The Unmade Podcast - 36: Confession Booth

Episode Date: November 12, 2019

Tim and Brady discuss pod points, confessions, Garth Brooks, Brewster’s Millions, The Eagles, and a few other things. Enjoy the show, civilians! Hover - register your domain now and get 10% off by going to hover.com/unmade - promo code UNMADE at checkout - https://www.hover.com/Unmade Support us on Patreon - https://redd.it/dvhdhp Join the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/Unmade_Podcast/ USEFUL LINKS The Dance by Garth Brooks - and written by Tony Arata - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=149XR6htQwU Uluru ‘sorry rocks’ - https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/585968/uluru-australia-cursed-rocks Brewster’s Millions Trailer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wNqNO3jqkk Inverted Jenny - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inverted_Jenny The Eagles - https://eagles.com Brady’s Gold Bullion video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTtf5s2HFkA Get some Appleton 50-year rum! - https://amzn.to/2NHMaT2

as usual like i'm sure we've both got like a normal idea but i've had like a last minute idea on a whim that has little preparation and i always think they're good to chuck in at the start so should i go ahead with that all right all right i actually tell you where this idea came from i parked at a supermarket and i parked right next to all the charging car parks for like electrical charging for like electric cars where they have you know all the different branded you know your Tesla and Volkswagen and that yeah and there was one little contraption there for people to charge their car with which was just like a how to describe it was like a pillar it was almost like a post box but it was for charging your car yeah and. And it was called Podpoint.

And it occurred to me, if you made a device that looked like that, like called the Podpoint, and you just put it in like public places, like Rundle Mole or Trafalgar Square and things like that, and it had a microphone and a button, and people could just come up and hold down a button and record audio into it for however short or as long as they wanted, to say whatever they wanted like a speaker's corner type scenario and then you just put that together into a podcast each week and the pod point could be in a permanent location or you could move it around and it was

just a chance for people to talk about whatever they wanted and you turn it into a big mash-up that's not a bad idea you could edit out rubbish and yeah there's got to be some interesting stuff amongst it yeah Yeah. Yeah. Pod point. Leave some rubbish in too. Sometimes that's the fun stuff. Well, that's what this podcast is built on. Yeah.

This is just all the rubbish. We actually make this brilliant podcast every week and I cut out all the good stuff and just leave the unmade podcast. All the rubbish. This is the be real. We're saving up the good stuff. One day I'm going to release all the good stuff and people's minds are going to be blown. Oh, my God, you've been saying all that good stuff for years and we've never heard it. That's right.

Like back in that first episode when I thought of an Unmade Podcast idea called This American Life and- Serial. The Daily. Damn, we should have done those. We should have. We should have. We missed it. We missed it.

We missed the opportunity. Like that TV sitcom we wrote back when we were in high school called Seinfeld. Man, don't keep bringing that up i see jason alexander is is touring adelaide for the fringe festival next year oh not touring adelaide like different parts of adelaide like he's doing salisbury and then mclaren vale that's right doing a summer of george just wandering around five nights in glengarry that's right apparently he's a big fan of the podcast and he wants to see all the sites i imagine if he's not going anywhere else he's only coming to australia and to adelaide because that's where seinfeld is still massive and it's the one place he can get he's basically

coming to your house he sold out tim's house 19 nights in a row yeah that would be well it won't be particularly interesting but it would be interesting to see are you going i had i'd mentioned about going almost as a joke because i'm not particularly interested but i did say to a friend it's almost like you want to go because then it'd be a funny thing to talk about on the podcast and to joke about can you believe we're here seeing one character from one sitcom from 25 years ago talking about- It'll be a work expense. It could be. That's right.

Yeah, yeah. Well, now you've mentioned it will be. That's right. Yeah. Definitely going. That's right. We're going out for dinner beforehand too. Just to point out, it'll be your work expense.

All right. Don't be sending me no receipts. I just send you the invoices, man. So, Podpoint in the supermarket, fair enough. Well well it could be just anywhere but i think it's i told my wife i said oh that's a good idea isn't it she said don't do that on unmade podcast that's a really good idea but it's not like i'm going to build this thing and ever do it there is there's a slight bit of work involved isn't it like having an automatic recording device in a public place yeah that's true actually there would be a few anyway let's do proper ideas that have been given a good two or three minutes thought that's all right good serious serious ideas who's going first did you have

something more serious that's right there that you wanted to get into i have got actually my idea today is quite serious oh okay like still it'd still be fun and funny, but it also, like, I was thinking about it on the drive home before we started recording, and, you know, I went quite deep into sort of introspection and thinking about the meaning of life and stuff, so I've got a good one. Well, I'm turning off the funny and putting on my serious face.

Oh, no, no, no, no, don't turn off the funny. I don't want to bring the mood down um too late yep all right my oh dear now i'm all reflective and dour that's right you've gone into uh gone into serious mode well maybe you should because my idea is uh what will i call it i'd probably call it the confessional booth, right? And the idea is guests come on and confess, admit to something that they've never confessed to publicly before. Now, the idea is not to be like serious and admit to murders or crimes or like, you know, deep, deep moral things.

