The Unmade Podcast - 147: Imagine the Phone Call

Episode Date: July 24, 2024

Tim and Brady discuss beatboxing, the English seaside, a dog on the tuckerbox, and then imagine some ‘famous phone calls’.Extra chat can be hear at the Request Room - https://www.patreon.com/posts/108732859Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFMJoin the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/Unmade_Podcast/Catch the podcast on YouTube where we often include accompanying videos and pictures - https://www.youtube.com/@unmadepodcastUSEFUL LINKSPictures to accompany this episode - https://www.unmade.fm/episode-147-picturesNumberphile video about the Nepal Flag - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2Gne3UHKHsStranger in Moscow - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEEMi2j6lYEOn Chesil Beach - https://amzn.to/46l0qrnThe UK Coastal Protection Act - https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/Geo6/12-13-14/74Pictures of Spoon of the Week - https://www.unmade.fm/spoon-of-the-weekJurassic Park score - https://amzn.to/3zTb5xwThe Story of Jonah - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JonahCatch the bonus Request Room episode - https://www.patreon.com/posts/108732859Information about getting the Request Room into your podcast feed (for patrons) - https://bit.ly/3uQWhNz

I feel like we haven't done this for ages. Yeah. It's probably been about a month because the last episode was the pre-recorded one with Matt Parker. So, yeah. Yeah. Do you remember how to ride this horse? I do. Edward rode a pony for the first time a week ago.

Oh, really? Like a cute little Shetland pony? Yeah, it's ridiculously cute. There's not much cuter than a little tiny kid that's your kid riding a pony. Oh, that's great. Yeah. The great thing is you could actually go to Shetland and ride a Shetland pony in Shetland. We're going to some place in the mountains in Europe in a few weeks where there's loads

and loads of ponies. Like even the childcare place takes them out for pony rides. So it's like pony central. Did he have a little cowboy hat? He didn't have a cowboy hat because he was wearing a helmet. Oh, of course. And he loves wearing a helmet because he knows when he wears a helmet, he's going to either be riding a scooter, a skateboard, a bike or a pony. Right. I love it

though, because when he wears a helmet to ride on his bike or his scooter, and then he goes and does something else like on the playground, he's quite happy just to keep his helmet on. And there's nothing I love more than him playing while wearing a helmet. It's like a very safe feeling. He could wear a helmet all his life and I'd be happy. It's like, Dad, why are you getting all that bubble wrap out? I wonder if you could measure, like, what horsepower the pony was. Half a horsepower? Quarter of a horsepower?

I do think that all measurements in the world Should be transferred from horsepower to pony power Because pony power just sounds heaps cool Yeah, and you get like a little boost Like your Ferrari's even more pony power Oh, that's right, yeah, yeah 10,000 horsepower or 15,000 pony power Quick parish notices In the last episode when we spoke to matt parker he had the idea of i ate when that happens where he talked about how he gets really irritated by the number eight being upside

down sometimes and we encouraged other people to tell us their their little minor annoyances like that we had um gravity tortoise said i don't know if this is the kind of upside down eight thing you were talking about but for me the months of september october november and december are annoying because they are not the seventh eighth ninth and tenth months so obviously you know sept means seven oct means eight deck ten and yet they don't line up they're not the months they refer to december should be the tenth month with deck but it's not it's the twelfth month september should be the seventh month but it's not it's the ninth month this is very annoying for gravity tortoise this rings a

bell like there are a couple of others inserted at some stage. Yeah, I'm sure. No doubt it links back to the church. The church is responsible for all annoying things in the world. We want to feed more poor people, so we need to add in an extra bit here that stuffs up the calendar. So I agree with that. That is like a...

But my way of remembering what number the months are is that they're wrong. Like I remember September, that's right. It's the 9th. Do you actually- I never think about that. I never think about- I just know them in my head, but I never- Oh, no. Especially October in my mind map. Oct means 8, but it's the 10th month. I tell myself that every time I'm figuring out what number October is, especially. I think of October, I immediately think, oh, it's two away from December. So, it's definitely 10th. Ah, that's interesting. I look at the end and go two back.

That kind of mind mapping that one does is actually relates to one of my podcast ideas in the future. So, we'll come back to that because I love the way people have these little ways of remembering things, but not also just ways of remembering things, but ways of locating things. We'll come back to that another day. I'm dying to talk about that because, but I don't know if this is related or not, but the way I'll just say it and you don't have to, you know, like engage me. But when you count numbers, I realise that there's a picture in my mind of the trail of numbers in a certain order and then the teens go across and the 20s go up.

And I've never heard anyone – do you have a mental picture in your mind? When I say 23, are you visualising a big long line and it's there in a line or what what are you thinking really i sometimes think of them maybe in a line for certain purposes just like one continuous line but no not so much numbers i know a lot of people associate numbers with colors uh i've heard a lot of talk about that in my over the course of my number file career but we'll have to come back to this tim i am very interested i am interested yes yes with colours. I've heard a lot of talk about that over the course of my Numberphile career, but we'll have to come back to this, Tim. I am very interested.

I am interested. Yes, yes, come back to it. In the meantime, I'm going to think about it a little bit more, and I'm going to try and – it's a three-dimensional image. I'll see if I can map it or draw it somehow, and then I can explain what I mean. Possible Numberphile video on the cards here, Tim. You could make your Numberphile debut. Ooh, that's exciting funnily enough there's a question about that in the request room today

um but we'll come to that when we do the request room okay um uh still on the i8 when that happens topic paul zoltan said my upside down eight equivalent is country flags being stretched to fit a single ratio for example the square swiss flag gets massacred sometimes when it's stretched out into a rectangle also ugly maps that's even more disturbing than flags but that is a good one i'm sensitive to that because not not all flags are the same ratio. They're different shaped rectangles and that. And famously, the Swiss flag, of course, is a square. But sometimes if there's some reason that all the flags need to be shown at the same shape, some people will warp that Swiss flag out to a rectangle.

