The Tim Dillon Show - 378 - Den Of Snakes

Episode Date: January 20, 2024

Tim talks about justice closing in on the Gilbert Goons, Beverly Hills affordable housing, reality television and hot Houthi rebels. American Royalty Tour 🎟 https://www.timdilloncomedy.com/ SPONSORS Express VPN EXPRESSVPN.com/TimDillon ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch:  https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show. We are always grateful to have you here with us tuning in my voice raspy as always here with no smoking for months and months and months and still The rasp but it's not cigarettes and I don't think it ever was I think it's um I think it is dairy That's I think that that's what I figured out, not smoking cigarettes,

that the real killer, so to speak, dairy, there was a book called milk, uh, some type of killer, but that's, we're not doing that. That's not where we're going. The noose is tightening. I don't know if I can even, is that allowed that one. The noose is tightening. I don't know if I can even, is that allowed? That one, the noose is tightening? Probably not, but the noose is tightening. I'm using it for Arizona white suburban kids. So that's okay.

But there is a noose and it is tightening on the necks of the Gilbert goons. The story that we talked about, we broke on this show. We broke the story of the Gilbert goons, the story that we talked about, we broke on this show. We broke the story of the Gilbert goons in Arizona and I was the one leading the charge to try to get justice for this sad, this poor child who was killed. And I was leading the, but also let's give credit

where credit is due to the people of Arizona. I made fun of them lightly, jokingly, and they have actually stood up, they've risen up, and they've demanded justice, and they forced the police department that was seemingly covering this up, at the very least, the police department didn't seem as motivated as they should have been. And then there were all these theories about the parents and the school and the Mormon temple, and I don't know what's what. Now there's group of people we know is largely suburban and white, although one of them is black. Maybe there's a few of them that are black, but the, was it the New York post that decided to put the black guy, like the one or two black guys, this group again, largely white middle, you know, upper middle class, rich. If you want

to buy the standards of Arizona and the New York post, look at this affluent members of an affluent Arizona gang busted in string of caught on video attacks on high schoolers. But who do they have here for the front page? We have a black guy on the front page of the newspaper, and there's no pictures of any of the white people. So people tend to get maybe confused. The black guy's name is Mr. Fantastic, which again, it's not helping. That doesn't help anybody. But more white kids are going down.

It is more of a white thing than it is a black thing, but it is the New York Post. So they saw an afro and they said, Hey, we're going, we're going to, we're running with that. We're going to run with that. But Hey, if this guy's involved, he's got, everybody's got to get caught that does the wrong thing thing in that part of Arizona. So there's all these theories, lurid theories about the parents and Costa Rica and who's hiding who. And you go on the reddits and you read

and you go on next door and you read and people have, and all these kids names are like Brailleen and Taylin and Jaylin and it's all silly and ridiculous and you don't know what's what and who's who and then the one of the kids mother seems to be in it and she's writing well he didn't he's show me proof that he killed anyone and everyone's like we know you're his mother in the reddit they're like we you're his mother and she's like, we know you're his mother in the Reddit. They're like, we, you're his mother. And she's like, no, I don't even know. Um, but again, show me the proof that he killed. And it's like such weird mom energy that it's got to be the mom. And what a weird time.

And it's a boomer probably or someone younger than a boomer But it's just funny like the idea that you're on a reddit thread defending your son From the charge of murder To the local community on a red Reddit thread hiding behind an avatar. Well, why don't you show me the proof that he did? Show me one photo.

DM me the proof. And people are like, hey, and people are laying out the case and she's like arguing and it's like, why would you care that much? Who cares that much? It's got to be the mom. Or maybe it's somebody the mom knows or something. And then there's people out there that are like, maybe the moms are out there spreading dis info, like spreading dis information on these.

And I'm trying to buy the IP. I call CAA. I call these people, you know, and I call them and go, give me the intellectual property rights to this story. It's my fucking story. If there's a movie about this, so help me God, this is my story legitimately.

And I want justice for the kid, 1,000%. And I want intellectual property rights to a Netflix thing as well on this from legit. I'm telling my, I've texted my agent that I want the intellectual property rights. This writes itself. I get ignored in this town, Hollywood, not the town I'm in now, which is New York, but I'm also kind of ignored here as well. Some of the people I would like to pay attention to me, but I'm ignored in this town because I'm always pitching myself, which is not always easily digestible. But I go in there with white suburban kids, Mormons, killing in the streets,

the cops covering up. This is the story I've wanted to pitch my entire life. I go in there, I go, I'm a fat faggot, and I like Trump a little bit. I mean, I'm thrown out, I get thrown out. That's not what you do. No one was, who's that? one was who's that who's buying that Who's buying that I?

Got all these you know these lovely people lovely lovely lovely Jewish people Staring at me I'm always like someone's wife's I'm always like someone's wife's favorite. Someone's crazy wife who they like can't bring the cocktail party stash or in Palm Beach. They're always like, my wife loves you. She's down at Palm Beach. She's given to spells. We put her down at Palm Beach. She tells me you're great, but we can't. I mean, we can't write any checks here. We can't be involved. We can't do anything with you.

