The Unmade Podcast - 130: Latvia’s #4 Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: August 14, 2023

Tim and Brady discuss our popularity in Latvia, the Olympic Flag, bottles, KFC on a plane, a Milo volcano, mid-song rapping, mediocrity, and toilets. Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://redd.it/15qxc8z Catch the podcast on YouTube where we often include accompanying videos and pictures - https://www.youtube.com/@unmadepodcast USEFUL LINKS Latvia - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latvia The Olympic Flag - https://www.britannica.com/topic/flag-of-the-Olympic-Games Māris Štrombergs - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Māris_Štrombergs A Milo Volcano: https://youtu.be/RRKux0-d0ps Black or White by Michael Jackson - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2AitTPI5U0 More mediocrity in episode 78 - https://www.unmade.fm/episodes/episode78 Tim Henman - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Henman Asher yatzar - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asher_yatzar Special thanks to Courtnea/Kortnia in Latvia Mid-Podcast Rap was by civilian Rich

I want to start off with a big hello to all our listeners in Latvia. Latvia, yes. Apparently, we're quite big there. Is that right? You were saying something, some disproportionate amount. I got this email about our performance in Apple podcast rankings in the last 30 days. Yeah. And in the comedy category, which we seem to be placed in, or I think I may have placed

us in, using the word comedy very loosely there. Very loosely indeed, yes. We are number four in Latvia. Wow. Number 18 in Kyrgyzstan, 33 in Oman. So, absolutely tearing it up around the world. That's fantastic. How many people in Latvia, man?

Can you look it up? How many people? Like, are there seven or eight people there? Population of Latvia? I'll look it up for you. I'll do that. My guess. What's your guess first?

Let's have a guess. I have no idea either. So let's have a guess. What's your guess? Six million. I'm going to go 14 million. Oh, it looks like it's 1.8 million. Oh, wow.

It's very small. Who knew? Yeah. Who knew Latvia was so small? So that number four in Latvia means even less now. Yeah. That's the interesting and then suddenly disappointing. I wonder what percentage of Latvians are listening, man.

If it's number four in Latvia? Most of them by the sounds of it. Yes, indeed. So there's more people in Adelaide than in Latvia. So there's more people in Adelaide than in Latvia. So there we go. We have one stakeholder from Latvia who I've contacted and asked to record a little message. So if I'm successful, you may hear that now.

Oh, legend. Fantastic. Sveicinati, Tim and Brady. Visas Latvijas idīvotāja vārdā. Vēlos jūs no sirds sveikt. Esat sasnieguši ceturto vietu. Populāko podkāstu sarakstā komēdiju žanrā. Mēs no sirds izbaudām jūsu sarunas par dzīvāniem, ritētu cāli un, protams, podkāstam iedomājums bez sarunām par karotēm. So hello to that stakeholder. Indeed, yes, yes, indeed. They probably single-handedly got us to number four on comedy in Latvia.

I don't know any Latvians, but if you know Latvians out there as listeners, you need to get them onto the podcast. Wouldn't it be great to go to number one in Latvia? How can we do that? Number one in comedy, yeah. We should start a campaign. Maybe we should like, you know how on Facebook you can do targeted advertising and stuff? Maybe we should just target Latvia and just hammer Facebook with ads for the

Unmade podcast in Latvia? Oh, that's a good idea. That's strategic. We could get a billboard. How much could a billboard cost in Latvia? Wow, that's a great idea. At the busiest intersection in Latvia, we get a massive billboard.

Centre of Riga. Riga. Is that the capital of Latvia? I believe that's the capital of Latvia. Let me- I'm going to have to bone up on my Latvian knowledge, that's for sure. I know. We could go on tour there.

We could. Hello, Latvia. You know how like some artists are really big in random countries, like David Hasselhoff is huge in Germany. Pink is massive in Australia for some reason. Yeah. Maybe Latvia is going to be our thing. Maybe.

We could become so big that we could move there. It's common in the rock industry to talk about being big in Japan. It's like, oh, not many people here tonight. Oh, but they're huge in Japan. That's often spoken of in those terms. Maybe it's like, have you heard the Unmade podcast? Yeah, it's not very funny. No, but it's funny in Latvia.

Number four in comedy podcasts. Maybe there's some things we're saying that in Latvian come across hilarious. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, sofa shop. Oh, I love it. That's right.

Maybe they're fanatical KFC people or something. Maybe they are. Fanatical KFC people or something. Maybe they are. As always, we've been hearing plenty from the civilians and from stakeholders on Reddit and email and Twitter. You can email us at unmadefm at gmail.com if there's something you'd like to say. The talk about how many continents there are,

which we discussed last episode, in the context of the Olympic flag, I think, with the five rings representing the seven continents. I don't know. Anyway, an owl flying said, continent counting can get very weird. The usual counting brings the seven. But then you have two ways to count to six by either smushing the Americas or smushing Europe and Asia or five by smushing both pairs together. Right. Yes. See, the problem is you have, like, the continents as we see them

on the map in our head, but then you have the continental plates that the land sits on. And sometimes a continental plate can be really big and have, you know, multiple bits of land on it. It's a lot easier with Australia. Clearly Australia is a continent. But then you have little islands because but what's but what's on our continental plate like the continental plate

that's underneath is new zealand on the same continental plate i think maybe it's not there were lots of emails about it there was lots of talk on reddit it's not an issue that our listeners uh just let slide by put it that. Who's the authority on this? I mean, someone must be in charge of the continents. And is there someone we can write a letter to and ask them to clarify once and for all? And then if there's more than five, for that person to then contact the Olympics

and let them know they need to adjust their flag. Can you imagine if we were responsible for a change in the Olympic rings? With an extra ring. That would be an absolute coup for the podcast. The people of Latvia would be over the moon. We should get a ring just for Latvia. The Latvian ring.

Five continents and Latvia. I'm part of that Latvian ring campaign. Have you heard about that? Wow. A ring for Latvia. It's really gathering. Hashtag ring for Lat Wow. Ring for Latvia. Hashtag ring for Latvia. We can have a telethon. People call in, you ring for ring for Latvia.

People call it, remember telethons? Not as many telethons these days. No, or a walkathon. Our school used to always do walkathons to raise money where we just like, I remember one year we just walked around the block like 50 times to try and raise money for books for the library or something. The least imaginative walkathon of all time. So, here's a question for you. How do you think Latvia have performed at the Olympics? Oh, okay. Well, I imagine this is- often these smaller nations have like some legend, like a hero who's been, you know, is the high jump, you know, girl or guy.

Yeah. And no one's ever bested them. And they're kind of personally on the flag, you know, like they're just legends of that particular, particularly field, you know, track and field, but particularly a field sport. All right. I'm going to tell you here, man. Not including, obviously, Latvia has a past where it was part of the Soviet Union. So, we're a field sport. All right. I'm going to tell you here, man. Not including-

Obviously, Latvia has a past where it was part of the Soviet Union, so we're not counting that. But just Latvia at the Olympics, according to Wikipedia, in the Summer Olympics, they've won 21 medals, four golds. Nice. And in the Winter Olympics, they've won 10 medals, one gold. Here are the four Summer Olympic gold medalists for Latvia. We have in 2000, Igor Virovs won the men's floor exercise in the gymnastics.

Nice. At the 2008 Beijing Olympics, Marius Strombergs won the men's BMX cycling. Oh, cool. At 2012, the London Olympics, Marius did it again with the men's BMX. So, he's obviously the superhero. Legend, yes. Yes. And then we have at the 2020 Tokyo, we have- Was that held in 2020?

Anyway, it's called the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. Yeah. We have four men winning one gold medal in the men's three-on-three basketball, which I don't count as a real sport. Although I don't really count the BMX as a real sport either, so. Oh, but it's still, he's a BMX bandit. He won the gold twice in BMXing, Latvian legend. What's his name again?

Maris? Maris? Maris Strombergs. And we're going to have to get him to be like the face of our campaign of a ring for Latvia on the Olympic flag. Oh, clearly. Clearly, because the BMX, there's two rings there already. The bike. I can see some sort of logo involving the bike, you know, and the rings and how it works. Look, for the sake of completion, the gold medal at the Winter Olympics was in 2014 Sochi Olympics, the four-man bobsleigh. Okay, yeah.

So, Maris Strombergs, I'm on his Wikipedia page now, Latvia has a stamp with a picture of him, no surprise there, born 10th of March 1987, Latvian former professional BMX racer. Does the stamp sort of look like the cover of the VHS of BMX bandits? Like, is it him up in the air? No, it's a picture of him in like a track suit holding his gold medal, having just received it. Right. He retired in 2018.

And his Wikipedia article is a bit lacking in details for Latvia's greatest ever Olympian. So, someone get on that too. Stay tuned for more in our campaign to have a new ring on the Olympic flag to honour Latvia's greatest ever Olympian. So someone get on that too. Stay tuned for more in our campaign to have a new ring on the Olympic flag to honour Latvia. A little bit of follow up on our podcast in a bottle. Obviously, we've had these podcasts created in bottles that we're going to release into the wild for people to randomly find. Colonel Katrina got in touch, actually. She said, surely one of the bottles has to be strapped to Snowy the alpaca next time Brady goes to the big rocking horse to test how motivated the civilians will be to get it.

Remember famously Snowy with the alpaca was there were all these warning signs at the big rocking horse saying, don't go near Snowy. He bites or he spits or he does something bad. he bites or he spits or he does something bad. So if we strapped one around his neck like a St. Bernard dog, would people be willing to approach Snowy to get the bottle? Well, that's a question. He's ferocious. He's very angry.

You certainly wouldn't negotiate it out of him. It would be a real standoff. And RemoteSupermarket9 said, I think you should release one of the bottles into Lake Superior. It could show up downstream somewhere all along the Great Lakes and the St. Lawrence Waterway. I'd love to release one into Lake Superior. It'd be amazing,

wouldn't it? So, just to confirm, as we're talking this now, none of them are out there, whatever out there means yet. Is that right? You're still contemplating? No, true. They are currently all in my office, but I do want to start releasing them soon. What about we put one in Lake Eyre in South Australia, which is famously a salt lake with no water in it? It will, yes. Well...

Better make a great photo. That's a long way to go to make the point, but it would be a nice photo. Yeah. Well, I'm coming to South Australia soon. Do you reckon we should do a day trip or a couple of day trip up to Lake Eyre? Well, if we can think of another reason that we're going at the same time, yes, yes. I'm willing to consider it. I'll keep that in mind. Leo got in touch with a bit of news, a bit of KFC news. We haven't had any KFC news for a little bit of a while.

There's a news article about this, but I'll read Leo's summary. A few days ago, a British Airways flight from Turks and Caicos to the Bahamas to Heathrow had to buy a bunch of KFC. The catering carts hadn't been properly chilled, so the meals had to be thrown away. After getting to Nassau and the Bahamas, they decided to buy KFC as a stand-in for the flight meal, and everyone on board got a piece of chicken. Oh, that's awesome. That's like a dream, catching a flight, getting KFC. I know. Oh.

On a plane. On a plane. You know how, like, your taste buds apparently don't work as well on planes, though? Like, things aren't as flavoursome. So, maybe the, I mean, I don't know. I did see a social media post from one of the recipients that said it was some of the best KFC they'd ever had. Right.

Wow. There you go. Well, it's strong, you see. It's got the strong flavour. It's designed even for a, you know, hollow metal tube with no air. It still, still does the job. Maybe just like Bahamas KFC is particularly good. And if someone wants to fund a special trip for me and Tim to go to the Bahamas and review

their KFC, I think we'd be up for it. You know what? I think we should drop one of the unmade bottles in the Bahamas and review their KFC, I think we'd be up for it. You know what? I think we should drop one of the unmade bottles in the Bahamas. I think it's important that I go at least over and do that. Yeah, well, at least you. You go to Lake Eyre and I'll go to the Bahamas. You go to the Bahamas. You know, I had a failed KFC tonight.

My wife went out and the instructions were that she was, you know, bringing back dinner. I'll bring back something for dinner. And so my, she asked, got any suggestions? And so I had one suggestion. And so I was thinking, well, that's, yeah, that's the one that'll come up. Alas, she came home with a really yummy gyros. But there is just a hint of disappointment, I have to say. It's one of those, I was just getting ready, you know, but didn't happen. Yeah. She could have been a hero. Could have been. I know. Is there anything more warming than when your wife unexpectedly agrees to junk food?

I know. Or even suggest it. It's like it's such a win. It's like, yes, woohoo, this is the peak of life. Because it feels guilt-free, that's why. You don't have to sell them on the idea. You don't have to secretly do it. It's like, oh, it's bestowed, a blessing. I mean, you could get it even better because your wife then goes and buys the junk food. My wife may agree to it, but she would never go and buy it. I still have to go and get it. Oh, really? Not even if she was coming back from somewhere and it was

convenient? Oh, no. Oh, right. Okay. There are like- there's a long list of shops and establishments that she just will not even walk into on principle. And like places like KFC are definitely on that list. Oh, dear. Oh, gosh. That's quite militant, really. She's a woman of principle. Yes. Well- Not that your wife isn't. There are principles and then there are principles, you know, like. Yeah. I eat KFC and that's one of my principles.

So, that's like not eating it isn't a higher principle, it's just a different principle. Speaking of unhealthy foods, we heard from Joe in Singapore, dear Dr. Haran OAM and Reverend Hine. On episode 129, I caught Tim wondering about the overseas popularity of Milo, an Australian favourite. Milo, of course, is this malty chocolatey powder that we have in drinks, that we talk about every episode. So, if you don't know what Milo is by now, you're never going to know. Anyway, I'd like to inform Tim that Milo has been a well-beloved drink in Singapore and Malaysia as well for quite a long time.

And by the way, I can vouch for that. Like, I've been to, like, the airport in Malaysia and I've been to Singapore and Milo has an even bigger presence. They have, like, vending machines and all sorts of stuff for Milo in those countries. Milo is huge. Oh, wow. I've been to both those places too, and I've not noticed it. I've not seen it. I've not- because I'm a coffee drinker who sometimes has a Milo, whereas you're sort

of a Milo man. So, you would notice. You'll go to like a shop and they'll have a big like clear container with pre-mixed Milo in it that they can just pour like pulling a drink. No way. Wow. pour like pulling a drink no way wow uh joe goes on to say two ways it is served are one hot with a spoon of condensed milk mixed in as if milo isn't sweet enough and two iced with so much milo powder that it makes an island of undissolved powder at the top this is called a dinosaur milo

dinosaur milo sold for me like Milo, sold for men. Like, that sounds awesome. It does. It does. A real favourite of mine was to put lots of heaped teaspoons of Milo in the bottom of a glass, pour the cold milk on top, and for a little while, the powder gets trapped under the milk. But eventually, it, like, explodes through and comes to the top. And on the travel up, sometimes some of it gets wet,

some of it stays dry and then you spoon that wet Milo off the top and eat that before you then drink the chocolatey milk beneath. You can call that a, I'll call that a volcano Milo. That is brilliant. That explanation is vivid. Like I'm just totally with you. I love it. That's great.

It's like, yes, I know exactly what you mean. And I've intuitively known that my whole childhood. That's like, oh, absolutely. Yes. I'm off the Milo at the moment, actually. So, this is just making me really want one. But I can't because I'm keeping my sugar intake down. Oh, right.

Okay. Yes. Is there sugar in Milo? Is there? I think there is. Yeah. Sometimes you actually see the sugar. Like, you see, like, it feels like you see actual grains of sugar in there.

Like, I just couldn't dissolve it into the powder enough. There's so much sugar. You know, there was, I knew a kid at school who would have Fruit Loops for breakfast, which are super sugar sort of, you know, breakfast cereal, and then would have sugar on top. Yeah. So, he'd have sugar on his Fruit Loops for breakfast, which are super sugar sort of breakfast cereal, and then would have sugar on top. So, we'd have sugar on his Froot Loops. Sugar. And that was amazing. Sugar on your Froot Loops.

It was amazing for two reasons. One is because they had Froot Loops, it was allowed in their house, and it's like, I don't know what sort of parents you've got, but that is amazing in itself. And then secondly, that you would then put sugar on them is just overwhelming. Like, that's just, that is ridiculous. I remember Froot Loops just having, when I was young, having the reputation as being the evil cereal that's too sugary. It was the one cereal that we were never allowed in our house. My parents eventually caved a little bit on Cocoa Pops, but they never caved on Froot Loops. It was one of the first things that I bought in my first sort of independent shop, having moved out of home.

You know, when you go buy frozen pizzas and, you know, Fruit Loops and nothing really practical. You realise you've got no toothpaste or anything. But it's like your first, like, whoo, shop, and I just got Fruit Loops and I just had, I think I had it like four or five times in about two days and then they're gone and you're like, okay, we probably need some more different kinds of food

with some nutrition from now on. I've got a question I'm going to ask you and the civilians. Let me know. Why are we as humans and as people in a society so willing to have the same thing for breakfast day after day after day, but we've got this revulsion about having the same thing for dinner? Oh, I'm not having pizza. We had pizza for dinner last night.

Like there seems to be some law against having the same thing for dinner too regularly. But we're willing to have the same thing for breakfast all the time. That is a really good point. In fact, we're reassured. We want- we're annoyed when we can't have what we normally have for breakfast. We want the same thing. That is a really great point. But dinner?

Oh, oh, you can't- oh, no. We had pasta two nights ago. We're not having it again. There must be something to do with having slept and then waking up and you want the reassurance of something familiar. You don't want something different. It's got to be something to do with that. I can understand an importance of variety, right? Some people will say, well, you need to eat a variety of different foods so that you have variety in your diet.

It keeps you healthy. Okay. But why are we not like that about breakfast? Why is it dinner that we're funny about? I think lunch we're willing to have the same thing all the time as well. But dinner, that evening meal, some people, you know, are really funny about it. No, no, no. Something about the journey through the day that makes us want to have a variety of tastes.

We demand more interesting tastes and things, whereas earlier in the day we're just happy to have sustenance or anything at all. Maybe you've got more time in the evening, so that is a time where you can throw the variety in. I don't know. I want to know what people think. Interesting point.

Profound philosophical question, man. You get the big questions here. Yeah, you do. I'm sure the people of Latvia will have opinions on this. I'll probably have the most marvellous breakfast. I have a little podcast idea. Can I share? Can I share this with you?

This is definitely the time and place to share it. Yes. If ever there was a time and a place to share a podcast idea, you're on. Remember last episode, I drew on music and I talked about how songs have fade-outs at the end. Well, they used to have fade-outs at the end and podcasts don't. And I suggested maybe podcasts have fade outs at the end. Well, they used to have fade outs at the end and podcasts don't. And I suggested maybe podcasts should fade out at the end. And we faded out the last episode.

It was wonderful. I've got another thing that lots of songs used to have, particularly in the 90s, that I'm going to call for in podcasts. Right. And that is the mid-song rap. Yeah. in podcasts. Right. And that is the mid-song rap. Yeah. Remember for a while, all these songs, no matter what genre the song was, in the middle would suddenly just break into a rap.

Oh, I love it. Yes. Yes. Why can't more podcasts have a rap in the middle? Just like completely incongruous. That is true. A lot of songs, it's essentially the bridge. So, you know, songs, you know, everyone knows songs essentially start

with a verse, you know, a bit of an opening music, verse, chorus, verse, chorus. Instead of another verse, you kind of have a bit of a variation, then come back to the chorus again. That bit of a variation was a rap. It was often a rap, wasn't it? It was someone who would come in and go, you know, jam, jam, here comes the man, hot damn, you know, and away they'd go.

Yeah, that's right. The seminal one for me that first comes to mind every time I think of it is in Michael Jackson, Black or White. Yes, yes. That had that rap in the middle as well. Yeah. But there were many, many others. There were many others.

Do you know I met the guy that did the rap? I can't remember who did it on the recording, but when we went to the Michael Jackson concert, right, beforehand I walked past the Hotel Hyatt. In Adelaide. In Adelaide. And there were all these, like, his entourage were there. I didn't see Michael, but, you know, there's massive entourage,

people waiting and so forth. And then obviously some guys that are kind of in the band. And so I introduced myself to one guy. I said, what do you do? And he goes, I do the rap in black or white and it's like he's like on tour traveling the world to come out for those 20 seconds and then go away again it's like that is a cool job that is awesome i wonder if he ever forgot the words just come out and sang ice ice baby. Oh, no, damn it.

Hang on. Wait, sorry. Let me do it. Start again. Oh, dear. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, what do you reckon?

