The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret - Bonus Pandemic Special - We Don't Know Why We're Here
Episode Date: April 29, 2020The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret is a podcast in which your hosts, Joanna Hagan-Young and Francine Carrel, read and recap every book from Sir Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series in chronological order. ...This week, another bonus pandemic special, in which we answer some listener questions and then tangents happen. All of the tangents.Potatoes! Bread! Jam! Doritos!Find us on the internet:Twitter: @MakeYeFretPodInstagram: @TheTruthShallMakeYeFretFacebook: @TheTruthShallMakeYeFretEmail: thetruthshallmakeyefretpod@gmail.comThings we blathered on about:Total Body Yoga - Deep Stretch | Yoga With AdrieneChocolat | Joanne HarrisThe Essex Serpent | Sarah PerryInspirobot.meGiraffe Fight - Africa - Episode 1 - BBC OneJust taking a nap after eating all the strawberry jamAedh Wishes For The Cloths Of HeavenMusic: Chris Collins, indiemusicbox.comP.s. Reach out if you need to chat about sobriety in quarantine or whatever @francibambiIf you want recipes and cooking advice/tutorials then ask @joannahagan
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I've just worked out I can hide myself you can yes that's so much less distracting like I
can't do that um if you hover over your thing there's a little minimize button oh god that's so
much better right yeah I can't help it I'm like a fucking canary with a mirror I can't stop looking
at myself I'm staring at my own face I'm so vain I think this webcam is about me probably think
didn't call us about you hey Joe well I can still say this iPhone wanker when does yours arrive
uh between the first and the 12th of May because I ordered it straight from Apple
and I just realized Callum who's also by the way pre-ordered one um I know sorry oh crikey that was
distorted you're spiteful laughter keep it within the clipping range
but he ordered his or fam is in that's kind of exciting how are you getting on
how's uh how's bread I tell by the amount of bread you're baking that your mental health
no no I've been a bit wobbly this week I don't know why but everything has sort of crashed down
on a call I can't even function like a little bit for a couple of days so that was fun but I
still managed to go for a run yesterday and in a moment of complete to not a panic I bought 32
kilos of flour right yeah that's quite a lot of flour for yeah quite a small kitchen uh are you
putting that my la cruzé cupboard is now my flour cupboard and then my bread bin is now just full
of bread bread flour what a very concern I like the idea of you like maybe tucking it into the
spare bed it was considered but the spare room has got so much junk in it because I've been
having clear outs and so now everything for the charity shop is in the spare room yeah that's it
we've had so much time to organize stuff and then I've got these bags of stuff oh I can't
actually take this anywhere which is fun bury it again first of all flat if I bury it that would
just be putting it in my downstairs sleeping room yeah they might work out it's you so yeah so I'm
now baking a loaf of bread every day and just taking them to people because it gives my day some
structure and routine I think everyone is turning to bread baking as some kind of weirdly soothing
thing which I can't judge on because I am literally making a loaf of sourdough apple and
thyme sourdough at the moment every day feel a bit like an upper class Victorian lady like
filling my morning with watercolors and baking and improving myself in quite gentile ways oh
apart from the fact like I set up a door anchor so I can do chest presses with my working resistance
fans which the Victorian ladies probably didn't pinch I'm gonna start doing weights again I miss
I've got some little like what are they called dumbbells thank you I'm gonna start adding some
of that into my day because I feel like lockdown is a really good time to get hench yeah I listen
to the latest cortex episode and cgp gray basically is shaming me into fitness so yeah I I don't
like feel like anyone should have to do fitness in the state of things it's just I don't normally
have time for it and now I do and working out and baking and the two things I can do every day
feel like I have achieved something yeah and I say shaming I mean I took shame from it obviously he
wasn't saying in a shaming way I just draw shame from other people doing things well um but yeah
he made a good point in that that is one thing you can do that you know is going to be good for you
and yeah you know it will help in multiple ways it will make you healthier during a time
where you're worried about your health and it will help you sleep and it will release endorphins
and endorphins again I do uh I think part of the reason my mental health is struggling so much
is I'm so used to being super productive and I'm genuinely now just feeling very guilty and anxious
about the fact that I haven't done enough while I've been in lockdown yeah which is so stupid
like it's exactly the same feeling I have when I'm not in lockdown and I'm panicking about deadlines
