The Tim Dillon Show - 426 - LA Fires Emergency Podcast

Episode Date: January 14, 2025

Tim examines the devastation of the LA fires, speculates on how they might have started, and gives Californians a stern warning.  American Royalty Tour 🎟 https://punchup.live/TimDillon ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TimDillonShow Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds?si=f07ec8ffb2a8490f #TheTimDillonShow Merch:  https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show. We are here from the Sirius XM studio at the Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas. We have been displaced I am a refugee of the wildfires of California along with Many other people that are suffering that need your help. I need your help. I need funding I am not a sympathetic figure in in many of your minds, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that I'm already rich. I want your money. I've had a tragedy in my life. It doesn't matter that I sold my house a year ago. It doesn't matter because when people text me

and go what's going on with your house? I say, I don't know. I say, nobody knows. It's a tragedy and we're all scared. I'm not going to ruin. Now I did sell my house a year ago because it was a lot of mudslides. I didn't know this was coming. I'm not Nostradamus, but I sold my house, but I'm not going to tell people that by the way, and

If that makes me a sociopath fine, I'm not telling you that if I check into a hotel I'm not telling you I sold my house if you ask me. How are things going? I will look down and I will say we don't know I Don't know what's happening. I invent a family. I say, I don't know where they are. We lost contact, we lost touch. I had to get my Rolls Royce out of LA. I don't know where the wife and kids are. I hope they're fine.

They're not responding. People are texting me, I have not spoken to in a year, how's your house? What am I gonna say? I sold it and then immediately lose their goodwill? No, I'm giving them the experience They want to have I say I don't know. No one knows I'm texting neighbors We're watching the ring cam the ring cam cut off could mean anything. We don't know could have gotten hit by an ember. I

Left two days before the fire. It doesn't matter. I was I said it was an evacuation. I waited I wanted to be responsible I didn't want to clog the highway with my gas guzzling SUV. I waited. I didn't leave Tuesday afternoon. Of course I did. You know why I'm not an idiot. Stop checking on me going how are you? What do you think I'm an idiot? You think I'm waiting for the government evacuation? You think I'm waiting for the government of Los Angeles to tell me to not die? No, I leave immediately.

I saw a fire and I left. I left. Because I'm not an idiot. All my other friends are like, are you in the evacuation zone? I said, get in your car and leave. You're rich, you idiot. There's terrible stuff going on. I get it. Families have lost homes. Tons of innocent people are affected

more in Alta Dena than the Palisades. Let's be honest, but a lot and I, I a lot of people I know and I'm friends with live in the Palisades. So I let's just say that I I feel terrible for the people of Altadena. I think we should donate a lot of money to the people of Altadena. I believe the people of Altadena need help truly for real. As for the Palisades, I listen. It's rough. It's rough.

It's rough. I like that little outdoor mall there that they had with the blue ribbon sushi, you know, and that McConnell's McConnell's ice cream with that Santa Barbara strawberry flavor they have, which is good, but the strawberries really picked an Oxnard, but they don't want to say that nobody picks strawberries in Santa Barbara. They pick them in Oxnard, but they don't want to say that. Nobody picks strawberries in Santa Barbara. They pick them in Oxnard,

but that's not the name of the flavor. The point is, I feel bad for the people in the Palisades as well. It is not fun to lose a fifth of your real estate portfolio. It actually sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks. If you had something, you'd lose a fifth of it, sucks. That's not good. It's sad, it's unfortunate. People I know in the Palisades are hurting, they're hurting. I went to the montage in Laguna Beach

Tuesday night immediately. I said, I want one of the sundaes. The woman goes, they don't make them on the late night menu. I said, oh, that's funny, my house burned down. She then gave me a Sunday and I went to pay her. She said, it's free. I said, thank you.

Folks, I don't care. I'm getting my beak wet. I'm gonna get my beak wet. I'm gonna get my beak wet here. You think I've paid enough taxes into this shit hole that I am going to reap the benefits of the sympathy that I'm kind of getting that might not be correct. If you haven't spoken to me in a year and you're texting me about my house, I'm not going

to be honest with you. You don't deserve it. We're not friends. I've been honest with my friends. They knew I sold my house. If you've not spoken to me in a year, I'm telling you, I don't know what's going on with my house. It's probably on fire and I've lost everything. It doesn't matter. I want you to be sad. I want you to send me Oh my God. I can't believe this and I and I don't want to make it's not a class thing with the palisades. There. The reason that I feel a little less bad for them is not because they're rich. It's not because they're rich. It's because I like know them.

That's all. I've had like experiences with them, like in life. It's not just a monetary thing. I don't mind that. Beverly Hills I'd be crying. I'd be crying. We're recording this on Sunday. If this fire rolls through Brentwood and then Bel Air and Beverly Hills, I will cry. And the cities may be toast. We don't know. There's arsonists running around setting fires all over the place. They're arresting them one by one. They're trying to. They let one guy out. And I think some of them might be genuinely homeless. But by the way, if you were a terrorist group,

maybe being funded by a foreign country or not, wouldn't you disguise cells as homeless people? Because in LA, there are so many homeless people. If you wanted to blend in in LA, you'd just be homeless. So if I'm a foreign country and I'm talking to my terrorist cells and I go, guys, in order to blend into this society, you must shit on the street and be homeless.

And no one, and they're going to go, wait a minute, won't that, isn't that a tell? Won't we get arrested immediately? Won't that give us away? I go, no, no, no, no, no. You're the safest people in the town. Sleep on someone's lawn, piss on yourself, shit on the street. No one will even say anything. You will not be stopped by the police.

