The Ultimate Blog Podcast - 17. An Open and Honest Conversation about Starting a Blog

Episode Date: April 12, 2022

Hey there! Today we are diving into some deep feelings that we have about being a blogger.This is an open and honest conversation about what it takes to be a blogger, the sacrifices that you have to make, and the responsibilities that you take on with blogging. We want you to hear the commitment that is so important to make when you are starting a blog but how very possible this life can be for you too. This episode is packed full of tips and helpful content for those of you thinking about starting a blog or even those of you who have a blog already.Check out the show notes (link below) for links and resources mentioned in this episode!Thanks for listening! Connect with us on Instagram: @sparkmediaconceptsThinking about starting a blog? Check out the Ultimate Blog Bootcamp!SHOW NOTES: www.sparkmediaconcepts.com/episode17

Thank you. for years, we are excited to welcome you into this space where we are passionate about creating community over competition. We are bloggers who want to encourage you to believe in your potential, step outside the norm, and step into a life where you create your own schedule, your own success, and your own story. Join us for weekly episodes as we navigate blogging and work from home life, all while raising a family and having some serious fun along the way. all while raising a family and having some serious fun along the way. Hey, welcome back to the podcast. Today, Jennifer and I are going to dive in to some real deep feelings with you. And we are going to talk about what it means to actually kind of be a blogger, what it takes to do it. And we're just going to have kind of an open conversation with her and I, and we have a small outline, but to be honest, we just want this to flow really naturally.

And you guys can just hear our hearts behind this. Because while we are really great at encouraging women to start a blog, we also want to be very transparent that there is a lot that goes into starting a blog. And I think that that's part of the equation when considering whether or not blogging is something that you want to do. It can sound really great in theory, and we could show you all these amazing perks of blogging and all the things that it can offer you. But we got to talk about the sacrifices that have to be made along the way as well. Anything that worth having is worth working hard for, but there are sacrifices to

be made along the way. And today we just kind of want to dive into that, like what that looks like. And we're just going to have a natural conversation kind of about this. So I think that most of us, when we start our blogs, have other responsibilities. So I was a stay-at-home mom when I started my blog. And I obviously had the responsibilities of being a wife and a mom and things like that. And there were other things on my plate. I wasn't able to devote all of my time to only blogging. Jennifer, you weren't either. Yeah, that's right.

I had already quit my job at that point. So my schedule was not quite as intense as it had been. But I definitely had a lot of responsibilities. My daughter was young. I do feel fortunate that starting my blog came about the way that it did in the time of my life that it did. But I still think it's important to recognize where we're at, what our responsibilities are. And those aren't likely going to immediately change just because we decided to start a blog. No, because blogging isn't like you got a quote unquote new job and you have a salary out of the gate either. I mean, most of us who start blogging, you're not making

any money right away. You're investing a little bit of money in starting up your blog, but a lot of people are not in the financial situation that they can quit their full-time job and blog and build it for the few years that it takes to build it. Yeah, exactly. It can take years to replace your income. I know we've had people that have done it a lot faster and it obviously depends on how much time you have to invest in it. And some of it comes down to luck. Some of it comes down to hard work. But realistically, for anybody who's wanting to turn a blog into a business, there's going to be a lot of work that goes into it. And it's just going to take some time. And you're going to have to meet the other responsibilities in your life. Even

though you're going to be so excited about this, you're going to want to dive into it and give it everything you have. And I think it's great to feel that way. It's exciting to feel that way. But over a period of time, you're going to start to feel burned out if you don't approach this with a mindset of there is a lot of work that goes into it. So how can you do this in a sustainable way? Right. So you have to really get creative with your time. I mean, that's just the nature of it. So the old saying is we all have the same 24 hours in a day. We do. We all do. And seven to nine hours of that should be spent sleeping. And then you have to take all these responsibilities that we have and then ask

ourselves, what's important? What do I want? And if you want to start a blog, it is highly likely that there is something else in your life that's going to need to... And if you want to start a blog, it is highly likely that there is something else in your life that's going to need to... I don't want to necessarily say take a backseat, but might not be at the top of your priority list anymore. And that could be a number of things. So asking yourself, what are you willing to let go of in order to make room for starting a blog? So for instance, I shared in my story a couple episodes ago that at the time that I started my blog, I was making burlap wreaths actually out of my home. And that was something that when I started blogging, I was like,

this isn't going to happen anymore. First off, I didn't want to make burlap wreaths anymore. I didn't have the time and energy to do that. And I was not enjoying it anymore. And so I wanted to replace something that I wasn't really enjoying. And so whether that's a task that you're doing, or whether that's a responsibility that you can let go of or give to someone else or just completely take off your plate, kind of ask yourself that, is there something I can let go of? Is there something I can delegate to somebody else to allow me more time to do this? So for instance, we are recording this at 8.10 on a Thursday night. And so bedtime was delegated

