The Unmade Podcast - 15: The Narrowboat Episode

Episode Date: August 2, 2018

Today we're on a narrowboat navigating the Chesterfield Canal - but other topics include preppers, tattoos, and making a fortune on Amazon. Support the show by getting yourself a souvenir postcard from our trip - https://www.bradyharanblog.com/unmade-podcast/narrowboat-postcard Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://redd.it/93xvpa USEFUL LINKS Journey with Jono - YouTube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/c/journeywithjono Jono on Twitter - https://twitter.com/journeyjono

Hey everyone, it's Brady here with a bit of a message to set up today's episode. Basically, I've had a podcast idea for a little while now which involves going out on a canal boat or a narrow boat. Not a lot of people realise there's this huge network of man-made canals in the UK. They do go through cities but mainly all through the countryside. They used to be used by industry but these days they're used mainly by holiday makers or other people who live their lives on canal boats. One such person is my mate Jono. So we went along and met him to discuss this podcast idea.

We joined him for a whole day out on his narrowboat. While we were there, we also asked Jono about some other podcast ideas and chatted them through. So you can kind of consider this to be like a normal unmade podcast episode sprinkled among our waterway adventures. Now, a couple of quick points before we start. First, apologies for my voice. I was a little bit under the weather the day we recorded, but I can assure you I was feeling much better than I sound. And second, if you'd like to get an idea what all of this looks like, the YouTube version of this episode on the Unmade Podcast YouTube channel features footage taken from the front of Jono's

boat, mostly along the exact piece of canal we're traveling on. You don't need to watch it. This is a podcast. It's made for audio, and I do my best to describe everything in words and sounds. But the video, well, it's just something extra. It's kind of pretty, and also it might help you better understand how the locks are working when we get to those. Anyway, no more spoilers. Let's get on with the show. All right, Tim, we're at West Stock with Lock in, I think, are we in Lincolnshire? I think we're in Lincolnshire or Nottinghamshire. We're near the River Trent and it's this big water basin full of narrowboats and canalboats. First impressions? Oh, this is cool. I love this. This is gorgeous.

It's gorgeous to see them all together, but I'm looking at each of them and thinking how beautiful and unique they are. And sort of suitably English. I know you like some Englishness when you come to England. This is pretty English, isn't it? This is pretty quintessentially English. Well, if you might imagine what I guess comes to mind when you think of a barge, you're thinking of something that's a couple of metres wide and that would be 10 metres long, maybe longer, maybe 15 metres long. I'd say longer, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And they're enclosed and you can get inside them. They look beautiful. They're like little long, thin caravans or trailers, as some folks call them on on as boats so they're also known as narrow boats and usually each one's been quite personalized they'll have their own paint job they'll have their own name we're standing next to one at the moment called the naughty lass and i see the silver fern and the robin hood over to the right and some of them have got little chimneys some of them have got little potted plants on the top. But the boat we're

going on today is Jono's boat called Alice. I can see Jono in the distance fiddling with some ropes. And I see Jono's dog, Molly. Hey, Molly. Come on, Molly. Hey, Molly. Beautiful black Labrador. And here is the man himself, Jono of Journey with Jono fame. How are you doing, mate? I'm good, thank you very much. Hey, Jono. I'm Tim. How are you going? How are you doing? How are you doing? Nice to meet you. Nice to doing mate? I'm good thank you very much. Hey Jono I'm Tim. How you doing? Nice to meet you. I know this person. Yeah we're Jono and I are friends from way back we used to work together at the BBC. Jono tell us where are you taking us today? We're going to go

up the Chesterfield Canal. We're in the basin at the moment which is right next to the River Trent and we're going to go through a couple of locks. And we can hear Molly in the background. Molly, are you excited? I don't like the microphone. So, Jono, I think a podcast about narrowboats and canalboats would be a great idea. I mean, you make a very successful YouTube channel about canalboats and life on the canal network here in the UK. You must think a podcast about narrowboats and stuff would be brilliant. Well, there's certainly a lot of sounds.

It would sound really good because obviously you've got the lovely flushing of the water. And we're going to be going through a couple of locks today. So you've got all that fantastic audio. It's a very, very different way of living. It's not like living on a caravan or an RV in the States, because you tend to go from campsite to campsite in those. Here, you can just moor at wherever you like. 2,000 plus miles of the network is your back garden.

You can just stop wherever you like. Like where we are here, there's a whole bunch of them. This is obviously a basin, is that right? Yes. Is that what it's called? Yeah. But we could go 100 metres down the road and just pull over and... Yes over and yes wow yeah and there's room in the canals when we get out there oh yeah yeah definitely definitely certain areas you can't moor up you're not allowed to

moor up when there's bollards that have got white tops those are predominantly at water points or locks because obviously if you're sat by the side of the canal there another boat can't moor up and operate the lock so there's a couple of places you're not allowed to but the majority of the whole network it's brilliant you can if you think oh this looks a fantastic place or it's really quiet or there's rolling countryside you just moor up a lock as in lockness lock lamont this a lot like a lake oh no oh no What do you mean by a loch? Tim, you really need this podcast. Definitely no, there will be no Loch Nesses

and certainly no monsters on this trip today. A loch is a way of moving a boat from one level of water to another level. I would describe it from my limited experience of lochs, it's almost like a gate in the canal, where there's two sets of gates and you open one gate drive your boat in shut the gate change the water level so it's the same level as the water at the other side of the other gate and then you can reopen another gate so it's just it's to change the level of the boat without all the water in exactly all the uk having to change but before we talk more about my podcast idea as well because i want to i've got all sorts of questions for you johnno should we get well we won't get on the road should

we get on the canal yeah why not let's start her up and um i'm ready to go and we'll turn around and we'll zoom on out of here let's do it hey alice is a very long uh boat what this is alice is 60 foot long yeah just under seven foot wide, hence why they're called narrowboats. And Tim's right down the other end at the moment. He's down, are you going to... Tim's at the bow and I've got two ropes tied up to the bank at the moment. So I'm going to start my engine. You should never really undo your ropes unless your engine's started.

Right. So I'm going to start the engine, make sure that's all fine. And then I'm going to signal for tim to release alice and because i'm in a bit of a weird corner of this basin i'm going to get him to give alice a really good shove and push the boat's nose right out into the water how does he push it does he push it with his foot or he just pushes it with his hands but don't push too far otherwise you'll go in and then how does tim get on the on the boat is well tim gonna have then leap onto the boat? If you think of a narrowboat, the pivot point is right in the middle.

