The Unmade Podcast - 20: The Christmas Episode

Episode Date: December 21, 2018

Brady and Tim discuss podcast ideas with a Christmas theme. Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFM Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/Unmade_Podcast/ USEFUL LINKS Brady's Christmas Sack - https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5990824849fc2b4c4fe4211b/t/5c1d5096c2241bdf9276b401/1545425056296/sack.jpg

I was resisting the ho-hos. So, Tim, Christmas episodes. No show is complete if they hasn't got, like, you know, a Christmas episode. I know, I know. And this is not just a UK thing, is it? I know you have Christmas specials for shows over there, but there's often the random Christmas episode in American shows shows as well it's a time-honored tradition it is more of a british thing to have like a special episode come out on at christmas over that three or four day period

the office christmas specials are like one of my favorite tv shows ever the british office yeah yeah that's what i mean real christmas specials whereas america they'll just have one episode which is kind of a normal episode except there's a Christmas tree up and someone's stuck at an airport and can't get home or, you know, in time for turkey. And also in America they seem to have Christmas like three or four times a year as well. That's right.

But it's funny when you're watching, you know, DVDs or not DVD, you know, like shows now on Netflix, the Christmas episode, they always turn up randomly. And that's always the case in Australia watching American shows like, you know, Friends or the West Wing, the Christmas episode where we're never watching at Christmas. It's just like a little moment of Christmas in October or April or some other time. But I'm imagining they come out around the Christmas time in their original home. So, Tim, for today, I've been thinking, you know, we should come up with, we should do like a normal episode where we come up with ideas, but they should be somehow Christmas related. I've actually had an idea on my list of like, you know, ideas for us to talk about for a long time now

called the Christmas podcast. So that's the first idea I'd like to discuss if I can. The Christmas podcast. And you've got to be more specific. What about Christmas? Well, okay. Yeah. I'll give you a bit more to work with.

So basically there are two different ways that I've thought about this and I can't decide which one I like more. One is just for the joke of having a podcast where an episode only comes out on christmas day so it's like once once a year you do like a it's christmas like you know yeah and we'll be back again next year with the next episode of the christmas podcast i like that yeah so that's almost it's a bit it's a bit like my blue moon idea from a long time ago but also it's just for the silliness but you could do that but my other idea is and the one that i think is like more legit is to do like a weekly podcast but it's all about christmas and it's like really christmas spirited because so like no matter what time of

year it is once a week you can like experience like just half an hour of christmas and like the hosts are always drinking mulled wine and eating mitzvahs and just talking about Christmassy things. And there's like, you know, Christmassy jingle, jingle bell sounds everywhere. And it's just like a really happy. And I don't know what the content of the show would be. It could just be, you know, guests coming on and talking about Christmas and or talking about like, you know, actual factual things about Christmas, how Christmas is celebrated in different places.

I don't know. It would just be everything. You could have guests coming on who, like, you know, experts that have some Christmas expertise, like someone who's an expert at making tree decorations or discussing favourite recipes. But it's just something that once a week, like, I can imagine it coming out like on a Sunday night or something.

For people who love Christmas, they can just experience half an hour of Christmas once a week all year round on the Christmas podcast. That's nice. That's nice. I like, I do like that idea. Just to live in Christmas all the year round. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

We have at the end of a few streets away from our house, there's a Christmas shop that sells all Christmas-related, you know, well, decorations, basically. Yeah. And it's really fun. It's there all year round. And it's only- And I'm just thinking, who is buying Christmas stuff not at Christmas? It's just there. Have you ever gone in and asked them?

Well, I should. I should go in and- Well, these people could be guests on the Christmas podcast to talk about how they live in Christmas all year round. It sounds like they should make it. Like, it's like, so is the shop, does the shop look Christmassy? So you'd be driving along the street and suddenly there's this really Christmassy ornamenty looking place. Yeah, it's funny. I don't, it's hard to visualize the rest of the time because I drive past it literally every day.