Horrendous. What if a nation just decided they wanted a triangle? Well, let me introduce you to Nepal. Have you seen the Nepalese flag? It's two triangles. Oh, right. I can't picture it. Let me Google it.

Well, all right. Have a look. Very famously, the Nepalese flag is two triangles stacked on top of each other. No, it is too. Look at that. But with the white in the negative space, or is that just not? No, there's no negative space. There's just nothing.

No negative space. The one I'm looking, one of them I look at here is, oh, right, that's very good. That's like one of those, you know, when you look up the old sailing ship flags, how one means we've got this disease, another one means we're from this country, and another one means we've got scurvy,

and another one means we've got treasure but don't come near us all you know what i mean they've all got there's like a million different flags with different messages attached to them there you go and another one means we are nepalese and that's this one we are nepal we've got huge mountains i'll refer you again to a number file video about how to draw the nepalese flag the nep Nepalese flag can be drawn without pictures, just using a text explanation in the Nepalese constitution. And we made like a video about how you draw it, like it explains what to do. And if you've got like a ruler and a compass, you can draw it without seeing it, supposedly.

It really is a very nerdy channel, isn't it? It is a little bit. It does skew a little bit nerdy. I admit it. Ideas for a podcast is what we like to do here. Tim, you said you had a bit of a short, quick, easy one. I thought I might let you go first then. Well, it's short.

I don't know if it's easy, though. Okay. I'm going to – I'll do this one with a bit of a cold open, okay? So- Are you okay, man? You got something stuck in your throat? Are you beatboxing? Yes. Can I name that beat? Can I name that beat? Can you name that beat? Oh, that's really hard because all beats are pretty much the same.

Okay, I'll give you a clue. This beat. Oh, was that Teardrop by Massive Attack? No, but good guess. Good guess, man. Thanks, man. This one. You're just impressed I know the name of that

song. This one and the next one both come from your little CD collection in 1995 when you first got a CD player. Right. So it's one of about eight CDs that you owned at the time. I'll do it again.

I'll do it again. I'll do it again. Is it a Michael Jackson song? Yes. Well, think about which Michael Jackson album you own. Well, I had like, I had history. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

That was like a greatest hits history. One side was, and the other side, it was new songs. Think about the singles that came off that album. I need to change the settings on my audio here because it's- It's sounding a bit crap. And that can't be possibly me. I've got it in the mode where I should be able to hear you properly. You've got it in the Tim beatbox mode.

Yeah, which is also known as mute. I'll give you a clue. It starts like this. I'll see if I can put in a bit of the tune over the top. Okay, yeah. I can't do the mm as well. Yeah, as well. Oh, I know it now.

I know it. On and on and on. He goes. Binston, Beep, Boun, Bennet, Bin. How does it feel? How does it feel? How does it feel? Oh, Stranger in Moscow. Very good.

Very good. Okay. It took you a while. No, you sang the song to me. You sang the words to the song, which helped, which I don't think was in the spirit of your beat idea. No, it's not. This is my podcast idea is called The Human Beat Box.

Okay. Where people come on and do their favourite beat and talk about why it's their favourite beat and imitate their favourite beat. And if you like, there could be a competition where the person has to guess what the beat is right from the start. I do this subconsciously all the time. I just find myself doing a beat and I do that one all the time. I just find myself doing a beat. And I do that one all the time as well. I'm not a particularly big fan of the song, but it's just one that comes to mind explicitly.

Yeah, it's got a cool start, that song. Do you want me to do the next one? See if you can guess that. Go on then, yep. Yep. It's a ballad as well. Nah. Oh, right, yeah.

Streets of Philadelphia. Very good, very good. Yes, Bruce Springsteen. Well, again, you had to sing the words to me before I could get it. I'm saying very good beat, Tim. I'm okay at knowing the lyrics to the song. Lyrics are a bit easier. The human singer of songs is not quite the same as the human beatbox, but all right.

There's another idea called Tim sings a song to Brady and Brady goes, oh, I know that song. Yeah. One more from your collection, right, from the time. Okay. This one's quiet for a long time and then it goes. Yeah. Oh, that's Money for Nothing.

Yeah. There's a guitar riff that comes in at some point. You're going to hate that because I can now put your guitar riff together with a drum solo. I can join the two together just like this. Oh, the gift that keeps on giving. Gradually, over time, Tim is getting human beatbox every part of that song. So I can put it together and do like a big jigsaw puzzle. The irony is I'm better at making the drums with my mouth

that I am playing the guitar, playing the guitar. It's debatable, but all right. In terms of an idea, I mean, I found it quite fun. I don't know what the listeners will think. I mean, the one plus point I will give it is it's very suited to the medium It's very good as an audio experience I'd love to do one back to you

But just nothing's coming to me And I don't really define many songs by their beat Nah I've got nothing at the moment The human beatbox Alright Give me one more Not from my CD collection. Oh, let me just, I've got.

Does human beatbox have to only be like, can it only be the drum component of songs or can you beatbox other aspects of the song? No, I think it's got to be, I think it's just got to be the beat. I think if you start doing the bow, bow, bow, bow, you're doing the riff and that's a totally different podcast idea, which is what I'll do in the next episode of Gun Made Podcast. Okay. And then we'll move on to the synth parts and then background vocals and triangle and all that kind of stuff as well. Okay, okay, here's one. Here's one.

This may have been in – I don't think it was in your collection, actually. It's very minimal. It's just like. Is that just someone like hitting the hi-hat? Yes. Right. Which is very, I guess that's maybe a little bit too hard. What was it?

