The Unmade Podcast - 106: A Dubious Dolphin Story

Episode Date: February 18, 2022

Tim and Brady discuss Antarctica, more stories of maiden flights, favourite beaches, a gold rush town, our first Moon of the Week, horoscopes, and an idea from a Stakeholder. Go to Storyblocks for stock video, pictures and audio at storyblocks.com/unmade - https://www.storyblocks.com/unmade Hover - register your domain now and get 10% off by going to hover.com/unmade - https://www.hover.com/Unmade Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://redd.it/svv2i7 Catch the podcast on YouTube where we often include accompanying videos and pictures - https://youtu.be/SB91f5HJAww USEFUL LINKS Bar in Antarctica - and other pictures from the episode - https://www.unmade.fm/episode-106-pictures Patreon page filled with first flights - https://www.patreon.com/posts/first-plane-62186401 Henley Beach - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henley_Beach,_South_Australia Omeo - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omeo Pictures of Spoon of the Week - https://www.unmade.fm/spoon-of-the-week Bianca - https://bit.ly/3v4GPLB Accompanying moon pictures - https://www.unmade.fm/episode-106-pictures

Tim, straight into parish notices. Oh, yes. Go for it. We had a photo sent in from Bar, who's from Israel, but the picture didn't come from Israel. Bar says, I just got back from Antarctica and I've been listening to Special Antarctica, which was an episode of the Unmade Podcast. Oh, it's a while ago. Yeah.

So, Bar has sent some pictures of himself in Antarctica, holding his phone, showing the Unmade Podcast. Oh, it's a while ago. Yeah. So, Barr has sent some pictures of himself in Antarctica holding his phone, showing the Unmade Podcast playing. That's some impressive... We always love a good photo of someone listening to the podcast. And Antarctica is pretty hard to beat. I reckon that is impressive. Fantastic. Would you listen to our podcast if you went to Antarctica?

I would go back and listen to your Antarctica podcast. Yes. I might be in the... You know, you get in the mood for something. So, on the way there, anticipating I might listen to Antarctica. I would go back and listen to your Antarctica podcast, yes. I might be in the- you know, you get in the mood for something, so on the way there, anticipating I might listen to it. I wouldn't. I would not recommend that. Okay, I won't. When you're having a holiday, you don't want to listen

to someone else's holiday. Like, when I went to Antarctica, I did listen to the audio book of Shackleton's famous adventure in Antarctica, when they got in all the problems he ran into Antarctica, one of the great adventure stories of history. Oh, yes. And that was great to listen to in Antarctica, but I wouldn't want to listen to some other numpty having a holiday

and having a good time. No, but we're Shackleton for him, though. That's it. You see, he wants to hear an inspiring story and about a great hero, and we are his Shackleton. That's what you're saying. He just, it's getting him in the zone. Oh, okay.

Yeah. All right. Fair enough. He wanted to hear one of the great adventure stories of our time, Barr did while he was in Antarctica, and he chose my adventure on a luxurious French cruise liner. Right. I think that's one of the great stories of-

Survival and endurance. Oh, all that French cheese I had to eat. Oh, dear. No, that was challenging for you. Although he's not listened to it on the way there because you can see he's up to minute 49 or so, only just past halfway, and he's already there. So he's obviously waited till he got there, then got into the zone, and then listened to it again.

Or else it's a repeat listen, which is, you know, which is fair enough too. Quite possible. I know some people that go back and listen to our episodes over and over. Although Barr did say he did go to Antarctica by plane landing on King George's Island. He didn't cross the Drake's Passage. So he's not a true adventurer. No.

But that would also explain why he hasn't listened to much of the podcast yet, because he hasn't had time. He only just arrived. Well, that's right, yes. It is the first thing you do, and he's done that. Yeah. And he said, this is interesting, though, because he's both holding a phone, so he hasn't taken the photo with his phone, and he's holding a camera, so he hasn't taken the photo with his phone and he's holding a camera so he hasn't taken the photo with his camera he's obviously got a friend

that's his first thing he's done when he's got to antarctica is hey take a photo of me listening to this podcast about antarctica yeah that's right so he's obviously had to explain the podcast to someone else so this is a not just a great picture because of the context, but it's wonderful to see that kind of podcast evangelism happening as well. Exactly. And I like that you're giving it a whole, like, Poirot-type investigation of the photo and, like, thinking about who was where and what angles. And there's two cameras there.

There must have been another person on the continent at the time. Like piecing it all together. He's not alone. It is hard to take a photo of yourself listening to a podcast with the phone you're using to listen to it. That is a very difficult thing to do. Yes, this is something I've done numerous times. I'm familiar with the problem. Anyway, thank you, Bar, for your Antarctica picture.

We'll put a picture in the show notes. If anyone else out there, if you're listening to the podcast in an interesting place, do take a photo of yourself with your phone. It may require a second person or at least a second phone. We realise that, but we love the pictures. A Sherpa. You might take a Sherpa along to take the photo of you. Is that right? Well, you wouldn't take a Sherpa to Antarctica.

No, I know. But if you were climbing Mount Everest, for instance, or. Whoa, yes, yes, yes. Maybe a penguin took that picture in Antarctica. There's a lot of penguins where that picture was taken. Well, it wasn't one of the penguins in the picture, though, obviously. It would have been another penguin. Another penguin, yeah.

A second penguin on the grassy knoll. penguin. Another penguin, yeah. A second penguin on the grassy knoll. Now, last episode, we had the idea of my first flight talking about people's first go on a plane, and we read a handful of messages from Patreon supporters, because I created a special page on Patreon for people to share their stories. And I've been amazed at the number of stories people wanted to share about their first time on a been amazed at the number of stories people wanted to share about their first time on a plane. And I thought I would just read a few more because they're so good and people went to so much trouble. I'm not reading all of them. Go to the page and have a look if you want, but I thought I'd share a few of the ones that caught my eye.

Jordan said, when I was a kid, around eight, I think, my parents took me to the airport to drop my dad off for a work trip, in quotation marks. I was begging to go with him because I wanted to ride on a plane. When we got to the airport, I found that we weren't dropping dad off and that I was going on the plane too, and we were going to Disney World. No way. Yeah.

Wow. Huge surprise. How could that? Massive reveal. I'm amazed how many people's first trip to Disney World is a surprise to them as well. I love that people do that. Like, it seems to be a real American institution to take your kids to Disney World, but not tell them you're taking them. Yeah, yeah.

You do miss out on the building the anticipation then. But maybe that's the parents going, okay, we don't have to hear about how long till we go to Disney World for six months beforehand. Are we going to Disney World? You had a kind of pained look on your face as you said that, as if this is something you've experienced before. That's right. It's like let's tell them the night before that the greatest thing they could possibly imagine is going to happen to them

and it's going to happen that day, like right then. Yeah, that's cool. I'd love it if the story, like, had gone another way, like Dad had headed off on his business trip, in quotation marks, and then returned from his business trip, but had forgotten to take off his Mickey Mouse ears from being at Disneyland. He just gets home, puts his briefcase down, looks in the mirror and goes, oh, whoops.

I was at a conference in Anaheim, a YouTube conference, and the day before I had free, and I was with Destin, who was on our podcast a couple of episodes ago. So we decided to go to Disneyland for the day, just the two of us. Like, we just hung out at Disneyland and went on all the rides. And there was a moment when we were on one of the rides that he took a selfie of us, like on a roller coaster, and sent it to his kids back in Alabama.

And I did think that was particularly cruel. And the kids are like, what? You haven't taken us to Disneyland yet? Hey, kids, look where I am. It undermines months and months of, you know, dad's working really hard for us. You know, I know he's away, but, you know, he's really doing it all for us. It's like he's down on a roller coaster with Brady. We're in Disneyland.

Oh, dear. Here's Polar. I was five years old flying KLM. The airline is Dutch, much like Tim's father. I was flying from Montreal to Amsterdam. I somehow got completely traumatised by the safety video and have a memory of it showing a plane crash. While safety videos have changed a lot, I highly doubt they were that graphic in 1994. For every flight through the rest of my childhood, I had to close my eyes and block my ears to avoid hearing the safety messages and was terrified of ever flying with KLM again.

Oh, wow. I can't verify that KLM showed an actual plane crash in their safety video. That's just a claim by Polar. And I haven't asked KLM if this is true. But if it is true, that would be amazing. That would be. I would take my safety much more seriously if like right before takeoff, they showed like, you know, the worst, the most deadly ever plane crash involved a KLM plane as well. So,

they've got some stuff to draw upon. Anyway, there we go. Traumatic safety videos. They're not traumatic these days. They're always trying so hard to be jokey. They're a bit ridiculous now. But that's the golden days of aviation when safety videos were proper. Took plane safety seriously. None of these cartoons and cute moments of people not being in a plane when they're doing their safety video. This was like, do your belt up or this will happen. safety video. This was like, do your belt up or this will happen. You think the worst thing that would happen during a plane crash is to look at the safety videos is that you have to put your head between your knees. And if you,

as long as you do that, everything's going to be fine. Everything's fine. They should do it from the point of view, you know, like a point of view footage of just a mountain getting closer and closer and closer. Can you put your head between your knees? Hang on, let me try. Hang on a second. I could, but my belly's in the way. That's not your fault.

I'm not getting on a plane. All right. You just bounced straight off that mountain. Sir, sir, please don't put on your safety vest yet. I haven't. Here's one from Rachel. I was 13 and on a family holiday to Majorca. My dad put on snakes on a plane the night before flying.

This terrified my brother who sat next to me on the flight and nearly broke my hand, squeezing so hard out of fear. The turbulence was terrible, but I was glued to the window and loved it and have loved flying ever since. Oh, dear. What dad shows snakes on a plane to their kids before their first flight? I love it. Maybe it felt so absurd. Have you ever seen snakes on a plane? I've not seen it.

No. It doesn't seem like something you would have seen. No. No, no. It looks like rubbish, but enough was made of its absurdity in previews, for I know what it's generally about. Great title for a film too. It's like the exact opposite

way of titling from you. That's right. Does what it says on the tin. Yeah, no, I know. That's very good. I wonder what he showed them the day he went to the bush then. If he showed snakes on a plane, then maybe he'd show some sort of hijacking film the day before they go. Bush hijackers or something. It's the opposite. Here's one from Janelle.

I was seven years old on a flight from Honolulu to LAX. Our 747 bounced on takeoff. Overhead bins opened and lays fell everywhere, as in the flowers from Honolulu. Several hours later, as we neared LA, they said that we might have burst tyres. So they lowered the landing gear and flew low, it seemed like about three feet, over the tower for a visual inspection. Two tyres near the middle of the plane were burst. So we landed on a far runway. We were supposed to have our heads tucked down And my white knuckle mum definitely did

But I was peeking out the window After all, they'd said we might see sparks So I could see that the runway was lined with police cars, ambulances, fire trucks It was the smoothest landing I think I've ever had And I still love to fly I love that they told everyone to put their heads between their legs for landing but also said there could be sparks on the landing like yeah right that is a traumatic first flight i can't wait till they design planes that can be a

lot more like spaceships you know how the millennium falcon just seems to pull up so easily and land just down yeah they should investigate what sort of engines are used in the Millennium Falcon and see if they can implement them in more commercial flights. Well, you do get vertical landing military jets, like Harrier jump jets and those sort of things that can just land. I know. See, that's so clever. Why isn't that technology being replicated?

I don't know. I think that would be pretty hard to do with a big, heavy commercial airliner, but anyway. You've got no vision. Anyway, I will link to even more first flight stories on our Patreon page. You don't have to be a Patreon supporter to see this page. It's a public page. So go and have a look.

Tim, ideas for a podcast. That's our stock and trade here at the Unmade Podcast. What do you got? Oh, already. Oh, gosh, here we go. All right. Now, what have I got? No. Actually, I was developing an idea, feeling very good about it today,

and then at the last minute I've switched it for another idea just because I feel like talking about this thing. I'm crazy, man, hazy crazy. You can't be tamed. I can't be tamed. No, no, don't try. Don't try and stop me. Don't even try. I won't try. Look, No, no, don't try. Don't try and stop me. Don't even try.

I won't try. Look, this idea is called Our Beach. And it's a podcast that I have been kind of looking for myself without really noticing it over the last couple of days. And it's about people talking about their beach and the memories of their beach and why they love their beach and why it is their beach. Now, we as a family have recently changed our beach, which is a bit like, you know, changing your local go-to shopping supermarket. Or changing your hairdresser, I would liken it to.

Oh, indeed, yes. A very personal connection. And it's not a decision that's done willy-nilly uh we've we've moved partly because of the drive we were at brighton beach for many many years and um that seemed to be the closest i had a lot of memories of brighton beach from years ago and pretty good fish and chips pretty good parking um nice beach no waves but you don't get that in Adelaide. But since we moved to the city, it's been more convenient to go to Henley Beach, which is a bit further up the coast.

That's posher, too. That's for posher people. You reckon Henley Beach is posher? Yeah, because Henley Square is really nice and quite posh. Well, it is nice. Well, and I'll tell you, that's the lovely thing about it. There's actually a nice grassed lawn area. Fish and chips, I think, are even slightly better than they were at the previous beach, which is, I mean, that's worth two votes.

The jetty's in pretty good condition, and it's an older jetty, like a wooden-y sort of one, you know. So it's not like this new concrete one down at Brighton. So it still feels kind of nice under your feet like old, you know, ye olde wood. A jetty is sort of an Australian name for like a pier. Yes, that's right, yes. Heads out into the water about 50 metres or so and, you know, you walk out and then just turn around and walk back.

That's been all they could for really. That's kind of like Adelaide. That's right. It feels like there's something there to do. And then it's like, oh, yeah, no, we just go back now. It's like if you were to go to a modelling show. You know how the models sort of come out on a runway and then they just pointlessly turn around and then come back? It's like that except out into the ocean.

What's the seaweed situation at Henley Beach, though? I seem to recall Henley Beach having more seaweed on the sand than i'm entirely comfortable with because i don't like seaweed no no no i've been that might be further up at grange maybe but i've been very pleased it's been very clear and lovely i'll tell you what takes the cake though the other day this kind of sold us on it because we were there and enjoying our time. And then suddenly there was a dolphin right in close amongst us. Oh, it was so exciting. And then he swam amongst the people a bit and then got out over near the jetty and then-

He got out? What, like up onto the land? Up onto the land, walked down the jetty, turned around, came back, got some fish and chips. Got some fish and chips. It was just wonderful. No, he did one of those sort of you know dolphiny flips not not a you know how they just sort of get up out of the water a little bit and then just sort of like

whole body out of the water completely a lot of yeah a lot of the whole a lot of the body yeah really impressive and then and then shoot it off see after that you're pretty much sold on a place so anyway yeah no that's that's our one so that's our new beach that's our new, that's our one. So that's our new beach. That's our new beach. That's where our memories of beach will be crafted and located from now on. Okay. Well, if you're ever in Adelaide and want to bump into Tim and the family, Henley Beach is the place to be. Just look out for the bronzed Australian hunk of a man. It's like Baywatch.

Baywatch. Baywatch. I'm sort of the David Hasselhoff of Henley Beach, slowly running down. I'm not questioning your honesty here, Tim, because, you know, you are an impeccably honest person. But from my experience, you know how when people catch fish, they always exaggerate how big the fish is. It's like, that's like the cliche, isn't it? The fish was this big, right? I also find people's stories of dolphin encounters, typically the dolphin gets closer and closer

and does more and more amazing things the more the story gets told to a point- to the point where it's, oh, I was striking the dolphin and it was doing somersaults over my head. He was pulling me along. Yeah. I do think dolphin stories get better and better with the telling. He was, you know how they paint a picture at SeaWorld? They put a paintbrush in the dolphin's mouth and he had time to do that. No, look, my wife spotted the dolphin. I'm clearly, I'm blind without mybrush in the dolphin's mouth and he had time to do that no look my wife

spotted the dolphin i'm clearly i'm blind without my glasses in the water so she said oh my goodness it's a dolphin which immediately i thought oh hell is it a shark and i'd turn around and it would it had been in between us and another family um so it had been in as close as us and um i didn't sit but i i i you I didn't see the flip. So he ran around and so forth. I turned back to the shore to my other daughter and said, hey, look at this. And then I heard my wife say, oh, he did a flip.

And then I turned around and then it was concluded and he was going on. How convenient. If there's a liar in the story, well, it's my wife. It's your wife. Oh, my God, it's doing a painting. Tim's there, like, groping around in the blindness, just trying to... Is it really? What? Tim's looking in the other direction.

Oh, wow, I think I can see it. No, Tim, that's a house. That's what my family do. They just are forever pointing out things when I haven't got my glasses on that are amazing that are happening just over my shoulder and I have to turn around. No, the other way. No, the other way.

Our beach. Our beach. I like it. Our beach. Very nice. People own their beach a fair bit, don't they? They tell stories and, yeah. Yeah.

Good idea. I was in the mood for the beach last night. And in the middle of the night, I was just thinking, I was just laying there. I was thinking about the beach for some reason. I got, maybe because I've been watching a, anyway, boring segue that went nowhere. That should have been what we call our podcast,

boring segues that go nowhere. Actually, that's a better idea than the beach. I assumed that was this idea. Very good. If you have a favourite beach or your beach or a beach story you'd like to tell us, tell us. If you make it entertaining enough, I might read it on the podcast. I mean, we let Tim's story on the podcast,

so you see how low the bar is. If my story had been one of the ones that was sent in during the week, would you have selected it to be read out the week following? What? I went to the beach and my wife saw a dolphin. I don't know. I don't know if that would cut it. I don't know. I don't know if that would cut it. I don't know.

I didn't see it. You're leaving out the fish and chip part. The fish and chips were fantastic. I also note you told me very confidently how much of the dolphin's body came out of the water. And then later on you told me you didn't actually see the dolphin do the jump. Well, she described it to me because obviously her and the other daughter talked about the dolphin for the next half an hour and so. That was described to me. This is like someone who's a witness on the stand and halfway through their testimony you realise

they didn't see the crime, they're just like relaying what they'd heard. They just read about it in the paper. I'm going to go looking on social media and under Dolphin Henley Beach and seeing if someone else got a photo of it. This episode has been supported by Storyblocks. Are you not going to do your thing where you go, oh, Storyblocks. Oh, Storyblocks. And you're not going to do your thing where you go, oh, Storyblocks. Oh, Storyblocks.

Oh. I was doing that thing that singers do when they know the audience knows the lyrics. And so they just pause for that moment and everyone says it at home. Okay, right. Everyone joins in, right. Why don't we do that again? You tell me and then I'll just let everyone say it at home. Go to storyblocks.com slash unmade to check out this demand-driven library of entirely royalty-free 4K HD footage, After Effects and Premiere Pro templates, music, images, sound effects, and more.

They offer subscriptions that will fit any budget, including their unlimited all access, which gives you the keys to the kingdom. You can download everything and use it in all your creations all your videos and podcasts i use storyblocks i'm a huge fan it's an essential part of my workflow uh you you should check them out storyblocks.com slash unmade tim tim are you on storyblocks yet looking for dolphin videos no i was on facebook but i'll go to storyblocks now you can't use Facebook pictures royalty free. They have a lot of teeth.

It's like they have baby teeth their whole lives, don't they? Like a row of teeth. They are very toothy dolphins. Oh, yeah. They got some quality here. Lots of great underwater footage here in the Storyblocks library. Some of these are selfies. Dolphins are taking pictures of themselves now.

It's so professional, all this stuff. It's kind of depressing as someone who makes videos. If you were making a video or something and you wanted footage of dolphins, you would be very, very pleased with what you found on Storyblocks. By the way, I also checked Storyblocks earlier for Antarctica footage after the earlier message we had, and they've got incredible footage of Antarctica. It's not just video and images. I've gone to audio.

So there's like cool... Oh, yeah. It's one of the happiest sounds in the world, the dolphin getting excited. Thank you, Storyblocks, for supporting us. Go and check them out, people. No matter what you're looking for, dolphins, Antarctica, anything else, go to storyblocks.com slash unmade.

You will not be disappointed. Thank you, Storyblocks. And now it's time for... Spoon of the Week. Well, Brady, it's a real classic this morning because it's not morning, is it? Let me say it again. Well, it's morning somewhere. But not where I am. And I'm actually saying it.

After faking a dolphin story, I'm in sort of a lying groove at the moment. I'm just making stuff up all over the place. Well, Brady. story i'm in sort of a lying groove at the moment i'm just making stuff up all over the place well well brady so the spoon i've got this week is is a cardinal it's a good one because it fits right into the hein holiday memory sort of end of the collection this this spoon is from omeo now omeo is a small town in country victoria and um it's a very simple small beautiful town and we stayed overnight in omeo on a trip i remember us setting up the tent and spending the night there and um we've no doubt bought a spoon probably on that trip the person is in the um picture is sort of like a sort of i guess you'd call him a prospector or he's panning for gold um and that's because this whole region and parts of victoria is is um sort of gold country um most famously around ballarat and bendigo and those sorts of areas but big gold rush there in the 19th century good spoon very very kind of

childish picture if i may say so not but kind of still kind of sweet this is what i want my souvenir spoons to look like kind of a little bit amateurish from some little hokey town and not not something that's been sent off to be slickly designed by the graphic design team in sydney like where we got ours done so my overriding memory of that night in omeo was it's when there were big fires in the 1980s all around that area right right across the snow country and everywhere massive fires and so we were sort of heading off on holidays aware of that so that night in this caravan park we were staying and camping, there was sort of like a group meeting of the kids in the caravan park. So all the kids got together and some of the older kids were going,

you know, I wouldn't be in a tent tonight, guys, you know, and some of the little ones are going, uh-oh, uh-oh, and then, you know, I wouldn't be going off in this direction. You know, they were sort of acting like adults and mimicking sort of, you know, serious plans and warnings and so forth about the very serious situation. But I just remember being really quite intimidated by this group of this community gathering of kids and going over the imminent disaster.

The rest of the spoon is very plain, very simple, not very ornate. And going over the imminent disaster. The rest of the spoon is very plain, very simple, not very ornate. There's something on the stem that's, you know, flowery and so forth. I've never even heard of this place. I have no idea where it is. Wherefore art thou, Omeo? Omeo. Well, it's around broader Gippsland in the southeast of Victoria. Oh, so not right near Ballarat and Bendigo,

sort of further away from those places. No, no, no, further down. Yeah, yeah. All right. There's a whole bunch of these towns around there. They're lovely little towns all through this area, beautiful country. Yeah.

Excellent. Well, I tell you, the one thing that is more exciting than finding gold is winning an Unmade Podcast prize, including a souvenir spoon, which is going to Patreon supporter, stakeholder Imogen from England. Imogen? Imogen, yeah. Congratulations.

Tim, if you want to dip your pan into the water there, do you want to find who's one of our sofa shop tapes? Pan for gold? Absolutely. Here we go. Do a bit of pan there. Here shop tapes. Pan for gold. Absolutely. Here we go. Here we go. Oh, yep. Hang on.

We found something. I can hear a clink. I can hear a clink. Who is it? Oh, it looks like Evan from Minneapolis is getting the tape. Nice work. Nice. Here we go.

If you can pan out five more names from the little creek there running through Omeo, let's find out who's going to win Unmade Podcast collector cards. Here's five sitting on top right now, Brady. Oh. Beautiful. There we go. Who would have thought? Well, congratulations to Siddharth from Washington,

William B from the UK, Jackie H from London, Simon Mook from New South Wales in Australia, and Rowan P from England. You are going to receive some Unmade Podcast collector cards, the craze that is sweeping across the world as people try to put together their complete set of Unmade Podcast Spoon of the Week cards. Don't forget, folks, as you do this, to continue on with your school

and regular jobs as well. You don't want to let an obsession like this take over every part of your life. Do keep, you know, eating and feeding your plants. Otherwise you'll end up like Brady. And now it is time for our new section. That's right. It's time for... Moon of the Moon.

Tim, hearing you sing that jingle gives me feelings I didn't know I had. Like, your voice. Oh, it's smooth as silk. Well, no one howls at the moon like me, man. People's people. I'm sure all the civilians are weak at the moon like me, man. People's people. I'm sure all the civilians are weak at the knees right now. So the moon I've decided to showcase today as our first moon of the week is one that caught your attention in the last episode. So I thought that would be a good one to start with.

Let me send you a picture of it to start with. Brace yourself, man. This is one spectacular astronomical image. This looks very similar to some of the photos of the spoon that I send you every week. It's just a little smudge. Let me tell you what this moon is. This is a moon called Bianca. Ah, yes.

And I know you liked the fact there was a moon called Bianca, so I've decided to go with that. This is a moon of the planet Uranus, the seventh planet out in the solar system, out beyond Saturn. It's the next one after Saturn. It's still a very big planet, big icy, gassy giant. And among the assortment of little rocky moons orbiting it is one that's quite close, and this is called Bianca. Now, we didn't even know that Bianca existed until 1986. In 1986, the Voyager 2 space probe, which was a space probe that went on this famous journey to most of the planets, one after the other, it went whizzing past Uranus at tremendous speed, and it took thousands of photos over

the space of a few days. And then all the photos were sent back to Earth with Australia Post. Taken down the chemist, processed, picked up later. Yes. So all the people at NASA sorted through these pictures. And a chap named Bradford A. Smith looked at one of the pictures and saw this smudgy image and said, oh, my goodness, it's another moon. Before this, we only knew of five moons at Uranus. Voyager 2 found another 10, including this one.

And it's named Bianca after the Shakespearean character Bianca in Taming of the Shrew. I don't know Taming of the Shrew very well, but I do know 10 Things I Hate About You, the movie. Oh, yes, of course. Which is based on Taming of the Shrew. Yeah. And the younger sister, who is of the sweeter disposition, is called Bianca. That is Bianca, is based on Bianca, and it's called Bianca in the movie.

So, that's how I know a little bit about who Bianca is, if you've seen 10 Things I Hate About You, but you haven't seen Taming of the Shrew. We know very little about Bianca, the moon, other than it's very small. It's only 64 by 46 kilometres, which is very, very small. Yeah. And it's also very, very close. It's sort of grey coloured. It's very cold, minus 210 degrees. So you wouldn't want to, your favourite beach wouldn't be on Bianca.

If you were standing on Bianca, would you see, like, would there be any sunshine? Would you see the sun at all? Yeah. It would be, it wouldn't be particularly light, but it would be a little bit light. It would be, you know, you'd be, you'd be able to see your hand in front of your face, I'm pretty sure. Also, you're very, very close to Uranus. Uranus would look massive because you're only 60,000 kilometres away. And, for example, the moon's nearly 400,000 kilometres away from the Earth. And this is only 60,000 kilometres away from a planet that's much, much bigger.

So, Uranus, I imagine, would be this huge, huge presence in the sky. And how much, and so it's orbiting, obviously. How quickly does it orbit this massive planet? It takes about half a day to orbit around Uranus, which is very quick, and that's because it's so close. So it's moving very, very quickly, very quickly around the planet. But because it's so small, it has very low gravity, very low gravity. And one thing I found interesting is every planet, every moon that's out there has what's

called an escape velocity. That's how fast you have to go to be able to escape the planet. Oh, yeah. You see how fast rockets have to go to get away from Earth, like incredible speeds. Otherwise, the escape velocity of Bianca is about 80 kilometres per hour. So a car, just driving a car would drive you off Bianca because it's so small. We know very little about it, very small little rock,

but I know the name appealed to you and so I thought it would be a nice one to start with. Is this the best picture we have of Bianca? Yes. Yes. Let me show you another one we have. Let me show you another image. have let me show you another image this next picture shows a bit of uranus inner which is super bright because it's flaring out

the picture a little bit of the rings because there are rings around uranus and you can see bianca there as well oh yeah oh that's handy there's a there's the name bianca that would have helped within the identification process. Bianca, our first ever Moon of the Week. There you go. That's a lot of information about Moon of the Week. I think that's a pretty good opening segment to Moon of the Week. Well done. Yeah?

Yes. All right. Check out the pictures, everyone. I mean, you haven't actually been there. Like, I've been to Omeo, you know, so you're only really speculating. This is your dolphin, really, isn't it? It is. It is.

I've seen about as much of that moon as you saw of that dolphin. So, next week, are you going to give us another one, like one of Bianca's friends, or are you going to go to an entirely different planet? Let's just see what happens. Let's just see. Do you have any requests? Well, I would like something from Jupiter, because I thought Jupiter had, was it eight moons or something?

And you told me there's something, some ridiculous, like 48 or something there. Many moons. Okay. I'll give you a Jovian moon next week, next episode. Stay tuned. What does that mean, a Jovian? Jovian moon next episode. Stay tuned. What does that mean, a Jovian? Jovian means a moon of Jupiter.

Oh, right. Gosh, you pull out these terms. Jovian. Don't start me on space. Well, you didn't, but I'm doing it anyway. Yes, this segment was your idea. I do like the idea that some of the younger listeners will go to school. And you know how when you know a little bit of a new fact

and you want to share it with the teacher, one of them may dare to put up their hand in class and confidently pronounce that they know that there is a moon of Uranus called Omeo. And Tim's got a souvenir spoon for all about it. Don't get your Oon of the Weeks mixed up. Oon of the Weeks. Time for a podcast idea from me.

Kind of Spacey related still, but not really. So this idea I'm going to call unmade horoscopes. And the idea of this podcast is to do just weekly horoscopes for people listening, but have them completely made up. Yes. Have them way more specific than normal horoscopes, because I hate how vague horoscopes are. Yes. Because I think even though, let's be honest, horoscopes are a bunch of absolute bollocks. Yes. But it's somehow, somehow hard to resist listening or looking at them if they're in front of you.

You can't help thinking, I'll just quickly check what mine says anyway, even though I know it's all rubbish. So, I like the idea of doing weekly horoscopes for people to listen into. Yes. So. Lots of comedy potential here. I've done a sample. I've done this week's horoscopes, if I may. Oh, yes, please.

So, everyone out there listening, if you know your star sign. What star sign are you? I am Gemini. What are you? I am a Taurus. You're a Taurus. All right. Yes.

Now, please in no way think that Tim and I are advocating astrology in any way. What an absolute... No, we are very, very clearly mocking. Nevertheless, I've got out my charts. I've done a bit of predicting. I've read the runes and all the things and I would like to introduce the first ever Unmade Horoscope.

Starting with Ares the Ram. This is for people born between March 21 and April 19. This week will be full of opportunities but beware of people in your office who wear glasses. They should not be trusted. Oh.

Your lucky number is three. What's wrong with people with glasses? And now, Taurus, this is you, Tim. April 20 to May 20. The movement of Venus means your love life will be very active. It is highly likely you will break up with your partner, but do not fear when Jupiter reaches opposition, you will meet someone way better on Tinder. Do not wear denim this week. By the way, I wrote this not realizing you're a Taurus,

so that wasn't a joke about your love of denim. Gemini, the twins. This is May 21 to June 21. The full moon will combine with a few stray asteroids to bring you incredible fortune in the sphere of car parking. You can expect to find many free and convenient spaces at your local shopping centre so don't commit to a space too early. Avoid strawberry ice cream. Well I like that one except for the ice cream bit. That's very handy. That's the one you want every time. This Sunday's lottery numbers will be 3, 18, 21, 23 and 39

Finally Certainly specific Imagine an astrologer going out on a limb and actually being that specific Oh golly Here's one for the Leos The motion of the Uranian moon Bianca will bring you great fortune and luck. If you're a gambler, bet big on white horses. But don't lend money to anyone from Canada.

And now, all you Virgos. Objects in outer space will have no impact on your life this week. Just go about your business as usual. But avoid words that start with the letter W. Avoid words. Hey, man, I'm just calling it as I see it. Yep, it's all written in the stars. Yep.

Libra. You will meet a man wearing a hat and yellow socks next Tuesday. Do not, under any any circumstances accept his offer of cashew nuts okay here's one for all the scorpios out there next thursday would be a good day to visit kfc a three-piece feed is recommended now would also be a good time to sell your Bitcoin holdings. Sagittarius. After several weeks considering becoming an Unmade Podcast patron, the movement of Halley's Comet means you should finally sign up and contribute perhaps $3 per episode,

capped at no less than three episodes per month. So get on to that, Sagittarius. The movement of Halley's Comet. Does Halley's Comet ever not move? Like, surely it's just moving all the time. No, it's pretty much moving. It moves pretty much most of the time, I think. Capricorn.

The time has come to learn a new skill, perhaps a musical instrument or 3D animation on After Effects. Your lucky number this week is 43. There you go. Aquarius. The moon is in the seventh house And Jupiter aligns with Mars Peace will guide the planets And love will steer the stars

Your lucky number is 7.2 Oh, very specific That was the opening lines of Age of Aquarius Ah, wrong joke Yeah Very good That was funny. For all the hair fans out there.

Yeah. Use that. Pisces. This will be a month of confusion and sadness, but you will find solace in educational YouTube videos, particularly Brady Haran's Objectivity series. Your lucky colour is British racing green. There you go.

They are this week's unmade horoscopes. Do you see this as like a community service? I mean, being able to read the future like this, man, it's a gift. It's a gift, yeah. I mean, it's just, well, it's not a gift. It's just an understanding of the movement of the planets through the science then it's it's science yeah it's a kind of science yeah wow yeah do you do you ever look at horoscopes like oh i mean obviously you don't

believe in them but will you will you ever read them if you stumble over one in a magazine or a paper or something or i can't i i don't think I come across anywhere where they are. I have done, you know, when you're waiting at the doctor's clinic and you're. Is it just me or do they seem to be disappearing a bit? They do seem to just be. Is it just I've changed? They just seem to be around less now. They used to be like a real fixture of, you know, in printed material.

But now you just never. I guess we don't read as much printed material anymore. Well, that's true. It's almost as if they have no verifiable factual base whatsoever. No, I'm not funny about that, yeah. But I think it was more like you're sitting at the doctor, you open up in, I don't know, like one of those magazines or something because they're all sitting there and, oh, there they are. But I don't like one like one of those magazines or something because they're all sitting there and, oh, there they are. But I don't like one that's too long. Like if it's, you know, if it's got one sentence, you know,

then it's like, oh, yeah, okay, there we go. But if I have to read a slab, I'm like, no, they're taking this too seriously. There's going to be nothing in this. It's been a while since we read an idea from one of our Patreon supporters, so I thought we'd do that. Yeah. Zach from a place called Bowling Green in Ohio.

Zach is a web developer. He works remotely for an Australian company. So listening to your podcast is almost like doing research, he says. I guess it gives him a greater understanding of Australian humour, a lack thereof. That's right. He says he's been on one work trip to Melbourne, and he hopes to convince them to have a meet up in Adelaide someday. If you do that, Zach, make sure you get everyone down to

Henley Beach. The dolphin show there is amazing. Now, Zach shared an anecdote. It's quite a long anecdote and I'm going to read the second part of it. Right. The first part of it was quite a long and involved story about hiring a car in Scotland. Right. It's not that it wasn't amusing. It was just very long. But anyway, as his trip through Scotland continued, he arrives with this hire car that he's quite uncomfortable driving. He says, I made the executive decision to stop somewhere familiar. The first McDonald's I spotted.

Pulling into a parking spot was a struggle with our big SUV. While backing in and out to fit in the lines, I almost hit an employee, a somewhat elderly woman who was taking the trash out. We finally made it inside, only to see about 10 people in manager's uniforms milling about with clipboards. Apparently this McDonald's was testing out their new automated self-ordering system, and the managers from surrounding stores had come to train. After we ordered, I headed to the restroom. When the time to flush came, I noticed the string hanging down next to me. Ah, I know, that's like the chain you've seen people use in old time movies, he thought to himself. I pulled the string and was immediately met by a deafening siren and blinding flashing lights. I tried frantically to stop the siren.

I pulled the string again. I pushed the button on the back of the toilet, which was the real way to flash, and nothing worked. So, obviously, he's pulled the emergency string for people who are having an emergency, and he set this huge alarm off in the whole McDonald's. Wow. When he's in the toilet. I exited the store looking around for anything to make it stop.

A breathless employee burst into the bathroom. Are you okay? It was the same woman I'd almost run over in the parking lot. I mumbled that I was fine and she graciously flicked some secret switch to bring the silence back. Right. That's your worst nightmare. Just wanting to not have any attention and pulling the toilet emergency button. Thank you.

And sorry about that, Zach. What do you like to do while listening to the podcast? Zach says he listens to the podcast while playing with his two dogs outside after work. My favourite days are when there's a new unmade podcast to listen to. There you go. Now. So what's his idea? We're getting to that. I'm just painting a picture. I want Zach to be a full three-dimensional person before we get to his idea okay all right which is a little flimsy on detail yeah maybe you want to go go back and read how he got the car that's bonus material where he went to school yep all right zach right, Zach. Zach's idea is called This Land is Your Land. It would be a 50-episode podcast. Each episode would interview an immigrant from one of the 50 states

until there was an episode for each state. It would be extra cool if each person was from a different country as well. So 50 different countries represented in 50 different states. I'd want to talk to people about their homeland, when they came, what made them come to the US, what their experience in the US has been, and how it's differed from what they imagined it would be. Each episode could also explore some fun facts about the state and country being discussed that week, and maybe find some similarities between the two that people might not know about.

Thanks for all that you do, from Zach. That's a pretty good twist on the sort of 50 states idea, isn't it? Yeah. It's a good twist on 50 states and it's a good twist on let's meet an immigrant and find out about their country, which is another quite, you know, standard idea. He's taken two quite standard ideas, exploring the 50 states and talking to immigrants about their country and combined them into something quite clever. I like it.

Yeah, I do. I like that too. And particularly asking them why they ended up in that state. I mean, maybe they just were sent to that state or why they, if they had 50 to choose from, coming in cold with no history, which one, why they chose to go to the one they chose. Exactly. Things like New York and California are going to be, you know i can see why you ended up here but if you're in some

you know middle of nowhere how why'd you end up why'd you why did someone from somalia end up in idaho there might be quite an interesting story there yeah and how how loyal do they feel and special about that state i know american you, people feel, some people feel a stronger identity in a state than they do almost a nation. You know, they're very parochial about where they come from. Do they feel that sense or do they feel more American or do they? Yeah, yeah. There you go. Why can't we have good ideas like that?

Duh. I missed it again. Do you know what we could do? We could just, like, scrap this, go back, re-record it, and that's my idea. That's what we could do. That's a good idea, yeah. Tim's idea is this land is my land.

And then I could read it, here's an idea from Zach, and pin the horoscopes idea on him. Or I could combine the best of them and go, this beach is your beach, and I could go to a local beach and talk to an immigrant as to why they chose this beach. Yeah. Yeah. Do a beach in each of the 50 states.

And if it's a state that's landlocked, you go to like a lakeside. Yeah. There we go. See, not only has he given us a good idea, he's helping us improve our ideas. And that's what I like. He's passed the torch on to future generations. Speaking of future generations, have you dropped in the words from your offspring? Well, it's too soon to ask me that.

I've got one in. You always say I've done it too soon. Clearly, we're at the end of the show. We've done all the parish notices. We've done both our ideas. We've done the spoon. We've done the moon. We've done an idea from a patron.

What else did you think I was going to do? What were you waiting for? We haven't talked about me abstaining from Kfc yet that would come in that would have come in parish notices we're not going to talk about that every episode but i'm proud of it every episode like i'm doing really really well tell me about how your kfc abstinence is going tim well it's going all right oh it's going every single drive we'd be driving past a kfc someone makes a comment about it in the car every single time just something like don't look dad and then every now and then we're driving along and i pretend that the car's swerving of its own accord in there like oh i have to fight

the wheel to keep it back on the road. It's just. That's a classic dad joke. Because I remember when you were a kid, you are still mildly impressed that your dad has power over the car. Like, and also can make jokes with it. Like, that's like amazing. So I have to sort of keep it on the road because the cars. Yeah. Like, I'm in control, but the car's the one that's abstaining from kfc it's all it's all about it's all about the car no that's right nice yeah no i

i am i i've been thinking we were talking tonight about popcorn and um going to the movies and popcorn and um and i was talking about popcorn where was it popcorn you were talking about oh no no popcorn is not the no no it popcorn you were talking about? Oh, no. No, popcorn is not the word. No, no, it's not the word. No, no, it's not. No. Have you said the word?

No, no. I was going there and you interrupted again. Anyway, that's it for the episode, people. See you later. Oh, that's like it's- All right. That's it.