The Tim Dillon Show - 401 - Secret Service Sloped Roof Party
Episode Date: July 20, 2024Tim goes deep on the sloped roof at the Trump shooting, social workers, the Secret Service, what the CIA wants, Tenacious D’s tour being cancelled, gender notifications and the new kids. American R...oyalty Tour 🎟 https://www.timdilloncomedy.com/ SPONSORS: PrizePicksDownload The App & Use Code ‘TIM’ For A First Deposit Match Up To $100!” ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show.
My president has COVID.
My president has COVID.
My strong leader has COVID.
He's sick.
He's sick.
He's sick.
He's sick.
What are you going to do about it?
We wish him well.
Langley is trying to get rid of everybody.
Langley is trying to wipe the slate clean. The darlings at Langley
want everybody out. They want everybody out. They're trying to just fucking clean house.
Biden now has COVID. Who coughed on him? Which billionaire sent someone to cough on Biden?
He has COVID.
How would you even tell that he has COVID, by the way?
How would he tell?
He definitely did not report his symptoms.
He has no idea what's going on.
There's no way he woke up and knew he had any symptoms
Is this a video of him?
This is him. I think like the day or the day before that the kovat diagnosis came out and he just word salad
If you were to have continue to run and be officially nominated
What happens if you have another episode like we saw during the debate?
What happens if you have another episode like we saw during the debate?
What happened? Yeah, what happened? What happens if you have another performance on that par on that level? I
Don't plan to have another first. Yeah, you get a get a Scranton Joe Scranton Joe and Joe. Now the Secret Service is out there saying that they didn't put
anybody on that roof because it was sloped. The head of the Secret Service,
Kim Cheadle, I believe her name is, is out there saying we didn't put anybody on
the roof because it was sloped. You can get that up that Insane reasoning and the slope of that roof by the way is that it's the slightest pitch
You easily would have gone on that roof to smoke weed as a teenager
It would not have stopped you the slope of that roof would have stopped
No one if you were getting a blowjob on that roof you would have been on the roof if somebody had weed on the roof
You would have been on the roof. That is not a
would have been on the roof. If somebody had weed on the roof, you would have been on the roof. That is not a sloped roof. By the way, there are secret surfers everywhere. There
are secret service snipers on a sloped roof. They're lying to people now like it's like
Dr. Seuss, where it's like a nursery rhyme. You know, they're like, we were gonna put someone
on the roof, but they said nope,
because the roof was sloped.
So we couldn't do anything at all
because the Secret Service agents might fall.
It's nursery rhymes, they're not even trying anymore.
This is a
Literally one of the most offensive
lies I've ever heard that the
roof Sloping was the reason that they did not clear the roof. They also came out and blamed the local cops
They tried to throw them under the bus. They're like, well, we're the Secret Service,
but we still need the local cops, the local bumpkin cops. Those guys, that's their fault.
It's the local bumpkin cops, which would have done a better job than the Secret Service,
because we would imagine and hope that the local cops weren't like the Secret Service in on the plot. They were in on it. They might
not have known, not all of them. But if you follow the things, it's very hard to dismiss
the idea or the notion that this was somehow in some way allowed to happen.
This is a massive security breach,
failure by the Secret Service.
And they are, the reasons that they are giving for this
are an insult to your intelligence.
And I don't even care how dumb you are.
And there's a lot of people out there
that are incredibly dumb
Let's watch this woman who by the way if we can just can we can we convict by look and facial expression and
cadence and tone
Judge
We are submitting into evidence look
facial expression
cadence and tone Here is Kim Cheadle, who
is giving the very plausible explanation for why the Secret Service allowed a guy to climb
on a roof and then shoot at the President.
By the way, 30 minutes earlier, they were told of this guy.
We'll go into all of that, but let's watch this very guilty woman first.
That building in particular has a sloped roof at its highest point.
And so, you know, there's a safety factor that would be considered there that we wouldn't want to put somebody up on a sloped roof.
And so, you know, the decision was made to secure the building from inside.
What? There was a safety reason that we didn't want to put somebody on the sloped roof? Because
they fall. If someone's on a sloped roof, they fall, they hurt their knee. That's not
even a building that falling off it would kill you. You might not even break your leg.
This is the craziest thing. Here's a, what is this a TikTok? That guy is a TikTok of an hour before the shooting. This guy, Matthew, David Crooks is just walking around. I don't know this building
like dancing with a gun or something. Let's just see what he was doing.
What is going on?
What is going on? You can see he like a scarecrow like something out of a fucking A24 movie. He's a zombie walking around the outskirts of the building.
Look at this guy.
This is crazy.
Are you telling me that's not suspicious?
That's the most suspicious thing I've ever seen in my life.
If everybody is engaged in this rally and we're all looking one way, okay? And they're doing whatever they're doing, you know,
make America great again, they're doing the chant,
they're getting down, they're doing the dance,
they're doing the call and response, whatever is going on.
And then one guy is wandering around the perimeter
looking at his feet.
What the,- this guy...
Now I'm gonna get in trouble for saying this.
Now. Cause people are gonna think I've lost my mind or I'm out of control.
I want you to play this again.
Does this guy seem like he's in his right mind?
Does he see- is this guy under the influence of some type of mind control or something?
What's going on here?
What is happening?
I'm not trying to say that he's some MKLTRA mind control victim, although many of our
shooters have been.
I'm just saying it looks odd.
And the idea that they come out and go, well, it was on a sloped roof and we couldn't do
anything because we wouldn't want any of our agents to what slide down the sloped roof
and fall?