I have more of a preference for things perhaps from when you were a kid, like a naughty thing you did as a kid that you've never actually owned up to. Yeah, yeah. And this is the time as an adult to finally get it off your chest. This is a good idea. What better host could there be than you as well, Tim, you know? In your other life, you're a minister, you'd be really good at this, wouldn't you? In fact, maybe you'd be too good at this.

Or that you shouldn't do this podcast. It's the Catholic Church that has the confessional booth, the formal one. Yeah. But this is an intriguing idea. In fact, this kind of thing in a multimedia sense has been done before. You may not remember it with U2. All right. On their Zoo TV tour, when they were playing stadiums, they had a little booth called the confessional booth.

And people before the show would go in and just admit to things to a video camera and then they would edit them up. And in the sort of the encore break in the show, they just played a whole bunch of them over the screens. And it was fascinating to see. Yeah, people just confessing to all sorts of little bits and pieces. You didn't go in there and do one? No, because I had such a great spot, like, for the show,

so I didn't want to leave my spot near the fence right at the end of the sort of walkway. I was like, no, no, no. I'm not going anywhere. That's prized real estate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a good idea, though. This is a good idea. You got one?

You know, you're going to confess to anything tonight? Do you know I do have a little confession? And it's, I don't know if I've ever told you this. I've held on to it for a long time and it goes back to school. Oh, dear. I'm nervous. It involves, it's kind of a funny thing yeah in my mind i imagine that we had something like 24 poems to either write or analyze or do something with and

i was i mean you're getting pretty empty trying to get to 24 poems right yeah and so so i remember resorting to some lyrics from some CDs. What songs did you use? Well, I tell you what I did. I only did, I can only remember one specific example because I think I only maybe did it once. This is the only one I can remember. Yeah. And the reason I can remember it firstly it was garth

brooks the dance legend great song great song great lyrics in fact very famous song to have chosen i guess in australia you're on safe territory you wouldn't want to have done that in the south of america back in back in in 1993 i think i was the only garth brooks fan in australia until you became a fan as well so So I think I kind of chose well. But they're quite clever lyrics and almost too clever for a 17-year-old schoolboy. Looking back on the memory of... But the problem with this is they were so good that when the end of your school magazine came out. Oh, no.

They're printed in the magazine. Oh, no. So they're there at home in the magazine. The lyrics to a famous song by Tim Hine. That's right. Garth Brooks, The Dance. Well, that's right. It's song by Tim Hine. That's right. Garth Brooks, The Dance. Well, that's right. It's just by Tim Hine. And I just took one little stanza and you read it now and you go, oh, that is a brilliant little piece of poetry.

What part of the song? Do you remember what part was attributed to you? It was the bit. It's the key sort of line, the premise of the song. I know you know the song. It was the key sort of line, the premise of the song. I know you know the song, but the premise of the song is, you know, looking back about a relationship and a lost love,

and it didn't quite work out. On the memory of the dance we shared. That's right. The stars above for a moment. I won't explain it. I'll have a drink because you're singing it. I'll just sing in the background. It's beautiful. And he says, we look back and we think, well, at least I had the dance.

This beautiful moment was all worth it for the dance. The dance. Even though it didn't work out with the girl, you had this one dance that was a great memory. And for that moment, you felt like a real hero that's right you know it's a beautiful song and i've heard garth say that if you could only sing one of his songs you know like a hundred times again then he would sing that one over and over that's his favorite he said i'd sing the song that was written by that high school kid in adelaide i should write it i would be you know what the ultimate irony would be is if he wrote a poem called The Poem. And it was about a guy whose whole life was worth it just for one poem that he wrote and got published.

So that's my little confession. I'm a published. Your confession is like immortalized. I've got those school magazines in a trunk here somewhere. I'm going to look them up. Submit them as evidence. I love that it got printed in the school magazine. I know.

It's just- The Dance by Tim Hine. I thought I'll pick a nice lyric, never thinking, hang on, you don't pick a really good lyric because it might this, you know what I mean? It might get picked up. You don't pick a really good lyric because it might this, you know what I mean? It might get picked up. You don't pick the chorus. I could have.

What else could I have picked? I could have picked, you know, two paths lead into a forest and I took the one less travelled by. In the end, that has made all the difference. Money, money, money. Let it be, let it be. Hey, Jude. These beautiful lyrics. Amazing Grace by Tim Hines.

That's right. Anyway, well, what about you? Come on, man, you've got to have something to top that. Well, I know the confession that my sister wants me to make. And if I had done this, it would be a good example of a confession. If I had done it, which I'm not saying I did. Back when I was very young, someone wrote using my favourite silver crayon that only I ever used because I loved it so much. Someone wrote my initials BH on my nan's bathroom wall.