to dad tonight in our house. Dad's the one doing bedtime with everybody tonight. So I can do this. And that sacrifices that I think that that's important to talk about too, is your spouse or your partner and who's in this with you, like their sacrifices there as well. Obviously he's just as much of a parent as I am, so he can totally handle bedtime, but that's a conversation we had to have earlier. Hey, are you okay tonight if I record a podcast during bedtime? Does that work? So Jennifer, I know that you have to make sacrifices as well in regards to timing too. So Jennifer, I know that you have to make sacrifices as well in regards to timing too.

Yeah. And I think it's important to talk about that splitting of responsibilities with your partner if you have one, because they're going to feel like you're taking time away from them as well. So when you start down something like this in a way that's kind of addicting almost when you start your blog, you have to kind of pace yourself because you don't want to neglect the people in your life either. So you have to prioritize your relationships probably a little bit differently because you're just not going to have as much time. So you're going to have to think about, do I give up some of my social activities maybe for a little period of time? Which ones are really important to me, which ones fulfill me and which ones just feel like obligations. I know for me, one of the things

was some of the volunteering at school, which kind of went by the wayside, obviously over the last couple of years anyway. But before that, I really had to think long and hard about the time that I was spending doing some of those volunteer activities. And I kind of decided for myself, like the ones that directly impacted my own child, I would do like if I was going to be able to be with her, see her, whatever. But if it was just something like peripheral, you know, just to help the school, whatever, as long as there was other parents willing and able to volunteer, then that wasn't my time to be doing that. I had to reprioritize that kind of time to take something off of my plate. Yeah. I think that I want to make sure that we're coming across the way that we want to with this. And so what I want you to hear us saying is you can't do everything. It's physically

impossible. So you cannot always be the best mom, the best wife, the best friend, and then also add, I am going to be a kick-ass blogger on top of it. It's not going to work. Something is going to have to give. So when we're talking about giving up these things, that's kind of the heart behind it. It's because I think a lot of times as women, we say, oh, I can do it. Oh, I can do it. Yeah, I can add it on. That's no problem. Sure. I'll take care of that. And then who, at the end of the day, who is the one left feeling like completely depleted and frustrated and short on sleep and you haven't got to exercise and you haven't cooked a meal for

your family that you're proud of or makes you feel good. You're the one who suffers quite honestly. And so that's why we really do want to talk to those of you who are considering starting a blog or maybe, you know, I think this could be for a lot of people actually, whether you haven't started a blog yet and you're considering it, whether you're a brand new blogger, and maybe you are a seasoned blogger who is completely burned out. Maybe this is the reminder that you need to take it back to basics and see what needs to maybe leave. And Jennifer brought up a really great point. Ask yourself like what in your life is going on and that is fulfilling.

Is there something that you can walk away from? So if volunteering at the school in regards that doesn't directly impact your child, are there other parents that are doing it? Likely, yes. And so let them take that responsibility. Maybe getting a carpool to help with different things that can alleviate some pressure. Because I think that when we continually push, push, push, and tell ourselves that we can do more, do more, do more, what ends up happening is that we end up failing in all areas. And we don't ever reach any of our goals,

whether that's goals for having a blog, whether that's the way that we want to parent, whether that's the kind of spouse we want to be. Jennifer and I obviously own a business together. So I think when things get kind of wonky with schedules, then that also for us makes us feel like, well, we're kind of letting one another down too. Yeah, definitely. And so, you know, I think we go into this with so much enthusiasm and that's great. We're so excited and it's such a positive thing we're adding to our lives. And so I think that's why we wanted to talk about this because we do have so much excitement for it. We're ready to go all in and we do, and we want you to,

like, we obviously want you to start a blog. If that's what you want to do, we are all for it. We think it's one of the, like literally one of the best things you can do with your life is to start a blog, but we just want to be real about some of the challenges that come up as well. So that as you're getting into this, if you're new, like you're going to be a little more prepared. And if you're feeling the way that we feel occasionally, you'll know you're not alone in all of this. Right. Cause the highlight, the highlight reel doesn't really serve anybody. Does it? I mean, that's what we're doing. We're just pulling back the veil here a little bit to let you know, yes, Jennifer and I are bloggers. Yes, we started Spark Media Concepts and we help other people blog as well. But we have our own set of challenges that we face each and every day.