But this time I'm going in and I can tell their eyes are gonna roll when I walk in because some, but they enjoy me as some type of novelty. I'm a fun break in the day to a lot of these executives. Thank God I have the good people here, the public, which supports me. You know, but I would go in and their eyes are gonna roll.

They're gonna go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,

go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, landscapes, which you fucking love. You people love shooting things in the desert. Am I right? Am I right? Okay Sasha or Yale or any of these names who I'm pitching Ben or Yale or Sasha or you know, did you see that New York Times? Get this New York Times article because by the way I Love me some Israel and some Palestine and I'm the only one that has the balls to say it. I'm the only one who has the balls to say it. I want everyone to thrive and prosper.

Okay? The New York Times has this article, they come out with this article. We all know the bombing campaign in Gaza has been insane. The loss of life is tremendous. There's nothing like it. Andrew Sullivan in a piece on his blog called it Infanticide. It's hard to argue with that. A genocide means a deliberate, you know, wiping out of a race. That's certainly a different charge. That's in the Hague and people are debating that. I'm not, we're not debating genocide today. We're trying to have a nice time of it. I just got back from Palm Beach.

What I'm saying is when you are killing large amounts of children indiscriminately, infanticide does seem somewhat appropriate. So there's a lot of stuff going on here, a lot of stuff. And in the front pages of the New York times, we have scope and quality of Gaza tunnels, all Israelis, a network as large as 450 miles that has over 5,000 shafts now, okay, okay, that's a piece of news and We get that Hamas has tunnels, but the tremendous bombing campaign the insane loss of life and dislocation of peoples and things like that and

Now that this is written you gotta folks folks, you gotta, I mean, just for a little, I, I get it, but have a little, just have one Gentile write the thing because here's the, who's written this article, by the way, on the way, by the way, everybody's protesting. I could barely get to my show in DC because of these protests. They're in New York. They're everywhere. They're in LA. They're in every major city, massive protests. Biden's poll numbers are crashing. They're calling him genocide Joe. It's a, it's a nightmare for the democratic party, especially among young people.

Scope and quality of Gaza tunnels, all Israelis. Now, what's funny about this headline is that the scope of the bombing is owing many people to right around the world. That's also owing people. This article is written by Adam Goldman, Ronan Bergman and Gal Copelwitz. It's like, and then Patrick Kingsley, we throw in the gentile. Guys, I mean, I understand, but just in the idea of objectivity, throw in Billy O'Brien, throw in Tommy Iannucci in there. This article about the Hamas tunnels was written by Tommy Iannucci and Billy O'Brien. Instead of this is almost like in Windy City Heat, Solstein Bergerwitz, the character of the agent

whose name is Solstein Bergerwitz. The Windy City Heat he goes, God, I got really fucked, Solstein Bergerwitz, fuck me. This is kind of the vibe of that, a little bit. I'm just saying, throw in, send a little different, throw in a Tommy Perez, Perez, Lopez, something, something, little different. But I'm saying I want this IP for this story because it is my story that I own that I've brought attention to and that finally I could go in

To these companies with something that fucking for Christ they might make because it's rich white people being murderers in the desert landscape. Nice desert landscape, purple sunsets. It's kids on dirt bikes, it's their mothers, everybody's there covering it up, they own a gym or whatever. I'm not saying they do. I'm not saying I'm not, I'm not saying it. Don't sue me. I'll sue you.

I will sue you too. I'll sue you too. But I'm saying, give me this IP. I hope my agent is on this, but they always yes me to death. They always yes me to death, these people. And then send me to Reno. They're like, you're going to Reno, which I have no problem with.

But what I'm saying is finally a story that makes sense for Tim Dillon to be the steward of. I bring in great writers. Every, I'll bring in, I will bring in, I will make this thing perfect. This will be, and we'll telegraph it. Meaning that art now, we need to tell you what the themes are because you're so stupid out there, not you, but you,

are so dumb out there that we need to tell you what's happening during the thing. Nobody in girls, I watched the pilot of that and Lena Dunham, you know, for all her other issues, is, we did a great job with that show and the pilot's very funny. And all that and Lena Dunham, you know, for all her other issues is we did a great job with that show and the pilots very funny and all these things like white privilege, you know, whatever economic privilege, whatever you want to talk about, right? They're all in there, misogyny.

They're all in there, but nobody's telegraphing it. Nobody's telling you what is happening moment to moment because back in the early days of 2010 or whenever that was 2012, people trusted something to convey a message without banging you over the head. But I won't do that with this. I will bang you over the head. Right before they kill the kid, they will go, and we'll get away with this,

because we're a white man. And then they do it. I will tell it, I will bang you over the head with the message. It will not you over the head with the message. You will, it will not be lost. Give me the IP. Give me the IP, it will not be lost on you. It will not be lost.