Mid-podcast raps? Future in it? Definitely. Jam, jam. It's got the man. I bet you never thought I'd be in Japan. Dying home with the Milo man. Funny in Latvia.

Hot damn. Coming in hot. 18 in Kirkstar. 33 and Latvia. Hot damn. Coming in hot. 18 in Kyrgyzstan. 33 in Oman. Hot damn. I want to start with a big hello. Yes, yes. To the dinosaur Milo. Explode. Sugar on top. You better watch your back for the man in black. Out for the kill. He just walked around the block with a spoon of condensed milk. Hot damn. With a spoon of condensed milk. Hot damn.

Well, I'm coming to South Australia soon. Do you reckon we should do a day trip? Yes, Latvia. Do you know any raps off by heart that you can just recite now? I think I can do the black or white Michael Jackson one. And I could probably do the stutter rap or a lot of that, that song. Oh, yeah, yeah. I remember that. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. What about you? Have you got a favourite rap? I know. I like rap music generally, but that sort of rap in the middle of the song. I'm trying to think of some other examples. The black or white one I know of by heart. There's also one in-

Protection for gangs, clubs and nations causing grief to human relations. It's a turf war on a Gangs, Clubs and Nations Causing Grief to Human Relations It's a turf war on a global scale. I'd rather hear both sides of the tale. See, it's not about Reese's or Faces Places. Where your butt comes from is where your space is. But the butt can't get duller. Hang on, what is it? I thought it was, but the butt can't

talk. That's what I thought he says. What? Is it? That's what I've been saying for 30 years. What is it? But the body can't talk, maybe. Oh, maybe we don't know that one. Top 50 best pop songs with rap features. Yes.

I'll see. There's a whole bunch of ones that I'm not going to know. Like Girls Like You by Maroon 5 featuring Cardi B. Maroon 5. Intentions by Justin Bieber featuring Quavo. There's lots of featureings, you know, so-and-so featuring so-and-so. Katy Perry featuring Nicki Minaj. And they're all modern.

Where are some of the old ones from our days? They're all modern songs. Don't forget there's Walk This Way, which is not quite a bridge, is it? Because it's Aerosmith singing and then there's Run DMC that are kind of rapping in the verses. It doesn't quite sort of count as a bridge. That's kind of the opposite, isn't it? Isn't that more a rap featuring some non-rap? Yeah, well, it kind of is.

Another example that's a bit different, man, is the End of the Road by Boyz II Men, where, remember, the other guy comes in and he just does, it's not rap, but it is a spoken kind of bit, you know? Oh, yeah, yeah. That's cool. That deep, sexy talking bit. You know I love you. You is a spoken kind of bit you know yeah that's cool deep that deep sexy talking bit you know i love you you know that that kind of that dude hey i do i know why did you wrong baby yeah i just didn't care that's the i'm not just singing about it now i need to talk to you halfway through the song just to show that i'm really sincere that's one of those raps yeah yeah and just i just want to showcase how deep my voice is is that the dude that holds the walking stick is that that guy in boys to men i think it might be the walking stick dude yeah

that's another thing that needs to make a comeback like unnecessary walking sticks just as a like a accessory oh yeah just they're never leaning on them. It's always like you're holding it to your hands and jumping back and forward, pointing at stuff. Yeah. All right. There we go. You just don't understand how much I love you, do you?

Have you got an idea for a podcast today, Tim? I do. I do. This idea has been sitting with me and I'm not sure quite how to frame it. So, I'm just going to throw it out there and explore. I thought about calling it meh but really it's it's a celebration of mediocrity i i'm you know there's a lot of i've been watching some documentaries about great sportsmen right and there's a lot of celebrate things are awesome

things are great things are wonderful and some things are terrible awful bad and in between there are things that are mediocre. And, you know, mediocrity gets a bad rap, doesn't it? Mediocrity is not generally celebrated by anyone. But I'd like to see some documentaries, some memoirs, some books, well, a podcast celebrating mediocrity in different fields of life, in different walks of life, in different, you know, tribes and areas and genres, someone who is quintessentially mediocre. Hey, everyone. I'm aware Tim had this idea in episode 78. This is not the first time Tim's

had the same idea twice. I didn't initially have the heart to tell him. So, don't get yourself into tears. I am aware. I do bring it up later, but we went with it anyway, and it was a different discussion. So, hey, just pretend it's the Groundhog Day episode. So, let me ask you, who comes to mind when I say mediocrity, apart from this podcast? Like, who else comes to mind? I don't know. If someone's mediocre, I feel like you won't have heard of them If they're truly mediocre I think there's got to be enough that they're trying very hard I don't think it can be like, well

Okay, I've got one, I've got one Tim Henman, the tennis player Yes, yes Because they always, British people always wanted him to win Wimbledon And he like, he would sometimes have like a good run at Wimbledon Where he'd get to the quarterfinals or the semifinals and he'd occasionally win a minor tournament here and there and you'd always hear people in the crowd at Wimbledon between points going, come on Tim!

In this really feeble way and they'd call him Tiger Tim but he was never a tiger he was just a tiger. He was just, like, a mediocre tennis player. Like, he had a good tennis career. Yeah. He'd beat me in a game of tennis. But he was just, he never won anything big. He never won a slam, did he?