You sort of stop seeing it in a way but except at christmas time you go oh i must go to the christmas shop but the rest of the year i obviously don't think that but it's still there like nothing else goes in there it's not like it shuts down and pops up again it's always there they don't like mothball because i sometimes see like fireworks shops that do lots of business at times when people are buying fireworks and the rest of the time it'll be like shut for weeks at a time it's not like that they're always open are they oh well see now i don't know i i think they're open all the time i drive past it all the time this is a place of mystery man you need to go in there and do some investigative journalism

not now obviously because i'll be really busy but no that's right the rest of the time well that's the maybe it is christmas like maybe like who says when christmas is because christmas is a day but there's the whole that how long does it spread around christmas is is up for for a debate because everyone's always complaining can you believe they've got the decorations up in the shops already oh it's far too early it's's not Christmas yet. But you can pretty safely say from like January to September, at least, is going to be a bit of a fallow period. Well, what if these people are choosing to live in Christmas all the time? Like Christmas is a state of mind. Well, maybe they're like elves and they're like just making stuff for like months and months at a time. Like, you know, if you go in there in February, they'll be like busy elves making all the stuff for next year. All the handmade ornaments and wooden toys and things like that.

Maybe not like busy elves. Maybe they are busy elves. Maybe this is Santa's workshop. Maybe that. And it's in my street. He's outsourced it to a little place in the suburban Adelaide. We've found it. I can't believe it.

You've just blown his cover. Well, I haven't said where it is. Not precisely. And maybe it moves around. Maybe it just looks like a Christmas shop the rest of the time. Or maybe we don't see it because of the magic dust. Tim, maybe no one else can see it except you. You have like Christmas vision and everyone else is just driving past every day.

And you're like saying to your wife, what's up going on with that Christmas shop on our street? And she's like, what Christmas shop on our street? What Christmas? And you're like the chosen one. You know, the place with all the elves making stuff all year round. What are you talking about? It's like I can hear bell ringing all year round as well. You know, like, it's like, what?

No one else can hear that. It's like I can hear bell ringing all year round as well. You know, like, it's like, what? No one else can hear that. Maybe you're like the chosen one who's going to be the next Santa when the current Santa dies. And that's why you can see all his workshops all around the world. That's one of the signs that you're the chosen one. Because you just see Santa at Christmas shops where there are.

It's like I've got Christmas lenses on all the time and i just see christmas at different things everyone just just sees a tree but i see like a big star on top do you think you'd be a good santa uh well work once a year i mean you know that'd be all right yeah eat lots of cookies yeah lots of cookies i think you'd be a good santa although i've never seen you with a decent beard no the beard's a weak spot. But maybe Santa just puts on the beard because beards are annoying. He only needs it, you know, for the photos. No, go away. Santa's beard is real.

I don't think I am the chosen one. I think I've just disqualified myself with those words. That shop's just vanished from your street now. That's right. It's back to being bikes are us or something like that. So anyway, Christmas podcast. Would you listen to it? I don't think you would, would you? Well, no, of course not.

I would check it out. I mean, it would be fun to Christmas podcast. You just listen to it all the time. I tell you what I do is I often will just hum or sing a Christmas carol. I, you know, like a long time ago in Bethlehem, you know, Mary's boy child, I'll just sing, like, it's just, I'll get it as an earworm and I'll sing carols at different times of the year. Like in June or something. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. I don't need it to be Christmas to sing Christmas carols. I'll just be singing a little tune and they'll come to mind. And in that moment, you kind of feel a bit

Christmassy, you know, you feel the ambience and the atmosphere and whatnot. When I say Christmas to you, what's the first, what do you think of? Like what imagery does it conjure up in your brain? I think of immediately a decoration that used to be on our tree when I was a kid, which is of a little reindeer with felt on it. Honestly, I think of this little reindeer because I went looking for it once because I thought it would be at, you know, mum's house amongst old boxes and I couldn't find it anywhere. But it's the thing that comes to mind when I think of Christmas, this particular decoration for some reason. What about you? So, the thing I think of is, you know, I mean, you will know what this is possibly.

Not many other people listening will. But do you know the magic cave that used to be in John Martin's shopping in Adelaide? It's like a grotto where you can go and visit Santa. Yeah, yeah. In the toy department of a big shop in Adelaide. So, which is now I think about it as the most cynical ploy ever because you had to literally walk through the toy department of John Martin's to get to see Santa. So, it was like this ultimate honey trap for kids. Yeah. trap for kids yeah so anyway my mum bought two big red cloth sacks with a big picture of santa's face on it and the and magic cave written underneath in like called beautiful script

and you could have them customized at a time when having things customized wasn't that common and she had one with my name written on it so it it's a big Santa face, magic cave, big red sack and Brady in white letters on the bottom. And another one was for my sister, a matching one for my sister. And every Christmas, we would leave that sack out like next to the tree. And then the next morning when you'd wake up, Santa will have filled the sack with presents. So what was an empty sack the night before was now bulging with presents and it was like so exciting to like, you know, like your head would explode. You'd woken up and you had all these- a sack full of presents.

