weapons are only getting better. The weapons that everybody has in the region are only getting better. The ability to do real damage is only getting, you know, easier for people to do. But I think these four hour things where they're allowing people to flee is lovely. I think it's a lovely,

hey, a lot of families will tell you that they bond when they are fleeing. They bond when they are fleeing. He's a good example of this. I'm going to use an example. And some people are going to say that this sounds out of touch. My dearly departed mother, schizophrenia, though, she may have been, uh, it was always kind of, uh, paranoid about, uh, the insect spraying that they did in Long Island. Long Island is West Nile, they'd West Nile. Old boomers started getting bit by bugs and dying. I think three

of them, I don't know what happened, but everybody was paranoid about West Nile for a few years. It's West Nile viruses coming from. and what happened was that they started spraying to kill the bugs that carry West Nile from Africa. It's bugs from Africa coming to kill us in all. So my mother, she heard that they were spraying and she grabbed me in my friend, Shay, and we all got on a train in New York City. And we went to eat at a restaurant called Artipasta, which was really nice. Is this not kind of the experience of the Palestinians trying to get to Egypt?

You know what I mean? Like last minute, but he's kind of the vibe. Last minute, throat all in the car. No school tomorrow. You know what I mean? Like kind of like a the car, no school tomorrow. You know what I mean? Like kind of like a fun, like no school tomorrow, don't even worry about it.

Everything's in the car. Last minute, they carry. It's all about right? So Israel allowing people to flee, love the word, Israel allow not relocate, flee. Great, great, who's doing the press over there? You think they'd be good at the press? Well, fleeing four hours, they get a four hour window

that can flee. And I think there's some nice about that. The families together, together, together, together, together. I'm a fan of togetherness, okay. So far, I've got about $200 worth of parking tickets in Manhattan because of the unjust Eric Adams administration targeting me because I've been critical of him. But let's see there. This is a great video of somebody getting pulled over. We don't see enough of these. I, because the woke people are at the end. We know this, they know it.

The people that have been performatively woke for a very long time, right? I mean, you know, all these, as shumers in the IDF now, like everybody's, everybody is moving in the direction of blatant naked self-interest. I've called, and this is what's happening. I called that years ago. All woke is a patina.

It's basically going, no, this is about everyone else. That's all woke is, it's all it is. It's actually about everyone out, but it's not. It's about you. It was a great way to elevate mediocre people in the arts. These overeducated degree holders from liberal arts schools, it owed a shitload of money in student loans and had nowhere to work. They bullied their way into these diversity coordinator bullshit positions, sensitivity,

readers, HR departments inflated with all these things. That's what it was. It was always disguising self interest without tourism. No, it's for it was. It was always disguising self interest With altruism. No, it's for the collective. It's for the better But now it's become a cartoon and we've seen it and it's actually funny. I actually like them now The people that are still holding on to this wokeness are actually becoming fun Because they're the ones that are not too good. They're not great at hiding what they want out of it. This woman who's looks wider than me, by the way, is pulled over here.

And do we know what country this is? This is the United States. So this is the United States of America. And the cops are really on their best behavior here. The United States of America, do we know what state? I believe somewhere in the Midwest. So in the Midwest, which we're told is just it's a ski shoot, where they just kill everyone, these cops. Somewhere in the Midwest, you see this woman being pulled over and she starts talking and

it is so funny funny roll this tape. What's going on? Nothing. Why are you driving in the wrong way at traffic? No, I just got changed around. I just moved here like two months ago. Okay. I just got changed around. Okay. Do you understand what's going on though? Yeah. You're going in on coming traffic. I know and I just decided that it was better to just sit around and really fuck with it.

Okay. But I'm sorry. I just have like really bad social anxiety and stuff. You know, stop this. I agree. Second, I've driven drunk a lot. The nightmare, the nightmare and I've really never got pulled over. I've got pulled over high a few times, but it's hard for them to prove.

The nightmare is the first thing she said, I got changed around. Oh, there's nothing worse than the first thing you say they know. Because now you know you're getting the test. You know when you say something dumb like that, it's going to end with the test. There's no like you have a split second to convince them. Like literally when I get pulled over now, I'm like, listen, I'm not so, I go, I'm sober. You could look at my Wikipedia. I'm a comedian. I know it's late. I'm coming from somewhere else. I was going 113 miles an hour, which I thought was

the speed limit. And the reason I'm going that is because I have probably, and not to be, you know, a dick about it, sir, but I have maybe the most impressive sedan in the country at the moment. It seems weird to drive at 76 miles an hour. I'm 36. I haven't treated my body great. I don't know how long I'll be here. So I'm enjoying the times as we have them.