Never won Wimbledon, never won a slam? No, no. No. No, no, no. He never made a final. But because he was British and he was a British tennis player at a time when Britain didn't have good tennis players. Yes.

He was always like their hope that he would be the one that would finally get Wimbledon. Of course, it was Andy Murray that finally did get Wimbledon for them after the big drought. Yeah. Who's Scottish, which creates an interesting dilemma for English people. Yes. But Tim Henman is like, for me, like mediocre. He fits that perfectly. Oh, that's a great example.

I remember there used to be a massive crowd outside Wimbledon watching. I think they called it Henman Hill. Is that right? Where everyone would go to. Yeah, it's still there. And it's still called Henman Hill. Is it really? And sometimes they'll call it Murray Mound.

But no, it's still really called Henman Hill. Yeah. Outside. It's for people who have general admission tickets to Wimbledon but can't go into Centre Court. They have this big grass hill with a big TV screen and people watch what's happening on Centre Court on the big screen. Yeah. The Henman Hill. Yeah.

And again, like having a hill named after you instead of like a mountain just like just reinforces mediocrity in every possible way. It's not a grandstand. It's outside behind in every possible way it's not a grandstand it's outside behind the grandstand it's not a mountain it's just a bit yeah it's it's just a sloping bit of grass yeah poor who's who's what's your mediocre example oh look a few a few bands come to mind it's hard to sit on one there's a lot of mediocrity. There's a band called Creed, but I feel like I want to put them in the, oh, they're awful kind of category. Sorry to anyone who might like Creed.

But they're sort of awful. So you sort of think, okay, who's better than that? But just sort of average. There's a lot of songs that I think make it that are mediocre, but they're not great songs, but they're just sort of around over and over again. Can you be mediocre and be really successful? Like, you know, like Cliff Richard? Absolutely, you can.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Because Cliff Richard's like successful and seems a likable guy, I guess. But you wouldn't call him like a talent or a voice that blows you away. But he just seems really mediocre. Old people like him.

He's had like – I think he's been like – he's had a number one in five different decades or something crazy. Super successful. Yeah. And often at Wimbledon too. It's more likely to get a grandstand named after him than Tim Henman. He definitely appears on Centre Court more often. He loves going to the tennis that's right yeah their whole like like 90% Bon Jovi albums are just mediocre you know the new one comes out and it's just another okay well it's John Bon Jovi

you know what I mean he's sort of I seen there's a moment in the 80s when he's like it's for nostalgic reasons you go he's great but but John Bon Jovi I think knows that he's mediocre he's a moment in the 80s when he's like, for nostalgic reasons, you go, he's great. But Jon Bon Jovi, I think, knows that he's mediocre. He's a journeyman, but has been phenomenally successful. What about, like, world leaders? Like, obviously, things like US presidents are very polarising. And there are some that people think were great and should be carved into mountains. There are others that people think are terrible and should be put on trial. And you must have a few mediocre presidents, too, that just, like, you know, did the job.

Well, I think Jimmy Carter's spoken of like that. I think he's seen as having a better post-presidency than he did an actual presidency. He was a pretty mediocre president. Gerald Ford, maybe the same. Just sort of there, you know. I think a lot of people feel like Obama was that kind of president in the end. I quite like Obama and it was amazing that he was elected, but it did feel like it peaked at that point.

You know what I mean? And then from then on, a lot of people felt a bit anticlimactic. Yeah, he was symbolic. He was hugely symbolic, but politically and economically and other things maybe, yeah. But if our conversation of mediocrity is naming Barack Obama, perhaps we need to pull back a little bit. Do you think if we contacted Barack Obama's people

and asked if he'd be willing to come on our podcast about mediocrity, we'd get a yes? I really did let myself get away with it there. Yeah, let's pull back again to the 400 million other people who, you know, went through law at Harvard and didn't become president. Yeah, we're holding our mediocrity bar a little bit high maybe. Well, you just need to change the category, though, because everyone's mediocre at something.

Like, I'm sure Barack Obama's a mediocre singer or dancer, you know what I mean? But that's not kind of the thing he's known for. So we're all mediocre at loads and loads of stuff, almost everything. But it's interesting to think of people who come to prominence in a particular circle, you know what I mean? And then, but then their mediocrity kind of, kind of shines through. Yeah. I think to some degree, The Office, a TV show like The Office is a bit of a celebration of mediocrity. You know,

it's a mediocre town, it's a mediocre workplace. It's actually pushing into the little details and everyone's, no one's amazing. Yeah. Everyone's a bit crap. Yeah. And it's hilarious. Yeah. Yeah, and the little cutaways to a photocopying machine and things like that just reinforce it. Yeah, exactly. That was a cutaways to a photocopying machine and things like that just reinforce it. Yeah, exactly. That was a high point for mediocrity. Good idea, man.

I feel like you've done an idea like that before, to be honest, but- Really? I don't know. 130 episodes. We've got to start recycling. It's the essence of mediocrity. Not only is it a mediocre idea, but he's done it again. Like, it's a mediocre idea that I've recycled.

Yeah. Just quickly before I share another idea, let's hand out a few little treats to our Patreon supporters, our stakeholders. Go to patreon.com slash unmadefm if you would like to support the show, help us make more episodes, help us do more stuff, also have bonus material and opportunities shared with you as Patreon supporters. We're giving away some prizes.