So when you push the bow, the stern kicks into the bank. So hopefully, we'll see in a second, he'll push the bow, the stern will stay on the bank, and he can come back and climb on the stern with us. So Jono's undoing all sorts of ropes and looking like he knows what he's doing

which he does all right can i i'm stepping over onto the boat so i'm going to start the engine all right there we go i'm going to reverse ever so slightly and then i'm going to ask tim yeah if you push the nose out just throw the rope on and push the front of the boat out as much as you can oh man if tim falls in and i'm not filming it that would be a tragedy. Here I am, made it. Nice work pushing the boat man. Didn't fall in. The day is young. So right now we're really slowly just drifting out into the center of this basin amongst all the other moored narrow boats and Jono's just steering us out to the middle and gradually we're going to make our way out of the basin and then our adventure is going to start. I steer Alice with what's called a tiller. It's effectively a rudder

at the back just right next to the propeller and that steers us. It's a little bit confusing when you very very first start because it's the wrong way so if I want to go right I push the tiller to the left and if I want to go left I push the tiller to the left. And if I want to go left, I push the tiller to the right. So right now we're at the back of the boat, all three of us, and the long narrow boat stretches 60 feet ahead of us. And Jono is facing the front. But literally while he's talking to us, he's holding the tiller in his other hand and just making little adjustments and pushing us across to the other side.

Tim, how are your levels of excitement right now? This is cool. I like this. This is awesome. It's quite a slow pace, isn't it? This is probably about the pace that we'll be going. But I like that. It feels, because we're going between the land. If you're out in the open ocean going this slow, it might be dull, but we're weaving in between other boats and I can see we're heading under a little bridge up ahead, which is so idyllic. Yeah, I like this. So, Jono, tell me, obviously you make YouTube videos about narrow boating, which is quite a nice thing to do. It's a very visual thing to do and a lot of people must like looking at all the pretty scenery and all the cool things you can show them on your boat.

What about a podcast? Do you think a podcast would have legs or do you think not having the advantage of all this natural beauty would be a hindrance? Well, for a start, going on a canal, there's lots and lots of different noises. There's the engine, there's the tiller, there's the ratcheting of lock gates. So there's going to be lots and lots of sounds in this podcast.

Plus, I mean, there's tweeting birds all around us and you've got the sounds of nature. Of course. As soon as you get out, you'll have cows right next to the canal. You'll have lots and lots of wildlife. You may even see a couple of... Actually, this canal is very clear. Once we get out of this basin area, it's much clearer water. And you'll see that there's's million literally millions of fish for all different sizes and you'll probably see a couple of fishermen as we go along as well oh that's duck

we're going under a bridge we sound a bit more we're we're under a bridge this is very you can tell like we're such city folk who don't do this sort of stuff like oh my god we're under a bridge yeah you go under bridges there's a um up north of stoke there is a huge great big tunnel and i went through that when i was two weeks green i had the boat for two weeks and the tunnel was so long it takes three quarters of an hour to get through it it was gigantic i've seen your video of that it looked kind of scary it is is. It's completely black. You can't see anything. If you break down inside, I don't know what will happen.

Well, I do know they'll have to send someone in to get you. Jono, are there any narrowboat podcasts, by the way? Like, do you listen to any or know about any? I know there are a few other YouTube channels, none as good as yours. But I know there's a few videos around the place. But is there a podcast yet or is this a gap in the market for me? I think this is probably a gap in the market for you, Brady. I haven't seen any advertisements or any links for podcasts with regards to Narrowboat, so I think you've tapped right into it. Oh, maybe this could be a business venture for us together, Jono. I've always wanted

to do business with you because you're such a good businessman. Maybe this is our thing. Let's think about that one. Yeah, I don't think Jono holds quite the same burning desire to open do business with you because you're such a good businessman maybe this is our thing uh let's let's um think about that one yeah i don't think jono holds quite the same burning desire to open a business with me he knows me too well oh no no no no i'm i'm i'm the other way around brady i don't think to go down very well with my wife either if i said i'm afraid i'm uh i'm leaving to go and make a canal boat podcast i'll see you in three weeks it would take three weeks just to get around the system it would well a part of the system three weeks just to get around the system it would well a part of the system would take years to get around all of it because obviously we're traveling

at probably about two miles an hour now there's canals all over england yes can you literally sort of go north and south and east and west just going through the canals it's not as no it's not as much as a road network there are canals that go down as far as sharpness just south of gloucester so that's the western side then there is another canal that goes down to oxford and then you can go on the river thames down to sort of redding and london a lot of canals in the midlands is that's where we are at the moment we're sort of northeast midlands um and it can go right up to very near cumbria and what about living as a as opposed to a hobby like what proportion are most people living on them or are most people got them for weekenders and for fun there's about 30 000 licenses for the canal and river trust who

look after all the waterways a vast majority of those are people in London because it's a much cheaper way of living. We're just going past quite a wide boat at the moment. It's about 12 foot wide, this one. This is beautiful. They're both getting their cameras out, I'm noting. So this is effectively a Dutch barge. This will have come over from Holland. Oh, yeah.

It will have a V-bottomed hull, so therefore it can go in the sea. I love the British racing green and the wood, the stained wood. Oh, it's gorgeous. So in terms of a podcast idea then, if some folks are living on them, I mean, surely describing life, a factual podcast would be interesting, but even on the journey and giving hints and ideas on the journey, surely that would be of interest to people? It would be.

And remember, we've got a number of different seasons of the year. Cruising along in the boiling hot summer is very, very different to sitting still because the canal's frozen over because obviously it's not moving water. A couple of months ago, back in sort of February time, I was frozen in for about just over a week. So I can hear, for are who have narrowboats and or interested in it they want that sort of factual information but I just think I'd love to listen to it this is so beautiful and if I'm back home in Australia and I can picture myself and listen to

you talking or listen to people having a discussion and describing you know that fantasy experience description kind of podcast. It's very slow. So you do have the opportunity of looking over a field and seeing historic buildings with chimneys in the background. Which we are literally. Jono's not making that up. That's what he plucked from what we actually saw at the time. We're sort of on the edge of Lincolnshire here. We're in North Nottinghamshire and we're on the edge of Lincolnshire,

which is very flat and a lot of the area is used for farming so you'll see a lot of fields with crops for miles and miles in the distance so right now we're going through what I would call quite a narrow canal there are we're going past the Shirley May which is moored just to our port side is that right to our port side so we've been we've been skirting past some moored narrow boats which look most of them look like they've been there for quite settle down molly's found there's a dog looking at molly that doesn't like molly and i would say most of these boats look like they're quite long-term moorings here and now we've just gotten past the boats and we're heading on further down the canal and there's there's reeds and plants either side of the canal.

It's very green and idyllic. The thing that I think is good about this as a podcast is I think lots of people have a bit of a fantasy about getting away from city life or normal life and living on a canal boat or living on a narrow boat. It's like this thing that, oh, I'm going to do it one day. But I would say 99.9% of people talk about it all their life but never do it but you have done it and which is amazing in itself and I think people would like to live vicariously through you to think because they say I don't think I still

don't think most people would do it but at least they will feel like every night I can tuck up tuck up in bed and for an hour I can just go to sleep imagining what that life would be like hearing it hearing someone do it what's really good is you're completely off the grid I have solar panels on the roof I'm generating my own energy things can go doolally in the world and it doesn't really matter for me I'm plodding along at two miles an hour I can mow up in the rolling countryside and I've got such a huge back garden. I could be sitting here with, I've got a side hatch on the side near my kitchen and I often have that open and I could be cooking my breakfast, I don't know, boiling the kettle for a nice cup of morning coffee and suddenly out of nowhere a swan sticks its head through the side hatch. It's those sorts of things you just don't get when living in a house.