It was amazing. So, like those- that picture of Santa on the sack is what I think of. And funnily enough, a few years ago, I was back in Australia and my mum still had them and like handed them over. And I've now got it back in England. And actually, my wife just got it out a couple of nights ago from the box of decorations when we were doing the tree. She's like, oh, look, here's your sack. So, I've still got the sack.

And sometimes like my presents will get put in that on Christmas morning still now. You know, now it's just like one or two presents. It's not like overflowing like when you're a kid. So, that picture, that image of that sack and Santa's face on it is like the image of Christmas that's like burned into my retinas. I love that sack. That's great. That's a cool keepsake to have. I'll take a picture of it if I get time and I'll put it in the description for the show.

So, if people want to go and click on it, they can look at my magic Santa sack. When you went to John Martins, which is no longer there, by the way the way yeah did you believe that was santa were you going to meet santa it was so long ago that but the answer would have been yes at some point but you were like spoilers by the way here man spoilers remember there are young ears listening perhaps yeah that's actually that's true tread carefully here. No. You haven't breached any confidences just yet, but, you know. So, I like the idea of a Christmas show that comes out every week.

It is always about Christmas. I do think that's a lot of fun. There's a golf shop in the city that says that we're open every day except Sunday. We play golf. It says that we're open every day except Sunday. We play golf. And I think this is one of those ones where you could make a Christmas episode all year round except on Christmas Day because we're experiencing Christmas. Yeah.

That's right. It's the one day we take off from the podcast. We won't work on Christmas. The Christmas podcast people won't work on Christmas Day. That's our one day off. That'd be a good thing. You put out an episode every day of the year except Christmas day, the Christmas podcast. I love it.

Yeah, that's cool. All right. What have you got? Have you got an idea? What's a Christmassy idea from you? My Christmassy idea is getting people on and talking about something that I think people love talking about any day.

And that is, it is worst Christmas presents. I was going to go with best and worst Christmas presents. My next idea was called best Christmas present ever. So I'm just crossing that out. It's okay. I've got spare ideas. And your idea is better. Yeah.

Worst Christmas presents. It's, I mean, best is cool because there's lots of stories to be had around different ages when you get great Christmas presents. Like I remember getting a BMX bike when I was young and I just couldn't believe it. I just couldn't believe that I'd gotten a BMX bike and it was there under the tree on Christmas morning. One of my best memories was a BMX bike too, but mine wasn't under the tree. After I'd opened all my presents, my dad said, can you go out the front and get the newspaper for me? And I opened the front door.

And when I opened the front door, the BMX was sitting there on the front doorstep. Ready to go. That's cool. Red devil. Ready to go. That's cool. Red devil. Oh, yeah. That's awesome. It was good. BMX bikes are exciting.

And my best friend, two doors down, amazingly got a blue devil matching bike from Santa. So, Santa was really thinking it through. Oh, wow. He was obviously doing that streak. I always wonder why Santa gave me the red devil and Stephen got the blue devil. I always slightly liked the blue devil better a little bit of envy in hindsight red was the cooler one but at the time i just thought maybe that you know the grass is always bluer on the other bmx or something but that's what they say i always i always want i always wanted that blue bmx maybe that's why santa

gave you the red one to teach you a lesson or something about i don't know cultivate envy perhaps because i'd been naughty that year if you'd been a good teach you a lesson or something about, I don't know, cultivate envy, perhaps. Because I'd been naughty that year. If you'd been a good boy, you would have got a blue devil. We've inadvertently done best presents. Now, come on, worst presents. This is interesting because you get bad presents at different times of the year. And I think this is, if your best presents are the ones you remember when you're young, perhaps the worst ones are when you get older because, you know, it's harder to buy good presents for people as they get older. You know what I mean? When you can buy stuff yourself, it's not as exciting.

So maybe these stories are from later in life. I find that hard. Like, it would also be a hard one to do because you'd have to make sure the people who gave you the present don't listen to your podcast. That's true. Can you remember getting a present that you would describe as, like, you know, not good? Yeah, look, I can.