and writing and have I done enough today which is really fun which does tell you something which is
it doesn't matter if you now start up and become super productive it's not going to make you feel
better yeah if it's exactly the same feeling you get when you're doing five jobs my instinct would
be to try and suggest some things you could do but actually no because if you feel this way all
the time then perhaps the thing to do is try and get through the other side of it yes I am now trying
to acknowledge why I have that I'm trying to be very sensible immature and acknowledge why I have
that feeling and anxiety and then deal with that rather than trying to give myself five jobs but I
am doing something every day so I can point to it and say that was a thing yeah non-zero days is the
yeah even if it is just a loaf of bread or doing yoga which oh I did the best yoga video today
oh which one it was like the 45 minute deep body stretch one oh that makes you feel like high
afterwards that's great nice I genuinely feel like a sponge that's been really thoroughly
wrung out it was amazing yeah even if I did sort of get stuck I can't do gomakarsen very well
can't do what cow legs cow legs cow legs yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that is the best one ever if you
get it right like if you manage to sit down into it perfectly it feels amazing but um it's really
hard to adjust yourself into it if you get it wrong as you sit down yeah my left hip's really
funny at the moment so like we were doing lizard and I couldn't even get down onto my forearm
so which I normally can quite easily so I tried to go into uh cow legs and I was sitting into it
backwards from all fours and I just like slipped over and then lay on my back like a tassel for a bit
it's a pose it's a pose turtles and animal too yeah no it's fine I've accepted that there is uh
still room for me to grow and learn is a fuck I hate the tassel only back
the tassel only in mobile for a little while off of small gods yet but there's something in that
I can't wait for small gods where's this next yeah I've um I've got it off the shelf um I'm
going to see if I can read the first part before Thursday morning next we'll see I am
rather pleased to say that I did already have a copy that wasn't my signed first edition so
which I thought meant I would start reading it right away and I have got it off the shelf
that's better I read chocolate I finally read that oh did you know it very much I love it
a lot um it gave me real anxiety near the end like it was really well written and like building up
to the climax in quite like a kind of a fast paced but slow paced way um so I stayed up till
about 2 a.m reading it and it was amazing and nice I love it uh Joanne Harris is a ridiculously
good author I'm Anna tells me that the next one the lollipop shoes is really good as well so
I am rereading the Essex Serpent by Sarah Perry which I only read once when it first came out
and I like is that like the oldie timey detectivey novel is that something else it's oldie timey I
wouldn't say it's super detectivey it's about a woman who's abusive husband dies and she's super
into archaeology and she runs away to Essex and there's a reverend oh it's so good it's really
good writing I read it when it first came out but I like read it really quickly because I was in one
of those like devouring books phases yeah so I don't think I really took it in that well so I'm
really enjoying rereading it good see I think that should count towards your non-teriors as well
remember that reading is good yeah it's one of those things like because I don't count like playing
a computer game obviously I kind of don't count reading either and it's like well reading is is
taking something in and doing something and in a very practical sense you are a writer as well
and reading is reading good writing is part of becoming a good writer yeah I feel bad calling
myself a writer right now because I literally have not written anything apart from like parody poems
for the group chat and the podcast Neil Gaiman is still calling himself a writer
and he's mostly attending I mean he is literally writing though is he yeah they've got like a little
cave in the airbnb they're staying in in New Zealand that he takes it and like he gets a day
where he gets to go like candles in the cave and jig I just wrote for a day what the fuck that's so
metal Neil Gaiman is like the most Neil Gaiman thing
by with Amanda Palmer being the most Amanda Palmer thing right oh I want a cave I don't I don't like
caves I need to find I need to find something like that though where I can like oh not outside though
this country's too small for that I would find myself somewhere weird to try and just write somewhere
weird I know that I know that's a good tip find somewhere completely different to try and write
maybe I'll sit in the shed and get eaten by rats do you have rats in your shed
often they eat my broom that's a bit rude of them you should educate them I don't really have
like I'm fairly short of rooms in this house the spare room I can't sit in because it is for
it's storage and utter chaos right you sit in the bath no bath in it just sit in the bath fully