And my nan was very angry when she found it. Whoa. And I denied any knowledge of how it happened. My initials with my crayon. Someone broke in and wrote your initials. Well, I said it must have been my sister. My sister, who was asleep at the time was completely baffled and bamboozled to be woken up by my nan and accused of writing her brother's

initials in her brother's crayon oh bathroom wall my sister who has no guile or a bad bone in her body and would never even think to incriminate someone else no so she she obviously was just completely baffled and denied all knowledge and i did i steadfastly denied responsibility so my nan banned us from watching any television until one of us confessed to it and i basically told my sister she had to confess to it i just wore her down over time until until if anyone who's ever watched those netflix series about people who confess to crimes they didn't commit and always say how could you do that how would anyone ever confess to a crime they didn't commit i have seen it happen and and eventually my sister confessed to it and there's a whole story that comes later but to this day uh it comes up this this i mean

this must have been 40 years ago something like that to this day it comes up. I mean, this must have been 40 years ago, something like that. To this day, it comes up all the time. And my sister would love to hear me confess to that here on the podcast right now. Have you never confessed to it? She brings it up. Well, I mean, she confessed to it, so she obviously did it. So, there we have it. But maybe my sister should come on this podcast and confess to it again.

I'm going to ask you straight out, man. Did you do it? Did you do it? Let me change the subject. I am going to give you a true confession. And this is something I don't think I've ever discussed with anyone. So, this is like, this is the real deal. This is what my podcast is about and I'm going to do it.

And this is what I was talking about when I said this is like from the heart serious. Right. Because this has been like weighing on me for many, many years. Are you ready? Well, yes. Okay. So, this story, again, I'm very, very young here. Very, very young.

I don't know how old, but I'm imagining, I think single digits, obviously. Okay. In age, I think. Can I just say, I'm already disappointed because I was so hoping you were going to finally tell me how you did that card trick. No. No. No. So, very young. This story involves my Uncle Don, who you know.

Yes. You know my Uncle Don. Uncle Don. He is a great guy. He's a very, like, godly, moral man, which is part of where the story comes from. So, it's worth bearing in mind. But the other thing to bear in mind he's also very funny he's always the life of the party and like such a fun guy such a fun guy and so for me he was always a subject of fun going and any

interaction with uncle don involved jokes and mucking around and he was like my fun uncle i talk about as though i talk about him in the past tense he He's still with us and a top guy. Yes, that's right. He's still a fun guy. Yeah, he is. So, another thing is he's also a musician. He's a very good musician, very good drummer. So, it was either Christmas or his birthday. I think it was Christmas, actually, because everyone was getting presents, I seem to recall.

And my mum had bought for Uncle Don as a Christmas present, these like porcelain china ornaments of musical notes. I don't know what they're called, crotchets and semi-quavers and whatever musical notes are called, you know. She had bought porcelain ornaments of musical notes because it was like an appropriate decoration for the house of a musician. Yeah. And they were very nice.

Yeah. Mum bought them and she'd wrapped them. And it wasn't present opening time yet. And they were sitting on the side of a counter or something like that. And I was a little boy running around playing. And I remember running past these presents and I knocked one of them off the side and it fell to the ground and it made a noise that isn't good when a piece of porcelain lands on the ground and it made a noise that isn't good when a piece of porcelain

lands on the ground and i looked around and like i think i hastily put it back and just went about my business nothing to see here so that you know i didn't want to get in trouble and no one had seen so later on in the evening when present opening time came and everyone was opening their presents in a frenzy my mum was really excited about giving this present to Uncle Don. Uncle Don unwrapped the present and one or both of these porcelain musical notes was broken. It was broken into pieces. And Don was like, oh, it's broken. And my mum was really upset. Oh, no, I can't believe it.

How did that happen? Oh, no. She was like, you know, she was visibly upset. You know, it wasn't like devastating. It was just a broken present. But, you know. And Don was like, oh know, she was visibly upset. And then, you know, it wasn't like devastating. It was just a broken present. But, you know, and Don was like, oh, don't worry about it. And mum was like, oh, have I got the receipt or I'll buy you another one. And things, you know, it was dealt with as adults deal with such things.

And I just kept my mouth shut. I knew it was me. Did your sister confess to it? No, I don't think my sister confessed to this one. There was no, there was, It was a victimless crime. There was no investigation. I think it was just assumed it had broken in the car or something. I don't know. Anyway, later in the evening, I was like, I think I was in the bathroom or I was in another room in the house or something on my own. And Uncle Don walks in and says, can I have a talk

to you, Brady? Very serious. to you brady very serious and uncle don's never serious and sat me down and said i just want you to know that earlier today i saw you like knock the present off the counter and it broke and i saw that happen and i'm not going to tell your mum and i'm not going to tell anyone but i think you should think about what the right thing to do is and i'm just going to leave it with but I think you should think about what the right thing to do is. And I'm just going to leave it with you. So, that was like a life lesson moment. And he was like, he was putting me to the test.

Yeah, yeah. And I was like, shocked and like, I don't know. I was a little kid. I don't know. What do little kids, I don't know. But I still remember everything. I remember where he was sitting. I remember everything about the moment.

And then he just, he said, I'll leave you to it. Everything's okay. He was really good, but he was really serious. And I'd never seen Uncle Don serious. And he left the room. And I didn't admit to it. You didn't do anything about it? I did nothing. Oh, no.

And it's like a shame that has lived with me for years and years. Well, it's lived with me since I was a little six or seven-year-old boy. That I didn't like, I don't know. You know, my mum was in me since I was a little six or seven-year-old boy that I didn't like. I don't know. You know, my mum was, I thought I'd get in trouble. And, you know, my mum, as you know, is a really formidable woman. And, you know, I thought, I just thought I'd get in big trouble for it. And I didn't know what to do.