And because I thought of this idea, I then thought, okay, I've got to, what's, and something immediately came to mind. Yeah. Which is a present that I got, and I got it from my mum, who gives pretty legendary presents, I have to say. Yeah. But she gave me a present for Christmas a few few years ago uh of harley davidson bookends which i i pulled them out of the box and i'm looking and these these bookends are

at the they shape like a bike yeah like one end is the back of a harley davidson motorcycle and the other bookend is the front so when you put books in between obviously it looks like a long harley but it's this big chunky thing and i i just i actually kept them and took them to work because they felt so legendary and i'll yeah they're like they're so they're so it's so bad they're great yeah that's right what was the thinking because you don't ride a motorbike oh no but i used to i and but to, but not a Harley Davidson. Like I'm not really a Harley Davidson kind of person, but I did have a little scooter, like a little Vespa scooter. And in fact, I had a whole series of them because they kept getting stolen and then I had to replace them. But mum just, I zipped around town on it because I just loved it. And it's a great way to get

around, but it was not about the bike. You know what I mean? It wasn't nothing to do with like, oh, one day I'll get a Harley Davidson, but now I've just got a scooter. Like it's an entirely different genre. It's just a little Vespa to get around town. But maybe to your sweet mum who doesn't know much about that kind of thing, she was just like, oh, yeah, Tim's a bad boy.

He's got a motorbike. That's right. She didn't know any difference. It's like he likes books and he rides a motorbike and she thought Harley Davidson bookends. Which I didn't know Harley Davidson would make bookends, but this may not have been a certified. Yeah, you wouldn't have thought there was a big market

for Harley Davidson bookends, would you? But yeah. Which is a. I can't see the Sons of Anarchy saying, oh, how are we going to hold these books up? It's a bit of a characterisation. But I think the other thing that I found annoying about them as a present wasn't just that they were really ugly, but they also, because of the way they were made with the bike, the half the bike at one end and half the bike at the other, they actually took up an enormous amount of room. So on the bookshelf where i want to maximize you know

what i mean like firstly i don't need bookends because i've got books that go to the ends of the shelf so the whole concept of bookends didn't make sense like i didn't have a need for it then it have actually having the bookends there and using them because they were a gift took up an enormous amount of space where i could have put other books. So it was actually like this thing is actually hampering the very system that it's supposed to be enabling. It's outrageous. Where are they now? They are at work for a while.

And then I think they're not around anymore. I probably got rid of them, but I can't remember explicitly doing that. They sleep with the fishes. Yeah. They sleep with the fishes. Yeah, they sleep with the fishes. I appreciated the gift as I do, of course. It was a present from mum. So, of course, you appreciate it. And there's lots and lots of them.

And some are hit and some are miss. But these were the example that immediately came to mind when I was thinking of worst presents. And if that's the worst present you get, you're not doing too bad. But yeah, Harley Davidson bookends. Are you going to play this episode to your mum? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'll have a chat to her first.

You water. Well, this episode hasn't been brought to you by a sponsor. It's been brought to you by all the Patreon supporters who help us make the podcast. If you'd like to see their names, go to unmade.fm and then go to the tab that says wall of thanks. And there's a big long list of the people who are helping out. You of course can join them yourself. That'd be a great Christmas present for Tim and I. Go to patreon.com slash unmade.fm. I'll include a link to that in the description and all the stuff underneath the episode. Anyway, let's get back to the show.

Yeah, so what do you got, man? You got another idea? Is it possible to have more than two great Christmas podcast ideas? Here's one. We'll go back to a discussion we've already had. Now, before we do this, spoiler alert, if you have young ears listening to this podcast, Spoiler alert, if you have young ears listening to this podcast, we're about to talk about Santa Claus in...

We're going to be grown-ups talking about Santa Claus. So, maybe pause or stop the podcast at this point if there are innocent ears in the room. That includes your mum, Tim. Seriously, mum, you don't want to keep listening. So, this idea is called how you found out the truth about Santa Claus. Mm-hmm. Because I find people love telling stories about, especially around Christmas time, love telling stories about how the the reality of santa claus came to their knowledge so hang on having given the warning are we still gonna dance around

all right santa claus isn't real i said it right i said it i just thought because you're the chosen one, maybe I should be careful. May not be real is unlikely to be real. That's a, I mean, you know. Hmm. Are you an atheist or an agnostic on this? Because it's never been totally disproven. How did you find out that it isn't Santa Claus who gives you presents every Christmas? I asked mum the question outright.