It's the craziest thing I've ever heard.
Also, they were told about this guy like 20 to 30 minutes before the shooting. They were given an indication that this guy was around
and he's got no social media.
And the only things people say about him are that he was lonely and he was
bullied and he tried to get into a gun club, but he couldn't,
cause he wasn't a good shot at his school. Oh here
he is. Is this him? Yeah this is him talking to kids in class a couple years ago saying
he's got a 10 inch penis and I go to Stanford University. I have a 10 inch
penis. So by the way, they're looking at his phones down to try to get all the info and
you know, there's all these terabytes of data they're breaking down to try to discern a
motive. They don't have any motive why this guy tried to shoot the president shot the
president, right? He shot his ear.
Um, and they're saying now that they just, you know, are, are trying to put some stuff together, but they said like preliminary reports are coming out and
they're saying that like, well, he was interested in high profile people,
regardless of politics and stuff like that, which is kind of everybody.
Everybody's interested in high profile people.
That's literally everyone on the internet read stories about high profile
people. So again, it's a weird thing Thomas Matthew Crooks parents were licensed social workers,
by the way, I'm telling you right now, every social worker I know is a sick person who has
a God complex and has a fetish who is really, really sick. Everyone I know and that and I'm not and I'm not
trying to be rude but I'm saying that every social worker I know it does not
help anyone and does barely tries to. They are they like tragedy, they hunt it
down, they find it, they want to be in it. They love it. They love going into a
dirty house where kids are getting beat and not helping those kids.
That's every social worker I know.
They are lazy people that enjoy chaos and hell.
And that's what they do.
And I know that people are gonna hate that.
And they're gonna go, no, they do a lot of good work,
actually, you fat fuck.
They do a lot of good work.
Do they?
Do they?
Do they? No no they don't most
of them don't most of them literally show up to house with a clipboard go what's up they did they
beat you again yesterday yep all right make a little note of it and then they leave and then
they walk out they do nothing and those are the people we want to replace the cops with oh yeah
what did they do they raped and beat Beach? I'm sorry. Oh sorry,
I put it in the file. Raped and beaten on Wednesday at two o'clock. Do you think it was two o'clock?
Was the rape at two? And the beating was throughout the rape and then after beating after rape and
throughout rape. And they just lack, they can't do anything to help anyone and I'm not saying they're
bad people. Many of them, I don't know, might be. But I'm saying they can't do anything to help anyone. And I'm not saying they're bad people, many of them, I don't know, might be,
but I'm saying they can't do anything.
So there's something about a job where all you do
is witness horror and you're powerless to help it.
That concerns me that people even like doing it.
It's very weird.
They're powerless to help
and they keep showing up to see the horror.
It's straight, it's like if doctors couldn't operate
on anyone and they just
wanted to hang out around the hospital just to hang out with sick people. So Matthew Thomas Crooks,
Thomas Matthews Crooks, parents were social workers. They were licensed social workers among
the swirling unanswered questions about what drove a 20 year old Pennsylvania man to very nearly kill
the former president. By the way, how about what drove a 20 year old Pennsylvania man to very nearly kill the former president.
By the way, how about what drove the Secret Service to not be on the roof?
Like, why don't we focus?
And I know that there's a bunch of articles about that, but you could see this narrative
emerging where they're like, what was, what was this kid?
How have we failed him as a society?
How have we failed him?
What did we?
And it's like, guys, I'm really much more
concerned with why the Secret Service wouldn't put a guy on a slightly pitched roof. Why
that they didn't do anything about this guy having been, uh, people have pointed this
guy out to them. They didn't do anything about it. Um, Matthew Brian Crooks and Mary Elizabeth
Crooks residents of Bethel Park, Pennsylvania, hold active licenses as professional social workers.
Records from the Pennsylvania Licensing Verification Service indicate that both have been licensed
in 2002.
These people are not talking to the press.
Yeah, they're not talking to the press.
Interesting. Yeah, they're not talking to the press.
Interesting.
Nobody's coming out and there's a few of his classmates that are saying stuff. A few of his classmates are coming out and being like, yeah, man.
He sucked. Let's look at, let's watch, oh, here they are.
Let's watch some of his classmates.
In what way can you explain?
Um, I mean he would sit alone at lunch.
I mean he was just a outcast and you know how kids are nowadays so they're gonna see
someone like that and they're gonna target him because they think it's funny or whatever.
So it's the best way I can describe it.
It's honestly kind of sad.
I don't want to say this is what provoked it, but you never know.
You said it was a lot of fun.
By the way, they just handed him that index card.
They're like, and perfect.
Thank you very much.
They're like, and can we go to the next kid?
The next kid's like, well, I didn't know him that well, but it's a shame the availability
of guns in this country.
I'm not saying that's what provoked it, but the Secret Service is very brave, and I'm happy to have them.
All of the—by the way, that thing—I mean, I don't want to go full fucking Sandy Hook here,
but like, this is odd. Like, this just is odd, where this guy's like, this is odd, like this just is odd where this guy's like, he was a lonely kid.
That's sad.
I'm not saying that's what provoked it,
but it's like, what is this?
You're all outcasts.
You're all outcasts.
Look at you.
I want to say he was a loner more because he was just,
he was quiet, but like he was just bullied.
Like he was bullied so was quiet, but like he was just only that he was bullied
so much so much.
This high school. Yeah.
What did they still remember all of the said to him or
called him.
He's just made fun of I guess for the way he dressed his
appearance.