In fact, if people call the police and say, a man is shitting on my lawn, the police hang up the phone. They don't care. There's nothing for them to do. So if you're going to assimilate into Los Angeles society, you must be homeless. So I can't quite say, if this is an organized terrorist attack,

by the way, it's brilliant. It's brilliant. This is our one weakness. No one would even say anything about a homeless guy with a gas can. These dumb cunts in the palisades, if they saw a homeless man with a gas can, they'd go, he's just having some fun.

He's probably trying to warm himself up because their brains have been rotted. Their brains, it's the same reason they're all being relentlessly positive right now, saying this is gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine. Entire swaths of the city are gone. There was no water in the fucking hydrants. Nobody cleared any of this brush. They didn't do any controlled burns. They didn't prepare any of these areas with high forestation, any of this shit.

None of it was done. We didn't want to upset a fish. Some tribal elder was like, this fish can't go extinct. The Pacific Palisades reservoir was offline when the fires arrived. We were completely, woefully unprepared for this. The mayor was in Africa. The governor has got on the vineyard he lives in or whatever the hell he's doing. So the government completely bungled the response to this. It is, it was a crazy high wind day. It could get worse. And now it's probably one of the fires we know or one or two of the fires was definitely arson.

And if it's arson and it's homeless people, it's either homeless people that are just crazy and lighting fires, which is absolutely possible, or somebody saying blend in as a homeless person. They won't notice. They won't care. It will be like any other day there. What we know about the arrest made for this arsonist, okay? The man has been arrested on a felony probation violation, but no further details were given at the press conference.

The investigation is ongoing. I'm gonna read you a text that I got from Eli Roth, who's a director, he directed the movie Thanksgiving that I was in. He said this, "'4 p.m. on Wednesday on Outpost Drive, "'a homeless man poured gasoline down the sewer grate "'and lit it on fire.

"'By total coincidence, someone from the gas company "'saw him do this and called the fire department. They put it out. The neighbors were all saying, what kind of mentally disturbed person would do this? What kind of homeless person walks around with a can of gasoline lighting fires? You just don't go back to the park and shoot up after that.

Then two hours later, out of nowhere with no burning embers near us, Runyon goes up. We watch it from our bedroom window, a little smoke, and then five minutes later the whole hill on fire. So these are people I know real people witnessing this behavior homeless man with flamethrower busted on suspicion of arson near LA's Kenneth fire after residents detained him. Let's watch a little bit of this because it may become clear, and we don't know yet.

I'm speculating. I don't know anything. It may become clear. This is a coordinated attack. It may not be. It may be a series of random psychos taking advantage of the weather conditions. It may be cells, terrorist cells that have embedded themselves in the country. People that pose as refugees or the country, people that pose

as refugees or posed as homeless people. I don't know. These are all possibilities are all on the table. This could be a massive failure of a power company that's trying to cover it up. I don't know. Let's take a look at this here. What is this? This is a homeless guy.

Do we have volume on this or no? No. Is this the guy that was caught with the five cell phones? Do we know that? Can we look that up and see if that's true or not? That guy doesn't look that homeless. By the way, I don't know how homeless that guy is, but he doesn't look that homeless. People in LA have to wake up a little bit.

They have to wake up a little bit because it's not apparent what's going on. What is what we do know is that a tremendous amount of the city as we're having Adam Crow on very soon. He's lived in L.A. forever and he has thoughts on this as well as to why this is happening the way it is happening. And I'm not I'm not claiming that this is that we know that they said the policy fire started in the house. And it's probably correct.

High winds knocked down power, you know, not to polls and everything. So the thing about it, this is the issue. I was in New York during 9-11. I was a kid. I was in 11th grade in high school, but New York. There's grit. LA. This is going to be tough. This is not a city of that's not what LA is about.

LA is not about tragedy. It's about pretending tragedy doesn't happen. It's about sunshine. It's about casual conversations in a coffee shop. It's about being passive aggressive. It's about, you know, kind of internalizing the loneliness of living in this mountainous region. Out where these fires started, the highlands and the palisades in Malibu. It's like Jurassic Park. People shouldn't live there.

It's a little unreasonable to say I want to live in a forest on top of a mountain overlooking the ocean, but I also wanted to be a desert with no rain and get perfect weather every day. It's unreasonable. L.A.'s where Hollywood started Eastern European Jews from New York went to LA to start the movie business. And whether you hate LA or love LA, realize that the movies and the music that America's churned out is the only reason we're not completely hated the world over. Really, truly. Really, truly. I mean, the goodwill that a Tommy boy or an anchorman or something like that bought us,

you can't even quantify. Motown, things that Elvis Presley, I mean, I know Motown's not in LA, but you know, Capitol Records was the idea. And I'm not saying it's not, wasn't terrible and it wasn't, you know, rapists and pedophiles and all that. There was a ton of that. But the actual product, the cinema, the music is one of the reasons that America has some goodwill in the world.

Because we would bomb all these countries, but then they would like watch, you know, you know, the Marx brothers and go, this is kind of good. So at the end of the day, even if you hate L.A. or find the people there to be vapid, fake, you know, annoying. It serves a very integral purpose and has, if you look at the history of America, the movies, the music, the stories that were told, and yes, some of them were absolutely propaganda. We were heavily propagandized and Hollywood was a big part of that. But then there was also just really, really good shit. Really funny, great stuff, great dramatic stuff. We don't make it anymore. That's part of the problem.