And as a kid, these things are so massive, aren't they? They're disproportionate. Yeah. And I was told he wasn't going to tell anyone. So, I was the hook i don't i don't remember what my logic was or what my thinking was i just remember i never admitted to it to this to this day it haunts me and also like i don't know whether the adults discussed it because i've never discussed it with my mum or don i like did did they did did uncle don say to my mum hey you know i actually know what happened and i've spoken to brady and mum was like okay let's you know i

don't think uncle don would have told my mum because my mum's not the sort of person who would have let me get away with it so i feel like if uncle don had told my mum eventually i would have been disciplined or spoken to about about the lie more than about breaking something. You know, the cover up, of course, you know, little kids always break stuff. But my mum is not the sort of person who I imagine would have like said, OK, I won't discuss it. But maybe Uncle Don said, look, I promised I wouldn't tell. So maybe mum and then she forgot it.

I don't know. I don't know. Look at this. How old was I? Seven years old. And still I think about it all the time. There's my confession. It's off my chest. It's done. I don't know. Look at this. How old was I? Seven years old? And still I think about it all the time. There's my confession. It's off my chest.

It's done. I broke it. I did it. You did it. You did it well. It was me. Uncle Don seemed to know that you'd come to Crane 40 years later. He's played the long game.

Uncle Don will listen to this and go, I'm proud of him. I knew he'd own up. He probably didn't tell. He probably held it and just thought, well, I've done the right thing by braids to there and, you know. Yeah. The lesson is in the conversation. Yeah, you're right.

You're right. The fact I didn't, because I think I'm pretty honest and like an own-up kind of guy most of the time. And maybe that was part of that, you know? I don't know. You say you're honest, but all the stories tonight so far are pointing in the opposite direction. It's a tissue of lies. My life.

No, it's funny. What is these things you hold on to? And when you're a kid, it's like in this is the great inside of the tv show the wonder years you know when you think inside a little kid's mind and he's worried about this and worried about that because these things do get built up and you see them in a different perspective when you're older but not not that they're not matters of you know ethical consideration you're learning right from wrong and there you go have you literally never talked to anyone about that i don't think so i think that's the first time I've discussed it.

I don't know. I could be lying about that. It is funny. I mean, I just, I mean, I felt terrible about, I actually feel terrible now thinking about what I confessed before. Even though it's this tiny little thing. You know what you should do? You know how there's that thing where, you know how when you're not supposed to take bits of stone and rock from Ayers Rock from Uluru? Yeah.

But people do it all the time. And then they always say their life turns really unlucky and stuff. And they always send the stone back in the post. I don't know about that. Every year, like the tourist office at Uluru gets kilograms and kilograms of returned rock in the post from people saying, look, I took this piece of rock from Uluru. I know I shouldn't have. Ever since everything's gone wrong and, you know, my dog died and I've got, you know,

broke my leg. And I think it's because I took this rock. Can you please go and put it back on the rock for me? It's like a big thing. It's a famous story about Ayers Rock. I've never heard that before. Well, there you go. I'm not lying.

I promise you can Google it. So, I think you should do the same thing for, like, Garth Brooks. You should just send him, like, a royalty check in the post. Like, just randomly to say, look, this has been weighing on my mind for 20 years. In fact, he didn't write the dance, did he? No, he didn't. No. Yeah.

So, you should look up who wrote it, was it? He did the same thing. Yeah. Imagine when that guy finds out that his song's been played all over the country. Imagine if he's like, imagine if he's never heard the Garth Brooks version, but he finds your poem in the school magazine. That's right. I'm going to look up who wrote the dance So he gets his credit here on the show

I used to know this Tony Arata Because he's the only That's the only song he wrote that Garth recorded Like you know what I mean Like Garth had a lot of co-writes With other writing partners and bits and pieces But this was wholly his work

The Dance is a song written and composed By Tony Arata and tim hein and recorded by american country music singer garth brooks as the 10th and final track from his self-titled debut album i may have added a bit there oh it is and i know we have some younger listeners and let me let this be a lesson to you here i'm doing an uncle dunn talk now where i was it was very wrong but that's the thing i wondered this is what would happen people would come on and confess stuff and they'd say this is a little thing but i always want to say it and then by the time you've actually said it there's something cathartic but also

you start realizing oh okay and i you know just want to let everyone know this was a big thing like i really the thing with this idea is you know how for example listening to people's dreams is considered quite boring and having to look through people's holiday photos is normally let's be honest a bit boring do you think this is boring and only interesting to the person telling the story like when i told you that uncle don's story did that seem so ridiculously trivial like a seven-year-old boy breaking a christmas present you know 30 40 years ago did it have it was interesting to you because i found your confession about the song really interesting like even though it's a trivial thing and just a bit of a joke i found it really compelling i think maybe these

are compelling stories no matter how trivial they are it It might be. I mean, it might be the listeners are the better judges of that because I know you and you know me. You know what I mean? And you know the school and I know Uncle Don. So maybe that's the insight that you can picture it and get inside it. But I do think this idea has merit. And it's one of those ones as well where if notable people people you know come on and admit to something then that might be of interest to but maybe ordinary people ordinary people civilians just like us civilians is that is that what we call people who listen to the

unmade podcast civilians that's right not professional so you know there are celebrities and then there's everyone else that are civilians You know, that aren't in the big stupid game All right, well, all you civilians out there listening to the show If you want to share your confessions with us Go on to the Reddit We'd love to hear from you civilians That's right

And amongst the non-civilians We only want to hear from Tom Hanks No one else, no one else All right, Tom Hanks Who is our else. No one else. All right. Tom Hanks, who is our generic famous person used for all examples. That's right. Generic famous person, Tom Hanks. That needs to get on his Wikipedia page.

