The Tim Dillon Show - 432 - Delta Payoffs & The Hamas Parade

Episode Date: February 22, 2025

Tim discusses the payoffs being offered by Delta to passengers of the Toronto crash, watches Elon Musk wield the ‘chainsaw for bureaucracy’, shares his thoughts on Hamas publicly parading the bodies of hostages, and pities Nicole Kidman.  American Royalty Tour 🎟  https://punchup.live/TimDillon SPONSORS: Stash Got to https://get.stash.com/tim To Receive $25 towards your first stock purchase  BlueChew Go To https://try.bluechew.com & Try BlueChew Free - just pay $5 shipping at checkout  ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TimDillonShow?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds?si=e8000ed157e441c8 Merch:  https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show. We are here every week for you rain or shine planes landing on their front or on their back $30,000 by the way, that's what Delta that's what the the criminals at Delta think it's worth if you land upside down Like Batman the ride from great adventure if you remember that as a kid I was in the commercial for Batman the Ride when I was like I don't know 11 or something and I went on it like six times in a row and it was great and

You would hang upside down and that was fun, but you signed up for that show the people Batman the ride remember that That's when life was simple and good. You would go to Six Flags Great Adventure and you'd go on Batman the Ride. That was your goal when you were 13 years old. Not to better understand Hitler, which is now what 13 year olds are doing. But what was he like? Let's just go to great adventure stop talking about Hitler all the time. You're 14 But why did he do the things he did? Don't you ever wonder that enough? Let's go on the scream machine So Batman the ride is

Batman the ride is Was a good ride and my point is if you're on a Delta flight Okay, and it lands upside down You should get more than $30,000 you should get to fly free For the rest of your life on that shit airline, which is a shit airline Delta. It is shit by the way, like all American carriers their shit and they treat you like garbage and They treat their employees like garbage and their employees in turn treat you like garbage

Everyone's treating everyone like garbage and the only reason you tolerate being treated like garbage on an American carrier is because you look at the employees and they look like they're being tortured too. You go, well, they look horrible. That woman has frazzled hair and she's old and she's limping down the aisle and she's a cunt. But you know what you go. She's had a horrible life So I'll tolerate her being a bitch to me because her life sucks It is a terrible terrible terrible thing to travel in this country, and you should get to fly free Delta should go we will Give you a ticket you now for the rest of your miserable lives get to fly free

on our shit airline that may or may not land, but you're in it for free. You don't have to pay to see a woman, a flight attendant with lupus tell you that there's no more of the beef on tray and you have to take the chicken bowl Whatever the fuck that is So I mean can let's get a nice video up of this accident I want to see the landing and I want to see the plane flip over Thirty thousand dollars and Delta goes, Oh, we'll give it to you with no strings attached.

You're damn right you will, you whore. It's 30 grand. It's nothing. I'm hanging from the ceiling of the plane because you flipped it over. $30,000 cannot do any. Now I know I'm out of touch whatever don't comment 30 30 dollars is actually a good amount of money no it's not not when you're almost

dead you dummy demand something for your fucking meaningless worthless life demand Delta Delta's got more money than God. They can pay you more, but they almost killed you. They almost killed you on their shit plane. You were coming from Minneapolis to Toronto. You have a horrible life, unless you were living in Toronto and escaping Minneapolis. But whatever. Take this opportunity. This is the defining moment of your life Delta should give you everything they fucking have look at this. Let's watch this Oh Fuck oh No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no There you go 30 grand by the way $30,000

Play and I I have it on my instagram If you can't find it anywhere else, there is a video of the people hopping out of the plane Okay, it's on my instagram. I've set it to some music and that music is going to get us in trouble So don't use the music Here it is Now

Here it is. Now, this is the people, this is what Delta thinks $30,000 makes up for. You're being evacuated from the plane and one of the flight attendants is smiling while she's doing this because they want this to happen and she's sick and she's actually happy this happened and you should be too. You should be suing the fuck out of Delta. If you have any lawyer that is at all a competent lawyer, they're telling you to tell Delta fuck you 30 grand. Fuck you. Fuck you. I landed upside down.

Are you fucking nuts? Are you fucking nuts? Are you fucking nuts? 30 grand Cuz we the plane landed upside down and it went on fire At the last minute of the flight you think it's all good and it's not Now let's get one of the passengers up describing this these people are entirely too calm they're entirely too calm. They're entirely too calm and and they're gonna fuck their lawsuit up if they if they data. When I was a kid we learned one thing and one thing only. You sue. You sue Morgan and Morgan. You sue no matter what.

It was drilled into our heads. We had a pool in my backyard. It was drilled into our heads. We had a pool in my backyard. It was in ground. Sorry. Sorry. We had nothing else. My mother was a nut. My father was a musician, but we somehow got an in-ground pool.

Not above ground. It was in the ground. My mother taught swimming lessons there. And she said if somebody slips and falls on our pool deck, we're gonna get sued Do you understand that they would say to me? Do you understand that if you or one of your fat little friends falls on our pool deck we lose this house? They said it to me every night they said it every night if you if a kid punched another kid there would be a lawsuit if you injured yourself on a camping trip with another family there would be a lawsuit everything you did there would be a lawsuit. Everything you did, there would be a lawsuit.