And frankly, it would be great to get just, you know, you know, have a Mac truck slam into me and everything because at the end of the day, it's a real clean way to make an exit. So I'm not sober. There's not much you can get me on. You can write me a speeding ticket. I'm sure you will. I'm not going to go that much slower, though. It doesn't seem fair.

But this woman, again, once you say I changed around, it's all over. Keep going here. I don't want to step out of the're asking for stuff. Okay, we're pass that. So just go ahead and step out. As an indigenous person. Back back here please. Miss Perry. I'm non-binary so. Okay, what do you go by? Sky. How can I offer you tonight? Sky. Hey, I'm Smell Outgall. No.

How much have you consumed tonight? Probably through Jane. I need to run you through some tests right now. Stand facing me please. But I just want you to know that I also have very bad social anxiety. You and me both. Like she's at a party. Okay.

Okay. Any recent head trauma traumatic brain injuries? Anything I need to know about? Mental, yes. Folks on my finger, please. I think you're just like trying to intimidate me. I don't know how I'm trying to do that. This is the test.

As you know, I was an indigenous person and there's a bunch of s*** going around. I'm sorry, but it's just for me to be on my toes. I get you. Can you remember that I told you that? I'm home by Mary. Yeah, I'll try my hardest. I'll refer to you as Kai, right? Yes.

Perfect. I need to know if you have any injuries or anything that would prevent you from doing a standard walk or a turn tonight. Mental health. Any physical injuries? Mental, yeah. Okay. I get you. Now with your right foot, place it in front of your left in a heel-to-toe touching manner with your arm fire side. Just like this, ma'am. You know what I've noticed? This is a new thing. People

just say they have PTSD now and no one has to prove where it came from. Like people just say that now, like that was reserved for veterans of foreign wars. Like I understand anxiety and depression, but people just say I have post him traumatic stress disorder. That when I was growing up and up until recently was reserved for people who had been in like a crazy, like you were held at gunpoint or something, and you had PTSD because of that. People say they have PTSD now. They don't even trace it to an event. They don't even like talk about what it, somebody should have a killer story.

If they have PTSD, somebody should be like, I have PTSD and just go really and they go, yeah, I was on a cruise, it was the whole captain Phillips thing. They came, the Somali pirates came on, guns did a head, then you go, oh, I get it. But somebody, people just go, I have PTSD now and don't specify, doesn't it have to be linked to an event?

I'm pretty sure it did. Like if somebody goes, I'm from God's, I have PTSD, I go, I get it, I get it. But someone whose name is like Miss Perry, who's driving drunk through the cornfields of our heartland, just goes, I have PTSD, I mean, you know, and you know, I would ask her if I was a cop and go, oh, that's tough. You serve her. What is it from, you know, keep going.

I'm not calling me man, please. I'm trying my hardest. Okay. Okay. It means a lot to me. I'm trying my hardest. I don't feel like I'm making so. Okay. It's kind of triggering. Right foot in front of your left. Nope, go back. I'm sorry, but the whole man can you just like... That's good. He's going hard. He's going hard.

She's going hard. She's going hard. She's going hard. No, but I just want to tell you that he suffered from really bad anxiety. Right. Right. With generational trauma and PTSD around white people. Yeah, PTSD generational trauma.

What happened to often to suck people off? No, I mean, truly like what happened to just go in like, can I suck your cock? Like instead of, it's got to work more often than this shit. It's got to work more often than this shit. It's got a more than generational trauma. Just go, can I suck your officer? Can we turn this camera off? Can I just go in the back and suck you off? Once the last time you've really had a good blow,

I mean a good blow job. I mean, I don't come up until you're done blow job. Like that's got to work more than this shit, generational trauma. But this is the problem now. We have told women, we've lied to women so much in this country. We have told them to, to be grow bosses instead of raise families. And we've also told them when a cop pulls them over, they shouldn't immediately think about offering to suck their cock because that really is a much better thing. I would, I would offer to suck more cops off if I thought it would help. I don't think in my case it would. Let's finish up with this them, they them, them there that every single person that has visited me on