And cut
very good now you're doing great. We like you. When you deliver the line about
his appearance, look away. It's very, it's very, yes, yes. When you deliver the line,
he was bullied and then, and then we're going to ask you what and you know, you want to
say something fine, but you don't have to. You can say you don't remember, but then you're
going to say something about for his appearance.
Okay, and then look away. We're gonna take this one more time. Okay, everybody speed. We're ready. And I mean, it's just it's
I'm just kidding. Everything's fine. Everything's fine. My president has COVID. Secret service director chased out by officials
amid calls to resign.
People really want this woman out.
They want her out.
They're going get out.
So let's watch this.
This is a lot of videos today.
It's a lot of multimedia folks.
We're in the heat of it.
We're in the throes of it.
This is the secret service director
and let's say people are unhappy with her. This is exactly what you're doing today.
This was an assassination attempt. You owe the people answers.
Who's that? Is that Marsha Blackburn?
Yes, yeah.
Oh wow. She's spunky. Tennessee?
Yes, yes, yes.
Interesting.
This is exactly what you were doing today. This was an assassination attempt.
You owe the beautiful answer.
Yeah, they're going to, I mean, like Alex said on the show,
it's like, I feel like if this was what it looks like it was,
this won't be the end of it, tragically.
And I'm hoping that, obviously, we
don't want any more craziness to happen.
But by the way, do you know that they've already apprehended a guy
at the RNC that had explosives, a guy with a knife?
They're already apprehending these.
I mean, it's like they're coming out of the woodwork now.
There's a lot of different people.
People have been arrested at the RNC, showing up with weapons,
you know, showing up, yeah, yeah.
Armed man in ski mask arrested
while approaching Republican National Convention perimeter
in Milwaukee.
You know, he was armed, a man armed with an AK-47 pistol
and wearing a ski mask, was arrested on Monday,
just blocks from the FISER forum where the Republican National Convention is being held in
Milwaukee. Inside the bag police found the gun and a full magazine. His
intentions were unclear. So by the way it's crazy pandemonium out there.
And by the way when you talk to people about this people are remarkably calm
and obviously I'm not saying we all have to lose our minds but it is interesting
people are very disconnected.
People are like wild times.
Like that's the most you're getting out of normies about any of this.
They're like,
what wild times,
wild times out there. And you're like, well,
maybe it requires more analysis than that.
Well, there's some wild times happening.
Well, I don't know.
I don't know if that's the only thing we should say about it.
But here this guy is, and they're coming, they're just coming out of the woodworks
and they've got AK-47s and knives and guns and explosives and they're all just showing up.
They're all just showing up. They're all just showing up.
And I, you know, hopefully none of this is a plot.
None of it's coordinated.
None of these people are, you know,
I'm hoping that that's the case.
That would be lovely.
But we have the most egregious failure of security.
We have the Secret Service.
This is remember it's like when Epstein died and they came out and they were like, the
guards fell asleep.
Remember that it was like their whole they were like the guards fell asleep.
They were tired.
And you go wait, but there's cameras.
Well they they stopped working.
It's like they used to put so much work into lying to us now
There's no work being put into the lies that should offend you the most the roof was sloped
What do you expect us to do? It's like bitch wait hold on
That's the fuck
It's really amazing that they don't put any work into the lying
They don't put any work into the lying. They don't put any work into the fucking lying anymore.
Man, they used to really come up with fucking good lies. It would take years and journalists
to unravel these lies. Now they just, I mean, it's like, it's just completely insane what they'll get
away. The cameras stopped working and everybody fell asleep. That's
what happened. The roof was sloped. Move on. Yes, he was just, everybody was enjoying the
rally and then there was this zombie guy with an AK-47 walking around, but nobody noticed
them really. People saw him and yelled about it, but we didn't know what to do. We relied
on the local cops and it was a sloped roof so we couldn't put anyone on there.
We couldn't clear it.
Shut up.
The president's healthy.
Everything's fine.
The president is fine.
Joe Biden is fine.
He's doing well.
Now, I don't know how these plots work.
I've read lots of books about these things, but I don't really know.
I don't know how these things happen.
But I imagine that this Secret Service woman looks, you
can see in her face by the way, and I'm not saying anything negative about her, but you
can see in her face that there's some deep conflict, not that picture, but when she's
talking to, who is that Lester Holt? Who was she on the thing with?
An ABC reporter.
Whatever.
Well, when she's talking to him,
you can see she's clearly, there's conflict.
Play that again, play that clip again.
I want you to look at her.
There is something to be gained sometimes
from just looking at someone
and taking in their cadence, their tone,
how they're speaking.
And when she's speaking here, you can tell that she's kind of conflicted.
She may not know or have known what was going to happen.
They may have just, I don't know if she was a pawn here or she, but look at this woman
again.
Should that roof have been secure, period?
That building in particular has a sloped roof
at its highest point.
And so there's a safety factor that
would be considered there, that we wouldn't want to put
somebody up on a sloped roof.
And so the decision was made to secure the building
from inside.
She looks very kind of compromised.
And she doesn't fit. And't, she doesn't fit.
And obviously it's a serious thing.
It's a severe topic.
Look at that, look at that.
Does this look good?
This look good for anybody?
Well, the roof, well, well, well, well, well, well, we,
earlier that day, we did have a Secret Service agent go up
to the roof.
And he was having a Dairy Queen blizzard and
You know the blizzards where they hold them upside down unless they're free actually hold them upside down to show that the ice cream is So thick that it won't fall out of the cup
Well, I mean jokes on us because it was pretty hot that day and the ice cream actually started slipping out of the cup
And it was a Reese's peanut butter cup blizzard not the pieces the cups are relatively thick relatively thick. It came out of the cup, so now you just basically
have like a milkshake on the roof and got very slippery,
but you also have these little peanut butter cups
that are melting and creating a hazardous situation.