Immediately. One of my friends, I forget, he hurt himself. It wasn't even serious. Okay? But literally immediately after helping him, my mother in the kitchen was screaming, we're gonna get sued now.. We're gonna get sued now Now we're gonna get sued I

grew up with the fear of Litigation the fear of litigation it is the most American thing to sue someone You bring them to court and you take what they have It is American as American as apple pie. When you were wronged by one of these companies, you sue the shit out of them. People sue their friends in this co- I know people that are in litigation

with people they are friends with because lawsuits are good and they make us who we are. Do you understand that out there? Can you fucking get that through your head? Without lawyers and lawsuits we are nothing. We don't even know who we are. We exist to sue each other and the companies we can. If you can take what someone else has you have to do it. You sue them. You serve them papers Papers. Don't try it with

me. I got great lawyers. I got great First Amendment attorneys. Don't you try it with me, Meghan Markle. I'll get in a high profile legal battle with you tonight. Don't try it with me, you hussy. Now, look at this fool Play the fool you doing like I were you injured just tell me how you're doing I'm doing all right. No My back is a little sore good other than that good good Pretty Relatively, okay, no the circumstances. No, you're not still kind of Taking it all in and...

Yes, you are. Mental anguish. Otherwise, yeah, I'm... I'm doing alright. You're not. No one died, so... Shut up. I'm grateful for that. Who cares? They could have.

What are you grateful for, you idiot? This is how dumb they are. Shut that off for a minute. Paul is that right? What are you grateful for? What are you grateful for? The plane flipped off. God help them interview me.

God help them interview me. I saw God at the end. I saw God and he said you weren't ready. But God said someone should pay for this. These fools. You're being handed a pot of gold. Shut up. I haven't been the same since the accident I cannot it I

Asked me just asked me. How have you been holding up? How have you been holding up? I'm going to be a person who is in the accident. How have you been holding up? Every moment I feel it I feel I feel the flipping I feel the burning I smell the smoke My body doesn't work anymore in my mind doesn't work and they're they're severed It severed my body from my mind the accident severed my body from my mind I feel as if I'm watching myself what that might be too much in hindsight that might I gotta find the middle ground the problem with me with

the acting is I go hard I go hard I leave it on the field I leave it all on the field but I that was too much but it's somewhere between what I just did and what he just did because he needs this guy needs my what he's got a ramen shirt what is that what's he doing what kind of shirt is that it's this a magazine this guy needs money is a sweet guy here's the thing people have these near-death experiences they was longer they always learn the wrong lessons Let me educate some of you fools. Okay Everybody learns the wrong lessons all these people go to Sedona, Arizona and take shrooms and have all these realizations

I go to Sedona, Arizona take shrooms and go why isn't there a Four Seasons? Why aren't we building? You know what I mean? You gotta we're in the world that we're in. Stop pretending we're in this other realm. If there is one and we get there, great, we'll deal with it then. But right now we're in the earth, okay? And on the earth we got lawsuits, okay? Stop having these transcendental moments

with the news anchor on the fucking Canadian broadcasting company. Get your lawyer and sue the shit out of these people. All of these people have these near-death experiences and then they all go, well it made me realize to appreciate life. No, no, no, no. You were wrong. You are owed. Point blank. I'm just happy I'm here.

No, no You're getting it all wrong. You're supposed to hold their feet to the fire. It's Delta They don't care about you're a terrible company. They're terrible people. They're terrible. They torture their employees They don't care about anything It's it's crazy This is like if someone kidnapped you and kept you in a shed for a month and then they interviewed you and you're like, well, all's well that ends well. That's not, no.

Let's see what else this bum has to say. These bums don't deserve money if they don't know how to fucking work it. Work it! Maybe just start from as the plane is approaching. Tell us what happened. So, upon approaching the runway, there there was I didn't seem to think anything felt off. You know, like physically with the plane.

Right. There was no warning that anything was wrong either. So it's a surprise to my knowledge. Or as far as going in, I thought we were just about to land and everything was going to be completely fine. And then so it wasn't until we actually like wheels hit the ground that I that anything was off and then obviously that was just when it all kind of happened so we hit the ground start to go on the right side of the plane slid on the right side for a little bit, and then ended up upside down, hanging by the seat belts. So this whole, were you on the right side of the plane or the left side?

Okay, this anchor is so dumb. All right, enough of this. Get rid of this. I can't. God, Canada. Canada's got some real dummies up there. No offense. It's the end game of socialism in Canada, by the way.

It's just, everything's just a corporate sterile hell and Obviously, I know it's not fully socialist or whatever, but I'm just saying this is what you get You just walk by places that go wine bar pizza Warm place. Do you want to go to warm place? Do you like warm place? It's just all and this is just citizenry by the way This is what you get at that. Wow. And the plane was doing good. And then it exploded. And then the news anchor's like,

so, did you have the snack on the plane? Did you partake of the cookie? Or the, it's like, it's just the most banal. And I just got back from Canada. We did a bunch of theaters up there. I love it. Vancouver's stunning. I like Toronto. I liked it. Vancouver's stunning. I like Toronto.

I liked it. It's becoming a very dark and criminal country with an elite that sort of runs drugs and traffics people and minerals. And I think that's fun. And the Northern Territories are very interesting to me. The Yukon and places like that. You could go see the Northern Lights. I didn't have the time.

Whatever, whatever, bygones. But there are things about it that I like. I don't like poutine. I think it's shit. And you know, but I are things about it that I like. I don't like poutine, I think it's shit. And you know, but I like it and I like it, everyone came out for it. The podcast is brought to you by Stash. Saving and investing can feel impossible.