Everyone that sees this will know exactly what it is. I find, but with this, and I know I'm being facetious, but I'm not, because I want the IP. I'm dead serious about this. This is my ticket. And not, listen, don't misunderstand. This is a tragedy. And I'm calling for that. I want these kids to go to jail and convert to Islam season two. But no, I want them all in jail death penalty, whatever they got over there, death penalty

for them. But for me, the intellectual property rights to the story, because it is a story that does teach lessons to all. It teaches lessons to all. That's where I am on that. And we don't know what's going to happen. We expect something this week. Do we know from our inside sources? Do we know? Do we think anyone big is going down this week?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Now, so that's where we are with it. And I'm like I said, something's up down there. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is or why. I have the who. I have the what. But I don't have the what. I have the, I don't have the how even. But here's the thing, let's watch a little bit of this. Who is this? This is the police chief of what is this dump called again? Gilbert. And they're calling this one of the greatest places to live? Uh, yeah, it was. Have they seen the Hamptons? No.

This is in the in and out, or oh, no, I thought, I thought he was giving the speech from the in and out. We're gonna watch this cop now. I would cast, you know, someone great, I would, I just, I have the people in my head already. I have the mother, not did anyone's, I'm thinking of anyone in particular because I'm not, but I have the mother, I have everybody, I have everyone cast, we're going into Netfla, finally with confidence, here I am, here I am, here I am, and I will march in, okay, with the nation of Islam, who will write the script to this. I will march in with the nation of Islam. Okay?

And I mean it will look wild when I walk in, but we will sit down with the nation of Islam who are writing the script of this thing with white killers. And if they don't give me a check, if they don't write me a check after I walk in with the nation of Islam Okay, but pro-Jewish a very small sect of the nation of Islam who's pro-Jewish and writing this with me this is a very curated group of nation their nation of Islam black nation of Islam very Pro-Israel maybe black Israelites, but they're also screenwriters. And they're coming into Netflix with me, get ready. And I'm walking in it, we're pitching Gilbert Goons.

And it's gonna be called the Goons or something. The Goons, the desert, it Goons, something like that. And if they don't, if I can't get that going, then what good, I mean, then, then, I mean, we should have called the whole thing off. If I can't, if I can't make this, if I can't make this show about the white killers and the rich fucking parents by Arizona standards, making this happen. Let's watch this police chief. Yeah, he finally did a press conference today

for the first time. This is his press conference, the chief of police in the lizard bill. And everything we could with that investigation, as far as following with the leads, the one thing I mentioned that we could have done that video out sooner to the public to try to identify. Chief Solberg frequently reading from notes

as he answered questions about why more arrests haven't been made in several other violent attacks. We hear a broken trust from the community concerned with who has been arrested and who hasn't. People come to us and ask. I want to say for a minute, I just want to say I am really truly like impressed with the community of people down there but the IP is mine.

And who hasn't people come to us and ask is there a cover up what is your response to that. What is your response to that? I got two responses for you. One second. The cover up question. Yes. So, in reference to your first question about is there a cover up? Absolutely not. There's no cover up. As for the group, the Gilbert Goons. Well, well, I believe them. As for your first question, there's no cover up. Well there's that.

We're gonna leave that there. I'm just letting everybody know that it is my movie, it is my series, it is something that I will make. I will go in there and this is my time. This is my story and my time. That's what it is. It's time for justice for the child that was killed tragically. It is also time for a little justice for me, finally.

It's a little justice for me now, finally, to go into HBO and get some attention, get a check written for something. So it's justice all around. It's all around justice for all with this. This is mine. I swear to Christ Adam McKay or any of them. Apatow any of them. This is mine.

This needs to be mine now. Beverly Hills, a town that evokes, I don't know, some maybe negative thoughts from people out there Some positive thoughts as well Beverly Hills 90210 was a great show when I was growing up people liked it it was about Dylan and his sister Brenda and their friend Steve Ian's earring who was beaten by bikers the other day In Beverly Hills, right or somewhere somewhere? Hollywood. Ian Ziering, who played Steve in a Beverly Hills 90210, was beaten by bikers in Hollywood the other day. Yeah. Tori Spelling, who played Donna, whose father, Aaron Spelling, was a creator of the

show. Andrea played by Gabriela Kateris, who is the head of SAG for a while. Brian Austin green, Jenny Garth, Kelly. It was a, I preferred Melrose place to this, but I was in the minority. Many people love Beverly Hills 902 and I was about rich, good-looking people. And it was the first one of those shows. After that, it was Dawson's Cree. I mean, then it was just gangbusters. It was a very influential show. Teenage soap opera So, Barbara, it gave rise to that YA young adult genre that has been a gold mine in Hollywood, Beverly Hills, 92. And that's probably the most well-known show

about Beverly Hills. I can't think of anything else. That was when I grew up, I only knew of Beverly Hills through that show. That's many people, right? And then you grow up and you realize that it is a very, very rich, wealthy enclave of California. And of course now you have the real housewives of Beverly Hills. There's a franchise, a rodeo drive or a lot

of shops, arts, a little city in the middle of California, in the middle of Los Angeles. It's not where they have any Hollywood stuff though. There's no studios there. There's no, it's like a lot of lawyers. It's a lot of doctors, a lot of plastic surgeons, a lot of restaurants. It's where rich people live, a lot of foreign money, a lot of Persians, a lot of carpet stores, well, a lot of them are in West Hollywood, but...