We don't make it anymore. It hasn't been good for a while in mass. There are good things here and there, but in mass, it hasn't been good for a while in mass. There are good things here and there, but in mass, it hasn't been good for a while. When Hollywood became an engine of social justice or whatever you want to call it, when they started getting really annoying, when they became like a mom, came like a mom, like an annoying mom, and they started lecturing people. Everybody said, we don't like this. It's like, you know, your friend's dad

that, you know, cheats on his wife all the time. He's fun at the barbecues, but just don't lecture us when you catch us with cigarettes. You're cheating on your wife all the time and we know it and it's damaging your son but you are cool and you do have a boat and we like that but don't if you catch us with cigarettes don't lecture us you're a philandering scumbag but you have a boat and you let us throw parties in your yard there has to to be that guy. That's what LA, it's a scumbag, parent. My friends had that, I loved it. We knew you need it, you need a rich scumbag parent who lets you have the party in their yard.

That's LA. Now, yes, the party can get out of control and a kid dies or whatever, and then it's not good. But for the most part, you need that scumbag parent. Look at this. If you didn't know better and I showed you this man's face, you would say that's the scumbag parent. But the problem is this guy who's still cheating on his wife and is still a scumbag said no more parties in the yard Because

Because we don't want to use the grill because of the emissions standards and you go hey scumbag That's not what this is So that's the issue everyone started hating LA when LA started telling everyone how to fucking live That's not what it's there to do It's not there. It's there to just entertain you The issue, everyone started hating LA when LA started telling everyone how to fucking live. That's not what it's there to do. It's not there. It's there to just entertain you and make you happy for a few brief moments in this crazy existence. We all have. It's not there to tell you how to live because LA is irrational.

It's unreasonable. Because LA is irrational. It's unreasonable. It's people that all come there because they want something that is often unattainable for most of them. It's unattainable. They go, I want to be famous. Well, it's not attainable. You don't have the talent or the work ethic or the luck or the connections or the looks or the drive. You're unwilling to make the sacrifices, whatever. I don't know, but those people. Then stay in L.A.

And they have to just they they they they become this relentlessly positive, like they're talking about manifesting in the letter of meditation's health and its green juices and its wellness, because the underlying unfulfillment, the deep chasm of unfulfillment in their lives has to be filled up with something. So they think if they live forever, then maybe down the road, someone will realize how talented I am. They won't. You're not enough. But I get it. It serves a purpose. It catches a lot of

shit and rightly so. People in LA, you know, as a guy from the East Coast, it's strange to me. It's strange. They're odd. They're different. You know, the whites more the Mexicans are cool, but the white people are, you know, they feel cult like a little bit, you know, and that's why this is going to be hard to see these people handling this because they have to like stop with the positivity. You're on fire.

Stop thinking you can manifest everything, manifest a new government. You're on fire. The green juice won't put out the fart. You have to get rational. You have to wake up. And it's not a city of people that have the have to wake up. And it's not a city of people that have the ability to wake up. I'm talking to all of them, they're all in such now they're like, well, the cleanup might be done by the end of the year. It's still burning. You moron.

Stop this relentless positivity. It's going to get you killed. This positive guard, it's going to get you killed. These people are going to kill you. You have an incompetent government, they're letting people run around the city with gas cans lighting your homes on fire. At what point do you wake up? At what point do you say, you know, perhaps we should think about this. It's not rude of you to request that homeless people don't light you on fire.

That's not an unreasonable request. It's not. It's not an unreasonable request. It's not. It's not an unreasonable request that you would say, you know, I just prefer to not be lit on fire. In a social media post on Saturday evening, Trump blamed California's leaders for the current situation. The fires were raging in LA. The incompetent Paul's have no idea how to put them out. Thousands of magnificent houses are gone and many more will soon be lost. He wrote on Truth Social. They can't put out the fires.

What's wrong with them? Earlier in the week, he criticized Gavin Newsom for refusing to sign the water restoration declaration put before him that would have allowed millions of gallons of water to put out the fire. This is a whether you hate Trump or love Trump, it's clearly a fuck up by the California government. They were not prepared for this. That doesn't mean that you can avoid every wildfire in a place

that is high wildfire risk. Newsom opposed that at the time. This is the water restoration bill saying he wanted to protect quote, highly imperiled fish species close to extinction. So I mean, that this is where we're at here. This is behind me as a result. I hope the fish is happy. Can we eat the fish? We're going to need to eat the fish soon because the grocery stores have burned. So I'm hoping that this extinct fish we protected is tasty and it can be fried stuff and give it to them.

You know, it is amazing that you and I'm not saying not to donate, obviously donate, obviously. But why when you pay the highest taxes in America, does no one have anything? Why does no one have anything? Why does no one have anything? Why are there no supplies? I'm not saying not to donate extra, but why is there no readiness of the highest taxes in America? Why does what is everybody, you know? Now go and donate the bottles of water in the protein bars

and whatever, but I mean there's my house is burned down. My house burned down that I worked hard for my house burned and I cried in the street because it was everything I had. Besides the other three. The problem is this when I watched that house burned down that beautiful Spanish style. When I watch that house burn down, that beautiful Spanish style, and it just burned down and it that smell of the char in my nose.

And then I go, can we speed the room service time up? Can we speed the time up? I'm not my house burned down as a figure of speech. I will not stop using it. I'm going to use it. I'm not not using it. My house burned down. It's the first thing I'm going to use it. I'm not not using it. My house burned down.

It's the first thing I'm going to say to anyone I meet now. My house is burnt down. It burned down. I am starting to go fund me for myself. I don't care if you don't think it's justified. I'm using a picture of a burnt down house and I'm starting to go fund me for myself because I wanna go on a trip to Tokyo and I want you to pay for it.

I feel bad for the people in the palisades those zanied out cunts driving in their Range Rover didn't deserve this. They didn't deserve this these drugged up women and their philandering husbands, writer producers, agents, managers, whatever. They didn't deserve this. Their snowboarding retard children did not deserve this. Sorry, Luke. They should have their home.