I had suspicions because my parents went to great lengths to perpetuate it. The question outright. I had suspicions because my parents went to great lengths to perpetuate it. In fact, it wasn't even Santa Claus for a long time because we have a Dutch heritage on my father's side. So there was St. Nicholas who comes on a white horse and all sorts of stuff. So that's who I believed in. How did that mesh with you going to school with a bunch of other kids who had Santa Claus in a sleigh pulled by reindeer? And you were like well I've got some guy that comes on a white horse like how was this playing out I don't know

but I think I in my mind Saint Nicholas was because Saint Nicholas actually is based on a historical figure so I think that I in my mind I thought that was true and because we'd been to Holland and I'd seen him in the street you you know, like in a big street parade. So, like, oh, there he is. Yeah. The idea that I came. I've seen him. The idea that I'd come back to Australia and there were these people that believed in Santa Claus.

I kind of saw that as being fake. And I sort of acquainted that with being fake because the real Saint Nicholas. You know what I mean? So, you were like smugly thinking all these stupid kids believing in santa claus when i know the truth that's right it's saint nicholas it comes on a white horse that's exactly right that's exactly right except that in my mind i think when i finally asked mum about santa claus it was santa claus i was asking about not saint nicholas i think because we went to holland when i was young and then i'd grown up and it kind of meshed when i got back so but, but look, I remember asking-

Does that mean technically you still believe in St. Nicholas? Well, I've never asked mum the question. Technically he still exists. What was it? What had been happening that forced the issue and made you feel like, okay, I'm going to have to ask my mum about this? I don't remember. I just know that it sort of comes up as a topic of conversation. It might have been at school or somewhere, or it might be just a lingering question in my mind. But I remember asking mum about it straight out.

And I remember exactly where I was sitting in the dining room when I did. And I asked mum, is Santa Claus real? And mum looked at me and she said, do you want me to tell you the truth or not? Or do you want me to tell you the truth or not? Or do you want me to tell you a pretend? You know, like, which is sort of a non, you know, and I remember saying, you know, I want you to tell me the truth. And she's like, all right.

You can't handle the truth. Yes. You need Santa Claus on that fence so when you said i want the truth what happened oh then she said no no he's not real no but and and i was like okay all right and i remember thinking you know, that is a bit of a, that's a bit of a big deal. Like, I remember it wasn't like, oh yeah, for sure. It was like, oh, that's new information. Okay. But up until that point, we'd gone to enormous lengths.

Like mum and dad, you know, it was like put out food and cookies and stuff and milk. And then in the morning, like I'd just be sort of waking up Christmas morning and stumbling out of my room and mum and dad would shove the empty glass under my face look it's gone it's gone you know like they were they were going to great lengths to um to perpetuate the myth for for quite a while so it was it was a moment when i realized yeah after that i don't remember thinking about it too much more like i got over it pretty quick so you remember the exact place you were sitting, which I think says something to the power of that moment.

I remember all the exact moments for me too. What happened with you? Well, there's a bit of a backstory to it. I may have told this story before on another podcast. I can't remember, but I'll tell it now anyway. So in typical style for anyone who knows my mum as you do, my mum broke the news to my sister and i unsolicited right while we were decorating the christmas tree i felt like my sister was a bit

deprived because she's 18 months younger so she had 18 months less magic than me and i remember we were kind of a bit shell-shocked and like in this kind of moment of despair we were still like grappling with important questions and i remember one of the first things i said after finding out the trip obviously the first thing you ask is well where do the presents come from like you know there's an obvious hole in your logic here mum because how come i get presents every christmas morning that's right and then she was like well your dad and i put them there and she was like, well, your dad and I put them there. And it was like, ah, that's interesting. It's generous of them. Yeah.

I can see that now. And then you sort of start putting the pieces together. And then in kind of in breathless voice, I think I then asked, what about the Easter bunny? And mum was like, yeah, same, not real. And then there was this like final desperate moment where i was like the tooth fairy no no so everything was just like the whole house of cards came came clattering down the full pantheon disproved yeah it was it was all gone it was all you're right it was all gone at once but i remember my mum was always like wanted us to learn like adult lessons and i

remember the next day we were in the lounge room and um there was a man coming who was like fitting curtains for us and the man said so are you kids looking forward to santa claus coming and giving presents and my sister and i were both straight away we know that santa claus isn't real we know like we said that to him in this really like obnoxious way. Yeah. Because with our new knowledge. And mum was in the room at the time. And this was like a learning moment for her.