Beverly Hills is not like where actors live, or if there are any actors left, but it's none of that. It's just, it's business people, lawyers, Persians, whatever. And there's two parts of it. There's the flats, which is the flat section, and then there are the Hills, obviously. There are some wild big houses and estates. And then there's actually parts of it, there's the flats, which is the flat section, and then there are the hills, obviously. There are some wild big houses and estates. And then there's actually some, you know,

the slums of Beverly Hills was a movie about, there are some shitty low rent apartments in Beverly Hills that people live in. It does not have the highest per square foot real estate value in LA. That was the Pacific Palisades, probably still is. Beverly Hills values get dragged down by the apartments. It's kind of Republican, Beverly Hills.

It's a repub, people talk about it like it's liberal, but it's not, it's Republicans. A lot of Persians that are Republican and people that are older the residents are older, right? But the interesting thing about Beverly Hills is that it gets around a lot of the wacky things that LA does like LA will say vaccine mandate Beverly Hills goes nope mask mandate Beverly Hills goes nope all of these You know Beverly Hills goes, nope. All of these, um, you know, laws, the ULA, the mansion tax, where everybody in Los Angeles, if you sell your house for more than $5 million, you have

to give 4% of it to the government. And that, that supposedly is going to be used effectively to help homelessness. So Beverly Hills goes no. Nope. Nope. So Beverly Hills is this little enclave that and Malibu does this too. Malibu's up on the beach and Malibu goes no to a lot of this. No defunding of the cops, you know, all that stuff. However, Beverly Hills just got, got a little bad news in the most LA way ever, by the way, because the judge who delivered this ruling, and so here's what the ruling is. They want Beverly Hills to have affordable house. Now, by the way, I don't know why this, and I'm dead serious here. They want Beverly Hills to have affordable housing

for poor people. I couldn't think of a worse place to be poor than Beverly Hills. I'm 38. I was poor till I was 34. Not poor like, don't come at me and be like, you weren't real. Did you live in Apple? That's not what I mean. That's not what I mean. I mean that I for the 10 years I did comedy before I succeeded on any level. I didn't have a lot of money. You know, it's fun when you don't have a lot of money. You know what's fun when you don't have a lot of money? Living in New York City, grabbing dollar slices of pizza,

smoking cigarettes with your buddies on a roof. That's what's fun. And I'm sure there's tons of other college towns and old houses. You know what's not fun place to live when you're poor? Beverly Hills. There's nothing worse than getting a $19 smoothie when you're broke in Beverly.

I don't know other than if this is exclusively for maids, if that's what the affordable housing is, for like maids and people that work in Beverly Hills. But if you're just regular broke, not like you just got to America yesterday. I mean like you're just regular broke and you're not, you know, things are like, it's not the place to be. I genuinely don't know why it's a good idea to put affordable housing in one of the richest cities in the world.

Is it a point? Is it we're making a point? We're making a point? Going like, hey, hey, hey, millionaires, your fund's over. Here they come. But are we thinking at all about the people that are down on their luck? Or maybe they're not down on their luck. And by the way, what is Beverly Hills version

of affordable housing gonna be for people that make 400 grand a year? Is that what we're talking about? I don't think that's what we're, I think we're talking about low income housing, low income for people that have low incomes, right? And I know that it's like, there's this thing like, well, you know,

cause everybody talks about the idea that like, people that have a lot of money should have to have low income housing in their community. But if your entire little city that you've created is exclusively by and for rich people, it's kind of a shitty place to live if you're broke. It's actually like not that fun. So I'm not understanding the wisdom

of having affordable housing in Beverly Hills. And by the way, I'm open to, I'm not, like everyone now, like they'll be like, oh, you're constantly siding with the rich people. I'm just fleshing out why this makes sense or doesn't make sense. It's the same thing I said to my jet broker, Dirk. I said, I don't understand. No, this is what they've decided.

They've decided that they're going to halt construction permits in Beverly Hills They're going to halt them until there's more affordable housing Until there is more affordable housing what that means is that you cannot do a any any Permit, we're not talking about you building the big 20,000 square foot now I'm talking about a bathroom a kitchen the stairs the deck anything you might need you cannot get a permit to do construction on the

potentially dangerous situation in your house until there is more affordable housing for the poor people of Beverly Hills. Follow all the logic here. I'm- the potholes in this are large enough you can't even drive a car down the street, but fine. California and the judge, the judge who delivered this ruling, the judge who delivered the and by the way, this could also be you own an apartment building in Beverly Hills and you want to repair something that your tenants have complained about. Correct me if I'm wrong.