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Stash has helped millions of Americans reach their financial goals and it starts at just three dollars per month. Don't let your savings sit around. Make it work harder for you. Go to get.stash.com.com slash Tim to see how you can receive $25 towards your first stock purchase and to view important disclosures. That's get.stash.com.com slash Tim. Now here's the thing and I again I have to wade into this and I don't want to but I have to because it's my job Hamas with the baby coffins they did a whole pageant with the baby coffins or something now I am I have struck a very reasonable tone about this whole entire Middle East thing. My position has been the entire time, stop yelling. Now that's been the consistent position that Tim Dillon has had on the Middle East.

There's far too much yelling on all sides, screaming even, these people, all of them, about something or other. Now, Gaza's not doing well. They've had quite the bombardment, as you would say. Now, so then they had like this pageant, they had like an event where they paraded these coffins around for the people in Gaza of these Israeli hostages that were killed. This is a terrible story and they were fucking babies. This is where you cannot defend what Hamas is doing

Even if you think Israel is a monstrous whatever apartheid whatever you cannot defend the killing of babies It's not good what no matter who does it by the way And I haven't defended Israel killing them and I haven't defended Hamas killing them I don't think we should kill any of the babies. That's been the position of the Tim Dillon show for a very long time. Okay? Okay? Advertisers that still won't come over here? I said no babies in the ditch. Now, in the ditch. Now, but what went on here at this thing, and I'm, can I say this?

I'm all for gathering. Okay? I'm all for people gathering in public spaces. I've actually talked about the importance of that and the importance of community. At Nausium, I believe that people should get together more. The tree lighting, the Christmas tree lighting, it's not that religious. It's a fun seasonal thing. Okay? Now, but the baby coffin being paraded around, it just, it sends the wrong message, I think. It's very dark.

If I showed up to whatever, a Fourth of July parade, a Christmas tree light, anything that went on in the center of town, a farmer's market, and then these guys are doing the baby coffin walk, I would be offended by that. Do you understand what I mean? It's not good. This is not what you want when you all get together. I think Instead of that you do a local band Now it we know the local bands aren't good. We all know that and they could they do covers mostly

but Instead of walking around with the baby coffins you get a local band and you get some food. No one's eating No one's eating. No one's drinking you need more of a festive environment And I just think that the the the baby coffins I got to be honest I don't I don't believe I don't think this piece in the Middle East is coming I'm gonna I'm gonna call I'm gonna make a few predictions right now And I know many people get mad at me because I'm always right. This Elon insanity has to stop. We're getting to it. We're getting to it. He's bombing up

there at CPAC. Can Trump come back? The comic who's killing? Please? And not the one who's bombing with a chainsaw. Bombing with a prop. Not what we need. That's not good. So we have Elon Musk who is up at CPAC bombing with a chainsaw and Doing weird bits now Steve Bannon who's not a liberal and Didn't love his little Nazi salute. I don't know why and I'm gonna interview him soon and I like a lot of what he says I don't know why he did that. I don't know why they're doing this Roman salute I'm not gonna do it right now, but whatever they're doing and I know people are trolling and I know it's fun to troll It's gonna backfire. This stuff is gonna backfire

This is the equivalent of the liberals when they were doing the crazy like when that when that when the kente cloth came on and Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer and all these idiots were Genuflecting with the African cloth on and they were trying to establish their bona fides as the most woke people ever. Whatever trolling is going on with like the Sieg heiling and stuff like that, it's appearing cringe.

Trump was elected in my estimation to fix an economy, to limit immigration, to curtail illegality with regard to immigration, with regard to the public safety in the streets, to reverse a lot of the DEI programs that people in mass don't agree with, including blacks and Hispanics, a lot of them want merit-based policies in America. They don't feel comfortable with quotas. I don't think he was elected to make these, I know he wants to cut government and that's fine

and I think that some of that's reasonable. But you even have people, right-wing people going, you can't smash everything immediately. You're laying off veterans. They're laying off people that voted for Trump who are veterans, who served the country, who are now out of work because they're smashing everything, as Steve Bannon said, with a hammer. Instead of, and Bannon said, listen, I'm for government cuts, but what they're doing is sloppy, which I said before, and some people got angry with me.

I don't care. I'm right. I'm always right. And you people aren't right. So who cares? who cares what you're mad at. You're not right You're led around like poodles. I'm right. You're wrong. Sorry. I don't want it to be the case. I it's a curse I'd rather be wrong like you life's so much fun to always be wrong and be led around like a goof You're a goofball most of you not all of you some of you The people that think it's them. It's you but the point is this

Play the chainsaw. This is let's talk about aesthetics for a minute. Let's not talk about the politics of it let's talk about the appearance of it and The appearance it becomes the politics of it This guy doesn't seem well right now. I Don't know how to describe this this Trump seems like he has given the country to this unelected billionaire tech CEO if

the midterms become a referendum on Elon Musk the Republicans will lose the house in the Senate and Then they will lose the presidency two years later Americans by and large do not love Elon Musk some of them do But his numbers are starting to plummet. He is not Donald Trump Donald Trump kills Elon Musk does not Donald Trump's jabs land hard. He's a political genius whether you want to you might think he's an idiot. You might hate him. You might think he's a fascist. Whatever. He's great at what he does. Elon, it doesn't land all the time. It looks like you have sort of it this is like a weird billionaire talent show this is the talent show portion of what's going on and people are worried i talked to a lot of

people and some of them are going what is happening where is trump where is the one who got elected who communicates effectively? Suzy Wiles, they just leaked something where she was like, we got to message all the stuff you're doing up there. All the stuff Elon Musk is doing, we have to message it. We have to tell Americans why it's happening and how it benefits them. Even if it's lying, we have to do it. It's politics.