closed look like it's just got to be weird isn't it that's the thing I might try that
now writing for me works best when I am in my very comfortable so I have like a perfect way of
nesting the cushions on the sofa for right so all of your parts are completely gravity-less
and you don't have to work yeah no that's pretty cool yeah I also have to trick myself into it
like I have to just sit and be near a notebook and pen and then kind of just put the odd word down
like coaxing like a rescue dog out of its crate yeah basically just leave a treat there for me
well like normally when I'm really super blocked and I can't write I have to just force myself
into it that's why I do like a month every year where I write a poem every day and why I've done
like those write a play a day challenges in the past because it just forces me to write through
not having anything to write about but this time is really different I've tried doing that a couple
of times and my brain's just gone no you this is just making you unhappier and more anxious
stop it fucking stop it you dickhead well that's nice that you've got that voice in you know
you didn't yes I have trained this voice to occasionally make me stop doing things that
make me unhappy so I am not going to try and force myself to write through not being able to write
I'm just going to leave a notebook and pen near myself at all times and occasionally pop some
words in it until I end up able to write every day again what I've got at the moment when I'm
reading is a notebook and pen nearby so I can just write down tiny little either words or snippets
that I really enjoy I'm just going to very quickly go and do something to bread cool cool cool
and very gently stretch it every half an hour so that the gluten learns how to be gluten
oh I vaguely understand the science behind what I'm doing is it like a fold is it a stretch and
fold I saw that it's a very wet dough so you kind of just lift it and gently and then fold over and
then I'll slap it back that whole size yeah but you're no slappy very gentle oh no slappy don't
slap me don't slap the bread no molesty no molesty we're very nice to the bread
which means the gluten develops gently and then I don't fully understand the science behind this
but it means the because gluten is a protein and it's two different molecules coming together
during the kneading process and by doing it like this the gluten proteins which are the things that
people are intolerant to don't develop quite as much so if it's still no in no way safe for a celiac
but say someone gets a bit bloaty while eating bread because this gets this very gentle stretch
and a long slow ferment rather than kneading and very quickly proving uh this won't make them feel
quite so bloaty self care is treating yourself like a wet sourdough hashtag I want to make
then to like one of those Instagram inspirational quotes anyway yeah intro intro us tell me why I'm
here um hello and welcome to the true shell make he fret a podcast in which we are usually reading
and recapping every book from Terry Pratchett's discord series one a stym in chronological order
I'm Joanna Hagan young and I'm Francine Carroll I don't know why I'm here we don't know why we're here
it's a bonus pandemic lockdown special it is which means basically I wanted to talk to Joanna
and she's come up with a tenuous excuse for us to record it yeah basically shits and grins
so we have planned nothing um we have a couple of lovely listener questions we would just do a
whole mailbag episode but like we've only had one email yeah what the fuck guys all right let's
maybe not have a go at our listeners I'm not having a go that's just how I speak to people yeah maybe
I should be nicer all right cool so let's do listener questions first they probably make some
sense yes so this is a lovely listener who also sent us some good questions back when we did our
bonus hog swatch special in December so that was good that was when we could sit in the same room
the lilacs out I walked to town yesterday and the lilac is flowering yes I suppose something
happened what yeah it's nearly the end of April now yeah which means oh we'll definitely have to
do a bonus episode next month for the 25th yes yeah cool yeah quick before we go into uh questions
and ridiculousness we should probably say about spoilers this is normally a very spoiler-like
podcast but as this is a bonus episode I would assume potential spoilers for the rest of the
discord series although we'll still avoid saying anything about the shepherd's crown we'll get there
we'll put some time codes in the show notes and what have you all of that stuff
because we're not total dickheads wow not saying we're not dickheads but
so thank you lovely listener for emailing us some questions these are good fun number one
hmm rincewin's love of potatoes is something that we see grow exponentially with each book
he appears in and his daydreams about them have most definitely made me hungry while reading them
in the past what is your favorite way to eat potatoes boiled fried mashed etc I'll let you
go for us Francine um hmm that's a very good question I think for me it would have to be