Long Island goes, what are those beds? I want to buy them for my house. Three to four people have done this in the last three months. And I tell them it's the midnight deluxe from Helix. Okay, this is the best mattress on the market in my opinion. Okay, you take a quiz. They tell you, you tell them what you're sleeping preferences. Hard mattress is firm, soft, you know, you're hot sleeper, do you get cold, whatever. I'm telling you right now, you take this quiz, they let you know what the perfect mattresses

for you. I like the midnight deluxe. Other people, you know, it's all specifically tailor made for you. I am offering 20% off my listeners here, the great people at Helix in partnership with the Tim Dylan show, are offering 20% off. Go to helix sleep.com slash Tim D and use code helix partner 20. That's code helix partner 20 H E L I X P A R T N E R 20. I mean, you got to get these beds because everybody loves them. Everybody talks about them.

You will be the coolest person that everyone knows if you have this bed. Can I say something now? If you were a hostage, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, knowas had the helix midnight deluxe beds, I wouldn't want to leave. But that's true. Everyone just watching this right now, so I don't get thrown off this. I want you to go. I'm telling you, go to helixsleep.com slash TimDee and use a code of helixpartner20. This is the season where everybody's gonna have an e-commerce business because a lot of people

want to buy things. If you have an e-commerce business, the last thing you need to worry about is shipping. You need to worry about originating clients, getting a customer base, executing, making people happy, originating ideas, unique concepts to make people's lives better, provide value to your customers.

What do you not need to worry about? Shipping orders back office stuff. Ship station comes in amazingly handy. They are the best. They work with all the major carriers, USPS, UPS, DHL, global post, okay? They help you manage an easy database so you know what got sent out, what's been received.

This is so easy to do. It allows you to focus on other parts of your business. They're going to make you more money, effortless integration everywhere you sell online, including Amazon, Etsy, eBay, Shopify and more. Shipstation manages, orders, prints, labels, compares rates, optimizes every shipment and automates delivery notifications. Let your customer shop risk for you this holiday season, go to shipstation.com, use code Tim Dylan today and sign up for your free 60 day trial. Are you kidding me? That's all of November, all of December, or all of December in January. This is the biggest month of the year for selling people stuff.

And you're getting free, your shipping is being handled for free because you listen to a podcast. Do you understand the era that you're fucking living in? How fucking lucky you are every fucking day. Do you understand that? That you can start a company right now and not pay for 60 fucking days for shipping that they handle it for you and you just sit on your ass and figure out

all the other shit that's more important for you to do anyway. You lucky fuck. It must be nice to be you out there. Go to shipstation.com use code Tim Dylan. That's shipstation.com code T I M T I L L L one. I'm going to speak with you right over here, okay? Yes, ma'am. Go ahead and push your hands, mind your back. Don't, dude. Don't. Don't. Don't make it hard.

Please. Don't make it hard. No, you're- You're gonna get a resisted. Dude, I- You're gonna get a resisted. I don't. Don't resist. Don't.

Listen to me. Don't resist. Don't. You're being a white man and Don't I You guys are scared This is all world politics and by the way, I would have been for it if they came came out, said I just want to drive drunk, I would have went, okay, let's just get to that quicker.

That's all that it, it, it, it, it ever was about was just wanting to not follow any type of law that you didn't like or that didn't convenience you. That's the best like if, if somebody said me, what's like woke, Paul, or any of that bullshit, I even hate that word, but like, that's it. That's the best. Like if somebody said me, what's like woke pause or any of that bullshit? I even hate that word, but like that's it. That's exactly what it is. White man, don't tell you know. I get it. I get it. But it's just the funniest thing to watch it perfectly explained. And it's at the end now. It's at the end. It's like hips. I remember like the end of the hipsters in Williamsburg. I remember like the final like the last

unicycle that wrote over the Polesky bridge into Greenpoint. It was like there was a time when snobbery was the religion You know, and the hipster was the guardian of that. And Sam Chris has a good article now on a sub stack about it about what hipsters were. They were like the last attempt, the last non algorithmic attempt at telling you what is good. And that was Sam Chris's point who's a good writer. But I remember how that ended. You know, hipsters were always these people that knew better than you. They knew more bands than you. They had read the novels you