He's such a nice guy, though, isn't he? I mean, really. He is nice. I bet he'd have nothing to confess. No, that's right. Yeah. He's just lovely. He's perfect. Yeah.

Quick ad. Yes, that's right. Yeah. He's just lovely. He's perfect. Quick ad. Yes. Yes. Yes. Is it for Hover? Because I almost used Hover this month. Oh, really? Well, it is for Hover.

So, Hover, the domain registrar company that we know and love and that I use all the time and that Tim almost used this month. I almost used it. Tim could have almost got 10% off his Hover purchase. That's right. By going to hover.com slash unmade. That's hover.com slash unmade. Promo code unmade, 10% off, best domain registrar.

If you want to know more about them, go back and listen to many of our previous episodes where we've discussed them. But Tim, how did you almost use Hover? Tell us your story of almostness. Oh, well, I'm just looking at a web page for the church that I'm now moved to being the minister of and looking at redoing it, maybe choosing a different name and adjusting it and thought, when I do this, I'm going to use Hover. And I thought, oh, no, but I'll wait until next month when the design and I've worked

with the web people a little bit more. Okay. I will use it, but I almost used it. All right. So in a future Hover promotion, we may even discuss you actually using Hover. That's right. And are you going to get 10% off? Yes, yes.

Oh, absolutely. How are you going to do that? I will do it by going to hover.com slash unmade. Or I'll go to tim.ninja. Is that still it? No, timhein.ninja. Tim Hein. I'll go to timhein.ninja.

And that will get me straight through because that's the back door to the 10% off. That's the secret way that civilians can use. That's right. That's the secret. Thank you, Hover, for supporting the Unmade podcast. Absolutely. All right, Tim, what have you got? Okay, my idea tonight is called Brewster's Options.

So this is a podcast exploring in intricate detail the complexities and ideas around the film Brewster's Millions particularly the challenge that Brewster is set and ways and other ways that he could have met this challenge so this film was remade recently wasn't it are we gonna can we talk about the original because I haven't watched the remake but I've watched the original like a thousand times so it was remade again was it uh oh yeah because the because the original because I haven't watched the remake, but I've watched the original like a thousand times. It was remade again, was it? Oh, yeah, because the original is a remake too, isn't it? Do you know what I found? 13 remakes.

Yeah. 13 remakes of a novel that was written like 100 years ago. So, let's talk about the Richard Pryor version, which for me is the canonical version that I've watched many, many times. Oh, yeah. Richard Pryor, John Candy film. 1985. Brewster I've watched many many times oh yeah Richard Pryor John Candy film 1985 millions yep 85 was it okay do you want to do you want to tell people what his in a nutshell what his challenge is because once you know that it's fine what's that what's the challenge he has set he's he's set this particular challenge where he's this is a guy who is a sort of a a baseball player with not many prospects and not a lot of money.

And he's contacted to say that he's inherited money from a long lost relative. But it's quite a bit of money, but there's some conditions attached to it. And the conditions are that he's given two options. One is you can take a million dollars now, walk away happy, no worries, no strings attached. dollars now walk away happy no worries no strings attached or he can take on a challenge to spend 30 million dollars in 30 days but he can't have any assets at the end of it and if he does so successfully then he inherits i think it's 300 million dollars yes this is correct can you spend 30 million dollars in 30 days and have nothing to show for it at the end? No assets, nothing.

That's right. Nothing of value. There's a few, you know, sort of rules associated with it. So like he says, oh, I suppose you're thinking of just buying a few Picassos and burning them. You're not allowed to do that. So you can't destroy something with great value. You have to get value for any service that you provide. So you can't just hire a taxi for an hour and pay the guy $30 million.

You know, you can only give 5% to charity. He's audited. He's closely watched and audited throughout the process. So, yeah. That's right. Yeah, yeah. 5% on gambling. He can give 5% to charity.

And he's not allowed to tell anyone what he's doing. So he looks crazy and irrational, which sort of adds to the tension of the film so it's a it's it's in some ways it's kind of a funny movie but it's more an enjoyable movie because it's such a fun premise to watch him go about it you know what i mean it's it's i loved this film as a kid i must have watched this film 20 times yeah yeah I've seen it over and over. And I watched it again the other day. And it is one of those ones that just pops up and you go, well, yeah, no, like planes, trains and automobiles, you know, these sorts of funny. And it's just like, this is a great premise.

I can watch this film. And it's great. Yeah. The thing is, though, and this is always a little bit of debate around the validity of some of the things that he does to spend the money. The idea of the podcast is what would you do if you were in Brewster's position, basically? Well, that's right. That's right. Because we were starting to text while I was watching it and we're going, you know, could he do this or could do that?