So here is Elon Musk with a prop. He's so high. I do respect how high he is. I do miss and love drugs. I really do miss and love drugs. Oh man, he's high. He's feeling it. He's rolling right now. I mean, this is, it's just... That same question, they're also talking about you guys are going to end Social Security, you're going to end Medicare, you're going to end these things. I don't imagine that

conversation has been had with the President and that's the plan. No, in fact, the actions that we're taking with the support of the president and the support of the agencies is what will save Medicare, what will save Social Security. Yeah. I can't be, I am, I'm heavily critical of, I do like the glasses and he is clearly copying me and I If all the money is hate on paying interest on debt

There's no money left for anything. Yeah Can we say that without the chainsaw and you and your two-year-old in the White House and all that? Is there a way to do that? Can you play the meme thing where he goes I I've become meme and it just doesn't land and you're like, oh boy We need Trump saying this by the way we. We need Trump more front and center. We just, this guy can't be the only person that we see every day. I mean, it's just can't, this is not feasible

that you elect one guy and then, here we go. Yeah, this is just... I am become meme. Oh boy. Yeah, pretty much. No, no, no. I'm just, I was living the meme. I'm, it's like, there's living the dream and there's living the meme and it's pretty much

what's happening, you know. Oh boy. I just don't, I don't, this is not good. I gotta be honest with you. I don't think this is good. This is not good. I got to be honest with you. I don't think this is good This is not good. Sometimes the optics are are the story Meaning what it appears is becomes the reality whether it is or isn't the reality. It actually becomes a reality and I just I I

Think they they have to rein him in Over there. He's having fun. Here's what I will say. It is fun to be a billionaire and on ketamine and running around with a chainsaw. I would do it. I'm not above doing it. Do you understand? I'm not saying I'd make the cuts he's making. I don't know all of the cuts.

Some of the cuts seem to make sense. Some of them don't. They're getting rid of a lot of IRS people. I do kind of agree with that. Personally, I don't need everyone looking into where I am. Where am I? Who knows? Where do I live? Whose business is it of yours? Where I live? I live in a different realm. But I just think this insane, like, his appearance, which is, I guess, like the sunglasses the sunglasses everything kind of what I'm doing

I'm a comedian who has a podcast on the internet where I talk about things He is a special advisor to the president I know that he's having fun with it, but there's got to be a way to present this That where he doesn't he seems less high. I've said that to my friends. I've been can you just seem less high? I'm not saying don't be high. Some of my friends could cannot function without drugs.

I don't even want to be near them without drugs. I just mean be less high. Just be less high. Not not high. Less high. Less high. There's a lot. Just just don't don't like tweak out in front of people. I used to be really fucked up all the time.

I would sit at my desk in the mortgage company and I'd be coked out of my guts and I'd be having drips, you know, and I and I would just be kind of like, there's a there's a and people would be like like, hey man, you're like really high. And I think, I mean just look at him there a little bit. He seems a little high. Just be a little less high. I'm just saying, walking out on stage with sunglasses and a chainsaw is a little bit of a tell.

It's a little bit of a tell that you might be, and I've tried to get him on the show, and I'd have a convo with him. to get him on the show and I'd I'd have a convo with him I don't think he'd do it. I'd have a convo with him and we'd have be very respectful and just go what's going on You know what? I mean we could sit here in sunglasses He gives me a chainsaw. We both have chainsaws. Maybe we'll do that it's just we We desperately need I think in this country at the moment people that feel

somewhat sober That's all that's all I'm saying whether they are high on ideas or actual drugs. I don't know high on ideas or actual drugs, I don't know, but we need sobriety in this country. We need somebody who's sober. We need a dad to just go, hey man, here's the reality. You're out of control right now. You're absolutely out of control. And we need that. But this is a dad

Who himself is a little out of control? I think I think you come home and you see dad with sunglasses and a chainsaw and you go My dad's having is going through something like this is like a dad where you would tell your friends before you brought them in your house My dad's going through so we don't know what it is, but he's going through something My dad's going through something. We don't know what it is, but he's going through something. But we need somebody who's sober. And Bannon made a good point. These oligarchs are gonna use Trump the way they use the... Isn't it funny that all these tech people were left-wing, now they're right-wing? It's almost like they don't believe in anything except their own power. That's what it seems like as an observer.

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Bluetooth for sponsoring this podcast. Back to these little baby coffins. I don't like them. I was making a point I got sidetracked. I don't like them. I was making a point I got sidetracked They're having this event in the in the Palestinian. Where are they? What venue is that? Can I sell enough tickets to play it? Sean Malay How many tickets you can I sell here? Can we get this YouTube up, please of all these? Get my agent on the phone. I want to play this venue now. I Want to play the baby coffin venue? I want to play it

How many tickets do I have to sell to play this venue pre-sale code coffin a somber and hugely painful day This is very militant bodies of four hostages who died in her torrent and cruel I was wanted to go to Israel to have that shakshuka It's that breakfast that's kind of eggs are baking in a thing of a tomato, but now I don't. Now look at that venue. How many people do we figure are there? Zoom. Can we zoom? It seems like an outdoor

Amphitheater type thing that Dave maybe it's just a gathering place. I don't I don't know what it is Can I do a live from Gaza Tim Dylan live from Gaza it would just be a fun show Live from Gaza, it's Tim Dillon So now Here's the thing We all think what's going on over there is horrible. Oh Loss of human life is distressing to a lot of people No one who's successful to be honest, but a lot of other people seem bothered Now I'm kidding, but here's what I mean by this

It is very difficult to Weigh the value Okay, let's get let's get this up here. I was gonna make a brilliant point, but I will in a minute. Let's see this Let's see this here. Let's watch it. There's music. There's a Hamas photographer. There's a videographer.