That's the reason the president got shot in the ear.
That's the reason, okay?
Americans will understand that, right?
They're pigs, they're pigs. They will understand that, right? They're pigs. They're pigs.
They'll understand that.
Well, you know what?
That roof was, it was all covered in raisin cane sauce
and it was too slick for anyone to get on.
We couldn't get on that roof with raisin cane.
See, we had a little secret service party.
You know how we do.
We got there a little early, got some fingers,
some Texas toast and went up there and got a
Little crazy and there was cane sauce all over the roof. It was too slippery
I don't even know how that shooter got on there. I just don't know
It's it's unreal. It's absolutely unreal
But I mean that's the people say to me all the time they're like, you know, you got to do an emergency thing
You got to do a reaction. We did one with Alex. We had two and a half million views. So far it was this epic thing. And we love
Alex for coming on and we appreciate it. But I mean, what do I have to say? It's the same thing
I have that we've all kind of thought and said, and that's that this is, if this isn't fishy,
nothing's fishy. If this doesn't smell, what does? If this doesn't, you know, smell like a rat,
whatever the term is, if something isn't wrong here,
what, when is it wrong?
Something seems like it's very wrong.
That the Secret Service cannot secure a roof 150 yards
from where the President is speaking
Seems like a major fucking problem
Five days or four days or whatever a week after the debate
Where we found out that the President the incumbent
President is in in advanced dementia. He's in advanced dementia
It's not like he's like has a mix ups here and there.
The incumbent president is in like, is almost dead.
His brain is failing.
And the people are like, no, behind closed doors,
he's better.
He's worse, he's absolutely much worse.
That doesn't mean he can't have moments of lucidity
and it doesn't mean he's not a smart guy.
It doesn't mean that he can't recall certain things,
but it means that he's completely incapable
of doing the job of the American president,
which is to sell weapons and start wars.
That's the job of the American president, to start wars and then sell weapons to one side or both
sides of the war. That's his job. Now he doesn't have to do much to do that.
This is where he thinks another woman is his wife.
Yeah.
Well, he wishes she was his wife because she's not a fake doctor.
Yeah.
He goes, Oh, right.
She's my wife.
That's amazing.
Biden's literally, he's literally going, Oh, I'll take this one.
I'll go with this one.
And then he sees Jill and he goes,
oh, the old ball and chain,
the woman who's making me continue to do this job.
I have to show up every day.
Well, you know, I watch politics like everyone does.
We all sit back and we watch it
and it's entertaining to a degree.
And then also it's also scary.
But CNN anchor says Trump defined a podium
is a bad message.
So I've seen Republicans lose elections.
I've seen the Democrats lose elections
and I usually know when they are gonna lose.
Like when Mitt Romney said that half of America
just doesn't wanna work or doesn't care about,
that's when he lost.
When the billionaire Mitt Romney or whatever whatever he was worth a lot of money
maybe not a billionaire but he's worth a lot of money and he came out and he was
like 47% of this country doesn't even care about anything you know that was
when he lost and I feel like this mentality here is why the Democrats are
going to lose this CNN anchor is saying it. Trump sent a bad message by saying fight, fight, fight.
After, and by the way, I think that Trump was in shock.
He thought he was dead, thought he was gonna die.
He probably thought he was shot fatally.
He didn't know.
And he said, let me get my shoes.
He was out of it.
He was in shock.
And I think when he said fight, fight, fight,
I think he was, which makes it all the more kind of badass, I think he thought that was the last thing he would
ever say or that anyone would ever see him say. So it was very interesting. I believe because he
didn't know there were shots fired, then there was blood, he was in shock, it was all a matter of
seconds. He didn't know. But let's see, the people at CNN who are again determined to lose at
all costs by historic margin.
Let's see this analysis.
I do want to say there was one thing that when I watched the tape, I found odd because
of all of the heated rhetoric.
And that is that after he was hit,
former President Trump got up and said, fight, fight, fight.
I think what we're hearing from people is
that's not the message that we wanna be sending right now.
We wanna tamp it down.
Right, right.
I would just know one thing on this.
That's a great point.
So the president who had just been shot
was sending a divisive message. Can you imagine these people? The president who had just been shot was at fault for the divisiveness,
having just been shot. The guy who got shot, who almost died, who a bullet missed his head by, you know, centimeters.
I mean, you see that thing, it's crazy,
the way that they, that, you know, analysis
of the bullet going past his head.
This guy who then gets up and says to his people,
fight, fight, fight, he gives this historic photo.
I've talked to big liberals about it.
They go, this is the most impressive political act
I've seen in years, years. And somebody's on CNN going, actually, we felt the message
was a bit divisive. We're actually disappointed in the wording. We don't love the wording
of that. I wish he had kind of workshopped that a bit as he was being bloodily dragged
off the stage by the Secret Service. I wish he had kind of, I don bit as he was being bloodily dragged off the stage by the Secret
Service.
I wish he had kind of, I don't know, taking people's temperature more.
We're trying to ramp it down.
Are you trying to tamp it?
Is that the Secret Service trying to ramp it down when there's nobody on a fucking roof?
Is that what they were trying to do?
Trying to ramp it down?
A week ago, Biden goes, let's put them in the bullseye.
Were they trying to ramp it down?