And she said, no, no, no, that's not what you do. Like if an adult asks you about Santa Claus and you're still young, you just kind of answer politely and go along with it. And we were like, oh, okay. That's, you know, that's what we do. We have to kind of, we have to kind of we have to pretend that we don't know for the sake of you know other kids and for you know conversation with adults but the other thing that we were told was you're not to tell other kids because a lot of

other kids still believe and it's up to their mummies and daddies when when they tell yeah yeah so of course first thing i did the next day at school was called all my mates together in the playground. And I was like, guys, guys, I've got some big news here. And they're like, what is it? And I said, you know, Santa Claus, he's not real. And I was the first one to have this information. And they were all, that's rubbish, that's rubbish. And my best mate was this kid called Simon.

And he was like the most popular kid in the class. Yeah. And he was like the leader and he believed in Santa Claus and he was like, so he said to all the other guys, Brady's talking crap, trust me, Santa Claus is real. And he basically turned them all against me. Like I was like ostracised for that whole day. Like no one would talk to me and I was like a guy who was making up all this crap about Santa.

And Simon like orchestrated this PR campaign against me. So that was like a really terrible day for me at school. But obviously what happened was that night, he obviously went home and told his parents like, you're not going to believe what Brady said at school today. And then he obviously told them, but don't worry, I've taken care of it. And no one's ever talking to him again. And like, we've like, we've put him in the cold.

And his parents obviously felt like, sorry for me. So they said, look, Simon, we got to tell you something. So the next day, Simon convened this meeting in the schoolyard again and said, guys, I've got some big news. Turns out Brady was telling the truth. Santa Claus isn't real. Wow Wow that's honourable of him And because it came from Simon Who was like you know the cool kid

Everyone believed it So every single person Every single boy in my school Learned the truth all at the same time About Santa Claus But not because of me But because Simon said You were like a real prophet ahead of your time

I was like deep throat It would have been better if you'd met Simon Simon said. You were like a real prophet ahead of your time. I was. I was like deep throat. It would have been better if you'd met Simon like in a car park somewhere in the city in the dead of night and passed on the information, you know, and then he'd gone to school and told everyone. You were his secret informant. Of course, maybe I'm not deep throat. Maybe I'm just a rat. You just went out.

Yeah, yeah. I ratted out Santa. The Grinch ruined Christmas for everyone. It's good. I think everyone's got a story because it's something that happens at some stage, depending on different households and, yeah, different parents. And it's a good, it's a good, that's a definite Christmas-themed podcast that has some legs. I mean, maybe if you were going to generalise it, I don't know how you, to make it like an all year round thing and not just about Christmas. I guess you could make it about how you found out other things, like how you lost the innocence of youth. Yeah, yeah.

Like, you know, like you could deal with, I mean, some of them are quite sensitive subjects, but you could deal with, you know, how you first found out where babies come from or how you first found, I don't know. I'm trying to think of other moments where you'd lose that kind of childlike, you know, pets having pets having to be euthanized. Yeah. All those moments of all those moments where. Yeah. When you cross a Rubicon of knowledge and yeah. Growth and maturity into it.

Oh, right. New world. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think there's ever been cases where people have never been told the truth about Santa and they've just thought santa stopped bringing me presents and then they've had their own kids and thought oh i wonder

if santa's gonna start bringing my kids presents and like they haven't known the truth so they haven't been able to like you know they didn't know that it was on them to get the presents and they're thinking why doesn't santa bring my kids presents like it would do you think that's ever happened there's an idea in this around you know how they talk about soldiers who are left marooned on an island during the war and they continue to live for a decade after the war thinking the war was still going on yeah what if you you that happened to you and you believed in santa and you could just continue to believe in sand long after for some reason yeah it is a story that falls down and every every film tries to disprove the

the disbelief doesn't it every christmas movie is kind of about the idea that a kid believes adults don't believe but then santa comes along and there's always this moment of explanation you know when santa pulls back the curtains and says look this is how it works this is how i make time stand still so i can deliver all those presents. And you know what I mean? Like there's kind of the, they've always got different philosophical reasons as to how it's all possible. But no, I find it more frustrating when they don't do that though,

like Miracle on 34th Street and things like that, where like the adults just choose to believe without proof and like even kind of a wink or acknowledgement that it's still not true. But the parents just decide, like, to believe because it's magical, like, it's nice to believe. And you're thinking, no, you've just chosen to not think rationally anymore for, like, for no apparent reason. Like, I don't know, I find that more weird.