They deserve their home in their little retarded town that they think is nice with an air wand. God damn it, get us to Palm Beach. God only likes Palm Beach. But they like their little outdoor mall. And it's nice, you go to this little mall and you sit there and you be white with your fucking unironic cowboy hat

that you have because you think you're in a fucking Western, you're in Yellowstone, okay? But you're not, your husband's an accountant for Fox. You're not in Yellowstone. Okay But they like that little outdoor mall and it's nice they walk around there and they have coffee And they talk about who has cancer and whose kids are trans or whatever That's their thing and it was wrong. I think it's still there actually because Caruso the billionaire who I supported Protected it But they didn't deserve this. Yes, they're annoying. Yes, they were tweeting Black Lives Matter

from a fucking mansion. It's annoying, they're annoying. They're annoying, but they didn't deserve this. Now, obviously the people in Alta Dena didn't deserve it. We all know that. And in the Hollywood Hills, well, it's a case by case. But the Palisades is this little basic bitch town of rich people, but not rich like most of the Palisades is like the working rich.

It's not old money. It's nothing I would respect. It's not Palm Beach. It's not Greenwich, not Manhattan. It's the Palisades. Oh, you produced, I don't know, desperate housewives. So you live in the Palisades.

You got an eight and a half million dollar house. You got a nine million dollar house. Okay. You got a wife and a psychiatrist and a kid in rehab or something. Or living in New York trying to produce a rap. Whatever is going on, you're the working rich. You don't deserve this. You and your wife are divorced. You check on her every now and then she checks on you.

You live somewhere else now. Maybe a 10,000 Santa Monica licking your wounds and other things. But they don't deserve this. No one deserves their entire little town to burn. It's not right. It was a fun little town. It's a basic dumb little town with people that thought they had more money than they did.

It was a fun little airwond to go. You get a nice little, a little burrito in the morning or something. It was a fun little town. Those moms, they didn't deserve this. And I was at the park in Palm Springs with many of them, many of them, some of them would tell me they're going to New York, you know, their families have five bedroom co-ops on the Upper East side. They need to put the kids in school. They go, we got to get our kids in school. they're getting dumber by the day.

That was a direct quote. And as they were checking into the hotel, they go, how many square foot, what's the square footage of the room? And the desk person, you know, because they're all flustered, the desk person goes, I think it's like 350. And one of the women goes, oh, is there anything bigger? Is there anything bigger? Oh, no, ma'am, we're, we're sorry, we've had a big influx of people coming in from LA. Oh, there's no suiz or anything bigger? Oh, no, ma'am. We're sorry. We've had a big influx of people coming in from LA.

Oh, there's no suiz or anything bigger. Oh, is there anything bigger? It doesn't mean that they deserve this. They didn't deserve it. And for all you fundamentalist Christians going, it's because the gays or whatever, that part of West Hollywood's fine. Most of the people in Palisades are straight. And if God was really mad at them,

he wouldn't burn one of their six homes. They're gonna be okay, but they don't deserve this. It's not right. I don't deserve it. I like taking that road. I like driving that road. It's a rich little retarded town. Let these people, what do you think happens

when the rest of you scumbags make money? What do you think you're gonna do? You're gonna live in a dumb little town with a little fucking outdoor mall. It's the American dream. Gonna go to a bookstore and buy a little book and read five pages of it and then just put it on your mantle and make people think you read.

What do you think you're going to do when you make but what do you think money is in this country? It's to live in the but that's the whole dream is to live in the Pacific Palisades where 90% of the houses can't see the Pacific. It's a scam. It doesn't matter. That's the point of America. It's a live in this little retarded town with your outdoor mall and you

spump into people in the outdoor mall with your dog. It's the point. They didn't deserve it. They didn't deserve it. It's peak civilization there. It's just enough money to think you have more. It's just enough money to have enough and to be rich, but to pretend to weirdly not be rich. It's a, if you haven't lived in LA, you don't know. I'm only with Persians.

I spent time only with Persians. I want big money, big, big, big, big. Iran, the Shah, big Bentley, big Rolls Royce. I don't want to do a guessing game in the Palisades with your little bungalow that might be worth 10 million and your fucking dumb little hat. I want to know if you got it like that or not. I want to see chunky jewelry around your fucking hairy chest. But it's nice to

go see the Palisades. That's where the whites are. What are the whites doing? You gotta check up on them. What are the whites? Well, they're pretending to be in Yellowstone now, and they're all on drugs. They're zanied out, and they're pretending to be in Yellowstone. That's what the whites are up to.

You gotta check on the whites every now and then. Persian Jews drove them out of Beverly Hills. So they went to Brentwood in the palisades, where they've erected some fantasy land where they tweet out liberal garbage while they also call the police and go get over here. I saw someone. It's the height of hypocrisy, the Pacific Palisades. It's a very democratic place. It's a very, you know, California place. It's a lot of cognitive dissonance. That's what it is, but they didn't deserve this.

No one does. That the home that you caught your husband cheating on you in is still your home. The home where you told your son, get a job you dirtbag is still your home. The home where you confronted your daughter and said, where are my bills? That's your home. The home where you had a little meeting in your back house with the writer that was going to write the story about your life that you thought was so fucking interesting because your mother's Romanian.

Whatever. That's still your home. The inane banal conversations with your stupid neighbors that happened at your dumb little garden party that nobody wanted to go to. And they came to just judge you and you all drank white wine and stood in your little yard that was eight and a half million dollars for no goddamn reason. That's still your fucking home.