Trying to ramp it down when years ago Maxine Waters goes, if you see anybody
from this administration in a restaurant,
create a crowd, confront them, scream, yell,
tell them you are not welcome here.
That's Maxine Waters.
I mean, political violence is never good.
It's never the answer.
It's not the answer on January 6th.
It's not the answer with Antifa.
No good comes from attacking innocent people,
No good comes from attacking innocent people,
destroying people's private property,
killing people in the streets. Violence is, it's like a cancer.
It grows, it spreads, it's incredibly destructive force
that cannot be marshaled.
And the people that unleash it often can't control it.
All these idiot, Congress people, senators,
members of the media, when these riots were going on
over George Floyd, they were like,
oh, we can control this violence.
We can use it for our political ends.
We think some of this violence is good.
Punch Nazis, we'll decide who's a Nazi.
And then you go punch them, you know,
confront these people in the street, do all this stuff.
People like me were getting accused,
or what are you, a Nazi sympathizer?
I'm like, no, I just think that establishing
a pretty reasonable standard that violence isn't okay
no matter what anyone believes,
and that the best way to actually deal
with people's beliefs is to ignore them not attack them violently or
Is to present better beliefs that make more sense because that's how civilization works or should
But this whole idea that violence is now the whole thing. So now we have people walking around the RNC with
machetes guns, you know, who knows
Bags of bombs come on, you know the the dent and you're going to hear about it.
You're going to read there was a man stopped with a suitcase
and the, and, and hopefully they get everybody.
Hopefully they get them all.
Where are they coming from?
Who are these people?
Where are they?
Are they, you know,
I don't know. Nobody knows. His intentions were unclear. This guy that they get.
So we know that the national security apparatus wants Trump to lose.
We know that they spent years saying he was an asset of Russia. We know that after he left office, you know,
he was indicted multiple times, this, that, the other. Whatever you think of Donald Trump,
whether you agree with him politically, I agree with some things he does and not others,
but whatever you do see, he's some type of threat to these people or they think he is.
They think it's like Putin with the Ukraine.
Putin believes they're a threat if they join NATO.
The CIA believes Trump is a threat,
whether he is or not, it remains to be seen.
They believe he is.
All of these establishment people believe he's a threat.
Okay, we can establish that.
It's not a big jump.
It's not a cred.
It's not to say that there aren't good people
in the intelligence agencies.
And I'm sure some of them want Americans to,
you know, prosper and thrive and have good lives,
but a lot of them don't work for the American people,
really, and never have.
They work for a small cotter of billionaires that
has interests that need to be protected all over the world and those intelligence operatives
pave the way and clear the way for those people to do what they want. And then they go, well,
that's for the American people, but it's not. It's for a few zip codes. It's not for the American people. It's not the CIA is not working
For the American people all the time occasionally they are sometimes they are
sometimes they are a lot of times they're not and
We don't know what's going on. This is the problem right now where we are in this country
We have no idea what's going I've never been
Alive during a period of more
uncertainty than right now. When you talk to people, people are almost like trauma victims to a
certain degree where they're kind of disassociating from it. They can't understand or face it. They
can't accept how bad things have gotten, how quickly. can't understand it, don't want to fathom the idea
that there could be power struggles going on, you know, in ways that they could never imagine,
that the government isn't united, that there's different factions that are warring and stuff,
and I don't want to sound like a QAnon nut job. I don't want to sound like somebody who thinks that,
you know, Ellen DeGeneres is a clone or something,
or she's in jail awaiting trial.
I mean, how lovely would that be?
But I don't believe it's the truth.
Now, what I think it is, is that a lot of people are
agnostic.
They just don't know.
And I would, I don't know either. It looks very, very, very, very bad.
It looks bad. That's all you can say. I don't have facts. I don't have anything at my fingertips.
I've had conversations with really, really smart people that are plugged in. None of them can
put their finger on something. All we can
say is, is, does not look good. If you're an honest person, I don't care who you have supported,
it's un, it's unimportant. You could hate Trump. You could think Hillary Clinton is great. It's
unimportant. This looks bad. If Hillary got shot in the ear and this was the case with the secret
servants, I would be like, what's going on? I would say that.
I would, you know, it's not a political thing.
It's an issue of like, what the fuck is going on?
What the fuck is going on?
But I do think that's right.
It was such a nasty message, he said.
Fight, fight, fight.
Such a nasty message.
What happened with Jack Black?
They kicked him out.
They're not representing him anymore.
Oh yeah, the Tenacious D, the other guy.
What happened?
He made a comment about how it was basically,
it was like an anti-Trump after the assassination.
What did he say?
You have a video of it?
I'll pull up here.
You know, I think that.
A lot of people are going to say a lot of stuff.
I don't think we should go and prosecute,
persecute, whatever every person who says something dumb right now.
A lot of people are going to make jokes,
obviously, because this is, you know, people make jokes.
This is, you know, this is how people deal with tough times and bad times.
And I don't know what, I don't know what this guy said, but I don't think it's such a huge
thing.
Probably.
I don't know.
No, here's what he said.
Okay.
Happy birthday, make a wish, Canada. Don't miss Trump next time. Thank you.
Well, it's, you know.
You know.
Obviously, it's not the best thing to say.
I don't think.
And I think that's the way it is.
I think that's the way it is.
I think that's the way it is.
I think that's the way it is.
I think that's the way it is.
I think that's the way it is. I think that's the way it is. You know, obviously it's not the best thing to say, I don't think.
Anytime you celebrate an attempted assassination attempt of a popular figure, people are going
to get upset.
And they kicked out, what did they drop Jack Black?