Like, yes, he exists in all of us if we want to believe he's real. No, no, no. That's not how reality works. Anyway. Anyway. What could you do? Yeah. There was a Christmas movie that I think the best Christmas,

we've sort of morphed into Christmas movies now. It was inevitable. That's right. We'll go with this for a bit because the christmas movies there are um there's one that is not available on netflix for some reason and i find it really hard to find which is santa claus the movie do you remember santa claus the movie santa claus the movie yeah i mean i bought it on itunes i've got it permanently on my on mine i just i just put it on every christmas a couple of times santa claus

the movie is the best christmas movie oh well i agree i love it and i but i can't find it anywhere it's not on the anyway the itunes where i am but i'll have to keep searching i understand that was a massive flop but i loved it and it's there's something magical about its mechanical nature like it's all i love the fact that the the workshop with the elves is all, it's all wooden and it's been put together in a really sort of mechanical kind of way. It feels grounded and earthy rather than, I don't know, magical and mystical and sci-fi. And it feels more real. Like when I think of Santa's workshop, that's what I think of. And I think, oh yeah, no, that looks credible. That looks like it's a serious operation with, you know, real factory settings and whatnot. My fourth idea is called Nachos for Christmas.

This idea actually came from someone else when I was discussing the possibility of an idea. And they were talking about how people find the huge organised rituals of Christmas sometimes a bit overwhelming or expensive. She heard about a family that decided to basically kind of reinvent the way they did Christmas in a different kind of way. And they basically said, what do we want to eat? And they decided on nachos and ice cream. Nice. what do we want to eat and they decided on nachos and ice cream nice and so they instead of doing you know the turkey and then the ham and then the baked potatoes and then the christmas pudding and the whole shebang which falls on a couple of people to do a huge amount of cooking and organization because of where their life was at and what was going on they decided to have nachos

for christmas and i wonder if there's a podcast idea in sort of hints to simplify or to change or to make Christmas, like cheats in a way, different and bearable and reinvented. And so my idea is nachos for Christmas, you know, how to make an affordable Christmas or something like that. I like the title nachos for Christmas. And I like the idea of talking about different people's Christmas traditions. I don't so much like the idea of making it cheap and affordable. That sounds to me like a bit, a bit like worthy and a bit like, I don't know, like I just have a resistance to that kind of, it doesn't, it doesn't speak to me, but I do like the idea of speaking to different people that have different Christmas traditions for different reasons. And some of those reasons could have been budget reasons you know we decided to do

away with the expense and just have a bowl of nachos instead every christmas but so i like the idea of finding out what people do for christmas and how everyone's christmas is different from everyone else's i wouldn't be too turned on by the idea of it all being about you know let's make it more affordable but you know it's your idea well that was i think that was the motivation behind why this particular person who i think they read it in a magazine somewhere but of course there could be you know there could be other motivations as well because it wasn't just budgetary it was also and this is what we love to eat this will be great and, I think, do it regularly now. They've done it again.

Let's do nachos for Christmas because we love nachos and it's easy. So, it's actually in some ways becoming their own ritual. Does your family have any, like, things they would always do on Christmas that all your friends thought was, like, weird or different or, you know? I mean, everyone thinks their Christmas is normal. But did you have any Christmas traditions that you later learned was quirky or unique to your family? I don't know if it was quirky, if we had any little quirky attributes. The thing I appreciate in retrospect, which was totally normal at the time, and this is normal for lots of people, I imagine, is we always had other people come and join us. so people from the wider community that mum and dad knew um who didn't have somewhere to go particularly say some elderly people or other folks who didn't have a place to go because there

were just the three of us because i'm an only child there were but there were always more than three of us for christmas which was at the at the time seemed normal and in retrospect i look back and go oh that's great i really really appreciate that mum and dad did that but i don't think there's anything particular. There's lots of things in Australian culture that happen. Like on Christmas afternoon, you often get out and play backyard cricket. That's pretty standard for every day during the holidays in summer. But I think some families, I know that's a real Christmas thing.