Sing it to me and then I'll get it again in the usual way. Everybody hurts sometimes. Is it Everybody Hurts by R.E.M.? Yes. Very good, man. Hang on, let me try Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer and see if you get that one. Would you describe beatboxing as one of your strengths? Oh, look, I'm more humble than that, man.

I wouldn't say that I was up there with that, what's his name, Winslow from the Police Academy movies. He's a little bit better at it than me. But look, so I would say no, no, I'm not very good at beatboxing. But I do think I've perfected that Stranger in Moscow by Michael Jackson. I think that comes to mind like an earworm and I do it over and over and over. And I think I'm very i'm very happy with that one i'm less happy with every other one well do you want to see us out then with a stranger in moscow again it's time for a bit of a recollection of Tim's recent trip to England.

It's time for another episode of Tim in England. Play the music. Tim in England. Okay, Tim, we're about to walk into a garden, an English, it's like a park. Yeah. But they often call them gardens here in the UK. And there's just little parks dotted around amongst residential areas with trees and a pathway. And so we're walking into a lovely quaint English garden. My boy loves coming and playing in this

garden. Oh, this is lovely, yes. The thing I love are the old trees. You have such lovely old oak trees and things like that in these sort of parks. Look at, well here's, you're going to like this. Look at this tree here. Look what we've got here. Oh wow, look a little door down the bottom. Someone's put a little doorway at the bottom of this tree so it looks like a magic faraway tree, like a fairy lives in there. Do you want to open it? Sometimes there are things in there. I don't know if there will be today. There we go. There's a tiny little latch which is too small for my fingers. Nothing in there? No little doll or fairy latch, which is too small for my fingers. Nothing in there?

No little doll or fairy or anything? No. No, there's a leaf. Just leaves. Just debris. Obviously out somewhere. That's gorgeous. I'm trying to think of the Winnie the Pooh character that lives in a tree.

Is it Rabbit lives in the bottom of a tree? I can't remember. The bottom of the Magic Faraway Tree. Who's at the bottom of the Magic Faraway Tree? It's not the Angry Pixie, is it? I think the Angry Pixie might live at the bottom of the Magic faraway tree. Who's at the bottom of the magic faraway tree? It's not the angry pixie, is it? I think the angry pixie might live at the bottom of the magic faraway tree. Matt Riding gets upset when Dame Washalot throws... Oh, everyone gets upset when Dame Washalot throws the water down.

Except Moonface, who lives above that. Yes. He's very wise. Saucepan man, Silky, Mr. What's-His-Name. I always think this is a very magic faraway tree, this little garden here. That's true. On the way back, we'll go into the bookshop and I'll buy something like that. Love the magic faraway tree.

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's just the word enchanting just fits that English part. It's the enchanted wood, isn't it? Well, there we go. Yes, that's right. But even the word enchanting, I just think, well, something must be happening in English. And there's a little bit of cover in here because of the big trees from the drizzle. Maybe that's why English love their parks so much.

You get away from the drizzle. We've got people walking their dogs, bringing their children, some wildflowers. Oh, lovely. There's usually sort of a slightly scary part of the garden as well. You know, like where it gets a bit dark and where perhaps, you know. I remember in Australia, there was a park we used to go to and there was a little treed area like that area over to the left where no one would ever go and play.

And there was a rumour that like a murdered girl had been found there once. Completely untrue. But it made me completely terrified to go anywhere near it. Absolutely. Yes. Let's go over here. I know this was our former dog walker. I know this dog walker.

This is our dog walker and dog trainer. So I say, hey, Kaz, nice and rainy, isn't here. I know this is our former dog walker. I know this dog walker. This is our dog walker. Oh, right. And dog trainer. So I'll say, hey, Kaz. Nice and rainy, isn't it? I know. Look, we're already talking about the weather. This is my friend, Tim. Hi, Tim.

Hello. How are you going? I'm Tim from Australia. We're making little recordings of what it's like to walk around in England today. And I said, oh, look, everyone's walking their dogs. And then I saw you. How many dogs have you got with you? Are these your dogs?

Yeah. Well, these are just three I'm walking. So Gracie and Cody are at the top. Yeah. It's just there. Yeah. So we're doing a lap around. See you soon.

See you. Bye-bye. Lovely to meet you. Winnie's doing well. Yeah, she's doing well. Still barking a bit. She might need a bit more training, but we'll get there. Brilliant thing about Kaz there, of course, is that she's wearing wellies, as you call them.

Yes. Like, we call them gumboots in Australia, but they're, yeah, very English, wellies. Yeah. People wear them for all sorts of things, whereas we wear them only in the garden. Oh, no, we wear, the main place I wear my wellies is to the beach. Well, there you go. That is very English. You would never wear your wellies to the beach in Australia.

No, no, yeah, we always, we're going to the beach, well, pack your wellies. wear your wellies to the beach in Australia. No, no, yeah, we're going to the beach, pack your wellies. Because it's going to be a rocky, wet, cold experience rather than a sandy, hot experience. Really lovely state. We're coming to the end of the garden now. We've walked through the garden. And there's a garden wall with a gate, which is in itself a very English thing, I think. Stone wall, stone wall garden. Lovely. Okay, Tim, here's another very, very English experience. And that is the English seaside. And I know being from Australia and from Adelaide, you're not unaccustomed to a nice beach, but this is... English-do beaches are different a lot of the time. And this is classic. This is like... We're at a beach called Clevedon Beach,

and it's covered in rock or shingle. We call it a shingle beach. It's grey. We're on the Bristol Channel. On a good day, you can see across to Wales, but today, because it's so miserly and grey, we can't even see to the other side of the channel. Oh, we can just see.

We can just see Wales there on the horizon. A bit of dark. Yeah, that dark land over there. You can see whales off the Adelaide coast as well, but not the country there. No, the creature. So let's walk down this little stairway and we'll walk down onto the beach. Can I just say, when you say beach, like a significant like a beach is essentially sand and water. Here, there are literally no grains of sand.