We don't always have it figured out. And there are sacrifices that we make every single day to make this work. Yeah. We have a lot of conversations and we're lucky to have each other in that way. And that we can talk through some of these challenges with somebody who understands because you're going to be comparing yourself to other bloggers, thinking that you're not doing enough there, but then you're also going to be comparing yourself to other moms in your community. There's all this comparison and we really have to get past this FOMO, this fear of missing out on things and really hone in on what's truly, truly important to us. Because the whole reason to start your own business, to take this risk, to take this plunge, to work this hard is

to create a life that you love. And if you end up feeling just stretched thin, then you're not going to love it in the way that you otherwise could. So it's really just taking a look at what's truly adding value to your life and what's kind of sucking you dry a little bit. Yeah. As we were kind of brainstorming about this episode, I was sharing with Jennifer that this has taken me a long time to get to this point. So we're in a book club together. And that's just the most recent example I can give here that we were all talking about what shows we watched. And I literally never watch TV anymore.

I mean, it is very rare that I flip on the television. The only TV I watch is like KU basketball or now the Royals are getting ready to start and the Chiefs because that's what my husband and sons watch. And so that's or a number of things on Netflix for my daughter. But for me to sit down and turn on Netflix or turn on the TV to watch a show, it just does not happen anymore. So when we were sitting at book club and everybody was talking about these shows that they'd watched or whatever, I had this moment of like, I don't get to watch any shows. And I had this kind of like, what am I doing wrong? Like, why does everybody else have the time to do that? And when I really, really dove into it, my priorities are just different.

And that doesn't make theirs right or wrong. Mine are just different. So every night when I... Around 7, 8 o'clock, then we start our kids at bedtime. And we spend a pretty significant amount of time with bedtime. Right now, I'm reading a book with my boys. And we spend time reading together and talking about the book and connecting with them in that way. And as I was walking to one of their rooms last night after we got done reading, I thought to myself, this was so much better than flipping on Netflix and just zoning out. That's where I want to spend

my time. So I can't have FOMO that I don't know the latest Netflix show because during the day when my kids are either at school or napping, that's when I'm working and I'm not watching Netflix because I still am a stay-at-home mom. So I'm here for all those things, which is how I want it to be. But I'm not sitting in front of the television watching Netflix. And please hear me out here. No guilt or shame for anybody who's doing that. Because if that's your way to zone, more power to you. I can't. If I want to do that, then that's going to happen at 10 o'clock at night. And then out goes the door to my sleep. And then I'm not the mom that I want to be the next day or the business owner I want to be the next day or the coach I want to be the next day. So I think it's looking at the things that truly bring you joy. And I can't imagine taking away

right now bedtime with my kids in order for me to either watch Netflix or quite honestly, I don't want to work at that time either. But that doesn't mean that that's not what other people might want to do. Maybe you switch it off. Years ago, when I was a new mom, there was a friend of mine who was a stay-at-home mom. And so she was home with her kid all day. And she said that her husband did bedtime every single night. She never did bedtime. That was just what they did to make it work. And for her to know, like she was quote unquote off the clock at like six o'clock, you know, and that, that helped her get through her day. So whatever you need to do to structure your day in order to give you the space and time to do the things that are one important to you to bring you joy. I mean,

I think that that's really important, right? And for a lot of us who are in this blogging realm, the impact that we're having on the world is important and it adds value. So do not sell yourself short. Do not tell yourself, I shouldn't be doing this because likely you should, but there are going to be sacrifices along the way. And I've been blogging now for five years. Jennifer's been blogging nine years. Yeah. Almost nine years. Yeah. And so I think that we have to... We're still doing it. We're not quitting. We're still going at it and we love it and we love what we do. So I hope that we can just show up today as just real human beings who are just sharing

this other side of it. Like, yeah, we've been doing this for a long time, but there have been sacrifices along the way and sacrifices that quite honestly, I think both of us are perfectly okay. Okay. With having to do. Yeah. And I think it's important to remember, you know, nine years, there's been a lot of seasons in my life at this point. And when I started blogging, I was kind of a little more where you are right now, Amy, with a little one at home who only goes to preschool. So you fit your blogging time into those pockets of time when they're gone for a couple hours or they're napping for a couple hours. And now I'm in a phase where my son has grown. My daughter's in school all day. I have a lot more free time. They don't need as

much from me, but you know, I look back now and wish that I would have just embraced a little bit more of the season that I was in when I was a little more limited on my time, because I actually did accomplish so much while I was doing all of that. And I, and I was able to be home with my daughter in the way that I wanted to. I was able to be home with my daughter in the way that I wanted to, I was able to spend time with her that I wouldn't have been able to spend had I been at like a quote real job. But, you know, I think you kind of can fit what you want to do into the amount of time that you have. Sometimes if you have like seven hours, you might get just as much or as little done as you would in a shorter amount