a three-way tie I'm afraid depending on mood sorry Joanna we're talking about potatoes let's try
not make this dirty hey dirty soil foods anyway oh fuck me what am I saying potatoes smiley faces
obviously oh yeah are up there um it's not necessarily the tastiest way but it's nostalgic
and delightful um I really like croquettes so the kind of mashed and fried potato tube things
you know those are good might get some of those from the supermarket but probably probably the
top is going to be thin and crispy fries I think yeah I will elevate those that slightly above the
other two so that's the winner crispy fries preferably with cheese on oh yes better with
gravy oh I've just remembered chip chop chip maybe I'm just hungry I'm gonna say I'm sticking
with it fries I like fries the best as long as I've already well made okay top three then
uh I didn't I I know I know what my number one is I don't know what order my other two are okay
just put it out there and we can we can work through it I'm gonna go with number three
really really shitty soggy took 40 minutes to get here cheesy chips from the kebab shop
with garlic mayo because it's the worst and I haven't had it in so long and I miss it so much
you can still have that you know pizza mama mia is still delivering I know but it's something I
only order when I've got back from the pub at like turn the morning and I'm not going out till
turn the morning anymore actually I haven't gone out till turn the morning for about five years
so when I get back from the pub at midnight and I order bad like kebab chips because they're
any good if you're really drunk they're never any good oh yeah no they fill you with regret as well
so then number two is definitely chip shop chips I have been super missing chip shop chips while
in lockdown especially a chip bussy which like really has to be supermarket sliced white bread
mm-hmm like too much butter yes now do you put ketchup in there no nothing I'm not really a
ketchup person no you're not are you what do you have with chips usually I usually have mayo but
not with a chip bussy okay just so just the like you're relying on the grease here yeah yeah I mean
that's why it's so much butter and there's a special like kind of pain when you swallow three
types of carbs at once isn't that like it stretches your swallowing tube what's that one called
esophagus swallowing tube though I think we should keep swallowing well it's the swallowing
tube and the breathing tube I always forget which one I'm pretty sure the esophagus is the food one
is the other one the larynx I mean that's something to do with your throat fuck I don't know it's
long time since GCSE biology yeah anyway sorry I'm interrupting your potato reverie please continue
no that's fine so chip chip chips I miss a lot because those are something I cannot recreate in
lockdown although I did make some amazing chips last night I will show you a picture of this is
the Nigella Lawson Tuscan fries recipe oh what what that sounds good already
that does look good what am I looking at exactly uh so this is just uh chips cooked in hot oil but
they start in cold oil so they come up to temperature with the oil uh whole kind of yeah and then
there's whole garlic cloves go into the oil as well for the last 10 minutes or so cooking them
about a minute before you scoop it out you throw in some rosemary too how does my
Jella Lawson make everything so much more sinful and then obviously drowned in flaky sea salt
obviously and I had those last night with uh steak and mayonnaise sauce which was filth
absolute filth it was beautiful oh I'll tell you what a steak sounds good right now which means
I'm not eating enough iron thank you for that yes I need to go and eat some fucking spinach
good vegetarianism yeah um what was the other one oh yeah number one definitely has to be
for more which in the world yeah see it's good if it's made really well and I just cannot do
it justice compared to you so next time I make some I'll do like an extra little dish and bring you
some like someone who can't fend for themselves except it's only for confiscated potatoes it's
not even that complicated it's like three ingredients and some slicing oh it takes like five hours
you have a mandolin I have to slice them by hand yeah a mandolin don't I yeah yeah I've never
really used it properly because I've heard so many horror stories and I've injured myself so
terribly on so many kitchen implements I'm not trying to eat another one to you do need to
use a decent finger guard when you use a mandolin like I get a bit nervous around them and I'm
fairly compliment compliment confident awesome speech but in large sharp objects
I've been I got a scalpel and a cutting board so I can make stencils for my painting um and
I'm terrified using it every time just it's so sharp and I'm so clumsy that sounds like the um
the the plums oh um they were so they were so sharp forgive me it is so sharp and I am so clumsy
and now they're all over the floor I need to get a Stanley knife for doing like fancy cut patterns
in my sourdough but yeah definitely my favorite kind of potatoes and I really want them