There is no sand whatsoever. Well, a beach to you is sand and water. A beach to English people is this a lot of the time. And on a nice day, people will be down here with like towels and picnic rugs and umbrellas. They sit on this, do they? Yeah, it'll be full of people. It'll be heaving on the weekend, on a nice weekend. This will be absolutely heaving

with people golly gosh and do they play beach cricket well no you can't play beach cricket on this of course no but uh let's step down onto the shingle hopefully people can hear it let me there's the stones my little boy loves coming down here and picking up stones and throwing them and putting them into rock pools oh yeah skipping stones is fantastic so being from the sandy beaches of australia this is you're non-plussed by this are you look as i've said before my favorite time at the beach is winter actually i love going down and just being near the beach and um but still the sand is a part of that so it is this i do like this i like this i like the idea of coming sitting in the car nearby or

at a cafe reading it does have a lovely ambience to it it's just in summer it'd annoy me i'd want to get on the sand and run around and rush into the water yeah but it's a head well yeah different way people do swim here but this is not a good swimming beach, partly because you've got to get through all that seaweed and mud and sludge to get to the water. And also the water here in the Bristol Channel is a bit, it's a bit dirty and muddy and churned up a bit. It's not a beautiful, you rarely get blue water here. You sometimes do, but it's quite rare. So I wouldn't, I wouldn't swim here.

I have to say, of of course the english people are not this isn't a life choice like this is the beach they've been given it's not like they went they saw the sand and went no no we'll go with the stones yeah it's like this just is the beach and this is where you come to to cool off and be and about two hours from here you start getting like devon and cornwall and then you get some of the world's best beaches for massive sandy beaches like australian level all right yeah i was on one just a few days ago that was like as good as any And then you get some of the world's best beaches for massive sandy beaches, like Australian level sandy beaches. I was on one just a few days ago that was like as good as any Australian beach. But they are few and far between in the UK.

And this sort of shingly beach, a bit rocky, cragginess, all seaweed and stuff. But when tide is high and it's stormy, you'll get waves crashing into that wall behind you there and the water going onto the road. Oh, I love that. Yeah, that's great. That's brilliant. There is a novel I like called On Chesil Beach, and that's an English novel. And I do love that.

That sounds lovely. Like Chesil Beach standing there. That gives me this feeling. And that's a shingly beach, isn't it, Chesil Beach? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's barely a novel, is it? It's just like a novella. It won some award.

It was always controversial because it was so short. People said, should they really be was always controversial because it was so short people said should they really be getting novel awards because it was so short i'm not sure if it won the it didn't win the booker i think it was nominated though it's a film as well if people want to look at it i haven't seen the film though and the other distinctive thing of course about clevedon beach is we have the clevedon pier next to us which is a beautiful metal pier not a wooden pier yeah right and it is the only grade one listed pier in all of the united kingdom what does grade one mean like top level like maximum protection maximum you know super duperness right so so an upstairs pier rather than a downstairs yeah it's like number it's absolute you know absolute tops is everything in england either upper class or lower yeah we

got the first class stamps second class class stamps, first class heritage listing. That's beautiful. I love it's got that, it's a faded green. Is it the copper or the metal that goes that green colour? Yeah, it is. The metal has gone a lovely, lovely worn. Is it patina? I don't know what you call it.

I don't know, but it looks good. I'll take a picture of Tim standing here on the beach looking. Yeah, pull your trousers up. Wakes the trousers up. On the shing shingly beach cleaved in pair behind him loving it loving it all right so there we go a little walk in the gardens and uh down to the seaside did that bring back nice memories for you tim it did it did, I'd forgotten we'd recorded that one. That was lovely in the wood and on Chesil Beach. Beautiful. Lovely.

Do you know what we recorded when we were there? I encouraged you to pick up some stones to take back to your girls. And I may have or may not have said that occasionally my little boy picks up stones and brings them home. And then you made some wisecrack about, are you allowed to take stones home from the beach? And I confidently said, yes, of course you can. And then we went off into a whole conversation about places we'd taken stones from. But when I was editing it last night, it turns out that you can't take stones from English beaches.

It's illegal. Oh, no. Yeah. So, I didn't- some of the things we said I didn't want committed to audio. So, I had to cut that bit short. But we're talking about them now. You're confessing something now. No, no, no, no, no.

You didn't take any stones, though. And I've never taken stones from a beach. No one's ever taken stones from a beach. It's never happened. All right. We talked about it, like, jokingly. Ah, right, okay. Like, you know, like, imagine if someone did it.

But, no, we didn't do it. Yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah. It's illegal to take stones from UK beaches. I don't know if they would prosecute a two-year-old, but just to be on the safe side, my two-year-old has never done it either.

And there's not a little shelf in my house full of stones from beaches either. There's definitely not one of those. One of those bobbies will come and get you. That would be such a great episode of Tim in England if there had been the member of the constabulary on the door saying, hello, hello, hello. What's going on here? I promise you Tim in England is about to get a little bit more exciting. Those were the first two we recorded. The one last time

at the post box and this one we recorded as we walked around. But we're going to up the ante soon. There's going to be pubs, KFC, graveyards, scones and tea, elderly women, Tim flirting with elderly women at a coffee shop. We're going to have all of that coming soon. It's a very English thing to do. If England is anything, it is elderly ladies.

That's what England is. Tim, I don't know how good the audio is yet because I haven't listened back, but Tim's conversation with the elderly ladies while we're having tea and scones was one of my highlights of the trip. So I hope it's well recorded. Tim was pulling out all the moves. I tell you something we haven't done for a long time, another segment. And there's been a little bit of like, I think people are missing it. So I think maybe we'll have a little comeback.