And you don't deserve that. I hope this is coming across sympathetic. That's the intent. That's the intent. That's the intent. But it's not a town about handing bottles of water out. It never will be. If LA becomes a town where good people help each other, it's over. It's fucking over.

Then burn the rest of it down. Burn the rest of it down. If LA is going to pretend to be a town of people that are genuinely good and not just pretending, then burn it all down. It's no point. It's no point. It's no point. Burn the rest of it. If that's the thing, if I see someone handing a bottle of water to a first responder, I'm going to gas can them. Get out of there

because it's not what it's about. It's not what the city is about. The city is actually about immediately realizing that the government has fucked you becoming right wing you're already dressed like cowboys. Go with it. Go with it. Dum dums. dress like cowboys, go with it. Go with it, dum-dums. Throw these scumbags out of office. Lower your taxes. Get the homeless out of there,

and somebody take the gas cans out of their hands, okay? And go back to making enter, stop raping and pillaging and pedophiling, and start making good things again. Funny things, good drama, good art, good creative stuff that captivates people and keeps them where they belong on their couch. That's what you do. That's what you do over there at Netflix and Hulu and Amazon and whatever the other ones are Peacock and to be whatever

your job is to keep people on their couch watching you and you failed you failed. The Capitol riot happened because no one had anything to watch. You need to go back to making things that are good. There's enough people that come to LA to be exploited. You do not have to force them. You do not have to force them. You don't need to do that. I'm telling you, there's enough people.

Are these the celebrities whose homes? Jeff Bridges. Great. Adam Brody and Leighton Meister. Billy Crystal. Great. Carrie Elwes. Don't know. Anna Faris. Don't care. Mel Gibson.

Great. John Goodman. Great. Brian Greenberg and Jamie Chung. Don't know. Don't care. Jennifer Gray. Eh.

Paris Hilton. Don't care. Anthony Hopkins, great. Pizoma St. John, sad. Taryn Killiam and Kobe Smulders, meh, sorry. Tina Knowles, Beyonce's mother, eh. Ricky Lake, didn't retweet my thing, fucker. No, when the show came out she didn't retweet it, fucker.. No, when the show came out, she didn't retweet it.

Fucker. Sandra Lee. Sad. Eugene Levy. Love. Cameron Matheson. Who's that? Is that the fat chick from the practice?

No, that's Cameron Mannheim. Sorry. Keep going. Rosie O'Donnell. She'll be fine. She, I think she's got a great thing in Miami. Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag. Sad.

They came to a show of mine once. Melissa River. Sad. Loved her mother. Candy spelling lunatic. Miles Tellatic Miles Teller said great actor Milo Ventimiglia great actor Diane Warren said James would stop crying. All right, that's that's all but what about Tim Dillon email who was that? Vanity Fair email Vanity Fair Tim Dillon's house burned down with his family and that they would kill.

And they died. Email Vanity Fair, my family's dead. And a nice photo of me, not that fucking crap from Getty Images, they always use these scumbag media enemies of mine. We're going to deal with that at the inauguration. I'm going to say I need somebody to get in there to get getty images and get some of these people but email them and let them know my house is burned down and my family is dead. Tim Dillon's house burns down.

He and the only reason he couldn't save his family was he was saving a family of color. I went to save the family of color next door and my white family died Email Vanity Fair that please and They could call me I will do an interview about email every publication that I've lost my house Because and I was saving a black family at my block So my own family died What is the update on the fires now? What are they doing? They're gonna roll into Brentwood? They better not.

I hope people see this as what it is here as a mess. I'm trying to be hopeful. I think the city is down for the count for a little bit. I'm a little worried that some of my friends don't seem to realize the scope of this. It needs a total overhaul. This isn't just like a thing. This is a deeply structural issue and you've got to make lots of changes. And it's no good to just go climate change. We all know climate change is an issue, but like, you know, it's also there's practical things that can be done like not saving the fish.

Like having water in the hydrants. LA fire closes in on posh Brentwood neighborhood where Kamala Harris and LeBron James have homes. Wow, play this. It's really really tough right now for a lot of people. And obviously we are sad for them. For the people in Altadena, the working class people, our hearts are broken. And for the people of the Palisades, we are also sad because not all of them were rich.

But you know, would I be lying to you if I said these were the most sympathetic people in the world, would that be a lie? Be a little bit of a lie. Be a lie. If I said the people that I'm checking into hotels with with ironic cowboy hats are the most sympathetic group of people in the world, I would be lying to you. I don't want to lie to the audience that has done so much for me. They bought me that house and burned down It's tough it's tough because

Nobody deserves it. So now are we seeing any fire here? Oh, there it is It's approaching Mandeville Canyon in Brentwood. We got to contain this thing and get shut it down The rebuilding needs to start. Blackrock and these scumbags better not think they're going to put a bunch of hotels in Malibu so I could see all these Long Island pigs I grew up with. That's not the point. That ain't the point. The point is that Malibu is is is a place for like rich people who've gone completely insane

and say things like the ocean is my teacher. That's the point. The point of living in Malibu is you think you're gonna look like you're gonna be healthy like Gabby Reese and Laird Hamilton, but it is not necessarily the case. Sometimes it is. But that's the point. The point of Malibu is to kind of leave the earth.

It's not, don't turn it into Ocean City, Maryland. I don't want Laffy Taffy in Malibu. I don't want Bucatepepo in Malibu. Don't do it. Don't zone this to put a bunch of hotels there. Don't do it. If there's a Disney World Malibu, I'll light it on fire. Don't do this.

Don't do Harry Potter World in the Palisades. Don't do this. And if that's why this whole thing, if that's how it's gonna end up, I'm telling you, we'll burn that down. The houses should now be, it should be for, the Palisades should now have six houses in it and they should each be worth a billion dollars.