And you were starting to send ideas. And I just suddenly thought, this is an idea. This is an idea. I'll save this. Because I think it's of inherent interest. interest now do you have opinions about this i have a million opinions about this this is something that i've thought about long and hard back in the day i haven't seen the film for a long time but i remember a lot of the things he does quite well and i remember when you texted me about it the first thing i thing I said, because the scene in it that was most memorable to me and has always stuck with me, is he buys this incredibly valuable rare stamp called the inverted Jenny.

These are these stamps where the plane was accidentally printed upside down on the stamp. They're very famous. It's a real thing and they're very famous. People probably know about it. And he buys it and the people who are watching him and auditing him who want him to fail because they will get the money if he fails so they're kind of hoping that he will muck up and they see in the newspaper that he's bought this incredibly rare and expensive stamp and they're like well he's he's in trouble now because i'd consider that quite the asset

wouldn't you he's bought you know he's got a really valuable asset now and then in the same scene they receive like a letter or a postcard from from brewster and he has used the stamp to actually send a letter so it's been like cancelled and used as a stamp and no you know he used it what it was made for and if that's legal and you know that's very clever and a good laugh in the movie it's just a throwaway scene in the movie. But I always remember thinking, well, if that's legal and permissible, why didn't he just buy loads and loads and loads of stamps like that? Like, it would be easy to spend $30 million on stamps and send them all. And then he's, like, achieved the target in, like, an afternoon. Oh, that's right.

Well, actually, you know, I went online and there's some discussion about the validity of the stamp scene. Right. Yes. Because that's a bit like burning a Picasso, isn't it? Having an inverted Jenny sent through the post. Yeah. I mean, you have used it for its purpose. And so that's the clause, I guess you'd argue, if you were voting for it being valid.

But, yeah, it does destroy its value. But, you know, appropriately so. But, yeah, and so I assume what you're saying is there's a whole bunch of stamps that are at least this rare. And he could do the same thing over and over again. And so many things in the film you think you could just take to the next level. Like he, I mean, ultimately how he really burns through the money, the idea he comes up with to help him burn through the money, is he runs for mayor of New York. Which is such an expensive thing to do that he goes through a load of money. And if you're doing that and spending a load of money on advertising, just like triple your advertising

budget, like overkill it by even more. That's right. There's lots of things like that. He plays a game. He hires the New York, is it the New york yankees yeah yeah he hires to play to play a baseball game against his like you know crappy little team in the outskirts of new york and he gets like new york yankees come to come and play against them why not play a double header against the yankees pay him double do it twice yeah all these things he does i always think you could just like up it you know that's right next level but yeah yeah that's right what about you what are some of the ideas? How would you be burning through 30 million?

I went down a bit of a rabbit hole exploring some of the, you know, the online Reddit discussions about the different ways it could happen. And I found them pretty good. One guy had a really good idea. He says, look, it costs $6 million to hire the Eagles, the rock band the Eagles, to play a private booking. So why not just say, okay, I want youagles to play a private booking so yeah why not just say okay i want you guys to play you know for a week non-stop in this hall you know what i mean i'll have friends come

and watch and just keep playing and playing and playing and at the end you'll have he sort of works it out over the days you got one and a half million left over yeah okay so you get metallica to do the last day and bang there you go exactly and and in the film there's all these little things with receipts and stationery and all these little things and that just yeah just get one do it all in one fell swoop that's right that's right yeah the other thing is he he could do i mean this is the other thing with the advertising budget he He could just buy time on primetime, which one person pointed out, this is what Ross Perot did in the 92 presidential election, independent candidate, just bought time on TV to say something. It's like, why not buy just hours and hours and hours of television

and just be standing there going, oh, g'day, how are you going? And, you know, talking on TV. But that kind of kills it a little bit, you know, when you start thinking about it. It would be a pretty boring film. A guy buys six snaps, the end. That's right. Another guy said a good way is you could just buy enough Dom Perignon champagne and just freeze it all into ice and then build an ice castle in the desert.

Like, just go through it that way. Just absurd, crazy amounts of money. Although I guess that's kind of destroying it, just buying alcohol and pouring it out. Yeah, I think that would be cheating. You should pick things that you want, though. Like, if you were going to do it right, if you've got the $30 million that you've got to burn through. I mean, I'm sure you'd like the Eagles, but they wouldn't be your first choice. No.

How would you do it? Like, you know, how would you burn through it efficiently and quickly, but in a way that is personal to you? Firstly, I feel like I need to add, I don't particularly like the Eagles, but just... Right. Okay. I don't want to... You couldn't handle that smear over your name, like...

Put it out there. Tim Hyne. Oh, he's that guy that really likes the Eagles, isn't he? You couldn't handle that smear over your name, like being perpetuated. Put it out there. Tim Hyde. Oh, he's that guy that really likes the Eagles, isn't he? Betray. Everyone out there on Twitter, make sure you contact him and point out how much you think he likes the Eagles. Forever. I don't severely dislike them.