It's time for... Spoon of the Week. You got Spoon, Tim, from the Hein Family Collection? I do. Left to you by your father. When your dad died, was there anything in his will specifically about the spoons, or have you just kind of taken them, you know, of your own volition?

Well, it's the first thing that came to mind when he died. Finally, they're mine is the thought I had. Right. It was like sort of this succession for spoons. That's right. I rushed home from the hospital and straight out to the shed. Just like upended the container over my head. Like they just poured down over me and I went,

finally, they're mine. Like that money scene in Indecent Proposal, rolling around in the bed with spoons all over you. With shoes on and spoons. Yes, it was a glorious moment. And I, no, look, these were up in our house for many, many years. And it was only when- On the rack. On the rack, yes, on racks.

And so I can't remember at what stage I, I can't remember if when mum moved after dad died if we packed them up then or if they had already been packed up into a container i can't remember i think they were already in a container for some reason they had already been archived um yeah probably to preserve them uh yeah so they were just in a sort of a container in the shed yeah i can't remember but anyway it ended up at my place because mum moved into a smaller place did you like did you actually get your mum's permission like did you say mum can i take the spoons or did you just take them no i just took them i just thought all these like i took yeah yeah like i took all the

other i was cleaning out the shed and i took's right. Who needs money when you've got spoons? That's right. I took all the tools, like all the, you know, drills and hardware and all that kind of stuff that was in the shed. Was your dad much of a handyman? I don't remember ever seeing your dad doing many handy things. Oh, no, no, very much. You would have seen him very much in the latter part of his life,

but no, no, very much a handyman, seen him very much in the latter part of his life, but no, no, very much a handyman. Yeah, particularly when I was young in Tarelgon, he did a lot of work and he had a lot of tools. And so there were a lot, it's really funny, all the tools, you know, things that I'd bought him for Father's Day, like 15 years, 20 years before, and it's like, ah, that's my drill now. Great. There we go.

Circle of life. And what spoon from the collection have you dug out today to share with us? There'll be pictures on the video and website, as always, people, if you want to go and have a look for yourself. It's not one that I've come across in the spoon collection before, but it is a very famous quintessential Australian spoon. It's from the dog on the tucker box now the dog a tucker box in australian yodi australian parlance is like a lunch box a box you take to you know for your lunch at work and tucker tucker means food tucker means food in australia that's right yeah so a tucker box but the dog on the tucker box is a small statue which is just outside Sydney

or on the way to Sydney if you're driving from Melbourne or Adelaide. And it goes back, I think there's an old myth, isn't there, a story about a man that was injured and the dog was very faithful and stayed near him and sat on his tucker box and minded his food. There's something about the loyalty of a dog. Wasn't it from a poem or a song or something? Probably. Bush poetry or something like that.

Yeah, I'm just having a little, I'm having a bit of a wiki now. It's a historical monument located at Snake Gully, eight kilometres from Gundagai. It's near a big highway, isn't it? I've been to it. Hmm. Gully, eight kilometres from Gundagai. It's near a big highway, isn't it? I've been to it. Yeah, there's like a place to stop off and eat and fill up the car with petrol, all that kind of stuff. The inspiration for the statue has been traced to a doggerel poem, Bullocky Bill, published anonymously in 1857.

Other references state the poem was published in 1880 in the Gundagai Times. But confirmation is hard to find. The poem humorously describes a series of misfortunes faced by a bullock driver culminating in his dog either sitting on or spoiling the food in his tucker box. An Australian colloquialism for a box that holds food, similar to a lunchbox but larger. for a box that holds food similar to a lunchbox but larger uh so yeah you can go and see this little statue monument of a of a of a dog sitting on a tucker box so and obviously they sell spoons of the monument and that's what tim has here a spoon which has a little dog sitting on a tucker box up on the handle at the top there as the decorative part. Looks very much like the statue.

It does. Well, it's clearly the same thing, but it's... What does it say underneath the word tucker? Oh, underneath it says Gundagai, New South Wales, which is the nearest big town. There's a very famous Australian song called The Road to Gundagai. Do you remember that song? I do know The Road to Gundagai, yes. There's a shack heading back to an old forgotten track on the road to Gundagai. Do you remember that song? I do know the Road to Gundagai, yes. There's a shack heading back to an old forgotten track on the road to Gundagai.

Because the dog on the tucker box statue is near Gundagai, I thought, oh, maybe that is from that song, but it's not. It's from this other poem. Yes. Okay. And in terms of how this spoon came into the family collection, presumably your dad was just doing the drive, that famous drive between Sydney and Melbourne along that highway

and stopped in at Gundagai. Presumably, yes, presumably he did. I have to say from a pure spoon appreciation point of view, it's pretty crap. Like it's flat on the back, so it's not three-dimensional. It's three-dimensional, of course, but it's, you know, with so it's not three-dimensional. It's more of a – it's three-dimensional, of course, but it's, you know, with a flat back, a false back. Flat, like a smooth flat back.

So on the other side, the dog hasn't got texture, and so it's not like a – it's not a true representation of the statue. No, no, it's not, no. More of a front-on depiction of the statue. It's pretty bendy. I could easily bend this in half. Oh, yeah, cheap spoon it does it feels like it feels like a pretty cheap spoon to be honest okay no and nice to see you return a

spoon of the week as well oh it's been a long time too long too long too long too long so this is the part of the podcast where we quickly announce the names of some of our patreon supporters who are going to be sent prizes in the mail. Tim, I will announce the winners. And do you want to do a little bit of beatboxing for each one? Sure. See if I can come up with a new beat for every person. A new beat for each one.

Okay. So we're going to send one of our leather Australian nut key rings to Luke T from Quebec in Canada. That's just for you, Luke. key rings to Luke T from Quebec in Canada. Luke T. Luke T. Luke T. Luke T. That's just for you, Luke. That's the Luke T beat. What have you got?

