The Unmade Podcast - 111: A Heavily Censored Episode

Episode Date: May 13, 2022

Tim and Brady discuss coffee, crumpets, dash cam footage, censorship, an assignment for Brady, Hobart, the twin of Phobos, and voice over artists. Go to Storyblocks for stock video, pictures and audio at storyblocks.com/unmade - and soon a new special contributor - https://www.storyblocks.com/unmade Hover - register your domain now and get 10% off by going to hover.com/unmade - https://www.hover.com/Unmade Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://redd.it/uonr1l Catch the podcast on YouTube where we often include accompanying videos and pictures - https://youtu.be/13Eefjvd1A4 USEFUL LINKS Crumpets - which ARE NOT THE SAME as English Muffins - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crumpet Dash Cam Owners Australia Monthly Compilation for April 2022 - go to 10:50 for the golden moment - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK3gwbZm-_4 Reddit conversation from our previous 'Bent' episode - https://redd.it/ud34t9 Pictures of Spoon of the Week - https://www.unmade.fm/spoon-of-the-week Hobart - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hobart Deimos - https://solarsystem.nasa.gov/moons/mars-moons/deimos/in-depth/ The video version of this episode features a great Deimos animation courtesy of Alexander Bock - https://youtu.be/13Eefjvd1A4 Steven Zirnkilton - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Zirnkilton Rank Films ident with the gong - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5hP15g4EI0 Lofty Fulton - https://loftyfulton.com Comedian Trailer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOTmyYqmTe0

Can I ask a question, right? Like it's morning there and you're again in your morning T-shirt and hair. Like because you don't drink coffee, how do you click on? Like, is there a line in the sand that when you cross, you go, oh, now I'm awake and I'm ready to do things? Or is it more like a- It's a sort of a very long blurry line between about 10 in the morning till lunchtime that just gradually, there's no clicking on for me i'd find that really hard there's no it's like turning on the engine when i have a nothing happens before a coffee well a shower but then you don't have to think about anything the coffee i'm like okay now i can have a conversation and i can do things and i'm ready it's turning on the engine of the car

but if you want to be dependent on chemicals and deal with addiction that's your decision i do i really do in the area of caffeine i think it's's weakness. I go to, you know how I feel about this. I go to, I walk past like Starbucks and cafes and stuff like that, like at the shops. And I see people queuing up for like 20 minutes for a coffee. And I just look at them with disdain and think you are weak people. I think it's like a weakness of our society, the way we are so addicted to coffee. You would rather spend two hours slowly adjusting to life every morning, like, and getting underway. No, I just don't. I just think that's the- I think there must be other ways. I don't think this- like, cavemen didn't need coffee to run away from the woolly mammoths, you know.

This is a new- this coffee thing is a new dependence that we've evolved. And I think it's a sign of human frailty and weakness. But you don't not do it because of that. You do it because you don't like coffee. But you could have a Coke every morning. You could wake up and have a Coke or a cup of tea. I love Diet Coke, but I'm trying to get off that. Right.

Trying to get, are you in some sort of program or? Oh, no, no. And I'm addicted to sugar as well. But, yeah, coffee addiction. Just because of the way it holds society up too. Because if I want like a muffin and I've got to wait for 18 different people to get their coffees first, it drives me crazy. Yeah, yeah. And I know when I'm hanging out with you and I'm like, can we?

It's time for a coffee. But I make it. It's so ingrained. It's like, and that'll be a lovely thing. We'll sit down together and we'll talk and catch up and have it. And you're just like, can we, it's time for a coffee. But I make it, it's so ingrained. It's like, and that'll be a lovely thing. We'll sit down together and we'll talk and catch up and have it. And you're just like, what? What? We're going somewhere.

Slowing us down. We're doing something. We've got work to do and you're slowing us down with your addiction. It's like you saying, can I quickly go behind that building and shoot up for 20 minutes? You know, I'm like, no. We've got stuff to do. That's right.

Because that's the problem with shooting up. The fact that it wastes time. That you could be working. We could be working on the podcast. Oh, dear. Oh, well done. You get into the day unaided. Well done.

Unaided. But very slowly. Yeah. Breakfast helps. You know, a bowl of Special K and maybe a crumpet. Oh, yeah. Crumpets are my heroin. Crumpets. Breakfast helps You know, a bowl of Special K And maybe a crumpet Oh yeah Crumpets are my heroine Crumpets

Crumpets for me are a late night food Not a breakfast food They're like a snack Like a sneaky snack late at night Don't get me wrong The late night crumpet has been done But that's a ridiculous statement To suggest that crumpets are not a breakfast food

Clearly crumpets are a breakfast food. I don't think they're designed as a breakfast food, are they? Yes. Yes. No, they're not like the Pop-Tart and the toast. They're in a whole different category with like hot cross buns and bakery goods and things. That's where I think of them. I think crumpets are fundamentally a breakfast food.

No, they're an afternoon evening. Hmm. Oh, I've never known this to be a're an afternoon evening. Mmm. Ooh. I've never known this to be a point of contention. This is interesting. Well, you're putting them on the side muffin. You know, I don't mean big sugary muffins. I mean those English muffins that are thin and you cut in half.

Yeah. And Americans melt when you talk about muffins and crumpets because they struggle with the difference between them. But you and I are on the same page. We just disagree about it. I say they're a breakfast food. Let us know what you think, people. Let us know why Tim is wrong

and why crumpets are indeed a breakfast food. Although we have gotten into the late night crumpets just lately. Yeah, they're good. It's lovely. With the Milo before bed. Now, parish notices. You were sent something of tremendous interest. This is one of the best pieces of unmade podcast-related media

I've seen in a long time. Oh, it's quite amazing, really, in terms of spotting. What it was, a friend of a friend sent a footage of dash cam footage. You know how you have on YouTube those dash cam, lots and lots and lots of clips tied together of people driving along with dash cam accidents and moments being caught, close calls and things like that, and they can become very addictive to watch.

Like a little clip show sort of thing, isn't it? Like a montage montage greatest moments and this one that was sent to you i believe was from a particular show called dash cam owners australia i mean a lot of these you're sort of hoping for the real near miss or something pretty exciting when you when you're watching one of these or someone's caravan flipping over they're always a good one oh that's a good yeah that always a good one. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, that is a good one. Yeah, the truck in front who's just going, oh, dear. Yeah. Well, the wonderful thing about it, of course, is you're jumping from car to car. So you're jumping into this little micro world of each person along.

And so in most of the cars, the radio's on and something's playing. And you hear what they're listening to, which is generally a song, and you jump from some to the others and some are silent but just for a few seconds you're in that person's world and it so happens in one of these clips three quarters of the way through i don't know if it goes for an hour or half an hour or something like that there's just this fleeting few minute a few seconds inside someone's car where the dulcet tones of brady harron can be heard just incredible they're listening to the unmade podcast and i come in at the end with a that's

right or something typically banal and then it's gone then we're on to the next dash cam but it's just like hang on a second and this this person who had only been listening for a little while picked it up, was watching the show and just went, hang on a second, hang on, that's familiar. And then went back and there you have it. Just a few fleeting seconds of Harren and Hein. And we do what we can to either find it, if it's possible, or if not, place it with something close enough. Oh.

Can I give you an example? Okay, give me an example. And just so people know what happened, a car was coming from the other direction. It looks like they were going through an Australian sort of country road, like in the hills, and a car coming in the other direction veers onto their side of the road and they while listening to the unmade podcast still have the capacity and attention to spare to basically swerve off the road a little bit and avoid getting smashed in some terrible head-on

collision it was a it was a near head-on but maybe it was our podcast that kept this person alert. But I don't know. Maybe, yes. What we want to do is find out who the driver was. Yes. If you are listening to the Unmade podcast, you are the person who sent in that dash cam footage of your near miss. Get in touch.

We want to know who you are because you, my friend, are are a hero not only did you do a heroic piece of driving you did it while listening to the unmade podcast i emailed the guys from dash cam footage australia or whatever but they they haven't gotten back to me they probably think we want to put in some kind of copyright claim or something but yeah yeah but uh yeah we don't we just want to celebrate these heroes so you think this person is the hero? See, I would have thought we're the heroes. We've played a role there in saving their life. I mean, I didn't want to say that, but I think it's kind of implicit.

Obviously, when the Australia Day Honours come out, that's what will be made clear. We probably don't need to play it up too much now. No, I think just let the audio do the talking. Let Brady do the talking. So this is another interesting experiment because it's a totally random sample after 108 episodes or something like that.

This is number 111. Wow, there you go. There's just a five-second snippet, and it's your voice that's there, and mine just pops in just at the end. So I'm the one who saved the life, just to be clear. Your voice doesn't come in until the incident's over. Maybe it was your voice that was lulling them into the situation. It's only when I come in at the end that they swerve.

I'm actually wondering whether or not the other car heard our podcast and found it so engaging their car just veered over onto us. Swept towards the sound. Hopefully they didn't hear our voices and then decide to ram the other car. What are you listening to that for? How different this conversation would be if the two cars hit each other. Oh, how chilling. If you can add up all those hours, five seconds,

what do you think you were talking about? Well, either the sofa shop, moons or spoons. That's about it, isn't it? That's it. You've got a better than average chance of being one of those It took any five seconds at any particular time What was I talking about? I don't know, I can't remember I switch off when your voice comes on

Even when it's on a dash cam with a major accident happening Didn't you commission one of our super fans to figure out what episode it was from yes yes he did and so super fan micah was put on the task he's also a stakeholder i believe and micah was able to figure out that it was episode 103 kfc anonymous at the 25 minute and 53 second mark when wow when the incident happened thank you micah so you too can go to that exact point and swerve close past another car and relive the experience of this person do you think maybe just when we're doing podcasts now we should just at random points go watch out watch out watch the. I definitely think we should just do,

I definitely think we should do, wake up! I'll tell you what's really distracting to have on radio and podcasts, and that's car sirens, like horns, car horns and stuff. So maybe we should just drop a few of them in episodes just to keep drivers alert. Oh, yes, good idea. Well, anyway, I thought that was,

firstly, that's a wonderful unique little feature But an incredible find by this person To pick it up and to identify It was a good spot by the person who was watching Dashcam Owners Australia If the people from Dashcam Owners Australia Will help us get in touch with the provider of the footage Please help us

Or if you are the provider of the footage Well, get in touch. Well, firstly, I would say stop, pull over carefully, then pull out your phone, look us up and get in touch. No, no, that's a waste of time. Do it now while I'm driving. While you're driving. Goodness gracious.

Maybe the person driving the car was not listening to the podcast, but they were watching the YouTube version and that's why they had the near miss. Last episode, Tim, I had a podcast idea, which I called Bent, which was all about the idea of finding out people in various occupations who are a bit corrupt and who in different occupations are the corrupt people

and how can you be corrupt in various occupations? And we had lots and lots of messages as a result i thought i'd share a little bit of it nice go ahead proceed i will make a quick call out to caulfield dream on the subreddit who wrote a really long message so i'm not going to read it all back but if you want to go to the subreddit and have a look caulfield dream is an audiologist who is someone who fits hearing aids and cochlear implants. And they had a lot to say about bent people and corruption in that industry and people who try to sell you hearing aids when you don't need them or upgrade your hearing aid when you don't need the posh version. So, if you want to know a lot about bent audiologists, go and check out Caulfield dreams wow reddit comments it was

it was really interesting also on reddit box pop challenge wrote in regard to bent professions i work for a catering company and drive a food truck it's basically a kitchen on wheels you drive up to your accounts and serve people food oh boy let me tell you my boss takes some shortcuts to make a profit first of all there's only a 30 chance the food you're getting is actually fresh we are allowed to heat the food up three times before throwing it out imagine you make dinner put away the leftovers then heat up the leftovers three times over a period of 10 days before eating it. And no, there is no discount for second or third heated food. Also, since inflation has reared its ugly head, they have extended the sell-by date on the meals by three days,

which gives us a total of 10 days before we throw the food out. So there is a chance you'll be served 10-day-old food that's been heated four times. Sounds appetising, right? I'm surprised we stay in business and aren't shut down by the government. So, there you go. Bent food vans there. I reckon I know that food van. Of all the food vans in the world, I reckon I've eaten from that one. I reckon I've eaten from various vans like that. Here's one from Zooming Owl. I'm in the speed running community and the Bent podcast could

cover cheats in speed running by the way Tim, speed running is not people running actually running this is like on video games where you're like can you complete this level of Mario in the fastest time there's been a bunch of videos on cheaters and how they try to cheat

whether it's splicing, editing, game code or replaying a recording of a run aided by frame advancingadvancing tools. So speedrunning, bent speedrunners. Tro2339 said, one of the worst cases of bent professionals are firefighters who become arsonists. I've heard of a case where a part-time firefighter in my country was caught doing arson so that he'd get called out to the fires

and thus make some money to pay off some gambling debt. Part-time firefighters here usually get paid for a minimum of two hours of work for a call-out, even if it only takes half an hour to solve. I like the idea of solving a fire. So he'd mainly do container and trash can fires, but he eventually got caught when the fire spread to a house where an old lady only barely got saved by the firefighters.

It's always a firefighter who's the arsonist in movies and stuff isn't it like yes remember backdraft in the 90s oh yeah that was on the similar kind of premise oh yeah backdraft that was amazing and finally i will just do a call out to some jeff who's one of our uh long time stakeholders not told jeff no some there's so we've got some jeff and told jeff Jeff, who's one of our longtime stakeholders. Not told Jeff. No. We've got some Jeff and told Jeff. Some Jeff. And I'm not going to read some Jeff's message because I'm not entirely sure he should have written that. But basically, he was dishing the dirt on a bunch of people in his church. Oh, no.

And it was all sorts of juicy scandals between men and ladies and people who work counting the offering and all sorts of stuff so some jeff some jeff was dishing the dirt but uh i'm not sure we'll get it cleared by the legal department oh dear but it was uh it made for it made for fun some jeff's been coming to our church lately what's going on some jeff is not a member of tim's congregation i'm sure no such scandals would ever occur at your church tim they will never come out okay so ideas for a podcast well i thought we agreed you were gonna start you say you've got something absolutely hilarious to share not hilarious just a bit quirky. Experimental. Avant-garde, I would say. Avant-garde.

Well, you are Mr. Avant-garde. Yeah. So, my idea for a podcast is called How B***h Is Tim's B***h? This is another one with dash cam footage. Now, that is not the idea of my name for my podcast. And there will be some strategic beeps there because the actual idea for my podcast is called, I think I want to call it Redacted. And this is a podcast where you talk about stuff, but you use a very liberal smattering of beeps and censoring to suggest maybe you're talking about things you aren't talking about. And my main reason for doing this is because I just think it will be funny.

But you could also make it like a game and you could have- can people guess what the beeped words are and things like that as well? Like, what is the redacted word? So, I quite like the idea of just having two people like us perhaps talking about things that could be completely benign, but just using beeps here and there to make it sound edgier than it actually is. Yeah, that's nice.

I like this. This is good fun. I think it's also whenever you see a piece of paper with boring information, you're not going to read it. But if you see it and there's this little bit of black texture in the midst of it, you want to pick it up and try and work out what's going on. It immediately adds intrigue. I'll read some text, Tim, with some redactions and then we'll, you know, just to give people a feel for it. To b**** or not to b****, that is the question.

Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the **** of outrageous **** or to take arms against a sea of **** and by a **** end them. Well, that's beautiful. That is great. Here's another one I wanted to censor. You ready? It is a period of ****. Here's another one I wanted to censor.

You ready? It is a period of... Rebel spaceships striking from a hidden... Have won their first victory against the evil... During the... Rebel spies managed to steal secret... To the Empire's ultimate weapon... The... An arm of...

With enough... To destroy an entire... Pursued by the Empire's sinister ******, Princess Leia races home aboard her ******. Custodian of the stolen ****** can save her people and restore ****** to the galaxy. This is going to work well. That's great. I like that. There was one I was hoping you might do for me if you will indulge me.

Sure. Because when I've come to your church, one of my favourite things is at the end of the service, you do that really lovely, wholesome... Is it called a benediction or something? You say this nice little phrase at the end to bless everyone as they leave. And it's really lovely. Yeah. But I wonder what that would be like with a few cents and words.

What do you say it's it's a blessing a benediction it's sort of a sending forth blessing right so you don't close a service you a worship service you send people out right and um and it's a blessing so this is an ancient blessing which i stole um many many years ago in childhood, heard a minister do, and it stayed with me. And I've said it all my life, you know, wherever I'm speaking and stuff. So do you want to hear it and do a bit of? Yes. Yes. And now may the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be good unto you in your

coming in and you're lying down and in your labor, in your leisure, in your laughter and in your till we all come to stand before Jesus on that day where there is no sunset and no. Amen. It's a bit less lovely with the beeps. That's not the version I use on Sundays, I tell you. Yeah.

And there was one more that I had an idea for that I thought might be quite fun. And I thought it might be more fun if you read it than me, because you know it better me and you may also break into you're more likely to break into song as well so i'm gonna lure i'm gonna lure you with it hang on let me send it to you i do have some specific requests from uh my daughters never to break into song on the podcast ever again there's no chance there's no chance no way i just love it that's you can't hold back the tide no no the man was born to sing i've got music in me and it's gonna come when i sing i feel god's pleasure that's right it's just that no one else does. I'll send you something that I think would be very funny with censored words.

Oh, yes. Awesome. Perhaps the most wholesome song of all time. I love it. Raindrops on and whiskers on. Bright copper kettles and brown paper packages tied up with these are a few of my things cream colored ponies and doorbells and sleigh bells and noodles that doesn't sound very nice does it noodles you wouldn't anyway wild geese that fly

with the moon on their these are a few of my things girls in white dresses with this is actually be a good dutch um rap song as well wouldn't it girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes snowflakes that stay on my nose and i silver white winters with melt into these are a few of my things when the dog when the bees when i'm feeling i simply remember my things and then i don't feel so man you didn't even get to 30 minutes without singing after telling you no i know i can't be held back because it's one of my things man tim singing singing tim singing singing these are a few of my things there we go so uh do you

think maybe we should keep the occasional bit of censoring going throughout the episode? Just strategically? Oh, yes. I think this show can only be improved through censoring. It would do it no harm whatsoever. We should go back and censor a lot of the other episodes as well. Very nice. Very nice. All all right nice work good idea yeah i wonder what the sofa shop sounds like censored the sofa shop is your only stop for the you need

the sofa shop yeah come on drop in We have a sofa design Choose your fabric match you So the shop ain't gonna what you think it will Don't you do? You see the sofa shop. Yeah My guitar solo should definitely be censored that's for sure Done

Done Done Done. Done. Well, we're not going to......the name Storyblocks. No. Storyblocks. I have amazing news, Tim, about Storyblocks. I'm so excited about this sponsorship message. Seriously.

I don't think I've told you all about this yet. Just so people know what Storyblocks is, it's this demand-driven library of royalty-free 4K and HD footage, After Effects templates, music, images, sound effects, all that kind of stuff that you can download from their library and put into your own... ..without paying royalties. You just pay this one flat monthly fee

and then you can just use all this stuff. It's an amazing resource, really important. I use it all the time uh they've got subscriptions for all budgets including the unlimited all access which is which is the one i use for the unlimited downloads go to storyblocks.com slash oh i probably shouldn't have censored that that's storyblocks.com slash unmade now i've always said tim the great thing about this is you can go and download video that has been like professionally made by other filmmakers who've traveled all around the world and filmed all the good stuff really well. So, you don't have to.

Now, here is where the exciting news comes in. I've spoken to Storyblocks. I've explained to them, look, I actually make videos for a living. You know, I see synergies here, synergies. And they have said, all right. And they have actually taken me on and are going to allow me to film some footage to go into their library that other people can then download and put into their creations. So, I am now part of that team of legends that Storyblocks use to film this stuff all around the world.

So, I'm getting ready to film my first things for the Storyblocks library. Wow. Maybe yourself or some of the civilians out there would like to suggest things they'd like to see me film for the Storyblocks library. I'm open to requests and I will then be submitting it to the magnificent archive for use around the world i'm very excited about it i bought a new when i when when they gave me the thumbs up i even bought a new camera that's how excited i was all right you're on assignment can i just just to be clear then so do they is it like you just film stuff this is cool and you and you send it to them and they go yeah we'll put that on and we won't or do they send you like okay we need two rhinos talking to a giraffe go and find it

they have not given me any specific things i think that's up to me what i do i've got lots of things in my head already but i think i'm well placed to do this because i use storyblocks archive material so often i have a really good feel for things that i like and things that i use a lot and things that are useful so i think i'm going to be really good at it and i'm already thinking in my head no i don't bother with that because i don't imagine creators will want that as much as they would want this i'm already kind of just playing it through in my head but uh i'm really excited about it i'm really excited about the idea of perhaps some civilians becoming storyblocks like you know users and then using some of my

footage yeah or just like hunting through storyblocks for my footage will you need actors or models for any of your work you can you obviously sometimes you do you have to get that that person then has to sign a disclaimer but i'm sure you'd be willing to sign one for me if i used you oh mate i sign disclaimers every day maybe next time i'm you and i are in the same country we could film some you could be like the model man in my things you know handsome intellectual sips coffee that kind of thing yeah yeah i'd happy to feature with someone like that yeah we could do it right now like surely people are looking up storyblocks for blurry footage of guy on zoom like come on the funny thing is i'm thinking with the storyblocks

footage i'm gonna really have to live my game and so when i do stuff with storyblocks it's gonna have to be better than the stuff for my own videos but uh but anyway get in get in touch let let tim and i know what you think we should be adding to the Storyblocks archive. And also, get on there. Become a Storyblocks subscriber. Join up. Storyblocks.com slash unmade. So you can have access to all this incredible footage and my footage soon that you can put into your own creations.

It's a really good resource for anyone doing anything creative. Oh, that's good we'll be able to get it legitimately rather than just ripping your footage off youtube like i do now this is and now it's time for just before you go to him just before you go into your deep voice, I saw you like limbering up the vocal cords. I just want people to know, Tim does Spoon of the Week pretty much every episode.

And I reckon seven out of ten episodes, just as we start recording, I say to Tim, have you got your spoon ready? And he's like, oh, oh, I forgot. What is it going to take for you to remember that Spoon of the Week is a segment, Dan? I don't know. I don't know how more high profile we could make spoons in our podcast life. I'm just sending you a photo of it now. But tonight, you're right.

I didn't think of it. And at the last minute, I grabbed one out of the pile, which is still a very substantial pile of quality, I should say. So anything you grab off the top is going to be good. It's very substantial pile of quality i should say so anything you grab off the top is going to be good it's like a pile of diamonds just because it's a pile doesn't mean they're not diamonds so and this one's from hobart uh brady this um spoon now this is a perplexing because i had not been to hobart uh until my honeymoon but this comes from a collection well before then so obviously my parents did but they didn't go to hobart until my honeymoon. But this comes from a collection well before then. So obviously my parents did, but they didn't go to Hobart in my lifetime.

So the only solution must be that I can deduce is that they must have done it between the time they got married and before they had me, which was one year and a bit, one year and one month. But in that time time they had their honeymoon and they wouldn't have been able to afford to do another trip as well as that. So one of them must have had it from before they were married, from the single years. And I have no knowledge of either of them going to Hobart during that time.

This is a real mystery spoon, a mystery Hobart spoon. Is it impossible that it was a gift from someone else who went to hobart and then gave it to them that i mean that i know that old people did this back in the day but that does seem a bit ridiculous i mean it's not like you're going to disneyland and bringing something back going to hobart for those that don't know overseas hobart is the capital city of tasmania which is a state the southernmost state if you can imagine if you can picture Australia in your mind it's the very southern little island just above Antarctica really it's

not very highly populated it's absolutely beautiful like New Zealand sort of beauty and it's got on this spoon a picture of a cat and a fiddle or a violin, which doesn't make any sense either. Is that like the logo of Hobart? Because it looks kind of like a shield or an official crest. Is it possible that a cat playing a fiddle is the official logo of Hobart? Let's have a look. Hobart. Obviously, Tim hasn't researched this because he only got the spoon out 10 seconds before we started.

There is a place called the Cat and Fiddle Arcade in Hobart. Ah, it's falling into place now. It's all falling into place. They may have gone there. Whoever bought this. Oh, yeah, there's this like, yeah, yeah. Oh, it looks like there's a clock called the Cat and Fiddle Clock. Oh, yeah.

Famous clock. Some famous clock. Yeah, okay. All these secret Hobart stories. You're a big fan of Hobart, aren't you? I remember you going down to Tassie and liking it. Not really. We did a trip around Tasmania that I quite enjoyed.

I don't really remember Hobart very well, but we went to Port Arthur, which is an old convict colony near Hobart, which I was really impressed by as a kid. Yeah, it made a big impression on me i've not really i can't say i'm very familiar with hobart itself the the city it's right down the bottom of tasmania on the southern tip so it's like you know it really is last stop before antarctica type territory anyway there we go i've got a spoon from there you've

got a spoon you have yeah i do with a cat and a fiddle on it. And you went there on your honeymoon. Also, speaking of spoons, we have had made the official Unmade Podcast spoon and a stakeholder, one of our Patreon supporters, wins one every episode. Well, almost every episode. And there will be one this episode. We are sending one of these magnificent spoons to aaron from dublin in ireland thank you aaron oh well congratulations aaron we are also going to send a sofa shop mixtape to monty in surrey in the uk and we will be sending a handful of spoon of the week collector

cards to the following people first of of all, this is unbelievable. I think this is the third episode in a row that Tyler from Iowa has been spat out by the algorithm. Wow. So yet again, Tyler from Iowa is a winner. He is the luckiest Patreon supporter going around. We also have Netfali from San Diego, Jack and Robin from Georgia, Hugo from Oslo, and in one of the great coincidences, Sum Jeff from Canada. So not only has Sum Jeff got a mention in parish notices, but he has won some Spoon of the Week cards. Thank you for being a Patreon supporter, all of those people.

And I hope you enjoy your **** that will be making their way to you in the post in the foreseeable future moon of the week are we on the moon of the week have you chosen a moon or you at the last minute rambaging through thinking oh jeez i need to find a moon no no i'm organized i'm organized we of course we have it so here it is love that little piano dingley bit there at the end that's nice lovely now last episode i told you about the martian moon the biggest martian moon the one closest to mars do you remember what it was called yeah because there's two of them and they're the horses on the chariot. Oh, no, that's what I thought they were, but they're not. You thought they were.

Hmm. They're something else, like Rachel and Rebecca. Is that what they're called? No, they're not. No, it was Ross and Chandler. No, it was... No, it was... I told you about Phobos.

Oh, yes. Phobos. And today I'm going to told you about Phobos. Oh, yes. Phobos. And today I'm going to tell you about the other Martian moon, the second one, which is the twin brother of Phobos in mythology, Deimos. So Deimos is the smaller of Mars's two moons, and it's further away from Mars. It's named after the ancient Greek god of dread and terror, who was the son of Ares and Aphrodite and the twin brother of Phobos.

So these twin moons are called Phobos and Deimos. Deimos was discovered by a chap named Asaph Hall III, who was working at the United States Naval Observatory in Washington, D.C. You wouldn't want to do astronomy from Washington, D.C. now with all the light pollution, but this was in 1877, so you

probably could get a good view with a telescope oh yeah he discovered it on the 12th of August in 1877 six days before discovering the bigger moon of Phobos so Deimos was discovered 1877 it's very small it's only about 15 kilometers across this moon it's just like again it's just like a little potatoey piece of rock really and because it's so small i've talked to you before about this thing called escape velocity which is how fast you have to travel before you can get away from the thing yeah demos is so small its escape velocity is just 5.6 meters per second which means theoretically you could just jump off it if you were which means theoretically you could just jump off it if you were standing on it you could just jump off off the moon into space and off you go oh wow so

there you go you wouldn't need a rocket it only has two craters on it this is this is the part that i think is interesting it has a few craters on it obviously but only two of them have been given names and they've been called swift and voltaire and they are named after jonathan swift and voltaire the writer as well and the reason they were named after those two people is jonathan swift in gulliver's tales in 1726 so you know what's that 150 years before the discovery of the moons predicted mars to have two moons. Wow. Predicted in Gulliver's Travels or just happened to say it one day at the pub?

Yes, in Gulliver's Travels, yes. Oh. And Voltaire did the same. In 1752, wrote a short story predicting that Mars would have two moons. So the two craters on Deimos, named after Voltaire and Swift. As I said, Deimos is tiny. If you're on the surface of Mars, it actually just looks like a little star. It would look like a star or like Venus looks from

Earth. Just a little bright light point moving slowly across the sky. Because it's so small, not because it's so far away. Yeah, exactly. It's not even that far away. It is further away than Phobos, but not that far away. But yes, tiny little thing in the Martian sky The second moon Phobos, Deimos, the two moons of Mars We've done them both There you go Moon of the week, job done

Oh, nice work, nice concise introduction Get me interested all the way through I think you're really improving Well, you just like them short, don't you, basically Oh no, I get interested in them. No, I am interested. Also, we would like to thank Hover for sponsoring today's episode. Hover are a magnificent long-term supporter of the Unmade Podcast.

This is the domain registrar of choice. If you're registering a domain, phobos.com demos.com whatever you want tim hein.ninja being the classic website go to hover.com slash unmade easy interface great prices all the domains you could want all the add-ons and extras you could need but they keep it simple it's not complicated they make registering a domain so easy at Hover. You will also get 10% off your first purchase if you go to hover.com slash unmade. I just think so highly of them. Actually, even just last week, I've still got a few legacy domains with other registrars that are far inferior and hard to use.

And just last week, I was moving a few more of them over to my Hover account because I just love having them in one place where it's so easy to manage them and do all the things you need to do. Hover.com slash Unmade. Simplicity is the beauty of Hover. Are you going to be working for Hover as well? Are you creating domain name ideas for the Hover? I would love to. I would love to. I'd love to. I'm open to it. I haven't entered those conversations yet. I don't think I've got quite the same skill set for Hover that I do for Storyblocks.

So, I'm not sure that I could work for them, but I'd be willing to because I love them. I think they're a top-notch company and they're huge supporters of our podcast. They actually really enjoy the podcast too. They like listening, listening. They especially like listening to the Hover ads, funnily enough. But they do enjoy them, so hello, Hover. Hope you like this one as well. The next time there's a dash cam footage with a little bit of audio,

and there's a Hover, it just happens to be during the Hover ad or something, then we'll get a bit suspicious about the marketing department there yeah thank you hover check them out people they're uh they're it's it's a really good resource and like i said it's one that tim and i actually use you don't get a better endorsement than that it is i needed help with launching our recent website i needed help in a few areas a lot of the areas and particularly with the technical side of things, getting it up. But the domain bit, I did myself. I was like, oh, no, this is easy with Hobber.

Did it all myself. Felt very proud. There you go. That is actual proof that it's idiot proof. There you go. Now, an idea for a podcast. Tim, you have been blowing your own trumpet a bit the last week. You're quietly, well, you're not even quietly confident.

You're loudly confident that you had a decent idea. You can't blow your trumpet and be quietly confident at the same time. No, no, no. That's more, there's a couple of other ideas in the bag, but I do have one tonight that I have done a little bit of prep for, which is always a bad sign, I know. It's almost a guarantee that it's going to be one we've done before. What have you got?

Let me play you a little bit of audio. And I want to tell you, this is just going to go for a few seconds, and I want you to tell me if you can place the voice. Ladies and gentlemen, Steve Corral. Now, did you hear the voice in that? I can't hear it well enough. If you don't recognise it, I'll play you this. In the criminal justice system,

the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups, the police who investigate crime and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories. Obviously, I know that. Yeah. I know that piece of audio. I don't know who says it.

Well, this is a guy called Stephen Zirkilton, is I think how you pronounce it, who's a pretty interesting guy. And my podcast idea is pulling him on and others to talk about his career as a voiceover. He's a fascinating guy. And getting him on and going looking for him and there's a whole bunch of others that I've got here that you might know or and we could talk about your favourite ones too but I think this is a really fascinating line of work. The interesting

thing about Stephen Zirkilton is that he actually got a job on Law and Order. He was actually cast in a small role and then Dick wolf the maker of law and order like was talking to him and going oh hello i like that voice and asked him to do the voiceover which has now been going on for like 25 years or something like that i mean this is this is a great idea tim because not only does it you know bring shine a light on these kind of unknown people but they've all got magnificent voices, so they're just going to be wonderful to listen to. I know, I know, I know.

The cool thing about this guy is that not only does he get other gigs doing voiceovers for events, he's done the voiceover announcing for the Kennedy Centre Honours for, like, the last, you know, 17 years or something like that, and that's what he was saying at the start there. But he's also, like, the onstage announcer for the top cop awards in washington dc so like the cops get to win awards which i can have him announced which i think is really really really cool that is cool yeah that is cool yeah so he's he's i mean it's so familiar so familiar but there

is loads of these as well and i was thinking about this other one i didn't go looking it up but sit ubu sit good dog sit ubu sit good dog do you remember that one which happened at the end of the tv show family ties um every week and every week and yeah you know there's the guy that introduces the late show with David Letterman, you know, and it goes on and then they have a particular person. They're all over the place, these voices, and they're so familiar and some of them are known, but some of them aren't known. And I thought getting them on and talking about how they came

to discover they had something like a really unique voice would be something that was really quite interesting. Yeah, or just people who are famous for their voice, like James Earl Jones or people that have done like, yeah. You reminded me with Si Ubu. See, I was at a museum in Edinburgh recently of musical instruments and they were just showing me all these quirky and interesting musical instruments. And then she showed me at the back of one of the cases with no label on it,

nothing special, it wasn't made a big deal of, was a gong. You know, a gong you can bang and she and she said i'll see that gong there that's kind of famous too and i was like oh why is that and they said that's the gong they used to record the noise of the gong in the rank arena little sting you know whenever there were movies by rank arena or things and there was a big muscle man hitting a gong in slow motion and that was the gong that was used for the gong noise. And I was like, oh, wow, that's amazing. It was like a celebrity gong.

It was a voiceover gong. It wasn't the gong in the video, but it was the gong that they used for the noise. So you saw it and you know I've heard the gong in the video, but it was the gong that they used for the noise. So you saw it and you'd know I've heard that gong dozens and dozens of times in my life without realising it. Yeah, hundreds of times. There's a couple of really great Australian ones. There was the legendary introduction to Sail of the Century,

which, you know, Sail of the Century. Sail of the Century. But this was a bit unique because right at the end, this was a game show in Australia, and I think we've mentioned it before on Unmade, but right at the end, there was some closing announcements at the end, naming the sponsors and those sorts of things. But then it concluded with Pete Smith speaking.

So the announcer actually signed off with his name, and that became kind of legendary as well, doesn't it? This is a Grundy Television production for the Nine Network Australia. Peter Smith speaking. There's a pretty interesting guy called Lofty Sultan who's done a whole range of different projects, like commercial advertising and voiceovers for events and all that. His voice is really well known.

As soon as I heard it, it sounded familiar as well. And he brought out a biography recently. And i've seen the cover in the bookshops and i'm now interested to go and read it but he's um really interesting because he gets the job so many of these folks get jobs because they have those lovely deep you know sort of uh resonant voices a farm life it's a life measured in seasons past. But he's actually a dwarf. He has dwarfism. And so it's fascinating. You look at a photo and he says his entire life is people coming to terms with the clash between what they're hearing and what they're seeing.

Like, you know, this little guy. And but then he's of course and and now even more so the older he gets more and more people recognize his voice so he says you just whenever i meet people they're they're they're looking at me and they're not just looking at me going oh well there's this a guy who's uniquely got dwarfism it's not that unique but it is unique he says you know of course that's a different thing but they're also looking at me with this strange voice go you are somehow familiar and he says i know it's i know it's my voice i've mentioned before that my wife goes to sleep to this app uh where people read things to you to relax you and calm you down you know you're going on a train journey on the siberian express

out the window you see the mountains, you know. And she's got three or four different main narrators on the app and she has her favourites and we know their names and talk about them and she's like, oh, I think I'm going to have a bit of Eric Brat tonight. They're like real household names in our place and occasionally, you know, you'll look up a picture of them and it's like, oh, that's not what I imagined him looking like. Or, oh, that's exactly what I thought he'd look like. But, yeah, there are a few sort of celebrity voices in our house as well.

Oh, that's nice. That's nice. Are you a fan? You know, there are shows where you come back to a new episode and there's a voiceover standard that says, you know, last week on XYZ. And if you get used to that voice, it becomes a familiar, trusted voice. And often you just want to skip at that point these days anyway. But there is also the trend of one of the characters from the show doing that voice every now and then.

Cool. That's more common, I would say. Yeah, well, I'm not sure I'm a big fan of that, to be honest. I mean, I know it's efficient use of them. It's like they're on the payroll, so why not use them? But they're kind of breaking character at that point. They're suddenly working and they're breaking the fourth wall, talking about the show rather than being in the show.

Like, here's a character I'm playing today. Oh, hey, put down that gun. It's like it's totally wrong do you have a problem with the west wing characters doing the previously on the west wing yes i don't like it at all no it takes me outside of the show just when i want to be immersed in it that's fair enough that i i respect that i'm watching a show at the moment with my wife called the last kingdom which is you know some handsome viking you know doing amazing things in england and he does the introduction he does the introductions at the start and he's like

saying i am utrid and this happened to me and then i found out my sister had been kidnapped and then i fought in a great battle and they and that's how they do the recap and he's so obviously reading it and i feel the same way i'm like it's breaking it suspends disbelief because it's like well hang on why is he talking to me he's a he's some warrior in the past he can't tell me what's happened previously in the show yeah my name is utrid son of utrid the rightful heir to bebanba we shouldn't be resorting to this especially when morgan freeman is still alive and available for work i mean well another classic where you, ever see the voiceover artist, of course, is The Wonder Years, where Daniel Stern, you know,

is Kevin Arnold's grown-up voice all the way through The Wonder Years. Yeah, yeah. I love that. It's his adult self as a whole other character there talking to you. I like that. Good one. Good one. And all the movie trailers.

Remember movie trailers used to always have voiceovers and then that just went out of fashion and now it happens pretty much never anymore it used to always be the thing you know in a world where in a world that needed a hero and all that and they talk this summer yeah that's right yeah this summer columbia tri-star invites you to come to, you know, Jurassic Park. But then it kind of got a bit meta and ate itself when that Seinfeld film used the guy that does the voiceovers. Remember there was that famous trailer for some Seinfeld film,

the film that Jerry Seinfeld was doing, not Seinfeld the TV show, and they used the guy that does those voiceovers and he's in a voiceover booth and they're trying to get him to speak normally and just do the trailer for them but he can't help himself and he can't help just exaggerating everything and making it in a world where laughter was king in a world where laughter was king uh no in a world jack they wanted his voiceover. He is doing the voiceover. He's playing himself.

Because he's like, he was the most famous voiceover man in Hollywood. So they got him and then they've got him in the booth trying to get him just to do a nice normal voiceover. But he just can't help exaggerating everything. Like, yeah. In a land that... No, in a land either. In a time...

No, I don't think so. In a land before time. I in a land either. In a time. No, I don't think so. In a land before time. I'll play a bit of it and I'll put a link in the show notes. He was like Mr. Movie voiceover at the time. He did all the voiceovers. Everything you know is wrong. That's wrong. In an outpost.

No. On the edge of space. I think maybe they went away from that. Maybe because of that, but also because it does sound very authoritarian, doesn't it? And the culture has kind of changed a little bit from having, you know what I mean? Like here is Mr. Male Movies. And very masculine, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very masculine, yeah. It's very different these days. All right, man. Well, I think we're pretty much Well done with this episode Well the great thing about this of course Oh this is great Is we can do my words

The first word is And the second word is And I got them in Yes, fantastic He did say them girls he did say them I just beeped them out I did say them

they are they're written look they're written here and I said them excellent the secret words are in the can you figure out what the secret words were

that I just beeped out probably not