Can you do a Hamas videographer? Hilarious. There's a Hamas videographer hilarious there's a Hamas videographer I mean this beat again not for the killing. Just talking about the beat. Can you get the beat up again? Can we get that beat? Can I say it? I like that beat. Don't like the coffin. All right. Get the coffin out. Get the coffin out. It's depressing. My thesis here is this. My prediction is there will be no peace in the Middle East. It's not going to happen.

I don't think they want peace either, either side to be honest. I don't think either side. I think the people do. I think the people do. I don't think Hamas or Israel really wants peace. I think they just want to, I think they want to ride it out till the end. I don't think, I think the people want peace. I don't think the people are being listened to. I think the people in the Ukraine want peace. I think people in Russia want peace. I think when governments get involved

and when financial interests get involved, it becomes very difficult. I think that people have endured an unimaginable horror in Gaza. And I think the families that were kidnapped and were killed in Israel have endured an unimaginable amount of terror. horror in Gaza. And I think the families that were kidnapped and were killed in Israel have endured an unimaginable amount of horror on October 7th. And I think that at the end of the day, it is very hard to put yourself in the position of any of those people who are directly affected. You know, I'm not a person that was at a rave and ended up in a tunnel. Okay. I am not a person who watched my kids vaporized in front of my eyes in Gaza. All of these people are forever going to

hate the people that are responsible for those atrocities. There's never going to be and here's what this all comes down to. Truly, I am not making enough money. I should make more money for what I do. I am not paid enough money. I should be a multi multi multi multi millionaire for what I do and I'm not and it's disgusting and it's a shame and I don't there's really I don't see a way for me to make more money from this Israel Gaza war There does I think I'm tapped on it. There doesn't seem to be a way for me to get my beak wet in Israel, Gaza Maybe a little Russia Ukraine because Russia was handing out some a couple of pesos a few years ago And they're not anymore somehow. I didn't get on that train

Okay What i'm saying is this there's a lot of tragedy in the world Okay And I I I am wondering How can I add value as gary v would say to this? How do I add value to this hamas thing with the israelis? he would say to this, how do I add value to this Hamas thing with the Israelis? And I just don't see, I'm recusing myself as a commentator from this particular issue. I will still cover it, but I cannot cover it with any real, I just because here's the

reality, I'm not being paid enough money for this. I need more money. If you really want an in-depth analysis here of this, which means I have to go to these places, I have to fly to these, I need millions of dollars to do, I need to I need to go. I can't do it from this desk. You need to pay me an insane amount of money to risk my life and limb and my and to go there and to sit down with them all of them all of them the little Hamas kids and the little IDF people and speak to them and get and say and say what's going on here because that's what I'd say I'd sit them down and go hey, what's going on here and but I can't do it It's I I can't do it. I have too much going on right now to do it

So it is bad and sad and unimaginably horrific this whole thing I'm just saying I don't know what to do really I can't solve this and I don't think anyone can and I know you're all Thinking you can and on X and on your blue sky and on threads and I hope you do Here's what I'm telling you all I hope you do you're smarter than me. You're smarter than me. I hope you solve it I don't know what to do in a world where we're having little baby coffin parades And then the other side is just gonna in mass firebomb everybody and everybody hates everybody over there I just I just can't I

Just don't know I hope they turn over new leaf I Really do you know all the things in our country that we ridicule the consumerism the malls the bullshit they need it they need it there they're steeped in these ideologies these insane pathologies for generations they need a Pac-Sun they need a mall Trump. Sorry. They need to develop that area. They shouldn't be kicked out, but they need the things that we have. They need dumb, consumerist, empty, hollow shit. This is the other option. The baby coffin parade. They need other things. They need movie theaters where you could go, that sucked. They need that. Hamas needs to go to a movie and go, that sucked.

Movies are dead. That's what they need. They need a ranch one. Remember that? The chicken sandwich? They had the flat pickle? They need that. They need these things.

They can't, you know, and Israel needs to chillax a little bit. They're also insane, by the way. Religiously insane. And you don't realize that. But I do like that hat, that furry, that shrivel they have. I do like that. But they need that, they need that. They just get

the ranch one chicken and cheese up please and put it on the ranch one chicken and cheese. What do you mean? Give me the chicken and cheese. This is the classic sandwich. The chicken and cheese is the flat pickle If you could go to a mall and have a chicken and cheese What the fuck happened to the chicken and cheese

Can we get their menu up this is about the Middle East Are they out of business? What happened to the What happened to the chicken and cheese? I'll call Ranch 1 right now. Does Ranch 1 still exist? Ranch 1. Ranch 1 locations. Woodbury Park, New Jersey. We're calling right now. Why wouldn't they answer?