This is a good name to beat to. Ben Z from Nebraska. He's getting a spoon. Ben Z. Ben Z. Ben Z. Ben Z. I see what you did there.

I see what you did.. I see what you did. People are probably sampling these, you know. These are going to appear. No doubt. No doubt. I'm expecting fully produced songs to be bounced back to us in the next few weeks. We're going to send Spoon of the Week collector cards too. I'll do all three together and you can give them like a combined beat.

Robin from Wakefield in the UK. Elliot from Alaska. And Joe from Kentucky Elliot and Kentucky Are very tempting to put together Elliot, where's the first one from? Sorry, I Well, Robin was from Wakefield in the United Kingdom That's not so beatboxy

But you've got Alaska in there Elliot's from Alaska Elliot Kentucky Elliot Kentucky Elliot Kentucky Ah, I see you're turning the actual words into beats Elliot's from Alaska. Elliot-a-gat-gat-y. Elliot-a-gat-gat-y. Elliot-a-gat-gat-y. Ah, I see. You see, you're turning the actual words into beats. Yes, I know.

This is like a whole new type of music. I think that's sort of like six, eight time or something. All right. Thank you very much. And thank you to those people for supporting us on Patreon. If you would like to have a prize sent to you, if you want to be in contention for that, go to patreon.com slash unmade FM.

Patreon supporters also will get access to the request room. We have a cracking episode coming up today. I hope you're supporting us. But even if you're not, we love you too. Tim, time for an idea from me. Oh, all right. I have here a really basic, simple idea. Low-hanging fruit.

In fact, it's so basic, we may have done it before. I don't know. Or if you're feeling energised and creative, I've got another idea that I can put to you, but it's going to require some energy from both of us. Right. Okay, let's do the big one. Let's do the energy idea?

Yes, yes. Go on. All right. My idea for a podcast, Tim, is called Imagine the Phone Call. And this is imagining real-life events and things that have happened. Maybe some of them happened before the era of telephones. If that's the case, we'll pretend that's not the case. And I like to imagine a phone call between two people as this event or moment or thing unfolds. And I think a good way for us to do it will be

to role play one, because that would be the idea of this podcast. It would be a bit of role play. A bit of acting. A bit of pretending. A bit of pantomime. Got a military helicopter going past my house. Hang on a second. Very occasionally happens. So, Tim second. Very occasionally happens. So, Tim, let us role play. I would like you to pretend to be the great film director, Steven Spielberg. I can do that. I am going to pretend to be the fabulous composer, John Williams.

Right, yes. And here's the scenario. A few weeks ago, you showed me a rough cut of Jurassic Park and asked me if I would be able to score the movie for you. And now we have gotten on the phone together and you're asking me where things are at with the composition. Okay? So you can take things away, Tim.

We'll go ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. We're on the phone. Take it away, Mr. Spielberg. Are we doing accents or not? You think perhaps we skip accents? I would think not. I would think not. But you can try if you want.

My accents aren't as strong as my beats, and my beats are not very strong. I'm going to sound more like John Williamson than John Williams if you hear my Australian accent. But yeah, I'm John Williams. Go ahead, Mr Spielberg, however you want to do it. G'day, John. How are you? It's Steve here.

Hi, Stephen. Yeah, I'm going really well. It's the film you showed me a couple of weeks ago, Jurassic Park. It's really here. Hi, Stephen. Yeah, I'm going really well. It's the film you showed me a couple of weeks ago, Jurassic Park. It's really stuck with me. Those dinosaurs, wow. They were really something. I think you're on a winner here.

Thank you. Yes, yes. Well, that's good. I'm also here. I'm in Poland at the moment filming Schindler's List while I'm editing Jurassic Park. Schindler's List? That sounds fun. What's that about?

We'll come to that a bit later on. Okay. But if you've got any slower pieces, hold them over. Okay. Because just coming back to Jurassic Park, which I'm editing at the moment, how are we going with the tune? Have you got something that's come to mind? I've got, I think I've got something.

Oh. I've got something. I've got something. Would you mind if I human beatbox it to you? Yes, I was just about to say, yes. Please either you get or get Tim Hine to send us a beatbox version. I want you to imagine this, all right? You ready? Okay.

Everything's like quite mellow and it goes, but then it goes like this. What do you think? I think that has quite a bit of promise, yes. I like it. Are you sure you didn't steal that from Home Alone or something? No, no, it just came to me in the night. I was just imagining all these dinosaurs, and it was all like, you know, that scene at the end where you show those pterodactyls flying off the island?

Yes. You can have it playing then. That's right. Actually, I'm going to replace them with birds. You're mistaken. All right. Because it all ties back to the fact that dinosaurs turned into birds. So I've dropped the whole pterodactyl idea.

Oh, I totally missed that. I missed that point. Yeah. But still, I think that could play there. It could play in a few other places. Just give it to me again. What was it? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like that.

That's good. That's good. I think that's really good. I'd get, like, people with, like, you know, violins and trumpets and all that stuff to play it so it sounds, like, more posh. I wouldn't just do it myself with my mouth. Oh, no, no. I think, no, no, no.

I've just been recording this call. I think we just use this. I think that sounds fantastic. I mean, I'm all right with that. I'd be all right with that. What are the words there? Na, na, na, na, na. Na, na, na.

Ah, that's good. Na, na, na. Na, na, na. Like that. Ah, that's good. But I na, na, na, like that. But I could put lyrics to it if you wanted. I could have something like, you know, say something about dinosaurs. It's hard because not a lot of stuff rhymes with dinosaur. I did try that originally.

But in the end, I decided lyrics because I was going to have like, I was going to, when you first see that big brachiosaur or brontosaur at the start with the big long neck, I was thinking of having something going like, it's the dinosaur. It's the dinosaur. But then I thought, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's more like less is more. Like, don't say the word dinosaur.