Somebody got rid of him.
They canceled the tour.
I'm pretty sure some of the agencies are distancing themselves from him, and yeah.
Not good.
So nice to have a tour canceled,
that I just go home and go to sleep.
They'll never cancel my, they'll never cancel my tour.
I will be on the road.
They will never, they don't care what I say.
They will be like, great, go to Reno.
That's good, you know, you think about what you said on the way to Reno you think about it on the way to Salt
Lake City you go do it now we're disappointed in you go to Reno go to
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Kid, Dalton adults are becoming the top toy buyers. Well, this is a positive. This is a fun story
Well, finally we have a fun story
Something positive adults are playing with toys
Finally something nice and sweet and good
Adulter are the ones going out and buying toys. It's not kids anymore.
By the way, we've stolen everything from children. Halloween used to be for
children. We stole that. We stole video games from children. We're stealing
everything and now we're stealing toys. Everything that children used to have
adults take and make their own and then make weirdly perverted so
kids almost can't have it back like they take Halloween and just make it into
like some orgy and then it's like kids can't even have it back so God only
knows what they're gonna do with toys. Data shows that adults 18 and up have
surpassed kids ages 3 to 5 to become the biggest customer
demographic for the toy industry.
I'm going to say that again.
I'm going to say that again.
I'm going to say that again because some of you might be going, wait a minute, hold on.
I'm driving in my car.
Maybe you're on a sloped roof and you're just trying to stabilize yourself.
Let me say it again. Data shows that adults 18 and up have surpassed children ages three to five to
become the biggest customer demographic for the toy industry.
The so-called kid-dulting trend, God help us, is bringing these grownups back to
the toy aisle from Funko popsops to action figures to comic books.
Management at Collector's Marketplace says
that the bottom line is that nostalgia sells.
During the pandemic, a lot of adults were searching
for normalcy and found some of it
in memories from their youth.
It created a boom in toy and collectible sales.
It definitely has been riding a lot of nostalgia.
And I feel like in the middle of COVID, it gave people the opportunity to explore that area.
So what items are selling out to these kids?
Oh, it definitely depends on what's hot at the moment.
Like Spider-Man just around the corner, We're gonna have Deadpool and Wolverines.
We've already noticed there's an increase in those. A lot of Final Fantasy video game is super stuff is super popular comic books
really mostly in a bunch of anime.
Stores like the collector's market see a wide range of what people will pay. So here's what as life
becomes
unbearable in terms of what's happening around you,
trauma, traumatic.
People see people getting shot in the ear and head.
There's bullets that are whizzing by
and people are kind of normalizing it.
Well, it's political violence.
You know, it's like the Secret Service takes a knee
and lets the president get whacked
or attempt to get whacked.
As stuff like this happens,
instead of confronting the deep problems in the country,
we have adults playing with Spider-Man figurines
in their house.
It's what's happening.
I mean, these are the news. I'm not making this up. Spider-Man figurines in their house. That's what's happening.
I mean, these are the news.
I'm not making this up.
Instead of confronting the fact
that we have a very, very, very big problem on our hands,
many of them,
adults are now buying
Spider-Man outfits and putting them on in their house. While they're three and five year old children,
I guess watch them and go, dad, can I play with the toy? And we go, not yet.
This is not the best way to handle what's happening out there. And I understand that what's happening is a traumatic.
It is a little weird when the one president can't talk and has dementia.
And the other one is Donald Trump and they're trying to kill him.
It is strange.
It doesn't fill you with a great feeling.
It doesn't fill you with a lot of hope for the country.
It's actually quite
traumatic to be honest.
You're going, what's happening out there?
But the response to this cannot be Wolverine.
Folks, I'm, I'm asking you nicely now.
I'm asking you nicely now to put it down,
put the figurines down.
Put the, take the costume off.
Please.
We are dealing with deadly forces trying to exterminate
each other and destroy the country.
Is there a way we can all face this,
this horrible reality that we've all created?
Can we face it without fucking,
you know, green lantern? Can we face it without the Hulk? Can we do it? Please.
Because I'm telling you right now, nothing good is to come of this trend. Nostalgia is not, is supposed to be a fleeting thing.
Nostalgia is supposed to be so quick. It's like deja vu.
Deja vu is you walk into a place, you go, have I been here before?
And then immediately you go, who cares? And you have fondue or whatever.
I don't know. But that's, that's what deja vu is.
It's a haunting thought for a few seconds fleeting in your head out of it
It's not something you prattle on about for hours. That's the same thing with nostalgia
You think back on the 80s you go all the fucking 80s
Coca-Cola cigs fucking convert whatever it is. Whatever it was to you crack, You know, whatever the 80s was to you. Quick, in and out.
Man, nostalgia. And then you move on, you move on quickly. It is deeply unhealthy to cocoon yourself in your childhood,
especially during,
you know,
some intelligence war.
I mean, this is just not good. And this is the whole thing now, you know, it's
celebrate. This is all celebrate. Celebrate is like a cool thing. Adults
becoming children and then on the other hand we have children becoming adults. So
Gavin Newsom now just signed a law that your math teacher is allowed to cut your dick
off I think and not tell your parents.
As long as they put your dick in a bag and give it to you.
This is sick.
This is the law.
Your math teacher is allowed to perform sexual reassignment surgery on the child.
They put the penis in a bag, they give it to the child, they put the penis in a bag, they give it to
the child, they put the name on the bag, and then they give it to the, and they
don't have to tell the parent. So the parent goes, where's your penis? And the
kid goes, it's in a bag. Well, who put it in a bag? Mr. Morrison. He cut it off and
he put it in a bag. My name is Star now and I have a pussy!