well I'm afraid I can't really sit here while you go make dough for more so
I also don't have all of the ingredients currently in the house there's no double cream
so oh yeah more questions yes there are sorry I was still thinking about potatoes yeah in which
we are all rinsewind have either of you gotten to see or participate in any of the disc world
stage play adaptations no I didn't know there were any and what did you not oh um I knew they
I did I've forgotten I knew they existed uh who is it I think it's Stephen I can I'm gonna
double check because I feel like this is the kind of thing that people will definitely correct me on
I knew nation had been put on stage because I read Terry Pratchett's essay about there are
scripts available there's a couple of them that have been adapted for stage and you can buy the
scripts and it's not uh like andron groups put them on quite a lot I don't think it's particularly
expensive to get the rights to put them on um I'm trying to find who actually did Stephen Briggs
has adapted most of them although it was Mark Ravenhill who did uh nation I know Stephen Briggs
also reads a lot of the audiobooks yeah weird sisters more guards guards men arms masquerade
and masquerade obviously would work really well carpet jacqueline loads of them have been done
I've never I've never had a chance to go see one because that's just not come up
that near to me and I try to convince uh a theatre company and a guy I was working with
a few years back to put it on but he didn't think it would sell despite me being his marketing
person stood there saying like we can easily fill an entire audience with discord fans he'll
travel to see it if we do it well yeah that was fun I loved working with that dude yeah that dude
that dude mm-hmm uh the theatre company I work with now I'd love to do it but we only stage new
writing so I need to like figure out a way to convince the people I work with to do it just
not quite under the banner of the theatre company which I reckon they'd be up for yeah in fact as
weird sisters is the next book I'm 90% sure I have a copy of the script I might see if I can
organize some live reading from it for our next few weeks worth of episodes cool because I know a
lot of board actors in lockdown cool cool cool we could do a little do a little group reading
yeah I've had like random passages from mcbeth in my head because just the line the weird sisters
obviously starts off on the hand in hand posters of sea and land blah blah blah I'm going with
establishing now and I'll re-establish this in the actual episodes that it is not bad luck to
say mcbeth unless you are in a theatre or on a stage so it's okay for us to say it on the podcast
okay also I don't care so I know but like oh yeah you get tweets yeah
lesbians and nerds maybe lesbians hey also hot potato office stalls pluck to make amends
so you can't spin around when you've got your wired headphones on so also I can't really do the like
clappy thing with you from on zoom so this is this isn't a listener question but this is something
I saw a conversation about on Twitter the other day that I thought was interesting
you know all those weird like hand clapping games we did as kids yeah like it was the really
specific one that I went to a chinese restaurant to buy a loaf of bread bread bread and this is
what he said where did we learn these like school yeah playground but where did the other people
know them from like what's the from like the the year above I guess yeah and then where did
they get it from um I think it probably just appears in in the world like a apparition I don't
know but that's what I mean they're like if you actually look at the words that one specifically
is one of the fucking weirder ones Elvis Presley girls are sexy sitting in the back seat drinking
Pepsi having a baby in the navy one two three I think ours was like boys go woof woof girls go wow
I don't know we had a bunch of different I was Catholic school yeah there was also
I oh god some of them were really dirty and like we were very young
we are the backstreet girls we wear our hair and curls we wear our dungarees and there's
like a whole bit about that one got yeah that one got really filthy I forgot about that one yeah
but I'm such a prude now I'm not even going to sing it they're like weird old folk memories or
something that just like someone must have made them up at some point and then it moved organically
across generations to get to the point where like the original words for something completely
different yeah I'm sure it's like um skipping rhymes as well yeah I was never much good at skipping
oh I love double dutch stuff but yeah but where does it all come from I'm very curious
about the weird old folk memories of seven-year-old girls what was the last last listener question
a concept I once saw out on the fandom albeit very briefly is that rinse wind would make a
better witch than a wizard as more of his skills lie in bluffs or mental games than in
actual magic what's your take on that which is not a take I'd actually heard or thought of before
but I quite like it as a theory I think he would make a better witch than he does a wizard
but I'm not sure that he's selfless enough to be a witch