Where is the chicken and cheese? What the fuck? How about Patterson, New Jersey? We're gonna do this for another hour. I'm gonna join Hamas if they don't answer this phone. Hi, is this ranch one? Do you have the chicken and cheese? Do you know the sandwich, the chicken and cheese sandwich?

No, but there was a sandwich called the chicken and cheese that had the sandwich, the chicken and cheese sandwich? Yeah, we have chicken, we have bread and chicken. No, but there was a sandwich called the chicken and cheese that had the pickle, the flat pickle, and the lettuce tomato. Do you still have that? Yeah, we have them. Oh, you have the chicken and cheese? Yes.

Okay, thank you. I'm going to come and I'm going to eat one. Okay. Thank you very much. I love you. Thank you, bye bye. Thank you. People actually like that when you say that to them. Enough with the baby coffins really.

Multiple bus explosions in Israel. I mean, guys, stop dominating the cycle. Cash Patel's in at the FBI. That's gonna be wacky. Cash Patel's gonna go in there. You know the FBI is a very corrupt institution. That's the thing with a lot of these government institutions. Elon and these guys aren't wrong. There is a ton of government corruption. I just don't think a ketamine-fueled chainsaw swinging festival and then laying everyone off immediately is the move. I think you should do some audits.

I think you should, you know, play it close to the chest a little bit. Like, you know, I'm not saying that I'm not saying the instinct is wrong. I think the instinct is correct. The FBI is an insanely corrupt agency. And that's something liberals should agree with. And I think Cash Patel is going to go in there and find some stuff out. I think there is going to be uncomfortable things coming out. And I'm sure there is waste and there is corruption.

These things all can be true at once, by the way. I know it's hard to hold different thoughts in your head, but you can say, yes, this is fucked. And at the end of the day it is good To Go and challenge all this stuff But we just have to do it in a way where people are like wait a minute everyone we all just got fired now We're pissed the economy sucks, and you know what fuck it

We're gonna completely Disavow any Faith that we had in this administration because you're gonna be there for years whether you hate him or not. They're gonna be there and If they can't competently govern It's gonna be a problem for the entire country. So that needs to be the goal is competent governance, which is why guys like Bannon, who are big fans of a lot of what Trump is saying, are saying, you can't smash everything

with a hammer because you're going to drive the country into a level of chaos is going to cause people to completely abandon anything you want to do. Any of the goals that you had you probably won't be able to accomplish. Three Michigan children found living in squalor after their mother abandoned them and this woman was arrested. Good! Three Michigan children found living alone in absolute squalor after mother abandoned them for years. The situation would be deemed deplorable and intolerable for an animal. It is utterly unacceptable for three children.

Let's watch a little bit of this. I am a fan of parents being held accountable. But by the way, with all due respect Is this that bad No, I mean literally I Personally have spent time in homes That were worse than that That doesn't seem it's a little clutter and shit on the walls there's a little bit of clutter and a small amount of what seems to be feces on the door and

And and but is it that bad? Are these kids I'm gonna be honest with you with these kids today Are these kids being too demanding and too? entitled and I don't know if they're being too entitled because that to me seems like a perfectly livable situation That should not hold anyone back from being a billionaire in our country Living like that and growing up like that It should only strengthen you and inspire you as Gary Vee would say who I love

But I believe and and and the many imitators of him of which there are legion on the internet the you know Who every you know the like hustle and grind and you know and pump a coin and dump a coin and we're all criminals now What does it matter who cares? It's all fake that crew. You know what I mean that crew of like it's your own fault You're not a billionaire. Just steed just hit someone over the head Let's watch a little bit of this it's your own fault you're not a billionaire just stages hit someone over the head. Let's watch a little bit of this. Just can't do kids like that they they don't they can't feel for the cell that I have never in my 60 years of living

heard of nobody not checking on nobody. We're still waiting to find out what the charges will be for the mother accused of leaving her kids inside of this Pontiac home and the worst conditions for years. Allegedly, she only popped up weeks at a time to give out food. In the meantime, the Oakland County Sheriff's Department is taking donations for the teens pulled out of the house by CPS who are now staying with a relative. One question that remains is how three of these children were able to fall through the

cracks with family members, neighbors, teachers, and so many others not being able to tell that something was clearly wrong. Regardless, one organization already trying to help is the Innis Center for Children. Innis Center for Children are going to donate... This is the problem. There are so many cases like this. Let's pause this. There are so many cases like this where kids fall through the cracks in our society that it is very difficult to justify an open-ended unending commitment to giving military aid

to the Ukraine when we have children in our society that no one cares at all about, by the way. No one in our government cares at all about any of these kids. They care about, you know why? I'll tell you why. These kids aren't sitting on considerable mineral deposits. Okay? Now if these kids were sitting on mineral deposits or if their backyard was the breadbasket of Europe, okay, if there was grain and lithium ion or if they then we would really care and there'd be speeches about it how important it is we can't abandon these kids it's who we are we're people that come to the rescue of these kids and Lindsey Graham would be out there being

like with his faggity ass would be like, hey y'all, these kids need our help. We need to give money to these kids and their mother Vladimir Putin's an animal. And she only dropped food off every couple of weeks. But we don't do that. We don't do that because these kids mean nothing to those politicians. In fact, those are the kids who end up In horrible situations are then abused by said politicians by the way historically Okay, that is the pipeline of children that disappear and all this stuff. So Never ever ever fall for the high horse moral bullshit