And you're like, God damn it, what am I dealing with?
As a parent, my kid went to school, a boy, and then his math teacher cut off his dick,
put it in a bag and sent him home with it.
This is insane.
And you gotta tell your husband that?
Hello, Bob.
Bob?
Bob, can you hear me?
Bob, listen.
Jake is home.
His penis is in a bag.
His math teacher cut it off at school.
They did reassignment surgery on him, Bob, and his dick's in a bag.
And he wants me to call him Janine.
So when you get done with work, why don't you come and talk to your son, and you can see the cock in his bag!
I'm just saying, I feel for the parents here.
No, what this law is, is that if your child is a tranny boonbanny,
and which is there's nothing wrong with,
I don't care about people being trans.
I just have always requested this.
When you are a child, that you be left alone
and allowed to form your own identity
without adults meddling in your life
and without people suggesting medical interventions,
pills, surgery, things like that.
It's completely insane.
A lot of these kids will not end up being trans.
Some of them will, some of them will not.
A lot of them will be gay, some of them will be lesbian,
some of them will have other experiences
and find other things.
I don't know.
Some of them may be unicorns.
I don't know.
I don't know. And isn't that nice? It's so rare. What I'm
saying is that I don't think there's any... I've never heard a good explanation
as to why a nine-year-old should have a sexual... you know, medically transition or
why somebody should delay puberty. The Tavistock Clinic in Britain ran this
experiment. It failed. They shut down all sexual assignment surgery,
reassignment surgery for minors in that country.
Britain's not a psychopathic right-wing country.
They ran an experiment and it ruined a lot of kids' lives.
When they found out that yes, you can be too young
to make permanent medical decisions
about your sex and gender.
There is a reality in which children need to be children,
teenagers need to be teenagers.
So Gavin Newsom has basically said that educators are now
prevented from notifying parents if their child asks to switch names or pronouns.
Allowing your child to be trans at school and whatever,
that we can't out your kid as being trans.
Now here's the way I feel about this.
I don't like laws.
I don't think we should compel teachers to out kids as trans to their parents
because I think the teacher's job should be to fucking teach math and reading and
science and all the things our retarded kids don't know.
I don't think it should be their job to go and negotiate the gender of their student body to the parents and call up and go well you know
I'm noticing you know I was got a beard now. I don't know but I don't think they
should be prevented from doing it either. These laws that are enforced so
that parents don't know things about their children I don't think that's good.
Some kids are really shitty hateful parents.
Some kids have very good parents that want to be involved.
Some people, most people are in the middle. Most parents are in the middle.
They don't really know what the trans thing is.
They're trying to figure it out, but they don't want their child
to be living a secret double life.
I don't think Gavin Newsom's making the right call by
allowing these kids to live a secret double life.
But what's so weird about this is the more adults we have playing with figurines, Gavin Newsom's making the right call by allowing these kids to live a secret double life.
But what's so weird about this is the more adults we have playing with figurines, we're
asking children to make permanent medical decisions about who they are at a younger
and younger age.
We're forcing them to be adults, whereas we're taking adults and telling them it's okay to
take it to dress up like a Wolverine. So it is strange to me this Freaky Friday situation we have where adults are now children
and children are adults.
And I think it should be the way I would do it if I was a teacher, it would be like, if
you're good in school and you do your homework, I won't tell your parents you're trans.
But if you don't do it if
you and you got to call them by you know if you got it you got to say you got to
do the right pronouns you got to well if they don't if they don't finish this
project I'm calling your parents okay Caesar you think you know it all Caesar
but if you don't start focusing on this lab report,
whatever your name is, but that's what I would do.
I would reward the trans students who are trying
and punish the ones that weren't.
And I think that's what makes the most sense here.
Not a law.
Not a law.
Discretion. You know, Mr. Newsom and Rob Bonta, the state attorney general,
had fought conservative-led school districts in court before the overwhelmingly democratic
state legislature sent his bill to the governor last month.
The new law prohibits local school boards from forcing educators to tell parents if their child asks to use a different name or different pronouns.
Parents would retain the right to access their child's school records and minors are still
required to get permission from their parents or guardians.
Yeah, I mean, it's like somebody comes into the class and their name is John and they
say, hi, my name is Juliana, and I want to be called Juliana. How can it's confusing, I guess, in the parent teacher conference.
But the teacher can't out the kid.
So it's like, it's all confusing.
I think we're going to get rid of school soon.
I really do. I think that's coming.
I think that I think it's coming. We're getting rid of school. I think we're just going to get rid of school soon. I really do. I think that's coming. I think it's coming, we're getting rid of school.
I think we're just going to get rid of school.
No, I do.
It's just getting to the point now where no one really
knows what it is.
No one really knows what's going on.
We've got to figure out something else for them to do.
Putting kids into the workforce early
is actually not a terrible idea.
It's really not.
It's not a terrible idea to start taking them out of school and making them work at like
a marina or something like that.
Like me and Bethany Frankel are members of a boat club and they take us out on the boat
and they drive us to dinner.
Ooh, it's time to abolish schools.
I like this.
I see a woke bitch with some hoops. Me and her, we might have a little not super,
what you would call it, like not super common meeting
of the minds here.
But what's her argument for why we should get rid of schools?
Because in a recent New York Times op-ed,
I argued that racism isn't the right word
to understand the unrelenting police killing.
Oh, god.
All right.