of time, because I think we're just not as focused. So if you only do have a little bit of time, that's totally okay too. Yeah. You don't have to have 40 hours a week to do that. Like you do not have to have 40 hours a week to blog when you start. Yeah. So know that like, if you have a pocket of five to 10 hours a week, that's about what we recommend for people who are in the bootcamp. For instance, we recommend having like five to 10 hours a week. Like what, what can you, can you look at your schedule and can you shave off five to 10 hours somewhere? And I'm going to be honest, if you can't, then you need to really think about whether or not blogging is the next best step for you. And just because it might not be it right now at this given time,

doesn't mean that it won't be someday. Like just no doesn't have to mean no forever. It can just mean no right now. I mean, it's not like the door is closed. You know, like Jennifer said, she's at a completely different season than I am. And there are some days that I'm like, oh my gosh, how am I going to get through this? But then things shift and change. Like my youngest is getting a little older. My boys, they are completely independent. And so I'm able to work if I need to while they're home.

And a lot of times my older one can help me with my little one. If I need to get something done, you know, for like 30 minutes, 45 minutes, I don't think I can work like four hours. Like he can't keep her that amount of time. But I do fit it in the nooks and crannies of my day. I never have like a solid seven hours to work, but I make it work every day. And it's also being willing at the end of the day to be like, I did the best I could today. I got done what I could today. And today that's good enough because you don't have a boss,

which is like the best thing ever. By the way, you do not have a boss. You don't have to answer to anybody. You have to answer to yourself. That's one of the things I love about blogging. We were talking today and I said to Jennifer, I can't imagine having a boss. I'm so thankful that I took the leap of faith and decided to do something like this versus going to work because we get to be there for the things that we want to be there for. And that's really something that for me is important. And that's not for everybody.

So I'm going to say that right now. Your dream doesn't need to look like my dream and your perfect day doesn't have to look like our perfect day. But if that is something that's important to you, I want to tell you that the hard work that you do and those nooks and crannies in the spaces of your day is absolutely worth it. Have you ever wanted to start a blog but had no idea where to begin?

Or maybe you have a blog that you'd like to update and want some help to make it the best it can be. We know that there are many people out there who have big dreams for their own blog that never happened because they simply feel stuck. The Ultimate Blog Bootcamp is an eight-week course designed to help you create a solid blogging foundation by teaching you how to treat your blog as a business, find your audience, design a website that is optimized for SEO, all while providing support via online coaching calls each week of the course. There is a private Slack channel for students as well, so questions will never go

unanswered. The Ultimate Blog Bootcamp will give you the tools and support to create a blog that has the potential to turn into a profitable business. We are committed to helping each and every student feel empowered and confident with the foundational principles of blogging and the behind-the-scenes work that goes into it. If you don't want to blog alone, we can help. We keep each round small in order to provide each student the attention and support we believe you deserve during this process. Since space is limited, get on the waitlist today so we can help you with your blog. The link to join the waitlist is in our show notes or go to sparkmediaconcepts.com and click on the ultimate blog bootcamp. Such a good point. I think everybody just needs to take a look at

what is their goal with blogging? Are they wanting to kind of set the world on fire and build their wealth? Are they wanting to replace their full-time job income? Are they just wanting to make a little pocket money or is it truly just a hobby to help other people? And I think that can help you adjust not only your expectations, but the amount of time that you want to set aside for that every week. But if you're really wanting to go big, then you're probably going to need a little more time than 5 or 10 hours a week to create all the content. You're wanting to replace your income quickly, then you're going to have to do more and work harder. And so whatever your goal is, that's okay. Our goal here is just to help you think through those things and what that's going to mean for

your life so that you can get joy out of this process. Absolutely. Because there is so much joy in blogging. Like we said earlier, we have a combined almost 14 years of it now. And I think so that would make me... I'm almost 40. So I started at 35. If somebody would have told me back then that within a couple years, I was going to be helping people set up their websites, I would have told them that they're crazy and that I was never that smart. So never sell yourself short that you're too old to learn a new skill or make an impact on the world that you had no idea was even possible. You are not too old to do the things that might come your way and be open to new opportunities. That's one of the things I love about this job is new opportunities present themselves all the time. New opportunities, new people, you're constantly meeting new people and networking, which I personally love. I love connecting with people. And so I think that when you look at some of these

really positive things about blogging, it makes those sacrifices worth it. When you get to spend your day feeling passionate about your job, because if you want to start a blog, I really recommend you actually blogging about something that you enjoy. You're going to spend a lot of time thinking about it and creating content and connecting with people surrounding that topic. So don't go with the topic that you think people want to know about and would do really well. I would go with the topic that you're passionate about because you're going to spend a lot of time thinking about it. So think about that. What are your passions and how could you show up and serve others with those passions? And then I just want you to take a moment and imagine that your day was surrounded around that

instead of what you're doing now that maybe isn't bringing you as much joy. What if you got to wake up every morning and you were so damn excited to sit down at your computer, you could hardly stand it. Like what if I feel like that every day? Me too. I am so excited when I sit down at my computer, I very rarely dread it. I love what I do. And I very rarely dread it. I totally agree with that. There are days where I feel like a little bit tired or I don't necessarily want to tackle a particular task that's in front of me. So I think it's a little bit of balancing out some of that stuff. But the me. So I think it's a little bit of balancing out some of that stuff. But the nice part is, unless it's like an obligation that I have under

a contract with a brand or something, if I don't feel like doing it that day, why don't I set it aside and do something that I'm excited about that day and make a great day so that I can come back around to that on a day when I'm feeling inspired for this other task that I wasn't feeling inspired for today. You have so much flexibility because I think we set these expectations for ourselves. But the reality of it is we're in control. And that's amazing. Yeah. Don't we like control?

I think we do. So we all love that flexibility and the control, right? I mean, what is there not to love about having a little bit more control over your own time? So when you said a word that I want to make sure that we address too, you said balance. And I think that balance is something that we all strive for, but I think too, it doesn't actually exist. I have a really hard time with balance. I've just come to that kind of realization. I feel like here within the last couple of years, because balance to me means that everything's kind of always perfectly aligned. And that's just not true. Because let's say you're just starting your blog, like we were talking about

earlier. And we were talking about how you need to take a look at your responsibilities and you might have to pull back in some areas. Well, that doesn't mean you have to pull back in those areas forever. It doesn't mean you never get to lay your kids down at night to go to bed. It doesn't mean that your husband always has to do that or vice versa. It just means that at that given point at that season, it might need to look a little bit different. And it doesn't even need to be that way all the time. It could be two days a week, for instance. So think about what's on your plate and know that you cannot always be perfect in every area of your life at any given time, nor should you expect that of yourself. And you will not be. And I think when we as women and as bloggers and as entrepreneurs

decide and understand that that is not what's expected of us, then that's when we have freedom. And that's when we have more control. And that's when we have flexibility. Because then we truly get to embrace the season of life that we're in and enjoy it fully and what that looks like. And knowing right now, this season of my life, And what that looks like. And knowing right now, this season of my life, I will not be watching all the latest Netflix hits. And that's okay. And I'm okay with it.

Because I make time for other things that are important. Like I make time for reading instead. And that's 100% okay. Because you have to have moments of rest and joy and things that bring you that peace. So we don't want you removing all of those things. Keep that in mind. That should be, you still got to fill up your own cup, but just know that you just can't have that balance all the time. You have to give yourself grace. That balance isn't

the goal. I think the goal is being willing to pivot and what that looks like on any given day or week is going to be different. So something else too, to mention here, there will be days as an entrepreneur or a blogger that you don't work on your blog at all. Like you don't open your computer at all. That doesn't mean you're done and that you're unsuccessful and that you're never going to go anywhere. That just means that that day, that wasn't the priority. Maybe that day it was your family, or maybe that day it was travel, or it was something else in your life that's important to you. That doesn't mean you're done. It just means that it looked different that day. And that's the beauty of it.

That's definitely the beauty of it is all the choices that you have, because this is all a choice that we're making. And that's one thing that we just want to remind you on any given day that feels hard, just remind yourself, you're making a choice for how you want to feel today and how you want to feel in the future and what you want your future to look like. So just show up as best as you can while you set those really important boundaries. I totally know boundaries are hard, but when you have boundaries, you get peace surrounding where you're at in your life. And we promise you that

things will just flow so much easier and you will be at peace. I hope that we've helped you understand kind of the yin and yang to blogging and what that's like. And we would love to continue this conversation with you if you have more specific questions about that. We are open books. Jennifer and I are never going to sugarcoat any part of this process. We want to be really authentic and genuine in that because we believe that that's... People need to have all the information

in order to make the best decision for them on whether or not blogging is the next best step. And we would love to be that resource for you. Thanks for joining us today. Thanks so much for joining us today. that by finding the link in the show notes. For those of you who are ready for the next step and want to start your own blog, join the waitlist for the ultimate blog bootcamp. The link to join the waitlist is also in the show notes. Go out and make today a great day.