The Unmade Podcast - 124: Do Kangaroos Go To Heaven?

Episode Date: February 22, 2023

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Well, good morning. Good morning. Good evening for me. Yes. We're in the opposite. Most people probably don't know that. Normally it's evening for me and morning for you. And today we're doing it the other way around, as we sometimes do.

Yeah. Well, we're uncontrollable wild men. We're crazy. Hazy crazy. You never know what time of day we're going to record. You're looking sporty, though. You've come back from tennis or something, have you? Yes.

It's men's night at the tennis club tonight, so I've been playing tennis for the last 90 minutes. But people don't want to hear about that, although I would happily tell them. I know you would. Yeah, but let's get on with that. Let's get on with some parish notices. I was reading a message on the Reddit from LM285 who said, what a great podcast.

This was talking about a previous episode that I think LM285 found amusing. Our podcast, just to clarify. Yeah, apparently so. Fair enough. And apparently LM285 was listening on their run and said, everyone I ran past on my run thinks I'm very odd for the noises I make And this makes me want to throw out the question to the civilians Have you ever made an unusual noise while listening to the Unmade podcast?

A giggle, a little, a titter Groan A groan That laugh that happens in the middle of a drink in movies A little, a little, a titter. Groan. Groan. That laugh that happens in the middle of a drink in movies, you know, when people spit their drink across the table. Yeah, spit take, spit take. If you have ever made an unusual noise while listening to the Unmade podcast, we would love to hear from you. Tell us about it. Better yet, do a re-recording of the noise you made while listening.

What noise do you make while listening to the podcast? Email it to us at unmadefm at gmail.com. We want to hear the noises you make while listening. Maybe we'll share them if we think they're appropriate. Snoring, perhaps, could be in there. Snorting. You know, some people snort when they laugh. We've got a snorter here.

Snorter. Yeah. Send us your unmade podcast noises. Another very interesting message here. I found a photo of Tim in a house library. This was in New South Wales. And I shouted out like a crazy man. My friends thought I was having a conniption.

A conniption is a new word to me, by the way. I'd never heard of that word. It means like a tantrum, apparently. Oh. I've been sent a picture of the picture. Is this the great man himself, third from right? What? So, Tim, I want to send you a picture. Is this the great man himself, third from right? What? So, Tim, I want to send you a picture. So, Tim, this

photograph, which was hanging in a library in New South Wales, Cameron spotted it and went crazy because he thought it was you. Is that you, third from right? Yes, it is. Yes. Hanging in a library. What? What a classic. I asked for more information. This is hanging in a library in Laura in the Blue Mountains Yes It's a library owned by Beth and Greg Hammond

Called the Brackenbrae Library Apparently it's mostly god books He says Some kind of religious library perhaps Ah Yes this is like a private library Like in a person's home Or a retreat centre kind of place that they lease out.

Yes. Yes. I know everyone in this group. This is like these are all the state directors of something called Arrow Leadership Australia, which is like a leadership program that people engage in. Yeah, all right. There you go.

Tim with his quiver full of arrows. Yeah. Jesus, I'm looking overly serious in that photo. I don't know. You are, you are. We've obviously been throwing around some heavy leadership theory that day and it's weighted on my mind. It's pretty impressive though.

I saw this picture on the wall and went, hang on, is that Tim from the Unmade podcast? Oh, indeed, yeah. I've got some good friends in that photo. Who knows when you're going to find a picture of Tim hanging on the wall of a library. You never can tell. I've seen people send me pictures of oil paintings, obviously, that decorate libraries all over the world. But I've never seen a hand snap like this one.

I understand you had a bit of an interaction recently as well. Yes, we had another Unmade civilian arrive at church on Sunday. At your church? Yeah, yeah. They pop in from time to time to say hello. And generally being a new face, I go up to people and welcome them and, you know, sort of say, what's brought you here? And then they tend to look a little bit, like, sheepish.

Like, they go, oh, the Unmade podcast. And then I go, welcome, welcome. It's great to see you. So on Sunday we had Luca from Germany. Wow. Who's travelling around Australia and came to Adelaide and came to Malvern Uniting Church. Were you preaching?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, preaching up a storm I was. Oh, yes. So basically he got his own personal podcast with Tim Hine. That's right. Everyone else was listening too, but that's right. Yeah. Yeah.

He ended up spending a couple of nights couch surfing at a member of our community's house who he got chatting to. And they said, look, if you need some accommodation, he's like, brilliant. And went back and spent a couple of nights. So he's still there, I think, today. I think Luca may be moving into the community, which is fantastic. Is it true that he got to meet Mrs. Hine? That's true as well, yes, yes.

And I forgot to – I usually introduce you because normally that's the high point of the visit. You know, I sort of chat a while and maybe give a little bit of merch or something, and then the climax of the visit is, and sort of chat a while and maybe give some little bit of merch or something and uh and then the climax of the visit is and here's mrs hein but this time she introduced herself she came over you know hello i'm dawn who are you oh yes i'm on the podcast she thinks it's her podcast that's's right. There are selfies all around. It's very funny. I love it.

I did hear a whisper that he was heading down to, with his companion, down to the Fleurau Peninsula today. So it could be that he was going to Tim and Brady Cave at The Bump. I don't know that for sure. But, yes, that would be another key spot to visit on any unmade tour of adelaide did you reveal the coordinates and you know turn left at the second stone and all that sort of stuff no no i heard this after the fact i just heard this from the person who's uh whose house he's crashed at

and they said i was going to fluoro and i just thought in my mind i know where he's going yes there's nothing to see down there except the search for Tim and Brady Cave. I like that you've lived in South Australia for all these years and you still can't pronounce flu-rio. Flu-rio. How do you say it? Flu-rio. Flu-rio. Flu-rio.

What did I say? It's not flu-ro. It's not like a flu-ro pen. I got flu-ro lights. It's like a highlighter. The ones we replace with LEDs. Yeah, that's right. Flu-ro, like the colour of the suntan lotion. You know that zinc cream we used to put on that bright pink stuff?

Well, there you go, people. If you're ever in Adelaide, Malvern Uniting Church is the place to go. Were you disappointed? Were you thinking, oh, here's a soul I can save? And it's like, oh, he just wants a bit of unmade merch. Yes. I saw him during the church service. I was like, oh, there's a new face. save. And it's like, oh, he just wants a bit of unmade merch. Yes. I saw him during the church service. I was like, oh, there's a new face.

I'll have to say g'day to him. And, you know, I wonder what his story is and if he's engaging in the church community. And it's like, ah, unmade. I understand. Which means it's, you know, hello and goodbye. Off to Germany. Yeah.

Via the Flurio Peninsula. Not if you gave the sermon of the century. He's like, oh, I came here for the merch but that's your chance man that's your chance that's right yeah it's funny when i get talking to people and i say oh so what do you do and so forth and they they say you can sort of get a sense of of um their loyalty so if it's sort of it's like um you know i'm studying science and i i sort of go oh you're more of a brady guy and they sort of go yeah i get a lot of brady guys coming to see me that's for sure what if what's the giveaway that they're a tim guy uh i don't know they're wearing a Radiohead t-shirt Or they're They're dressed like, maybe they're Nick Cave

Would you be disappointed if Nick Cave came to your church And like said, sorry I'm more of a Brady guy More of a Brady guy I think that would sum up That's the story of my life right there. That would be fantastic. So in a recent episode, Tim pitched the idea of movie theatres, movie theatres from our life, our favourite movie theatres

and things like that. And can I say, this struck more of a chord with the listenership than I thought it would. And we had lots and lots of messages and Reddit comments and emails. And I want to thank everyone who sent them in. I can't possibly read them all out because there were too many of them. But this was really something that people wanted to talk about. A rare Tim idea that resonated with the public. Well, it did. It resonated, all right. Let me read a couple of messages.

Shex 13 said, in my hometown of Valley Stream, New York, there's an old abandoned movie theatre that was vacant for years. As a teenager, my friends and I would explore inside. It was so old, the aisle seats had candle holders in the armrests.

The inside was covered in bird poop as there were holes in the roof. We used to get all the way up into the projector room and check it out. I took a reel of intermission film one time as a souvenir. I never knew the history of the place, but just now I looked it up and it turns out Metallica played there in 1984. Dang. I love the idea of playing in an old abandoned movie theater that sounds awesome

yeah that is cool i have i don't think it's going anymore but there was a a twitter account that i followed which was kind of like abandoned places and i had some wonderful images of movie theaters or it's almost like the last films finished they've walked out closed the door and it's exactly as it was except for the weeds growing up through the floor and uh you know the dust and there's some beautiful images of places like that had a message here from some jeff who says when we were kids the local scarborough theater had a really old ticket ripper guy named james he'd been ripping tickets for over 50 years our parents would joke that he was standing there when they built the theatre

At some point the company let him go and we were in awe But he quickly popped up at a competitor front and centre Here's a quote from the Toronto Star The 83-year-old who died Sunday in his sleep from heart failure Was a fixture at Toronto movie theatres for 55 years Where he worked primarily as a ticket taker to put his career in some perspective James Loader ripped tickets at every single Star Wars movie ever that's fantastic that that that's all that's wonderful you become an institution how fantastic

is that just ripping tickets just taking the tickets and ripping them. Yeah. What a job to do for 55 years. For 55. Amazing. I imagine he got to see a film every now and then too, though. That's a pretty cool thing. Maybe a film a day.

It's a wonderful thing, these people that serve or work in, you associate them with one building. You know, they've got their little store. There's a guy in the city here who's a hairdresser, he's been a hairdresser you would probably know of him frank's in just off rundle street and he's been there in the same hairdresser for 50 years something ridiculous working every day and saturday mornings and so forth and his haircuts were still you know 25 and um he's been there all that time in that one little room. It's just, it's quite incredible.

Amazing. One last letter I'd like to read, Tim, was quite a touching one. This comes from Cameron in Melbourne. As you know, in a few recent episodes, Tim and I have discussed the television program, Sale of the Century. This is a quiz show in Australia, very much part of our childhood. And we were talking about legendary characters who were on it.

Kerry, the great champion, Virginia, another champion, whose son, I believe, is a listener to the podcast. Cameron in Melbourne wrote this message. Hi, Tim and Brady. Hearing your discussion about Sale of the Century a few episodes back brought a tear to my eye, and I'll tell you why. My father lost his battle with cancer late last year at the age of 64, and he was on sale of the century as a young man in his 20s.

He had just begun his PhD and was very intelligent. He swept through the first night winning easily and was called back to film a second episode. He was ahead the whole time, and coming up to the very last round was 20 up on his closest opponent apparently his opponent got 25 off the board and ended up winning that night by five dollars that's just one question inside of the century yeah the real kicker was that this was the one night that month that a car a pricey bmw was being given to the winner that night

instead my father won a small outdoor chair set, including four plastic chairs with a green cover and a small white table. We have kept this set in good condition, and to this day it lives in my mother's house and serves as a sort of memory of my late father. Sorry for the long and late reply, but this one really meant something to me, and I'm glad you've given me an opportunity to tell the story. I love the podcast, and I'm always

looking forward to the next episode. Cheers from Cameron in Melbourne. Ah, that's fantastic. Love it. That's marvellous. I love the idea of having something in the house and saying, you know where we got this? I want it on sale of the century. That's a fantastic thing to be able to say. And if you'd won the car you that car would have been gone by now that's true yeah chairs and table that's what you want that's going to last a lifetime that's right that's right oh that's fantastic well done thanks cameron thanks for telling us that story about your dad i love the idea that that it's either

elise platt or delvin delaney uh or jo or Joe Bailey who stood in front of that table and chairs at one stage and waved their arm and, you know. Sparky. Sparky. Sparky. That's magic. Ideas for a podcast. Tim, have you got an idea for a podcast?

I do have an idea. This is inspired a little bit by our recent holiday now we're back at work it feels a while ago but we on our holiday went on a road trip a car trip and we listened to some podcasts on the car trip and a lot of people say they love a long car trip because they listen to podcasts but i actually think there's a podcast idea about long car trips. Yeah. It's a podcast about, I mean, it could be called Road Trip or Are We There Yet?

The most commonly used phrase in a car trip. It's a podcast about and for long car trips, which I think turn the car into sort of a mini universe, a world in its own, where you share a very close space over a long period of time. How does one of these podcast episodes work? If I was to put one on, like, what would I hear? And how long is an episode? And, like, is it just people talking about car trips or is it sort of like a – does it have utility? Is it for use on the car trip?

Its utility is that you listen to it but i actually think there's a whole a couple of ideas that come to mind one is the first one is that people tell stories about car trips particularly when they were perhaps younger and the reason i say younger is when you're a kid on a car trip it feels like forever like it's just forever and you tell stories and anecdotes of things that happened but then i think there are spin-off ideas as well discussions about um well road movies there's a whole genre of movies of you know on the road and planes trains and automobiles and and um even blues brothers and when harry met so you know there's a million road movies which is a whole sub-genre as well thelelma and Louise, of course.

Very famously, yes, that one in particular. So I think that's a whole kind of genre. In fact, people perhaps as a feature on the podcast, people could say what their favourite road movie is while they're telling anecdotes about their road movie story. Sorry, their road trip story, the thing that happened to them. There's lots of little quirky details in these it feels like families fly everywhere at the moment putting covet aside when i was a kid no one flew like rich people flew like elton john flew to australia and the

prime minister flew in a plane everyone else spent 8 12 hours in a car. That was just the reality of it. Don't you agree? Oh, completely. It's funny. You know how, like, from your early childhood, you probably have 20 or 30 pretty solid memories, like memorable things that happened, stories that you could retell and things that have stuck in your head from when you were a kid.

And I reckon of that 20 or 30, maybe 10 of them i'm sitting in the back seat of the car yeah yeah these seminal moments in my life i'm looking at the side of my mum's face in the passenger seat or the side of my dad's head like like there are these moments and they some of them are to do with the trip itself and being in the car but other ones are just moments in life things that happened in life memorable learning experiences and i just happened to be in the back seat of a car when it happened and like and that's that's that's where i'm positioned i've told i think i've told this story before but and it

happened in a car we were driving across australia like you did because every holiday you did was driving driving those same few roads across outback South Australia. Yeah. And we were going past all these big lorries, semi-trailers. And my dad was looking at them all. And every time one went past, he would comment on it. Oh, that's a nice one. I like that one.

I like that make of lorry. I like how shiny it is. And he was just kind of fantasizing about being a lorry driver out loud as all these lorries went past. I'm fantasizing about being a lorry driver out loud as all these lorries went past. And then my mum got a piece of paper, a scrap of paper, and wrote on it and passed it to me in the back seat. And I read it and it said, why don't you get your dad a book with pictures of lorries and trucks for his birthday? Because the birthday was coming up. And like, that was a real seminal moment for me because it was the it was it was learning that when someone expresses an interest in something you pay attention to it and save that information for later yeah to buy them a present and when you're a kid that's kind

of a that's a moment isn't it where you figure that out oh okay so and so likes this solve um so that was a learning moment for me but it happened in a car and i still remember where i was sitting and mum writing it and passing it to me in the back seat and like looking at dad and keeping it a secret it was a secret between me and mum to keep from dad and stuff like that and like it happened in a car like and there and i could probably use three or four other learning moments like that in my life that were that were in the back of a car yeah yeah my wife had an interesting perspective on this when we were having choosing where to live and driving around knowing we're having kids because the default thinking is to

try and live in a way that minimizes time in the car you want don't want to be stuck in traffic you don't want to be driving everywhere all the time driving from here to there like mum's taxi and my wife suddenly pointed out she goes but that's where all the good parenting happens like it's what sitting together driving along is when suddenly a child debriefs their day or talks about an issue so being you know alone in the car driving along is actually it's like special time with mum or dad to ask questions and to talk and she says you actually want to yeah in one perspective you want to maximize that time because that's when stuff comes out that won't come out in the Russian busyness of, you know, home when everyone's around. And I thought that's a genius perspective, isn't it?

Yeah, that's true. You're shooting fish in a barrel, aren't you? Because you've got their undivided attention. That's such a great insight. Yeah. So many great memories sitting in a car. And, like, lovely memories, too. Yeah, so many great memories sitting in a car.

And like lovely memories too. Like I had an auntie and uncle who lived up in the Adelaide Hills and we would go to their house sometimes for, you know, family evenings. And we would drive back. And that was a long drive when you were a little kid, driving from the Adelaide Hills back down to the plains. And it was always at night and there were like views of the city, which I would never see because I lived in the city. So seeing the view of Adelaide from the hills was amazing but it was always late and you'd fall

asleep in the car on the way home and then you'd pull up at home and you'd pretend to be asleep because you knew if you pretend to be asleep dad would carry you to bed which was the best thing ever and i remember so many times dad saying oh brady's asleep i'll carry him in and my mom's going he's not asleep i can see his eyes moving get him up and dad's like nah he's asleep, I'll carry him in. And my mum's going, he's not asleep. I can see his eyes moving. Get him up. And dad's like, nah, he's asleep. Let's carry him. And I'm like, obviously awake. Pretending to be asleep because I want dad to carry me. Snoring really loudly.

Fake snoring. Yeah. I'll tell you, I had a certain perspective. Because I was an only child, so I had the whole backseat to myself. So I would lay down horizontally with my feet. Luxury. I know. I know know it was like a first class i got all my first class travel in in the first 10 years of my life and yeah what but

what would happen as we drove along at night time on a long trip the the it's a really interesting pattern on the roof and the back seat you're driving along so you're looking at the roof so you're looking at nothing really you're just looking at nothing, really. You're just looking at the canvas roof in this car. But then as you are going past light posts, the light of a light post is arriving and then being intense and then moving past the different parts of the window and then passing. And then there's another one. So it's like this little pattern of a sequence of like a little light show that's in a rhythm the whole time and it does because there are different windows and parts of the back of the car i don't know if i'm explaining this well it's like a the lights move around in a funny sequence all the

time like there's shadow basically like shadow big shadows falling in different patterns and ways that one goes that one goes that one and that one sweeps past. That one goes, that one goes, that one, and that one sweeps past. Great podcast material here. I was doing a lot of hand movements there in case people didn't notice. I'll tell you what I remember about driving in the backseat of the car as a kid at night time and being amazed by this. And that was the way that the moon on the horizon followed our car as we drove along. Because you know how it appears that the moon's, you know, because the moon's far away, it looks like it's moving along with your car.

And then when we would stop at traffic lights, the moon would stop and then we'd start again and the moon would start following us again. And I was amazed that the moon knew to start and stop moving through the sky as our car like a spotlight it was incredible it was incredible were you on long trips are you a pillow or no pillow person do you know what i can't remember i can't even remember you don't remember being given the option do you want to bring your pillow in the car or not? No. The thing I remember, and this is another, you know, classic of kids in the backseat, and that was,

you know how you divide the backseat in half, right? Like, this is my half. Well, you probably do know this because you've got two girls. Yes. I had my sister. I had my sister and me in the backseat, and you get very territorial. Your stuff mustn't encroach onto my half of the back seat but the thing that made it interesting was our car had like split seats at the back a hatchback car so the seats could split and fall down but the split wasn't

in the exact middle the split was kind of a little bit off scent off-centered which most cars that have split seat backs are a bit off-centred that way. So, the natural seam and split down the back of the chair with me and my sister was advantageous to one person. One person would have more than the other. Right. And I always had the bigger chunk. Yes. Because I was older. So, my sister would have this smaller area that she had to contain herself

within and still I would encroach onto her side but but uh yeah did you always on the same side on trips you had your side like that was always your side yeah I can't remember which side it was but I remember we had sides and you you can read in the car on long trips you're a reader you know some people yeah I've never yeah I can read and do car on long trips you're a reader you know some people yeah i've never yeah i can read and do things like that yeah never had problems with that it's one of my favorite places to read on a trip or certainly on a bus and stuff but we're talking about a car road trip even still i hope you're not driving no no yes that's right so tim something i did want to ask you about because i know you went on this recent road trip across Australia with the family.

And you did divulge to me in a message that you had another unfortunate but almost quintessential Australian experience. Oh, yes. And that is at certain times of the day and night, kangaroos are known to jump across the road at bad times. They're idiots, basically. And you had a kangaroo encounter? Oh, yes. See, kangaroos don't follow the the law that we all learn as kids and that is you look to the right look to the left

and look to the right again and then cross the road they just bound out and particularly at dusk when you're going across certain parts uh they can suddenly come out of nowhere and sure enough even though we're driving along and every and every time we say oh it's that time of day watch out for the kangaroos we hit a kangaroo yeah talk me through what happened i've never i've never actually had the experience i know many people who've had the experience but i never have what what you're driving along at x kilometers per hour what do you see what happens what does it sound like what happened i wasn't i wasn't going at full speed because it was a slightly curvy kind of road.

So I'd pull back and because it's kind of dusk as well. So we're driving along. Often a lot of times a kangaroo can just run into the side of you. Like they're just crossing the road at full speed. But that didn't, so you've got to really watch out for that. But this one, the kangaroo was sort of running alongside the road. So we were sort of pulling up and slowing down a little bit because we were catching up to it. And it's sort of, oh, wow, wow look at that it's going alongside the road and i actually had the thought

he could cross over at any time or he could veer onto the road and sure enough he veered onto the road and um and suddenly and so we hit it so you kind of rear-ended him in a bit in a way we hit him sideways so it's like he suddenly did a sharp right in front of the car and we hit him on the side yeah the very nose of the car what happened to the car and what happened to the well it was all it was an awful bang because the you know kangaroos are decent size then suddenly we've got a vw so the big round vw badge just suddenly shot like a discus over the windscreen um so that's where he hit us right on the nose and um and so of course we stopped and uh almost immediately and and and and hit you know drove around him or you know you sort of negotiate your way to a stop and you realize oh gosh he's

there trying to think he must have hit us and gone past us we didn't go over him um but we certainly it gave you a shock and you go oh dear oh dear and immediately one of my daughters burst into tears in the back realizing what had happened because we're all focused on the kangaroo we're all going oh look at this beautiful big kangaroo and then suddenly it was like oh dear we we we did a u-turn and went back and pulled over and i jumped out to check whether it was alive um and went and one of my other daughters the other daughter jumped out as well and she was quite curious about the whole thing so one of them's very upset and tears in the car and the other one's just like oh god have a look at this this is interesting and so we went back and he was

he or she i think she was clearly dead, sadly. But was in the middle of the road. So then had to grab it by the tail and drag it off the road. Oh, no. So that's not a very pleasant thing to do. Was Brooklyn, your dog, in the car? He was, yeah. He was going nuts barking, yeah.

Right. Yeah, he was very. So he had to be calmed down. So one kid crying, the dog going crazy, you know, it was one of those sort of tight situations and not very pleasant. You feel, I mean, it's a roo, so you feel. It's an icon, Australian icon. Skippy.

So, yeah, it's an awful feeling. It's an awful feeling to kill an animal like that. So we pulled it off the road and then and then uh went okay well there we go and i went back and and opened the door and comforted my other daughter who was in tears and explained you know these things happened and and that he had died instantly he wouldn't even have known what happened um and then and then we stopped and she didn't want to see um him him or her she didn't want to see the kangaroo um but we we stopped and we said a little prayer for the kangaroo which was a nice thing to do as well what did you say what did you pray

we pray well we thank god for the animals we thank god for all these animals and for this one in particular and for the life that it lived and now his life is over and that this animal will be with god and that's um the end of his life here. And that's it. And we thank the Lord that it wasn't painful as well. And said amen. And she was a bit comforted. I tell you what, we drove pretty darn slowly the rest of the trip.

And we did see other kangaroos in the dusk. And we crawled along on the way home. Is it your teaching or belief that animals go to heaven? I don't know about animals. I believe there are animals in heaven. I believe the new heavens and new earth, you know, that God's creating contains animals. I don't know if they're the same animals because I don't know if they have the same level of consciousness and a soul in the way that we do. I don't really know.

I do believe people do, but I don't know about animals. But I believe there are animals there, but I don't know if they're the same animals. So i don't really know i do believe people do but i don't know about animals but i believe there are animals there but i don't know if they're the same animals so so i don't know and scripture doesn't really say much about it it does say that god knows the animals and loves the animals and if god is the creator of all things then he created a massive diversity over them over a massive amount of time and that's a a wonderful thing you know a deliberate and beautiful thing um if that's the story you hold to they're not an accident or a byproduct or just meat there's something purposeful there and that's a pretty wonderful way to look at the world so that's what we prayed here there are many road trip questions and things i'd like to

discuss favorite games on a road trip, obviously, is, you know, the old I Spy and that sort of stuff. Oh, yeah. Do you guys have a go-to game? We do. It's I Spy. And I've got to be honest, I'm pretty over it. I'm pretty done.

I feel like it's the game of last resort, you know. And, yeah, look, I'm pretty done with I Spy. I mean, I love the people and I love playing, but we've got to think of some other games. We've got to Google a few other games and get some advice. I feel like I'm running out of animals on old McDonald's farm that can go moo-moo here and moo-moo there. Yeah, yeah.

Well, there's only so many animals that can go moo moo here and moo moo there man have you tried other noises perhaps that might open up the horizon of other possibilities we're coming up with all sorts of things just so we can make different noises old mcdonald had a farm and on that farm he had a fax machine so we can do some different noises. He had an early internet collection. Nice one, man. Road trips. I like it. Good idea.

Tim, this episode has been supported by Hover. Oh, brilliant. Fantastic. Domain registrar Hover. Go to hover.com slash unmade check out their easy interface how easy it is to buy all your domains your dot coms and your dot nets and all the dots you could possibly want you can control them you can attach them to your website you can divert them to other things not only have hover got great prices it's just really easy to use, really simple. I got an email unsolicited from Michael H. just recently who said,

Hi, Tim and Brady. I just wanted to share my recent experience with Hover. You two are always telling of its greatness, and I finally had reason to concur. I was laying in bed thinking about an upcoming project when I realised that what I really needed was my own domain name. Within the same thought, I was thinking about you guys and your discount code, but then I couldn't remember the name of the website. So we're obviously not doing that good a job. It was late at night and my mind was

an utter blank. All I could remember at first was timhine.ninja. After a short pause, Hover sprang to mind and I let out a physical sigh of relief in the knowledge that my domain uncertainty was over. Oh, that's fantastic. And by the way, if you go to timhine.ninja, which is a domain that Tim has registered with Hover, it currently diverts to our Hover landing page where you can get the discount.

So if you can't remember hover.com slash unmade, go to timhine.ninja and you'll get the same service. Apparently it sticks in the mind more. So if Hover were ever to rebrand, tim.ninja is what they'll come for. That's for sure. timhine.ninja. Timhine. Right. Okay.

That's what they want to call themselves. People, check out Hover. They're a great supporter of the Unmade Podcast, and they're a really good service. I've got a boatload of domains registered with them. I know Tim's got a growing family with them as well. Yes. Domains are something you need in so many walks of life and hover is the best place to buy and manage them hover.com slash unmade 10 off 10 off your first purchase if you go to hover.com slash

unmade now it's time for everybody's favorite segment this week here it is it is Baboon of the Week. Oh, Baboon of the Week. Fantastic. Yes. My favourite segment. Now, Tim. Yes. If ever a baboon is going to go to heaven, it is Jack, the Chakma Baboon.

Let me tell you, there are so many baboons that I could tell you great stories about, but there are a few that equal the story of Jack. There was a railway signalman in South Africa called James Wide. His nickname was James Jumper Wide because he worked on the railways and he was really good at jumping from carriage to carriage. Right. Although I don't know how good he was at jumping from carriage to carriage because he actually had an accident and became a double leg amputee.

was it jumping from carriage to carriage because he actually had an accident and became a double leg amputee so james jumper wide was a was a was a a double leg amputee in the late 1800s in south africa and he bought a pet baboon jack and he trained jack to push his wheelchair but he also trained jack to do his job on the railway, which was a railway signalman in a little booth, a little room next to the railway tracks, pulling levers and changing the points and stuff like that. And he trained his baboon to do the job. No way. And he would just sit in his room and do his hobby, which I think was taxidermy. He was stuffing birds while his baboon was off by the side of the tracks doing all the work, pulling all the levers and changing the signals.

So anyway, apparently one day a passenger going past in the train saw what was happening, saw that there was this baboon that was controlling all the railway lines and complained. So the railway company did this investigation and they went and saw Jack and saw him at work and what was going on and they were so blown away and saw him at work and what was going on and they were so blown away by how good this baboon was at controlling the railway they left him in post and paid him 20 cents a day and gave him a bottle of beer each week and he went on for years and

years doing doing this job wow uh until he until sadly he died of tuberculosis in 1890 and his skull is still on display in a museum in South Africa. The legend of Jack's greatness is not forgotten. But if ever there was a baboon worthy of being Baboon of the Week, it's Jack, the Chakma Baboon from South Africa. Fantastic. What a hero. What a hero.

What a hero, Baboon. Oh, majestic. Apparently as the trains go past, they would toot, like a number of toots, that signal to the signalman what track they want to be on and what needs to be pulled and pushed and that, so that the tracks are lined up the right way. So Jack would just sit there waiting for the train to go past, count the toots from the train, and then pull the right levers

and control the controls to configure the railway correctly for the train to keep going. Did it for a decade. Doing it once is the miracle. Doing it for a decade is like we've been doing it once is amazing. Getting it right once. That's incredible. Well done, Jack. But he wasn't taxidermied. No, he wasn't. Well, no, I don't think so. There's a picture of him. you if you if you google uh jack the baboon you'll see a picture of him along with uh james jumper wide james jumper wide with no legs oh yes oh that's fantastic oh that's wonderful he wasn't replaced

though with another baboon afterwards i mean no. No, I don't believe so. Not that I've read about. Didn't pass on the legacy. No, pass on the baton. No. The baton, yes. Good baboon of the week. Nice choice.

Thank you. I thought you'd like that one. Have you got your guitar? Because it's time to dish out some prizes to our Patreon supporters, our stakeholders. This is always a nice time for a bit of freestyling from Tim. Oh, hang on. Yep. Just did the rock and roll act of smashing the guitar before I played it.

Right. Is that all tuned up? Got it in tune? Yeah, can I just say, I actually performed a U2 song on guitar with a couple of others, the singers in church last week. Yeah. We actually did a bit of an item. Yeah, yeah. Because it was relevant to the sermon I was giving, which was about, you know, we're one, but we're not the same.

So we did the U2 song one and I played it on guitar. Oh, right. You did one, right? Lemon. All the U2 songs. No, you did the song one. That's right no you did the song one that's right song one yeah do you want to give us a few chords okay does that does that sound like one? Can you hear it? It does, yeah. It does?

It does. Is it getting better? Do you feel the same? You're dancing like you're in a nightclub, man, and it's not really a nightclub kind of song. God, someone blame. I was getting into that. One love.

I was actually doing that to encourage you to keep going. One love. I know. Dig yourself deep. Stopping playing while someone's dancing in a funny way is too amusing not to do. There's one need in the night. There's one need in the night One, but we're not the same We get to carry each other

Carry each other on Wow. Have you been having singing lessons? We'll save that as a topic for another episode breadcrumbs all right so here are our winners from our patreon supporters this week that are getting some prizes a spoon an unmade podcast souvenir spoon forged in the fires of a UK spoon manufacturer is going to... Is going to...

Give us some music to build up to it, Tim. Yeah, I'm playing. All right. It's going to Robin W. from Leipzig in Germany. Robin, we're one but not the same. We get to carry each other. Yeah. Well, hang on.

Germany. Isn't Germany the home of Zoo Station? In fact the song One Was written in Germany That's very very true It was written at What's the name of the studio? Hansa Studios

Very famous studios Which I know you've been to and bragged about before I know, I've played a guitar in Hansa Studios Well I've held a guitar And rubbed my fingers across the strings. That's pretty much what I do. So, a SofaShop mixtape is going to another of our supporters. It's going to John E. from Richmond, Kentucky.

Nice. Congratulations, John E. Richmond, Kentucky. Nice. Congratulations, John E. And some Spoon of the Week collector cards. Remember Spoon of the Week, that old segment? Some Spoon of the Week collector cards.

Going to Ryan H. from Georgia. Ryan H. We're one but not the same. Irene K. from Vienna in Austria. How glamorous does Vienna sound no matter when you say it? You know what I mean? Where are you from? I'm from Vienna. It sounds like it's

poetry and a song lyric but it's... Sounds like a nice biscuit. I'm from Vienna. Yeah. And we have last but not least, we're going to send some cards to Jonathan G in California. Sunny California. Jonathan G in California.

He's no doubt got a great tan. Everyone in California has a great tan, doesn't he? He's no doubt a really good looking guy with a great tan, doesn't he? He's no doubt a really good-looking guy with a great tan. Yeah. With a high-tech start-up that's going to sell for $3 million next year. That's right. And he's selling it while he's rollerblading down the edge of the beach with his shirt off.

Yeah. Because that's what everything in California is like. Jonathan G is just living the dream, living the life. And now he's got some Spoon of the Week collector cards as well. Oh, it's all fine. He was hitting the bum with the rainbow when he was bored, wasn't he? I mean, really. It was all funny.

He's off to Vienna next. Off to Vienna. The idea I would like to pitch for a podcast is I'm basically just stealing and building on an idea that came up the last episode when our guest Christopher Robinson talked about a lame superpower and he suggested the lame superpower of being able to make your hair grow really quickly on demand. You could just say, I want really long hair right now, or you could make your hair shrink back in.

Control over hair length was a superpower he suggested, which I said was really lame. And I think there is much fun to be had with a podcast talking about lame superheroes. What are the worst, lamest superhero powers you can come up with? And how would you use them? Like, what would life be like with them? Are they as lame as you think?

So I've come up with some superheroes. Tim, I hope you maybe have come up with a few superheroes. And I also invited our Patreon supporters to submit some lame superheroes. So I thought we might just go through some of them and see what we think. Yes. Nice. I like this idea. I like it a lot.

Can I give you a few to start? Get the ball rolling, please. I like the idea of a superhero called the jukebox and the jukebox of superhero. I love it already. Is he knows the words to every song ever straight away and can sing it. That's fantastic. Oh my God god it's the jukebox just name a song and he sings it that's awesome i know it already nice i love it i love it you'd you'd love him as a superhero surely oh yeah yeah thank god the jukebox is here i'd always be in competition with him, you know what I mean? Can I remember first?

But yeah. No one can defeat the jukebox. Really good at karaoke. What about a superhero called the remote controller who can change the channel of any TV anywhere in the world just with the power of his mind? Oh, I do love that idea. I've just gone on Amazon.

You know, a couple of years after you've bought a new TV and you go looking, hoping desperately that the model for your TV's remote control is still available out there somewhere. And I've just done that and I've got it coming from, I don't know, across the world somewhere to replace it. Not a problem. Not a problem if you've got the remote controller at your side. Can you imagine, oh, my God, I can't change this channel.

I've run out of batteries. I haven't got replacements. This is a job for the remote controller at your side can you imagine oh my god i can't change this channel i've run out of batteries i haven't got replacements this is a job for the remote controller stand back kids i'm gonna change this channel because we're forever we're forever sticky taping up the bit where the batteries go because it always slips off so easily after a while did you ever do that and then just when you've got it absolutely, you know, watertight in sticky tape, the battery dies. And so you've got to cut it and peel it all away and it's all gross. Yeah. Yeah.

I like that superpower. I know this name's already been taken, but I want to repurpose it. Iron Man, who just by looking at your clothes can make all the wrinkles go away. Does he do it with his mind or does he do it with you know steam you know how you can just exert steam and steam comes out of his palms he steams your wrinkles iron man or one of his hands squirts out some water and his other hand's really hot. He squirts you with water with one hand and then he just rubs your shirt with his other hand.

So he actually has to do the ironing, but he just does it with his hand. How cool would that be with your fingers getting in around the collar and stuff and around the buttons? Oh, that'd be so handy. Fantastic. Or like this ironing board folds down from his chest. Yes. So he. Or like this ironing board like folds down from his chest. Yes.

So he's actually got the ironing board and then he uses one hand to squirt the water on the shirt on the ironing board and the other hot hand to like wipe the wrinkles out. So he is just like a human ironing board. I used to love going out. We had a few friends who had like a rich modern house and their ironing board wouldn't be dragged out of the laundry. It would be like in a special cupboard on the wall and they would open like a secret door and it would fold down like this. And I thought it was just like the coolest space age house ever

to have something like that. I love that it folds out of his chest. What about a superhero called the Christmas Cracker? And their superpower is they always know the answers to those lame jokes you get in Christmas crackers. Yes, yes. I think there's one of those people at every Christmas dinner, to be honest. That's great. Or they're the person.

Maybe they could be the manufacturer of those. Someone sitting around putting those together They spin their hand really quickly Boom and pump out a bonbon What about a superhero that can just Get 10% off any purchase Anywhere of anything The discounter

We've got that superpower but only for Hover Yeah What superhero have you got? Have you got some lame superheroes there i could i came up with a couple that came to mind the first one is called uh the stair master and the stair master is has i have two thoughts about this the first one is i like the idea that his feet become wheels you know those special trolleys that help you get the fridge down the stairs but he's able to negotiate stairs up and down in a particular way i particularly like that he has a wife who's called the stair mistress and um but you know she's been married before so he's got a

couple of step kids another superhero called the dad joker who can't speak only in dad jokes there's there's a story where there's a this is this is somewhere there's a story in the bible where jesus and his disciples are crossing a river and there's this massive storm and the amazing thing about jesus is not phased everyone's freaking out but he's like asleep in the um in the boat like relaxed and then they wake him up and he just calms the storm so he's like this cool non-anxious presence in the midst of something so i like the idea of a superhero who has the ability to sleep through any disaster that goes on around mr snooze mr snooze captain snooze or maybe i thought about calling him zeds but then

zeds falls asleep at the sight of trouble and and people through anything just sleeps through anything it's like oh there's a person you know like superman there's a lady who's fallen off a building and he's just immediately falling asleep calm calm as anything so those were the two that i came up with but often i think we're attracted to superpowers that compensate for our greatest weakness like what do you think your greatest weakness is that you would like the superpower to overcompensate for yeah yeah no you're right you're right like a super memory or something or um yeah i would like great penmanship i have a i have i love writing with a pen but i'd like great pen the quill this is a job for the quill the quill or calligrapher i just love better oh my god we

need to fill in this certificate and fast this This is it. My hand becomes a pen and I just... His hand is a pen. He just dips it in ink. Just like, wow, that guy's got great penmanship. This is a bit niche, and I don't know if it's an American term. It's certainly a term in the uk and in australia of a scab this is someone who works in the place of people who are on strike oh yes yes a derogatory saying yes yes yes so if so if so if people are striking and and someone's brought in to do their

job and sort of break the strike you call that person a scab and i like the idea of this superhero called the scab and his he can have he can take the ability of any superhero who is currently on strike or unwilling to do their superhero actions so say superman said i'm not helping humans for the next two weeks for some reason because i don't like what you're doing yeah then the scab comes in and he's superman for two weeks like commissioner gordon you know pushes the big red button and the scab runs in i'm sorry batman's on strike but don't worry i'll do everything batman would normally do oh that's fantastic i did kind of wonder i I did riff on a few other names from superhero stories. I liked the idea of a superhero called Peter Parker, who can park in any space, no matter how small.

He'll get your car in there. That's great. And another superhero called Lois Lane, who whenever she's driving anywhere, it doesn't matter. She always picks the right lane. She'll never get stuck in the wrong lane. She's just got a sense for which lane to be in for what's coming up ahead i love that i love that that was funny before you even said it or explained it just the lowest i was right there with your lowest lane that's great can i say it's not about superheroes but i do there is can i ask about um you know i was thinking

about you know han sol you know you know han solo and chewbacca well yes not personally but i know who they are can i i just what what is the you know what is the relationship between them i know that there are sort of universes where superheroes relate to one another and there's superman and super girl and there's sort of family connection sometimes but han solo and chewbacca does chewbacca work for han solo or are they equal partners is it like a 50 50 or is it like i think they're partners have you seen the movie solo that that deals with how they meet and come together oh i have seen that but i've forgotten oh okay okay i consider them to be partners i consider them to be partners but han owns the ship chewy doesn't own the ship so he's like the passenger yeah true he's a bit

of a backseat driver isn't he chewy like everything goes wrong and he's like turn left here you know like it's like i'm on it i'm on it and he does kind of pour the controls in a very token way that makes me think he's not very dexterous. Should he really be flying a ship? Just bashing the dashboard. That's all he's doing, isn't he? Yeah. He's all thumbs.

He's like, I need some more air. Give me some more air. Do you need air in the back, guys? That's all his responsibilities entail. So before coming on air, I put this question to a few of the Patreon supporters, our stakeholders. And yet another reason to support us on Patreon. You get to find out this stuff early and help us out. Tyler Q suggested a hero called Mr Basic who can reliably determine the acidity of anything just by tasting it.

I thought a better name for that superhero would be Litmus. Oh, yes. Mr Basic. Sorry, we're getting a bit sciencey here, Tim. Sorry, let's move on. You've lost me. Yes. I'm not familiar with acids and alcoholics.

Liar man who can somewhat accurately reproduce previously heard sounds. I imagine them trying to imitate a police siren or a car alarm to escape some peril. Liar is in the liar bird not liar is in someone who doesn't tell the truth but but a liar a liar man is is another one to come up with the perfect lie for any scenario at any time is another superpower yeah but i do we officially don't recommend that would be a wrong superpower wouldn't yes yes we don't condone lying that was damien by the way who suggested that michael suggested tax man who has the superhuman ability to instantly fill out a tax return with every possible deduction fantastic yes george suggested the blade runner

who can run at 133 speed but only when holding scissors. Carlos suggested regular man who is absolutely normal in every single way. Oh, wow. Someone else suggested that too. Someone who's absolutely average in every way. No particular gifts or skills that are in greater proportion to anything else at all. Vauter suggested Captain Slow, who has the ability to slow down time, but for everyone, things happen agonisingly slow

that you can't use your superpower to do anything useful because it also slows down for yourself. Wouter also suggested Doctor Could knows exactly what went wrong and what you could have done, but to prevent it. And tells you afterwards. Someone else suggested Captain Hindsight, who has a similar skill. He can tell you exactly what you should have done after. That's fantastic.

Yeah, Michael also suggested Captain Hindsight. Arnau suggested money person who can produce money out of thin air, but only one penny per day oh wow uh theodore suggested roulette superman who can fly 60 of the time but the other 40 of the time he just falls like a brick jennifer said we joke that my husband has this one for real red light man he can hit every red light while driving sometimes his superpower is so good that even if he's a passenger in the car all the lights turn red for him too my wife and i have a superpower similar to that in that we

always want to be we have a large kitchen but we always seem to need to be at the same part of the kitchen at the same time so if i'm walking from one part of the house to the bin, she will be walking from another part of the house to the place right next to the bin for some other purpose at exactly the same. And we're just forever, we're like banging into each other around the kitchen all the time, even though there's plenty of space for probably 10 more of us. Scott suggested breakfast man who only has his superpowers before 10.30 in the morning. Oh, that's great.

This one appealed to me from Michael, the floater, who has the ability to float one inch above the ground. Totally pointless, but totally cool. Like, yes. I like the idea of Halo Man. You know, they talk about people who are saintly have a halo. This guy just can produce a halo above himself at any particular time like he's not better than anyone else he just has a halo so he feels better and looks more righteous than everyone else i tell you what if

you've got an idea if we've inspired an idea get in touch with us unmade fm at gmail.com or go to our reddit or go to twitter let us know some more lame superpowers and we might talk about them again in a future episode but i think this is very good fun i enjoy this yeah it is good yeah very good just coming up with them and talking about them and why that could lead to all sorts of stories as well as a podcast idea that's very good