Where is this school stuff? Schools are where the often countless dedicated teachers who work
tirelessly against the tide of a neoliberal agenda unwavering in its commitment to privatize
the entire enterprise of education, eradicate public schools, these institutions are also said.
I don't know what this is. I'm confused. Well, it's all about race.
Well, here's the deal. Kids are a problem and they need to be housed,
they need to be put somewhere.
School is just becoming a place to house children like prison
because the more technology they have access to
and the more weapons they can get,
they actually become a threat to society as a whole.
So it's really just classrooms are holding cells
for a lot of kids, it's not nice.
But if you think about it, children,
and we've covered this on the show,
they've become dangerous.
Not all of them, but a lot of them.
I mean, how many shootings do we have?
Children.
So, they have to go somewhere.
But my question is,
is school
the best place for a lot of
these kids to be right now?
Should there be a place
where children should work
and learn more about work?
Really? Should there be an apprenticeship?
Should there be something, it's a real question,
should there be something where instead of children
wasting time, should they be, seriously,
I'm sick of hearing this follow your dreams crap,
they don't have dreams, these monsters.
Have you seen them?
Have you spoke to these kids?
I mean, and first of all,
I don't want to say anything about anything here, but what is going on with the autism?
No, I mean, I'm serious. What is happening? Because what is happening? I mean, and I'm all for it to a
degree. I mean, I'm not against it. But what's going on? Because it's some of it is
just out of control. Truly, where it's like, somebody sits down at lunch with the kid,
the kids like, and I go, and they go, Oh, yeah, they have mild autism. And they go um what is because I don't know what to do I don't know what
to do in that case I'm people gonna get mad at me but I'm not I'm just curious
I'm not saying bad I'm not saying I'm not saying put them in the river I'm not
saying put them in a lake I'm saying can we do something about this?
Can we throw a blanket on them or something? Can we do something? Are there
blankets? No, seriously. We bundle them? What's happening? I don't understand
what's going on now. I'm not trying to be a problem.
Well, you don't have kids. you don't know what it's like.
I know, of course.
I get it.
I don't have dogs or cats.
But if I see a dog or a cat causing a problem, I go,
do you see, deal with it. Someone deal with it.
People get mad at me all the time, but I don't,
I'm only asking questions.
I'm not doing anything.
It's true.
So I'm just wondering, is there a place where children can go
and instead of school, go and gain real world experience?
What if they worked at like Madison Square Garden? You know what I mean? instead of school, go and gain real world experience.
What if they worked at Madison Square Garden?
You know what I mean?
What if kids worked at Madison Square Garden?
What if we put them in unions, little unions?
No, I'm dead serious.
We don't need them to be learning as much.
You know what I mean? We don't need it to be learning as much,
you know what I mean? Like we don't need it.
We have enough stuff.
We've got AI, we've got automation.
Like we need to slow down the expectations of everyone else.
Like we need to slow down the expectations of people
for how good their kids lives are gonna be immediately.
No, no, no, all these people that are like, I just want my son to have better life than me.
That's all over.
You're just lucky they don't kill you.
The expectation should be that your child not in a fentanyl
haze kill you and decapitate you and your wife.
That should be the only expectation.
We're going to have to find out what to do with these kids.
This is not the old school where everybody had lived their dream. Now, this is like how do we
put them in a prison that is nice? Can we put them in a nice prison where
everyone feels good about it? That's what we did to my mother. She was a nut. We
love my mother, but it's like in. Some people are gonna to have to go in in our society. Some people are going to have
to go in. And I don't think it's the age matters in this case. I don't think age matters anymore.
By the way, my grandfather told me this story. He worked on this place, Ward Island. It was
an island in the middle of the East River where they had this big mental institution. And he was like working on
it. He was like, whatever he was doing, like, you know, hammer and nail, laying brick, I don't know
what he was doing. And he would just hear the wailing of the infirm, the crazy, while he would work. He'd just hear, ah!
Ah!
And he would just eat his sandwich, you know, his liverwurst, mustard and onion,
or you know the old sandwiches they used to eat,
like bologna, and they would just eat the sandwiches,
and they would hear,
ah!
That's my point.
I don't know what it is, I'm just saying, you know?
Sometimes it's good to put people in a place
where their day is planned for them and they can't get out.
But I'm saying, and I don't think it matters how old they are,
I'm sick of hearing that age is a factor here.
There are kids murdering other kids.
There are problems in our society.
They have to be dealt with.
They have to be dealt with.
I don't care.
I don't care.
We have enough kids.
Adults are becoming kids.
They're the new kids.
Adults are the new kids.
We don't need kids.
Kids are becoming more like adults.
They're becoming like violent psychopaths.
Adults are so traumatized, they're all MK ultra victims.
They just sit in their room and play with figurines.
Well, we got kids, we got them.
I gotta go to Salt Lake City, I've had enough.
Had enough with everybody.
I don't know what to do anymore.
Go see me in West Hampton Performing Arts Center
in Displanes, Illinois, Rivers Casino.
We added two shows on Sunday in Salt Lake City.
I'll be there all weekend, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
I love Salt Lake. I stay in Deer Valley, of course. And I'm in Salt Lake for. I'll be there all weekend, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I love Salt Lake.
I stay in Deer Valley, of course.
And I'm in Salt Lake for an hour, a night, or two hours.
But I love it.
I love, love, love Salt Lake.
I love Park City more, but I love Salt Lake.
It's fun.
It's just the right amount of methi.
I like it.
And we've sold out all the shows.
You've added two more.
It's great to see everybody, and we'll see you soon.
Good night.