Never ever ever fall for the high horse moral bullshit When they're talking about the Ukraine they don't give a fuck about anyone in the Ukraine They just let them all get slaughtered Okay, they don't care They would fund that war until the end of time and the entire country of the Ukraine would be decimated And they would kill every last man, woman and child so that they could they could get a win Against the Russian military but more importantly so that they could take all of that money for themselves And you know Trump's in there now going well we're gonna carve it up and we want 500 billion and this that and the other thing and we gave you all this money and years and years and years ago I

Had a Ukrainian comedian on my show who now lives in America. Nice kid. And I think it's a tragedy and a horror what happened to that country. But every war in history has ended with some type of deal, an exchange of land, a territory deal people that years ago, there could have been an agreement made. And maybe it wouldn't have been an agreement that people loved. Maybe it would have been a stopgap. It would have been a band-aid. It would have been something. It would have prevented the enormous amount of death and destruction that we have seen right now. And when you see the conditions that kids and this is not and I love the news is like how did this happen?

How were these kids? We're shocked that these kids fell through the it's all over all over the place. Shit like that is happening and we do not care. It's our own country. We don't care. We've abandoned those people completely and that's the issue. It's not that I don't feel for people in the Ukraine. It's not that I don't feel for people in the Ukraine.

It's not that I don't feel for people in Russia. It's not that I don't feel for people in Israel or Gaza or wherever. It's that if you're abandoning the people that live in your own country, in your own pre-saint, and you don't care about these people, you don't care if they're working, you don't care if they have healthcare, you don't care if they're working you don't care if they have health care

You don't care if they're living or dead and then you expect me to believe that you Care magically about the people that live in the Ukraine You care about them You don't care about the people that you see every day The people in your own country you don't care you drive people that you see every day. The people in your own country, you don't care. You drive by factories or to close down. You drive by boarded up main street stores. None of it means anything to you. You don't give a shit. You drive by all this stuff. You drive,

uh, you drive around the ghettos and those areas where people get shot in the head and you go, man, that sucks. You don't care about any of that. And then you go out and eat at the Capitol Grill. But you care about the Ukraine. Huh, that's interesting. That never made any sense to me. Never made any sense to me. So it's not that there's, that I don't have empathy for people

that are dying in the Ukraine. This is terrible, we should have tried to end this war years ago. So this is the takeaway for something like that because that's not rare by the way. That house you saw, that poverty, those people in there, the parents that are on drugs and that have abandoned the kids, that's actually not rare. It's happening all over the place. It's happening all the time. And, you know, it's unfortunate. It's not as bad as this. The L.A. home of Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman

was burglarized on Valentine's Day. How low can these people go? How low can you go? Now, she lives by me in Trebekah. She's got a penthouse, 24 mil. Who cares? It's really not great, to be honest. No views. And her and Keith Urban, and by the way, what is this?

But those two, they have a house in LA. I just, I don't know what's happening. They have a house in Los Angeles and they were, right was robbed on Valentine's Day. In gent listen to this listen to how sick people are that they would rob this House on Valentine's Day. Let's hear this. We get some volume here.

This morning Nicole Kidman and Keith urban the latest victims of a string of thefts nationwide targeting the homes of high profile celebrities and athletes wrong to law enforcement sources tell NBC News the couple's Los Angeles mansion was broken into on Valentine's Day night when at least one burglar smashed through glass to gain entry an employee at the property called police prompting the burglar to flee it's unclear what if anything was taken

according to the sources neither Kidman or urban were home at the time urban has been performing it is. And on 20 years utopia you would want to be in here. Posting a photo of the 2 on Valentine's Day. Well, it's not clear who was behind the break in at the home of one of Hollywood's most famous couples officials have been raising the alarm about robberies targeting celebrities and high-profile celebrities. It's the Chilean gang! It's the Chileans!

That's who it is. Kill it. It's the Chilean. They... It's this Chilean gang of Chileans. I'm telling you it's true. There's a Chilean gang and they're targeting high-profile people. Not me!

Why not? I got shit! targeting high profile people. Not me! Why not? I got shit. They've never tried to rob me. You really learn where on the pecking order you are when no one tries to rob your damn house. They drive by, they go, what's in that? What's that guy got? Who cares? Chinese food?

We're not gonna risk our freedom for that. Well what has he got? It's sad. That's them, the Chilean. Is that the Chileans or is that a music group? These are the Chileans. These are the Chileans. One of them's kinda hot.

Then there's a fatty. Social media's fucking everybody up. Stop posing with all the shit you stole, you retard. God! Our criminals are getting dumber and the public is getting dumber. What does that mean for the future of crime? And also, no one's, it is funny, no one cares, like nobody's a sympathetic figure anymore. We've driven people into such state of desperation in this country that literally no one cares about anything. And you can't even blame them

because they're living in a house with shit on the walls and then they're like, Nicole Kidman was beheaded. And you go, whatever. No one cares. No one has sympathy for anybody anymore no Cole Kidman was beheaded in her home and they stole her teeth so what who gives a fuck she made nothing good in years just eating a thing you found just eating some cat there's people eating cats in this country

cooking them in oil and eating them and then they got to hear about Nicole just eating some cat. There's people eating cats in this country, cooking them in oil and eating them. And then they got to hear about Nicole Kidman's house getting broken into by the Chileans and no one cares. And that's what happens when you make people desperate. When you make, they become themselves, they lose a little bit of their humanity. I'm not saying you have to care about Nicole Kidman's,

whatever, but you know, it's the design of making people desperate and angry. And you make them desperate and you immiserate them and their lives suck and then they go, we don't care. We don't give a shit. Now here's the way I feel about it. No matter what you think, Nicole Kidman is kind of a person she's almost a person she's similar to a person Nicole Kidman appears like a person Nicole Kidman almost feels like a person and that's sad that something would

happen to her belongings you might think oh she's rich she's an actress yeah but she's she's very similar to actress. Yeah, but she's very similar to a human being. Nicole Kidman's very similar to a human being. She appears to be one. If you saw her, you would get the idea that at one time she was a human being or she's learned how to be a human being. If you see her up close, you'd go, that feels like a human being. I know it's not, but so that's what I mean. It's like when someone's like, for example, that little robot in LA that has the googly eyes, I don't like when the home and it delivers the food.