I've certainly found since moving to the UK and having lots more American friends now as well, that there is that lack of understanding of how a Southern Hemisphere Christmas is different. Like, cause now my Christmases are very cold and like cliched, like I used to see on TV and maybe snow and, you know, very indoors and hot meals and that. But of course I was brought up with that Australian Christmas

and quite often cold food and everything was outside and playing sport and swimming and going to the beach and that. And I feel like, yeah, I feel like people here don't get it or they find that they do find it very strange. And it just never even occurs to them that there is that other kind of Christmas that you and I have had all our lives. When you talk about it with them, do they understand or think it's strange that Australians still use the same cultural attache. So, we still have a tree and then we might put little bits of, you know, like stuff on it to imitate snow.

You know, we spray paint the windows and it's a hot, you know, it's like 40 degrees sometimes in Adelaide, Celsius that is. And you've sprayed fake frost all over the windows. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. From a Northern Hemisphere perspective, that must be strange. I don't think they're particularly aware of it, or it just plays to their kind of Northern Hemisphere-centric attitude anyway. They probably think, well, of course you'd have snow on your trees because it's Christmas.

They probably just think that's more the right thing to do. And the other things we do, like swim in a pool or play cricket, are like the weird things. Did you have anything that was, in retrospect, kind of really innovative or different or unique about your Christmas when you were young? It's not innovative. And I know a lot of people have this,

but my favourite time for Christmas was Christmas Eve because Christmas Eve was when we would go to my auntie and cousin's house who I got along well with. And that was always a really fun night and a fun day. It was a fun day of playing cricket with my cousins and then good food. My auntie's a good cook. And also lots of present exchanging was done then. That's when auntie and uncle would give and would give

presents to us and we would give our presents to my cousins. Christmas morning was still when I got my Santa presents and my main hole from mum and dad. But that was always a really fun day and fun night and impatiently waiting, okay, can we do the presents now? Can we do the presents now? And my happiest Christmas memories are all Christmas Eves up in the Adelaide Hills at my auntie's house. I like Christmas Eve too. We always sit around and watch carols by candlelight.

The highlight of that is always when someone sings The Holy City and I love that as a kid. It used to give me tingles and it still gives me tingles now. I love that. And it feels that that feels like a great moment on, on Christmas Eve. So I've got one last idea. I know I'm not supposed to have another idea,

but I'm going to chuck this quick final idea in. And the reason I want to do it is because this is actually a legitimate idea I've had for a while for like more like a YouTube channel, but I'm never going to make it and it's never going to happen an unmade podcast is my best chance to get it out there so i'll quickly i'll say it's an idea for a podcast but really it's more of an idea for a video series all right every year we we get our christmas tree from a christmas tree farm like a couple of weeks before christmas you go and you pick a tree and then they cut it down for you and you bring it home and decorate it.

But the problem is if you leave it too late, the good trees are all gone. So now about a month before, we go and reserve a tree we like the look of and then a couple of weeks before Christmas, they've put like a little ribbon around it so no one else can have it and then we cut that one down and bring it home. And we've gotten to know the guy that runs the christmas tree farm quite well and i always talk to him about you know what's the day after christmas like because whenever i see him it's like he's crazy busy it's this insane time for him but like i'm really interested in what happens the day after christmas and he has to

manage the farm and he's always planting new trees and they're all at different parts of their growth life and it's a really interesting idea running this massive property full of Christmas tree farms. And he's busy all year round, you know, with managing the operation. And obviously it's only busy with customers around Christmas. And he always tells me how he runs it and what he does. And I'm always really fascinated by it. And every year I say to him, you know what, you should have a YouTube channel just called the Christmas tree farmer. Cause I'd be curious to know what what's he doing what's the christmas tree farmer doing in february like what does he have to do how is he managing his land what's how are the trees and stuff like that so my podcast idea is called the christmas tree farmer

and it's just like weekly or monthly updates from a guy who runs a christmas tree. Obviously, the marquee episodes are going to be around Christmas time. There are some people whose whole vocation revolves around one day a year. That's fascinating. You know, he's just doing preparation for one day a year. And that's a good podcast idea, isn't it? And to call it one day a year, people who, you know, Halloween, Easter, Super Bowl, you know, things like that. People whose whole business depends on just one day. One day.

I like it. Valentine's Day. Yeah, yeah. Well, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas, Tim. I hope you have a Merry Christmas to you. Thank you very much. And also a Merry Christmas to all the Unmade podcast listeners. I guess we should thank them for listening to us.

Absolutely. Thank you. Merry Christmas, everybody. All right. podcast listeners think i guess we should thank them for for listening to us absolutely thank you merry christmas everybody all right from from santa's heir apparent