Just use music. Yes, actually, that's good because we're showing the dinosaur. So we don't need to hear someone say, say the word dinosaur. Just use music. Yes, actually, that's good. Because we're showing the dinosaur. So we don't need to hear someone say, here's the dinosaur. You don't need to say it. Because people will see it. They'll probably be saying themselves, oh, look, it's a dinosaur. Yeah, no, that's good. So if I just put the music there, people can almost write the lyrics in their own head.

I was. See, when I sent you the initial idea, remember, it was. But I think that's a bit down because it's quite an uplifting moment. And the dinosaurs aren't the baddies even though they eat people. No. I mean, for some of those parts later in the film where the velociraptors start ripping people to pieces, I am going for something a bit more dramatic and, like, less inspirational. But I think we should come back to, like, the nice stuff.

I think this is going to – I think it'll work. I think it sounds pretty good. Have you got any other bits? Like, maybe – yeah, have you got anything else? Maybe I'm thinking about when the helicopter flies onto the island for the first time. Yeah, for that bit I was thinking... Like that. That's good. Like jaunty.

Nice, nice. Yeah, no, that's good. That's very good. It's a little bit like what you did with Raiders of the Lost Ark, but it's a bit more jaunty and up in the air. No, that's right. Yeah, I'm still not happy with Raiders of the Lost Ark. I still think we should have gone with my rap concept.

It was a very hip-hop oriented movie initially, but we went away from that. I know. I mean, maybe you were right. Maybe you were right. But I think this time I'm on the money. What are the lyrics of that one? Dun, dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun, dun. I think this time I'm on the money. What are the lyrics of that one? Da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- Yeah. Well, those two bits are very good. Yeah. No, that's nice, John.

I like what you've done there. Good work yet again. Yeah. All right. That's probably some of your best work since the... That was good because that was the last time we sort of did a whole, you know, an animal sort of, you know, killing humans kind of film. I feel like I can tell you this now because it's been long enough since the film came out.

Yeah. That Jaws music, I reckon that took me about five minutes to write. Did it? Seriously. I didn't even try. I sent it to you as a joke. I thought, oh, Stephen's just going to laugh. And then you bloody used it in the film and everyone loves it.

It was good. It was much better than what you initially sent, which is what we used for Raiders of the Lost Ark. I just didn't buy it. Whenever the shark came in and it was... People, it was like looking to celebrate the shark rather than run from it. It was too happy.

The shark's march, I called that. The shark's March, I called that. The Shark's March. And then it blew up at the end and we went. Anyway. Anyway. Have you thought about, though, a musical motif for that bit, like at the end of Return of the Jedi, where that ghost of the shark just appears next to anakin and yoda i'm thinking i'm still thinking of bringing that in george

wants to bring it in a later edition he's always fiddling with the films but i think we keep i don't even listen to a word george says he doesn't know a thing about making movies but uh yeah well that's pretty good all right happy with that all right well thanks david and keep me up to date with this shindlers this thing because i've got a few i've got a few ideas for that as well i'm thinking we could revisit maybe the close encounters thing yeah i see what you're saying no no no this is where i think the hip-hop is going to work really really well you anyway i'll look i'll send you a copy of the film. Tell me about the film later.

But, yeah. No, no, no. Send me the hip-hop. Let's get this Jurassic Park stuff out of the way. All right. All right. See you later. See you.

See you, mate. So that's my podcast idea, Tim. That's a pretty good idea. I think that's a great idea. That was a lot of fun. Phone calls. How many phone calls in history could we do? I don't know. How about. That was a lot of fun. Phone calls. How many phone calls in history could we do? I don't know.

How about this one? It's 1912. You're the chief executive of White Star Line, and your classy new ship, the Titanic, is just about to finish its maiden voyage from across the Atlantic and arrive in New York, and I'm one of your employees giving you a call early in the morning. All right?

Oh, right. Okay. So you... Hey, boss, it's me. It's Jonathan here. Jono, mate, how are you going? Mate, I mean sound. That's all right.

Where are you guys at? I have good news and bad news. Give me the good news. The Titanic is insured. Right. Why would that matter? Well, it seems that, like, you know that whole unsinkable thing we were going with? No, not the case. What do unsinkable thing we were going with? No.

Not the case. What do you mean? What are you talking about? The ship sank. Sank? What do you mean it sank? The ship can't sink? It's made of iron, sir.

I assure you it can. Look at that. Set me up for that. Really? Wow. Gosh. It's a mathematical certainty. Well, that is going to make an incredible film one day.

It will make a good film. In fact, we'll probably make more from the film than we will from building the thing. God. Oh, jeez, Louise. That's terrible. Were any souls lost? Yes, I believe. I believe many souls were lost. Oh, dear. Mainly

blokes. Oh, the women and children were saved. That's something. The women and children. But the band? The band didn't make it. Did they keep playing, though? Because they were paid for the full trip. They did.

They did. They kept playing. They did. I checked. The first thing I did, first thing I asked. Tim, have you got a historic moment you think we should do? The first thing that came to mind when you were about to tell me that second idea was the idea of the phone call between Kamala Harris and Joe Biden about I'd be ready to take over if you stood aside. However, I don't think you should stay aside because you're a great.

However, if you did, I would. You know what I mean? Like that sort of we're recording this, obviously, when it's just been announced that Joe Biden won't be running for president. And Kamala Harris reluctantly taking over. Reluctantly, yes. Very reluctantly. Forced to serve. Great political moments, yeah.

I like that. Anyway, that's my idea. I think it's a great idea. And there's obviously a lot of comedy in it, which is where we took it, obviously, because we were a bit silly. Yeah. And that's a fun of comedy in it, which is where we took it, obviously, because we were a bit silly. Yeah. And that's a fun way to do it. But particularly, I like going back before history. My idea is very contemporary, which is a little bit predictable.

