The Ultimate Blog Podcast - 21. How to Find the Confidence to Start a Blog and Battle Imposter Syndrome with Life Coach, Lyndsey Chambers
Episode Date: May 10, 2022Do you want to start a blog but don’t feel that confidence in yourself? Maybe you are thinking about it but imposter syndrome is sneaking in. Our guest today is here to help you with that. Lyndsey C...hambers is a mindset and life coach who loves helping women find their authentic selves and to be unapologetic and confident. She gives advice on how to find the confidence to start a blog and to battle the imposter syndrome that comes along with starting your own business.We chat about how the comparison to others that we put on ourselves, the stories we tell ourselves, the importance of being in community with others, and remembering your “why”. She brings the tips and tools that you need to dive in and start the blog that you have been dreaming of! Check out the show notes (link below) for links and resources mentioned in this episode!Thanks for listening! Connect with us on Instagram: @sparkmediaconceptsThinking about starting a blog? Check out the Ultimate Blog Bootcamp!SHOW NOTES: www.sparkmediaconcepts.com/episode21
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Welcome to the Ultimate Blog Podcast with Amy Reinecke and Jennifer Draper.
We're on a mission to empower women who want to start or grow their own blog.
This podcast is for women who want to learn blogging basics and who crave inspiration
and encouragement.
Whether you're just getting started or have been a blogger for years, we're excited to
welcome you into this space where we are passionate about creating community over competition. We are bloggers who want to encourage you to believe in your potential,
step outside the norm and step into a life where you create your own schedule,
your own success, and your own story. Join us for weekly episodes as we navigate blogging
and work from home life all while raising a family and having some serious fun along the way.
all while raising a family and having some serious fun along the way.
I could not be more excited to be sitting here today, getting ready to introduce you guys to someone who means a ton to me. I had the honor of spending 12 weeks with Lindsay Chambers and
her program Beyond the Body. And we actually talked about this quite a bit in the episode
that we did with Ashley
Henry and because Ashley and I had both done beyond the body and Lindsay Chambers is just
a bright light who I think is going to encourage you so much.
So Lindsay, thank you so much for taking time out of your morning and spending it with
Jennifer and I.
Of course.
Thank you guys for having me.
It's the perfect way to start my day. Yay. So Lindsay, why don't you take just a couple of minutes
and just let our audience know who you are and what you do.
Sure. I'm Lynn. I am a mindset and life coach. I'm a mom of soon to be three. I've been in the
health and wellness business most of my life. That's not an exaggeration when I say that.
And I love helping women find their authentic self to be unapologetic, to bring in this,
like, I call it like juicy happiness in their lives.
They're not just like surface happy.
We're like, oh, I have all the things I should be happy, but really truly to feel
confident in who they are as a woman at the phase of life that they're in now and find the happiness
now, even with all of the other things that we have going on and find time to just connect with
themselves. So that's my absolute favorite thing to do, like teaching beyond the body, giving women
these tools that actually work. I feel like there's this big gap between personal growth books and where we actually want to be and no one's actually giving the tools. It's just like this theory and we're just supposed to throw all these things like spaghetti at the wall and hope we figure it out and it's not working.
and hope we figure it out and it's not working. So I love to be able to give women like specific tools that work easy, simple, you know, they work Amy, right? Yes, I do. Yes, I do. And I love that
too. When I joined beyond the body, I was like in a rock and hard place. I said to you, when we
started, I was either doing therapy or I was going to do beyond the body. And I chose beyond the body.
And I remember having a conversation with you about that.
And you saying beyond the body is different because I give you kind of homework and things
to work on and do.
And that's not to be like overwhelming.
It's just truly to like kind of sit in a little bit of your mess and say, okay, like, how
can I fix it?
How can I find more joy in the
journey is what I was just thinking about when you were talking. And I think that that's really
important because a lot of times it's hard to look at ourselves in the mirror and say,
this is what needs to change. And I have to be the first one to take the step forward and change it.
And I think having some guidance along that journey is so helpful.
The support and the accountability is priceless. I mean, we've all been to therapy and left and
been like, okay, so now what? Yeah. It's like, you have all the recipes to make cookies and
no one gave you the recipe. They give all the ingredients and there's no recipe. And you're
like, well, this is cool. I'll just look at this flower and sit here with this flower.
What am I supposed to do? Someone said to me once,
and she's a client and she's a therapist. And she said, therapy is for healing your past and
life coaches are for creating your future. I like that.
And I was like, that's the perfect, because people frequently are like, what's the difference? Or I
don't have to go to therapy anymore because this gave me what I needed. There's a place for both at the table.
There's such a need.
But I do think that most of my women that I attract are like, okay, I don't want to
sit in this mess anymore.
I've been sitting in it long enough.
Help me get out of this.
Yeah.
I think so many women want to get out of it and they want to feel better and want to have
joy.
They want to go after the things in their want to feel better and want to have joy. They want to go
after the things in their life that they desire and dream about. And that's kind of where I was,
honestly, when I joined Beyond the Body as a business owner with Spark and a blogger
and a mom, I just felt this like pull in every direction and it did truly help me.
So I kind of want to dive into that a little bit today and how women can
find their confidence. And I want to talk a little bit about imposter syndrome as well,
because I think that confidence and imposter syndrome kind of work hand in hand a little bit.
And I think that those are just two really good topics. I think that would help give people
the courage that they need to move forward with where they
see themselves in regards to blogging. So a lot of our listeners are either thinking about blogging
or they might've just started blogging. And we do have some seasoned bloggers who listen as well.
But I bet if I would ask them, a lot of them would say that they lack the confidence to go after what they truly want
in regards to their blog. So how do you find that confidence? What would be your recommendation for
somebody who's sitting in one of those spaces to find their confidence to start the blog that they
want or go after the blog that they want? Or grow the business to the level that they want. Yeah.
Yes. I think no matter where you're at, it's all sort of the same underlying tone. So for me, there's imposter
syndrome and imposter syndrome is like really thinking I'm not as good as everyone thinks I am.
Okay. But then there's the whole other side of it where it's like, if I said, Amy, like, Amy,
you need to do this and this and this. You're so amazing. And you're thinking, oh, I could not do
that. There's no way I could do that. That's imposter syndrome. Cause like someone else is
thinking you're amazing. And then there's the whole other spectrum of like comparison and lack
of confidence and self-doubt that maybe it's not imposter syndrome. Maybe it's just this idea of there's no way I could do that.
No one's even expecting anything from me, right?
But that's what holds us back even more in our business is there's no way I can do that
because I don't have the confidence.
I don't have the belief.
What's really coming through when someone says that is I don't have the proof because I've never done it before. So we only believe in
ourselves based off of our history. We only believe in what we've already accomplished,
not, you know, except for those, those people who are wildly confident, it's because they were
always wildly confident and they just keep building more and more experiences. But most people don't have this like super great confidence and you have to build it.
You have to realize just because I'm not confident doesn't mean I'm not capable.
Just because I'm insecure, right? Like just because I feel insecure or less than doesn't
mean that I can't do it and guarantee because I've
built several businesses from the ground up and I have no problem asking for help or asking people
how they did it. When you ask people how they did it, you find out they started just like you did.
They started with no money and a lot of tears and a big dream. And they just didn't let their quote unquote failures
stop them. And they just built on this confidence. So now if you said, Linz, go start a new business,
I have multiple experience from like, okay, I could do this, right? Because I have built up
the proof. But if you haven't built up the proof, and you're trying to build up the proof, it's like
teaching your little kid how to walk. You don't ever say, Oh God, Oh, you fell over again. You're never going
to get it. You're going to be a crawler for the rest of your life. You're constantly like,
good job. Let's go. You can do it. You're going to do great. You like, if we talk to ourselves,
like we talked to our toddlers when they're trying to learn a new skill, we would be so much nicer and we'd probably be so much more successful. So you have to borrow that.
I think for someone who's new or struggling in any area to feel like I deserve a place at this
table, where else in life have you had success that you can borrow? So let's say you have a corporate job or you are really great at what
you do for your nine to five, borrow that confidence. If you can build your career,
why can't you build your own blog or your own business? If you are wonderful at, I don't know,
baking, that's a skill that has to be developed. We don't just get in the kitchen and just like
automatically we're magic in the kitchen. So if you could borrow that belief, like if I could
figure out how to do these really hard things in the kitchen, I can also figure out how to do this.
I think what people I'm, as I'm listening to you talk, I think part of the issue is
instant gratification and that people don't want to sit in that. You know what I mean? Like,
so this takes time. Like this is a muscle that we have to work and it has to become stronger.
And so that takes time to grow that. And I think we have to find patience.
Yep. We look at someone who's doing it really well and go, Oh, I want to do it like them.
Okay. I bet if you went back to when they first started, their original blog posts were trash. Their photos were horrible. Their Instagram was not great.
They all of these things, right? But we don't look at that. And so instant gratification,
I think there's a few different things that come into play. I mean, most people who start their own business are really go-getters or really driven in some avenue.
And they take this experience of like, I'm used to having instant gratification or it has to come this way.
The experience they have now, where they're at now and apply it versus thinking, well, I had to go to high school and then I had to go to college and then I had to get my master's degree and then I had to do that internship. They don't look at how long it took
them to get where they are. And so also in our business, people want instant for anything like
dieting, a house renovation, anything you could possibly think of. Everyone wants it right now
versus thinking part of the beauty is in the growth. Part of the lesson is in this mess and
figuring it out. And we also have ridiculously high expectations to reaffirm that we fail,
to reaffirm this belief of, see, I knew I wasn't worthy. I couldn't do it versus,
okay, that didn't work out. Who do I hire to help me? I can't do this on my own, right?
I think the expectations are so high
that we place on ourselves across the board.
Like dieting.
I was just talking to someone last night
and she was like, she's gained weight.
She wants to lose weight.
And I'm like, okay, well,
it took you two years to gain this weight.
So can you give yourself two years to lose it? And that would just seem like unimaginable to her. Yeah. But that is
the truth of how this works with anything. It takes time to build it. And this idea that it
has to happen right now and it's never good enough, just reaffirms our story of I'm not good enough. I can't see I knew I couldn't do this.
Look, this failed. See, this isn't working. I should just stop. I should just quit. But that
always reaffirms their story. So we all have a story we tell ourselves, whether it's I'm not
good enough, or I'm not supported, or I going to fail. Like mine's I'm not supported.
That's like when things get rough, I haven't had sleep.
I'm going to start my period.
It's like I'm not supported.
There's no one here for me.
What are your guys' story?
That's mine too.
I think it's like I just have to do it all myself, you know, and I can't let anybody
see that I'm struggling.
I think that's the other one too.
Mine is I'm not smart enough. Yeah. So how well do those serve you guys?
Like shit. And you can see bringing it up. We look back at how you fulfill that
over and over again. Oh yeah. So for me, so photography is something that is so overwhelming to me. I've even bought
a photography course so I can take my own pictures for my blog because right now I'm hiring it out
and it's a huge expense. Like it's a stupid expense that I'm doing because of my lack of
confidence with it, but I'm terrified of learning this new skill. And I don't know why. I think part
of me, I look at Jennifer's photos and I'm like,
I'll never, I'll never do that. How long did it take Jennifer to take photos?
And Jennifer's even shared some of her first photos, you know, and I think it was not even that long ago. I was like, it is amazing how far you have come in the years that you've blogged.
Like it is crazy. And she tells me all the time, you just have to do it.
Like you just have to keep practicing it.
But I think for me, it's taking that first step to like,
okay, so this is going to be uncomfortable
because I'm learning a new skill.
And I think that that is what holds a lot of people back
from moving forward in their business
is because who signs up for
feeling uncomfortable. We run from it. We're taught to run from it. We're taught to have
instant gratification and to never feel uncomfortable. And so that's where your
desire, your purpose behind what you're doing has to be pretty big.
Yeah. I think you have to know your why. If you want long-term, you have to know your why and you have to really know like the alternative.
Yeah. What's the alternative? If you have to want something bad enough where you're like, okay,
on days that I don't even want this, this disaster that I've created in my business is better
than going back to that nine to five.
That's exactly where I think what motivated me in the beginning was that I had that choice to make.
It was like this business that I'm building is either going to make it or I have to go back to
a job that made me miserable, to be honest, because it was so stressful and busy. And I think that in those first few years,
that's what drove me to keep building and to figure it out. I think now is when I struggle
more to go to the next level or to build it even more because I've settled in a little too
comfortably to where I'm at. And then I play this game with myself. Well, it's good enough.
and then I play this game with myself.
Well, it's good enough.
And the other stuff that you want,
it can wait or it's not important enough.
There's too many other things to do.
I don't have enough time.
I make a lot of excuses in that area.
Where if you really, really wanted it,
you would find a way to overcome all of those excuses.
And I think when we have something that's established,
just so you know, going from,
you went from A to B, going from B to C will never be as hard as A to B.
Never, because you already have all of these skills.
You already know what it feels like to be humbled.
You already know what it feels like to hire someone to help you.
You already know.
It's like renovating your first house and renovating your second house. You're like, oh, yeah, I know how to do this. It's a lot more comfortable. But we think because your past experiences, I have to suffer and sacrifice and give up time and sleep and my family that you're like, I don't want to do that. I it's not the right time, but maybe you just switch it where if this was easy and this was an alignment, how would this flow for me?
And what would I need to make this work with the time that I have?
It'd probably be a lot more outsourcing and project management,
which you didn't have the budget to do when you started your business.
So true.
I've never really thought about that.
It being
like that going from A to B, then to B to C, because you do, at least you have part of that.
I think you've once again, strengthened that muscle a little bit that you're like, okay,
I can do this. You have the belief to borrow from, because you've done it, you've done it,
you've done it. So it's not like you're going to fail where someone who's new doesn't have
that belief in themselves
specifically for what they're doing. So how does a newbie, how does somebody who's sitting there
at the beginning, and let's say they're not making any money at blogging and they're spending a ton
of time working on their blog, they've obviously, maybe some of them have invested like in the
bootcamp with us and they're not on an ad network yet. And they're not getting a lot of affiliate sales or things like that. How, how does somebody like that,
like stay in the game? What belief, what tools would you encourage them to utilize
in order to stay in the game and not give up just because it's uncomfortable and it's hard?
I would, okay. A few things. I would first look at the stories that they're telling themselves. Are they saying this is hard? This is uncomfortable. I don't have time for this.
They are in one capacity or another. They absolutely are. Or they wouldn't be stuck there
because the thoughts that we hold and the words that we say are what we create.
So I would definitely look at that. And then I would also really do like a time audit,
because we spend so much time, I don't care what your business is, quote unquote, working,
and you're not working. So I think really looking at for like a week or two weeks or three weeks,
how much time am I working?
And they're either doing one of two things. They're barely working at all in terms of like
income producing activity. And they think they are, but they're just like scrolling,
right? Or like reading other people's blogs or tinkering in Canva or doing something that just
is like procrastination. Or they're doing a ton of things
that aren't that they're comfortable with when they need to be doing the uncomfortable things
like you and your photography, Amy. Right. So if you said, okay, I don't have your story. I don't
have time to learn something new. It's just easier to pay, like pay for someone to do this. Right.
Well, if you said, okay, I'm just going to invest 10 minutes a day screwing around with my camera for one month, and I'm going to spend one hour a
week figuring out how to edit these things. At the end of a month, you would be so much more
comfortable. Is it going to be exactly where you want it? Probably not. You're used to hiring
someone who has tons of skills, but it will be closer and closer.
So I think looking at our time and what we're actually doing is really important.
Because when you have a virtual business, there is so much time that can be wasted.
Where if we all opened a brick and mortar, right?
So I used to have a studio and a wellness
center. I'm not going to sit at work for 12 hours doing nothing. If I want to make money,
clients have to, customers have to be walking through my door. So I take that experience and
I always apply it to like what actually needs to be done first a second and third to actually make a living?
Not, oh, this Instagram post has to be perfect.
Or this picture has to be perfect for this blog post.
Does it?
Have you walked into a hair salon and be like, oh, that picture is not perfect.
I'm out of here.
No, you don't.
You walk in.
You're like, the quality is what I'm coming for.
I like my hairdresser.
I'm staying.
Yeah. And so I think
we get, we waste our time on all these things and we think I'm working so much, but we're not
actually following a structured plan and we're not actually even aware of how much we're working.
Yeah. Something, something I think we do too is avoidance. So we busy ourselves and tell ourselves that we're
quote unquote working, but in fact, we're actually avoiding. So I'll use the example of
scheduling our Instagram content or whatever. And I'll go on Instagram and be like,
huh, well, what kind of things are people engaging with and whatever? And before I know it,
I've lost 30 minutes, 45 minutes scrolling.
I could have been completely done with it, but instead I've, then I've gotten myself
down a rabbit hole of, well, I'm not going to create that content and I can't create that
content. And it's just, I think it is the story that you tell yourself instead of being very
confident in what you do know and what you can do. And we compare ourselves to all these
people. I think you bring up a couple of really good points because the comparing yourself to all
of the people, unfollow all of them, make your content before you open Instagram, you know,
do what you like and what resonates with you because part of building your confidence is
finding your
authenticity and you're not going to find that looking at everyone else. So I follow one life
coach, one, and I really like her. One, I don't follow anyone else because I really don't care.
I don't care what they're saying. I don't care what they're doing. And I don't have time to be
feeling like, oh, I should do that too. Or I
should be offering that or that sounds really good because none of it's good for my confidence or for
my business goals. Yeah. So I think thinking about that, don't follow a ton of other bloggers.
Don't follow 50 different coaches. Find one person, if you're going to hire someone
and just follow their system,
instead of like Pinteresting 25 different ways
to do something, that is another way, right?
Of like procrastinating and putting it off,
thinking it has to be perfect.
And when we stop following other people,
when we lessen the noise,
that's when our own voice comes noise, that's when our own voice
comes through.
That's when our own personality comes through.
Back to the brick and mortar model, you wouldn't open a brick and mortar and then go to 15
other stores on your way to work and be like, what are they doing today?
What are they offering?
How are they doing it?
You'd never get to work.
You would never ever.
And then you would just feel like I have to be all these other people.
And I thought my decor was so great.
And now it just looks so stupid.
And you would never, no one would actually ever do that.
It actually sounds ridiculous.
But we do that with virtual business because it's so easy.
And then by the time you get to work, you have no more clarity.
You have no more confidence. You're confused and you've lost your voice.
I have never heard it explained this way. And I'm just like, wow, I can feel this so much because
like we were talking a little bit before we started this interview and I will go out and
look at other food bloggers and I'll look at 10 different food bloggers and what they're doing.
And I take the best of what each of them are doing. And I try to put all of that on my plate
and say, I should do all of those things if I want to be the best instead of just tuning out
all that noise and saying, how can I be my best self? And I think I have probably lost that voice
somewhere along the way. So for somebody that
doesn't know, how do they find their why? How do they find their message that is so important to
them? Well, it's probably the reason they want to start their blog. It's usually pretty simple,
whether it's, I want freedom, I want money, I want a creative outlet, I want expression.
I want a creative outlet. I want expression. They just have to hold onto it and keep reminding themselves. This is, this is why. And Jen, if I were you, I would go look at your own blog posts
and pull up your top hitters and duplicate yourself. Yeah, for sure. You know, because
that is what's really, go to your best posts on social and duplicate those,
go to your best emails. And like, why was this so great? If you study your own success,
then you can create more of that. I think with your why, I don't know what keeps you guys going
in your business with your blog, with your podcast, with anything. I think it can change over
time. And I think part of it is some people need
almost a permission that their why is okay. Because I say when I started my blog,
it's because I wanted to make money. It wasn't like this whole... I mean, I did want to share
and I thought I had a good idea and something different to share that would be helpful to people.
But my ultimate goal was to make money. Now, time, those things have shifted. And I want to,
sometimes I just want to have it be my creative outlet, different things. And then obviously we
started Spark because we felt like there was a need for other people who were in our shoes and
we didn't want them to feel lost, confused, stressed the way we did. So I think those
reasons can change over time. Yeah. I think you're right.
Yeah. And I started, well, I started just on Instagram just for fun. Honestly, no idea it
would turn into a business. I'll just say that. No idea. I just wanted a community online because
I was a stay-at-home mom and I'd always tinkered in other things. I've been part of network
marketing. I've made burlap wreaths for a while. Like I've done all kinds of different things. And like,
so I've always kind of wanted something for myself. And I think that first off,
starting on social media, like I found that, like I found a community and a voice and that
felt important. But then it was actually Jennifer who was like, you should put this on a blog.
And, and I totally had imposter syndrome back then. Me, a blog that will never be successful. No one would ever go to it
who would ever want to read my stuff. And I did it anyways. And I'm so glad I did now.
But I still struggle with that imposter syndrome a little bit because now I have three kids
and my time is very limited. And sometimes I'll just
speak really vulnerably here. It is hard for us sometimes to get our own blog posts up and written
because we're coaching other people on how to blog. And I think that her and I both feel this
pull, like who are we to be sharing when we're having a hard time finding our own
time to write blog posts because we're spending so hard time finding our own time to write blog posts,
because we're spending so much time helping people start their blogs.
And so I think a lot of different things have shifted over the years.
Mine started out not necessarily to make money, but it's turned into that. This is my income and
I do provide for my family. And how great that is how you get to make a living, right?
Yes.
And my number one important thing is I want to be at my kids' activities.
So I want to be where my kids are.
I've never wanted to go and work outside the home.
Being a mom is my first and foremost and what I want to stay my first and foremost.
But I don't want to be lost in motherhood.
And I want to have something
for myself too. So I want my kids to see me working towards something that's exciting and
that I'm passionate about and that it's okay if a mom wants to work, but it doesn't have to mean
that you have to go to daycare and you have to spend all day away from your kids.
There are really creative ways to make money.
And that's what I want my kids to know. Like you don't have to go work for someone else. Like you can create your own wealth and yeah, you have to think outside the box. But I mean, honestly,
our income is, nobody's going to tell me how much I can or can't make. Like we're in charge of that.
So don't you think that you have to remember that on the days that you are, right?
It's one thing to say, this is why I do what I do.
But in those days where you're like, oh my gosh, I have to do three drop-offs and four
sports and I haven't gotten my blog post out.
So your story comes up versus saying, nope, I would rather have this chaos and finish
this blog post at 11 PM than have missed all of it.
True.
But we have to remind ourselves of that. And I think that's why people quit. I think that's how people get lost in it because
they don't look at why they're really doing it and what's the alternative, right? Like my kids
out there were making breakfast. They're like, mom, please don't go to work. Please. I'm like,
I'm not even going to work. I'm going into a room and I'm closing the door. You guys,
the perspective here, do you want to know what it's like for a mom to go to work. Please. I'm like, I'm not even going to work. I'm going into a room and I'm closing the door. You guys like the perspective here. Do you want to know what it's like for a
mom to go to work? Yeah. And, but that's their perspective. And I could have chose to feel
guilty. I could have been like, oh my gosh, I'm, I'm working too much. I'm out of my hours. Right.
I just got done with a launch. So I worked more during launch time, but I didn't, I laughed and
I'm like, honey, I will be done in an hour. Like you're
going to be fine. And I didn't feel guilt. I could have, there's plenty of days where I feel guilt,
but I'm like, wait, this is because I do it this way. I'm allowed to never, never miss a butt wipe,
never miss those things. Right. But it's like, I've never missed a beat. And I think that is, I would
struggle even more than I've had to in my business if necessary, because I know it's what I really
want. And so I think whether it's wanting to make an income, I think people are really
struggle with being able just to say that, like, who wants, we're not here to work for free people,
you know, like. Yeah, I think that's okay. I think a lot,
you're totally right. People are afraid to say that. Like I want to make money. Yeah. If you
can buy it to me, it's like, well, I actually love doing this and I could get paid to do it.
Then you're like, that's, that's the dream, right? There is like your sweet spot. Then you have to
remember that constantly that it's not always going to be so sexy.
It's not always going to be so easy.
And I think also the other thing that we didn't touch on is having one friend that does what
you're doing.
Even just one will make or break you because no one in your life will understand what you're
doing.
Yep.
No one in your life, unless they are blogging or they're building a virtual...
When I was telling my whole family, I want to close my wellness center and build a virtual
online thing.
They're looking at me like, are you in...
They trust me.
Okay, if Lily's going to do this, it'll work.
But they had no clue.
They don't know what email funnels are and all of these things, right?
And so I had to find
friends that knew the struggle I was going through. It's like, if you've had kids and all your friends
are still single and have no kids, you need a friend with kids. It's the same thing. Cause you
need someone that you can feel like this is normal. Yes. I think that is so important. I'm super
thankful that we have each other. Why do you think I
recruited you to start blogging? I needed somebody to be blogging.
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I think that is such good advice though.
And I think that that's one reason why with Spark, we have been, one of our passions is
to create that community.
Like that's why we have the way that we do the course is it's the
online portion, but then they have the coaching calls that they can connect with other students
who are in that specific round. And then we have the membership after, so they can stay in it.
Like we had our membership call yesterday, Jennifer wasn't on it and it was me by myself.
And it was the people, I mean, I've coached for months now. I have never started our
Zoom and then recorded it because that's Jennifer's like wheelhouse. And so I get on and I'm like,
I'm so glad it's you guys. I'm so glad because you all know me and you know that this is not
what I do. And I'm missing my right hand today. And they were so patient and kind, but like,
we've created a community. Like it was a, I felt like yesterday's call was a very like open, vulnerable, real. And like that, when I was sitting there yesterday, I was like,
this is what it's about. Wouldn't it have been super nice to have that for yourself?
A hundred percent, which is why we created this. This, that was so important to us. Like
these people who do work at home, like, you know, this Lindsay, like you want to have somebody who
it is lonely and you want to have somebody who is lonely
and you want to have like somebody who knows what you're doing. And so it's so nice to have
somebody. And so I think that connection and that networking is a really important piece
of working, working for yourself at home. Cause I think it would be really easy to give up on.
If you're like, I'm just going to do this all by myself. I'm never going to connect with anybody else. I mean, it would be lonely.
Or expecting people who don't know what you're doing to be able to support you.
And I think that's something that we, you know, it's really easy to go to your husband and be
like, this isn't working. I'm failing. I'm in here. It can be like, okay, you should just stop.
Right. They just want to like, tell you what you need to hear that. They just want to make you happy versus going to your friend who has a blog and maybe it's two steps
ahead of you. And it's like, no way you just seem to just keep going. You just need to keep working.
I remember years ago at my studio and a client said, Lindsay, you really need to start a blog.
I mean, this is like probably more than 10 years ago. And I was like, no way. Had I had one other person in my life at
the time who was blogging, I had no one. Had I had one person, I would have been like, Hey, Amy,
how you do this? Yeah. But because I had no one else in my life, I was just like, I don't have
time for that. Why, why should I do that? Should have done it 10 years ago, 12 years ago. Right.
But to think about that, even like,
if you don't have someone, don't let that stop you find someone. Yeah. You can find someone
for sure. And in any arena with anything that you're doing. Well, honestly, with social media,
now you can very much connect with like-minded people, very much connect with them. You know,
like that's how you and I got connected. And it's
funny because you, Lindsay, you and I got connected because Jennifer was connected to
Megan from metabolism makeover and Megan shared something of yours. And Jennifer was like,
I think that you would really like this lady. And it was you. So isn't that like such a roundabout
way that you find people who you're
connected to? And I mean, I, and I knew immediately after just watching a little bit of your content,
like, oh my gosh, she speaks my language. Like I love this. And it didn't take me long to want to
like engage with you more, you know? So I think that that, that is the beauty of using social
media for good. Cause I, I don't think that all social
media is bad, but I do think that we have to have boundaries with it in order to find the success
that we want long-term. Yeah. You don't find success scrolling. No, that's not a business
plan and you have to be vulnerable. You have to be open. You have to be able to say, Hey, Amy,
I really like you. I love your content. Thanks for doing like, you have to be able to say, Hey, Amy, I really like you. I love your content. Thanks for doing like you have
to be able to network and build relationships. And I remember, I mean, I ran a business,
there was no social media, right? Like we had to actually go market in person.
You want? So to me, talking to someone on Instagram is like, this is no big deal.
Where if you're nervous, like go talk to
someone face to face cold call 45 people in one day and tell me how that feels. It's such a
different experience. But I think we lost that. Like if you want to learn, if you want community,
there's nothing wrong with building relationships with someone and then being like, how do you do
this? Can I pay you to show me how to do this? Can I just build a friendship
with you? Cause I'm on the same page as you. I think that we forget that that's like one of
the awesome things about social media, but you have to put yourself out there.
Yes. I feel like you can just ask yourself, what's the worst that's going to happen if I
message someone and they don't respond to me. Yeah. They're obviously someone you don't want to follow anyway. Yeah.
They really aren't, you know, I think we can ask that same question though, for somebody who's like
sitting on the fence, whether they've started their blog or not, we could ask ourselves that
question. What's the worst that's going to happen? If I do this blog and then
it doesn't work out, then what's the worst that can happen?
Right. How many hours did you spend? Okay. Well, you would have spent that scrolling anyway.
Yeah. And who knows what the blessing could be on the other side? Because I think a lot of times
fear, if I had to pick one thing that I think holds most people back, it's fear. It's fear of the unknown.
It's fear of success, actually.
I think it's fear of whether or not they think that they're capable.
I think that fear is wrapped up in so many different emotions as to why somebody would
decide not to move forward.
So what's your encouragement there?
Is there anything, if somebody's sitting on fear, like how can they work through that?
Everyone is sitting on fear, like how can everyone is sitting on fear?
Yeah. If we, if we follow the path, if you're like, oh, I'm not afraid, but I'm just not
confident. That's fear. Yeah. Oh, I'm not afraid, but I just don't have the time. That's fear of
giving up something in order to create this, right? So I think behind everything,
either it's fear or it's from this place of love, right?
Like I always like that simple comparison
of it's either from a fear-based or a love-based
and a love-based would never be like,
you're gonna fail, you're terrible, you have no voice.
We would not lovingly say that to ourselves.
So when we're stuck in fear
of anything, you have to get comfortable with the idea that you have fear. And our ego really trips
us up where we're like, I'm not afraid. I can do this. But if the underlying current emotion
is a fear-based or a lack, then that's what's going to be created, right? So we manifest from
the feelings that we're having, not from just like the logical things that we're implying.
So if you're like, okay, I'm going to do all these things, but deep down the voice is saying,
no, you're not, you're going to fail. It's not even worth it. And what's going to happen is
you're going to fail. And we've all felt that we've all had days where you're like, I'm going to,
I woke up late. I spilled my coffee. It's going to be a terrible day. And you keep saying it's going to be a terrible day. And it is a terrible day versus the days where we wake up late and
we're like, Oh, well, I guess I'm not going to wash my hair today. We're just going to put in
a bun and make the best out of it. And your day's fine. So your thoughts and the energy you hold
are constantly recreating your next now moment. It's always creating what you're living in. And so if you
have these underlying fears, you need a mindset coach. You need to really get to work on how do
I eliminate this fear? Because it's not just as easy as, okay, I see the fear, it's gone. It's deep programming. And our subconscious wants us to
be safe from new experiences. And even though starting a blog is not technically threatening
in any way, shape or form, if there's a chance that we could fail, and we've had failure before,
and that hurt really bad, our subconscious is going to try and self-sabotage us
left, right, upside down and inside out so that we don't get hurt again. It's like an overprotective
mom. It's not really doing us any favors, but it thinks it's trying to keep us safe. So looking and
just getting comfortable and asking yourself, the first step would just be, what am I really afraid of? And is this true? Does this
hold any weight? Am I going to give this any value? Because our fears are just our past experiences
and we've survived them. Most of them. Yeah. I think it all goes back to that.
What are the stories that you're telling yourself? And I think that that can be super
uncomfortable to sit down with your thoughts and ask yourself.
Right. Beyond the body week one. That's what it is. I was just going to say that's week one of
beyond the body and just wildly uncomfortable. It is because none of us want to acknowledge
that we're the problem. No, we want to blame everything else and everyone else before we
take that ownership, because then that means that we are responsible and we have to
do something about it. And if we don't have the tools to do something about it, that doesn't
really do us any good. Then it's just kind of like, now I'm just more of a disaster and I don't
know what to do with it. Yeah. Versus having like a place to put it and like, okay, here's this step
and here's that step. You could look at that in your business,
right? Like if your blog's not going where you want it to, then you have to do something.
So that is where you like hire someone or you go to your mentor, right? And you're like, okay,
but that's even vulnerable as a business owner to be like, this isn't working. What am I doing
wrong? And have someone who's better than you look at it, but that's the way
we grow. A hundred percent. We decided this year to hire a business coach, Sparksid. And just,
we've done this business now since 2017. And we're like, it's time, like we can feel that tug and
that pull to grow. And that's been a huge, like stepping out of our comfort zone, you know,
but we know that the impact that we zone, you know, but we know that
the impact that we can make is great. Like, we know that there are people sitting on the fence
who want to do this. So like, how do we find them? How do we come alongside these women,
but we have to find them first, you know, and how do we come alongside them and say,
Hey, you want to do this? Let us show you how, because that's what it brings us so much joy. So we love what we do, but we have to find a way to be able to connect with more people.
And so part of that was hiring a business coach who could take a look at what we were
doing and saying, oh, so what you're actually doing is pretty great.
But here's a couple of things that I think that we could do differently.
And I think it's just being open to that.
It's not necessarily open for criticism as much as it's being open to change. Yeah. Change. And like, Hey, so it's
okay to like shift your mindset or if this works for you for a time, that's fine. But that doesn't
mean it can't look different. Right. Or if you feel like you're burned out and you're bringing
the candle on both ends, how can we shift this and make it feel a little bit more fluid? So you can remember your why you can remember why you want to do all
these things and you can still have joy in what you've decided to do. Like, so obviously I wanted
to be able to be a stay at home mom and, and all of that, but I want to have my blog too. So how
can I find joy in both places at the same time? Because I do believe that's possible, but, but I don't
believe that's effortless to do. I think it is, that is an action in order to find the joy energy.
Yes. And I think we talked a little bit before we started, but I think it is kind of that. No,
we didn't. You said this during the podcast that it's the energy and the mindset that you have
going into it before you even start.
That was honestly kind of a light bulb moment for me because we are really involved in a lot
of activities. And so instead of being frustrated with that, sometimes I need to like, look at the
blessing of that. Like I get to pick my kids up from school and I get it very purposely. Yes. And
I get to feed them
dinner. And then I'm the one who gets to take them to their activities. My husband is like a
great reminder of that because when we moved before we moved, he was working 50 hours a week.
He was my five o'clock hero. That's what I call them. Like he's home at five. He got two hours
with our children and now he's home all the time. He works like 10 hours a week Like he's home at five. He got two hours with our children and now he's home all the time.
He works like 10 hours a week and he's constantly like, this is the, we're so lucky.
Yeah. We're so lucky that, and not lucky. We're so blessed that we chose to do this intentionally.
And on days that he's like, you know, going from not being a stay at home parent to being a stay at home parent is kind of like a culture shock.
Yeah.
He's like deep in it.
And I'm like, just go just go do something with adults for a little bit.
Like, just go and remember why you're doing this.
Remember the alternative.
And I think even with like, I love that you brought up hiring someone because our pride will knock us down every time for
hiring. So I don't care if it is hiring a life coach or a cleaning lady or a business coach.
If you are banging your head against the wall, that's not called growth. You're just being
stubborn. And a lot of times we can outsource. I finally hired an assistant. That
was so hard for me to finally hire assistant because part of having a virtual business for
me was not having to have employees anymore or contractors because I wanted to be not reliant
on anyone because I'd had so many employees for so long and they don't show up. They don't care.
They're not emotionally invested. And I'm like, never again. I don't want to have to have anyone else ever again.
And I'm like, well, that story is not really serving me now.
Right.
I don't actually have to do all of it.
If I want to grow and I want to work, I only work, Amy, you know, that's like 10 hour,
10 to 15 hours a week, 15 if I'm like launching.
It's like, if I want to continue doing what I'm doing without killing myself, I actually do need to hire someone. But it takes you looking at like, why am I telling
myself I can't? Why am I telling myself it's a lot of money? I'm not worth the investment.
I should be ashamed to hire some versus thank goodness I have the resources and access to
hire someone. Yeah. 100%. I think you're right that pride gets in the way.
Oh my gosh. Big time. Our egos are so sneaky. They're so sneaky. And that goes back to the
story we tell ourselves. I should be better. I should be able to handle this. I'm failing.
Other people do this all on their own, which is not true. We were talking
about this before we hit record, right? So many people that have successful businesses have
someone doing something for them, whether it's content management, DM conversations, copywriting,
like there's someone doing something, picking up their kids. Yes. I think that that's true. And so if you're new and you're
listening to this, I think that's something important to understand is that if you're
comparing where you're at in your journey to somebody who's been blogging for five or more
years, they are likely having help of some sort because they've grown an income enough to be able
to afford the help. And if you stick with it, you'll be there too. You'll get to that point. But I think it's a lie to tell ourselves that you have to do it all
by yourself. And that if you have to hire help, that that makes you less worthy because that's
not true. So I hire out my photography when I have recipe posts currently. But then for me,
on a simple level, it was me
hiring a cleaning lady. It's something even saying on this podcast, I feel like shame coming up in my
throat. Like, oh my gosh, I am an entitled woman by saying I have a cleaning lady, but I am a
business owner. Yes, I am a stay-at-home mom, but I have three children. We're involved in a lot of
things. And there is nothing wrong with me hiring somebody for help by saying I'm throwing up the white flag here. And like,
I cannot add that on my plate too. There's too many other things. And I'm pulled in so many
directions that that had to be one of the things that I could easily give up.
Yeah. So I teach this a lot with clients, especially if I'm like doing a workshop or something in terms of like, what is on your to-do list and what could you get rid of or outsource or hire someone for?
And I think there is this, you know, women have such a pressure and we're in such uncharted
territories. Our moms did not have to navigate social media.
Yeah.
Even if our, my mom was an entrepreneur, but she didn't have to run like five platforms
and see her clients and take care of all of these things. Right. I think where we're at now
as women who think we have to be able to do it all and we better look really good doing it.
It's so ridiculously, it just is so it's such a self-sabotaging behavior, but it's become the
norm because we don't see the teams behind these people. And I love to follow people who actually
show their team and actually talk about this. But when you talk about being able to, even the shame
around, like I need to hire someone versus thank goodness.
And being in a place of gratitude that I have the means to hire someone, right? Why is there
shame in that versus, oh my gosh, this is such a blessing to my family and my business. Cause
now I have more time for me. It's being a happy mom because I don't want to clean. Right. And so I think there's something
wonderful when you can get over the blocks, when it comes to outsourcing or getting rid of any,
even just like asking your husband to do something for you or your children or your roommate. Like
I have people that are like, Oh, I'm not married. I'm like, we have a roommate.
Like, can your roommate help you out? Human beings need community. Yeah. Whether you have to hire that community or not,
whether you have to hire that support or not, we need it. We can't do everything that we give
ourselves to do. Then it also comes down to like, let's talk about what's not working and then just
stop doing that. I'm sure you guys have both had those experiences in your businesses where like,
just stop doing that. I'm sure you guys have both had those experiences in your businesses where like, like Jen saying, I look at 15 photographers and bloggers, but then did you get a point where
you're like, I can't, I don't want to keep up. What can I stop doing? Yeah. And I actually had
another part of my business where I had spent, I mean, I don't know, Amy, years creating this meal plan system. And I had invested so much in it and it was just not doing what I wanted it to do.
And I remember sitting down with Amy and just talking about it.
And she's like, but do you love it?
Like, do you enjoy it?
And I was like, no.
And why are you doing it?
Because I feel like I'm supposed to, because I've done all this work because I've invested
so much in it.
And honestly,
the day that I let that go and realized I should focus on other aspects of the business that were
actually important to me was like a huge relief. And without regretting it, you learned so many
lessons in that process. Yeah. And I think one of the lessons is having just an honest conversation
with yourself. Yeah. And sometimes when we sit down and have those honest conversations, you're like,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't, that's not what I think. Like we try to talk ourselves out
of our actual true feelings because either it's ugly or it's not perfect or it's not what you
think it should be. But I think we have to just own it sometimes. Like, you know what, this actually
isn't serving me at all. It's not serving me. It's not serving my family. And it's just making me grumpy and
frustrated every time I have to do it. So why am I doing it? And I understand there are things like
we have to do, like, I don't like to fold the laundry, but like it has to be done. Like,
so there are some things that I think we have to, once again, change our mindset surrounding it.
There are some things that I think we have to, once again, change our mindset surrounding it.
As a blogger too, there are things that we don't love every aspect of blogging either, you know?
No.
But do you love the majority of it?
Yeah.
Like I love what I do, but there are a few things, photography, that I don't love doing. And so you try to find the joy in the things that you do love.
And then when you have to do the things that aren't your favorite, that's when the why comes in.
That's where you're like, but this is why I'm doing it.
Like, I get to pick up my kids today.
I get to be present.
I don't have to hire help to watch my children.
Like, I get to be here.
Or I get to be traveling and working from a beach or from my lake house.
Right?
to be traveling and working from a beach or from my lake house or right. There's all these reasons we go into virtual businesses and the get to is so important. And there is ugly stuff we don't
like to do in every aspect, every. And I think that's okay to honor that and know that it doesn't
have to look perfect all the time. And then you said it right. Like changing your mindset around it. Right. So I'm going to use your photography as
an example because you put it out there. So you, instead of resisting, resisting, I don't like
doing this. I don't like doing this. The result would be, wouldn't it be nice if I could be proud
of my own work and not have to spend money because I want to spend this money on something else.
So if you attach value to what you're going to do with that income, like I'm going to take that
income and I'm going to go on vacation with my husband because we haven't been on vacation in
a long time. Or I'm going to go on this girl's trip because I'm spending this much money every
month. And it would feel so good to be like, I actually taught myself this skill and got out of my own way. So now you
can change the narrative moving forward where I'm going to learn to be good at this. Okay.
I'm going to open the damn course, Lindsay. I'm just going to open the course and I'm going to
learn how to shoot. I'm just going, it's scary because it's new, but how many scary, how many
new scary things have you taught yourself?
Yeah. A lot.
A ton. And so if you think of the end result, how satisfying is it going to be when you have that picture? That's like, these are all mine. I don't have to wait on someone's schedule.
Yep. Yes.
I don't need to be reliant on someone else.
Well, to be honest, it holds me back.
Yeah. It does. It holds me. I know.
100% holds me back because I can only afford so much. Yeah. And so I can only post that much,
which just doesn't allow me to grow at all. So apply that to anybody's business.
So you're doing it for your freedom and your flexibility, but you're blocking it,
blocking it, blocking it. Cause your story is I don't have freedom and flexibility versus let's
just rip off the bandaid. Now you're
going to go make out with that camera and be like, I love this camera so much. It's going to give me,
this is a vehicle to freedom. And then it changes the whole story. Just like folding laundry. We can
all hate folding laundry or we can be like, it's my one hour that I listened to my book,
or it's my one hour that I put my girlfriend in
my ear and have my husband and I fold laundry together. It's like our time that we sit there
and we, the kids magically disappear when you're folding laundry. I don't know. It's like,
they already know. And it's the one time we like sit there and have a conversation and we have
actually been turned this story around where it's like,
this is so nice to fold laundry with you because we have time to connect versus you should see how
much laundry is out there right now. So my gosh, we were folding it last night and he's like,
well, you put it away. And I'm like, cause he doesn't like putting it away. And there's like,
literally like six loads. Yeah. That was me a couple of weeks ago. I was like, this has gotten
completely out of control. There was six loads that needed folded because I'll do laundry all day but it's the actual act
of folding it and then putting it away that I don't like so don't take it out of the dryer and
tell it like I fold and put in the basket and fold and put in the basket otherwise this is what
happens we have six loads. But so change the mindset
or think, how could I, what is something that right? Like, so even for those of us that work
at home, I have to sit at my desk forever. Well, what else do you like to do? Play music,
light a candle, make the atmosphere enjoyable. I like forgot how much I loved listening to music
when I'm working. And the other day, literally last week, I'm like, oh, wait a minute.
I used to, in college, I would listen to music when I studied.
In my center, I always had music on because it was just on.
So I turned on music and it was like a whole different experience
that I forgot that I really enjoyed to do.
So even making our work like the crappy tasks of our work,
have one day that you do all the things you hate doing
and go get a latte and do it in a coffee shop
if that's what makes you happy.
Yep.
Just flip it.
We have the power to stay where we are.
We have the power to flip it and just ask,
what if I enjoyed this?
What if I was successful at this?
What if I overcame my fears and my blocks
and I just did it anyway?
Yeah. Amazing things are on the other side. Yeah. And then you do it and you're like, wait a minute, if I did that,
then I can do this. And if I did that, then I can do this. And you just keep borrowing belief
from yourself. And the next thing you know, you're doing it. Yeah. You're awesome, Lindsay.
You guys are awesome. I'm so happy to be here. Yeah. I'm so glad that everybody listening has a chance to
spend an hour with you and just like soak up all your goodness. You make things attainable,
which I so appreciate. You're very welcome. I appreciate it. And I know our listeners will too.
I know that they're going to want to connect with you. So please tell them how they can connect with you. Lindsay chambers.com it's L Y N D S U I.
Thanks mom for being original. And, um, I'm on Instagram at Lindsay's lifestyle.
Yeah, she is fantastic. She also has a 12 week course called beyond the body.
I think for this year, you just launched your last one, but I'm sure there's...
We start tonight. It's so emotional.
I bet.
I love starting a new group. Yep. So that's our last group. I have some other
smaller courses like in the pipeline coming out, which will be really fun.
And I've been doing those monthly workshop, like open... It's free office hours once a month. So
if you get on my email list for that,
that's a wonderful place to be, especially if you just want more of me or free coaching.
I think that I love connection. You know that Amy and I was like, how can I serve my people
who maybe can't afford it or who aren't comfortable investing in themselves or who just need
a little support in the office hours has been the coolest thing I've
done in a long time. And it's really fun. And I think it's nice for people to have that kind of
like feel seen by other women and other women's messes. Absolutely. It was a super powerful thing
to be part of. So I'm so glad that I did that. And thank you so much for being here with our
listeners today and sharing it. So I'm sure they will follow you, And thank you so much for being here with our listeners today and sharing
it. So I'm sure they will follow you, but thank you so much. Thank you.
Thanks so much for tuning in today. If you'd like to continue the conversation about blogging with
us, please find us on Instagram at spark media concepts. You can also sign up for our weekly
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For those of you who are ready for the next step and want to start your own blog,
join the waitlist for the Ultimate Blog Bootcamp.
The link to join the waitlist is also in the show notes.
Go out and make today a great day.