I just would never, ever, ever put them on to listen to them. And yeah, anyway. What's your favourite Eagles song? dislike them i just would never ever ever put them on to listen to them and yeah anyway what's what's your favorite eagle song i don't i don't have a there was a i used to work with a friend who forever would just be singing tequila sunrise just for fun right so i sort of associate with that one with having a bit of a laugh but no no, I don't have a favourite Eagles song. Do you have a favourite Eagles song? I was going to say list one Eagles song that you know that's not Hotel California.

Well, I do know them because partly because they get played a lot, you know, on classic radio when I was young, I guess. And I probably know a lot of Eagles songs, but didn't realise it was the Eagles because my dad did listen to them a lot, but I didn't know what the band was. So, like, looking at a list of their songs now, like, I'm like, oh, yeah, I know loads of these songs. Desperado, New Kid in Town, Hotel California. Take it to the limit. Take it to the limit. Oh, yeah, come to think of it. Oh, my God.

My whole childhood was Eagles songs. You're actually a massive Eagles fan. You never knew it. No, that's how I'm going to spend my 30 million. Surely it would be worth 30 million to join the Eagles. Why not say, look, guys, I'll give you 30 million bucks if I can join the band for 30 days. That'd be like, whoa. You could say, well, surely.

I guess then you start earning royalties and payments and so forth. Oh, yeah. Yeah. True. But you would love that being the Eagles fan that you are. Yeah, because I'd have a friend who's in the Eagles. That's right. I find them annoying.

They're too saccharinely sort of, it's all too slick, that sort of 70s sound. It doesn't, I don't like it. It needs to be a bit more rough around the edges or something. But yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you one, my favourite Eagles related song. I do like that song, Boys of Summer by Don Henley. Do you know that?

Yeah. Yeah. How does that go? Now that the boys of summer have gone Oh, yeah, yeah, that's a good song. How's that Eagles related? Because it's Don Henley. Because Don Henley, isn't it?

Don Henley's in the Eagles. I assume it's the same one. Yeah, he's the drummer who sings. Oh, he's a drummer, is he? Yeah, I'm pretty sure he is. The drummer, but he's a singer, singing drummer. There's not a lot of that. Oh, yeah, he was the drummer and co-lead vocals for the Eagles.

Is it hard to sing and play drums at the same time? I imagine it is, but a few people do it. Phil Collins. Well, yes. Dave Grohl. How does the hitting of the drums not go into the microphone too much? That's picking up your voice. Yeah, it must do.

I mean, the drums are mic'd as well, though. So they're getting picked up by those mics and amplified massively. A little bit of spill over i didn't know don henley was the drummer for the eagles amazing i just lack your eagles expertise clearly i've not been a fan as long as you we've spent too long tell me more about the eagles what else do i know about the eagles I think their greatest hits is the closest album behind Michael Jackson's Thriller in all-time sales. Really?

Yeah, they are big. It's amazing. Real big. I know their comeback album was called Hell Freezes Over because they swore when they broke up they wouldn't play again unless hell froze over. You know so much about the Eagles. I can see why you love them. I love the Eagles.

Hang on, this isn't the confession episode anymore. I've forgotten what your podcast idea is now. That's right. Oh, yeah, Bruce Williams. Bruce Williams. turns into this massive discussion of the eagles oh dear cool i think it's a really good idea i would love to hear some civilians tell us how they would spend 30 million and having nothing it's not that great an idea is it like

no i think it is i think it like i think it is i mean basically what you're doing here with a bit of a twist is you know that classic conversation you always have with your partner or your friends what would you do if you won the lottery yeah you're asking that question but with this extra caveat to the game you can't keep the thing that you spend the money on you know so you can't buy a house and a car and all those things you would normally say when you answer the question what would you do if you won the lottery it's like a really fun way of asking that question these extra conditions it is and you can't that's why the film is so good you can't give it to charity and you can't tell anyone it is it's a little bit of another way of asking how would you waste

30 million so there's a slight sense of going gosh that would just be awful and this is this is kind of the premise for those who haven't seen the film his great great great uncle that's giving it to him basically doesn't want him to waste money. So, he's giving him this challenge so that he ends up hating, resenting the money, hating spending money so that he'll be more prudent with the big lot if he wins the big lot. So, he says, I'm going to make you hate spending money. And he does. That's an expensive way to teach someone a lesson, though, isn't it? It is. I wish Uncle Don had come into the bathroom and given me $30 million to teach me the lesson.

Maybe you don't know it, but the porcelain that you broke, maybe it was worth $30 million. And he's just very calmly come to you and, okay, Brady. I know it was you. Funnily enough, the budget of the film it only cost 20 million to make the film but oh but that's how i would have spent my money i would have made one and a half brewster's million except it would have it would have backfired because it made 45 million nearly 46 million no dear me there's a lot of other 80s movies that you could have certainly blown 30 million on

that's for sure the other thing i think that film really put into the zeitgeist was that idea of seeing that much money like on pallets the idea of seeing a million dollars or 30 million dollars like as cash because they use that imagery a lot in the film oh yeah and that's become like a real thing now isn't it what does a million? Because when you actually see a million dollars in real life, it's actually quite small. You found it quite disappointing, did you, man? No, no. I did try to film a million dollars in $1 notes for a video. Oh, yeah.