But going way back is a really good idea. And it does. I mean, you know, the Titanic sinking is a terrible thing. Lots of people died. But it's long enough ago. It's long enough ago that I think you are allowed to kind of treat it more as history rather than a tragedy, current day tragedy. Yeah. Yeah.

No, it's a good idea. You could go right back to obviously biblical times or to the Roman Empire, which is also biblical times, or other moments since over the last two millennia. Yeah, that's a good idea. I would like the idea of doing like Bible stories. Like, all right, let's do a Bible story. Ready? You are Jonah. Right.

And you've just washed up on the beach after your whole adventure. Yes. And I'm your mate, Dave, who you want to come and pick you up. So you've found a phone box, like, by the seafront, and you've phoned me up to come and pick you up because you've got no transport. You've been through this stuff. Hello, this is Dave. Dave, mate, how are you? Is that you, Jonah? It's me, yes, mate, how are you?

Is that you, Jonah? It's me, yes, Joe. How are you? What's going on? I thought you were last I heard you were off on a ship or something. Oh, mate, I fell overboard. I fell overboard. They threw me overboard.

They threw you overboard? No, well, they threw me, yes. Well, hmm. Why did they do that? Because I asked. You asked them? I was supposed to be going to Nineveh. I went to Tarshish instead.

There was a storm. It's my fault. I was an idiot. They threw me overboard. How can a storm be your fault? It's the weather. I'm such a jerk. I'm such a jerk.

God, God. What was the... The storm was your fault? It was my fault, yes. I disobeyed God. I disobeyed God. I disobeyed God. You disobeyed God? What the hell did you do that for?

I know, I know, I know. You should never – I know what you've always told me, don't disobey God. But I did. So you're overboard. So what happened then? So I – well, thankfully, I was in the middle of the ocean, but a whale came along. You wouldn't believe it.

A whale came along and swallowed me. Was it a whale or a big fish? It was a big fish, but his name was Wally, so I called him whale. You called him whale. Right. Yeah. So what did it like, does that mean it started like digesting you and stuff? Or like what?

No, it was a bit. Did it hurt? No, it was like in Empire Strikes Back where they're sort of inside the belly of the thing. But they don't realise they're inside the belly of the thing. You know what I mean? I love that film. Yeah. Right.

So it was like that. I was just, there was like there was air and stuff and you could walk around there was a coffee machine and i was actually reasonably comfortable for several days three days actually three nights was the fish like could you talk to the fish or communicate with it or were you just like sitting in the fish no i was in the fish the fish fishes aren't like you know sentient like i can't you can't talk to a fish. I mean, God obviously talked to the fish because I feel like God probably, you know, got the last laugh by getting me picked up that way. But no, I'm inside the big fish and I'm there.

What did it smell like? It was pretty fishy. Really? It was pretty fishy. Yes. Was there other stuff in there that the fish had swallowed? Coffee machine, as I said. Also, well, no, I mean, I didn't have, there were other bits and pieces,

stuff that gets thrown overboard and so forth. Were there like those like skeletons of fish like you see in cartoons? Yes, yes. You know, where you see its ribs and its head? There were skeletons of things. There was a bottle with like, it said like, you know, that there was a thing inside it that looked like a memory stick with the unmade podcast written on it. It looked like it had been thrown overboard as well.

But that was all. And so what happened then? Did the fish like poo you out or how did you get out of the fish? Threw me up, threw me up. So I think after a while, you know how you sort of touch the back of your tongue and it makes you throw up well i touched the back of his tongue and he made me throw like gag reflexed yeah that's right yeah and did you get spat out like into the water or where did you get yes yes pretty close to shore though and i just sort of you know clamber to shore and i'm i think i smell gross which is why i'm called i need to come over and have a

shower okay um and then i need to go to Nivinava. I'm not disobeying God again. This is, he's, I'll tell you what, he's pretty convincing. Why does God want you to go there anyway? To warn them, actually, because they're, oh, well, they're being bad, and he loves them, and their badness is going to lead to destruction, and he wants to save them, and apparently I'm to be their messenger for some reason. So, yeah, I know God probably won't save them because, you know, they're pretty bad.

But why doesn't God just tell them himself like he told you to go there? Well, this is his way. He seems to talk to lots of people these days. Wouldn't it be more believable coming from like God himself? What do you mean from the sky? He's sending me. Doesn't he use burning bushes and stuff like that as well? Why is a burning bush more convincing than a guy that's been-

Some dude who claims he was eaten by a fish. He's been eaten by a fish. Look, it's the story I'm going with, all right? I'm going- He's changed my mind and I'm going. Why did you want to go to Tarshish instead? What's there? Were you going to pick to Tarshish instead? What's there? Were you going to pick up some power converters?

That's right. Very good. Yeah. No, so I'm going back to Nineveh before the Empire comes in destruction. Anyway, come and pick me up. I need you to pick me up. Where are you? I'm just outside Nineveh.

All right. I'm at Tajish. I'll be right there. There we go. Nice work. Could do that all day long. It is actually quite good. It's a good road trip kind of game to just do a story.

You just keep going and going. I like that a lot. What's it called? What's the idea called? Imagine the phone call. Imagine the phone call. Yeah, very good. So Tim and I are now going to retire to the request room.

We've got lots of questions and suggestions and things from Patreon supporters. We'll be answering those questions, all sorts of interesting things, possibly some singing. There's another song request here, Tim. Some interesting questions, actually. Very good questions. So well worth it. Go to patreon.com slash unmadefm to find out more about listening

to the little bit of extra audio. And there will also be some of my wife with her lovely English TV presenter voice saying things that have been requested. Be still my beating heart. Some interesting requests, including a piece of baseball commentary, a famous piece of baseball commentary and a Harry Potter spell. If that's enough to tempt you over to the request room. Nice. See you there, people.