didn't. They had read theory. They were cool. They dressed in thrift shop clothes. They looked like flappers from the 20s. They went to the cool comedy shows, the cool music shows. They drank it all the cool, speakeasy bullshit places. And that was an entire identity. And it was in Brooklyn. And then it spread to Los Angeles. And then it spread all over the place to Austin to Portland, all these things. But then it ended. It ended kind of they all all these movements end in a very clownish way. Because the third wave people, the people are at the end, it's sad. Like the people that are glomming on to the end of it, not the ones who started it or even

the ones who enjoyed it, when it was thriving, these are the people at the very, very end of it that barely understand it, that are just, it's like, I'm I'm indigenous, which she's nice. No way. There's no way that in any any in any categorical way that this woman is indigenous at all, but she's coming at the end. She probably got real fired up over the pandemic. And she just wants to get drunk and drive her car home. And she goes, fuck, how do I do it? How do I do this? She's fleeing.

She's kind of fleeing. You know, just like those Palestinian families, we hope that we hope they make, we hope everybody makes it. There's a great scene. Get up the scene, get up the scene from, get up the scene from the never ending story. There is a scene.

When the main character has to go through this gate, it's like, it's a gate. Yes, through this thinks is gate, okay? We're going to play this. Can we, are we allowed? What are we allowed to do in this country anymore? What are we allowed to do? Well, what are we allowed to do here?

Can someone tell me before I'm living on a straight? If we're providing like brief commentary on it And it's not like exploitive Sokibat, do you understand what that is? I do not the Ukraine will feel the pain that they have never felt before, because all of the world is focused on the Jews now. It's not wrong, Izzy. Play this, play this a little bit. The gate, the Sphinxes, are Israel, and this young gentleman is a Palestinian.

Please play this. Thank you. He's got to go through the gate. He's fleeing. This is nice. This is a good fair thing that they've just set up a gate. And the thing is, if you feel any self doubt, if you doubt yourself at all, this thing says eyes will open. So he's gotta go through very confidently. So this is what Israel is arranged,

which I think is actually quite nice. I think it's actually quite nice. There's certain the Palestinian Zid have gone before him. But... Uh-oh. It's time to flee. This is reals like through the gate. Don't worry about it. You'll get your house back through the gate.

Just go through the gate. Just go through the gate. Just go through that gate. There it is. Don't look down. That's PTSD for you. Ha-ha-ha. Here we go. Here you go through the gate.

It's fine. It's all good. They're doing good. There the gate. It's fine. It's all good. They're doing good. There's, well, there's Israel. It is, I gotta be honest. I don't know how wrong I am about this by the way. Here we go. Can he make it? Can he do it? Run. Run.

HBO's gonna give you a comedy special if you make it through. If you make it through the gate, you'll have a New York Times best seller. Make it through the gate now. Make it through the gate so you can serve any Schumer and Exploded Pizza. Make it through, run! Run! Run, run, run, Carmichael's producing! Run!

He did it! Woo! And that is the story of the Palestinian going through the You're on Carmichael's producing! Right! He did it! Woo! And that is the story of the Palestinian going through the gate coming to America where he will, he's here they will write a brilliant, beautiful thing. We will all enjoy.

We're very excited that the screen actor's killed because now the people, I have so many people messaging me going, the strike is finally over and I just want to say We're very excited that the screen actor skill because now the people I have so many people messaging me going The strike is finally over and I just want to say to them you have never worked You have never worked in your life I have people messaging me that are so hopeless I mean it's beyond human comprehension I don't know how they live. I don't know how they live. And they are

ebulliant about the strike being over. They're very excited. They're like, funny. Here's what people don't realize about the strike being over the WGA and the SAG. The business is going to come back a lot smaller. There's going to be a lot less shows made. It's going to thin the herd. Things are going to tighten up. This is kind of incontrovertible fact. A lot of the people that are dancing in the street right now about the screen actors killed reaching this agreement 12 months from now will have made not more anymore money than they have in their pocket right now.

They will still have to leave the business. Now, I don't want to tell them that. I don't want to be the bearer of bad news. But this is a fact. This is a fact. The business is going to shrink and the AMPTP in three years. Can you imagine the contract in three years?

Ooh, once AI is better, when AI is really good, they might not even have it. They might go, Hey, fuck you. There is no new contract. What I mean is that this business is changing. It's changing. And that's why we appreciate everybody who supports us here, supports us on Patreon, comes to see me live. And we love you guys.

Going out and support the movies that I'm in Thanksgiving, it's a really fun, great movie. And I, you know, you know, we don't rely on any one thing, relying on anyone thing is, is bad. You know, we have to get out there and diverse of high. But we've got a lot of cool projects and we're very excited. And this book is going to come out. It's very exciting. We, we of course dumped our publisher because we did not like them. We felt they were evil. We don't want to work with anyone who we feel is evil. That's our one, we draw the line when someone is evil and demonic. We feel like we should not work with them. And I'm not saying anything bad about them. I'm just saying we believe in light and that side of the equation, not the dark blackness

and the coldness and the demonic evil of our last publisher. That's all. And I'm not saying anything bad. That's not negative. The guy that signed my book onto this thing, this little hobbit like fellow, they got rid of this man, this little hobbit man, they get rid of this man, and he's smoking a pipe in the shire.

I have never heard from him. And then I had to deal with these other goons. So we're gonna do it independently, because there's nothing wrong with independence, okay? That's what it is. What can we say about Bluetooth that hasn't been said? I mean, let's say a few things that haven't been said. Number one, it's the holidays, and it's time for a hard cock.

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Carnegie Hall sold out be a lot of fun tomorrow night, which is yesterday Friday night. We're just exciting time. I started, I'm very bad at this. I don't do these emotional things ever because I don't see a huge value in them, you know, and I just also don't do them well. Some people do them well. I did start commenting late 2010. And it's pretty wild to Carnegie Hall's venue that I've walked by a lot. I've never been in it because I'm not a Malaysian harpist. I don't know what goes on over there. It seems like a scam when you look at the people that are performing there. Although I might go see an Irish Christmas this year. I might that might be good. They have something called an Irish crib, but nobody knows what it is. Um, so we did sell it out at Carnegie Hall that is exciting. And get

Mattel Lane, get them in shape, gay guy out of there. Um, no, Mattel Lane's great. We love him. Um, we're very excited about it. It should be a lot of fun and it will be a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun where we're speaking. It's all the tenses that we can do here. Um, you know, timidilacomedy.com. We have a lot of places coming up Toronto tickets are moving fast folks at Meridian Hall. It's one of my favorite shows of the year. I like Toronto.

Um, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, we're pretty much sold out. Houston, San Diego, Detroit, Toronto, Austin, Braia, New Year's, I'm not sure if you're going to get to know that. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm

I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm show. I love DC. It's a great place for comedy. We're at the Warner theater. Casino in North field, Ohio comes. See us January 14th. San Antonio, Texas on the 25th. Dallas, Texas tickets are sold out in Austin at the mothership and people keep DMing me. Go to San Antonio. It's 45 minutes away. Go to Medi, DIADA, Mexican restaurant or go or go or go to, I think Rosario's, which I also love the garlic shrimp nachos. Go to San Antonio. If you can't get into the

mother ship, go to San Antonio. So Dallas, Atlanta, St. Louis, Indianapolis, Boston, Foxwoods in Connecticut, Atlantic City, New Jersey, May 25th. Probably shooting a special sometime in December. We'll figure it out. TimDillacommedy.com will get you all these tickets. If you enjoy what we do here, like and subscribe to this YouTube channel. It's important. Tell your friends to like and subscribe to the channel as well. Follow me on Instagram, Tim J. Dylan, D.I. LLL and on X, which I'm really never on, but we just, oh, we put up funny things that can't get banned on Instagram. Like the pizza hot Hamas video.

So that's what we do. Somebody just, you know, uploads the fun crazy stuff that they can't, nobody even works at acts. It's like, good luck getting that down. Is it still up that video? Yeah, both of them. Right. Uh, death by boomers coming soon.

Very excited about that Thanksgiving, Addison Ray, Tim Dylan, Patrick Dems, Eugene Gershan, um, Mila Mannheim, Tomasso Sennelli, a bunch of other people. Who am I leaving out? Rick Hoffman. Great movie. It's about, it's, it's starring me. I'm the star of it. I'm going to live for about three minutes, about two and a half, three minutes. And I was paid $38. And I'm doing, I do it because it's nice. I do it for the right because it's a great movie and Eli's a great director. And I love it. And we're screening it. I think Quentin Tarantino is doing a screening

at the theater. And so this is what I've heard too. This is going to be actually interesting. During the screening before the screening of Thanksgiving at Aquentan Tunis Theater, this is actually really cool. We get to watch a secret angle of Israel actually bombing the hospital. Good night.