Go richer. Richer. There should be parcels of land sold off to billionaires who put competing castles up. The Palo Strait should have nine, 19 residents, excluding staff. Go richer. Don't, don't bring in the pigs. Don't bring in the pigs. Don't bring in the pigs and the piglets. We don't want the pigs and the piglets in Malibu. And if you're going to do that, we're going to burn it down again.

I will drive if you do Disney World Malibu, I will drive homeless people with gas cans around until we correct that mistake. So don't don't do it. Karen Bass has got to go Gavin Newsom's got to go I got to get involved in an official capacity. Put Whitney Cummings in put me in see what happens. What could happen? Put Sebastian in. Fire, what are you doing?

I don't know. I don't know. Huh? Did you see his thing? Can we play his thing? He's like, how to fire start? What are you doing with the fire? Fire?

I think he's hilarious and I love him. People criticize this for being tone deaf. I actually thought it was great and I kind of agreed with him. It is weird to get the grill going but he did post this as some people were burning alive. What's up with wildfires? That's right. You want to tell me how these things start? Los Angeles is windy today and the whole city is in flames. Where are the fires starting? Does someone flick a cigarette?

Wind gets a hold of it? Next thing you know it's an inferno. Listen, I could probably Google it. Probably a simple answer. I know wind spreads the fire, but what I want to know is who's Starting the fire. Have you ever tried to start a fire? He's right Yeah, I can't even get my my grill going or my fireplace going without kindling sticks But the whole city is up in flames. Let me know

People got I think people were not thrilled with that. But I agree with him. I agree with all of his questions. It's like, how does this happen? Why is it happening? And that's the big thing we're gonna have to figure out. Who are the people doing this arson? Is it coordinated?

Are they just psychos? They could just be psycho. You can't let a bunch of drug addicted mentally ill psychopaths run around the city with gas cans. It's a terrible idea. It's out of a Stephen King novel. Literally, it's literally out of a Stephen King novel. So burglary suspect dressed as firefighters rested in LA fire. Did you hear this? They stole humvees from the National Guard or something.

I heard that someone told me that my realtor told me that that they stole like the National Guard got robbed in LA. But people are doing home invasions dressed up as firefighters and looting these areas where people have their stuff. So here make this Los Angeles authorities say they arrested 29 more people overnight in the fire zones, including one burglary suspect who is allegedly dressed as a firefighter. Of the arrest 25 people are apprehended in the Eaton fire for in the Palisades fire zone. We have people who will go to all ends to do what they do. Los Angeles Police Department Chief Jim McDonald said of a man dressed in a fire jacket and helmet burglarizing homes.

One man who was driving a truck was arrested in the Palisades area. Other suspects were found inside the vehicle. The men pretended to be associated with the fire station. But a quick check with the fire department proved that not to be the case. I'm telling you, so National Guard arrives in L.A. curfews plan to crack down on looting in the fire ravaged area. So people are going and looting. The homes of people. And it's, you know,

it's difficult. To control. Chaos, three humvees and military supplies stolen from Army Reserve warehouse, the police in Tustin, California, said the humvees, as well as binoculars bayonets and a machine gun vehicle mounts had been stolen from an Army Reserve Center. Well, that's good. Who's doing that? Who's doing that? We've got drones overhead. No one knows why. We've got people stealing Humvees with machine gun mounts. Is it? Is there something going on? Is there a problem? Is there something happening? Does it not feel like something's odd?

You know, I put up these things. People get mad at me. Oh, you're paranoid. You're nuts. Am I what's going on here? Why are there drones over military installations? Is it us? Is it someone else?

China? Who is it? Can we know? But the police recovered two of the humvees on Saturday after receiving tips from the public. There's some idiots driving around a humvee. Some morons go and look what I have. And the public's like, hey, I'm seeing this guy with a humvee. Lieutenant Nunley said that the police did not have information about the thieves because the military did not have surveillance

cameras on the warehouse. He said the police were seeking footage from other cameras in the area. house. He said the police were seeking footage from other cameras in the area. So the whole we're just this is exposing a COVID did this, but this is even further exposing all of the vulnerabilities of our society. It's not, you know, you go to bed at night thinking someone's in charge. No one's in charge. No one's in charge. That's the thing. No one's in charge. And the only people that seem to have some type of clue seem to be actively working against the public interest all the time in every way that they can. The only people that seem to have any power in this society

are actively making your lives harder and more dangerous by the minute. By the way, the only people that seem to have any authority or control are doing terrible things constantly that you can't do anything about. Investigators found multiple storage lockers with the locks removed and a fence cut out to get to the parking lot where the Humvees were parked. It also looked as if there had been an unsuccessful attempt to cut a lot, gain access to the uniforms. So people were gonna drive around in Humvees

with National Guard uniforms and I guess loot. That's a movie. That's a good movie. And if LA was smart, they'd have a movie about guys dressed up as firefighters looting the Pacific Palisades and it would be funny. Be like a funny movie about guys dressed as firefighters and I hope that meeting's happening. It's a it's a gang of kids. They're dressed

up as firefighters. And it's like the three kids stacked up as one firefighter and they loot the burnt down Pacific Palisades. And it's funny. No, it's a comedy. It's fun. Yes, the fire is dark, but it's funny because they're kids. They're not adults. They're preteens and they stack on top

of each other to make one fake firefighter who loots. No, it's good. The US Army is now offering a reward of up to $5,000 for that Humvee that was stolen in LA. I mean, there's no one, everyone's asleep at the wheel, by the way, including the citizens. The citizens are completely out of it. Trying to talk to these people. Well, you know, it's been really challenging. But we're really hopeful. Why are you? What are you hopeful about? Get these people out of office? Well, we think it's been very challenging. There's too many people in LA,

because of their own failures in whatever creative endeavor they have attempted who want the world to burn that it lit. They're literally making it burn. There's too many embittered narcissists in that city that don't understand that they cannot destroy the world because they didn't get a series regular role on hacks. You can't destroy the world because you're not on hacks. I'm sorry, homeless people cannot walk around with gas cans because you didn't get a role on hacks. You have to just accept it and move on. There's too many people in that city who just think that

the world should be destroyed because their own personal needs aren't met all the time. And I know them. And they come this well of bitterness and bile. They hate everything and everybody but they do it in such a sweet way that you're confused. Why are the police breaking up the homeless fentanyl dealers in the park? Why would they do that? Why would they remove the fentanyl from the park? It's so bad.

We should have more homeless people harm reduction. Why are the police taking the needles away from them? And they do it this weird way where you go, wait, are you a good person or the worst person I've ever met you're confused because the way they say everything they're like they're like Why why would the police stop these homeless people from stabbing each other? They're just homeless and they're just stabbing each other Why would the cops stop at and you go? Well, yeah, why are they? And then you're like, Oh, wait,

this is a trick. You're a horrible person. You're terrible. You're actually you're actually the worst person I've ever met. We need to do more. And then it's just it's a fake out. It's like when you talk to these people, you're quick to realize how crazy they are. But they lure you in because many of them are attractive. Some of them are sweet. Some of them are nice. And they're like, they'd say the craziest shit. They say the craziest shit. And they're like, you know, they're like, it's so sad. What's going on right now. I hope this doesn't make people like, like turn their back on like Gavin Newsom and

the people that are like really trying to like save us. And you're like, what culture you in? Why are you in it? Who put you in it? What do you get out of it? That's the thing about LA, they don't even get these people don't get anything out of it anymore. They used to get jobs and you have jobs, no jobs for these people. They used to get jobs. You know, there's no jobs for these people. They used to parrot bullshit talking points because it was work. There's no work. There's nothing to do for all of these people. There used to be a system in which you went to LA and they made you famous.

And the trade off was that you couldn't publicly challenge any of the things that they had decided were the things, whatever it was. You had to just do the bullshit. And for that, you'd get a career. Now you do, there's nothing. The chips are all cashed. There's nothing left to give these people and they're still

just babbling and it's crazy and talking about nonsense and what's wrong with this woman? What's her deal? Can let's play hard. This is probably going to be sad. I'm kidding about, listen, this is sad. This is very sad. Let's see this woman. This is going to be sad now. Don't get mad at me if you live in the Palisades. I'm just saying you're not as sympathetic as other people. I'm sorry. You know that.

The reality of life after the fires is becoming clear. Yeah, we're hearing from more people who fled from their homes and now have nothing to return to we're joined by Alyssa Bartle Can you kill her mic because I just want to say what she's saying Okay That's because I know what she's saying Thank you so much, this has been very hard for my entire family. We are going to Aspen to deal with this and to regroup. Me and my husband have been living apart and that's something. And one of our children lives in New York and the other one is in Spain. But

what's been very tough during this time is the pharmacy closed down where I get all of the hapies. And without a happy life ain't fun. So we got my doctor to write me a script so I could get some hapies down in the OC perk me up. Because it's going to be very difficult. I actually hate the winter because it reminds me of Boston where I grew up. My father was a horrible drunk and I actually killed him. I was let out. I was let off. I served some time in a juvenile facility. I changed my name and I faked my own death. I came to

live here in the Pacific Palisades And You know you take the good with the bad Our house burnt down I could see my father's face as I stabbed him in the neck and I texted my husband and I said you better get these pills from me you fag and I'll kill you too Because he knows I killed my father. Well, it's very sad, you know, I, people mourn in different ways.

I'm kidding. Let's not play what she actually said. This is probably the head of CIA's wife. I get a phone call, you've been dropped. Who cares, by the way. Let's play what she actually said. Yeah, we're hearing from more people who fled from their homes and now have

nothing to return to. We're joined by Alyssa Bartle, who lived in Pacific Palisades. She's joining us this morning to share her experience. Alyssa, first we want to apologize for all that you've been through. Tell us how you're doing this morning. We are okay. Okay, we're okay. We're all safe and our with our pets so we're grateful. And a lesson when you say we who are you talking about in your family needs. We have 2 daughters and my husband.

And go ahead, I'm sorry, a lesson. Oh and our 2 cats and a dog we're certainly glad that you all are safe right now and tell us when did you guys decide to evacuate can you walk us through your experience. They're absolutely at 1030 in the morning, I was at a store on Wilshire after I had gone to work. I looked up and looked north and I saw a giant clouds stay sympathetic and to storm Wilshire. I called my girls who were both at home said pack up the dog and the cat and lead to my

sisters so they drove to Brentwood and don't try to have been a sympathetic city Stentree's don't get joined us and that's basically how it happened that that was it. Tell us when you were first able to see your neighborhood how how things fared out. Tell us when you were first able to see your neighborhood, how things fared out. Sure. We were actually watching TV and we saw our house go up in flames on the news. Geez. I'm sure that was such a surreal experience. Alyssa, tell us where you guys are right now.

Where are you staying? We are actually in Manhattan Beach right now because everybody kept getting evacuated further and further south. So here we are. Tell them we're in Torrance. Tell them don't say Manhattan Beach, please. All right, God bless. Very sad for her and obviously for the families that have been affected.

And we, you know, like I said, we, you know, there's not much I can do here because my own house burned down. So I can't do, you know, that thing in the airline when you're on the plane, they go put the mask on yourself first before the others. Well, I'm putting the mask on me. I get the mask because my home burned down. And it's been tough and I've been dealing with that. So I'm not I'm donating money. I'm donating.

I offered to get put people at hotel rooms. I got a bunch of troll comments that were funny. Nobody really wants any help. Nobody wants any help. Nobody wants any help. I've offered. What are you going to do here? Going to force people to get help?

I'm going to show up. I'm I'm I'm I'm I believe right now that this needs to be the rock bottom for the city of Los Angeles, and they need to turn around and start doing the things that made them great, which is making really good stuff. Let's get these fucking politicians out of there. Let's put somebody in there. I get it. Do the thing. Do the stuff. Be like genders. They're everywhere. Do it. But just then

also like kill that fish and get the water in a hydrant. Ellie needs to be run by somebody who goes, we have a you're the gender you want to be. But then also kill that fish. Kill the fish. Hit it with a bat, bludgeon that fish, take the fish out and hit it with a bat in the head and then get the water, steal the water, steal it from Lake Mead, steal. This is Los Angeles. This is not an honest place. Steal, kill that fish if we do not have politicians that can kill a fish what is all this woke shit for if you can't then go and do the cold hard shit you need to do you should be telling people crap and then stealing water that's the whole point tell Tell them, look, Batman's trans, steal the water, steal

the water. These houses are worth a hundred million dollars. They're going to burn down because of fucking fish. Get Rick Caruso in there now. He made that little Palisades mall. And the Grove, the Grove's got a little train that goes around it. Stop importing these failed comedy writer, communist losers that want everything to burn because no one will read their spec script about pickleball. Get some hard operators back. Batman's Trance, did you steal all the water? Fuck off. Kill people. Start killing them again. Steal the water, kill the fish,

do the controlled burns. Who gives a fuck if they're mad? Who cares if Greta Thunberg doesn't like it? Doesn't matter, make a movie about that dumb bitch. There's ways to get on her good side. Bring that Swedish freak in and make a movie about her, her shenanigans.

Keep your mouth shut about the stolen water. You want a movie or not, you freak? Put on your wooden shoes and put on your clogs. Get over here. We'll make a film about you. You keep your mouth shut. If LA is unwilling to bring that type of politician back, we're fucked. If these people can't get tough with these interest groups, we're fucked. If you can't tell people it's unreasonable to have homeless

people running around you with gas cans. I don't care what you think. I don't care what you think. It's silver like it's a shit hole. It's a dump.'s a shit. All to dump. Nobody moved to L.A. to live in Brooklyn with failures. It's a dump. The East Side sucks, except for Pasadena and Altadena, which I do like. But we're not taking edicts from Echo Park. No, no, no.

It was called Beverly Hills, 90210. You know what it wasn't fucking called? Eagle Rock, 90210. You know what it wasn't fucking called? Eagle Rock 90210. Enough. Get them out. Bring hard operators back. Cynical, craven people that will do what needs to be done or the entire city will die.

You can't have people running around psychotic lighting things on fire. You can't not have any preparation. You can't have this fuckboy moron who lives on a vineyard who's who's he said these interest groups own him. They own him. You should be lying to them. You should be saying one thing and doing another. That's the point. That is the point. Kill the fish.

Oh, the fish is going to go extinct. Well, now guess what? The Palisades has gone extinct. You chose to fish over these white cunts with their fucking fake hats. Where are they going to go? Where are these cunts in their hats going to go? That's the whole point of our country is to be a cunt in a freak hat. What do you think it is? What do you think we're doing here? You're not going to

change the game now. So you better figure out how to fix this. Or get out no matter what at the end of the day the city of Los Angeles is not going to be a city that is run by benevolent great people it's going to be run by people that know that any landmass that size that is that unruly naturally oddly peculiar like particularly beautiful in certain spots terrible and others population of 18 million people some of the wealthiest people the world, and some people foaming at the mouth like dogs. You're gonna have to make some deals. You're gonna have to negotiate. This doesn't get done.

This doesn't get done with idealism. It doesn't. You don't manage a city of 18 million people with pure idealism. You can't. It doesn't work. It's impractical. You can't, it doesn't work. It's impractical. You don't manage an area with fires and floods

and mudslides and slope failure with idealism. You make the best deal you can, you hope for the best. We've lost that. We've lost it. We've let people run this city with crackpot ideas that sound good to a 19 year old on Twitter. We need to run this city with actual operators who can get things done. We shouldn't be celebrating the displacement of rich people who will just leave

and take the tax base with them. And I fault a lot of the rich for this. It's a lot of those palisades moms with their hats that went along with a lot of this bullshit for far too long. And your husbands did it as well because they didn't want anyone to know that they were cheating on you. So they went along with garbage politics so they could live their selfish lives and it's fucked everybody. Well, it's time to get real. My house burnt down because of your policies.

My life has changed. I'm homeless now. And I'm living on the street because of you. I'm another unhoused. I'm another member of the Los Angeles unhoused community. I hope you celebrate me and I hope you don't, you don't say anything when I get fun with my gas can because that's all we've got left now because of your stupid politics, your dumb, retarded, self-serving, narcissistic crap that somehow wasn't self-serving

enough. You've managed to be entirely selfish and yet not selfish enough. You've stopped just short of full selfish and you've killed us all. You have to go all the way. Half measures avail us nothing. It's a great line from AA. Half measures avail us nothing. It's a great line from a half measures avail us nothing. Your feel good Twitter garbage politics and your ironic hat have done nothing. They have wrought destruction on

your community. It is time to get some real people in there and kill that fucking fish. Kill that fish or die. Good luck.