no I mean I think he is at his very very base nature of being he is a wizard like there is
nothing else um he would accept being in himself but his way of doing magic is very witchy
yeah um but then he doesn't not do magic for the sake of knowing when to do or not do magic
he doesn't do magic because he's shit at it apart from like obviously some occasions in the
dungeon dimensions yeah he's also a coward and to be a witch you need to be able to face a lot of
shit true but then he faces a lot of shit despite being a coward not if you can possibly help it
um I think in sorcery actually he obviously is kind of driven by his conscience to go into it but
I don't think that would work in the long term which is a generally maybe it could be a traveling
witch but generally they're quite settled and part of the community and and I don't think
Winsman could take an active role in a community like that I think is a librarian's assistant he
does quite well yeah I do like how his place is a librarian's assistant we just got a tweet from
the tulip wizard saying that he just listened to his first episode really enjoyed it and he's
looking forward to catching up and going along for the rest of the ride so uh shout out tulip
wizard we uh we hope you enjoy the rest of the ride and eventually getting to this episode
yeah hi hello from the distant past tulip wizard you say distant distantish so now we've got to
come up with our own things to talk about which is great I can always tack on the half an hour of
us talking about food the other week no no save that that can be another bonus or uh the the video
clips I've been slowly tacking together into a video oh god don't do that no one needs to see
video with me makeupless bra less and it's all right we're all we're all very low resolution so
oh that's fine then if you could blur me out
I'm from a pixel-faced fox yeah yeah I don't want anyone to know what this looks like right now
I'll do like the the voice manipulation as well
what's always on like this yeah be utterly pointless everyone knows you
yeah I feel like disguising my voice on the podcast I co-host is probably not particularly
necessary tell me something to paint by the way so I feel like painting today but I've been
completely out of inspiration you should paint do you want something you can paint from life in
your house or something you can paint from photos and references both uh okay in your house you
should paint your favorite coffee mug okay and from photos and references you should paint uh a giraffe
okay because they're my favorite mythical creature
because they're not long horse they're not real I'm sorry I refuse I don't care that I've seen them
in person at the zoo I refuse to accept them they are ridiculous giraffes are ridiculous they are
stupid yeah they're not real have you seen like the footage of them fighting how do they
have you not no they like whip their necks around and hit each other and it looks quite
comical but then afterwards they're all bleeding like those horns are quite hard see they're just
they're pointless stupid animals and they're not real but you love them yes they're my
favorite mythical creature okay I'm just saying like for something you hate so much I don't know
why that's your favorite mythical creature because as a myth it's brilliant it's incredibly
entertaining a stupid long-necked horse that can only fight by whipping other people with its neck
fucking brilliant but then you actually put that out into real world and that's an example of why
there is no and they give birth standing up so the giraffe the baby giraffe just they don't have
working vocal cords because their necks are too long oh they don't no noise they don't make noises
because they're stupid necks oh hence they're not real made up okay intelligent design does not work
as a philosophical argument in a world where giraffes exist okay cool do you want to go out for
the puffy with the jam came up on my feet again oh I love the puffy with the jam
oh covered in jam look at him sticking his tongue out he's so full of jam
thank you for listening to this uh truth shall make you fresh bonus pandemic special
we will be back next week to start talking about weird sisters yes something we'll actually have
something like planned for next week um not just record ourselves talking bollocks for an hour
two hours oh get us but you'll be lucky if you get an hour of content out of it dear listeners
because i'm cutting quite a lot of it to be your own good it's where we got angry yes
uh so yeah so we'll be back next week with weird sisters in the meantime you can follow us on
instagram at the true shall make you fret twitter at make you fret pod facebook at the true shall
make you fret and you can email us your thoughts castles and snacks at the true shall make you
fret pod at gmail.com i would like to reiterate what i said a couple of episodes ago by the way
i've been thinking about a bit more lately anyone who's struggling with being newly sober or whatever
at the moment and who just needs someone to chat to hit me up i'm a few years in and i just
know how shit it must be if you were new at francey bambi yeah and if you need any help with
like cooking i guess hit me up or poetry cooking or poetry those are the two things i have
cooking poetry shaving your head yeah all of these things get in touch and i will do my best to
advise i've been making text video sourdough tutorials for the friends i'm giving sourdough
starter to that is where my lockdown has gone very middle class i'm going to get very into jam
making next week probably that is adorable by the way how serious are you about not wanting any of
this video out because like i'm not going to put any more time into finding clips if if you no no
you can put video out it's fine okay okay so listeners if i can be asked at any point over
the next few days you might see a little little bonus some outtakes and some whatever bits of video
i randomly come across that i like from these little zoom recordings marvelous exciting we
might have a youtube channel does that mean i have to make a youtube channel no i can do that's fine
perfect awesome uh and yeah email us with any thoughts and things that you might have
about yes and thank you who's the listener who sent us questions by the way we didn't
give them a shout out she's just our lovely favorite listener what's her name
uh well last time she emailed i said do you mind if we use your name when we read out your
questions and she said don't worry just call me a listener so okay i'm assuming favorite listener
gold star gold star for you thank you for our questions we enjoyed them yes after the pandemic
is over if you would like me to send you a literal gold star please get in touch and i will do so
marvelous i mean not like a literal star just a sticker yeah you understand i cannot
like my powers so mighty are limited had i the pluck the stars from heaven ah fuck
no what's that poem um oh no it's class of gold never mind what that yates poem
had i something i would pluck x from the sky and spread them under your feet
and cloths of gold ask your dad he's the one who gave me the yates book all right
cloths of heaven that's what it is okay so the whole the whole standard had i the heavens
embroidered cloths in wrought with golden silver light the blue and the dim and the dark
cloths of night and light in the half light i would spread the cloths under your feet
but i being poor have only my dreams i've spread my dreams under your feet tread softly because
you tread on my dreams okay so what she said except i have like a little sheet of gold star
stickers instead of astral powers i think thumbs up i'm giving a thumbs up because i've forgotten
nobody can see me yeah or can they sorry that was meant to be the x-files theme it's not
oh i don't mean x-files i mean the other one try like that yes i always get the two mixed up
in my head no i've forgotten the actual x-files thing no wait that's dr hoom uh
low earthly means okay so quick quick point here yeah David Dukovny in series one and two
of x-files is so beautiful it hurts me oh yeah Lillian Anderson now is so beautiful it hurts me
i like he was very beautiful at the time but like they seem to have peeked at very different
points in their life is what i mean yeah David Dukovny is definitely at his absolute like
glowing peak in early x-files whereas Lillian Anderson now just i'd quite like her to step
on me and then cook me scrambled eggs that's very specific i was trying to think of something
i was trying to think of something that fell into the sfw category
okay cool cool cool i think on that we'd probably better go because we're clearly
hungry and or something else entirely and i've got to go and deliver a life of bread
so my love to Ben enjoy your new role as kiki's delivery service
please get yourself a broomstick and a large bow i might i mean oh you'd look really nice in a
large red bow i must have a large red bow in the house somewhere if not i have the means to make one
oh i wish i could draw anime i'd draw you as kiki i want to get a big basket you can draw anime
there you go that's something you can do i can't draw anime that well anymore
that is a skill from 10 years ago me anyway anyway we've passed dear listeners
we will actually leave i promise oh man i can't wait till we can go for coffee again though
well they will feel like now we're going to have to start taking microphones and record no we don't
we don't have to record everything we fucking do no we don't that would make us very obnoxious
i mean more so we are quite obnoxious people we really don't need to dial it up any further
good point would you like to do the goodbye words front scene
oh yeah yeah sure with that dear listener don't let us detain you
don't sue us i don't think we're going to get sued for badly singing the x files theme
my narcissism has dialed up to 10 at the moment if you download the actual x files theme and put
it into the show we might get sued ego okay yeah i won't do that right i'm gonna go because i need
to pee and do things to brad and have a life i'm gonna hoover and eat some doritos bye excellent
i'll eat some doritos then hoover that's the better way around that is a much better way around
love love love your face bye oh how do i end this every time i can never remember how to there it is