I've had ducks sitting on the stern here. I've even had an egg laid, really weirdly, from a duck on the bow. I've opened the front door and there is a fresh egg on my doormat. Was that breakfast? I don't know if it had a bird in it or not. Oh, you should have nurtured it. You should have taken it in and put it in a little warm bit of cotton wool look johnny there's a million questions i have about canal boats narrowboat life and i'm sure we'll probably ask you some more stuff over the next hour or two but we would also like to hear some of your ideas for a podcast because you know you're on the

unmade podcast and we like throwing ideas around you must have a lot of spare time just lying around in bed, having ideas. Spare time? What's that? Do you listen to podcasts? No. Oh, right. Well, this is going to be interesting then.

I have told Jono about the Unmade podcast and how we have ideas. And I said to him, Jono, while we're on the boat, we want to hear some ideas from you. What do you think would make a good podcast? Not about narrowboats. No, not necessarily. Just about anything different. So what do you reckon? Are you feeling up to it i am indeed i've i've had a good think i've watched a film

quite recently and i think my podcast idea is about preppers now they are a group of people that prepare for the end of the world scenario in the states there's um there's a huge range of preppers there's some that just have a couple of extra cupboards full of food just in case the shops close because of i don't know a fuel crisis or something and then there's others that you open up a room and it's like a james bond film there's a mass of guns and ammunition they'll build like these these are also like people who you know will build a bunker under their house because they're convinced there's going to be a nuclear war sometime and obviously this was a lot bigger when the Cold War was at

its height people would create a nuclear bunker that they could go down into for a year if necessary. Okay this is a secondary question would you want to live in a bunker what a 40 50 foot bunker for goodness knows how many years if if we've had a nuclear blast would you want to live in a bunker, what, a 40, 50-foot bunker for goodness knows how many years if we've had a nuclear blast? Would you want to live in one? I think I'd prefer it to the nuclear wasteland above where I'm not going to last 20 minutes. But you're living in a, I don't know, if I just go outside and be done with it. But isn't the canal boat, this is a little bit bunker-like. So the actual, you know, you can't have it both ways.

a little bit bunker-like. So the actual, you know, you can't have it both ways. You'd like living in a tiny, beautiful, idyllic house on a canal, but you don't want to live in a small, confined area. But I can look out my windows and see beautiful countryside. You can't out of a bunker. You know that it's all obliterated, and it'll be obliterated in 10, 15 years when you come out. I don't really know how long a nuclear blast lasts for.

The thing I like about your idea for a podcast, Jono, isn't just the sort of how-to aspect of it. How do I prepare for the end of the world? How many cans of spam do I need? How many litres of water? How do I make this work? But the reason I think this would be such a great podcast is the sort of people who think like that

are quite interesting characters. It's the people I'm more interested in than actually how they're doing the preparation. why are you building this what do you think is going to happen that kind of worry they have like exactly it's not all nuclear nuclear nuclear it's not everyone thinking like that it's some people are thinking something as simple as a diesel shortage i don't know if you remember were you here here in Britain in sort of late 90s, Brady? Well, in the late 90s, there was a fuel shortage. I was working for BBC in London at the time.

And because I worked in the transmission area of BBC One, I had this special red card that I put in the window of my car. And around London, you couldn't get fuel. There were huge queues of fuel, people waiting to get fuel. And I had this magic red card and I got straight to the front of the queue and the police would check it and check my idea and I could get fuel because it was important for me to be able to get to work to broadcast BBC One because BBC One then can broadcast important announcements and it's just little things like a fuel crisis could disrupt such a lot of things or a massive electricity outage.

Shops will close rather rapidly. Sorry, I can't operate my till. All our fridges have gone off. Sounds like you don't have to stock up everything. You just need to stock up a red card and you'll be right. That would be brilliant if you could have a red card to get out of a nuclear blast. So I'm a pretty disorganized guy and pretty laid. I would describe myself as pretty laid back.

But the two guys I'm here with, Jono and Tim, I would have thought you two would, for different reasons, have a little bit of prepper leanings about you. Jono, just because you're such like an organized guy and such like a, I don't know,

it's just your nature to be well organized. Be nice, be nice. I am, I am being nice. And Tim also, because, I don't know, Tim, you you're like because you've like got a family and i haven't and like i've no i've noticed like in your old age you're more like you're more concerned and you think about things like we must make sure we lock the house and shut the windows like you strike me as quite a guy who would take precautions is there any prepperness about your life like you know have you got anything in the house for a worst case scenario i look there's a difference between being safety conscious and building a

bunker in the backyard that doesn't mean i don't have a bunker in the back look i think there probably is there is that sort of just in case sort of thinking so i've you know taking making sure there are umbrellas in in the boot of both cars just in case and taking a jumper just in case, even though it's a warm day. You know, there are those sorts of leanings of sort of vigilance that you're looking to have just in case. But just in case of a nuclear blast is a whole other level, isn't it? You've got to have a lot of baked bean tins stored away in a cupboard

for a nuclear blast. I mean, here on the boat, you obviously have to be a bit of a prepper, don't you, because you never know when your boat's going to break down or canal's going to freeze over and you're going to be stuck on some canal 20 or 30 miles from the nearest shop. Exactly just before you arrived I was filling up my water tank I always try and fill up before I go anywhere because as you say there's two things really I might moor up in an absolutely beautiful area and think this is fantastic I want to stay here as long as I can, which is up to two weeks, by the way. And I need to shower.

I need to cook. I need to have drinks. So I fill up my water tank. Or as you say, I could get stuck in a load of weeds and be high and dry for a while. Has anything happened yet where your preparation has saved your bacon? Definitely. Back in February when the canal froze over. saved your bacon definitely back in february when the canal froze over living so close to nature you keep an eye on the weather a lot more than when i was in a house tim said yes he's got a

in the back of the car i've got to take it a little bit more one stage further because will the towpath be dry enough for me to walk along will um the canal freeze over that sort of thing so when the cold snap came i was was looking ahead of, right, OK, you can tell the water's starting to get a little bit frosty, a little bit crunchy. You move about in the boat and it makes quite a racket against the side of the hull. And then you think, right, it's actually going to go solid in two days' time. So I made sure I filled up with water, made sure I had lots of gas, lots of food. The car was nearby.