And that's obviously a hard thing to organise. But I knew someone who was really, really rich. So, I thought if he asked the bank, because he's got like billions of dollars, I thought if he asked the bank to do it for him, they might say yes, because he's such an important customer and he has the money. Yeah. But it kind of fell through. Well, you did the gold, didn't you?

The gold bullion. Yes. People haven't seen that on YouTube. That's worth Googling. That's fantastic. Yes. Fascinating. That is excellent.

Thank you for that promotion. Yep. I don't think it needed my promotion, to be honest. I think a few million people have seen it. Just Google gold bullion vault and watch the periodic videos film about it. It's an all-time classic. So, Tim, we haven't done an idea from a patron for a while i would love to hear from a patron do you know what i'd love even more for the civilians out

there to become patrons yes yes if we can if we can get our patreon up a little bit that's going to help us make more episodes of the unmade podcast and that can only be a good thing it can pretty much pretty much yep pretty pretty much yeah sorry yes it can only be a good thing. It can. Pretty much. Pretty much. Yep. Pretty much. Yeah. Sorry. Yes, it can. It's a good thing.

It's a great thing. Yeah. Patreon.com slash Unmade FM. And if you do that, you can send us an idea that we might read out on the show. You don't have to send us an idea. It's not like a condition. Don't feel like the minute you become a patron, like you're going to have some spotlight on you and you have to come up with an idea. It's just an option for you if you are. And today's

idea comes from Joel from Phoenix, Arizona. Hey, Arizona. Yeah. He's a marketing analyst. You'll love his hobby. His current hobby, he says, is rum tasting. I have had over 150 rums, both as a neat pour and as a classic daiquiri. I don't know what that means, really. But listen to this. This is relevant to your Brewster's idea. He says here, I probably could have a second podcast idea of a rum review podcast, but I have nothing to expand on it. Just that. I've nothing to expand on it, just that.

I'm currently saving up to have a glass of Appleton 50-Year, which costs $2,500 a pour. Oh, my goodness. So for a pour of Appleton 50-Year, $2,500, there's your Brewster problem solved. Wow. There you go. Well, that's right. Just have lots and lots of that Appleton rum.

And as long as you don't waste it, then it's valid as an expense. Surely drinking an expensive rum, like, because in Brewster's Millions, he, like, buys champagne and stuff, doesn't he, for parties and stuff. That's right. Yeah, yeah, for the whole crew. Is that his idea or is that just a by the way? Well, no, no, but that is a good idea. I thought that was the most interesting thing in the email.

Here's his idea. He would title his podcast audio about visuals the main focus of this podcast is less to be informative and helpful but more of a comedy podcast it focuses on taking a work of mainly visual medium and using only audio to describe the work in an ultra specific way that it becomes comical examples of such works could be a comic strip a painting or a graphic novel the host or hosts of the podcast would ideally be less literal and use metaphors similes and comparisons to make their point about what is happening in the visual i feel like this podcast would ideally be hosted by two people who have great chemistry and can play off each other very well.

So, I don't think he has us in mind. No. The podcast idea comes from when my sister and I would do this and our friends started asking for us to do it again for them and others. So, this is like a film that's playing and they start just describing the film. No, no, no, no no no no no it's like as i understand it what happens is say you and i have both uh got a garfield comic strip in front of us and then we talk for half an hour about what's in the strip and how it's funny and why it's good and try and describe it to people so they can enjoy it the way we've enjoyed it oh you can never see it oh right okay yeah yeah well if it could be done

well i think this is one of those yeah i. Well, if it could be done well. I think this is one of those. Yeah. I think most podcast ideas depend on being done well, man. But I feel like I need to say it every time. Yeah. There you go. I mean, I think that's a... I actually have an idea that's been on my list for a while.

I'll do it in a future episode that is kind of like this, but different. So, I'm going to sort of not go too deep here because I want to keep my powder dry for this future idea I have. Well, if you're not going to go deep, it's hard for me to say anything except for, oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. And thank you for supporting us on Patreon. Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, these funny little coincidences that come up? They're just tiny. Let me just say, I today was watching a television episode, a very old one called Upstairs, Downstairs,

lovely classic old BBC, and the character mentioned that they'd been to Phoenix, Arizona. And then tonight, Phoenix, Arizona comes up. It's not a big coincidence, but lots of those little slight coincidences happen all the time not an all-time classic man it is and yesterday yesterday um i went for a lovely drive actually friday it was i tell a lie and um to a small distillery and bought some gin and then today we're talking about rum a totally separate drink. So that's...

But also, speaking of Phoenix, Arizona, do you know where the eagles are from? Where they were formed? They're not. They're probably... They've got to be from somewhere in the Midwest or somewhere. No, no, they're from... Surely from more over right on the western side. Los Angeles.

Yeah. I was going to say. They're just too sickly smooth. You know what I mean? They'd have a bit of grit if they're from the Midwest or somewhere. In land. Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. They've got that sort of 70s, you know, coastal. Oh, yeah. No. If they were from Phoenix, their hit song would have been Hotel Arizona. Hotel Arizona. Well, I won't keep you any longer because I know you've got Eagles albums to listen to.

I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance.