The Unmade Podcast - 10: Honey Prawns

Episode Date: April 16, 2018

Topics include the curative powers of lemonade, deprivation, sausages, song-writing, tattoos, phone books, strange thoughts, plus an idea from a Patron. Honey Prawn T-Shirts at https://unmade.fm/honeyprawns Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM) Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit: https://redd.it/8cp4jz

Three claps from Tim on the count of three. One, two, three. That sounded like four to me. There's only three. There's only three spikes in front of me. I'll check later on. I don't want you tampering with the waveform before I conduct a full investigation. Oh, dear.

I know what people in Australia are like when it comes to tampering with things. Oh, no. That's one for the cricket fans. I don't know if I sound any different today, Tim. I've been a bit sick this week. I might sound a bit nasally. Do I sound different to you? No, no.

You have a lovely deep resonance to your voice. It's an improvement, if anything. Okay. Well, I should be sick more often. It did occur to me that one of my ideas today should be a podcast called Sick Day, where you only ever do interviews with people who are sick. Like, so you have a standing list of people you want to interview and you just tell them, if you're ever sick, that's the day we're going to do a podcast with you.

So you only ever interview sick people. So they sound sick and they're whingy and you just see a different side of them. That's interesting. And they talk about how they feel or that sets the context for them talking about everything else. I think it would be like your generic desert island disc type get to know someone type interview. Yeah. Just in the context of they're sick today. That's always the gimmick and always the starting point.

Yeah, that's not a bad idea. Would you listen to that? We're joined by Jerry Seinfeld today who's got terrible cold. It would be interesting hearing them talk about what they do when they're cold. You know, people have comfort rhythms that they go to. Like I always have this soup when I'm cold and I always watch this movie when I'm feeling sick and, you know, those sorts of things. So you could explore that stuff.

What is your sick routine, Tim? I don't think it's, it really is just you keep, you kind of sleep as much as you can and then you sit on the couch and and watch yeah i think generally probably watch something that's a guaranteed enjoyment so you go back to something rather than watch a new film i don't think you're in the mood for a new film well i'm assuming you're going to be watching some 90s tv show well it'll obviously have tom hanks in it because he's the ultimate comfort in uh times of peril he's medicine in human form he is he is he's human medicine it's just so comforting what do you eat and drink like like chicken soup and my nan used to always give me like lemonade like sprite type lemonade she

actually got me woody's woodruff south australian lemonade, but even you probably don't know what that is. I have heard of Woody's, yeah. Woody's, still the best lemonade made. Okay. I don't know why. There's something about lemonade. Like my dad used to give me lemonade as well. Why lemonade when you're sick?

It seems like a when you're well, fun, happy drink. I think because it's clear. It's got sugar in it, which is good for you when you're sick. I don't know. I'm just making stuff up. You are. Well, you always have lemon when you're sick. Consult your doctor. Yeah, exactly. These two guys on a podcast said that I should drink lemonade. I'm shunning all conventional medicine in favor of Woody's South Australian lemonade, because Brady told me. That's right. Those two alternate medicine guys on the podcast drink more lemonade. It's a bit like the Middle Ages where no matter what you had,

leeches were the answer, and nowadays we know it's lemonade. Leeches are useless. I'm just going to check if they still make Woody's lemonade. This is a local South Australian brand, is that right? I'm not growing up here. I've heard of it, but I'm not. Yeah, Woodruff, a brand of soft drinks in South Australia, often shortened to Woody's.

Best known and most popular flavour is lemonade, advertised for many years with the slogan and jingle, still the best lemonade made. Woody's still the best lemonade made. Generations of South Australian mothers gave their sick children boiled Woodruff's lemonade under medical advice is that what it says then it says citation needed but yeah that's enough for me even wikipedia says it's medicine but did they say boiled or warmed

they did say boiled well as in boiled and then cooled again? Or boiled as in here's some hot lemonade? Still bubbling with heat, yeah. Scalding their throat. It distracts you from your cold when your throat's being peeled off by red hot lemonade. Oh, man. There you go. Started with a joke. I thought it was just my nan.

Turns out it's a South Australian thing. Like so many things I talk about in life that I think are like true. And then I later find out on the internet that, oh, that's a South Australian thing Like so many things I talk about in life That I think are like true And then I later find out on the internet That oh that's a South Australian thing So you thought it was just your nan Who was delusional with her medical advice But it turns out it's an entire state No I remember

I do remember being given lemonade I could never work it out at the time But maybe it's to disguise you getting an aspirin You know how they put the aspirin in the water? And so that's all physis. They're like, here's a lemonade. Good point. Good point.

I assumed like your dad was just giving it to you and saying, apparently all the people in South Australia are doing this and they all seem healthy to me. I'll tell you, Dad, you did used to make up a potion for me when I was sick. It was grounded in I think in a little bit more rationality in the sense that it was basically a hot lemon. Like it was hot water and then it was lemon and then honey. And it is basically just to make you super warm. He put a bit of grog in it as well, very tiny little amount, but I found that pretty exciting.

You know, hot water with lemon and honey is like the international thing you give people when they're sick. Like that's like everyone in the world does that. I do know that. But my, I got it from my father. Like, yeah, I know that. But my dad invented it. Let me just emphasize how hot my father made it. I don't think you're appreciating exactly how hot this thing was.

And I had to glug it all down in one go. And it's sort of like, now you're going to sweat for a few days and then you'll be okay. But looking back, I probably would have just sweat for a few days and been okay anyway. You thought he was a miracle worker though. I'm giving you this and in three or four days you might get better. You might start feeling better.

That's right. And if you do, it's because of me. That's right. Yeah. So I just used to sweat and be under a doona and think, I'm sweating it out. That's good. That's good stuff. All the badness is coming out. I'll be okay. All that hard work and all you needed was a glass of Woody's. I know. I know. We could have bought it off the shelf. Yeah. And yeah, that was about it. And if you were really dying, you got to see a doctor. How obviously is my sick day a good idea?

Imagine talking to every single guest about their, you know, magic potions their parents used. Although everyone would probably just say hot water and lemon or Woody's. That's right, yeah. Yeah, it's basically the same thing. Well, if it works, it works. Why would you do something else? That's what I have to ask.

This episode of Sick Day has once again been brought to you by Woodruff's Lemonade, still the best lemonade made. That's what I have to ask. This episode of Sick Day has once again been brought to you by Woodruff's Lemonade. Still the best lemonade made. That's right. Oh, I so hope I can find that jingle. Woody's still the best lemonade made. Still the best. Woody's. Woody's. Oh, wow. Woody's. Still the best lemonade made. My comfort food is what I call a toasty toasty. So it's basically a toasted cheese sandwich,

but they're made in this, you know, the machine that you push together. Yeah. And it's not the grill. It's not like a flat grill. It's one with that cross in it. So it makes it, it's a token effort to try and cut it into diagonal pieces. Yeah. I've got one. I used mine yesterday. I love those things oh there's more than one i thought it was just

i've got the second one i've got it's i've got its twin we sold ours at a garage sale and i thought i thought well there it goes let's see i'm glad someone else had the same idea that's great no i bought yours at the garage sale. Oh, right. Yeah, it's like we call it a toasty toasty maker. But, yeah, like, you know, just having a cheese sandwich, that's pretty comfort. I like that when you're feeling sick.

How many more things that everyone in the world has are you going to think you're the only person that has? Well, I also sometimes take a painkiller. It's something I like to call a painkiller. Painkiller. It's something my dad came up with. It comes in a little box. Anyway.

There you go. Should we do our proper show? Well, yeah. What have you got? Well, I don't know. I'm wondering if I should claim that sick day one as one now, but was that just us chatting? No, I think that was sort of that's introductory throat clearing, that is. Oh, okay. I didn't bring my critical lens to it.

Okay. Well, that's as good as it gets for me, but you want me to go first? Yeah, go ahead. I'm going to go with an idea which has fallen out of my head, so I'm just prolonging this introduction while I try to remember what it is. It was, oh yes, I remember what it is. It was, oh, yes, I know what it is. It is called Deprivation. And I think maybe this should be a monthly podcast and each month you agree on something that you're going to deprive yourselves of,

go without it for a month and then talk about it the next time, about how you did. And these could be things like you could deprive yourself of the internet or your phone or meat. You could be vegetarian for a month or not shower for a month or have limited sleep for a month or not be allowed to use your car, not watch TV, go without electricity, not consume any news, not read. So that's the idea, depriving yourselves of something for a month and then discussing it at the end. Maybe you could keep a log during it, like an audio diary, or you could just do it and then discuss it at the end of the month

and talk about how you found it, how hard, how easy. So this is one person or a couple of people or a different person each month? In my head, it would be the same people. Like if it was, say, you and I, just the two people, the two hosts, and then you reflect on your month at the end of the month. So this is like Lent. Are you familiar with Lent? Yes, I am familiar with Lent. This is like the sky. Do you know what the sky is? Well, some people may not be familiar with Lent. It's a religious thing.

Of course. Yeah. I was being flippant. I did go to Catholic schools for some of my childhood. Well, there you go. Yeah. Yeah. So for those that don't know, this is the period leading up to Easter. And in the Catholic tradition, it's common to give something up for Lent, to go without, to fast from it, to recognise for a period of self-examination and all that kind of stuff. It's really interesting though, and I was reading about this just the other day, is the Protestant churches, so not Catholic churches, sometimes engage in it as well, like this special period of giving something up. And it could be food or it could be meat or it could be something, like you said, like not showering, but bathing instead or something

like that. Yeah. I mean, lots of non-religious people use Lent as an excuse to give something up as well, kind of like New Year's resolutions. A lot of people will just say, I'm doing something for Lent just for health reasons. It's interesting though that for the Protestant churches, particularly there's a guy called Zwingli who was in Switzerland in the Reformation period, so 500 years ago. And he demanded that, he said Lent was not biblical, it's not in the Bible and we shouldn't do it like the Catholics. And so he famously ate a sausage and this was like quite controversial for him to have eaten a sausage on Lent. And this sort of was a big part of what shaped Europe, the fact that people decide to eat sausages and actually take things up on Lent in defiance. And so there's this sort of Protestant tradition, non-Catholic tradition of not observing Lent, in fact, relishing in things during Lent to talk about the freedom we have as Christians rather than, you know,

the self-denial that's supposed to be part of it. But that's a whole other podcast. In fact, they refer to Lent as a sausage fest. Yeah, that's right. So that was actually my idea, sausage fest, but we'll get to that. I'll tell you what, I'm a lot more on board with sausage fest than I am with Lent, but anyway. So deprivation. Yeah. Okay. So there's a good conversation to be had in all that, isn't there? I mean, you could give up alcohol for a month. I've got a friend that does that.

It's doing that at the moment and is thinking through what that means. I don't drink alcohol for a month all the time though. So I'd find that one quite easy. But isn't the point that you give up something that demands something of you or that you feel has perhaps been disproportionately. Let's be clear here that the idea of this is not to like have some kind of lent like religious sacrifice. It's to like, it's just to like make an interesting podcast. So. No, no, I get that.

Yeah. But it's not going to be interesting unless the person is denying themselves something. Exactly. Like if they go. Oh, exactly. Yeah. I could give up tomatoes for a month, but I've given up tomatoes for my unless the person is denying themselves something. Exactly. Oh, exactly, yeah. I could give up tomatoes for a month, but I've given up tomatoes for my whole life, so that doesn't mean anything.

I hate tomatoes. So, Brady, how was your month without tomatoes? It was awesome. Just like the rest of my life. So that's where the other podcast would be better, where you have to take something up that you ordinarily wouldn't. It's the sausage fest one, where it's like you're having a tomato fest this month. It's tomato fest. Maybe you're right. Yeah, that's like kind of try something new month, isn't it's the sausage fest one where it's like you're having a tomato fest this month it's tomato fest maybe you're right yeah that's like kind of try something new month isn't

it but i don't know i mean obviously deprivation what's something you couldn't deprive yourself of what's something that if i said all right tim you and i are going to do a podcast for the next month you can't have x what was something you would say no i cannot do that no that's tough i would find it difficult not to eat meat for a month. Although I guess lots of people do it all the time and I guess I could do it, but I think I'd really miss it. I went without coffee for a month for Lent once, but I had tea, so you're still getting a bit of caffeine, but I found that tough. How did that affect you?

It's a little bit physically because you get more caffeine from the coffee. So you're sort of for a few days really craving caffeine, except you're still getting it from a cup of tea, but it's not as strong and not as satisfying. Were you drinking like 19 cups of tea then? No, you sort of end up, you know, balancing out a little bit, but I did have more tea. You really miss it.

And then you stop thinking about it after a while. Like a month is a good amount of time to form a habit or to unform, deconstruct a habit. Didn't you think at the end of that month, I've done it, I should go without coffee altogether? No, no, because I love coffee. All right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was really looking forward to it when I got it back.

And there's coffee all around you, of course, as well. Like, you know, there's cafes everywhere and the smell of coffee is awesome. So it is, it's more self-control, but it's physical. It feels like it's an internal struggle for the first few days, and then it becomes like an external struggle because it's just a sort of a temptation. But meat would be difficult because you're sort of just eating veggies all the time, and meat is a big part of my diet, I guess. I'm not sure what else. What about your phone? Yeah, that would be tough. And I i've read stats around that that people feel

like if they if they don't see or feel their phone in their hand for over an hour or for longer than i mean it's you know what i mean like people feel physical distress signs and what about social media so you can still have your phone to check your emails and make calls and texts but no social media no facebook. We've talked about this before. I reckon that's one of those things that you think it would be okay and then after a while you'd be like, well, hang on a second, I need to – I wonder about that. And it would take a little while to get past it.

But every now and then I get sick of it. But you've got to have – it depends what it is because I could give up Facebook pretty easily, but then you've got Twitter. And so you sort of feel that sense of connection and what's going on and immediate news. What about giving up the internet altogether? I mean, I'd have to come up with some kind of solution. Work would be a problem for me because I need the internet for work. If I could come up with a solution around that, yeah, that'd be, I mean, that would be super hard. It would be. I think everyone would find that really hard, not going online for a month, which is so funny when you think 20 years ago,

actually going online was a relatively rare event. And just beyond that, 25 years ago, we didn't do it at all. What else would be tough for you? I think internet and connectivity. Meat would be hard, although the other half of my household is vegetarian. So I could probably slip into that pretty simply. Does that mean that nice vegetarian food is being prepared regularly in your home? mean that nice vegetarian food is being prepared regularly in your home so yeah not going without like yeah sugary stuff like nice sweet stuff i came off sugar a little while ago and that was hard for a few days like i started consciously not having obviously sugary things ice cream and those sorts of things of course there's sugar hidden in everything so i'm probably still getting

it but that was i was conscious of that for a days. Do you think it would be a good podcast? I mean, given the usual caveats that you've got good hosts and it's well executed, I think it would be quite compelling hearing someone talk or two people talk about their experience of going without something for a month in depth. I think it would be a good listen. I think so too, particularly if they kept notes all the way through and saying on day four, this happened and really explained what they were thinking about. Because when you start craving something, you go to crazy lengths to do it.

You know what I mean? You sometimes can think about it for a long time. If you really need a coffee, it's really hard. This morning I was in a situation where I missed out on a coffee and I'm like, oh, goodness gracious. And I started to think, I don't think I can do anything else until I get a cup of coffee. Yeah. And it's such an irrational thought. Like, of course you can do, you're a grown adult. You can just calmly sit here and wait.

But I was like, no, I have to go off and find a coffee. I think you're right about notes. But even more so, I think, as I said earlier, perhaps like an an audio diary things that are recorded contemporaneously like in our previous episode with the stuff i did in antarctica hearing someone talk about something as they're doing it has a certain a certain quality to it that i think adds value so i think you'd want to be making record little audio diaries also particularly if they really got into it and they were being totally honest and it was something reasonably trivial because yeah yeah you know like some people you know it's just chocolate they've got to have chocolate every and if they

just to hear them talking honestly yeah i just buried a stash in the backyard and stuff like that yeah yeah yeah i was interviewing this person at work and i was looking at them and all i could imagine was a big block of chocolate and I couldn't listen to a word they were saying. You know what I mean? I just started nibbling their ear. That's right. Looked at their briefcase. Hey, that looks like chocolate. What's in the briefcase? Have you got chocolate in that briefcase? Open the briefcase now. I used to smoke and giving up smoking is very much like that. That's really tough. Really? And I did it a couple of times.

I mean, everyone knows this, that it's the toughest one. I remember Ozzy Osbourne saying in one of those episodes of his show, you know, that he'd done all the drugs in the world. You know, he'd done hard drugs. And he says, but it's the smokes. It's the smokes that were the toughest to give up. It's like, wow, that's a pretty full-on thing to say. But there's also all these habits associated with it,

like going outside and just getting some fresh air coming in. Yeah, it's like it becomes a little ritual, does it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's all the things you're doing without things that are part of your everyday life. Trust me, Tim, when you found it hard to give up smoking, I don't think it was the going out for fresh air that was really, really drawing you back to them. That's what I miss about was the going out for fresh air that was really really drawing

you back to them that's what i miss about smoking i miss the fresh air i could do without the nicotine and all that sort of stuff it's just the going outside and smelling the roses i miss i just i can't do that now i just that's impossible i miss it god i miss. I'd give anything to be a smoker again just so I could go out there and get that beautiful fresh air into my lungs. Get that fresh air. That's right. You just miss looking cool like James Dean. Yeah, yeah.

But then thankfully I still look cool and so that's some consolation. You are lucky. If you had to give up looking cool for a month, that would be really difficult for you I imagine. I don't know how I'd do it. I think you're doing well today. If you had to give up looking cool for a month, that would be really difficult for you, I imagine. I don't know how I'd do it. I think you're doing well today. All right.

The fact that we're talking about it and we're really enjoying talking about it, even though we don't have one particular one in focus, is a good sign. And obviously it's a pretty common TV format to get people to give things up and send you know, send them to some place without electricity for a month. TV loves this format, but having it as a regular giving something up each month repeating cycle, I think could be a fun podcast. Anyway, there's my idea. Tim, let's hear yours. Well, mine is, it's not unrelated in a way. It's not Sausage Fest, is it? It's called Sausage Fest. What it? It's called Sausage Fest.

What it is, back in the Middle Ages. Great, we get to hear that story again, don't we? That's right. That's a good podcast. This is a podcast idea, and you actually can help me. It's not totally formed, so help me form how this could go. But it's a podcast that's essentially I've always wanted to. So it's where a person kind of comes on and talks a little bit

about the thing they've always wanted to do. I've always wanted to do this. And there are some cliche things that you kind of want to get out the way. I mean, they're big things. They're not small things, you know, things like skydiving or whatnot. But then more interesting things. I've always wanted to do this. And they talk about why they've always wanted to do it. And then they go and do it. And they talk either through the experience and, and then afterwards, whether it feels strange having

done the thing that they have always wanted to do, never thought they'd do, you know, just sort of unpacking as to why that was, why that was so important to them and whether it's actually a good thing to have done it or not. Again, it'll rely on the hosts and the interest and the power of the idea, but I've found it interesting listening to conversation and how often people use the phrase, I've always wanted to. Why this one thing? You'd have to, yeah, you'd have to, because I was sort of just checking through my head what things I would have on that list. And a lot of them are travelling to places. So, you'd have to avoid them always being, I've always wanted to go here or see that. And you'd

have to make sure they were more activity oriented. I think that would make for a better show. Yeah, yeah. I think that's a nice idea. I don't like the name. No. But I think it's probably the best name for a nice idea i don't like the name no but i think it's probably the best name for it's not an easy thing to say to your friends whenever i talk think about a podcast idea i always think i always imagine me telling my friends about it there's this new podcast i'm listening to called and saying this is podcast i listen to called as i've always wanted to and you're like yeah what's what's it called yeah like idea wise i think it's that's pretty solid i think it's pretty good what have you always wanted to do that you haven't done?

I have always wanted to record an album. I play guitar in a very amateur way, but I really enjoy it. And I play, I would pick up my guitar almost every day. I am absolutely captivated by the art of songwriting. So I'm amazed and I love listening to people talk about songwriting and deconstruct songwriting and how to do it. It's just such a mysterious and wonderful thing, what makes a melody beautiful and catchy and how to write a song.

I'd love to write a song. Yeah, yeah. Also, like how many brownie points would it get you with like your wife if you write a song about her as well? Write a love song. That you'd be set for life then. Like any time you did anything wrong, like forgot to take the rubbish out or burn dinner, you just say, remember that song I wrote about you?

Yeah, that's right. That's right. I do remember talking to one couple where he was a musician and they would buy each other gifts for their birthday, but they had this thing where they would make a gift and she would have to go to great lengths to make things, whereas he would just write a song each time. And so it was like, oh, that became, you know, becomes like, oh, well, you just need to write a song that comes easy for you.

Whereas I have to actually, you know, get out the glue and the craft or, you know, knit something or, you know, whatever. Yeah. I think every woman in the world wants to be married to John Legend because he wrote all of me about his wife. Like, I think every woman looks at her husband now and says, why didn't you write all of me about me? Why don't you love't you write all of me about me? Why don't you love me enough to write a song about me?

I'm trying. I don't know music. Well, see, there's another idea. You've got to write a song. Hang on. This may not be as good an idea as I thought 10 seconds ago. A podcast where people come on and write songs, or at least they're with someone who helps them write a song.

Or you've got to come up with a song in the episode or something like that. But that would be a very tedious hour with a minorly interesting last five minutes. Which is not a great recipe for a good podcast. But I don't know know there's something around that people go there are podcasts about songwriting itself anyway what's your hey i think you're getting a bit lost here man let's get back going back to my original idea so what i've always wanted to do i'd love to write an album i'd love to record an album uh just once yeah i'd love to do it well as someone who has released a vinyl album do you want to ask me anything about like advice or about the experience or

anything? Well, what was it like at the Grammys? Did you go to Beyonce's after party? You should just do it, man. Just book some studio time. Well,

that's all. That's just like jam. Just turn up. All right, here we go. This is costing 800 bucks an hour. All right, let's write some songs. Let's write some songs. There we go. This is costing $800 an hour. All right, let's write some songs.

Let's write some songs. There we go. A, D, G. Maybe you need the pressure of the paid studio time to catalyze your creative process. You need that $800 an hour. If you put me in a studio in those conditions, it's amazing how many songs I'd write really quickly. Wow, this is a double album. Apparently that's what happened with Sgt. Pepper's. They had nothing written, but the studio time was so expensive, they just went, we've got to pull it out here, guys.

Come on, let's do something. All right, get those four grand pianos in here, one note each. So I've always wanted to. Now, there's a whole bunch of things, because I think there's people who I've always wanted to do a stand-up comedy gig. You're right. A lot of them may be attached.

I've always wanted to go to, but you could ban travel. One of the things I like about this idea, Tim, is that most of the things I imagine people doing, like bungee jumping or racing around a Formula One racetrack in a sports car or writing a song and things like that all in themselves would also make for good audio like a nice five ten minute finale where you can hear the thing being done so oh yeah i think that also is quite nice that in most cases i feel like we'd probably be able to record a good chunk of the actual thing being done when it finally happens yeah listening to them scream all the way down from the plane you haven't't skydived, have you? No, no. Would you?

I don't know. Once upon a time, I would have said, yes, definitely. But I'm not sure anymore. It's pretty terrifying, what it looks. Have you done it? I haven't, no. I've been scheduled to do it, and it was cancelled at the last minute. I was going to skydive out of a helicopter for a work thing.

Oh, wow. It got cancelled, and I wasn't really sad. I don't imagine helicopters go up anywhere near as high as planes. How is that going to work? They go up high enough. It was going to be with some military people from a special military helicopter. It was going to be over the racetrack in Adelaide when the race was on, part of all that.

But anyway, I don't know if I'd do it now. I probably would for work purposes, for making films and stuff. But I wouldn't do it just for the pleasure. No, no, I'm not drawn to it anymore. What about a bungee jump? Have you bungee jumped? No, I think I would be less likely to bungee jump than skydive. I feel like you get, it's more terrifying to me.

I think it's more dangerous. And also, I feel like you get less reward for it. It's just a pretty short, terrifying thing. Whereas the skydive, you get, there's more of a process to it that I would enjoy and there'd be nice views. And I think once the parachute opened and you were like drifting down to earth, that would also be a really pleasant time. Bungee jumping has no pleasant time.

It's just sheer terror doing something uncomfortable. And then it's like, okay, I survived it. I can now go for food. For food. So, the food is the reward. Have you always wanted to have food after bungee jumping? Is that your thing? Post bungee food.

I want a sausage. That's a sausage fest. I guess another one that a lot of people want to do that they finally do is getting a tattoo. Oh, yeah. And do you have a tattoo i i do not have a tattoo at the moment but i'm uh you know never never say never if you ever got a tattoo what would you get unmade podcast logo definitely across my forehead it would just say unmade podcast forever it will never end and like that will be the last episode we ever do

you're the least tattoo person i think i know like i don't i'm not sure it'd suit you unless it was very something very quirky i imagine you'd have something science related or something like that you don't want something that dates like you don't want you you don't want like the beta video symbol or like the mini disc symbol or something like that that you think so you get something like e equals mc squared and then it would be disproven a week later and you'd be like e equals mc. Hang on. I'm not opposed to getting a tattoo. I don't have a tattoo, but I have never thought about something.

I don't like the idea of getting a cliché tattoo. And what I mean by that, no disrespect to people who collect tattoos, but a typical tattoo, like an oriental symbol or a, I don't know, some sort of symbol that looks like it's made for a tattoo, something that you'd expect to find on a Red Hot Chili Pepper member. If I was going to get an oriental symbol, I would get the name of the August Moon Chinese shop on Diagonal Road, just down in England, Elvare. They do the best honey prawns.

I would just get the Chinese symbol for honey prawns. Oh, that's great, that Chinese symbol on your shoulder, Brady. What does it mean? Honey prawns. Oh, that's great, that Chinese symbol on your shoulder, Brady. What does it mean? Honey prawns. You say not to get something that will date.

I loved those when I was a teenager. I still love them now. And the August moon's still open down there at Diagonal Road. It's the first place I go when I go back to Adelaide. I don't know it. Is it on Brighton Road? Diagonal Road. Diagonal Road, okay.

Just at the start of Diagonal Road. Okay. I don't know this episode of unmade podcast is brought to you by the august moon chinese store down to the start of diagonal road go and check it out which end of diagonal road like the glenelg end or the glenelg end there's that little knot of shops it used to be a bilo but now it's some other supermarket and there's like a stationary shop and when i was I was young and my dream job when I grew up was to work in a stationary shop, I dreamed of working in that stationary shop in that little shopping area. Because you could have stationary around you all day and then go and have honey prawns

every day for lunch. Living the dream. Somewhere, someone is rewriting their I've always wanted to and it's now I've always wanted to go try those honey prawns in Adelaide that Brady recommended. That Brady has tattooed on his shoulder. If you tattooed, if you loved it so much to tattoo it, people would fly. You would have people fly to Adelaide for it.

You can't tell me it wouldn't be a great talking point telling people that you have the Chinese words for honey prawns tattooed on your shoulder. Because it looks so exotic and they think, oh, well, that obviously means, you know, live forever or some sort of inspirational statement. No, no. It says, number four, honey prawns. You could just walk into the shop and they say, what would you like? And you just drop your shoulder and pull down your T-shirt and they'd be like, okay. Fair enough.

We've got another honey prawns here. There's some guy sitting reading a TV week magazine with honey prawns tattooed on his shoulder as well. That's right, that's right. This episode's been brought to you by our honey prawns T-shirt. You are sure to turn heads and get tummies rumbling in this eye-catching garment from our Teespring Summer Collection. If you'd like to see more, go to unmade.fm slash honey prawns, all one word, or you can click on the link in our show notes.

Seriously, we've made a Honey Prawns t-shirt. It's a different way to support the podcast and well, I think it looks pretty cool. This idea is called phone book and there's a few ways it could go, but at its basic level, the idea of this is you phone everybody in a given phone book, like the white pages or the yellow pages, could be like the Adelaide white pages. You phone everyone, tell them you're making a podcast and do they want to chat to you,

and those that result in interesting chats you record. So it's a bit like a Vox Pop where you go out into the streets just seeing who will talk to you and what their story is, except this one is you're phoning people in the phone book and you're methodically just ticking your way off through the book. And you're starting, what, at the beginning or just randomly? I've thought about this. I think it would be funniest to do it from the beginning.

So you're just talking to lots of people starting with A to begin with. But maybe for variety's sake you'd jump around. I also thought it would be quite fun to put a twist on it. Instead of using the white pages, to use the yellow pages. Because I think calling businesses would almost be more fun. Oh, yeah. When you call people at home, they feel quite intruded upon and they're less likely to speak to you

and you're also less likely to have interesting things to say. But if you just start phoning businesses like, you know, Bill's Plumbing Supplies and you say, Hey, it's Brady from the Unmade Podcast. interesting things to say but if you just start phoning businesses like you know bill's plumbing supplies and you say hey it's brady from the handmade podcast can i talk you know a they might be more likely to talk to you because they want to promote their business but also then you've instantly got things to talk about that doesn't put them on the defensive because you're not intruding on their life so you'd say so bill tell me what's the what's your best selling piece of equipment oh it's definitely a toilet s ben 3000 why is that tell me about, what's your best-selling piece of equipment? Oh, it's definitely Toilet S-BEN 3000.

Why is that? Tell me about it. What's the most interesting thing you've ever seen on a job? What's the most disgusting thing you've seen while you've been out doing plumbing? Like, you'd have, like, you'd instantly have, like, neutral ground as a talking point that they'd be quite comfortable talking about. So, I think maybe go through a Yellow Pages, like, pick the Adelaide Yellow Pages and just, like, ring people at random and talk to them about their business. That's a pretty good idea. You would get a lot of receptionists. So, A, they'd be interesting people to talk to, but you kind of want to get past them on some occasions as well to the people who know about it. Yeah, the receptionist

would answer you and say, oh, hi. They'd say, hello, you know, crazy Dave's pet and porium. You say, yeah, it's crazy Dave there, please. I want to speak to him about pets. Yeah, it's good. It's good you know i want to speak to him about pets yeah it's good it's good are you going to be up front with them straight away this is a podcast yeah i want to have a conversation you're not going to try and trick them yeah hey it's brady from phonebook i ring up different people in the yellow pages and ask them about what's going on you got five minutes to have a chat you'd get i reckon i reckon in the white pages you'd have a one in 40 success rate. I reckon in the yellow pages you'd probably have one in seven success rate.

Do people have, so the white pages, is this a universal concept, this idea? Obviously people have phone books and they get what we're talking about. Do people still have home phones? Well, most businesses have phones. No, no, I know the businesses do it's just something that struck me that's true actually i haven't looked i haven't looked in a white pages phone book for residential phone numbers for so long i don't know what what's in them anymore are they still are they still made are they super thin now people obviously don't put their mobiles out

there seems kind of cool and quaint though to call. You'd probably end up speaking to a lot of old people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you, this is another anecdote about my dad. So do you remember when you used to call up my house on our home phone and because my dad was older, he didn't know famous people's names. And so you would pretend to be a famous person asking for me. That's right. So, Dad, we're sitting at the dinner table one night and the phone rings and Dad, you know, leans over and picks up the phone and, hello, you know, and then goes, oh, yeah, I'll just get him. And then he looks at me, hands me the phone and goes,

it's Robert De Niro for you. I forgot I used to do that. I have no idea. He's just totally getting on with his dinner. I'm just losing it. I still see him now. It's Robert De Niro. They were more amenable to pranks, that's for sure,

like Bart Simpson's pranks. But doing it on a mobile is a bit harder, isn't it? Anyway, the idea itself. Yeah, yeah. So talking about businesses and asking people, it'd be interesting because there's a whole range of quirky small businesses as well. So the big business is probably going to give you the run around

or not engage perhaps. Oh, yeah. You're not going to ring McDonald's head office and get someone who's going to be helpful. Yeah, you want the niche businesses. Yeah. Barry at stacks of slacks. Yeah, that's right.

Oh, you could phone the sofa shop. Of course. Oh, that would be first on the list, surely. They say don't you do a thing until you've seen the sofa shop. Yeah, that's right. Don't call another shop until you've called the sofa shop. Don't you do a thing until you see the sofa shop. G'day, it's Brady here again.

Look, mate, it was funny the first time the second time i was just i just wanted i was just going to go and visit my auntie but i didn't want to do a thing until i'd seen the sofa shop don't you do a thing until you see the sofa shop i've explained this week after week after week it's just a saying. You don't have to ask our permission every time you want to go to the toilet. Oh, that's cold. It just relentlessly cold. Sorry, I'm just about to do something.

I just go shopping. So shall we have a final idea from you? Are you willing to tell me your final idea, having not seen the sofa shop yet? Yeah. I feel like I want to pause at this point and phone them up. Look, I've got a couple. I've got a whole list of ideas here, and I'm flicking between a couple. Do you want me to name two, and you choose which one you want me to talk about?

I'll figure out what they are from the name, won't I? Yeah, well, I won't do the other one. Well, you should save the other one. No. Come on, courage of your convictions here. But the other one's not very good. Well, I think we've made the decision then, haven't we? I think we have.

Oh, look, there are a few ideas here, but look, there is a, do you ever think about, right? So sorry, it's another badly named long question, but title, but do you ever think about, and again, this is similar to my other idea. It's this, it's listening to people talking and hearing them at a particularly interesting juncture of the conversation, like when things, oh, now we're really talking, the part that starts that interesting part of the conversation is someone saying, do you ever think about, and then talking about the thing they ever think about. So it got me thinking about what do people, what do they daydream about? Like what do they think about and wonder and amazed when they're just not thinking

about anything else? Generally, I think, talking to a couple of people about this, they wonder about something and how amazing it is. I'll give you an example of this. One person told me today, they think about trees and they look at the trees and they wonder, I can't believe they're all growing all the time. We're not thinking about them, but the trees and they wonder, I can't believe they're all growing all the time. Like we're not thinking about them, but the trees and everything that's alive is growing all the time and advancing and growing. Now, it sounds silly, but this is the thing the person daydreams about when they're not thinking about anything else. So there's some kind of idea, I think, in there that could be interesting about do you ever think about and the thing that we daydream and think about when we're not thinking about anything like yeah i like it like kind of questions that you would never normally talk about like are birds happier when they're flying or when they're sitting in a branch like which brings them more happiness or yeah to fish dream

i mean i could just answer those now for you. Sitting and no. I would have thought flying might be a happier, they might be happier when they're flying. Or is flying like exertion for them? Like, is it like going for a jog and they're like, oh God, like you get lazy birds that don't want to fly. Or is flying easy for birds?

Is flying for a bird like going for a walk or going for a run? Is it hard work or is it – surely the novelty must have worn off by now. Oh, my God, I'm flying again. I don't think it – if I could fly, I don't think the novelty would ever wear off, but I think it probably has for birds. Then why wouldn't it wear off for you well i think well well perhaps it would i reckon it would after about 10 minutes your wife would be like can you can you fly down to the shop and get some milk tim oh you want me to fly again yeah flying oh it's become can i walk i really imagine if you became the first human who could fly right, which obviously would be cool.

Yeah. But the only way you could do it would be really flapping your arms really furiously. So you look really stupid. That'd be like introducing Tim, the man who could fly. And then you like come in like flapping your arms like an idiot. So I would finally have to choose between looking cool and flying. I still refuse to fly because I'd rather look cool. I don't want to look like I'm trying too hard.

Yeah, that's right. Well, yeah, yeah, so that's right. So you talk about that kind of stuff. That's sounding pretty highbrow. These are the big questions. Would you be willing to fly if it meant you had to flap your arms a lot? I'll tell you what it is for me, or when I was young at least anyway. I used to be astonished by the fact that even people I don't know,

like famous people, were doing something right now. Like I used to think, oh, wow, like, you know, David Hasselhoff on Knight Rider. Right now he's doing a poo. Well, he's doing something right now. That's right. He's like alive. It's like he's in a magical land somewhere on the television or something.

It somehow made me feel closer to them somehow. I don't know. There was something about it. Like Jon Bon Jovi when I was a kid was one of the coolest guys, and Axl Rose. It was like, well, they're doing something like right now. And it somehow felt like, oh, they're not living in a mysterious world. They're living in this world like right now. Of course, most of those people

are on the other side of the world. So they're just asleep whenever I was thinking about that thing. But I remember as a kid, that was a thought that would go around and around in my head, somehow make me feel connected to things or something. I don't know. I often, when I'm driving along like the motorway and there are like hundreds and hundreds of cars around me, often think, isn't it amazing that all these people are doing missions and doing their own thing

and having their own lives, and they don't even know who I am. They don't care about me. They're the centre of their universe and they're thinking about the thing they're doing. And I think I'm the centre of the universe and they think they're the centre of the universe. I guess it's funny that the two centres of the universe are so close together at that point. But I also sometimes think like on a weekday when I go out driving and I'm stuck in a traffic jam, I'm always thinking, who are these people and what are they doing? Shouldn't they like be all working in factories and shops and doing things?

Why are they all out in cars and I'm out in a car? They can't all be making YouTube clips and podcasts and stuff. Shouldn't they be in a factory making my food and in a shop selling my clothes? Shouldn't they all be out doing other things for me? Like the Truman Show, they're all just there for you i have heard a theory that um people often think that the psychologists talk about the fact we essentially live life like we're in our own sitcom and so everyone else is like a b star but we're the main character of our sitcom and people come in for a little while and then

they leave a little while it's our show in fact i think it's in the movie about a boy and in the book too by nick hornby talks about that you know you're the center of your own world and there are sort of co-stars that come and go and guest stars that come and then go but it's all about you and so i so i sent a text to tim and i'm thinking tim must be so happy he's just been waiting for the last two weeks to get called off the bench and i have to answer my text i get to be part of the brady show i gotta call up i gotta call you were just lying dormant until then in stasis yeah we're just sitting around in those sort of director's deck chairs just waiting looks like i'm up br Brady wants to record a podcast.

I've talked about this before, but the one time that I do feel insignificant and I realise that I am just a nobody is when I go to a wedding of someone I don't know. Ah, yeah. So, like, I'm there because I'm there because I'm a friend of a friend or, you know, the husband of someone who knows someone. And everyone there knows everyone. And I know no one.

And everyone there is so happy and making speeches about these people that I don't know and having all these reminiscences and everyone. And I'm like sitting there at the back table on my own, knowing no one, thinking, oh, my goodness, these people have like a whole thing going on here. And I'm like, no one. They don't know who I am. Yeah. They don't care about me

i'm not a good wedding guest obviously no people come up to me and go who are you no one i'm nothing even then you're not listening to the speech you're enjoying that people's wedding you're just thinking about yourself and yeah yeah about how nothing i am it's you about how nothing I am. It's all about how nothing I am. The whole world is just about me and how insignificant I am. What if they suddenly turn? The best man just said, well, that's enough about the bride and groom. Now the father of the bride is going to say a few words about Brady Harrod at the back.

Now it's time for the toast to Brady Harrod. This is a great episode. This is a great episode. I love the wedding episodes. This is one of my favourites. What was your idea again? It was some nonsense. Do you ever think about?

Do you ever think about? Do you ever think about? What's a better name? Have you got a better name for it? It's like, it's got to be like, like pointless questions is kind of where it's coming from, isn't it? Like, it's like really esoteric. That's what I like about it. It's like the questions no one, the question you never wanted answered. What we think about when we're not thinking or something like that.

I think framing it along the thing that you daydream about on your own is wrong. I think each episode should be centred around a question that no one wanted answered. What if you just, it was like hosted by a real wet blanket kind of person. So that someone poses their question. I think you've got too much on your plate already, man. I don't think you can take on another podcast. Thanks, man. I was thinking about someone else.

So shall we end the show with an idea from a patron? Yeah, we do. You've got one lined up there. Yep. So we've got today's patron is I sort of choose these at random and I've chosen an interesting one at random here. This is RJ who is a system administrator from the San Francisco Bay Area, originally from New Jersey.

And he actually points out that he has met me. I came to his rescue in Trafalgar Square when he was on a holiday in London, which is a whole other story. Wow. So I have actually met this person coincidentally via Twitter and a series of coincidences. When you say you came to his rescue, does that mean like I'm picturing you with a husky dog and a rope and survival food? Like was he stuck halfway? I'm liking your picture much more than the reality. So let's stick with that one.

I haven't eaten for days. I'm stuck here on the lion. We'll get you down, young fella. It did involve the lion. He wanted to have his photo taken with the lion and he couldn't get close to it. And I think he was disappointed with his photo. And I said that I'd come and meet him and post some photos with him. Oh, cool. And he says, I lived in Nagoya for a year after college in Japan, which Brady has also visited and told us about the sumo wrestling tournament he watched there.

So this email is getting a bit weird where he's now telling me things I already know about myself. So let's skip to the part where he actually gets an idea for a podcast. He says, I've really enjoyed the fictional podcast Homecoming. Definitely check it out if you haven't. So I'd like to do a mystery type fictional podcast, but with the story out of sequence, maybe backwards like Memento or just snippets of action from different perspectives

like a Tarantino film that all come together in the end. There needs to be more of them and we need Brady and Tim cast as the starring roles, either the mysterious villains, the secret agents who undercover the truth or the outcast investigator that pulls the strings from the shadows like a deep throat character. Wow. I mean, he's dropped in Memento and a Tarantino film, so he's obviously playing to you here, trying to get you excited. Right.

He knows I'm a bit of a film buff. Would you like to be in like a drama type, you know, star in an audio drama? I like the idea of it. I haven't listened to any of them and I've had people really highly recommend some of the ones that have become very popular where everyone's listening. There's one in particular and I've forgotten the name of it. I don't like them. I don't like acted audio, like either on radio or podcasts.

I'm yet to hear one where I have thought this is working for me and I have tried some. I haven't tried this homecoming one, but I think audio acting requires a lot of skill. And some of the people I've heard doing it don't have a lot of skill. Do they have sound effects? Like, do they go all the way or is it just different? I think sometimes, yeah, there'll be like a, you know, knock on the door and, you know, then footsteps and, hey, Jeff. There's something about audio acting that you immediately realise is acting. Yeah, yeah. And I don't know what it is.

I haven't yet to figure it out. I've had people that get totally caught up in it, though. Like, I remember a friend was saying he and his wife were on a journey and they just had to pull over and just stare at the radio, just going, what is going to happen? You know, just totally captivated by what was going on. And even that didn't get me to, I'm a bit like you it sounds, didn't get me to engage in it.

Look, a lot of people like them, including RJ. So I can't see us making one. But if we did, I can't see you playing a villain, Tim. I don't think you could be a villain. What? I don't think you could be a villain. The villains always get the Oscars. I also can't imagine you getting an Oscar if that's any consolation.

What? Yeah, look look i don't know that it's it i would want it to be very very good before i either you know wanted to be part of it or release it you know what i mean like it's all about listen to him yes i'm getting numerous scripts but i'm i would have to be very good before i agree to do it well i guess in some ways it's a compliment to the idea because to make a podcast like this, there's minute by minute humour and it's interesting. You've really got to weave something much more dense and complex if you're going to tell a fictional story,

particularly the kind of one that has sort of complicated plot things going on that he's suggesting. Well, if you're listening and you have an idea and you'd like it discussed here on the Unmade Podcast, why not become one of our Patreon supporters and go to patreon.com slash unmadefm. Absolutely. It's very simple and easy. And can I say, I really appreciate the Patreon support from those that get, if you want to get involved and do that it's a great assistance and motivates us in the show and um is of great benefit so thank you we really appreciate people buying in in that way but we also appreciate everyone else just listening that's why you can't be a villain tim you're too nice i am yeah you need to go i'm going to use that money to build a secret base in a volcano.