So I made sure I filled up with water, made sure I had lots of gas, lots of food. The car was nearby. So yes, I did prep, but it was more for like a week rather than 10 years. Do you have some experience with or interaction with folks? And, you know, the more interesting ones that we were talking about, the preppers who were systematic about it. I've never met a prepper in my life. Nope. It was just purely because I watched a film called Contagion, and that was about a disease spreading across the world. And I thought, well, that's an ideal place

or an ideal time for a prepper to go into a bunker. Well, Tim, I think it's mildly depressing that Jono, who doesn't listen to podcasts, has come up with such a great idea in his first go. He's putting us to shame. That's very good. In fact, when it comes to prepping podcast ideas in my notebook is a way of doing it.

But I've still not got something as good as that. That's a really good idea. And I think particularly looking into historical groups would be interesting and getting either experts in or people that were part of these communities. There is, I think, a lot of people who come out, they say, I was in a community like this, and they write a book about it and describe the community

and why they were thinking and fearing and corralling themselves in a particular way the word you just said then you said community about three or four times in that that last sentence i think that's quite important especially um in the states they've built up little communities of preppers because you don't want to advertise everywhere where your bunker is because everyone will jump on it. So you have a community with a couple of neighbours and they help each other out. I think that's where the community aspect comes in. If you're trying to accommodate a whole town, I think that's a different level. Yeah, and I think that perhaps that's when you get a community of like-minded people, that's how the narrative is perpetuated.

Yes, we have to be prepared and yes we're worried and you know what i mean that kind of builds and it reinforces the idea that it's us against everyone else but then exactly but then there's that there's that sort of scare tactic of it's you've got to have all these guns because they're all going to fight against us that's what's interesting if of seeing the people that take it to the extreme obviously the charm of this podcast will be those one-off stories and those interesting characters but i guess the the bigger picture could also be encompassed into it things like what happens at the white house you know where do where do all the white house staff go what are some of the bigger plans in the world for these situations what's what is going to happen what's going to happen to these whole cities of people if something bad happens? What are the emergency plans?

It's a bit scary now, isn't it? Yeah, it is quite scary if you think about it. I'm sure there's like a massive bunker to hold like 300 or 400 people in some mountain somewhere that's got air filtration and everything. We're going to have to pause ever so slightly here because we're coming up to a bridge and I know on the other side of the bridge there is a lock oh it's lock time it's not it's not like a lock nest which tim commented on right at the beginning it's just a normal lock for us to go up a different level

but i'm going to moor up against the side of one of these bollards and i'm going to use my center line to tie up yeah and i've got um what's called a windlass right and we're going to go up and we're going to see if we can open the gates and and get alice in and and move up the canal so a windlass is like a special key that canal boat drivers have to open locks correct yes can anyone get one of these or do you have to no you can anyone can get them right can you buy them at b&Q or do you have to get them from the canal test? No, they'll be from Chandleries. Okay.

Which is like boat shops. So this is like a big kind of metal device tool that Jono has sitting here up on the boat. It's got two square holes and it's got an arm. And we'll see in a second. You put a peg over the square hole and you ratchet it up and it will um pull a paddle up and i can see from the lock if you look at the lock we're just looking at some two wooden gates yeah and these gates have probably been here for about 100 years possibly not these exact gates it is it's quite like menacing isn't it as the canal almost like comes to an end and you see this

huge wall of wood holding back all this water on the other side there's a there's a hint there holding back the water as you can see on the lock gates there's water gushing out of the actual gaps between the gates yeah and that indicates that this lock is full yeah and i obviously can't drive into a full lock now you've got to lower the level before you can get in exactly so i'm going to going to go up, empty the lock. Yeah. And then we will drive Alice in and then we will fill it again and carry on. Are you secretly disappointed when you come to a lock and the water's not at the level you were hoping it would be at? Of course. Every person on any boat would love to arrive at a lock and it be empty. And so they could just open the gates and go in.

What would be even better is if they arrive and the gates were already open because the wind has blown them open or you're not supposed to but it's really good when other people go through a lock they can see you in the distance and they leave the gates open for you and you can just drive straight in it's it's a lot less hassle a lock nest let the lock nest thing go man you are not seeing lock nest today so jono has jumped off the boat jumped off the boat and he's looking like a real hero here, pulling the whole boat like a tug of war. He's pulling it over to the side. He's about to tie the rope around a bollard. I'm going to get off as well.

With this lock in particular, you need a British waterways key. It's got like a little round piece of cork on the end so that if Jono drops the key in the water, he doesn't lose it for all time. What a prepper you are. Yeah, definitely. You'll see some people with bigger bunches of keys and they'll have more and more balls of cork. So the lock must change the level of the water here

by a couple of metres at least, I would say. This is called Misterton Low Lock. There's two locks here. There's a little tiny pound in the middle. So what I'm going to do, before I empty it, I'm going to walk up just to check that there's not little tiny pound in the middle so what i'm going to do because before i empty it i'm going to walk up just to check that there's not another boat coming because if there is another boat coming it's in their favor and to save water on a canal you don't just empty it and drive through like you would in a car you are very polite and you allow them to come into the lock

and you empty the lock with their boat in it. So you save as much water as you can. Exciting stuff, isn't it? This is like for city folk like us. This is really cool. I'm really excited to see. It's like old-fashioned engineering, but it's so logical it still happens the same way as it did 100 years ago. So Jono's come back from further up the lock Jono did you see anything interesting up ahead we need to know about there's no other boats coming so that's good but what I've done is I've done a little bit of a sneaky trick because these two locks are so close I've emptied the pound from the top lock and we're just about to empty the pound of this one so then when we come out of

this one we can just drive straight into the top one, like that scenario, that best day scenario. Nice one. You're a clever chap, Jono. If there's lots of traffic around, you can't do that, because they would drive into the lock and come down, and you'd sort of cross path in the middle bit. But there's no one around today, and this is actually a really quiet canal, so we're just going to take advantage of it. Two things here. It's quite unusual to have a British Waterways key,

but I think it's possibly because of, probably kids have let the water out here so I'm gonna turn this and that's pulled like a ratchet out which has then allowed me to put my windlass on and wind the paddles up paddles up. Jono's continuing his man of action display here. So the paddle part is open, the water started equalising. If I was in a bit of a rush, which you can't be on a canal, you can't rush around, and there is a bit of a saying, if you're in a rush you're in the wrong place. That's a good old thing to say.

But sometimes I would go and open the paddle on the other gate and that would let the water out twice as fast. But because I predominantly go around the system on my own, it's safer to stay on one side. I'm actually showing a bit of my naivety here because I thought the way you let the water out of the main chamber was just simply opening the gates and it would all rush out. But now I think about it, you would have to be pushing the gates up against a huge volume of water and that would be impossible. It would be tonnes and tonnes of water

and then suddenly you've let a whole chamber of water out and you'd probably flood your boat that's sitting quietly in the canal at the bottom. You'd create like a little tsunami going down the canal so it's all done in a controlled way jono if two people come to a lock from opposite directions who has right of way whichever way the lock is so if the lock is full then and the people are coming downhill it's their right of way if it was empty it's my right of way regardless of how annoyed they are regardless of how much of in a rush they need to go out for their lunch tough those are the rules so obviously with a lock there are two different levels of water either side and a chamber in the

middle that's changeable so whoever is at the same level as the chamber water has the right of way exactly that's that That's the key. If it's half and half, because sometimes the gates leak, sometimes the seal on the gates aren't very good, and the lock could have been full, but by the time two boats come, it's actually half full because the bottom gate has leaked a bit of water out. Now, in that instance, you've just got to be pleasant.