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Thank you for your patronage. Little thing for you, but a big thing for us. Really appreciate it. Is there anything you can do, Tim? Any bonus material you can put on the Patreon? You sometimes send me funny photos that I can put on there. A lot of mediocre photos. Yes.

Mediocrity taken of mediocre things I do I would describe your photography as mediocre Thank you man I thought it was bad but it's not it's mediocre No no not bad but definitely not good as well Like truly mediocre Nice

Real middle of the road I'm chuffed that's a real blessing You didn't have to say that You're welcome. Thank you. Are there any other areas of my life that you think have reached mediocrity? Let me think. I think, you know, I think usually you're quite polarising.

Usually I think you're quite good at things or quite terrible. Right, yes. Yeah. Like, for example, you know, you're a very good public speaker, but you're a terrible cricketer. So normally you're like both ends of the spectrum. Yeah. Like, for example, you know, you're a very good public speaker, but you're a terrible cricketer. So normally you're like both ends of the spectrum. Yeah. But your photography really is mediocre.

Well, they help you. I mean, the iPhones, they're so good these days. You know what I mean? Like you sort of help with the mediocrity. With a normal camera, I'm a shocker. But they sort of, they're so amazing, they've pulled me up into mediocrity. I'm worried the iPhones are going to get so good, they're going to need a special setting for you to pull it back down to mediocre back in the old days right when you used to take a photo with a camera and you'd

send you know the film off to the chemist or whatever and get it back every now and then you'd get one that was like not crap and it'd have a little sticker on it saying this is a good photo. It would be worth having this one blown up and framed and I only ever got one of them once. My mum used to get them a few more times than that and whatever. Do you think that's because your mum was a good photographer or they thought she was like a good target for upselling? Well, that's what I was going to say. It's essentially, A, they're going through every one of my photos, which is unthinkable these days, isn't it? That someone will be looking at all your photos and handing them to you and you'd walk away with them like oh wow look at that one um but yeah they had total self-interest like

you're going to blow this up and buy this frame over here no one has that job anymore it was weird that they looked through our photos i mean they kind of had to because they had to make sure they were working they were you know they were being processed properly. But yeah, it was weird. I've got an idea for a podcast. It's not the most, it won't initially seem like the most pleasant one, but I think it's got potential. Right. I want to call this podcast The Restroom.

And this is a podcast reviewing toilet facilities. Oh, right. Mainly reviewing toilet facilities. Oh, right. Mainly public toilet facilities because, you know, sometimes when I go to the toilets at like motorway services and stuff like that, you'll go to toilets and think, oh, these ones are terrible. Sometimes you'll go to a restaurant or a posh place and the toilets are exceptional and you come out

and you can't wait to tell everyone about them. Yeah, I know, yeah. How great the toilets were. Have you been to the toilet here? They're amazing. I like the idea. And there are like, obviously, toilet reviewing is not a new thing. There are like blogs and things have been done.

But I think doing it as a podcast and recording them in situ as you experience the facilities has some potential. You would have recorded on the throne. Is that what you're suggesting? No, not while you're using the toilet. I think that would be a bit much, but more just walking around and, you know. Okay. Yeah, these are really good.

They've got really good pipe work. They're really clean. Oh, really interesting wallpaper. I went to a toilet the other day at a nice restaurant, and I had this incredible wallpaper that I thought we should get for our house. And I came out, and I sat down, and I said to my wife, oh, my God, you've got to go and have a look in the men's toilets because it's got the most amazing wallpaper. And she pulled out her phone, and she'd just been to the women's toilets and showed me a picture of the wallpaper. It turns out they had the same wallpaper in the

women's toilets. And she'd taken a photo of it to show me because she thought it was so good and we should get it. Not only does it show we have the same taste in wallpaper, but it shows how you do talk about the toilets afterwards. You do, you do. What are the coolest toilets you've ever been to? There's a place we go to in the Maldives that has a few different restaurants on the island, and they make a big deal of the toilets. They try and make them really interesting. The toilets normally have like an ante room, a first room you go into that is still communal for men and women before you branch off to the men and women.

And that's kind of like where you wash your hands and stuff like yeah and that's always a really cool room yeah uh with like cool art and sofas a photo booth in one of them and stuff like that this uh this place we go to in the maldives has has the best toilet facilities i reckon i've seen they're really cool they're a real experience I'm aware that we're saying toilet and that, of course, the Americans would rather us be saying bathroom. I don't know what it is in Latvian. That's an interesting question. However, people are getting the gist. What is the Latvian word for toilet?

I will insert that here, Latvian word for toilet. Toilet. Thanks to our Latvian Patreon supporter. Absolutely. Who's really getting a good workout today. Our contact in Latvia. Tuolete. There's a really cool one in here in Adelaide that was a bank.

It's diagonally opposite the Parliament House, you might remember. And it was, I can't remember which bank. It became that Jamie's Italian for a while. Yeah, and that went bust. And it's been a couple, it's called the fish bank now. So it's like a fish house sort of with lovely fish. But when the Jamie, Jamie Oliver's Italian took it over, they made it look amazing. And so you actually go down, the toilets are in the safe downstairs.

So you go down to the big old safe and go to the toilet in there and around that area. And that's a lot of fun. The old bars are still there and it's, they made it look really, really cool. And that's a lot of fun. I old bars are still there and they made it look really, really cool. That's a lot of fun. I always look forward to going to the toilet when I go there. Okay, so where's your train spotting toilet? Where's the worst toilet in your experience? Oh, Glastonbury.

Glastonbury Music Festival. Oh, yes, of course, Music Festival toilets. Various toilets there that I'd never want to think about again. Yeah, yeah. There's a few motorway services near where I live that are terrible, particularly bad. I did want to bring up something else, though. Because funnily enough, just as I was having this idea, I happened to be listening to the radio. And a few minutes after I thought of this, a rabbi came on the radio, the BBC radio here,

funnily enough to do a little talk about toilets and public toilet policy. Right. And the importance of good public toilet policy, which was quite interesting in a way. Sure, sure. But one thing she pointed out that I didn't know, maybe you do know this, Tim, because you know more about religion than me. And I don't know much about Judaism, I'm the first to admit, and so apologies for any mispronunciations

and apologies for my ignorance in general. You know, I respect the religion, but I don't know much about it. But apparently they have this prayer called the Asher Yatzar that you say whenever you go to the toilet. Really? I didn't know that. No? Yeah. According to Wikipedia here, Asher Yatza is a blessing in Judaism. It is recited after engaging in an act of excretion or urination,

but it's also included in many Jewish prayer books as part of daily prayer. The purpose of the blessing is to thank God for good health. And there's a little bit, there's a lot of nuance to it. I suggest people read more about it. And it seems like different parts of the religion have different thoughts about what you should say. But basically, the prayer goes along the lines of, blessed are you, Adonai, our God, king of the universe, who formed man with wisdom and created within him many openings and many hollow spaces. It is obvious and known before your seat of honor that if even one

of them would be opened or if even one of them would be sealed it would be impossible to survive and to stand before you even for one hour blessed are you adonai who heals all flesh and acts wondrously there you go marvelous and another thing I love about, like, you know, religion, but particularly Judaism, they do seem to think of all scenarios and they cover everything. Yeah, yeah. So, there's a lot of talk about what people with different medical issues should do and how often they should use this prayer

and when they should use this prayer. So, in case you're wondering, and this is according to Wikipedia, by the way, so take it with whatever grain of salt you need to. A person with incontinence should recite the blessing after urination, even if it's involuntary. One who has no bowel or bladder control does not recite the blessing at all. They also cover what to do if you have a catheter, diarrhea, laxatives, illnesses. They've thought of everything.

So there you go. I did not know this. This was something I did not know. Well, that's a wrong. I mean, it's a very earthy religion, like to do with practical things and tangible things, you know, food. Because that part of your body, we don't think about it a lot or do a lot about it unless something goes wrong.

But it's a miracle. And unless it's working well, you're in all sorts of trouble. It's just- Oh, it's one of the absolute necessities. Absolutely. Along with breathing and sleeping and food and yeah. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, you don't pray every time you go to the toilet then?

No, no. I pray if I can't find a toilet and I need one. Yeah, yeah. But no, no, I don if I can't find a toilet and I need one. Yeah. But no, no, I don't. So there you go. The Restroom or something like that would be my toilet-based podcast, coming to a podcast player near you. Would you get into the really technical parts, like, oh,

it's got this size bowl and it's got a this and it's this by end and all that kind of stuff? Yep, yep. Love a good 17-inch double glazed bowl with a reverse S-bend. Yeah, I get really into the technical, the flush mechanisms. It's a 17-litre flusher with inbuilt double funnel super water valves. I don't know. I can't even make stuff up.

Real porcelain talk. Yes. Nice. Yeah. And only then do you move on to the surrounding areas, you know, the wallpaper and the size of the room and all that kind of stuff. Yeah. Good toilets are important, you know.

You can judge a place by its toilets. Well, indeed. And service stations are legendary for having terrible toilets. And I don't know why. They want people to come back. Why wouldn't you want people to, oh, I'll pull in here. It's going to be nice. It doesn't take much to have like a clean bathroom.

And yet some of them are just, they're just. I guess service stations are not well staffed. Yes. I mean, let's be honest. We all know what it is, don't we? It's truck drivers. Truck drivers. Truck drivers. Truck drivers.

They need industrial strength. Sorry to all the truck drivers who are listening. We're probably half our patrons, you know, because they're driving along listening and enjoying the show and now feel totally slighted. It's like, what? They've gone off arse onto Latvians. We're just pandering to our Latvian audience now.

It's all latrines and Latvians these days. That's the Unmade podcast. All right, any secret words before we close things out? Oh, no, I didn't ask for any. I wasn't given any. So, therefore. All right. Perfect.

I've succeeded. Lovely. Dodged a bullet. You've not failed. I have not failed. I'm mediocre. Yeah, that's a mediocre end to the episode. A, it's not funny.

B, I didn't fail. It's just, yeah, mediocre. You didn't fail, but you didn't succeed either. You just are. Tim Henman-esque. There we go. Poor Tim Henman. The only example we thought of mediocrity was Tim Henman

and Barack Obama, who we then had to discount. Both who are multi-multi-millionaires because of their successful careers. That's right, I've lived a full and rich life and made a massive contribution to many, many people. Loving fathers and husbands. We're just sniping them from our homemade podcast.