The Unmade Podcast - 113: The Rolex Treatment

Episode Date: July 27, 2022

Hover - register your domain now and get 10% off by going to hover.com/unmade - https://www.hover.com/Unmade Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://redd.it/w9bwrt Catch the podcast on YouTube where we often include accompanying videos and pictures - https://youtu.be/OY6x9QZOdaE USEFUL LINKS KFC cabbage issue - https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10914723/KFC-customers-left-fuming-chains-use-cabbage-instead-lettuce-burgers.html Rolex Golf Ad - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=athXdekTtBE Rolex Tennis Ad - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jp5ltrn-_Ek Pictures of Spoon of the Week - https://www.unmade.fm/spoon-of-the-week Send your own spoon by following these instructions - https://www.unmade.fm/send-us-a-spoon Moama - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moama The Nullarbor Plain - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nullarbor_Plain Endor - https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Endor

It has recorded. We are back. We are officially back, baby. Do you remember how to do this? Is it like riding a bike? Well, I've got to remember how to talk to you, which I've had plenty of practice at. Also, I have to be kind of witty and a bit stupid,

and I have lots of practice in both of those. Okay. Good. I have a parish notice, Something that happened while we were away Apparently this was huge news in Australia So I'm expecting you to tell me all about it There was some flooding apparently Over on the east coast

And it had a really bad effect On lettuce crops And apparently the price of lettuce In Australia went through the roof. And as a result, KFC took the controversial decision of putting cabbage on its chicken burgers mixed in with the lettuce. And it caused absolute outrage. People were absolutely going off in Australia.

This was like, this was a national incident. Can you shed any light on this? I do know about this. It was on the news and I remember reading about it in the newspaper. I don't know it from first experience because as you know, I'm on a KFC fast for 2022 and we're past the halfway mark now. And just as well well I'm on a fast with this kind of desperate behaviour going on. Yeah. It was amazing. Lettuces kind of turned out a bit like tulips in Holland at one stage. They became astronomically rare and expensive.

Were people on street corners like opening up their jacket going, hey man, want to buy a lettuce? That's right. Just buying them on eBay and, yeah. Look, and I did see this about KFC. I thought it was a very unwise move, but it got them a bit of publicity, albeit negative publicity. Yeah.

I don't know if they've continued with it or not. I haven't eaten any KFC or... Well, even when you are eating KFC, you've never really been a KFC burger man anyway, so this wouldn't really have affected you. No, no, I'm not. I mean, I do have a zinger every now and then. I like a burger if I'm heading somewhere and I'm wearing a suit or something.

What, and you're feeling all posh? On the way to a wedding reception or something, you just need a little snack to tie you over because you know it's going to be a long night until the main meal comes out. Yeah, it's a bit easier to hold in one hand in the car. If you're the passenger, you're fine to go the two hands. But if you're doing the one hand, then a Zinger burger is all right. I think that's why I'm a big burger man at KFC is because usually I have my KFC in the car on the go because I have to hide the consumption from my wife.

Yes. So KFC is always a car experience for me. And that's why the burger is so much more convenient. You can't be fiddling with bones and whole pieces of chicken while driving. No, no. And the slippery fingers with the chicken sticks around long after you've got home. So if you get home and you're scrubbing your hands, it's always a bit of a getaway. It's like...

I'm just very COVID aware. That's right. That's right. No. So, that's true. Yes or no, I've remained off the KFC. And so, I've managed on this occasion, it's had the one positive benefit, apart from probably extending my life, is that I didn't have to have cabbage in my burgers. I don't like lettuce anyway.

I don't like like gem lettuce, like those big, that kind of big leaf ball of lettuce. I like things like rocket and that kind of stuff, but. Oh yeah. Loose leaf lettuce. Yeah. You know, we had actually growing up a lot of kale. I know that kale has become like a really cool hipster sort of ingredient in juices and stuff, but for the Dutch people

it's just like lettuce and cabbage in their meals so we used to have kale all the time. Why would you be having a Dutch ingredient in your childhood? Oh, we did have some connection to Holland at one stage. Yeah. It was down your father's line Wasn't it? Can I just check in Another parish notice

I know we made a big announcement about it But your son How is he progressing Two months down the track Yes he's progressing He's expanding He's lengthening more than anything He's quite long now He's expanding. He's lengthening more than anything. He's quite long now. He's going really well.

I'm sure I'll be dropping baby stuff in all the time through the podcast organically. So I don't want to, you know, I don't want to make too big a deal of it. I don't want to turn it into a Tim's dad was Dutch thing. Brady talking about his baby all the time. So, you know, but he's doing really well. of time so uh you know but uh he's doing really well thank you everyone for bearing with us during our break while i uh while i really knuckled down i will continue to knuckle down and uh raise my son i'm not going to stop that now the podcast has restarted but uh everything everyone warns you about how about how intense and relentless and how little sleep you get uh turns out it's true

it's pretty it's pretty Turns out it's true. It's pretty hardcore, but it's also really rewarding. And we're having a great time with the little man. Good stuff. You're looking awake to me. You're looking, yeah, pretty snazzy. Everyone says, I'm still playing my tennis. My wife's been really good and is letting me still play my tennis.

You know, she accommodates my tennis playing. I accommodate her various exercise activities because i think that's an important thing keep look after your body and your mind while uh while doing this so yeah well indeed still still still looking after myself so ideas for a podcast i'm taking a sip from water bottle, so why don't you go first on this occasion? It's going to be a long sip, so just start talking. All right. During my time away from the podcast, I've been watching a lot of sport, of course, and I like watching the majors in golf and tennis, you know, the Grand Slams, the big events, and there have been a few of them lately.

Oh, yes. One thing I really noticed during these events, though,, the grand slams, the big events, and there've been a few of them lately. Oh, yes. One thing I really noticed during these events, though, is quite often these sports, particularly individual sports, are sponsored by Rolex, the watch company. And Rolex love running these ads that you see over and over again when you're sitting there watching hour after hour of golf and tennis. They run these ads and they always make a bespoke one for that particular tournament whether it's you know the masters or the the french open or whatever it is you're watching they'll have made a special ad and these rolex ads i think they're international i'm hoping a lot of people will be familiar with them i don't think they just run in britain but i obviously

only see them in britain and it's hard to explain them, but they're very grandiose, very pretentious. They remind me a bit of movie trailers, and they really kind of over-egg the importance of sport, this particular sport. And they'll have all these fantastic, picturesque shots of the world's greatest players in action, usually in slow motion, extreme close-ups,

intercut with the occasional gratuitous shot of a Rolex watch. But they're really kind of... Well, let me play one for you. Let me play you one from the Gulf first. Here's an example of one of these Rolex ads. This is a world where an ardent heart and a sharp mind can meet and reach a perfect balance. Serene, sovereign, with a beat of its own.

Every movement foreseen, conceived, rehearsed to the very last detail. So that when the time is right, when the fickleness of the elements has been factored in, and the absolute focus of the mind instilled in every part of the body, that one shot is released. It takes but one instant, yet it perpetuates a tradition of nobility deeply rooted in history and an ironclad resolve to improve the values of a discipline driven by passion and bound for perfection.

You know these, Tim. Do you see them in Australia? Are you familiar with these ads? Oh, yes, yes. People still do market to Australians. Yes. Most of our money is being diverted away from Rolexes to lettuces at the moment, but soon it will swing back.

Lettuce is the Rolex of the vegetable world. Yeah, anyway. I would love to see one of these ads made about a lettuce and the golf swings coming down on lettuces and shooting them across. Let me give you one more example because that was a golf one. Let's have another example. Here's one just recently from the tennis.

These are the most prestigious, sought for, fought for tennis grounds. Yet inside these lines, players are on their own. for tennis grounds. Yet inside these lines players are on their own. This is their domain. It is theirs to defend. This game lives for resilience and elegance, patience and panache, power and heart. But the reason we've been supporting tennis so passionately for so long is that inside these lines you're not so much facing adversaries as you are peering through a mirror, trying

to outdo none other than yourself. You get the picture and there's shots of Roger Federer lifting trophies and all the great players of the world playing all their beautiful shots. Lots of historic grainy shots as well from the past, of the greats of the past of the sport. Really laying it on thick. It's really interesting because they on the one hand are playing up how great and special all these people are on the other hand they're trying to make it personal like you are also special because what

these people are doing is not like winning a major tournament they're winning against themselves yeah and you too can win against yourselves and if i owned that watch that would be the equivalent to me winning against myself i don't mind that i don't mind them riffing a little bit on you know you're playing against yourself when it's golf but you can't be saying that in tennis no tennis you're explicitly playing against another person and that's the only person you have to beat they could serve a double fault and you'll win a point without doing anything so like so like i think i don't think you can really pull that card as much in tennis as you can in golf but anyway anyway the other interesting thing about these ads is they kind of they kind of try to be vague enough that some of the stuff they're saying can kind of be mapped

onto watchmaking you know like precision and all that sort of stuff. And so, anyway. Craftsmanship. Yes. So, my idea for a podcast is called The Rolex Treatment. And this is a podcast where you pick, like, something, not tennis or golf, but something else. It could be a lettuce.

And you give it the Rolex treatment. You really go full pretentious. You really, really go in hard. And I've been having a bit of a play, Tim, and I thought I might share with you an example. I've made a Rolex-style ad for the Unmade podcast. Oh, good stuff. I'd like you to have a listen.

If ever there was a craft where I feel like I'm going up against myself, it's the Unmade Podcast. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not co-hosting with Tim. I'm really co-hosting it with myself. There you go. So, I've sent it to you.

Yeah. I'll just play it. This is not just a podcast. This is a crucible of creativity. A place where the seed of an idea is planted in the mind and rings through the ages like a thousand carillon bells. Schemes are scrutinized. Proposals are polished

until they shine like diamonds in the galaxy of imagination. This is a stage where boys become men and men become giggling schoolgirls. Where spoons are forged in the heat of a million suns. A place where KFC is consumed in a greasy frenzy of beige-coated chicken. Where moons drift in eternal orbits and sofas match your curtains too. A rhombus where Tommyball is not just a game, but a way of life. A place where civilians become stakeholders and stakeholders become colonels. This is not just a podcast.

This is The Unmade Podcast. A crucible of creativity. I love it. It's fantastic. Yes. Where spoons are forged. We're sitting in a thousand suns that's fantastic oh wow it it it's um it almost gives it a bit of credibility doesn't it like it's like i felt proud for a moment there almost Almost. Let's not get carried away.

Do you think I found a calling here writing these ads? Oh, yes. I think they're a wonderful idea. You could go into business making these for people's birthdays and all sorts of things, like about a person. I was feeling on a bit of a roll. So I went and had a look at the Malvern Uniting Church website and thought I might do you a bit of a solid.

I know you're always up for a bit of marketing. Oh, really? So I've made a Malvern Uniting Church Rolex ad as well. I've tried to not be too theological. I've tried to sort of stay in my lane because, you know, but I've drawn a bit of inspiration from what I found on the site and you tell me what you think of this one. This is the church where Tim is the minister for people who don't know.

This house is open to all. A heavenly place of reconciliation and renewal. A flourishing community where grace is not just a thing you say before dinner. A congregation fuelled by coffee, conversation and communion. Where ancient stained glass reverberates to the sound

of modern music. Where the sermons might run a bit long but they also ring true. One mission, one passion and 142

downloadable sermons this is malvin uniting all are welcome through these doors up to a maximum capacity of 263 people that's fantastic i love it that's great yeah yeah I think you might run that on local TV there or. Yeah. Yeah. I can't see why we wouldn't plaster that all over the, the world cup. Imagine taking something like our humble little church and deciding to just

spend an exorbitant amount of marketing money and play advertising during the super bowl and the world cup. It's like someone we get four extra people who come on. I just thought I'd check it out. You know, I saw it, you know, during the World Cup and. Yeah, thought I'd come and have a look. Yeah, why not? $40 million well spent.

Welcome, Jeff. Come inside. I really wanted, I wanted to make sure I got the coffee in there because I love how you do like all the hot drinks before the service. That's my favourite thing about your church. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Recently though, John, my friend John has been appointed as the sort of coffee coordinator. He's like the coffee czar and he's a real coffee connoisseur, real barista at heart. And he's a real coffee um connoisseur real barista at heart and he's taken

leadership of that and oh geez he's doing a good job training new people wow building the team raising the standard look i this wasn't my plan but you've inspired me with another idea i think we should lay down a challenge to any sort of uh creative civilians out there who would like to submit their own Rolex-inspired ad. And I think we should make lettuce the theme. Who can come up with the best Rolex-themed ad promoting lettuce? That's a great idea. Yeah. Like cabbage, only kind of softer.

Unmadefm at gmail.com. I don't want to give people too much advice. I want you to do it your own way. Traditionally, these things often do start with this is. This is a crucible. This is a place where dreams become reality. But, you know, this is a patch where the soil is fertile. I hate to be pedantic, right?

But in the tennis one that you played before from Rolex, it used the phrase looking through a mirror. And that jarred with me a little bit. I bumped on that. Do you look through a mirror or you look at a mirror? Yeah, it says peering through a mirror. You're right. You don't peer through a mirror unless it's one of those like two-way mirrors that they use in like interrogations or something. And you're like, it could be one of those mirrors. But then, that's right. But you're not peering. It's the one thing you actually can't do is peer through a mirror.

You can peer at a mirror. You can't peer through a mirror. The people on the other side watching the interrogation, they can peer through the mirror. But it's not a mirror for them. It's just a window. It's only a mirror for you. Well, it is a mirror. But you're right. Maybe the mirror, but it's not a mirror for them. It's just a window. It's only a mirror for you. Well, it is a mirror, but you're right. Maybe the mirror has a hole in it so you can look through the mirror via the hole that's been sort of drilled in the middle of it.

What, at your competitor on the other side? So it undermines the entire premise of actually having a mirror, using a mirror as a metaphor. Because you can't. You have to have a hole in the mirror or you couldn't play the tennis Because otherwise the ball would just keep bouncing back at you How vain do you have to be to play tennis against a mirror? I mean, that's really... Yeah, interesting In fact, the tennis racket is a bit like a mirror, isn't it?

You know those old-fashioned mirrors they hold up? If you're holding up your tennis racket It's a bit like holding up a mirror. Maybe that's where tennis players get all their great hand grip from, is that all those years spent looking in the mirror, perving at how wonderful and graceful and sleek they look. Anyway, give us your Rolex-inspired ad for Lettuce or something else.

You know, we'll take what you submit. And we might play a few of them on a future episode if, you know, we're bored and struggling for content. Again, I hate to be pedantic, right? I don't think you do hate to be pedantic. I think you revel in it. No, you're being pedantic. Look, Tim, I hate to be pedantic, but you're being pedantic. I don't think you do hate being pedantic Look Tim I hate to be pedantic

But you're being pedantic I don't think you do hate being pedantic Go on Where's the podcast idea in this Like that's really cool but I've forgotten What's the podcast idea Here's the idea for a podcast Each week the viewers submit to the host

A topic about which they want them to make A Rolex style ad. They can talk through their ideas and their scripting process. And at the end, they can play the finished product where they hype up and big up some product or idea or thing that probably isn't worthy of the Rolex treatment, but gets it anyway. Nice. I'd like to make a Rolex style ad for Omega watches. Nice I'd like to make a Rolex style ad for Omega Watches Now I know that you own a Rolex or two even

I do You've got a I do Only one I have a Rolex Explorer Which is inspired by the Mount Everest expedition So actually wearing a Rolex every day And then having seen those ads

Is it a bit underwhelming in reality? Like when you put it on, does music start up behind you? It's everything you dreamed and more. Seriously, I wear it out to tennis and I start playing like Roger Federer. It's amazing. Do you? Yeah, yeah. When you wear Rolex, you actually can see through mirrors.

Wow. Wow. That is impressive. Rolex. That gives you superpowers. That's the power it has. That's why vampires wear them. Yeah.

Oh, really? Okay. Yeah. So, that's the idea for a podcast. Yeah. Okay. All right. that passes the muster then well done yeah i mean we've we've had rupier ideas than that goodness no i mean i don't

want to be pedantic but you know uh all right uh there's an idea there's a podcast i had two podcast ideas in case that one didn't last long enough but but I think I've pulled it off with that one. Oh, yeah. No, I think that's long enough. Yeah. Definitely is long enough. Shall we make a quick reference to today's episode sponsor? Absolutely.

Rolex. It's not Rolex. We haven't finalized that deal yet so uh but uh it is in fact to me an even more prestigious and well-known brand and that is hover oh yes hover yes hover the domain registrar of choice The place to go to register all your.coms and your.nets and your.ninjas and your.watches and every other.something you can imagine.

Fabulous, fabulous website. Easy to use. Great interface. I've got dozens and dozens of domains registered there. Some of them for future projects. Many of them for current projects. I can't recommend them highly enough. And actually, something just occurred to me, Tim.

We've talked in the past about how registering a domain can be a nice gift for someone. I was actually thinking, should I register my son's name or variations of that just to have it for him in the future? I don't want him to get to the age where he starts thinking about a website and finding all the websites are gone. Maybe I could secure that. Maybe in the meantime I could use it as a place to post pictures for my family and stuff like that, you know, as a secure page. Good idea, man.

Great idea. Yeah. Their own little piece of cyberspace. Do people still say cyberspace? I don't know. A bit of virtual real estate do they yeah on on yeah remember on tv news they used to say on the the so-called internet on the world wide web the world wide web world wide web yep world wide web still my favorite one because it just does sound ring with that lovely early 90s, the World Wide Web. It's got that lovely sort of sound to it.

The interesting thing, it's quicker to say than www. www is harder to say. There's more consonant. No, not consonant. What are they called? Syllables. Syllables, that's the word. Yeah, there's more syllables in www than there is in World Wide Web.

Maybe we should start saying that. If you'd like to visit our website, go world wide web dot unmade dot fm we would certainly save time that would be more time for ideas man well maybe we should stick with www then uh so if you would like to own your own piece of the the world wide web in cyberspace go to hover.com slash unmade and go ahead register some domains you've really got to it's it really makes sense from no matter what you do for personal reasons for business reasons just for fun uh it's always good to have a good handy domain to create a website or just to divert the domain to a website that already exists highly recommend it and if you go to our good friends at hover you will get 10 percent of your first purchase if you use that slash unmade hover.com slash unmade they're fabulous sponsors of the podcast and just a good business to check out as well. Absolutely.

I have domains purchased for ideas I haven't even had yet, man. No. Wow. That's incredible. Yeah, I sometimes just purchase a domain, just random word, and then come up with an idea based on the domain. You know, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah. One thing I'm sure everyone has been missing has been

oh yes and well brady i have to say i've recently been on holiday and it was a wonderful holiday to a town called bright and i believe bright we've had a spoon from bright in the past and um because we went there when i was a little kid but while we were there the town kind of just next oh no no on the way to bright coming from adelaide is a town called uh now i'm gonna remember how to pronounce this is it moama i always want to say it wrong hang on i'm taking this spoon out of its holder nice foley work there yeah moama that's right it could be moama i i mean i could be pronouncing it wrong we were there late at night so i uh i don't know but on the way we went to a place called Maima, and we stopped in a second-hand store closer to Bright

and were able to locate in this second-hand store a big box of spoons. I don't know what people are doing getting rid of their spoons. Crazy. But we went rummaging through them and managed to pull out one from the town of Moama, which I didn't yet own. It's near Echuca, but I already had an Echuca one and also had already a bright one. But this is a beautiful spoon from Moama. I haven't actually shown it to you, have I?

Sorry. No, just hold it up there for a second. There we go. Is that a bridge that I can see on the picture on the handle? It is because Moama is right next to the Murray River. Echuca's on one side and this is on the other. Oh, I like a good bridge. Oh, it's a beautiful bridge and it's a sort of concrete,

but the Murray River is beautiful. It's the longest river in Australia for those who are listening overseas. Does that picture on the handle of the spoon of the bridge in Moama do justice to the bridge? It's better than the bridge, to be honest, because it's kind of brown, whereas it's concrete in real life. But it is nice, solid bridge and several lanes going in each direction, quite a bit of traffic. It's quite a thoroughfare. But I do love a little coloured picture on my spoon. And that one's got a bit of water. I also like this sort of greenish kind of

sky. It's kind of got a nice storybook kind of look to it. Go to our website or YouTube channel if you would like to see what the spoon looks like. Tim, why did you not buy the whole box of spoons? Because I already have a massive box of spoons that we're working through. Are you saying it's possible to have too many spoons? You can have too many spoons. And I don't really want other people's spoons. No.

I mean, they're people from our listeners. I don't want, and from our family, but not from strangers. So, I mean, those spoons could be in the secondhand shop because they belonged to someone who died. They could be cursed spoons. Oh, I'm going to put it back in its container now. Hang on. Can I throw in a quick holiday spoon as well? Just as a quick bonus spoon at the end of spoon of the week only if i can throw in a quick moon at the end of moon of the week coming up in a minute

well when you hear when you hear what moon of the week is this week you're not going to want any other moons this is going to be you're going to be so happy trust me but first that is big talk trust me you're gonna you're gonna be all in on this week's Moon of the Week. But before we do that, just quickly, my family in Australia recently, just in the last week or two, drove across the Nullarbor Plain between Perth and Adelaide, one of the famous drives you can do. It's got one of the longest pieces of straight road in the world. Nullarbor, of course, is Latin for no trees. It's a very boring drive.

And my nephew, Sebastian, bought me a spoon from the Nullarbor Roadhouse in South Australia. It's got a picture of a dingo on the handle. Very sort of brown, ochre-y coloured spoon as well, in keeping with the outback of Australia. Nice. That will also be in the show notes and on the YouTube video. Thank you for that excellent spoon, which I will mail, which now that I have admired it and put it on the show, I will mail to Tim so that it can go into the Canon True Collection

for future photography and possible immortalisation as a collector card. Speaking of collector cards and other such things this is the part of the show where we normally announce winners of prizes we of course have an unmade podcast official spoon struck here in england and the winner of a spoon from our Patreon stakeholders is Iona Maria from New York. Iona Maria. You are receiving an Unmade Podcast spoon. And we are also sending one of our SofaShop mixtapes to Christopher O from Atlanta, another loyal stakeholder.

And, of course, Spoon of the Week cards this is this is what it's all about this is what everyone's after uh and a handful of these cards are going to go to ben g from leicestershire in england joe t from london naomi e from the australian capital territory in australia of course hence australian capital territory uh iona maria again not only has this person won a spoon they've also then algorithmically been chosen for some cards that's a double win for them double iona yeah and robert h from london as well now tim while we're speaking of prizes while we've been on our little hiatus i was was in a store recently, an art store, and I found these wonderful sort of spacey, moony and map themed artistic prints on lovely parchmenty paper. They're really

beautiful things. And I decided to buy a bunch of them and send them to randomly selected Patreon supporters as well. There are eight. One of them's already been sent and the other seven i did the draw last night to decide who was going to get them so we have seven other stakeholders who are about to receive a wonderful gift are you going to announce who they are yeah oh good tim would you like to read out these names i would hang on before i look at them though possibility here of a iona hat trick. A triple Iona. Oh, I don't know about that. That would be something. Here are the seven winners.

These people were receiving artistic prints either of maps or spacey things. All right. We have Noah H from Zurich. Amy L from Berkeley. Jack D from Haywood's Heath in the UK, Micah M from Adelaide, Desiree from South Africa, Iliad from Austin, Texas. I hope I've said that right, Iliad. And Bruce G from Washington State.

Congratulations, Bruce. There we go. Huge. Wow. The prizes are coming thick and fast. If you'd like to be a Patreon supporter, go to patreon.com slash unmade FM. And, you know, get a little bit of support for the show, possible glory and gifts coming your way.

Really appreciate the support. Fantastic to have you on board. Now, here it is. It's time for moon of the moon wow moon of the week now you've built this up now there's only when you build up a moon i feel like there's all the moons and then our moon but you're not doing our moon that would be too obvious so there has to be another moon that's equally as exciting or as interesting and yep i don't know what moon that might be can you think we've done one of

the jupiter ones haven't we there's a few around there's many more around jupiter than i thought uh are we doing another one of them let me give you a clue tim this moon is far far away wow um well i know we've talked about like pluto is not a planet but it's not a moon is it i know it's a satellite but is it does whatever planet pluto is does it have a moon pluto has two moons but that's this is from this is not just far far away tim this is not just far, far away, Tim. This is from a galaxy far, far away. Wow, that's not a moon. That's a space station. No, it's not.

Oh, it is highly Death Star related. Is it the moon of Endor? It is. Today's moon is Endor from Return of the Jedi. Wow. I didn't know that was a real moon. That's amazing! So,

obviously this is a fictional moon. It was always unclear to me exactly what was meant by the forest moon of Endor. Did they mean, when you say forest moon of Endor, that the moon is a forest moon, like, with no name and it's going around a planet called Endor?

Or did they mean it's a forest moon called Endor, you know, of Endor, like you would say the land of Australia? So how did you interpret? When it was called the forest moon of Endor, how did you interpret that? I've always assumed it the latter. Right. That this is a forest moon called Endor. That's how I've always thought of it.

Okay. And the planet it's going around remains unknown, unnamed, as far as we're concerned. Yes, I guess I've never thought about it. But, for instance, when you mentioned it before, I said, oh, Endor, like that's the moon. You know, that's the moon. And it's famously called the Battle of Endor, isn't it? The battle that happens in Return of the Jedi is called the Battle of Endor. Like, that's the moon. You know, that's the moon. And it's famously called the Battle of Endor, isn't it? The battle that happens in Return of the Jedi is called the Battle of Endor. Is it?

I'd forgotten that. I've been doing a bit of research. Because obviously there's a whole, you know, expanded Star Wars universe now and everything's been elaborated on and you can find all this stuff out. So I've learned quite a bit about what's going on here. So for people who've never seen Return of the Jedi, you've probably stopped listening already.

But just so you know, there's this foresty, planet-y thing, it turns out it's a moon, that has this shield generator, this building on it that's creating a shield that's protecting the Death Star above that's being built. So a crack team has to land on this foresty moon and blow up this generator of the shield so all the ships can attack the space station above. And these little bear-like creatures called the Ewoks live on Endor and they help our heroes in this battle. But anyway, the thing is, it's a really foresty, tree-y place.

It's just lovely hearing you explain something that I've known since I was about four years old Anyway, it turns out this moon, which has the designation IX3244-A It's a moon of endless forests, savannahs, grasslands and mountain ranges And it even has a few oceans, although we never see these Now, it turns out the whole system, the whole system where this happens is called Endor. There are two stars, it has two stars, and it has this huge gas giant planet, which is also called Endor,

and there are nine moons that go around this gas giant. And the ninth one, the biggest one, and the furthest one out, is this tree-covered moon that also seems to just be called Endor. So, and originally there were plans for the planet to be seen in the sky, like, you know, this big gas giant planet to be seen in the sky. But they did away with that when they made the film. So, the planet is called Endor and this moon, funnily enough, also seems to be called Endor. But the Ewoks, the little bear creatures, they actually call the planet, the big gas giant that their forest moon is going around, they call it Tana or Tana. That's what the Ewoks call the planet. But I think like the Empire and the rest of the galaxy call the planet Endor. One of the other moons that goes around this huge

gas planet, I'm talking like this is a real thing, but anyway, one of the other moons that goes around this planet is called Kef Bir. And you will see that in one of the new Star Wars movies. Because, you know, in one of the new Star Wars movies, they show the destroyed Death Star is like lying in the ocean and it's like sitting in the water. That's apparently another moon where the remnants of the Death Star kind of crashed down and landed. So, that's another one of the moons of Endor. The two suns, the two stars in the system are called Endor Prime 1 and Endor Prime 2. And I was reading, like, interesting facts about Endor, the moon.

And one interesting fact, of course, that is listed on Wikipedia, which is a really cool fact about the planet, of course, it is the planet where Darth Vader's funeral was held because Luke takes, you know, Darth's body down there and burns it on the pyre. So that's a cool fact about Endor. Kind of a little, yeah, a little ceremony there, isn't it? Well, Anakin's, you might say, you might call it Anakin's funeral because he kind of switches back a bit there, doesn't he, at the end rather than

darth vader well i'm going with darth vader uh although he burns the mask back on again though doesn't he the bus it's the mask you see that's burning i mean i hate to be pedantic but it has uh endor the moon has a rotation period of 18 hours so a day lasts 18 hours on endor and a year uh lasts 402 standard days that's how long it takes the moon to go around its gas giant so very close to one of our own years indeed you have a birthday every 402 days its diameter is 4900 kilometers which is more like our moon than the earth which means that it actually has very light gravity and that's not something that's really depicted much in the film it looked very earth-like the gravity to me it almost looked like it was filmed in the californian redwood forest but but endor actually has quite

light gravity so i don't know maybe there's something in star wars that you wear in your shoes that makes gravity the same everywhere you go because Because every planet they go to, the gravity looks quite Earth-like in Star Wars. Somehow the Ewoks have got the same magnetic force in their shoes. Maybe Ewoks are very dense. I don't know. But speaking of Ewoks, apparently there are seven and a half billion Ewoks on Endor. What? Which is pretty similar to the number of humans on Earth.

And considering how much smaller Endor is, that place is teeming with Ewoks. That's ridiculous. That's too many Ewoks. I don't believe there's that many Ewoks on Endor. I think some of them have been fiddling the numbers there on the census. Yes. Yeah. The aphorism shouldn't be breed like rabbits. It should be breed like Ewoks.

Apparently they're breeding like rabbits. Is this the episode where we finally discuss the sex life of Ewoks? We've been hitting that one How many babies do you think Ewoks have at a time? Just one at a time? Like are they just pregnant once with a baby or do they lay eggs? Maybe Ewoks lay like a hundred eggs Yeah maybe or maybe they're like gremlins and you just get them wet.

Yes, that's right. Just a rainy day on Endor and suddenly you've got seven and a half billion Ewoks. But here's one last final fact about Endor I thought you might find interesting. Endor is also a place in the Bible. It's a Canaanite city first listed in the book of Joshua, Joshua 17, verse 11. One of the cities the Israelites didn't manage to dispossess, neither the city nor its dependencies. It's located between the hill of Morah and Mount Tabor in the Jezreel Valley. It's mentioned twice more in the Bible in 1 Samuel and also in Psalm 83.

There we go. That's Endor like the city, not Endor the moon. No, indeed. No. I don't imagine it's a forest moon either. No, I imagine not. There we go. Endor.

Told you you'd like Moon of the Week. It was certainly different to the other moons, isn't it? Firstly, it has Ewoks, although we can't prove there aren't Ewoks on the other moons that you've mentioned. No, it's possible. We've only been to one of them, and that's not featured on Moon of the Week. So, strictly speaking, that's not a distinctive. Trees, as well, as far as we know, there are not trees on the others.

Or Princess Leia. No. Or Darth Vader's charred remains. Indeed. No, that's right. Or melted remains, you might say. I mean, I hate to be pedantic, but, you know. Well, no, his suit would have melted, but his body would have charred.

Well, this is true. But his... I hate to be pedantic, Tim, but... But his body would have been in pedantic, Tim, but... But his body would have been in the suit, so you wouldn't see it. It would have melted around him. Yeah, who knows? What's your favourite thing on Endor?

Is it the AT-STs or the speeder bikes? Speeder bikes. I love the speeder bikes. Oh, yeah. Speeder bikes are awesome. I have to say, when my first daughter was born, I had a similar pang to you where I just wanted to go out and buy something. So, firstly, I bought a little toy Ernie to take into her, like a Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street. And then when the next one was born a few years later, I got Bert. But the other thing I went out and bought the next day is I went to Toys R Us in Rundle Mall and saw one of the speeder bikes with Princess Leia on it. And I'm like, if this girl's going to love princesses, it's going to be a cool princess like Princess Leia.

So I bought that and brought that home and put it in her bedroom. Have you still got it? It may be. Oh, jeez. It'd be in amongst some storage in a container somewhere. It's not. I would have put that in like a glass case on the mantelpiece. It was on sort of the top of her bookcase in her bedroom for many, many years. Did she grow up to appreciate Princess Leia?

I think she appreciates Princess Leia. Not in a particular way. Nowhere near as Hermione Granger, for instance. Oh, right. Who captured her imagination far more significantly. But Hermione's not on Endor. So at any stage. And nor has she ever ridden a speeder bike.

No, that we know of. That's right. Until they do that long-awaited Harry Potter Star Wars crossover film. Like they do Superman versus Batman and now they're going to do... Yeah. Hogwalks versus the Death Star. It's just... Storm the castle.

Who do you think would win a fight between the Emperor and Voldemort? Oh, golly, that's a... I'd like to see the Emperor because he's kind of cool and he's been with me for longer and he has the cool lightning thing out of his fingers. The Emperor's not cool anymore because the Emperor got ruined by the prequels. Oh, indeed.

He's a bit of a laughingstock now, if you ask me. Yeah, yeah, he did lose. It was wrong to... No spoilers, but anyway, yes, I kind of agree. No spoilers. Brady haven't carefully explained the plot of Return of the Jedi. All right. All right.

Let's just start at the beginning and clarify this. I still remember my friends saying Return of the Jedi before me and coming home and trying to explain to me what Ewoks were. I had no idea. And like, they were like, you know, I still remember thinking, oh man, I've got to go and see this film. I've got to see the Ewoks. They sound amazing. That was the highlight of all the things. It was the Ewoks.

Well, some of them were younger than two of them. There were three boys and two of them were younger than me. So they were more Ewok, you know, oriented. I mean, the best thing about Return of the Jedi is the first half of the film at Jabba's Palace. With the Sarlacc pit and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, it's awesome.

I always think of that as being like the first 20 minutes, like a really small bit of the film at the start just to get things going. But it's a substantially long time. By the time that's happened. It's half the film, I reckon. It's half the film. Feels like the major part comes next, though. And I do like all that.

I like the conversation. Oh, it's such a good film, Return of the Jedi. I know you're supposed to say that Empire Strikes Back is like the superior film, but Return of the Jedi is the one that really first captured my heart and I really love it. All right. I think it's time for a podcast idea from you.

Oh, indeed. Yes, yes. I thought we were going to wrap up. But. I'm happy to if you'd like to. Well, most people will be with you on that, I think. I'm just looking through for the title. I came up with what I thought was a pretty good, concise title for my idea. And let me just look it up so that I say it correctly rather than just

bumble around talking wasting time like this is just talk amongst yourselves for a second people this idea is called hold your own Tim usually is he's so immature hold your we're each week you face a serious confrontation conversation like with a person who's like an expert in a particular area and you have to try and have you have to try and hold your own in a conversation against them while they fire questions at you let me let me be honest about where the idea came from this right when you're watching law and order or any legal show on tv there's there's like the courtroom

scenes, right? With the judge and all that kind of stuff. But then there's, it usually comes, there's some sort of moment where there's a dispute about a particular piece of law or procedure. And so you get shafted off to another place where you argue before multiple judges. In Australia, it might be because something's elevated to the high court or it goes off to a different court. judges in australia it might be because something's elevated to the high court or it goes off to a different court right and so what you've got two judges arguing about the interpretation of something and they're firing back questions at you like at random there's no sort of order they're just going well hang on a second what about in yeah because normally judges don't ask questions but in something like the supreme court they will ask questions of the of the absolutely they go

what about in brown versus smith then he goes ah but in that case you know the gun was not loaded and he goes oh but that disagrees with and they go back and forward pushing each of them in their arguments and you've got to hold your own obviously as a lawyer which of course they're able to do and i've always thought about what if you just were suddenly inserted into that situation and you had to face five judges and you know argue for a particular you know precedent on a piece of law yeah how if you could hold your own but but this could happen in all sorts of places as well the idea actually came to me when i was sitting in hospital i was sitting in er for something after having had covid the er being or sometimes called the ed the emergency right there was something we thought was a complication from COVID, but it turned out to be nothing. So

that was really great. But being an emergency department, I had to sit there for ages. And I was just talking to the doctor and the doctor was coming back to me. And I was just thinking, how long could I hold my own in a medical conversation with the doctor that, you know, didn't just involve how I'm feeling. So the idea with your podcast is that the person who's trying to hold their own, the person who's sort of having questions fired at them and is trying to maintain their composure and stay on their feet, is the fish out of water. They're not an expert on the topic.

That's right. Do they have to hold their own legitimately? Are they having to draw upon their limited knowledge to maintain conversation? Or can they bluff and lie and pretend they know what they're talking about, but just make stuff up? I think that kind of moves it into a... It probably ends up in that place because there's a bit of comedy involved. But I think for as long as possible, you're kind of really trying to hold your own. So how much do you personally know about this limited topic to be able to have a good...

I had breakfast yesterday morning, and the person I was having breakfast with was, like, an expert on treating cancer with radiation. Like, they're responsible for firing radiation at cancers at a cancer hospital. And obviously, that's a pretty complicated thing, and I imagine they don't get asked a lot of technical questions by amateurs. But because I make periodic videos about chemistry, I actually know quite a lot about radioactive

isotopes and things like that, a lot of stuff that's used in cancer treatment. So, when he said what his job was, I suddenly started asking him all these questions like, what isotopes do you use? What elements? And how are you producing the radiation and i was and then i was asking like quite complicated questions and you know does the radiation come off at all angles how do you shield it and all this sort of stuff and i think the other people at the table were a bit like oh my goodness i don't i wasn't expecting these sort of questions

like so i was able to kind of hold my own for a good two or three minutes before i ran out of knowledge and then i was like okay yep i don't know anything more about your job, but I was able to go quite a distance. Whereas if he did another job that I knew nothing about, I probably would have been, oh, that's nice and moved on. So, that's what you're talking about. Is it like thrown in the deep end and what reservoir of knowledge have you got on that particular subject? How long can you ask good questions and give coherent answers? Well, I was thinking about, I mean, most of the conversations that we have with an expert, like say you meet someone and everyone's an expert in something, you know what I mean?

Whether it's a person who fixes automatic transmissions or it's a person like the scientist or the doctor yourself or medical researcher. If you're sitting at a, find yourself in a dinner party and there's a pilot, you scientist or the doctor yourself or medical researcher if you're sitting at a find yourself in a dinner party and there's a pilot you end up asking the expert lots of questions and they share in layman's terms a bit about their area of expertise that's how a typical conversation goes i'm trying to think about how it would work with the other way around like if suddenly he started firing questions at you and you've got to try and hold your own in conversation with him.

So you sort of shift the dynamics a little bit for, for the sake of interest. I also like the idea of setting it up almost as if it's happening in their context, like for instance, in the courtroom or in a medical situation where like, for instance, let's say I was imagined for a moment i'm not the

patient but i'm a person who's there with the doctor and the doctor suddenly turns to me and says well what do you think's going on with him and i have to like scramble to i think or just hands you the scalpel that's right yes where would you make the incision and but it's funny because you think on the one hand you want to say well i wouldn't know anything about this but of course you can start to use a bit of logic and like with in legal cases you can use a bit of logic it's funny because you think on the one hand you want to say, well, I wouldn't know anything about this. But, of course, you can start to use a bit of logic. Like in legal cases, you can use a bit of logic. It's like, well, hang on a second. That would happen on this case where you'd preference this but not this.

You can kind of hold your own for a little bit. And I think it would be using logic, persuasion, the process of elimination, and just sheer, you know, sort of. Let's say we're making an episode now you're the expert you're you're quite a big expert on theology i guess i hope amongst other things yes yeah i'm not what what's something you would say to me give me like role play it for a minute like we're sitting i've sat down in front of you hey hey tim i'm brady well but what's the context in which we're having a conversation?

I don't know. It's your show. You tell me. All right, we're in the emergency department. No. See, like, give me an idea of the things you'd be throwing at me to hold my own and see if I can hold it at all. I mean, the idea of this show is not, like, hostile.

You're not trying to make a fool of me, are you? You're just trying to prize out how much I know. I like the idea of this show is not, like, hostile. You're not trying to make a fool of me, are you? You're just trying to prize out how much I know. I like the idea of it. You're sort of stepping into the shoes of someone for a little while and having to see how far you can get in their shoes and hold your own a little bit. It's a little bit like, and I'll come back to your example, your role play in a second, but it's a little bit like Catch Me If You Can.

Yeah. You know, where he's able to hold his own in a couple of different fields, imitating for a little while, and I wonder about how you can do that. So an example with you and me could be you would almost be playing the role of maybe a student and I would be you, the role of maybe a student, and I would be you, the professor or the tutor, and you're coming to me with questions. That's a better way of doing it,

because then you're forced to be the expert rather than being under the pump of the expert, in a way. Yeah. How can I help you today, Tim? What do you call the theological idea that God is everywhere? This kind of... I believe you're talking about omnipresence. How can that possibly work? Does that mean he's everywhere, like inside me, as well as in the oceans and everywhere? Well, I think the mistake you're making here, Tim, is the, it's not so much a mistake,

but it's understandable because of our human minds. it's not so much a mistake, but it's understandable because of our human minds. But you're taking the belief that God would be restricted by physical form, having to actually be a place. Of course, God doesn't exist in the physical realm. Also, God is not restricted by time. So it's not like he has to be listening to so-and-so at 11 a.m. and then has to be able to listen to this prayer at 12 p.m later he can be everywhere and at every time without being restricted by what we would just call normal physics i think i think

you know where i'm coming from is that now let's pray is um so he's beyond like they say space and time how is it possible can is it possible to be outside of time that doesn't say that feels like back to the future like how do you be how can you be in different parts of time i mean if i could answer that and explain it to you and you could understand it i mean we would be gods i mean we're this is this is this is what separates god from from us as humans i mean, our brains are not physically capable of this thought. It's like you're trying to play a 500 gigabyte video game on a computer that can only have 30 megabytes. We're not capable of understanding that.

And I don't think we have to understand it. I don't think it's necessary to understand that it's just something we believe we can see signs of do you have to do you have to know how he does it i don't have to know but i've if if this god exists then he or she has given me an inquiring mind and my mind just happened to inquire upon that question. Yeah, but just because God gave you an inquiring mind doesn't mean he has to give you all the answers. No, indeed.

But it means that I'm not asking him to give all the answers. I'm asking you and you're coming up short. I don't have the answers either. I don't have the answers either. And I'm sure God doesn't mind you asking the question. But I think, unfortunately, he hasn't given you the tools to understand the answer. Can I come back to your podcast idea? I don't think this is fair because you don't know the answers to these questions either.

It's not like you know the answers and you're like exposing my lack of knowledge about how god could possibly be omnipresent so like you're just like you're just i think you're just trying to find out the answers yourself this is coming from someone that used a fictional moon for moon of the week what are you talking about like i think i think i thought you would be more like, you'd be asking me more like, I don't know, who wrote the Bible? Like, you know.

No, no, no, no. That's fair enough. I just got interested in the line that we went on, so I kept asking that. You're right. They shouldn't be speculative questions. No. They should be, it should be a conversation where the person, I mean, it could be speculative questions. No. It should be a conversation where the person...

I mean, it could be speculative, but not in relation to things that people don't know. So you could be following a logical flow of where the law could apply or something. I've come to the conclusion that your idea, as you've presented it, is quite flawed and not a good idea for a podcast. What? But it flawed and not a good idea for a podcast. What?

But it's close to a good idea for a podcast. I think a better way to do this and a fairer way to do it and a more interesting way to do it would be to have the expert asking questions of the layman, the person trying to hold their own, but not exposing their lack of knowledge or testing them more just trying to get a better understanding of how little or how much this person knows about their world like a bit more a bit less adversarial a bit more yes hi hi tim i'm a i'm brady i know more about space than you uh but i want to i want to know what you know do you know why the planets go around the sun in a circle like why they don't just fall

into the sun like shouldn't they just be sucked towards the sun by gravity and just fall in and burn up and yet they go around in a circle yet they're attracted to the sun do you understand why that happens because that seems quite an odd thing that happened why do you think it happens that's a good idea that's a good idea that's a good premise and i don't want to make a fool of you i just want to i just want to see if it's something you've even thought about and now that you are thinking about it what questions like what are your so the questions dabble into quite obviously something you know a little bit about and then it tries to push to the edge of your knowledge and go a little bit beyond it to see if you can speculate i like that that's what that's kind of where where my

idea started with when i was thinking about the law you're obviously familiar that the law exists and the crime exists and there's a law there but you're trying to take it to the edge of where it's not been applied before and and and see how it should be so yeah that's a that's a much better way of explaining how this idea would work because it could also be an eye-opener for the expert too like oh yeah i didn't i never because sometimes the layman will say something to the expert and they'll be like oh yeah i'd never realized that is kind of confusing isn't it that is a weird thing about my my profession or my area of expertise do you do you give greater credence and have greater respect for an you you meet different experts because obviously part of the premise of your vocation is interviewing people about you know things that are that provide more knowledge and in understandable ways.

Do you give a lot more credence to an expert who's able to condescend in the best sense, who's able to explain things in really understandable ways? Those people, basically, you're talking about people who are good at explaining their work to, you know, in an understandable way. those people are obviously very valuable to me because because they they help me do my job i i i enjoy those people they make my job easier but it's just a particular skill and and a lot of the absolute cutting edge best mathematicians and scientists are not always the best at explaining quite often they're not quite often they Quite often they're not. Quite often they're not very good with people

and it takes someone else to explain their work and the brilliance of their work because they're not good explainers. So I think it's just a skill that some experts have and some don't and it doesn't make them better at their core job. It's just a bonus if they have it. Some of the best science explainers, like some of the people who become really famous, like, you know, your Carl Sagan's and Neil deGrasse Tyson's

and Brian Cox's and people like that, aren't particularly accomplished or scientists. They haven't, like, won Nobel Prizes and made... They're good scientists and they've done their things, but aren't people who aren't leaders of their field. They just happen to be ones who have a gift for communicating what people in their field do. Occasionally, you get someone like Richard Feynman,

who is probably one of the best science explainers in history, who was, he's dead now, and also was a Nobel Prize winning incredible scientist who made breakthroughs. But those people are very rare, very rare to have someone who is a leader at both. It's interesting how we put them together sometimes. Like in academia, because a lot of research happens in colleges

and colleges are places of teaching. So to some degree, many people who are involved in research are either currently or at some stage involved in teaching. So we sort of link them together. This person knows how to teach other people how to do something that they themselves are exploring. It's not where all research happens, obviously, but we do associate. That's true of science as well. But it's a well-known fact that quite often the best researchers are poor lecturers. Yeah.

No, absolutely. And are bad with the students. And students will often say that, but they still love to go to those universities because they can say, I was taught by, you know, so-and-so, the Nobel Prize winner. But they weren't a particularly good teacher quite often. Hold your own. Well done, man. I think you held your own engaging with my podcast idea here. So well done.

Thank you. You should co-host some sort of podcast about podcasts. I know before we came to record today, your daughters were going to give you two secret words. I'm sure you've already dropped them in the show. Yes. No, of course. They're in there.

Blah! I forgot.