We're all on a nice canal. It's not like waiting at traffic lights in a car there's none of this beeping and it's all very gentlemanly it's in england and you know it's that sort of feeling and you're like oh you go ahead or no it's fine you go ahead most of the time tim i'm already sensing and someone who knows me well and knows how impatient i am i'm already sensing that canal life may not be the life for me, because already I'm thinking, come on then, hurry up, lock. I've got things to record.

Yeah, yeah, this would be difficult if you're in a rush or against a deadline. Is there such thing as speed canalling? There are a couple of people that speed on the canal. Those are predominantly, and I'm going to put my head on a limb here, if that's the right term. Head on the block. Head on the canal those are predominantly and i'm gonna put my head on a limb here if that's the right term head on the block head on the block yeah that's it a lot of cruisers tend to speed because they're used to rivers and the sea their draft is a lot lower and they are able to zoom through the water a lot more and when you're sitting inside drinking a nice glass of wine having your dinner and a cruiser zooms past it rocks your boat all over

the place. And if there's really, really fast speeders, then a lot of narrowboats will go out on the back and go, whoa, slow down! It must nearly be gate opening time. I think the water's levelled now. There's no turbulence of water on one side, and I'm looking at the level of the water on the other, and it's not going down.

So I am going to the very end of the beam on the lock, and I'm going to put my bum against it and push so jono's oh well jono's just pushing this huge big piece of wooden beam it opens so easily he just opened the gates like smooth smooth as they're not all like that some are really difficult to open but this one seems to be quite easy so one of the two gates is open do you have to go over the other side to open the other gate? Because I'm in a narrowboat, I can get through one gate. Because this is a wide lock.

If you were in a wide beam or in a cruiser, you would probably have to open both gates. So Jono's just opened the right-hand gate. And now we have access to the chamber, which is at the same water level that we are at. He's going to drive the boat in, shut the gate, and then allow the chamber to fill up, and the canal boat will rise up to the level of the canal further ahead. So Molly's just been waiting on the back of the boat the whole time, like a good dog, knowing that Daddy Jono has to go and do his lock business.

If you look ahead, I've got to get my just under seven foot wide narrowboat through that just over seven foot wide hole that serves you right for only opening one side of the gate yep did you hear that you look alarmed which is making me alarmed what that noise was that was something in the water, scraping on the bottom of the boat. It's okay, we're past it now. This boat can't sink! It's a boat, it certainly can. It's made of iron, I assure you.

It can, and it will. It's a mathematical certainty. Was that something alive? That wasn't a Loch Ness, no, definitely. Surely it's just like a trolley, supermarket trolley, or people must throw rubbish in and... It did sound like a supermarket trolley, to be fair. There we go.

Jono, what's all that water pouring into your boat inside there? Oh, you little water. I actually looked in there, and you little... OK, so while Jono's heart rate recovers, we're halfway into the lock now. Jono has expertly navigated us in. He didn't have much leeway. I'm really impressed with his accuracy.

He's threaded the needle. The boat is entering the chamber. Listen to him. He's getting all the right terminology. This is some of the best narrowboat driving I've ever seen. Really? And some of the best commentary you've heard too, I hope. Look at that.

Seriously, I reckon we must be 20 centimetres either side. I'm just going to put it into reverse ever so slightly so we don't bash the top gate. And then I'm going to climb up out of the lock, probably leave you two in here if that's okay. And I will start filling the lock chamber. This is a little bit of a Star Wars situation where we're going to have

two walls and the room is going to be flooded. One thing for sure we're all going to be a lot thinner. So Jono's now climbed up onto the roof of his boat and there's like a little ladder on the side of the chamber which he's able to climb up onto. He's tying up the boat again onto one of the bollards so that it stays still in the chamber. I'm just thinking, if someone were to open the other gate or to flood that through, is there an irreversible dilemma that the lock could get into? I guess not.

If that was flooded down that end, it would just keep going and it would float down over time. If you left them both open forever, I guess you could have a problem because the water would just all equalise. And now Jono's pulling on that big beam again and he's shutting the gate behind us so the whole chamber will be closed. All right, we're closed in. Now Jono's walking back up to the front of the lock.

I don't know if this makes podcast gold. Coming back to my idea of a podcast about locks, is this a bit boring to listen to? Do you think people are picturing it or you have to see it to believe it sort of thing? Oh, it's hard for me to say because I'm here seeing it and listening to it and I certainly know what's going on. It is interesting and curious to see for the first time. And you've described it well, so perhaps it could be people have in their minds.

So now the chamber is filling up and you can actually... You can feel it rising. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, you can feel the boats rising with the water in the chamber. A rising tide lifts all boats. Yeah, it's certainly lifting this one. That's really quite quick. Yeah, it does.

It feels quicker than I thought. It's like a slow elevator almost. Yeah, yeah, that's right. And the entire narrow boat is rising up. Do you want me to fang it in reverse again? Stop that happening. So the boat does move around a little bit in the chamber and bangs against the brick walls and the gates but boats are covered in like rubber

strips to to allow for that so it's not too bad i'm back up on the land now with jono waiting for the lock to fill up to the right height what was that you that was the paddle you were just adjusting were to let the water go through more quickly? Yeah, this is a ground paddle, so the water goes underneath the lock. John, I don't want to get you too excited or anything, but if you look a little bit further up the canal, you'll see there's a couple of ducks. Do you see them often? Yes, I do. I know you don't, you city folk don't.

Yeah, I see a lot of ducks. A lot of ducks. In fact, it's a duck with some ducklings by the look of it. It is, yeah. We're living the dream. We're living a wildlife documentary here, Tim. Did you say two ducks? Oh, I see them. All right, it's time now.

Jono's opening the front gate. We're at the right level. Just quietly pushing the gate open. Always letting Tim do it. This is going to be, this is good. Well done, Tim. How did that feel? Yeah, that's good.

I was a bit nervous going in, but throughout I felt pretty confident and in the end it turned out well. Oh, can I? Can I close it? Jono's given us the awesome responsibility of, as he navigates his boat out of the chamber, of shutting the gate, and then he's pootling up to the next lock, which is already ready. It's already at the right level, as we discussed earlier,

so all we've got to do is open the gate. This is a lot of responsibility he's giving us. So here we go. Jono's driving out. Alright, I'm going to pull it shut. Can I do it with one hand? No. Come on, Tim. There's two of us in there pulling this gate.

Oh, there we go. It's moving. There we go. It's not as easy as it looks. are now pulling this gate. Oh, there we go. It's moving. There we go. It's not as easy as it looks. We're pulling it shut. Oh, look. There we go. It's shut.

Oh, hang on. We've opened the other one. The other one swung open a bit, but we're going to have to jump on quickly here, so it's easier for Jono. So this is going to be adventurous. Go on, Tim. Tim's on. Here we go.

And I'm on. All right. That would have been a good nine or ten feet we've jumped there. Punch it, Chewy. Well, now that we're back on the open canal and with all this fresh air and all this beauty, Tim, are you feeling inspired have you got a podcast idea to share with the group i do i do have one it's um it's one that's

been on the list in my mind for a while it has nothing to do with the canal but we're just here it's called my tattoo basically this is i mean tattoos are so much more omnipresent than they once were. So many people choose a tattoo for special and particular reasons. Some people might just choose one for casual reasons, like it looks cool. But I've been in many conversations where people show their tattoos and then they tell the story behind their tattoo. I got this because of when my brother died or when, you know, this happened in my life. The birth of my child is a common one, isn't it? Like a date or something. That's exactly right. People love telling you about their tattoos

and the stories behind their tattoos in a nice way. It's like, it's nice. And sometimes it's a simple story like, oh yes, this is my daughter and there she is and oh, that's lovely. Other times there's a really beautiful story because they are sort of a memorial thing as well. People mark and remember when someone has passed and they might talk about the circumstances behind that and their relationship to the person. But there are also awesome, curious ones as well. I have a friend who's got a cassette tape as a tattoo

and that looks cool. It's really quirky. Or just like a picture of a cassette tape. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there a reason for that? Or are they really into music? Yeah, I think she just has it as a cool, a bit of a hipster, nostalgic icon. And i guess when it comes to tattoos oh let me ask you first are you a fan of tattoos i do not have any tattoos i don't like too many of them

but i don't mind them like i'm i'm kind of each to their own in a way i'm a bit scared of them myself because of the whole permanence thing and having something so permanent on my body so i'm like i wouldn't say i'm a fan of tattoos but i am a very big fan of seeing people's tattoos and talking about them so and like the stories behind them so i really love this idea as a podcast so even though i'm not a tattoo guy i would listen to like a weekly podcast where a guest comes on and says here's here's my tattoo it's a picture of a pirate on my ankle. Another thing would be, why did you choose that part of your body for the tattoo, which can sometimes be interesting in itself.

Jono, what about you? Do you have any tattoos? I can't see any, but do you have any? No, I don't. As soon as you said tattoos, and as you were saying about the story behind them, I instantly thought of people that have come out of prison, because they have those little tears down the side of their eyes, about the story behind them, I instantly thought of people that have come out of prison because they have those little tears down the side of their eyes and those are to indicate, hey everybody, I've been inside. It's a bit peculiar if you ask me, but I do have friends that have got tattoos

and as you say, some can be really pretty. I like the errors and the blunders that people make, especially spelling, where they've either done it themselves in a mirror and they've got letters the wrong way around or complete blatant wrong words that's always quite funny yeah yeah yeah and i but i think i wonder if people's confidence in getting tattoos has increased as the technology for removing tattoos has improved you know what i mean once upon a time a tattoo was there forever but i know some people can get you know laser scanning and so forth and perhaps that makes them a little bit more audacious about doing it how much can they actually be removed is it a hundred percent or will there always be some sort of scar i'm not sure i've talking to i was with someone a few months ago and i noticed that a significant tattoo that they'd had or was was missing i thought that's

coming along really well. They said they were having to go back time and time again, though, to get it done, but it was starting to look good. I wonder what's more painful, the tattoo being put on in the first place or the tattoo being removed. You know how tattoo removal works, though. Basically, they just, like, blast the tattoo ink with laser and they just break it into such small pieces,

all the ink and the paint that your your bloodstream and your body can then just take it away which is kind of like oh that sounds a bit i don't know about that but anyway i guess i i guess i put a lot of hamburgers in my body that's not very healthy so who am i to talk have you ever thought about getting a hamburger tattoo well we've spoken a previous episode about my honey prawns tattoo and but the the funny thing is that did teach me a valuable lesson because we were we were joking about having the Chinese symbol for honey prawns as a tattoo for various reasons I won't even bother explaining to you Jono but as a result we ended up having

this honey prawns t-shirt made so I had to get someone to write the word honey prawns in like Chinese writing so that I could make the the t-shirt and then when I had it made everybody disagreed about all the different ways you could write the symbols in the order of them and what symbols you should use that's exactly what i was going to say how can you trust that they are writing in a different language the words that you're saying rather than bag of popcorn exactly this bloke's an idiot exactly that's and that's what taught me that lesson if i was getting a tattoo in another language i would trust no one because even people that are doing it with the best intentions can get it wrong. Are you having a go at my bag of popcorn tattoo?

The tattoos I particularly like are those that don't look like typical tattoos. Like there are sort of, you know, there's certain scripts and writing and certain things that many people have that looks, oh, that looks like a tattoo, a particular design. The sorts of things that you imagine the members of the Red Hot Chili Peppers having all over their body. But then there are other things as well. I like the idea of someone having a typewriter, like an object that's out of place as a tattoo. I like that idea.

I'm going to disagree with you. I think the problem with tattoos is that they date in lots of different ways. What things you liked or things you care about may change, which is a bit where, you know, having like, you know, a girlfriend's name on your arm is like the classic example. But the other problem is styles change and fashion changes. And I think having something tattooed on you that isn't classic and cliche is almost more dangerous because I think something that seems quite trendy and cool now in 10 years or 15 years might like look a bit silly or a bit dated whereas if you go for

something really classic and typical the designs that have been used as tattoos for 100 years you're almost on safer ground and it's a bit like oh yes that's a classic tattoo and that's more that's more my style I guess I'm not as avant-garde as you, Tim. Apart from the actual design itself, what about the skin? Because your skin doesn't look the same when you're, I don't know, 18, when you're 78, lying on the beach. It's a little bit more wrinkled, a little bit more crusty. Yeah. But then by the time you're that old, do you care anymore?