I don't like get it up. That little robot with the googly eyes that delivers the food in LA. I don't know its name, but it has a name. Robot with the googly eyes in LA that delivers the food. It's like a little cooler. It's this, yeah, yeah, get him up. There he is. Yeah, that thing. What is that? That thing. Make it bigger, that guy. Make him bigger, or her, or it. Yeah, so they do Uber Eats, that little robot. Now because it has googly eyes I don't like when the homeless people kick it. That's the way I feel about Nicole Kidman. Do you see what I mean getting robbed? Nicole Kidman is a better looking version of that.

She has eyes. Who knows what she is? No one knows! Do you see what I mean? It doesn't matter. I'm saying you should feel a little bad for when bad things happen. Like, I don't like to see that little googly-eyed thing get kicked. Because it has the eyes. Without the eyes, I don't care. It's just someone kicking a garbage can.

But they were smart to put those little eyes on it. Because I go, well, don't kick it now. A lot of them, sometimes they'll just see a homeless person kick one. Now, I wouldn't care if it didn't have the googly eyes, but because it has the googly eyes, you feel away about it. And that's how the AI comes in, and that's how we all die. Because I do, every now and then, I'll be on Sunset Boulevard,

and I'll be in my car, and I'll roll down the window, and I'll see a homeless man or woman kicking this googly-eyed delivery thing. And I don't, I feel bad about it. I go, that's not good. Now I know that thing can't feel, but I'm like, it's just doing its job.

That's what I feel. Literally, I go, it's just delivering a burrito ball or something to someone. He didn't want to do that, but it's doing it. This is what it is. It didn't want to do that, but it just got built to do that. Someone built it to do that. Someone built it to be that.

Whether it wants to or not doesn't matter. It was built to be that, Nicole Kidman. Do you see what I mean? Do you see what I mean? You would see Nicole Kidman and go I I wouldn't usually care if someone kicked it, but it has eyes That's the way I feel But that's why I feel that's the empathy that's the way I feel, that's the empathy, that's the way I feel when we, in the pal sades all these cunts homes burned down and it was sad even though it wasn't. They have eyes.

Do you know what I mean? Nicole Kidman has a face. Sure, is she a person the way you would understand a person? Probably not. Probably not. She doesn't seem to be. But she's very similar to one. She's almost a human being. And that matters. She's more of a human being than that little service Uber eats thing. To be honest, maybe not.

They're about the same. But she's hotter. She is hotter than the little bucket who brings you the smoothie with the googly eyes in LA. That little robot bucket. Nicole Kidman's hotter than that bucket. They have the same inner life. That bucket and Nicole Kidman are essentially the same thing. She's just bringing you a smoothie. The smoothie is a film. The film is about her getting fingered by a guy.

It's Fifty Shades of Grey and she makes that weird noise and she goes, and there's something about her ear that's not right. But my point is that she's just trying to bring you a smoothie, a burrito ball, sustenance, cheap crap, stuff to eat. She's just trying to bring you something to chew on and get through this thing we call life. And she has eyes. Don't kick her. You know what I mean?

Don't kick her. She's kind of similar to what appears to be in a way tangentially related to a human. And that's not nothing. Do you understand? That's the way we see these people now. Sure, Elon Musk's on drugs with sunglasses and a chainsaw, but at one time he was a human. We're gonna have to remember that

about most of the people who rule us, be they Nicole Kidman, Elon Musk, or that googly-eyed bucket who gives you the smoothie from Uber Eats. At one time, these were people. At one time, these were people. And you're gonna have to treat them like that. Are they people now? Who even knows?

That's the wrong question. That's the wrong question. The answer is they have eyes They have eyes for the moment They have eyes those googly eyes are so important. They knew it when they built that little bucket They said we got to give it googly eyes so the people feel bad when the homeless kick it and That's what I'm asking Elon Musk to remember

Remember that show us your eyes. Every now and then. Remember, we all need to see the googly eyes on the little robot who brings us the burrito bowl. It's important. This is a lesson for the Trump administration. This is a lesson for Delta. This is a lesson for all the corporate oligarchs old and new. The tech oligarchs, the plain scum, whoever you are out there, put googly eyes on your delivery bucket so that we feel bad when you're kicked. If you leave the eyes off the bucket, not only are we not gonna feel bad when you get kicked,

we're gonna kick you. Because every now and then you're gonna see, you see a crowd of homeless people and they're kicking it and they're trying to pry it open and they're trying to take the burrito ball for themselves and that's what you all want to avoid isn't it isn't it give it googly eyes make it feel like Nicole Kidman make yourselves into kind of people and make yourselves into kind of people. Do you see? That's the beauty of it.

Or we're gonna sue you. Good night.