You couldn't get a permit to do that, Right? Correct. No permits, no permits. So to the people living in Beverly Hills, in apartments that might be broke and not living in up to code or good apartments that their landlords need to fix for whatever reason, they can also not get permits until there's more affordable housing. I don't know if that means like greenlighting the affordable. I don't know if that means like green lighting the affordable I don't know if they need to see the ground. Are we breaking ground? I don't I don't know what needs happen the judge Curtis a kin Block the city from issuing all building permits except for new Residential development as a penalty for Beverly Hills failure to approve a sufficient blueprint for affordable housing. Curtis A.

Kin. Now, who is this judge? Decent looking, young Asian American male. Now, okay, like anybody who should be weighing in on local politics, he was a contestant on Big Brother, the judge who is now presumably getting back at the producers of Big Brother by telling them they cannot renovate their kitchen island in Beverly Hills. This radical judge, because it is radical to say nobody can do anything, was a contestant on Big Brother. California is burning in exactly the way it should. It is being taken down by ex-reality stars.

It is being shredded. And by the way, California, and Victor Davis Hans had talked about this recently. The only reason they can get away with the level of insanity they get away with, other than the weather, which is not even that great, everyone goes, the weather, the weather, the weather's fine. But the reason they can get away with other than the weather, which is not even that great. Everyone goes, the weather, the weather, the weather's fine. But the reason they can get away with it is

because they have this $9 trillion market cap in Northern California where all the tech companies are. That's why people like Newsom and all these people are celebrities, right? Like, you know, Gavin Newsom and Feinstein and Pelosi, they're celebrities because they're backed by all this big tech money they never lose and they're allowed to kind of get away with wacky stuff

that people in New York couldn't get away with because again, all of that is the largest consolidation of wealth ever in the history of the world and it's in Northern California. So they can get away with stuff that you just couldn't get away with if you didn't have that. So this judge, Curtis A. Kin, can we find, uh, any of him speaking, whether it's on big brother or not? Is there any, this is a Curtis A. Kin. Can you imagine the, he imagined your, you cannot renovate your home because the judge who was a contestant on big brother, is not allowing you. Do you want him on big

brother? Do you want him just talking because we got both? Let's see him on Big Brother. Let's see the origin story. I want to know where this guy comes from. Who is this guy? Not that I think I'm so great, but the show is about people. We are those people. It's not about the game show. Mankind is bigger than the show. Yeah, it's what we would do to one another, whatever. And so even if he's wrong about what the premise fundamentally was in the beginning, there is something that we do have. It's a two-way street of negotiation, I suppose. I mean, California really deserves this guy. Was he elected? No, he was appointed by Jerry Brown. He was appointed. Okay. And he's the judge here. Does he give any rationale for this ruling?

I don't pull other than the fact that he's like, you know, where broke people really want to live? The Beverly Hills, they want to buy a $80 cheese at the cheese shop. And then by the way, the LA times go up to that because the LA times knows what they're doing. They go in Beverly Hills, no kitchen remodels or pool grottoes as judge orders of building moratorium over lack of affordable housing. So again, it's like they're, you know, everyone's just a fix in their pool grotto and a, you know, hitting homeless people with a stick go by the way and ask who this is helping go to the people on fentanyl living on the street and ask them if they're, if they feel better that no one's doing a pool.

Grot, it's the most insane thing. Oh, here's his logic right here. Here's his logic. Read his logic. The judge noted that Beverly Hills is counting on medical office buildings and car dealerships to convert to housing. So like the Audi dealership is apparently going to potentially become an apartment. All these defunct car dealerships along will show

The Audi dealership is gonna become an apartment for low-income people in Beverly Hills That's that that's the plan We have a hundred and ten thousand people on the street Many of them are rising in pain because they haven't had their fix Because they're addicted to drugs, which we just let come in and whatever. We buy them, we make them, whatever. And the response to that with a straight face is to convert the Audi dealership to seven

apartments. And if not, and if that doesn't happen soon, if that doesn't happen now, you cannot fix a crack in your deck. This is the, it's the stupidest idea. Can you imagine people that are broke going, I live in Beverly Hills now telling their friends, I live in Beverly Hills. Go, man, you've turned it around. Not really. I'm in this low income housing thing. It kind of sucks. It used to be an Audi dealership. They keep knocking on our doors and making us pee in a cup. Is that what's going to happen? By the way, is it going to be like enforced? Is that the kind of the game here? Maybe. I'm all for low income housing, by the way.