Pushing back the other way on my argument again, one of the coolest tattoos I have is a friend Pushing back the other way on my argument again, one of the coolest tattoos I have is a friend who has a Transformers Autobot sign on his arm. And that's behind his arm. But the thing about the Transformer Autobot sign, although it's a very modern thing, you know, Transformers, it is a very classic looking design. Like if you didn't know what a Transformer Autobot was, you would look at it and think, oh, yeah, that's a really classic looking design. I think that is well suited to being like a tattoo like because it looks like it's it's symbolic and it's not like a you know having an actual like Optimus Prime tattooed onto your arm that would be bad that would be bad but the actual symbol is quite cool looking getting it as a young

man it's a cool thing it's been many years now since I've known him and he's still obviously got it but it still looks cool because it's like a classic. It's like, oh yeah, that was cool when you did that when you were young. So it's almost like it becomes a nostalgic object in and of itself. Tim, why have you not got a tattoo? I haven't got a tattoo because I can't think of something tattoo worthy. I have a very high level of what would be something that I'd put on my body that's there day after day after day after day and I guess I haven't thought of anything that's that fits my criteria of not being something cliche and as well as being and I well and those two criteria are working against each other perhaps

because I'm looking for something timeless as well as something different and unique. Jono how about you what's your tattoo situation? Well I haven't got one I think early on as I was younger I actually disagreed with tattoos I didn't think they looked good but as I've got older I've actually come around a little bit and understand that yeah there are reasons why people have them and some of them can look really good some of them can look absolutely awful mind you. A bit like Tim I don't think i haven't thought of anything that i would think is worthy of actually putting on myself permanently there is almost a sense by which getting a tattoo is a statement of uniqueness and in a culture where there are so many tattoos

not having tattoos becomes a statement of uniqueness you know what i mean having a clean skin and i don't know that feels a bit more timeless as well. So I do probably like that. Although, yeah, I do also daydream about getting a tattoo as well and what it would be every now and then when I'm having this conversation with someone. So the podcast would be people coming in and telling their story about their particular tattoo.

Other good guests to have on your podcast would be occasionally tattoo artists because obviously they would have really interesting stories to tell, wouldn't they? I mean, that'd be an amazing repository of stories about tattoos. So you'd want to get a few of them on the show. Oh, they would. And they would be able to perhaps point to some horror stories or times when people have come in and said, OK, I tried to do this and I need to get it fixed. Or I tried to do this on the cheap and I've come to get it, you know what I mean, repaired.

If it can't be rubbed out, then we need to do a Mr. Squiggle and say, well, let's turn it upside down and turn it into a dove or something. Very good. Very good. All right then. Well done, Tim. I like that idea very much. Jono, would you listen to this podcast? You don't even listen to podcasts, so you wouldn't listen to this podcast. What do you think? I think I probably would listen to this podcast, to be fair. There'd be such a varied amount of people. People can be quite stereotypical with regards to who has a tattoo, but you'll be surprised. There are some very famous people

that you would never think would have a tattoo that does, and finding out their reasons would be really interesting. Definitely. Celebrity tattoos would be very interesting. They're a very interesting part of this podcast as well. Very interesting. A very interesting part of this podcast as well. It's because it's quite a shallow canal and there's lots of weeds, it's going to be interesting. Are you going to need me to take over, just to help out? I think I'm going to get you to take over right now, Tim.

Oh, hello. Alright. Oh, there we go. Tim's got the tiller. Hand on the tiller. I prefer having a steady hand at the tiller, but we'll have Tim for a few moments. I'm a steady hand. Look at this.

We're going around a bend. I can feel it. I can see the need to steer in the appropriate way. It feels quite intuitive, really. It's a bit like commentating a chess match, commentating driving a canal boat. What you'll find is the actual turning point of a narrowboat is right in the middle. It's not the front or the back. It's right in the middle. So you think of having to turn something on a centre point.

That's how it goes. So if you wanted to do a drastic turn after this bridge, you can't. But if you did, you would wait until the middle has gone through the bridge, and then you do your turning. Yep. Does that make sense? It does make through the bridge, and then you do your turning. Yep. Does that make sense? It does make sense, yeah, yeah. I can feel that.

Hang on, now I'm going to overcorrect. There we go. He's doing very well here. Tim, does it feel very responsive, or does it feel like sluggish, like there's a lag when you move the tiller and then the boat starts moving? There is a slight lag, yeah. I can see that while it's still moving and then I make a change, that the change isn't enacted immediately.

There's about two seconds or three seconds and then it comes back in line. That's a boat because it's the pressure of the water against the hull. Imagine if you were driving, I don't know, an oil tanker that's possibly, I don't know, a hundred times the length of this maybe. And it must take kilometres for them to stop and put into reverse and exactly so you can't really make any last minute changes that's why we see so many youtube videos of huge boats crashing into things so we're just coming up to a bridge now oh yeah I'm going to go under the bridge is that right that's correct yes good can't go anywhere else but what we need to do is not knock my solar panels off on the the roof of the bridge okay so we need to go under at the highest point of the bridge correct but then again we don't want to bash the side of the boat against the the path that goes underneath the bridge what what path

there's a path that goes under the bridge oh right okay tow path around the side yeah so what you'll do now is you'll look to the that side of the boat which is the starboard side and correct it accordingly to make it even okay yeah i need to get over on my port side a little bit more you feel free to take the rudder at any time you believe disaster is imminent remembering that three second delay you're doing a great job here tim thank you this is bridge number 82, and at this rate, we're not going to crash into anything, which is good. Maybe just a little bit towards port.

Brilliant. Is that right? Yep. Excellent. Alrighty. Then straightening up here, and let's put a bit of throttle in. Where's the throttle? Throttle's behind you.

Just push it forward a little bit more. Ooh, that was responsive. Yeah. We're now going along at a rate of about 100 knots. It's been a massive change. I can't believe it. It's probably gone up one mile an hour, to be completely honest. Oh, watch your head.

I was talking to myself there. So now the responsiveness will be a bit quicker because we're going faster. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Right. Brady's attempting to climb up on the roof to take a picture here. First mate, Brady Haran, is up on the roof of the narrowboat. That's it.

Yeah, yeah. He's asking where he can stand, ever conscientious. He's up there to take photos. Hang on. I can't pose looking cool when i'm worried about where we're going hang on that's okay it's all right smiling for the photo means i look at the road give you typical distracted by the iphone so at this point brady is stood on the top of the narrowboat taking photos of Tim and I on the stern.

And a tree's coming, so let's see if Brady notices the tree or if he is, oh he has noticed it, okay. I'm managing to maneuver the narrowboat down in what could only be described as a zigzag formation. That's exactly what I was gonna say, zigzag-tastic. Is that a commonly used strategy to make your way down the canal? You'll get used to it.

You're doing very well. You've gone through a bridge and not bashed my solar panels off, which is always good. And as we've speeded up a bit, it's a bit more responsive. It's a bit quicker. It's not the sort of thing you could water ski behind. No. But you still feel a sense that it's moving and you need to drive it properly. It's faster if you wanted, but we're actually coming up to a bridge,

so Tim looked at me rather worriedly then. I like to think I'm a bit of a bridge specialist, having navigated that last one, number 82. This next one isn't so bad, and then the one after lunch will be a bit lower, I think. Hi, everyone. This is where we'd normally mention a sponsor, but today's sponsor is you, the listener. We'd like to thank everyone who's listening, especially those who rate the podcast or share it,

tell other people about it. But a special thank you to all those patrons who chip in a small amount for each new episode. You are really what's keeping this boat afloat. More details about that, if you'd like to join them at patreon.com slash unmadefm. I'll include a link in the notes as usual. And as an extra way to show some support for this episode, we've got like a little bonus thing. It's a postcard commemorating the trip and your virtual presence on it. Basically the postcard is a picture of Tim and Jono on the boat that I took while standing up on the roof. You heard that being described earlier.