I'm all for people that don't have money being able to live, maybe I'm all for low income housing, by the way, I'm over people that don't have money being able to live places. I'm not saying that it's what I'm saying is that I don't understand the wisdom of putting them in the most expensive city and then one of the most expensive cities in the country. Other than getting back at it's not like there's a tremendous Other than getting back, it's not like there's a tremendous amount of resources right there for them that can be accessible. What are they going to start to do? What do they want to live near plastic surgeons? Is that important when you don't have a lot of money?

Is it important that you live near plastic surgery? That's what Beverly Hills is offering,astic surgeons. Is that what people want? Somebody said when you force too many sardines into a sardine can, you end up with something inedible. Well, they don't really know how to. The people in Beverly Hills don't know how to oppose this. They really don't know how to say like they need to listen to what I'm saying. Do you hear what I'm saying? Does anyone, how about that? Can anyone listen to what I'm I know people I A lot of influential people listen to the show this show is not the biggest show But it is a lot of very rich influential people people that are on presidential campaigns

People like the show that have a brain in their head that is what it is now Listen to what I oppose it like this. Don't call people sardines. I'm giving you the blueprint of how we can get this out of there. If you listen to me, I'm not for, I'm my, I, I go to, I'm around that outy thing a lot. I'm telling you how we get rid of this the right way. Who said the sardine thing? Who's white? Why is white speaking? Said white of the municipal league? That's who they send out to oppose this. Someone named Thomas White

of the municipal league. Literally, this is the quote. This is the quote. You have too many Sardines. It turns into too many Sardines in a sardine can, it becomes like a- Inedible. Inedible, said white. That's what it says in the LA Times, said white. I'm telling you people the facts and the truth. Low income housing, here's the other thing people are not gonna want to admit.

And people are gonna get mad at me when I say this and God forbid I tell a lie here because I'm not telling a lie. Poor people really like other poor people. This is true. This is actually true. They get along. They get along. They get along.

They race the cars. You see them on YouTube. They get along. And it's, are they gonna like it? I don't think they're gonna like it. If you took a bunch of Daytona Beach white trash and dropped them off at the Colony Hotel in Beach. They're not going to like it because they want burgers and tits out waitresses. And it's okay. There's nothing wrong with that.

It's just everybody needs to do what they enjoy. I don't think low income people want to live in Beverly Hills. I'm, I'm my opposition to this is actually for them, not for me. I want them. I want as many low income people in Beverly Hills as pot. When I'm in Beverly Hills, I look around and I go, you know what this place needs? And by the way, there's already enough scumbags there because it's big for tourism. So a lot of D bags are already there. They're already there. There's a cheesecake factor. They already go They walk down rodeo drive with their fam. They're already there

We don't have to house them. We don't have to they can't we don't have to let them sleep in the outy dealership They got gotta go home. We gotta give low income Californians a reasonable, rational route to a life. And it is not shoving them in a luxury car dealership in Beverly Hills. That's not the answer. So that they can do what exactly? Coffee's $18.

What can they do there? Get a tit lift, a Brazilian butt lift, get a facelift, get their neck cut open. That's all people are doing in Beverly Hills is getting their neck stapled together and getting pills from their doctor. That's all it is. A town of people getting pills, filling prescriptions. That's all anyone in Beverly Hills is doing pretending to eat a salad and Filling prescriptions, that's what they're doing And now on top of that we're gonna have low-income people that can afford to do neither They can't afford to enjoy

Beverly Hills to give them a place they can enjoy Like Gilbert Arizona Enjoy that. There's probably a Chili's. Chili's, I like Chili's. It's good. You can race things in the dirt. They go fast.

Look how fast it goes in the dirt. But Beverly Hills who really enjoy it, you have to be filling a prescription. Have you ever heard the sound of pills in a bottle as they get wrapped tightly up in a nice little thing and handed to you? Your legal drug of choice. And you get right into your car and you and you put your hands on that heated steering wheel and you gobble one of those bad boys down with a nice feed or an aquapana and then

you sit your fucking ass in the car and you look both ways and you go right out on a Beverly Drive with a nice chalky pill taste in your throat and then you go home and you stare at yourself in the mirror and see if your neck stapling worked. That's what Beverly Hills is. You cannot put a bunch of people

that are not ready for that life. that are not ready for that life. They're not ready for that life. They're not ready. Poor people are actually very lovely and earnest, many of them. And they actually are good people. It's kind of cruel to force them into this den of snakes. And this is the track the people gotta take. Listen to me. This is what you gotta go out there and say,

go, we are bad. And we don't wanna ruin their lives by having them here, sleeping in our outie dealership. Just come out and go, we want the low income housing, but we want to make it good for them. So we got to take some time. We don't want to rush it. We don't want to. Who's the mayor of Beverly Hills?

I believe it's a woman. Who is it? Lily Boss. Get her up. Let me see this. Let me see this lady. Can I get a meeting with this woman? Of course. Can I sit down with this woman? Look at, look at, get her where she's holding the microphone. That's right.

OK, she's had some, she's had a couple of things done, hasn't she? And they look good. Get her in the green outfit. Get her a winter, she's in a green outfit. The woman, this is the mayor of Beverly Hills. She's dressed like money. She's dressed like cause she looks like a hundred dollar bill. She's dressed Lily baby, Lily, Lily, Lily, Lily, Lily, Lily, Lily, Lily boss, boss, Lily the boss, Lily boss, Lily boss, Lily boss. Lily, Lily, Lily, Lily, Lily, Lily, Lily boss, boss, Lily, the boss, Lily boss, Lily boss, Lily boss, Lily my Lily my Lily love, my Lily lady love. You gotta go out there and you gotta say, of course we want to enrich our community with spums. But we have to do it the right.

This is what she should do. She get out, grab the mic and go. Listen to me. I'm Lily, Lily boss for the mayor of Beverly Hills. Every night I look at my husband and tell him to get off his phone. And I tell him, when I look deeply into his eyes, I say husband, Farhad, whatever his

name is, I say, listen to me. I want more low income residents in Beverly Hills, but it has to be done perfectly. And every night we discuss it, because he's a property developer. And every night we discuss how to do it, how we can do it properly. For example, here's a thought, here's a thought. Look at what Hamas has done with tunnels. 450 miles of tunnels, I think the New York Times said. Are you telling me we cannot build low income housing

in tunnels under Beverly Hills like Hamas did? Can we not do that? Some people that are friends with Hamas live in Beverly Hills in very big homes. Can we ask those people how it's done? Is it impossible that we can't build underground tunnels for low income people that also have skylights where they can see?

Is that a bad idea? No, no it's not. It's one of my many good, and that's what Lily should say. Lily should say that in tragedy, there is opportunity in researching the Hamas Terra network after the tragic events of October 7th, me and my husband were stunned at the intricacy of the tunnel system. We believe that we can accomplish something like that in Beverly Hills, a fully functioning subterranean city for low income residents

that has all the things that they need, check cashing places, places where they fry food, tattoos that you can go get with your children, all in a tunnel network, an intricate tunnel network, Doug underneath Beverly Hills. It's not a bad idea. Not a bad idea. People are all up there into this Timahoothey Chalamet. They say he's a Houthi fighter. He's hot. They say it looks like Chalamet fighter with terrorists on hijacked ship banned from tick after going viral as hot, Houthi pirate. Let him be hot on TikTok. He's going to die. We're going to kill him. Nobody's going to win against America. Stop.

Stop. A Houthi, the Yemeni pirates are going to win. Let him be hot for the last few minutes of his life. Let him be attractive. He is very attractive. I'm sure he's all death to America. That's not turning any of us off, by the way. People are gonna flick their bean to you and jerk their cocks to you all night. You can fucking say death to America all you want.

It doesn't matter. We are still gonna fucking whack it to the idea of you fucking us on that boat now Does he say anything does he talk? I think he might but this is a video. Is it death to America? No, you want to just watch this one let's watch it How great is it by the way that we this is the way you turn you turn these Yemeni fighters into gay sex symbols that's how you win the war because they become too embarrassed to fight of course there's only one good-looking. Many of them are probably a mess. Yeah. Let's see the rest of the video. ["Wayna Malaya"]

By the way, it's like, I'm not trying to be critical here, but like, is this what terrorism is now? Because like, when I grew grew up terrorism was actually like killing people. Like this is just your, I'm, you're hot on a boat. Is that what terrorism is now? You're just gonna be hot on a boat? Aren't like what's, what?

We're supposed to cringe when we see what you're doing. We're not supposed to start masturbating. When we watched a terrorist video when I was up, we'd be like, Jesus fuck, oh my God, Daniel Pearl, any of that stuff. This video only makes me wanna jerk my cock. That's not good terrorism. Terrorism is supposed to not make you wanna flick your bean. It's supposed to make you very disgusted and scared

and terrified. I am the opposite of scared when I see this. If this is what we're up against, Twinks in the ocean, that's where we're up against. These people are so dead, they're so dead. We'll just bond them with fucking fat people. One person that lives in Cleveland could take out that whole boat and crush this. Let's see the rest of this. Does he say anything? Does he do anything?

I think he's just like a thirst. Not even a death to America? He's doing a third strap. He's about to die! Well, nothing's like it used to be. I'm getting to that age now where I look at the world and I long for when things made sense. Jihadi Depp. Terrorism used to be about cutting people's heads off or lighting them on fire, not just sitting there and being hot on TikTok in a boat.

There's no values anymore. No one has any values. We used to respect our terrorists. Yes, we created them and funded them, but who cares? They were important to the whole narrative. We respected them, because they kept doing increasingly crazier shit. The bombings, the beheadings, the burnings, now they're hot. This isn't going to work.

We're falling in love with them, but maybe that is their new plan. To just be hot. Just be hot and sexy. Maybe they've gotten as lazy as we are. We're the lazy ones. You guys are out working. That's why we give you all this money. Our enemies have to work. That's the rules. We give you the money and the weapons, you go do heinous shit, and then we go kill all of you. And then when that runs out, we give more of you money and we, and everybody back to one. Lights, camera, action, rolling, Gilbert Goons, Daywise, you're right in the chair. Right in the chair. Sound and I'm, hello? Hi.

Cut. Hi. How are you? Put the iguana on the left of him. I want, yeah, I understand. I'm tipped because I have a cactus on the right. I want an iguana on the left. Are iguanas not in Arizona?

They're not. That's more of a Miami thing. Is there a, well what is the lizard with the beard? When the beard goes out like the dragon, can we do that? Because let's end on that, because we do a close up of the kids and then we end on the, because the beard takes you,

you know what I mean? Takes you really into it. So we're trying to go into the heart of it. Me, I own the, I'm the whole story, this whole thing. That's what I do. Okay, no, no, no, I respect everyone. We all have jobs. I got it.

We all have jobs. We all have jobs. That's great. Sarah Snook as the mom from Succession. How about that? Sarah fucking Snook. We attach her. Siobhan Roy, one of the greats.

Sarah Snoke, we attach as the mom. As the mom of one of the goons. She could do an American accent. She's a fucking killer. Snoke is on board. Look at her. This is the mom of the goon. Sarah Snoke.

For the one of the goons, we gotta do like a... Who's a Gilbert Goon type? Fuck. Somebody from Euphoria? No, they're all 40. Do the kid from the Mickick that Thomas bar bar bar, the mick kid. Yeah, that guy, but he's older now. Go to that. Go to good. Down, down, down, down, down. Gilbert Goon. Yes. Gilbert Goon. Big, big and big. Gilbert Goon. That's the

we cast him. He's in. Go down, go down this more. Go to the hat right there. There it is. Good. There we go. I'm telling you, I will have a show here that will be amazing. Amazing. Amazing. Tim Dillon comedy.com. Where can you find me? Tim Dillon comedy.com. Where can you see me? San Antonio this weekend, next weekend, whatever weekend, San Antonio, Dallas, Atlanta, St. Louis, Indianapolis, West Niaq just announced, Levity Live, Great Club, trying to get some fun clips. Boston, three shows at the Wilbur,

almost sold out, probably adding a fourth. Foxwoods, Chicago, we're going back to the improv. You know why? Cause it's a lot of the same material from Chicago theater. I just love Chicago and it's an hour outside. It's Schomburg. It's kind of a different market. We're just going to be having a lot of fun. Those shows Chicago is one of my favorite places to do comedy. Dania beach, Florida at the Dania beach improv, which I believe is around Fort Lauderdale. I'll be staying in Palm Beach. Um, Temecula, Indio, Phoenix, Phoenix, Atlantic City, New Jersey,

typical comedy.com. I will tell you this folks. Again, I had just visited, uh, Palm Beach. There was, it is my home spiritually. Sadly, not felt at more at peace than I do there. When you observe me there, do you feel I'm at peace? Yeah, it's like your natural habitat. I've never been in a place where I, it just clicks. It works. It just fits. And and that's the thing. It's just something nice about it. You know, something nice about it. And you won't hear that you

want your Palm Beach judge says no renovations until affordable, you know, there's no judge in Palm Beach. It was on big brother. So many people stopped me in the street and they say, um, do you know how I can help myself from the government. And I go, well, and they go, not just the government spying, but private companies harvesting my data online, selling it, and then using it to market me things. I go, I gotta be honest with you. This is a pretty common problem. They go, really? I go, I gotta be honest with you. This is a pretty common problem. They go, really?

I go, yeah. I go, have you heard of ExpressVPN? And they said, no. I said, listen, when you go online without a VPN, internet service providers can see every single website you visit. They can legally sell this information without your consent to add companies and tech giants who use your data to target you. And they go, that's what I'm fucking saying. I said, you can go to all the Netflix's in all the world, Korean Netflix, Iran, because your VPN disguises where you are, scrambles your IP address. There are things on UK Netflix you wanna watch, but you can't, now you can. This is when they start losing their minds.

It's easy to use. Fire up the app and click one button. It works on all your devices, phones, laptops, even routers so everyone who shares your wifi can be protected. I love it, even routers, so everyone who shares your Wi-Fi can be protected. I love it. I use it. And everyone I've ever met uses it. And everyone I've ever met who hasn't used it, sadly, is no longer with us.

Secure your online activity by visiting ExpressVPN.com slash Tim Dillon today. That's expressvpn.com slash Tim J Dillon and you can get an extra three months free. Expressvpn.com slash Tim Dillon. But to my brothers and sisters in Beverly Hills, stay strong. Stay strong. It's a night fight out there, as has been said to me about other places. And I hope everybody gets to, I hope everything works out for everybody. I want, I want, and it feels like it won't happen, but my birthday's coming up and I want Israel and Palestine for my birthday to just do a, just chill, do a big big concert get jelly roll and have fun have a little fun god damn it come see me on the road good night