And on the back of the postcard is a little message to certify that you joined us for the voyage. I'll sign it when I pop it in the post as well. It's just a little something extra for people, well, who like getting postcards or things in the post. And they want to show us a bit of support for future shows. Details, links in the notes as usual. to show us a bit of support for future shows details links in the notes as usual but now back to the canal to finish the episode i think we've got time for just one more idea from you john oh you got you got another one up your slave there i have my idea for a podcast would be these people that are making millions of dollars from selling on amazon people may not know this I'm sure no one will

know this, but before you became a narrowboat media star, you actually have a lot of experience selling things on eBay and Amazon. You've run a few successful businesses. In fact, you're still involved in running a little few successful businesses in this area. So you would be a good man to speak to about this. There's different levels of selling on Amazon in particular. There is a level of selling other people's stuff. There is a level of selling other people's stuff. There's a level of selling other people's stuff and sending it to Amazon. But where you make the big bucks is where you choose something and you copyright it and you trademark it and you buy it directly from China and you sell that. That's where people make lots and lots of money so just so i understand the actual

podcast idea this is almost like a diy how-to podcast where each week you're just giving people advice and telling them stories and things they can do to get them thinking about being entrepreneurial and making their fortune on on amazon it's exactly that that. It's the ideas of not to use things that are now items, like those fidget spinners. Those are a bit of a now item. They were a very fast trend. Yes, they will sell on Amazon, but not for very long. You want really normal, boring stuff like bags and hats

and things that you'd put on the back of a bathroom door, for example, that you put lots of goodies in for kids. So, Jonah, when your Amazon business was like at its height and you were like you were doing it really full on before you semi-retired to this leisurely lifestyle out here in the canals, what were some of the boring items that you were putting on Amazon that people may be surprised by? The most popular item was Christmas socks. We were selling thousands of them. We were number one on Amazon for Christmas socks in Britain. We were probably selling 2,000 or 3,000 a day.

Just pairs of socks with a Christmas theme? Yeah, a Father Christmas or a reindeer or a Christmas tree. All year round or just at Christmas? No, this was like a mega mega probably about the 10th of november till about the 15th of december and then it went dead because obviously a lot of people thought that they wouldn't be able to get their products in time how did you identify christmas socks as something that i need to buy in a whole stack of these like what was the how did you how did you come up with it? It's very popular, especially in Britain, of getting a pair of Christmas socks in your stocking.

Obviously, you two from Australia, I don't know if that's a very popular thing. But here in Britain, two traditional things would be either an orange or a chocolate orange and a pair of socks. And if it's a novelty pair of socks, i.e. with a snowman on, boom, you've got a British sale. But you're not the only person in the world who knows this surely there are hundreds of amazon sellers that know christmas is coming that know this is a tradition like how were you able to make such a killing on it because i was able to buy such a large quantity of stock ahead of time have it in place have it all ready it's all about the timing really if you buy it too late you've you're

sat with it for another year or if you buy it too early you're not getting your return on your investment quickly enough but it was literally as soon as the boxes were coming in they were being ripped open to get all of the reindeers out and they were gone what else what are some other things that you uh thought you'd never find yourself selling on amazon beanie hats um normal typical woolen beanie hats when it got very cold at times we would sell thousands and thousands of just simple colors nice and easy nice and cheap but people were getting a bit chilly and they fancy a new hat for a new season and they were really really popular was there any kind of research involved?

Were you having to look at statistics and analytics to figure out where the gaps in the market were? Were you just using intuition? Were you throwing things against the wall and seeing what sticks? I think it's a bit of a mixture of everything. And it's always the things that you'll think, people will never buy this. And they sell the most. It's such a strange medium for selling because you can't see the people they don't come in and they don't say they don't pick up the things in a shop it's all

online obviously being amazon you you get a feel from data hard analytical data that's all you've got to go from so this podcast would be talking about how to do that with tips and how to locate and put them yeah i would say it would be about finding good items to sell on amazon for a start to get your idea of of selling through that platform and then taking it to the next level which will be custom branding things with your trademark your branding on it so no one else can sell it and that's the area that i wish i did go into but um i didn't because of circumstances changed but that's where you make your real big money everyone wants to like make a fortune on the internet don't they for people who are going to be going into this and don't listen to this podcast when you eventually make it which i hope you do one day what's like the biggest mistake you can make can make? Like you're talking about a lot of best practice.

What's the stupid mistake that everyone makes and puts them out of business? I would say buying things on trend, buying things that are very now, be it a film, be it a famous pop star and buying, I don't know, let's say, for example, there's a famous pop star and you buy a load of branded bags for kids like rucksacks with their name all over the back of it all it would take is for one of those pop stars to be not as successful be through an incident that they've done they've had an argument with someone they've hit someone they've pushed a reporter over boom that's gone and you've got 20 000 bags sitting in your

warehouse it's so fragile if you deal with things that are very now you just want real everyday boring stuff it's a top idea for a podcast you like that one tim i do i find it fascinating i want to hear more i'm just sitting here listening to it going oh this is great yeah should have a pen and paper well we're going to go for lunch in a minute when we do you should talk to john more about it because i love talking to john about it like his amazon business stuff it's so interesting johnno that was a great idea we've really appreciated having our time here on the canal boat with you today and having two really great ideas from you as well i'm really chuffed to bits that you've thought about coming on to a canal

boat it's so unique it's good it's a great opportunity for Tim to come to Britain and experience something that is extremely British and also experience the very slow down pace of life. I have to say, this is one of the most enjoyable days. It's an absolute pleasure. Thanks heaps, Jono. Now, of course, if you would like to experience more days like this every day, you can check out Jono's YouTube channel, Journey with Jono. Give us a quick summary of what people will see if they go and watch some of your videos. What should they expect to be seeing week on week? Well, I used to work with you in the BBC. And when I left the BBC and I'm saying that I was going to live on an hour boat, everyone's like, you've got to do a YouTube channel on it.

So I've been filming right from day one, from selling my house to buying what's called a sail away boat. So it's not a complete boat, fitting it out. And of course, all navigating all the rivers and the canals of the network. This is a really channel worth having a look at people. I know so many people when they know that I'm a YouTuber that say, oh, I'm going to start a channel and they hope to have some success and do something good. And these sort of things often disappear.

But Jono, who's so good at everything he does and successful at what he does, said, I think, OK, I'll start a YouTube channel. And it has become really successful really quickly and that's because it's really really good so go and have a look at it there will be a link in the show notes and we're going to spend the rest of our day having a nice lunch and poodling along these canals thanks very much guys really really pleasure to see you